Idea that won't leave...
Despite Sue’s many attempts to destroy Glee Club, it surprised even her that when it finally imploded it was due to Rachel Berry.
Santana walked into the club the afternoon it all ended and mocked a silently crying Rachel, “What now ManHands? Find out Toddler’s-R-Us is banning you for making them look bad?” She failed to notice that these sobs were quiet and the girl was barely paying attention to whether anyone was noticing, not even seeming to notice herself that the tears were falling.
“Shut up Santana,” Kurt hissed from Rachel’s side as everyone else watched. Then gentler, “She just got called that one of her father’s was found in an alley beaten with. . .words carved into him. So just Shut Up for once!”
Shock filled the room. Kurt was obviously the only one who knew why the girl was upset. Puck was the first to react and he quickly moved to her side and placed an arm over her shoulders.
“I’m so sorry, Berry,”
“It’s okay, Kurt shouldn’t have reacted like that,” she replied in a monotone.
“You’re allowed to be angry Rachel. You’re allowed to scream and cry or whatever else. You’re allowed to not be okay.”
“Why? Because it’s really no different than every other day of my life. Only today instead of carving their hate in cars or painting it on our garage, they carved it into skin, and used the blood as paint, but truly it’s just another day with two dads.”
He couldn’t find a way to answer her so he merely pulled her tightly into his side. Suddenly she was looking up at him, “Were you. . .did you ever. . .?”she asked naively.
“I. . .” he began then wished like never before he could lie to her, that he would be able to pull it off. “Rach,” he started softly.
Horror covered her face as she jerked away. “Noah?” she questioned.
“I don’t think. . .” he tried to tell her.
She moved further away, “Yes or no.”
When he only looked at her sadly, she moved to stand, “How many of you have done it? Mike? Finn? Sam?” She asked horror stricken. No one met her eyes as she frantically looked around, “Fine we’ll start easy. Mike. Yes or no,” she questioned looking only at Noah. Mike seemed to recognize the question wasn’t for him to answer.
Noah clenched eyes was the only response, before she shrilly demanded, “Yes or no.”
“Yes,” he admitted hanging his head between his knees.
Hearing it obviously threw her because she stumbled and then picked, “Matt.” Someone who would obviously hurt less.
“No,” he told her.
“Finn.”
“I. . .” the stupid boy started to answer when Puck was silent a moment to long, he stopped when Rachel’s glare turned to him. Santana also covered his mouth to prevent whatever he’d been about to attempt to say to be released aware that this was only partly about them.
“Rachel,” Noah breathed brokenly when Rachel again demanded yes or no.
“Fine,” she said and everyone felt like they could breathe after holding their breaths for too long, but Noah knew she wasn’t done. The jocks and Cheerios were all looking at the floor careful not to look at Rachel or each other. Some happy in the respite, her seemingly relenting had provided.
“Santana,” she immediately continued.
“Yes,” he said resigned.
“Brittany.”
“No.”
“Quinn,” the rapid fire continued.
Noah spared a glance at the other girl, before answering, “Yes.”
“Finn.”
“Yes,” he admitted no longer trying to stop the inevitable, but still it was as though the simple word was ripped from him.
“Puck,” she spit out in distate.
He flinched but admitted “Yes,” and then seemed to collapse in on himself.
She too seemed a bit more broken and quickly turned on her heel at his admission, she was stopped before she could leave.
“DON’T TOUCH ME,” she cried jerking her elbow from Finn’s grasp.
“I’m sorry, but I never came up with the idea or you know suggested it,” he stumbled pathetically over words. Attempting the excuses the others had known not to try.
“You could have done something,” she told him and they all were surprised at how devoid of emotion she was. For the first time looking at her when she looked at this boy all they saw was desolation, “You follow and call it leading. But what good does that do?”
“Matt tried and it didn’t work,” he tried to argue.
The other boy answered, “No, he just never showed up. And we never invited Brittany-we didn’t want to ‘spoil’ her. Which just proves we knew it was wrong.” Finally he looked up at Finn as near to tears as they had ever seen him, “We could have stopped it. You and I, Quinn and San. If we’d spoken up- head cheerleader and the quarterback it would have deterred at least a few people.”
