TM #177 - Who has made you smile recently?
I'll be the first to admit that my first reaction wasn't to smile, it was to leave my seat, run to the head and put my hand under the hottest water I could stand for five minutes. Not actually wanting to run out of the briefing room when the Major was about to address the air group, I opted for just backing away and wiping my hand on my flightsuit. I didn't smile until afterwards.
You see, my good friend Hot Dog-- Lt. Edward Costanza, it says on the roster board-- had just told me (while squirming and tugging awkwardly at the crotch of his flightsuit) that he had a rash that just wouldn't go away. Now like I said, Hot Dog couldn't sit still and was itching down there. Yes, it was that kind of rash, and I confess to how hard it was to not twist around in my seat, tell Sharon what had just happened and look to see if anyone else in the room was squirming, too.
It happens a lot more than you'd think, really. Just look at the situation: you've got maybe twenty or thirty pilots who spend part of their time in some of the most stressful, intense situations imaginable: space combat. And whether you're a Viper jock or you drive a Raptor, any time more than just your ass is on the line, you're going to go through a whole lot of tense before either the job's done and you can unclench, or some Cylon's cannons will take care of things for you.
The rest of a pilot's day is a hell of a lot of time hanging around the ship, typically in some very close quarters. Unmarried officers all have racks in regular duty lockers, about six or eight to a room (things are even smaller in the enlisted lockers, more like twelve to a room). All that separates you from your fellow jocks is a curtain, and yeah, everything's co-ed, right down to the head and the showers. Plus, at least among this crew, most of the flyers are around 35 and younger, and... well, everyone seems to be at least okay looking.
So with all that is it much of a surprise that there's more hooking up going on than at the comm switchboard in CIC? There's always a lot of tension that needs to be burned off, and not everybody likes heading to the shooting range or working out. And even those of us that like those things would probably always opt for a little rack n' roll first, if given the choice.
For the most part, it's pretty casual. There's folks who are just buddies with benefits, sometimes it's an excuse to do something that you wouldn't normally without any strings (like the story I once heard about Narcho and Fuzzy), and every now and then it actually turns into something real. But it's mostly harmless, and talking and speculating on it is a hell of a lot more fun way to pass time than talking about the pilots who aren't flying anymore.
Of course, Hot Dog learned the hard way that sometimes, you get the "harmless" and sometimes you get the "mostly". I'm sure Doc Cottle was able to give him something for it, and it'll clear up soon. But for now, he's the cautionary tale and the top of the speculation pool. (Personally, my money's on Racetrack. I've seen Maggie at Joe's when she decides to wear civvie clothes and get made up, and I've seen Hot Dog's eyes bug out about it.)
Of course, me being married and all to a hot pilot of my own? Makes it extra funny to spectate. So keep it up, people. You all are better than the comedy shows on wireless.
Capt. Karl "Helo" Agathon
Battlestar Galactica
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