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[callingghosts]

I couldn't sleep today until almost, 6 P.M. I assumed this would happen. I think everything of the last few months has finally caught up with me in one, single, swoop. So, maybe if I just get it out of my head all at once I'll do better. That's the plan anyway

Comments

[darkcrispy]

love you brother. It seems to me that you may be looking at this the wrong way. Change can be a good thing. Have you considered that perhaps you may be outgrowing some of your friends? Or rather, that some may be holding you back from becoming a better person? I fell into that trap way too easily, becoming stagnant and treading water as I tried to cling to what was, (in some ways still do.) and it cost me quite a bit

[callingghosts]

Weird. IJ won't post my comment..

[callingghosts]

Well, I agree with you in the sense that you mean here. Change is important, really rather paramount, to living. If you're not changing you're not growing and, to quote Bob Dylan "He not busy being born is busy dying." Perhaps it's not the best example to use, given the rest of the context, but it's something I believe is very true. You've got to change, to expand your life and your horizons, your interests and your feelings, even your beliefs about things. It's only through expansion, comparison, and reflection that we can really grasp who we are and how we've come to be there - plus it's pretty good at helping you sort out a lot of things in your life that you just don't need

[callingghosts]

I've, pretty much, stopped going out, at least to clubs. I have no more interest in goth nights, or really scenes in general. I have nothing against them, per say, but they're just too indicative of biased, judgmental, clique based mentalities that just don't work for me any more. I want and need to be around people who stimulate me, who can talk about more than just what a bitch someone is, how the new album is crap, how no good music has been released since 1989, and how someone in a white T-shirt is not worth talking to. I understand that these aren't the entirety of what's there but, lets face it, they're not uncommon. I just don't want that kind of thing in my life anymore and I refuse to invite it

[myredcello]

As much as I do not want to see you go, I know after reading this and contemplating how you are feeling that your statement 'This has, coupled with everything else I've looked at and had to deal with, really forced me to re-evaluate my life, myself, my direction, my course, and what is right for me ' shows that you really do need this soul searching trip. All my love and prayers for your safe return.

[myredcello]

miss you