Farewell-Goodbye: A Tribute
Re-posted by request.
5 years. So many things left unsaid and undone.
1. Heartbeats - The Knife
One night to be confused, one night to speed up truth. We had a promise made, four hands and then away. Both under influence, we had devices to know what to say. Mind is to razorblade.
The beginning. Denpasar. Both working for others. It all started with a handshake and blades.
2. 1000 Seconds - Secret Machines
Storms had gathered in crushing lines, I surrendered to the way that I remember you. That's all there was. If I was forced to choose what I have to lose. I need love but I don't need you. It started with that song, it was a thousand seconds long. It didn't end because we never got through. And did you think that I had planned it all along, hoping not to be alone? Well, I was there on the edge of the rush. Did you leave because you thought that I would stay, stricken with a holy fright? It was clear as the night in the cold, I won't ever know what you're afraid of.
When she sang him that song.
3. I'm Not In Love - Olive
I'd like to see you, but then again it doesn't really mean that much to me.
She sees him everywhere. He is always there, taunting, fighting, making comprehensive offers. You and I, we're destined to work together. I truly believe that.
4. In Your Eyes - Jeffrey Gaines
Love, I get so lost sometimes. Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart. When I want to run away I drive off in my car. But whichever way I choose, I come back to the place that you are. All my instincts, they return, and the grand facade so soon will burn. In your eyes, the light and the heat, I am complete. I see the doorways to a thousand churches, the resolution of all my fruitless searches. I see the light and the heat and I want to be that complete. I want to touch the light, the heat I see in your eyes.
The car chase along the cliffs. If you burn me, I burn you.
5. Seekers Who Are Lovers
Despite disbelief, a love as big as risk fills you up. The breath of God in my mouth. A love you can taste like kissing paste. He and I, breath to breath. I can't stop hungering for otherness. Love or on the tip of it, you looked nervous like you wanted sweet sex.
6. Leave - REM
Shifting the dream, charging the scene, I know where I marked the signs. Suffer the dreams of a world gone mad. I like it like that and I know it. I know it well, ugly and sweet, a temperament that said believe in his dream. Leave, believe, leave it all behind.
7. These Dreams (acoustic) - Heart
In a wood full of princes, freedom is a kiss. But the prince hides his face from dreams in the mist. These dreams go on when I close my eyes. Every second of the night I live another life.
So many disguises, so many aliases, but always him and always her. A lost man that could have been a Romanov prince and a lost woman pretending to be another named Julia Thorne.
8. Take This Longing - Leonard Cohen
Take this longing from my tongue. All the lonely things my hands have done. Let me see your beauty broken down. Like you would do for one you love.
9. Misguided Angel - Cowboy Junkies
I said Mama, he's crazy and he scares me, but I want him by my side. Though he's wild and he's bad and sometimes just plain mad, I need him to keep me satisfied. I said Papa, don't cry because it's all right. And I see you in some of his ways. Though he might not give me the life that you wanted, I love him the rest of my days. I said brother (Will) you speak to me of passion, you said never to settle for nothing less. Well, it's in the way he walks, it's in the way he talks, his smile, his anger, and his kisses. I said Sister (Francie) don't you understand? He's all I ever wanted in a man. I'm tired of sitting around the TV every night, hoping I'll find a Mr. Right. He says baby, don't listen to what they say. There comes a time when you have to break away. He says baby, there are things we all cling to all our lives, but it's time to let them go and become my wife. Misguided angel hanging over me. Heart like a Gabriel, pure and white as ivory. Soul like a Lucifer, black and cold like a piece of lead. Misguided angel, I'll love you until I'm dead.
Everything he is. Everything he could have been to and for her.
10. Why - Keith Caputo
I may be bad, I may be blind, I may be viciously unkind, but I can still read what you're thinking. I've heard it said too many times that you'll be better off, besides why can't you see that this world is sinking?
11. So Good - Rachel McCartney
I think of the vicious words we said, they keep repeating themselves inside my head. I think of the crazy life I've led, all the blood I've bled. All the ways you disapprove makes me feel like I have nothing left to lose. And all that is second-guessed is all I give away, all I must confess. Is it supposed to be so cruel, is it supposed to be so mean, is it supposed to be so good? Is it meant to be so fun, is it meant to be so hard, is it meant to be understood? You are a mirror for my soul, you reflect the pain that brings the change about. Sometimes it's all so uncomfortable, should I be the one to give you so much doubt?
12. Nothing Compares 2 U - Stereophonics
I go out every night and sleep all day since you took your love away. Since you been gone I can do whatever I want. I can see whomever I choose. I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant, but nothing can take away these blues. Because nothing compares to you. I can put my arms around every girl I see, but they only remind me of you. So I went to the doctor, guess what he told me? He said 'boy, you better try to have fun no matter what you do.' But he's a fool because nothing compares to you.
So many women. The one with her best friend's face. The one who was her rival for another man's affections. The one who worked with her. They were only substitutes, reminders, all tied to her in some way.
