The Perfect Weapon Chapter 13 part 2 section 4 of 6

[camillecarelli]

"I didn't say I had it. I mean, do you see it anywhere? I really can't hide anything at this point." He lifted one hand to brush it along his body. "See the chain anywhere?"

"Your ability to hide whatever you want to hide, like.... those fears of yours, is exceeded only by-"

"My inability to hide what I need. I need you. As you can tell," he said, with a nod toward in the direction of his lap. "Come here."

She suddenly had a thought and turned around and reached down to the floor. She stopped mid-motion, when his hands cupped her buttocks. "I know you like this position, but all you had to do was ask," he said softly. Pushing her legs apart, he reached one hand around the front to play with her and the other slid into her from the back.

"I was...oh...." she slammed both hands on the lip of the tub, closed her eyes. Opened them in a heartbeat when she felt the foaming water touch and tease her nipples. This was too much. Or maybe...if she just kept quiet, he'd keep going and she could finally...Her eyes opened and she smiled. Good plan, just keep quiet. Looking down, she remembered her original plan. That pack.

"So honey, what do you want? Most? Do you want to come right now or do you want to look in that pack? "

"How-!" Her legs trembled. Just don't stop, Jack. Talk all you want, but keep moving those long fingers....those talented fingers....She glanced down, wanting to see.

"I'm not the one afraid of mirrors tonight." He watched her face, watched her eyes dart between his pack on the floor and his hands between her legs.

"Mirrors?" She choked out. "Who cares about mirrors? I just want to see...." She lowered her head and looked fully down her body, watching his hands between her legs. How hands so large and strong could weave such a delicate pattern was something she had understood, as a sign of not only expertise but caring, only far too late. "How did you know, see---"

"See the pack? I can see your face in the mirror," he said calmly. "Quite illuminating. I was wondering, watching you, would looking in that pack make you come? Probably not, there's no Rambaldi artifact in the pack, is there?"

She bared her teeth at him.

"Want to bite me? Hmm. I see the appeal too. I see something worth biting..." he said and to her shock, bent forward and bit the curve of her buttock, one side and then the other, then ran a tongue along each bite.

She whimpered. "Bite me a--" She needed him to be just as frantic as she was, just as---willing to shut up! She groaned to herself as he began speaking again. If it weren't in her best interests to have his mouth on her skin, she would have gagged him long ago. Maybe she needed to just keep her mouth on his....

"Or would the best possible option c be to look in that pack while you are coming? Would that make your day? Satisfy your every desire, for the game and for what I can give you in our own little game? The perfect doubleplay?" And his fingers pressed just the tiniest bit harder, making her gasp, making her hips rock back and forth. Just when she was right there at the edge, he offered, "Sorry, that's just a little too...kinky for me. Having my wife get off on groping my toiletries looking for a camera or a chain while I'm groping her? No thanks. I'd rather wait. So, go ahead, look in the pack. After all, we have all the time in the world, don't we?"TICK, TICK He began moving his fingers just a little faster.

She closed her eyes, gripped the edge of the tub so hard her knuckles turned white. Looking down, breathing heavily, she muttered, "If you're offering to let me look in the pack, then that must mean there's nothing in there. Unless...you know I would think that, so offering to let me look in there and having me turn you down--"

"Which would be a first," he said dryly, as one hand passed up over her body, circling her waist for a moment, stroking side to side, then moving to her breasts, the nipples so distended from the teasing water that she wanted to scream just from the lightest touch from the tip of one finger.

She gulped, he was playing some game with the pack...."So if I turned down the offer to look in the pack, it would be a way to protect the pack and put the ball in my court, make me think I had control when I really didn't, so the best course of action would be--"

He rolled his eyes. "To shut up. You're giving me a headache. Just look in the damn pack." And he bit her butt one last time, rubbed her waist with his fingertips and withdrew from her. Sitting back, leaning on his elbows, throwing the muscles of his chest into sharp relief, he just looked at her and waited. She looked over her shoulder at him, stopped for a moment to take a picture in her mind's eye, framing the shot for the camera she was sure was in there and then reached down for the pack. Or more importantly, feeling the memory of his hands around her wait, where was the chain, the chain, the chain....Where was it! As she looked through it, he said casually, "Go ahead. Take all the time you want. I have other...things I can do," he added, the tone of his voice warning her. She turned her head around and watched him put his hands on his body and slowly brought them down to his groin. She dropped the pack. There was nothing in it of interest anyway, not even the camera, which was really too bad. To say nothing of the chain. When she finally found it...she was going to wrap it around his neck. No, that would be a waste, she thought with a smile that bordered, he thought watching her, on feline. No, she could think of something else she would wrap it around. Now, that would be a picture for her portfolio.

