FICLET: Do not go gentle

[calove]

This is the second of the orphaned fics. This one obsessed me for a few weeks last year shortly after writing Five Stages of Grief, but it never seemed right, despite getting to 3,500 words. I've fiddled with the thing off and on for ages to no real avail, so - resolution and all - post it, forget it and move on

Comments

[brunettepet]

The initial bar scene was nicely drawn, and Spike's offhand violence as the watcher reaches into her purse gave just the right touch of menace to the encounter. This was emotional and intimate, and I like how it dovetails into canon, leading Spike to the New York slayer.

This paragraph really resonated for me:

"He frowned. He could hear it in her voice, see it in the fevered blue of her eyes, the burning desire to live, to grow, to clutch life to herself and use any opportunity to keep it. And he recognised something - the desperation to be more than what she’d been, the realisation that the life she had been leading, when it came to it, wasn’t worth a fuck. He felt a sudden surge of something he hadn’t felt for decades - pity. He bit down on it and shook his head." Spike biting back the emotion was lovely.

[calove]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I have problems writing pre-Buffy Spike as pure, full on evil - I tend to think the seeds of what he became must have been there even then, and that depending on circumstances, there might be flashes of the 'real' Spike, of what he might be capable of. Not saying he was an angel (no pun intended!), I'm sure he could get his evil on with the best of them; but he was something more.

But then, I do have a bit of a soft spot :)

[fredsmith518]

Partly he was peeved at being denied the fear, partly he was tempted to go ahead anyway - but mostly… he wanted to know what the fuck was going on. these lines struck me.

Very sympathetic portrait of the young watcher, those few paras where you describe her past life, leading to this choice are well done to engender readers to care even more about her. Sort of place where I'd dither about dialogue, but the exposition works much better, less emotion = more somehow.

[calove]

Interesting you should say that, because there was dialogue originally. He was with her longer, and there was more of a relationship going on. But it never really flowed properly, and it didn't really fit with Spike as he must have been then. It seemed snappier at the end without it, so that was the final cut that got me to the stage of posting it. I dither, too :)

[fredsmith518]

Good choice, then. Snappier, yes, and as I tried to convey, the matter of factness works well also.

[hesadevilspike]

Just as lovely as when I first read it. Spike is so perfectly in cannon - and the lighter has such resonance with his relationship with Buffy that's it's doubly fitting it should appear here as a trophy and his link to another Slayer.

Well did! And congratulations on the SDFA win.

[calove]

Thanks, pet. I had to be very firm with myself about not making him too nice :)

And to you! It was a really nice surprise - I've not won anything at SoG before.

[kathyh]

Wonderful dark story. I love the links to canon with the lighter, the portrayal of the despairing Watcher and Spike himself at this time. Beautiful writing. Thanks.

[calove]

Thanks, kathy. Always enjoy pulling bits of canon in when I can! I'm glad you liked it.

[curiouswombat]

Perfect - this was just the right size for this - not a poor orphan, a bright shiny star.

[calove]

The orphan apparently responded to a bit of TLC :) Thanks, CW, glad you liked it.