needs some revision

Jul 28, 2006 13:13

silence ( Read more... )

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shernancia July 28 2006, 22:32:58 UTC
The last line sorta seems iffy to me. Maybe it's because of the word "damn"? But I really like this, I can somewhatly relate. Oh, and I really like the phrase "reckless diamonds".

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vincent710 July 29 2006, 02:32:57 UTC
yeah i think the damn makes it personal, if you leave it out it can be applied to more people... thats just how it seems to me, like the last line is like an extra thought you wanted to add yourself instead of the end of the poem (i dunno if you even wanted critique lol >.>)

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