The kid who was stalking me last year, who I so harshly rejected and treated as less than a person probably commited suicide. He was a stupid little freak, but he didn't deserve to die. He was seventeen
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*hug* thank you, dear. That really did make me feel good to know you care. And I agree with you on the faith thing. I actually tryed to pray for her when we had a "moment of silence" for her today in class. But, I felt like I was talking to the floor, and it was pointless.
It's always nice to have support, I guess. I didn't feel it was appropriate to offer mine in a random comment fest on your journal, though. Because it did touch something personal. I know what it's like to feel the way you're feeling and I hate that you have to go through it.
The emptiest thing anyone has ever said to me was, "Don't worry, God has a plan" after I'd just testified against my dad and he only got three years. And that's when I realised that I was utterly alone and lost whatever faith I had left. But if you have it, I guess you should try to hang on to it, since it seems to comfort a lot of people. I'm just not capable now, after all I've been through.
*hugs back* I'll be on AIM all night if you need me. Or anyone, really.
You don't really know me so I'm sorry for invading like this but I just wanted to say I'd move heaven and earth if I knew it would help. Because no one should have that much hurt.
That's a sweet sentiment. And thanks for the thought. But all the sweet sentiments in the world can't fix the damage that's been done to me and can't change the past. The only remedy is moving forward. Inertia, though, is something I have trouble keeping. I try not to live in the past so much, but sometimes it bubbles up. I have every reason to be happy, if I could just focus on what I have now, rather than what I've lost (like my mind, for instance) or what I could lose in the near future. Guess I heven't learned.
And seriously, if you want to get to know me, AIM me at prodmethere. I'm on ALL THE TIME. I don't bite.
You know what else? The internet is a great place. Because there, even strangers care. In the real world, it's hard to know if the people you're closest to even give a rat's arse. And I think that's just lovely.
that is lovely. ive found lj to be a caring sort of place. and i didnt mean to give you empty sentiments. i just hate that i can't fix the world. my aim is beachysurfer17 if you ever need to chat. i, in turn, will do my best to not to appear to be at all stalkerish.
And I thought I had it bad. I mean I've gone through 7 deaths in the last 5 years, most recent being one of my brothers, but all quite different from yours. Don't misunderstand me, I do not pity you, because I've found pity and pitying faces accompanied by hollow sorry's can be almost the worst. I pity no one, but I am sympathetic. It can seem stupid when all people can say is rely on religion, but it's helped, comforted, and calmed me once I decided that God didn't just right out hate me and maybe I should try to follow his rules a bit more closely. Maybe it will work with you and maybe it won't. I'm in a limbo with the Lord right now, trying to figure things out, but if he's helped me maybe he will you sooner or later. That's just my opinion, so if you don't like it, don't lash out please.
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It's rough. Really rough.
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The emptiest thing anyone has ever said to me was, "Don't worry, God has a plan" after I'd just testified against my dad and he only got three years. And that's when I realised that I was utterly alone and lost whatever faith I had left. But if you have it, I guess you should try to hang on to it, since it seems to comfort a lot of people. I'm just not capable now, after all I've been through.
*hugs back* I'll be on AIM all night if you need me. Or anyone, really.
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And seriously, if you want to get to know me, AIM me at prodmethere. I'm on ALL THE TIME. I don't bite.
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And I thought I had it bad. I mean I've gone through 7 deaths in the last 5 years, most recent being one of my brothers, but all quite different from yours.
Don't misunderstand me, I do not pity you, because I've found pity and pitying faces accompanied by hollow sorry's can be almost the worst. I pity no one, but I am sympathetic.
It can seem stupid when all people can say is rely on religion, but it's helped, comforted, and calmed me once I decided that God didn't just right out hate me and maybe I should try to follow his rules a bit more closely. Maybe it will work with you and maybe it won't. I'm in a limbo with the Lord right now, trying to figure things out, but if he's helped me maybe he will you sooner or later.
That's just my opinion, so if you don't like it, don't lash out please.
-MH
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