you're not dumb, I Would feel empty as well if my brother had left, it's amazing how a single person can affect your life so much, I know things will get better for you, it's usually the chain of events.
Hey Monika! It's me, Lui. I just wanted to tell you that I never had one person that was as close to me as you and Brad. The last year was my happiest year of my life and I never want to forget it (I won't). Now, that I'm home I feel as if I never had friends before I met you two. Yesterday was smashing: I got drunk with my family, got high as hell (American weed is sooo shitty!!!)and was together with the ppl. I was closest to before I left to the US and still: The whole night I felt lonely. My room is empty. I don't know how that will work out but both of us have to try our bests otherwise we'll never come anywhere. So, I love you and miss you and sleep tight!! Lui <333
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