"Too, too bad the camera's not in there," she rasped out, standing there, still looking over her shoulder, too caught in what she saw to move, trying to use the power of words herself, "You look good enough to eat. And I am..."

"You are hungry? Well, I'm more than ready and willing to fill you up. Keep filling you up until you're completely satisfied, every desire fulfilled." He lifted his hips in her direction and she could not have moved her body, changed her gaze, she thought, for any power on this earth. She was so hungry. "But, we don't have a lot of time, so if you don't hurry, I just might...ah, yessss, that's it...just keep bent over like that, that view is helping, really, honey, it's helping bring the situation to a...head."

Her mouth dropped open, hearing his words, feeling the vibration of his voice, watching him. He smiled, "Unless you're planning on using that mouth underwater in the next few minutes, you might want to close those rosy lips of yours. And open the other pair."

How did he think of these comments? She didn't even know what language they were speaking anymore. "Come here. Now."

Her eyes narrowed. "Some day, Jack Bristow, you will pay."

"I live in hope," he murmured, looking down at his hands stroking himself. Looking back up, never allowing his hands to falter, he watched her lick her lips, watched her hands clench and open, clench and open. "Come here. Why are you waiting? You know you want to. I want you to. Why deny ourselves what we want for some foolish pride? Or was it stub-!" he broke off as she turned in a flash, straddled his legs and pushing his hands aside, sank down on top of him.

He shifted his legs, moving his feet back, so that his thighs tilted upward, forcing her to catch herself with her hands on his shoulders as he began thrusting upward into her softness for the first time, god, it felt like, for the first time in forever. She had felt so empty every time he left her body, she needed.... He caught her around the waist as she pushed back, wanting to see his face. She jumped when his hands slid around her ribs, pulled her up and his mouth swiftly fastened on one breast and began suckling, then moved to the other. Giving them each a kiss and a tiny little nip, could he not just bite her, she wanted to scream at him. He knew what she wanted, what the hell was he doing? They didn't have time for one of these endless games of his that could go on for hours.

"I really haven't paid enough attention to your nipples this morning, have I?" he asked casually, flicking his thumbs across them. Her eyes widened. "And that's a shame, because I always loved them. I'll need to make up for lost opportunities, won't I? I can't neglect them, I need to give them what you deserve, what they deserve for being so responsive to me. They are lovely, lovely little nipples with hard little points, just like this one...." he added, moving one hand slowly down her body, sliding down and inward, and flicking his nail, then pressing his thumb on her. She wiggled, trying to created friction, trying to free herself. "So hungry for me, aren't they? Tell me..." he leaned forward and slowly licked one as she held her breath, "Is the hunger an ache or a burn?"

"Ache..." she whispered as she arched her back, trying to push her nipple more fully into his mouth.

He shook his head, "Hmm. That's really too bad. For you. Because that's not good enough. I want them to burn, just like you do down here..." he said softly, flicking a nail across the other hard little point that was just....he was right, just this side of burning.

"Jack, come on, it feels like it's on fire...."

"That's almost good enough. But it's not everything. I want everything. I want everything that is in you just burning...." and he thrust upward. She tightened her legs around his, pushed down on him, trying to push herself over the edge at this point. If he wouldn't--

"Like the day I gave you the charms...remember that? Remember them? The monograms?"

She laughed throatily, "Like either of us would ever forget that day, that night....How many times..." She stopped laughing abruptly as he pinched her, then began rubbing harder than he had before. She let her eyes drop closed, rested her head on his shoulder, whispered, "How many times did you call out my name that night?"

