The Perfect Weapon Chapter 2010: Part 4 Section 1 of 2
Chapter 2010: Part 4 section 1 of 2
“Does she have any idea?” Dave asked, as he opened a bag of potato chips. He settled back into the deck chair with a happy sigh as he looked toward the ocean before him extending as far as he could see. And further, he knew. The blue just kept going. Blue, not tan dirt or the greys and blacks and browns of the cave. “Because I can’t believe you’ve kept it from her for this long-“
“I know how to keep a secret,” Jack argued, putting a beer down on the small table next to Dave.
“Well, yeah. But it’s a good thing you’re doing the deed tonight, because she was growing a little too curious about our supposed midnight conversations in your office.”
“Oh?” Jack asked absently as he looked down at a mark on his hands. It was damn lucky Irina hadn’t noticed that. But did he have everything he needed--
“Yeah. I had to tell her we were having an illicit affair to-“
“What?” Jack laughed. “Sorry. I was thinking.”
“Don’t over-plan it this time.”
Jack smiled ruefully. “You’re right.”
“I’m always right,” Dave answered automatically. “So what’s the story?”
“I told her we were going to look at the new house. It’s not that far away.”
Dave stuck a chip in his mouth and chewed slowly. Catching the look on Jack’s face, he began to chew a little faster. “Hey, speaking of far away... Sydney and Vaughn. Where are-“
“Sydney’s coming over here to give her mother a prop she feels is absolutely essential.” Jack shrugged. What prop she had decided was absolutely essential after he’d told her that story, he’d never know. But if it made her happy, it was fine with him.
“Some girl thing?” Dave nodded as he ate another chip.
“Yeah, I guess-What is it?” Jack asked as he caught the smile on Dave’s face.
“It’s...It’s just so good to see you this way. Relaxed. Talking as if you’re no longer strangled by the need to demonstrate control-“
“What? Are you talking about...before? After I..”
“Say it.” Dave took another chip from the bag and smiled. If Irina caught him eating out of the bag instead of a bowl, she’d be so ticked. For an international terrorist, she could be such a fussbudget.
“After I had my breakdown.”
“Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about. Jack...” Dave shifted in his seat.
“You’re tired,” Jack noted immediately, his eyes sliding to a point behind Dave. He smiled. “Or do you need a pain pill?”
“No. I’m fine.” Dave picked up the bottle of beer. “And I don’t want to be out of it when Vaughn comes to take over the babysitting shift.” He grimaced.
Jack raised his voice slightly as his eyes met Dave’s. “If you wouldn’t insist on trying to use that home gym when you shouldn’t-“
Dave nodded and picked up the bag of chips again. “I need to get back in shape-“
“You need to get back in shape without killing yourself!” Jack blew out an exasperated breath. “You were upset earlier because you were too tired to see Sark and-“
“And I came home and slept for three hours!”
Slam
Irina slammed open the sliding doors to the deck and then slammed a bowl into Dave’s midsection. “Use a damn bowl. You know that drives me crazy.” She grabbed the bag and upended the contents in the bowl.
“Are you having PMS or are you just mad because that door doesn’t squeak?” Dave teased, as they all remembered another day, another bag of chips and a bowl and another door.
“PMS? I don’t have PMS. I’ve never had PMS and-“
“Honey...” Jack slid his hands around Irina’s hips, then up under her shirt to caress her waist. “Have I mentioned to you how glad I am that you’re here to keep us from...” He kissed her neck, then slid his mouth up to her ear. He lightly bit the lobe, licked it, then bit it again. He smiled when he felt the ripple of a shiver of arousal in the taut muscles under his hands and she raised her arms to encircle his shoulders. He rubbed her waist. When was she going to wear that chain again?
“From?” Irina lifted heavy eyes to her husband’s...oh great. His amused face.
“From the horrors of eating chips without a bowl or...wait! Look!” Jack pointed toward the bottle on the table. “I forgot to give Dave a coaster!”