13. Go Your Own Way - Snow & Voices
Loving you isn't the right thing to do. How can I ever change things that I feel? If I could maybe I'd give you my world. How can I when you won't take it from me? You can go your own way. You can call it another lonely day. Tell me why everything's turned around. Shacking up, packing up is all you want to do. If I could, baby, I'd give you my world. Open up, everything's waiting for you. You can go your own way. You can call it another lonely day.
They'll go their own ways. All the rest is might have been and never was.
14. Farewell/Goodbye - M83
kiss on the mouth/bliss of a touch/hand in a hand/killing the fiend/I'll write my love on more than a thousand weeping willows/I walk on your voice/ so far, so close/ a whispering child/ so far, so mild/all the colors mixed up in falls of rainbows/ tears on your neck/ holding you near/ sparkling shells/ three comet tails/ hoping for some magic to make your heart beat next to mine/shiny island/ blue underground/ my everyday is fading away/ I'm flying through the wind and whistling some strange melody/ hang on to me/ getting out of my corpse/ please don't leave me/ watching you from the clouds/ melancholy/ you'll join me soon my love/ feeling frozen/ I'll warm you every night/ falling asleep/ I'll travel in your dreams
Farewell. Goodbye. There are no happy endings. There are only endings.
...
Sark:
You were careful not to say those words that soon became our private altar. I had said them many times before, dropping them like coins into a wishing well, hoping they would make me come true. I had said them many times before but not to you. I had given them as forget-me-nots to girls who should have known better. I had used them as bullets and barter. I don't like to think of myself as an insincere person but if I say I love you and I don't mean it then what else am I? Will I cherish you, adore you, make way for you, make myself better for you, look at you and always see you, tell you the truth? And if love is not those things then what things? -- Jeanette Winterson, 'Written On the Body'
Sydney:
It is no conservationist love. It is a big game hunter and you are the game. A curse on this game. How can you stick at a game when the rules keep changing? I shall call myself Alice and play croquet with the flamingoes. In Wonderland everyone cheats and love is Wonderland, isn't it? Love makes the world go round. Love is blind. All you need is love. Nobody ever died of a broken heart...It's the cliches that cause the trouble. A precise emotion seeks a precise expression. If what I feel is not precise then should I call it love?
I am desperately looking the other way so that love won't see me. I want the diluted version, the sloppy language, the insignificant gestures. The saggy armchair of cliches. -- Jeanette Winterson, 'Written On the Body'
Thank you to sarkastic for the artwork.
5 years. So many things left unsaid and undone.
1. Heartbeats - The Knife
One night to be confused, one night to speed up truth. We had a promise made, four hands and then away. Both under influence, we had devices to know what to say. Mind is to razorblade.
The beginning. Denpasar. Both working for others. It all started with a handshake and blades.
2. 1000 Seconds - Secret Machines
Storms had gathered in crushing lines, I surrendered to the way that I remember you. That's all there was. If I was forced to choose what I have to lose. I need love but I don't need you. It started with that song, it was a thousand seconds long. It didn't end because we never got through. And did you think that I had planned it all along, hoping not to be alone? Well, I was there on the edge of the rush. Did you leave because you thought that I would stay, stricken with a holy fright? It was clear as the night in the cold, I won't ever know what you're afraid of.
When she sang him that song.
3. I'm Not In Love - Olive
I'd like to see you, but then again it doesn't really mean that much to me.
She sees him everywhere. He is always there, taunting, fighting, making comprehensive offers. You and I, we're destined to work together. I truly believe that.
4. In Your Eyes - Jeffrey Gaines
Love, I get so lost sometimes. Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart. When I want to run away I drive off in my car. But whichever way I choose, I come back to the place that you are. All my instincts, they return, and the grand facade so soon will burn. In your eyes, the light and the heat, I am complete. I see the doorways to a thousand churches, the resolution of all my fruitless searches. I see the light and the heat and I want to be that complete. I want to touch the light, the heat I see in your eyes.
The car chase along the cliffs. If you burn me, I burn you.
5. Seekers Who Are Lovers
Despite disbelief, a love as big as risk fills you up. The breath of God in my mouth. A love you can taste like kissing paste. He and I, breath to breath. I can't stop hungering for otherness. Love or on the tip of it, you looked nervous like you wanted sweet sex.
6. Leave - REM
Shifting the dream, charging the scene, I know where I marked the signs. Suffer the dreams of a world gone mad. I like it like that and I know it. I know it well, ugly and sweet, a temperament that said believe in his dream. Leave, believe, leave it all behind.
7. These Dreams (acoustic) - Heart
In a wood full of princes, freedom is a kiss. But the prince hides his face from dreams in the mist. These dreams go on when I close my eyes. Every second of the night I live another life.
So many disguises, so many aliases, but always him and always her. A lost man that could have been a Romanov prince and a lost woman pretending to be another named Julia Thorne.