“Puck!” Finn denied what he was trying to say immediately.
“You met my fathers,” Rachel said looking at him searchingly. “Did you. . .were you thinking, wondering how it made them feel or where you trying to decide how’d it feel to hurt them? Hurt them where they’d see your face?” She looked at the remaining people searchingly. “What about you? What would you have done if you’d been asked Tina? Or Artie? You, Mercedes? You haven’t been here long, Sam would you?”
She walked out then, leaving them all speechless for a couple of minutes that felt like hours. No one could find the right apology to make, or the right way or even desire to comfort any of the accused. Eventually it was again Puck who spoke, “Mercedes or Kurt or Tina or Artie needs to go after her.”
Kurt moved for the door, while holding tightly to Mercedes hand as he walked seemingly requiring her strength as he stumbled along far from his usual grace. He turned though, and looked at the club he once thought of as family. He was paler than they’d ever seen, when he asked, “What about since Glee? Have you. . .done it since Glee? Have any of you harassed my father even?” He waited with Mercedes tightly hugging him.
“Have you?” Tina asked quietly looking at Mike. He quickly shook his head.
“He never came much,” Puck spoke once again seemingly unable to be silent today.
This immediately turned their searching gaze to him, and he seemed to understand the question, “Not since the week I . . .not since Rachel.”
Kurt nodded and then looked at the only other person in the room who’s answer really mattered, not feeling like he had the strength to hear everyone else’s answer. “Finn,” he called when the boy avoided his gaze.
“I. . . not for awhile.”
“When?” Mercedes demanded at his side. Knowing the boy’s answer hadn’t been enough.
“When Coach Tanaka made us choose and I picked football, that was the last time though.”
Kurt seemed to slump against Mercedes as he tightly closed his eyes and they left the room. Tina took one look around the room quickly, before letting go of Mike’s hand and following.
“It was nice, you know, while it lasted,” Artie spoke for the last time as he rolled toward the door.
“Can you. . .” Puck’s voice interrupted his departure. The boy glared at him, and he hung his head to not have to make eye contact. “I know I have no right to ask, but can you just let me know if you find her? She has this place in the park I can tell you about if you don’t.”
Mr. Shue came in just then happily beginning, “Hey guys, so today. . . what’s going? Where is everyone? Why do you all look like your dog died?”
“We just remembered that despite everything, it’s still us and them. They’re popular and we’re not, that divide will always be there,” Artie tried to explain.
“What?” Shue asked the boy’s back as he left the room. “I thought we were making progress. . .” he replied, half questioning the remaining students.
Sam answered, “Rachel’s dad was attacked and beaten. It. . .she asked who’d been part of vandalizing her house previously. I think the answer released more hurt than she expected.”
“Why are you here, Sam? Don’t you belong with them?” Santana sneered.
“I did it once, you know,” he told them. At the anger he saw come over Puck’s face, he quickly clarified, “at my last school. I helped on this boy’s house. He was kind of like Kurt, you know. The next day I saw him, standing on this bridge just staring at the rocks below. I stopped and he didn’t jump, I didn’t tell anybody though. . .and the next time it happened I wasn’t there so I felt better, I thought just not going mattered. But I wasn’t driving by the bridge at the right time either. He jumped. So no, Santana, I don’t think Rachel would want me anywhere near her.”
They tried after that. But the divide was always clear, always present at the very least in the back of their minds. Rachel would hold herself back singing with Finn, never engaged, she was pitch perfect and untouchable. They lost that magic that made them unique. So much so that at Sectionals that year, they took second. No one came back after that even though Figgins didn’t officially cancel the club. Kurt and Rachel would spend their free period in the choir room, but it was always a closed practice. Individuals made their peace. Tina and Mike stayed together for two more months, before their different peer groups became too much of a hurdle to overcome. Rachel’s dad got better, despite his scars that remained. Puck was in a weird limbo, he wasn’t part of the popular group because he turned his back on them after everything, but he wasn’t part of the losers either because he could never really identify with their experiences. Rachel talked to him though.
