catch me if i fall
The hubby and I have been looking at buying a sailboat for awhile now. So when the opportunity arose, we jaunted quickly up to Alaska to check out one we'd been eyeing for awhile.
Last minute trips are always an adventure, and this one was no different. The flight out was just a pile of horrible. Our flight was in multiple legs, and we ended up being stranded in MN when the flight from Atlanta was first delayed, then had mechanical problems. I got to enjoy that flight sitting next to a gentleman (and i use the term loosely) who decided watching porn on his phone with the volume just loud enough for me to hear (no headphones) was a good idea. Once he figured out that I'd noticed, he put it away and became SUPER FRIENDLY. so that was creepy.
Since we were stranded, Delta put us up at a hotel, but we were stuck in the room right over the lobby, so we got no sleep. We putzed around the twin cities, and checked out the Mall of America, which was neat until it became too crowded to even move.
Our flight to Alaska went well, except for the guy who thought he had to punch the video screen behind my head to make it work for the 5 hour flight. I even asked him to try and be more gentle. It lasted a half hour before he was back to punching. ><
Once we actually got to Alaska tho, it was awesome. I took tons of photos, but all on the man's phones so hopefully I can get them off soon. We had to drive a few hours out of Anchorage, but the drive was amazing and the weather was perfect. The people selling the boat were very awesome, and we had a great time with them. We checked out the boat and she was just perfect, so barring any unusual circumstances we are buying her. YAY! We had a few days there, so we got to check out the town and the marine animal center. We got to go kayaking and see seals, otters, fish and seabirds in the wild as well. Ravens up there are HUGE and just so gorgeous. The mountains were stunning and everything was still snow covered, even though the temperatures were comfortable for walking around and hanging out. We even spent one night on the boat comfortably.
We were both very sad to leave, it's a gorgeous area, and we're looking forward to going back in the summer to get our boat outfitted and ready to start sailing south. :D
The flights back were annoying but mostly uneventful. Flying back to Florida during the start of Spring Break season is always such a pleasure.... :P Still, we're home now, and dreaming of being up in the frozen north. The cats are thrilled to have us back though.
Being back home means spending time on the internet again, so I have something I just wanted to get off my chest.
There's a tumblr that people i follow occasionally reblog that's all about 'thin privilege'. And every time I read something that was reblogged I get so upset, because they're talking about horrible things that happened to them because they weren't thin, and yet they are all things that have happened to me BECAUSE I was thin. Maybe there's this line that people have in their minds where skinny isn't the same as thin, or TOO thin isn't the same as thin, but at least in my life, thin was always the nice way of saying 'eat a damn cheeseburger', just like chubby was always the nice way of saying 'put that cheeseburger down'. I'm not saying that people aren't outright shitty to fat people, I know they are. I'm just saying that they're shitty to skinny people too. And it makes me very sad to see that people think that everything was roses for me because I was skinny, when I had to deal with all that crap too.
I know what it's like to be asked why I was in a store, or stared at like I didn't belong. I know what it's like to not be able to find clothes to fit, when the most extreme size doesn't come close to my body. I know what it's like to have people police your every choice, and tell you how to live because you don't look like what they think you should. When strangers feel that they can come up and comment on your body like it's theirs. I know how it feels when some dude offers you a pity fuck because who would want to sleep with you? I know what it's like when your body changes to a more socially acceptable shape because of illness/medication/distress, and how it feels when everyone tells you how great you look, how healthy, how hot. When every time you go to the bathroom after you eat, people are giving you knowing looks, or checking to see if you were puking. I know what it's like to try everything you can to look more like what people expect you to, and to hate yourself because you just can't.
And no one should have to put up with that crap, no matter what extreme you are sitting at.
I used to just shut up and take it, because at the same time, people would be telling me how lucky I was to be so skinny, and how great it must be to eat anything I want and never gain a pound (no matter how hard I was trying to gain a few). It wasn't until I met a girl who was the biggest girl I'd ever met, and we got to talking that we both realized how similar the crap we had gone through was. She let me bitch about how shitty it was and what changes in my body felt like, and I let her do the same. She was the first woman I could talk about my life experiences without getting the general 'what do you know, you're skinny' line. It was such a relief to have someone listen and believe me! She was (and still is) amazing.
So I'm of the opinion that people will find a reason to be shitty to you whenever you are outside an ideal (or less frequently, but still happens, inside the ideal, because how dare you?). So let's stop drawing lines in the sand and just call out bullshit behaviors without alienating people who get the same lines of crap.
And even now, I sat on this post for hours, because I'm still scared to share this stuff. My teenage years were crappy for a lot of reasons that I don't feel like going into, but this stuff was a constant drain on my already stressed psyche, and even though I'm not that skinny any more, I still deal with issues stemming from how I was treated.
Originally posted @ http://calliopeoracle.dreamwidth.org/14270.html