Comments | cameraman23: How could it possibly be seven in the morning already?

cameraman23

How could it possibly be seven in the morning already?

Dec 29, 2006 06:29

I worry (too much?). (Everyone worries ( Read more... )

Comments 5

flyingover April 30 2007, 19:39:10 UTC

(oh, good, well, i'm going to keep talking. i miss you and i feel like you gave me the right to talk to you ( ... )

flyingover April 30 2007, 19:39:33 UTC

on the other hand the world is crazy and you're right not to trust it and you're right that you can't make a long-term plan and be sure of it. but if you're anything like me you can't help but make long-term plans anyway. it's just a matter of coming to peace with the knowledge that it's your plan right now, and it may change, and if it does then you'll have at least had this structure in place that guided you through accomplishing certain steps, which perhaps you could then take in a new direction. this seems like an overly simple answer, like how you identify with Ringling and how you both need The Answer, need a relationship, can't handle the liminal. but that's so life-denying! Life is the fragile! Fate is total weight, you have no options and cannot be blamed nor praised for your own life. Chaos is total lightness, you have no control and cannot be blamed nor praised for your own life. The only way to self-define is to move in the liminal space between the two. acknowledge your need for weight: make plans. but acknowledge your ( ... )

flyingover April 30 2007, 19:41:09 UTC

ps - i had wanted to talk to you so much, and you seemed to have distanced yourself. why? if you'd just stayed with me and zeke there we would have loved to talk to you. was it us?

cameraman23 May 1 2007, 12:23:09 UTC

I felt left out because you and Zeke still communicate so well (in symbols other than ones I understand), and so, feeling that distance, I further distanced myself.

But that was so long ago, I really have no idea.

flyingover May 1 2007, 21:06:26 UTC

i just learned a word for self-destructive behavior and i tried to search for it in gmail but what came up was an exchange between us from september. it's funny how many of the same issues came up in our conversation then. in our conversations always. and me saying I'm sorry for talking to you so much, which I've been doing every time i talk to you for the last six years. Point being, I wanted to talk to you. I was saddened that you refused. And in reality, you refused because you felt left out-- and you felt left out because you don't talk to us. which is funny just because if you give me the slightest justification for doing so i will talk and talk to you until i just really feel like you're ignoring me and i'm embarrassing myself ( ... )