8. Take This Longing - Leonard Cohen
Take this longing from my tongue. All the lonely things my hands have done. Let me see your beauty broken down. Like you would do for one you love.
9. Misguided Angel - Cowboy Junkies
I said Mama, he's crazy and he scares me, but I want him by my side. Though he's wild and he's bad and sometimes just plain mad, I need him to keep me satisfied. I said Papa, don't cry because it's all right. And I see you in some of his ways. Though he might not give me the life that you wanted, I love him the rest of my days. I said brother (Will) you speak to me of passion, you said never to settle for nothing less. Well, it's in the way he walks, it's in the way he talks, his smile, his anger, and his kisses. I said Sister (Francie) don't you understand? He's all I ever wanted in a man. I'm tired of sitting around the TV every night, hoping I'll find a Mr. Right. He says baby, don't listen to what they say. There comes a time when you have to break away. He says baby, there are things we all cling to all our lives, but it's time to let them go and become my wife. Misguided angel hanging over me. Heart like a Gabriel, pure and white as ivory. Soul like a Lucifer, black and cold like a piece of lead. Misguided angel, I'll love you until I'm dead.
Everything he is. Everything he could have been to and for her.
10. Why - Keith Caputo
I may be bad, I may be blind, I may be viciously unkind, but I can still read what you're thinking. I've heard it said too many times that you'll be better off, besides why can't you see that this world is sinking?
11. So Good - Rachel McCartney
I think of the vicious words we said, they keep repeating themselves inside my head. I think of the crazy life I've led, all the blood I've bled. All the ways you disapprove makes me feel like I have nothing left to lose. And all that is second-guessed is all I give away, all I must confess. Is it supposed to be so cruel, is it supposed to be so mean, is it supposed to be so good? Is it meant to be so fun, is it meant to be so hard, is it meant to be understood? You are a mirror for my soul, you reflect the pain that brings the change about. Sometimes it's all so uncomfortable, should I be the one to give you so much doubt?
12. Nothing Compares 2 U - Stereophonics
I go out every night and sleep all day since you took your love away. Since you been gone I can do whatever I want. I can see whomever I choose. I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant, but nothing can take away these blues. Because nothing compares to you. I can put my arms around every girl I see, but they only remind me of you. So I went to the doctor, guess what he told me? He said 'boy, you better try to have fun no matter what you do.' But he's a fool because nothing compares to you.
So many women. The one with her best friend's face. The one who was her rival for another man's affections. The one who worked with her. They were only substitutes, reminders, all tied to her in some way.
13. Go Your Own Way - Snow & Voices
Loving you isn't the right thing to do. How can I ever change things that I feel? If I could maybe I'd give you my world. How can I when you won't take it from me? You can go your own way. You can call it another lonely day. Tell me why everything's turned around. Shacking up, packing up is all you want to do. If I could, baby, I'd give you my world. Open up, everything's waiting for you. You can go your own way. You can call it another lonely day.
They'll go their own ways. All the rest is might have been and never was.
14. Farewell/Goodbye - M83
kiss on the mouth/bliss of a touch/hand in a hand/killing the fiend/I'll write my love on more than a thousand weeping willows/I walk on your voice/ so far, so close/ a whispering child/ so far, so mild/all the colors mixed up in falls of rainbows/ tears on your neck/ holding you near/ sparkling shells/ three comet tails/ hoping for some magic to make your heart beat next to mine/shiny island/ blue underground/ my everyday is fading away/ I'm flying through the wind and whistling some strange melody/ hang on to me/ getting out of my corpse/ please don't leave me/ watching you from the clouds/ melancholy/ you'll join me soon my love/ feeling frozen/ I'll warm you every night/ falling asleep/ I'll travel in your dreams
Farewell. Goodbye. There are no happy endings. There are only endings.
...
Sark:
You were careful not to say those words that soon became our private altar. I had said them many times before, dropping them like coins into a wishing well, hoping they would make me come true. I had said them many times before but not to you. I had given them as forget-me-nots to girls who should have known better. I had used them as bullets and barter. I don't like to think of myself as an insincere person but if I say I love you and I don't mean it then what else am I? Will I cherish you, adore you, make way for you, make myself better for you, look at you and always see you, tell you the truth? And if love is not those things then what things? -- Jeanette Winterson, 'Written On the Body'
Sydney:
It is no conservationist love. It is a big game hunter and you are the game. A curse on this game. How can you stick at a game when the rules keep changing? I shall call myself Alice and play croquet with the flamingoes. In Wonderland everyone cheats and love is Wonderland, isn't it? Love makes the world go round. Love is blind. All you need is love. Nobody ever died of a broken heart...It's the cliches that cause the trouble. A precise emotion seeks a precise expression. If what I feel is not precise then should I call it love?
I am desperately looking the other way so that love won't see me. I want the diluted version, the sloppy language, the insignificant gestures. The saggy armchair of cliches. -- Jeanette Winterson, 'Written On the Body'
Thank you to sarkastic for the artwork.