"Did you like that? Surprising me like that?" She nodded against his shoulder, grinned, remembering. Turning his head, he kissed her cheek, asked, "Was it ever confusing for you....Did you ever feel like telling me, 'Call out Irina when you come!'" 
She turned her face to him and pursed her lips. He took her mouth in a gentle kiss, even as his hands grew more and more aggressive. She gasped lightly, "Oh!" He pressed again, inside and without, his hardness within massaging her as his finger in front rubbed and rubbed, and his other hand squeezed her buttocks. "Oh...Jack. Soon....I..."

"Tell me..." he urged with his voice, his hands, his body.

"Tell...Oh, my name? No, not after the beginning. I was Laura with you. It felt right. Always felt right."

"Always.....Forever....Was nineteen years ago the only time you've used that alias?" He asked as he palmed her buttocks with one large hand and pulled her closer to him.

Finally, finally, she thought to herself and began moving against him. Feeling him inside her, loving her, she thought he seemed merely curious. Not angry, not derisive over her mistakes, the way her parents had been---No. Don't think of that. They're irrelevant. She raised her head and looped her arms around his neck and pulled him toward her. Kissing him, needing him, needing the connection with him, he was the only one, she sighed, who had ever cared for her like this....She reluctantly released his lips, then darted back to kiss him one last time before commenting, "It's not an alias. That name belongs to me. You belong to me. Moya." Her word trailed off as he tilted his head, looking into her eyes, then smiled and gave her a gentle kiss. She noted with confusion that as urgent as her body was, as much as it wanted to just let go...she did not want it to end, even though that Tick, TICK, TICK was growing ever harder to ignore. Pushing it down, she pursued his mouth, his lips, his tongue more aggressively, she did not want to hear that damn clock. When she finally ended the kiss, she asked against his lips, "How did you know, guess that I tried to contact you nineteen years ago?"

"Task force files had an oblique reference in an addendum to chatter in the community about someone using Laura Bristow as an alias. I forgot - I...had a lot on my mind at the time I read those files not so long ago, after Sydney figured out that you were alive. But a few minutes ago, it occurred to me that---"

"Your photographic memory just happened to kick in now?" She asked, massaging his chest with her hands.

"Well, as you may have forgotten, sex -- with you -- always sharpened my focus." He pushed himself inside her, even deeper. How deep could he go, she wondered, staring at him as he spoke reminiscently, "Remember those times I'd get up from bed and go into my office, totally pissing you off until we began working together?" 
"Mmm." She licked his neck and nibbled on it, he had such a great neck, made just for this, for her..."And even then you could still piss me off." She smiled, "Remember that time I got mad at you and demonstrated what else your desk could be used for?"

"Vaguely," he said with a smile in his voice. Then he asked after kissing her again, "You did know I was teasing you that night, to get you to take over, make the first move the way you like, but in those days were nervous about?"

"You what? Damn you!"

"Gotcha," he laughed, tilting his head back slightly as he did so.

She stared at his neck and then fastened her lips to one side, suckling lightly. Raising her head, she rubbed her nose against his cheek. "Oh, shut up and suck me, Jack," she said with a grin, knowing he wouldn't, but this was so much fun. Even though that ache was turning into a burn with every second that passed, every second his hardness filled her, over and over.

"All in good time, honey," he said with a return grin, running his hands lightly up and down her back.

She rolled her eyes. She recognized this mood. He was evil. Now, he wanted to chat. Resignedly, knowing she wouldn't get what she wanted until he got what he wanted, whatever the hell that was....Oh, she thought suddenly, he probably doesn't want this interlude to end either, he's just delaying....She kissed his cheek, stroked his face with her hand. Giving him what he wanted, she began to talk, "You know, I always thought it was interesting, how your mind could be so much sharper after making love, when most men just fall asleep."

"I really don't think this is the time to bring up your experiences with other men," he said sharply and stopped his movements.

"I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way," she protested quickly without thought. "Everyone knows how men, most men, are and I..I'm sorry, Jack. Don't stop."