Santana walked into the club the afternoon it all ended and mocked a silently crying Rachel, “What now ManHands? Find out Toddler’s-R-Us is banning you for making them look bad?” She failed to notice that these sobs were quiet and the girl was barely paying attention to whether anyone was noticing, not even seeming to notice herself that the tears were falling.
“Shut up Santana,” Kurt hissed from Rachel’s side as everyone else watched. Then gentler, “She just got called that one of her father’s was found in an alley beaten with. . .words carved into him. So just Shut Up for once!”
Shock filled the room. Kurt was obviously the only one who knew why the girl was upset. Puck was the first to react and he quickly moved to her side and placed an arm over her shoulders.
“I’m so sorry, Berry,”
“It’s okay, Kurt shouldn’t have reacted like that,” she replied in a monotone.
“You’re allowed to be angry Rachel. You’re allowed to scream and cry or whatever else. You’re allowed to not be okay.”
“Why? Because it’s really no different than every other day of my life. Only today instead of carving their hate in cars or painting it on our garage, they carved it into skin, and used the blood as paint, but truly it’s just another day with two dads.”
He couldn’t find a way to answer her so he merely pulled her tightly into his side. Suddenly she was looking up at him, “Were you. . .did you ever. . .?”she asked naively.
“I. . .” he began then wished like never before he could lie to her, that he would be able to pull it off. “Rach,” he started softly.
Horror covered her face as she jerked away. “Noah?” she questioned.
“I don’t think. . .” he tried to tell her.
She moved further away, “Yes or no.”
When he only looked at her sadly, she moved to stand, “How many of you have done it? Mike? Finn? Sam?” She asked horror stricken. No one met her eyes as she frantically looked around, “Fine we’ll start easy. Mike. Yes or no,” she questioned looking only at Noah. Mike seemed to recognize the question wasn’t for him to answer.
Noah clenched eyes was the only response, before she shrilly demanded, “Yes or no.”
“Yes,” he admitted hanging his head between his knees.
Hearing it obviously threw her because she stumbled and then picked, “Matt.” Someone who would obviously hurt less.
“No,” he told her.
“Finn.”
“I. . .” the stupid boy started to answer when Puck was silent a moment to long, he stopped when Rachel’s glare turned to him. Santana also covered his mouth to prevent whatever he’d been about to attempt to say to be released aware that this was only partly about them.
“Rachel,” Noah breathed brokenly when Rachel again demanded yes or no.
“Fine,” she said and everyone felt like they could breathe after holding their breaths for too long, but Noah knew she wasn’t done. The jocks and Cheerios were all looking at the floor careful not to look at Rachel or each other. Some happy in the respite, her seemingly relenting had provided.
“Santana,” she immediately continued.
“Yes,” he said resigned.
“Brittany.”
“No.”
“Quinn,” the rapid fire continued.
Noah spared a glance at the other girl, before answering, “Yes.”
“Finn.”
“Yes,” he admitted no longer trying to stop the inevitable, but still it was as though the simple word was ripped from him.
“Puck,” she spit out in distate.
He flinched but admitted “Yes,” and then seemed to collapse in on himself.
She too seemed a bit more broken and quickly turned on her heel at his admission, she was stopped before she could leave.
“DON’T TOUCH ME,” she cried jerking her elbow from Finn’s grasp.
“I’m sorry, but I never came up with the idea or you know suggested it,” he stumbled pathetically over words. Attempting the excuses the others had known not to try.
“You could have done something,” she told him and they all were surprised at how devoid of emotion she was. For the first time looking at her when she looked at this boy all they saw was desolation, “You follow and call it leading. But what good does that do?”
“Matt tried and it didn’t work,” he tried to argue.
The other boy answered, “No, he just never showed up. And we never invited Brittany-we didn’t want to ‘spoil’ her. Which just proves we knew it was wrong.” Finally he looked up at Finn as near to tears as they had ever seen him, “We could have stopped it. You and I, Quinn and San. If we’d spoken up- head cheerleader and the quarterback it would have deterred at least a few people.”
