I have to say I totally think men and women can be friends and THATS IT. I have numerous femla efriends who I either never though of as a potential GF, or when I met them i wasn't sure if I was interested in them as a potential GF or a poential friend, and as I got to knwo them I choose to be simply friends.
I do also have a hard time being really attracted to a woman if I am not friends with them on at least some level first.
I believe it is possible too, its just pretty obvious when these steps start to follow that friendship isn't whats really on certain peoples minds. Its sort of hurtful really.
I'm only interesting as a person based on the potential to fuck me?
I actually almost posted this comic in my LJ a few days ago because I thought it was funny, but then I realized this has never happened to me. I have no qualms saying that I absolutely would have done this if given the chance, and even almost set myself up for it once. But the first real opportunity I got to ask out a girl she ended up with a serious boyfriend pretty quickly after I met her so it never got to that point. By the time she was out of her relationship I had already been with Erika for a year or so. But we did end up as great friends anyway. Then there was Erika, and we got romantic rather quickly even though for a while we weren't officially together. So there was no tiptoeing or denying an attraction. The only other time I was in a crush situation was recently, and she told me up front within 2 days that she had a crush on me so there was no mystery or tiptoeing around there either
( ... )
I have hung around in unfortunate relationships for longer then I needed to.
Of course the one really notable one I was getting completely mixed signals from. I only bought into it for as long as I did because of some story he told me about being suicidal over his first girlfriend and how he needed tender care, but oh, I was helping him heal so much! :p I was such a sucker. He finally did get around to telling me that he had been leading me on because he didn't really have any other friends and he was afraid that if he told me I wouldn't come and hang out anymore. I told him not really seriously to go drink some bleach. (His preferred method of breaking up with people.) And that was that.
I did care about him, the caring even lasted maybe a year after everything happened. Now I can honestly say that I feel grateful to have escaped it. Someone else can bear the burden of being his only connection to the outside world. I wish them luck.
by the way, i totally agree with thevirtualjim, but I also have to say, as a guy, always be uncomfortable with those guys who want to 'be your friend'. Especially if they outright say they just want to be your friend. Especially if they offer you anything of value or are overly friendly. Even if you yourself are already in a relationship. That won't stop them.
It's one thing if a guy is completely content with his life, confident, and is happy and etc. If that's the case, then you can believe him if he just wants to be a friend. Anyone else is suspect. Sure, they might fall into the category that jim is talking about... we can all count many women we've met, realized we didn't want to bonk them (or usually, simply couldn't due to some social rules) but still were ok with being friends... but more often than not they are this guy in the comic.
Wow...that comic is really kinda depressing on several levels. Sadly, it's entirely too easy to have that kind of thing happen when you're gay, as well.
Comments 7
I do also have a hard time being really attracted to a woman if I am not friends with them on at least some level first.
Reply
I'm only interesting as a person based on the potential to fuck me?
Reply
Reply
Of course the one really notable one I was getting completely mixed signals from. I only bought into it for as long as I did because of some story he told me about being suicidal over his first girlfriend and how he needed tender care, but oh, I was helping him heal so much! :p I was such a sucker. He finally did get around to telling me that he had been leading me on because he didn't really have any other friends and he was afraid that if he told me I wouldn't come and hang out anymore. I told him not really seriously to go drink some bleach. (His preferred method of breaking up with people.) And that was that.
I did care about him, the caring even lasted maybe a year after everything happened. Now I can honestly say that I feel grateful to have escaped it. Someone else can bear the burden of being his only connection to the outside world. I wish them luck.
Reply
It's one thing if a guy is completely content with his life, confident, and is happy and etc. If that's the case, then you can believe him if he just wants to be a friend. Anyone else is suspect. Sure, they might fall into the category that jim is talking about... we can all count many women we've met, realized we didn't want to bonk them (or usually, simply couldn't due to some social rules) but still were ok with being friends... but more often than not they are this guy in the comic.
Reply
...
...
yes.
Reply
Sadly, it's entirely too easy to have that kind of thing happen when you're gay, as well.
Reply
Leave a comment