So he's looking at porn. Found out today. Haven't eaten all day. I feel nauseated and weak. Going to the gym to blow off steam. I feel dirty and betrayed. Makes me hate my body more.
I'm so sorry. I saw my husband looking at it back in 2007. I, too was disgusted. I just walked out of the office and sat outback in a lounge chair and cried. He came out and apologized & promised me that he would stop it. To the best of my knowledge, it's been 5 years and he hasn't done it.
But, yes it made me feel like "what is wrong with me?" "Am I not sexy enough?"...
I would give advice of trying not to yell at him. Just remove yourself from the room and do what I did. He'll see your hurt, not your anger. Believe me, he'll talk to you.
I'll pray for your relationship. I feel somewhat similar right now. He's not watching porn. But since having our baby 4 months ago, our sex life has been less and less frequent, which is depressing me. I know we're both tired. But since I've gained weight over the past few months, it makes me feel even worse about my body image!
Let me know how it goes. I know how heartbreaking it can be.
You are a sweetheart, thank you! Its so nice to hear from you. Our sex life has really died down too, and we don't even have a kid. It made me feel disgusted about my body. I didn't talk to him about it. I am not sure how to approach it, since he will only get mad at me for snooping. So, I have just kept quiet. He asked me what's wrong and I said I have pms. He has a lot of problems to fix...he has very bad communication and always gets uncomfortable when we have to "talk." So again, I am not enthused. I spoke to a friend and he said guys look at porn regardless of how much they love and are attracted to their partner. I still think if he's not honestly telling me or asking permission, it feels like cheating. I told him 2 years ago that he could look at dirty photos WITH my permission. And he said NO hes' just not into that. So, not sure what happened now. I am so confused still. I'll let you know if I sum up the courage to talk about it.
Thank you and hope you are well with the baby =) I am sure you still look amazing!
Jill, you are wiser and more amazing beyond your years! Thank you for this sensible, logical and fair list of things. I spoke to him yesterday about it and at first he was kind, and understanding, although defensive. Then as the day went on, he began to withdraw and now he is completely ignoring me. So I slept in the guest room. And he didn't come ask me to come to bed, or say anything. This morning he was just gone. And he didn't respond to any emails or text. I am scared. I don't want to lose him. I love his a lot. And I am not sure if hes just in withdrawal mode, or ready to call it quits. The thing that has me confused is that he is mad at ME, even though he's the one going to websites that sell escort services! I am not sure what to do. If he continues to ignore me, I will go back home to california by the weekend. But the limbo state we are in is driving me nuts. Its very difficult and I also found out I lose my job in January.
Re: I hate porn..calithin114November 15 2012, 02:24:33 UTC
No, I did not, or else I'd be accused of being a snoop. I don't quite know how to approach it. I think I will wait and attack it at the "why haven't you been intimate with me in so many months..." way. He should of known better than to mess with a woman with a computer science degree!!!! UGH. Why are men so dense?
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I'm so sorry. I saw my husband looking at it back in 2007. I, too was disgusted. I just walked out of the office and sat outback in a lounge chair and cried. He came out and apologized & promised me that he would stop it. To the best of my knowledge, it's been 5 years and he hasn't done it.
But, yes it made me feel like "what is wrong with me?" "Am I not sexy enough?"...
I would give advice of trying not to yell at him. Just remove yourself from the room and do what I did. He'll see your hurt, not your anger. Believe me, he'll talk to you.
I'll pray for your relationship. I feel somewhat similar right now. He's not watching porn. But since having our baby 4 months ago, our sex life has been less and less frequent, which is depressing me. I know we're both tired. But since I've gained weight over the past few months, it makes me feel even worse about my body image!
Let me know how it goes. I know how heartbreaking it can be.
Hugs and peaceful thoughts, Jill xoxo
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Thank you and hope you are well with the baby =) I am sure you still look amazing!
xoxo,
Cali
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