(no subject)
sometimes the wrath of my own jealousy astounds me. it's a burning in my gut, it turns my stomach with nausea. it rages. it's a complete phenomenon. although some of it is in the traditional departments where one would find it, a lot of it is in unexpected places. it's so powerful. i know "it's a waste of time and energy," but please trust me when i say i'd stop it if i could. which is why i've been thinking... i'm trying to figure out how to harness this kind of feeling and channel it into something productive. i wouldn't say it's more powerful than anything else (has anyone ever seen me livid? lolz.) (although it's definitely more powerful than things like 'rationale' or 'love') but it might be the proper combination of envy, anger, ambition, and sheer fuel to lead to some sort of benefit, if applied properly (for example if i could eliminate the 'blinding' aspect). i'll let you know how it goes. in other news, i need legit headshots. it is time.