He resumed the twist of his hips and she arched her back in satisfaction. He fastened his lips to her upper chest, nibbled on it as his hands moved gently around her waist, plucking at the skin there, then moved up around her rib cage and began creeping slowly to her breasts, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. He commented softly as he began plucking at her nipples, "You said you were sorry twice. And you said it earlier for something else. A red letter day---"

"I know! When Laura Bristow says she is sorry or that she's made a mistake. A red letter day. Why not mark it down on your PDA?" she asked snottily, snapping her head forward, closing her eyes to better savor his touch. " I saw that in your pack, anyway."

Brushing his lips against the skin at the top of the curve of each breast, he noted, kissing one, "Laura Bristow made a mistake, says she's sorry." Then moving his head, he kissed her other breast and asked, "Or Irina Derevko?"

"Does it matter?"

"You tell me. I mean, you did ask me to call you Laura tonight. You want to be Laura? Is that what you want?" Her body jerked as his tongue and lips caressed her, pushing at her, pushing her right to....She thought with what remained of her brain, enshrouded as it was in a red mist of heat and need and fear.... Please, Jack, we're running out of time for one of your little games. Can't we just be.....tick, TICK, TICK "Do you want me to call out the name Laura or Irina when I pour myself inside you this time? Which name? Your choice.""

She shook her head, her wet hair, sliding around her shoulders. "I.... I don't know. As long as I'm.... Jack, why is it that your mind was always revved up for game work after we made love?"

"Because love, sex, especially with someone like you -- my.... That is the ultimate game. I find it...inspiring." She tightened her inner muscles around him as he spoke. "Then again, so is that," he commented and shivered as she ran her nails down his chest, over his nipples. "Hmm. Is that a hint?" he asked with a smile. "Wait, let me do this for you. For me...." he murmured, as he cupped a breast in each hand, plumping them up over his fingers, the top of the nipples just peaking out over the edge of his index fingers as his thumbs stroked the inner edge of her curves. "Do you mind if I play with them for a while?"

She shook her head, licked her lips.

"Oh, no you don't. That mouth, those lips belong to me. Moya." She gasped with pleasure, hearing that word falling from his lips. He captured her mouth with his and immediately pushed his tongue in and took control. She sighed, it felt good to let someone else just take care of her for once. She tilted her head back and clutched at his arms, obsessively stroking the muscles there with her nails as his mouth nipped her chin and began to make a slow, almost torturous path down her neck. Just bite me, she would have said, but he licked the base of her neck and said, "Good of you to agree. I wasn't going to let you say no, you realize."

"It never entered my mind," she returned huskily, as his mouth descended to one breast.

He licked and nibbled on her until she forgot they were playing some game and began moaning as she felt the burn begin to flame out of control. He lifted his head. "Let's see, what game can we play?" he asked, ignoring her when she groaned, and then moaned when he began flexing his hips.

She asked, moving on him, trying to hurry him along. "Could this be a quick game, Jack, because I'm starting to get worried about the time---""

"Noted. But irrelevant. Who knows the next time we'll be alone together? I don't intend to hurry." She nodded, kissed him. She had been right. He kissed her back, whispered against her mouth, "And you'll like this game. I know you will. One of your favorites. Hide and seek."

"But I don't have my anklet with the bells..."

"You really need to learn how to improvise, be more flexible...." She arched her back and flexed her muscles as she wrapped her legs around his. He grinned. "Ah, I see your point," he noted and dropping one hand down between her legs, lightly pinched her over and over until she gasped. "Or rather I feel it," he said softly, biting her neck lightly. Bite me harder, damn it, she wanted to plead, but when he was in this mood....

Then sliding his hand back up her body, he touched her waist, circling her navel, then moved to her breasts. He adjusted and readjusted his hands, caressing her with his fingers, pinching her nipples, until he nodded and cupped them again, holding them so the nipples just were beginning to peak out over his fingers. "See, we're back where we started. You're the one wasting time, aren't you? Because I will play this game, starting from this point. Are we clear?"

"Yes," she nodded. "I...I admit I want you to be in control, want you to just take me."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You admit that?"

"I'd admit anything to just move this along, Jack, before I explode. So, let's play."