“Jack...” Irina slapped her husband’s arm. She hid her smile in the hopes that the two men would continue. It was like coming home every time they teased her as they had done in the past.
“Oh no!” Dave put his hand over his heart. “Is she going to have to punish you?”
“Daaave...” Irina put a hand on her hip, while keeping the other on her husband’s shoulder.
“I live in hope.” Jack winked. “I really and I do mean really-“
“Really is such a common word, Jack.” Dave shook his head. “Surely, you - the walking thesaurus - can use, I mean utilize, which is a far better word since it’s polysyllabic, far more descriptive words than really.”
“I could. Hmm.” Jack pretended to think about it as his fingers brushed his wife’s skin. If they didn’t have a security detail on the house, he’d send Dave inside and... No. He had plans. He could wait. But then again, it wasn’t as if they could only do it once and-“
“Jack...” Irina laughed softly as she leaned against him and felt his growing arousal.
“Oh. I was supposed to be coming up with a word...” Jack grinned and pulled Irina against him.
Dave rolled his eyes. “Why do I have a feeling it wasn’t a word that was coming up?”
Irina sniffed to cover her laughter. “Luckily, I do not get distracted from word games-“
“Yeah, because you’re hoping that will just drive Jack that much more crazy about you,” Dave teased.
“Shut up.” Irina dug her fingers into Jack’s shoulders. “Yes. The word game. Synonyms for really. How about utterly, completely and truly?”
Jack’s hand made little circles on the bare skin of Irina’s waist as he asked, “Utterly, completely and truly? Are you talking about how much I love you?”
“Oh...” Irina smiled and leaned against her husband to nuzzle into his neck. She whispered, “Sweetie.”
“What’s that, Lorena? Did you just call him an idiot?” Dave asked in an arch tone. Sweetie, indeed. She was the same and yet different. More open now, he thought, as he watched the two of them. More confident in showing her emotions, less tense, less afraid. All good changes.
“Idiot, sweetie - what’s the difference?” Irina kissed Jack's neck and then pulled back to look up at him. “Now what was that you were saying before? About living in hope, Jack?”
“Oh yes. I was saying that I really, utterly, completely and truly enjoyed how she punished me for the manual and I live in hope of being punished again.”
“Oh, don’t worry.” Irina walked her fingers down from Jack’s shoulder, over his chest and torso, until she hooked her hand inside the waistband of his jeans and hauled him close. “Your punishment is far from over. Remember? I get to punish you for each and every time you asked me what I wanted. And given that you asked me that thousands of times, I may never be done punishing you.”
“A terrible fate, to be sure. What do you want now?” Jack asked. “Oh no. Did I just add one more torture to my sentence?”
Irina shook her head, before kissing Jack’s cheek. “I suppose I want to go inside and devise your latest punishment.”
Dave sighed. “I’m envious. When will I find a woman who will plan to punish me with such anticipation?”
Irina smiled and took a step toward him. “Oh, I can do that for you-“
Dave looked up in mock horror. “Um, I really don’t-“
Slap
“Ouch!” Dave complained, rubbing the side of his head, where Irina had hit him.
“That’s the kind of punishment you get.” Irina nodded with satisfaction. She’d been dying to do that forever and now that he was so much better, she could.
“Well, I guess it’s better than being shot in the shoulder...” Dave taunted.
“Aaaagh!” Irina glowered at Dave and walked inside, slamming the door behind her.
“Well, that got rid of her.” Jack nodded approvingly.
“I have my uses.” Dave grinned up at Jack. “So the game plan tonight-“
“Okay. When Sydney leaves to go back home and wait for us-“
“Since Vaughn doesn’t want to be there for the squeals-“
“I really doubt that Sydney would appreciate being known for squealing.”
“Yeah, whatever. But since Vaughn doesn’t want to be there, babysitting me gives him an excuse to not be there.”
