i tried my best, i gave my all; sometimes my best wasn't good enough for you
Weezer
Pardon Me
I tried my best, I gave my all
Sometimes my best wasn't
good enough for you
Sometimes I let you go
Sometimes I hurt you so
I know that I can be
the meanest person in the world
[Chorus]
So I apologize to you
And to anyone else that I hurt too
I may not be a perfect soul
But I can learn self-control
So pardon me, pardon me
pardon me my friend
I never thought that anyone
Was more important than
the plans I made
But now I feel the shame
There's no one else to blame
For all the broken hearts
are scattered on the field of war
[Chorus]
Sometimes I let you go
Sometimes I hurt you so
I know that I can be
the meanest person in the world
[Chorus]
So I apologize to you
And to anyone else that I hurt too
I may not be a perfect soul
But I can learn self-control
And in my heart I feel it's true
So I will be there with you
So pardon me, pardon me
pardon me my friend
(I really want a friend)
well. after school on friday my dad drove me to Best Buy. we got my new 30 GB iPod =) it's great. it's black and pretty and small and EEK i'm happy. i have yet to figure out how to put video on it though... gr. yah. then at 7:30 or so Esteban picked me up and we met Robert at TCHS to see Bailey in the play. we got there at 7:45, thinking it started at eight. but it actually started at SEVEN so we missed most of the play. we pretty much sat there laughing the whole time at random things esteban and robert were talking about. it was funny. then afterward, bailey, robert, esteban, and i walked from the school to some pizzeria down by Publix. it was a kinda long walk and it was a little chilly. then we had a 14" cheese pizza and one Pepsi lol. it was funny. then esteban's parents and two of his sisters picked the four of us up. we all squished in the back seat: esteban, bailey, me, then robert. it was funny cause the whole ride to Bailey's house, we (me, robert, and the sisters) had to sit there and listen to esteban and bailey kiss. haha it was so funny. then we dropped bailey off, then i was next. robert and esteban walked me to the door and gave me a hug byeee. i went to bed at eleven-something. it was a fun night; i'm glad i went.
saturday morning i woke up at seven. got dressed and stuff. got in the car and we all drove to Hudson (west coast of FLA, on the gulf) for my dad's friend's Scott's daughter's first birthday party. we got there at 10:30 or so. it was nice. they had a lot of people, and Scott made a DVD with a bunch of pictures of Katelyn (his daughter) so it was sweet. we ate and drank (i had soda though lol) and hung out. it was okay for me; kinda boring. then we left at 4 or something and went to our cousin's jewelry (spelling on that? i think it's right...) store so my mom could pick out a new ring. OMG it's so PRETTY! and it's big and sparkly! ahhh i'm gonna post a picture soon because it's that cool lol. i helped her pick it out =) she said one day, it'll be mine! eeek that's awesome. lol. typical chick behavior, i know i know. but yeah it was nice. we were there for awhile... 4 something to 6 or 7 something. but it went fast. then we drove home. i listened to my iPod and looked out the window. we got home at 9-something and i went to bed at 10:15.
sunday, i woke up at 1:00pm cause i'm lazy lol. mom woke me up because she wanted to wash my sheets. haha that's pretty bad. i dunno why i slept so long. i was tired and hadn't slept well all week so it's okay haha. ummm... the rest of the day i watched tv and ate ice cream. pshhh fatty.
today is MONDAY. AHHH. no one likes mondays. i don't. well, school was okay. english we had a vocab test and did a review of essay stuff, spanish we did bookwork, chemistry we did a worksheet review, lunch we just ate and talked, pre-cal we did workbook stuff, history we turned in our notebooks and read some stuff in the book, psychology we had a 20-question test and then we wrote some notes on some stuff. bus ride home was FUN FUN FUN as usual. some kid threw a freakin starburst wrapper at me. LSKJDFLKSJCM.xz,cmxz stupid kids. i hate that bus so much. i dunno wth i did to them but apparently someone has a problem with me. i don't even KNOW or TALK TO or LOOK AT any of those fklasjdlkfjx lckids so lkSDFLKJSD. i wanted to turn around and be like WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM?! WHO THREW THAT F... WRAPPER AT ME?! but i knew i couldn't ever bring myself to do it. plus i promised myself i wouldn't break like that. i have my moments of anger but i'm going to keep them at a bare minimum.
i mean, i NEVER get REALLY MAD or ANGRY... i normally get upset and feel sad because of it. but i rarely get mad. stuff like that irritates me because people have to be so immature and ridiculously EHLFSDC all the time. but that's just me. i dunno. most of the kids at UHS really just.. irk me. because they have no respect for anyone or anything and all they care about is themself. forget about other peoples' feelings or emotions; as long as it feels good for YOU it's GREAT. lkasjdfhh ahhh. i don't like people. rather, the way they behave. i dunno. i just think the world could be a better place if people were more understanding and kind rather than harsh and judging and immature and impatient. i wish i could do something to help make the world better. i want to make a difference, because i feel like i'm just another little person in the world there for no purpose. maybe i have a purpose. but i want to do it, and i don't want to let myself or anyone else down. i just have no idea where to start... and everyone always expects so much of me because i'm supposedly "quite intelligent" or whatever. but i don't feel it so much. maybe i am kinda smart, but there are tons of people out there who are smarter than me. and i just feel like i'm not getting anywhere in my life. yeah i'm only 15 and in high school, but right now i'm so lazy and just not caring about my work. i'm afraid this habit will take over and i'll be left just another failure in the world. i'm so scared of becoming something i don't want to be, that i'm letting everything just pass me by. i could be doing so much more for myself but i'm just NOT doing it, and it's driving me CRAZY yet i continue these habits. i don't know what i'm doing or how to change or stop or make things like i want them. maybe i'm meant to be another failure in the world, another example of what NOT to do. but i really don't want that for myself. i want to do something, to be someone. *sigh*