"Yes, let's." He ran his tongue only the inner edges of her breasts, nipping them with his lips. But not his teeth. She would kill him, she would, she vowed. As soon as he made her come, caught her when she fell, that is. When her skin was quivering with anticipation, he kissed his way toward the nipple of her left breast. "Mmm. So very tasty. Makes me so hungry. And so....this version of hide and seek involves, first of all, those nipples of yours that I always loved. But I'm not too happy with them right now, you know."

"Oh, why is that?" she asked eagerly. What was this game? She tried to rub her nipples against his fingers, but he held firm.

"Because your nipples are hiding from me, aren't they? Teasing me with just a glimpse, just the tiniest little taste," he said against the plump curve of her upper breast. His tongue, so warm, so soft this time, licked her skin so softly she had to watch to feel it properly. Then caught her breath as the tip of his tongue feathered along the edge of her nipple. She moved, squirmed trying to push it into his mouth, but he withdrew. She groaned in frustration. "Hiding from me....That's not allowed, you know," he said warningly.

"According to what rules?" she demanded, playing along, running one hand into his hair.

"Mine. And yours." He scraped his teeth along the top of her nipple. "Because you never really want to hide from me, do you?"

"What would the point of that be?" she asked breathlessly. "The point of any game between us was to catch each other, find each other."

"Was it ? Hmm. ..the chase game, right?" he asked, absently, she thought as his tongue teased the top of her nipple. "Let's play chase with these..." he said, blowing air across the portion of her nipple that was exposed, impossibly making it tighten even further. "Where is it?" he asked as he looked and looked at her, the heat in his gaze enough to move that ache closer and closer to a burn. He moved his fingers, pushing her flesh inward until her breasts met. "Where is that flesh, those hard little points that are meant for me, for just my tongue, my lips, my mouth, my....teeth?" Licking her cleavage, rubbing his face into it, he murmured, "Hmm, not here." Then kissing his way to the outside edges, he nibbled her skin from the fingertips of one hand, across the top, licked her cleavage, and then across the other breast, to those fingertips. "Hmm, not there. Where could they be hiding....My mouth is so hungry for them...." She wiggled around on his lap, trying to push herself onto him. Wanting some friction, any friction...."Tell me. You have to tell me where to find them..." he said kissing her skin in random patterns. Then he slid his tongue inbetween his fingers and her skin, passing back and forth, then dipping under the nipple, pushing it upward, slowly, so damn slowly. He gave it a warm, slow lick across the entire nipple, then pulled his mouth away. Looking at her body, he said, "You have to tell me, show me. I still can't find them. Do you like this chase game?"

"Oh god, Jack," she moaned, and pushed her hands under his and lifted her breasts in her own hands, exposing the nipples. "Here, here...."

"Mmm, perfect, just what I wanted," he murmured, touching the tip of each nipple with just the tip of his index fingers, then teasing them with his tongue until she was holding her breath, just waiting, hoping he would suck them, bite them, anything to stop this teasing. Instead, he said, staring at her curves, "Look at them, look at those lovely little nipples of yours getting more and more hard and mmm, so long." He gently scraped a nail along the length of first one and then the other, staring at them intently, licking his lips. Watching, she licked hers. "You know, I could wrap my lips around just the ends, they're so hard and pointy right now. Would you like that?" He demonstrated and she just stared at him, willing him this time to keep going. This was... She felt some urgency in him...Was he starting to hear the TICKING now? "Or would you prefer...hmm. Could it be a bite? Or two or three or ten?" he asked, closing his teeth around the tip of a nipple, that was, he was right, it was burning....

She bit her lip. He looked up, caught it. He brushed those lips with his tongue, then giving a quick little bite to both lips, making her gasp and open her mouth, murmured before stroking his tongue inside, "You do love those bites, don't you? Do you want more bites?"

"Yes, for godssakes, Jack, yes. You know what I want! Do it!" She moaned and pulled his head back down to her breast.

He feathered a light kiss over her skin, pushed her fingers up higher, cupped her hands with his, plumping her softness up further. Looking at her, he kissed his way down to her nipple, watching, feeling her breath hitch in anticipation. Licking, quick, flicking licks down to her nipple, he stopped at the edge, circled around and around. Then slowly opened his mouth and bared his teeth as her hands gripped his shoulders, pushing him into her....

