FICLET: Do not go gentle

[calove]

This is the second of the orphaned fics. This one obsessed me for a few weeks last year shortly after writing Five Stages of Grief, but it never seemed right, despite getting to 3,500 words. I've fiddled with the thing off and on for ages to no real avail, so - resolution and all - post it, forget it and move on

Comments

[slaymesoftly]

Chillingly good. A wonderful early Spike that reminds us of what he was for many years - and yet with a touch of the lurking William that he never quite shook off. I strongly suggest you post it at good__evil next month (Spike month).

[calove]

Thank you so much!

I don't know how good__evil slipped past my radar, but I hadn't come across it before. It looks like a really great community. Thanks for pointing me in its direction - I'd best join :)

[slaymesoftly]

Oh, absolutely, you must! LOL Most months the mods (and members) are wishing there were more fics entered. (next month will probably be an exception with everyone's fav vampire being the featured character. lol). Although the quality is usually quite good, greater numbers would be wonderful. And, with no restrictions on pairings and good/evil or ambiguous characters encouraged, you are pretty much free to write/submit whatever the muse wants. :)

[anonymous]

I came by way of SU Herald (I lurk because I'm lazy.). Lovely story, quiet & desperate. I liked this: "He had his reasons - reasons that stopped him from offering her the chance of unlife and what that unlife meant, reasons that brought a twinge of pain and a prick of long-suppressed memory reburied before it could surface. Reasons he wasnt going to acknowledge, least of all to himself." Very subtle nod to his mother's unfortunate demise at his hands decades earlier. Of course he doesn't want to make another childe. I liked your spike a lot: amoral & selfish & vicious, and yet, and yet... again, a lovely story. Thanks for sharing.

N

[calove]

Thank you for delurking! I know Spike pre-Buffy could be all sorts of evil, but the seeds of what he became must have been there even then. So, yes, my Spike back then was amoral and selfish and vicious and all the bad stuff - but what made him what he became was part of him, even if he didn't know/want it.

[yourlibrarian]

I loved this. Spot-on Spike voice, the origins of the lighter, and an interesting OC. Great read.

[calove]

Getting Spike's voice right is really important to me - so thank you for this. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[quietpoet]

i really really liked this story. (came in here on petzipellepingo's rec)

I really your version of how he got the lighter, and how it ties in with Nikki in New York.

My favorite part was how your Spike is so spot-on with canon Spike, but also has so much William in him, however deeply buried. That's how I see my Spike. He had to have retained a lot of William and kept him in his heart if not under the surface all those years in order to start his journey after he met Buffy. At least that's what I think.

My favorite part of this is definitely the part where he realized he pities her because he sees something of himself in his human days in her (at least I hope you were meaning to imply this, because that's what I got from it).

I also love how poignant and visceral this feels, and also how sensual Spike is no matter what he's thinking.

Beautiful work!

[calove]

We clearly see a very similar Spike.

He had to have retained a lot of William and kept him in his heart if not under the surface all those years in order to start his journey after he met Buffy. At least that's what I think.

Agree with you totally. I think Spike revelled in the freedom that being a vampire brought him, and the sheer vicious joy of his unlife, but I never got the impression he was full-on evil like Angelus.

My favorite part of this is definitely the part where he realized he pities her because he sees something of himself in his human days in her (at least I hope you were meaning to imply this, because that's what I got from it).

Well, I'm glad that came across, because that's what I tried to imply. William is still part of Spike, even if he's buried deep.

I'm very glad you enjoyed this, and thank you for the thoughtful comments.

[calove]

Why, thank you!