“Well, it’s not as though he wants to be with Weiss and Susan, helping. I can assure you of that.” Jack looked at his watch, then out the window, gauging the length of time until sunset. “What did you say to him this afternoon, when we left you two at the lunch table?”
Dave shrugged. “Not much. I just told him he only has two choices. Stay or go.”
“And that he’s running out of time?” Jack looked up as he heard the security system ping at him. He craned his neck. Sydney was here.
“I thought I’d allow you to have the honor of being the timekeeper.”
“Good call. Because my daughter is not going to wait around forever.”
Irina poked her finger into the coiled circle of gold. Was it time or...
“Mom?” Sydney asked, peering around the open bedroom door.
“Oh...” Irina stepped back from the bureau with a guilty look on her face.
Sydney’s eyes went to the small wooden box. The chain. She hid a smile. “What are you up to?”
“Nothing...” Irina closed the box and turned. “I didn’t know you were coming over tonight. Why are you here?”
“Oh, Dad wants me to babysit Uncle Dave while you two go over to the house. To make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”
“Good luck.” Irina rolled her eyes. “He’s in a very stupid mood tonight.”
“And I wanted to bring you something. Well, a couple of things.” Sydney held up a bag, then reached inside and took out a book. When Irina made no move to take it, Sydney opened the cover. “See? I thought you might like to have this book.”
“How did you get this?” Irina asked slowly. She lifted her hand slowly and touched the words Jack had written so long ago.
“Dad kept them. The books he picked up for you when you were married before.” Sydney watched her mother’s eyes go from the inscription to the ring finger on her left hand.
“He did? He never said...” Irina shook her head, confused. Would she ever understand that puzzlebox of his mind? “Why did he keep them? He said he burnt-“
“He did burn a lot of stuff. But he kept the books.”
“But he must have known...”
“About the codes?” Sydney nodded. “He kept them for me. Because of my love for reading and because of who you, who Laura was - “
“I’m Laura, Sydney. Part of me, a large part of me then was Laura.” Irina gripped the book in tight fingers. She should tell Sydney. She needed to be more open with her in order to connect. She looked into the mirror over the bureau and frowned.
“I know. Judy said...that Laura was you then, but that everyone changes over time, so that the Laura you were would have changed even if you’d stayed with us.” Sydney watched Irina closely. She seemed as if she were searching tonight.
Irina blinked. “She’s right. I’m not the same person I would have been if I’d stayed, but I - like your father and Dave... and everyone changes over time. And well," she summed it up. "Irina works for me now.”
“I know. But I’d like to talk about this book,” Sydney said firmly, tapping the book with her fingernail. When Irina nodded, Sydney went on. “And why Dad saved it. I was saying that he kept it because of my love for reading and because I always talked about being a teacher. He thought it was a connection I should have with you.”
“Ah. Of course. For your sake.” Irina nodded. “He’s been an imperfect father, but he’s a good man, you know.”
Sydney smiled. “I know. I’ve let our past go. It’s time to move on. And actually....reading that inscription helped me to learn that he was a good man. It helped open my eyes to a hidden truth.”
“Which is?” Irina asked curiously.
“He was capable of love. Deep love.”
“Is capable. Present tense, sweetheart.”
“Oh, I know.” Sydney smiled, perhaps a little too broadly. Seeing her mother’s eyes narrow, Sydney spoke quickly. “That inscription is lovely. ‘All my love, forever and a-‘“
“I know what it says,” Irina snapped. She snapped the book closed, but held on to it.
“It’s from As You Like It.”
“I don’t like- excuse me?”
“The quotation. ‘For ever and a day.’ It’s from As You Like It. Act Four, scene 1.” She could play the quotations game too, Sydney thought smugly. Until her mother corrected her.
“No. It’s from the first time we made love,” Irina said in a voice so low that Sydney had to strain to hear it. “He said that to me.” She put the book down carefully on the bureau.
“And what did you say to him?” Sydney whispered back. Her father had told her the story of their engagement but it didn’t surprise her that he hadn’t told her this particular story.
