The view from the window is ideal. It is the product of story books and warm weekends. And the walls that I stand between act as blinders so that all I see is the sun setting on the cobblestones and the fluttering of leaves. When I leave the storefront, there are all the things that we willed ourselves not to see. Why is it that we try to ( Read more... )

I have realized that I am at a very selfish stage of my life. As independent as I have been, it has evolved to self-centeredness. Rather, self concern. I am worried solely about myself, where my life is going, how I feel, who I'm with. It's resulted in me-me-me 24/7, and I haven't been as concious of it as I should be. But that just proves to ( Read more... )

I'm starting to feel that the world isn't big enough to find what I want.

It's strange to see that my ultimate muse has evolved so much from everything I remember her as. Maybe not strange, but surprising. I remember her as such a dusty character, as beautiful as thistle flowers and as profound as the only cloud in the middle of a desert sky. Her words were choice and effortless. To say the least, she is the most ( Read more... )

How long has it been? Weeks later and I'm staying at my in-laws' waiting for renovations to be over at the house we're renting in Portland. I'm frustrated. I've been trying to find out for two weeks where we're going and when we're going. Am I the only one who's trying to leave this place? How fucking long have I been working to move when I'm ( Read more... )

So, here we are again. We're back to that awkward and nearly uncomfortable stage between point A and B. Moving dates can't come fast enough. I'm just holding on right now, trying to save my relationship (I still can't decide if it's worth saving) and trying to bite my tongue at a job where everybody is on the verge of a mental breakdown. ( Read more... )

I am whoring myself to the world ( Read more... )

I know what I'm going to to with my life.

You are resolved -
dissolved,
gelatin in water,
the ridges in my nails.
I am okay
today.

I've been thinking more and more lately about the things that having too much time on your hands bring about. Life, death. Politics, morals. Rules, exceptions. Meaning, survival. Thinking leaves you empty, or hopeless. It's like getting lost in the desert and never knowing if you're heading towards anything. You might get there, but it takes ( Read more... )