“Puck!” Finn denied what he was trying to say immediately.
“You met my fathers,” Rachel said looking at him searchingly. “Did you. . .were you thinking, wondering how it made them feel or where you trying to decide how’d it feel to hurt them? Hurt them where they’d see your face?” She looked at the remaining people searchingly. “What about you? What would you have done if you’d been asked Tina? Or Artie? You, Mercedes? You haven’t been here long, Sam would you?”
She walked out then, leaving them all speechless for a couple of minutes that felt like hours. No one could find the right apology to make, or the right way or even desire to comfort any of the accused. Eventually it was again Puck who spoke, “Mercedes or Kurt or Tina or Artie needs to go after her.”
Kurt moved for the door, while holding tightly to Mercedes hand as he walked seemingly requiring her strength as he stumbled along far from his usual grace. He turned though, and looked at the club he once thought of as family. He was paler than they’d ever seen, when he asked, “What about since Glee? Have you. . .done it since Glee? Have any of you harassed my father even?” He waited with Mercedes tightly hugging him.
“Have you?” Tina asked quietly looking at Mike. He quickly shook his head.
“He never came much,” Puck spoke once again seemingly unable to be silent today.
This immediately turned their searching gaze to him, and he seemed to understand the question, “Not since the week I . . .not since Rachel.”
Kurt nodded and then looked at the only other person in the room who’s answer really mattered, not feeling like he had the strength to hear everyone else’s answer. “Finn,” he called when the boy avoided his gaze.
“I. . . not for awhile.”
“When?” Mercedes demanded at his side. Knowing the boy’s answer hadn’t been enough.
“When Coach Tanaka made us choose and I picked football, that was the last time though.”
Kurt seemed to slump against Mercedes as he tightly closed his eyes and they left the room. Tina took one look around the room quickly, before letting go of Mike’s hand and following.
“It was nice, you know, while it lasted,” Artie spoke for the last time as he rolled toward the door.
“Can you. . .” Puck’s voice interrupted his departure. The boy glared at him, and he hung his head to not have to make eye contact. “I know I have no right to ask, but can you just let me know if you find her? She has this place in the park I can tell you about if you don’t.”
Mr. Shue came in just then happily beginning, “Hey guys, so today. . . what’s going? Where is everyone? Why do you all look like your dog died?”
“We just remembered that despite everything, it’s still us and them. They’re popular and we’re not, that divide will always be there,” Artie tried to explain.
“What?” Shue asked the boy’s back as he left the room. “I thought we were making progress. . .” he replied, half questioning the remaining students.
Sam answered, “Rachel’s dad was attacked and beaten. It. . .she asked who’d been part of vandalizing her house previously. I think the answer released more hurt than she expected.”
“Why are you here, Sam? Don’t you belong with them?” Santana sneered.
“I did it once, you know,” he told them. At the anger he saw come over Puck’s face, he quickly clarified, “at my last school. I helped on this boy’s house. He was kind of like Kurt, you know. The next day I saw him, standing on this bridge just staring at the rocks below. I stopped and he didn’t jump, I didn’t tell anybody though. . .and the next time it happened I wasn’t there so I felt better, I thought just not going mattered. But I wasn’t driving by the bridge at the right time either. He jumped. So no, Santana, I don’t think Rachel would want me anywhere near her.”
They tried after that. But the divide was always clear, always present at the very least in the back of their minds. Rachel would hold herself back singing with Finn, never engaged, she was pitch perfect and untouchable. They lost that magic that made them unique. So much so that at Sectionals that year, they took second. No one came back after that even though Figgins didn’t officially cancel the club. Kurt and Rachel would spend their free period in the choir room, but it was always a closed practice. Individuals made their peace. Tina and Mike stayed together for two more months, before their different peer groups became too much of a hurdle to overcome. Rachel’s dad got better, despite his scars that remained. Puck was in a weird limbo, he wasn’t part of the popular group because he turned his back on them after everything, but he wasn’t part of the losers either because he could never really identify with their experiences. Rachel talked to him though.