“I said, ‘I will always love you.’”
When Irina said nothing more, Sydney frowned. She wanted to understand, needed to understand, had promised her father she would work on understanding her mother. But how could she do that when her mother wasn't telling? Was it time for some misdirection? “I Will Always Love You was a song from the 1980s. Taylor Dane was the artist. I always remembered her name because it was different, like mine, somewhat ... masculine at the time.” Sydney smiled to show her mother that she meant nothing pejorative by that. When she was younger, she hadn’t liked her name, but finding out the origins of it - even if it was a mailbox - had changed her perspective.
“A song?” Irina smiled in relief at the change of subject. “Oh. Did you dance to it at your prom? When you wore that purple dress? With the...things on the shoulders...” Irina fluttered her hands at her shoulders imitating Jack’s attempt to describe the dress. Both women laughed.
“I may have.” Sydney nodded. “It’s a great slow dance song.”
“Is it? Maybe some day your father and I will have a chance to dance again. He’s a great dancer.” Irina touched the necklace of three diamonds she was wearing with a secretive smile. Much better to remember that night, than -
“So...he said he would love you forever and a day and you said you would always love him?” Sydney pressed, sensing her mother was trying to evade the book, the inscription and something else, as well.
“I believe that was an indirect hit.” Irina smiled wryly. Sydney had ascertained her mother’s evasive techniques and at Judy’s urging, had promised to keep her on the straight and narrow when she strayed. She didn’t fail too often, but as everyone kept pointing out with annoying regularity, no one was perfect. “I know that sounds trite when you hear someone else talking about saying it, but-“
“But when someone says it to you, it means everything. I’m sure it meant a lot to Dad.”
“I’m sure he would have rather have had those words in his wedding band than what I did have inscribed,” Irina noted wryly. Her eyes went to the book.
“Wait. Forever and a day...Am I right in remembering that those words were in your wedding band?” Sydney touched her temple as a vague memory of her mother showing her the ring tickled the back of her mind. She dropped her hand. Those little snippets of memories neither scared nor hurt her any longer.
Irina touched her bare ring finger. Jack had urged her to talk to Sydney as she had that night at the mailbox. He had urged her to allow Sydney to see her uncertainty as well as her confidence, not that she had evinced very much of the latter recently. “Yes, they were. And I stupidly...flushed away those rings as stupidly as I flushed away the day.”
“I don’t understand. Wait. Why did you use the word flush?”
“The night I left the United States, I was flying back to the Soviet Union and my handler, Cuvee - you recall him?”
“I do recall him being present in Kashmir, yes. You do know that Dad would love to punch him in the nose?”
“I do have that impression, yes. Cuvee was my handler then and he was concerned - no doubt due in part to my parents’ tales of their sole conversation with me-“
“What happened?”
“My mother wanted me to give up my rings, the diamonds - and have them replaced with fakes. She wanted to sell the diamonds and donate the proceeds to the Soviet cause.”
“I’m taking it you refused and Cuvee viewed that as treasonous?”
“Da. He insisted I prove my loyalty by taking off my rings and...” Irina took a deep breath. “And flushing them down the toilet on that plane. I stood there and watched them flush away. I could have sworn I saw the words...”
“Forever and a day.”
“Yes. I could have sworn I saw the words flush away from me too.”
“The memory hurts, doesn’t it?” Sydney asked softly, seeing the answer in her mother’s eyes. “You loved those rings. They were...They were a tangible symbol of your marriage to a man you truly did love.”
“Yes. And I flushed them away. Of all the moments in my life, holding those rings over that toilet and opening my hand...” Irina held out her hand, formed into a clenched fist and then opened it slowly, unable to take her eyes away from her actions. “Was one of the worst.”
