(no subject)
I've always known that I would have a nickname, the kind that was distinguishable, the kind that would make strangers come up to me and go "OH, you're that girl!", the kind that would elicit many questions and bring up many stories that would explain the origins...
Box Girl
Wildin'
Apparently everyone knows me as the dancing Asian chick. I can't say I haven't let loose the times I've been drinking, but for people to think I can dance because of my drunken attempts at popping... that's stretching it. But I do love that the general consensus is that I'm crazy. Crazy, embarassing, loud, obnoxious, but thoroughly entertaining.
I remember the first time I was drunk on Pine. I had a dance off to someone with no music in the background. I got so much shit from Janelle and Essence that I made a mental note not to face off somebody next time I got completely faded.
Of course I didn't listen to myself and ended up having a similar night the next week, except this time I wound up with a swollen eye and five stitches in my forehead. I fought tooth and nail to keep the circumstances a secret and so far only a few people still know the truth of what happened. Those individuals were the ones who were with me at the E.R.
I've hyperventilated a couple of times when I was drinking. Not because I was drunk, oh no. But because I was hyper, and if I'm not doing anything to release that energy, my heart beats too fast and I end up having a too difficult time breathing. The first time I hyperventilated, I made the mistake of downing three huge glasses of jungle juice. Cakes, Vinnie, Idol, and Jack were holding me down and trying to keep me calm. It didn't work. I ran out of there and in an attempt to release that pent up energy, wound up destroying my room.
The second time I hyperventilated I was at the bar and I just got done chewing Vinnie out. I was so upset by the situation that I just broke down. Cakes was there and he helped calm me down.
The third and final time I'm pretty sure I had a panic attack. Craig and I were arguing, about what I don't know-apparently I was talking in circles (but why you would want to even have a discussion with a drunk, I don't know)-but he continued trying to have a serious conversation with me... I panicked, lost all control, and tried so hard to breathe. He kept looking over me, screaming at me to calm down, trying to tell me to breathe.... mother fucker, if you weren't trying to have a drunk conversation with me in the first place, this wouldn't have happened, duh!?
For the longest time I was afraid of drinking. I thought about how I would be when I was drunk. Loose? Na, never was a horny drunk. Sad? I've already cried my way out of that stage. Angry? Yes... that was it. Anger. I was scared that I was going to end up like my dad. He was a scary drunk. He hit people. He hit on people (specifically my cousins). He didn't have control. I was scared I wouldn't have control. I was scared that the alcohol-induced haze would have me spiraling out of sanity.
I'm still scared. But that doesn't stop me from drinking.
Box Girl
Wildin'
Apparently everyone knows me as the dancing Asian chick. I can't say I haven't let loose the times I've been drinking, but for people to think I can dance because of my drunken attempts at popping... that's stretching it. But I do love that the general consensus is that I'm crazy. Crazy, embarassing, loud, obnoxious, but thoroughly entertaining.
I remember the first time I was drunk on Pine. I had a dance off to someone with no music in the background. I got so much shit from Janelle and Essence that I made a mental note not to face off somebody next time I got completely faded.
Of course I didn't listen to myself and ended up having a similar night the next week, except this time I wound up with a swollen eye and five stitches in my forehead. I fought tooth and nail to keep the circumstances a secret and so far only a few people still know the truth of what happened. Those individuals were the ones who were with me at the E.R.
I've hyperventilated a couple of times when I was drinking. Not because I was drunk, oh no. But because I was hyper, and if I'm not doing anything to release that energy, my heart beats too fast and I end up having a too difficult time breathing. The first time I hyperventilated, I made the mistake of downing three huge glasses of jungle juice. Cakes, Vinnie, Idol, and Jack were holding me down and trying to keep me calm. It didn't work. I ran out of there and in an attempt to release that pent up energy, wound up destroying my room.
The second time I hyperventilated I was at the bar and I just got done chewing Vinnie out. I was so upset by the situation that I just broke down. Cakes was there and he helped calm me down.
The third and final time I'm pretty sure I had a panic attack. Craig and I were arguing, about what I don't know-apparently I was talking in circles (but why you would want to even have a discussion with a drunk, I don't know)-but he continued trying to have a serious conversation with me... I panicked, lost all control, and tried so hard to breathe. He kept looking over me, screaming at me to calm down, trying to tell me to breathe.... mother fucker, if you weren't trying to have a drunk conversation with me in the first place, this wouldn't have happened, duh!?
For the longest time I was afraid of drinking. I thought about how I would be when I was drunk. Loose? Na, never was a horny drunk. Sad? I've already cried my way out of that stage. Angry? Yes... that was it. Anger. I was scared that I was going to end up like my dad. He was a scary drunk. He hit people. He hit on people (specifically my cousins). He didn't have control. I was scared I wouldn't have control. I was scared that the alcohol-induced haze would have me spiraling out of sanity.
I'm still scared. But that doesn't stop me from drinking.