Sydney grasped her mother’s cold hand in hers. She squeezed until Irina looked up. “You know...one day I had to take off the ring Danny had given me. I stuck it in the back of my jewelry box. So I didn’t have to look at it. But it was there. Still is. I’ve never forgotten that it’s there, but I didn’t know what to do with it. Selling it seems wrong, as does giving it away. Aside from my memories it’s all I have of a man I once loved. And then...the other day, I mentioned it to Dad and he suggested that he could take the diamond out and reset it in another piece, a necklace or bracelet with other stones.”
“Use that diamond as one of...” Irina nodded. “I see. Use that diamond as one of a set of gemstones in a piece, just as your time with Danny was one part of your life.”
“Exactly. You picked up on that symbolism easily.”
“Oh. I get symbolism...” Irina whispered, looking at the hidden chain. “But what’s the point of this story?”
“My point is...” Sydney squared her shoulders. “I have the ring. The man is dead and gone. You don’t have your rings. But you do have the man.”
Irina stared at Sydney and then began to laugh. “You know if Weiss were here, he’d hit his head and say...” Irina deepened her voice. “D’uh!”
Sydney burst out laughing at the incongruity of what she’d just seen. “That was hysterical.”
“I’m a good mimic.” Irina shrugged. “Mimicking, imitating - like that movie, I’d been living in an imitation of life, but now...”
“You’ve been staring into that toilet, watching your past flush away. When you need to let it go, close the lid on the toilet and move out into that plane taking you where you need to go this time.”
“It’s amazing...” Irina noted drily. “You inherit your father’s ability with analogies and liken my life to a toilet. Lovely.”
Sydney laughed. “Sorry. But...does it make sense? You do have forever, which is so much more than many people are ever granted.”
“Yes. It does make sense. I may not have forever and a day, but I do have forever. Thank you.” Irina reached out and grasped Sydney by her arms. She looked into the mirror over the bureau and saw the fear fade away from her face. Lifting her hand, she touched her own reflection. “Mirrors are...difficult. I saw the truth in Panama in a mirror. And now? I’m being immature and obsessing about what I can’t change, instead of being grateful for what I do have and focusing on what I can change, what I can do.”
Immature, Sydney wondered. What was that about? “You have a man who loves you so much... How many of us have someone who loves us like that? That he would be willing - all for love - to find forever for you?” Sydney blinked away sudden tears. Irina pulled Sydney into a sudden and fierce embrace. Sydney allowed the tears for a moment, then stood up. This moment, this night was for her mother. It was not about her. “He forgave you for things that...Mom. If I can be honest. He forgave you and is willing to move forward and trust you, even when you caused so much pain. Because he loves you so much. He loves you forever. That’s...that’s everything you could want or need. I’d reach out with both hands and grab it.”
“You’re right.” Irina nodded at herself in the mirror before her eyes slid back down to the box. She slid her hand over the top of it. “I’m once again being immature. I...think that’s because there’s still a little girl inside me watching her parents drive away.”
“Oh.” Sydney nodded, once again wondering where this conversation was heading. “You mentioned that in one session. I...guess I should have been paying more attention.”
Irina nodded and looked from the book to the box. “Well, then...I drove away myself, not counting the cost. And twenty years? That’s...I think, from what Dave and Judy have both said, you and I don’t really grasp the hell your father went through.”
Sydney nodded and curled her fingers into the bag she still held, her fingers numb from the grip she’d maintained as they’d negotiated their way through this mine field. “I agree. But you know what? What’s more important is that you do have a second chance. A chance to start over. The past contains some wonderful memories. Of another life. Now, you have a new life. You can build on the past, but concentrate on making new memories.”
“You, my precious little girl... When did you grow up? You are correct.” Irina looked down at her hand, gripping the box until the knuckles had turned white. She opened her hand and let go.
Sydney dropped the bag as she saw the swift changes in her mother’s face. From fear to concern to acceptance to happiness. She looked into her eyes. Happiness without the shadows she’d seen for so long. What perfect timing. She bent down and picked up the bag. “Oh, I almost forgot...I did bring over something else for you. Here, Mom.” Sydney handed her mother the small bag within the larger one. “I bought these in the wrong size. They’re not returnable and I thought you’d like them.”
“Thank you, sweetheart,” Irina said automatically as she opened the bag. “Lingerie?” She pulled out a minuscule pair of black lace panties and looked up curiously. “From shopping with you, I know that these are my style, but not yours.”
“I thought that I’d take your advice and...expand my clothing horizons. But I must not be ready since I bought them in your size, not mine. A Freudian slip, Dave would call it.”
“A Freudian set of panties. Hmm.” She smiled at her daughter. Her daughter. Her beautiful, intelligent, caring daughter. She was lucky. Now, she just needed some grandchildren. “Can you do me a favor?”
“Of course. What is it?”
“Take a picture?” Irina asked as she went over to the bureau and pulled out a camera.
Sydney began to giggle. “Is this way too much information again?”
“Why?” Irina asked as she went over to the bedroom door, closed and locked it.
“Well...do I really want to know why you have a camera in the bureau in your bedroom?”
Irina smiled. “I live in hope of replacing certain lost photographs in my portfolio, sweetheart.” She handed her the camera and began to pull off her shirt. “Now, here’s what I need you to do...”
“Sweetheart...” Irina said as they went down the stairs. “Thank you for taking the pictures and for talking to me. I needed to hear someone say that I have forever. I’ve been obsessing about what I gave up, what I did in the past and I needed to look forward. Your father’s been...”
“He’s been worried about you,” Sydney confided.
“Yes. He’s been...and Dave, I think, they’ve been trying to provoke me.”
Sydney grinned. Yes, they had been trying to provoke her mother. “Have they succeeded?”
“I slammed a ceramic bowl into Dave’s midsection tonight hard enough to do internal damage.”
“Oh well, that’s good. I’ve felt like doing that a time or two to Weiss.”
“Do it. It’s cathartic.” Irina smiled. "Violence often is. Especially when it's directed to the men in our lives."
"Mom!" Sydney laughed.
“Hey, Jack.” Dave rubbed his stomach. “Do you think she’s...”
“I think she’s found her way now. Going to that house, telling Sydney about the mailbox and that street, having you out of the hospital, being a lead player in the bid to take down Arvin...”
“Closure and confidence.”
“Yes. Now, if she would just wear that-“
“Chain?” Dave burst out laughing. “You know, speaking as a therapeutic professional, may I inform you that your fixation on that borders on a fetish?”
“It’s not a fetish,” Jack protested with a grin as Irina opened the door.
“What’s not a fetish? Your fixation on my chain?” Irina smiled back.
“Ha!” Dave nodded at Irina. “That’s what I was just telling him.”
“It’s not a fetish,” Jack repeated. “I only like the chain when it’s on you. If it were a fetish, I’d wrap it around my-“ He stopped when he realized that Sydney was behind her mother. He put his hand to his cheek, feeling the heat in it. Great. He was probably bright red.
“Stop it.” Sydney implored as she began to step through the door. “No one needs to hear their father talking about a fetish or wrapping anything around anything.” She shuddered.
Irina leaned toward Jack and whispered into his ear, “I however would very much like to see you wrap the chain around your-“
“Mom!” Sydney yelled. “I can read lips!”
“Then close your eyes.”
“Okay, Princess, help me up and we can go inside and leave them to it-“ Dave asked.
“No, we’re on our way,” Irina told him. “We’re going over to the house. Sydney, Dave, do you want to come?”
“No, not this time,” Sydney responded as Dave shook his head. They followed them, Irina thought, strangely to the car.
Dave and Sydney waved from the door to the garage. Dave called out, “Have fun storming the castle!”
Irina burst out laughing. “Princess Bride!” she called out, before rolling up her window. “Let’s go, Jack.”
Jack touched Irina’s cheek, then sifted his hand through her hair. Leaning over, he kissed her softly on the lips and whispered, “As you wish.”
TBC at