"Wait," he said. She groaned so loudly, he was afraid the guards would hear her. Great, that's all he needed, them pounding on the door, asking if he was killing her. He grinned at the thought and what was coming up as he said, "Quick question. Otherwise, it's gonna distract me and you don't--"

"And we don't want that! Jack, I swear....." He merely raised an eyebrow and flicked his tongue against her skin, over and over, but never quite close enough. "Oh, alright, what now? What could possibly be left? Be so important...."

"I was thinking....the chase game....hide and seek. A few years ago the FBI contacted me about identity theft of my dead wife's name. You...We tracked it down to a hacker on the internet...Or so we thought....Was that a set up...was that you?"

She looked at him, at his head bent, looking down at her breasts as he played with them. His touch was gentle, his voice soft. She relaxed. He wasn't angry. Just...curious. She had been so stupid not to tell him everything. His aggressiveness was no doubt largely due to his desire, his insatiable curiosity, need to solve a puzzle.

She asked suddenly, "Was this...was this all, from your perspective, a puzzle?"

He stopped for a moment, surprised. She could do that...Laura could surprise him. He raised cautious eyes, "You are asking about my point of view. Well, from my point of view, it's curious that you used that alias." 
"It is not an alias," she gritted out. He raised an eyebrow. Waited. Finally in exasperation, feeling the TICK even if he did not, she admitted, "Yes, I used that name." Oh, what difference did it make, she thought, seeing his eyes change, soften she thought.

"Thank you," he whispered and rewarded her with a tender bite and then a soft lick on the very tip of her nipple. She sucked in a breath, felt her hands begin to tremble. Or was it her breasts trembling with the need she held in her own hands? She tightened her grip, pushed them up higher for him. He would like that...Mmm, he did, she thought as he licked again. "How did you use it?" Then bit her lightly, slowly....

"Every once in a while, I...ah....used it. Cash transactions, small ones. Hotel rooms. Restaurant reservations. A real estate...." She moaned as he bit her a little harder. Then taking a breath, she began again, "Of course, I used that alias, if you want to call it that." He kissed her, then slowly opened his mouth again and began trailing his lips back toward her cleavage and over to the other breast. Watching him, watching her hands present herself to him, she shook her head. "It was, after all, flawless." Ah, Irina, he thought.

"Honey," he said, forcing a tone of levity into his voice as he rubbed his cheek against her breast, first one and then the other, kissing her cleavage, thrusting his tongue in and out of it as his hips imitated the motion. It was...too much. Just bite me, she thought, release some of this tension... Instead, to her surprise he rested his head on her chest. What was he doing this morning? This teasing...he knew what she wanted. Damn him, one of those teasing games of his...She confirmed her suspicions she thought, when she caught a hint of mischief in his eyes as he asked lightly, "To whom are you speaking?"

She tugged his hair. "You. What are you---"

"Do you honestly expect me to buy that story, that alibi?" He smiled to soften the sting of his words, then licked a nipple. Suckling it for a moment, he pulled back, as if to examine his handiwork. "Mmm. That's how they should look, isn't it? For me? Always so tight and hard and....ready?" He slid one hand down, lightly stroked her waist and then quickly dove inside the folds of her body and began plucking at her, "Like this little point? It was so swollen before, but now... It's so tight... I can practically feel the pulse in it with my fingers. How ready are you? Are you ready for me yet?"

"Yet! Jack....So ready. You know that. You know everything about me. You..." she gasped as his fingers changed their rhythm and rubbed so slowly she could feel her head start to spin. "I'm getting dizzy. This is too long."

"Too long...Can it really be too long?" he asked with a sly grin and pushed inside her, as he slid his tongue across her lips. "Open your lips for me, like the other set, so open, so willing, so warm...Mmm," he said as her mouth opened.

"This last time. Make it perfect. Like always....You were right, this....this is the perfect weapon, the perfect way to find each other...."

"Hmm. Glad you agree. Perfect. Like your use of the name Laura Bristow? You used it because it was a flawless cover? Didn't you use the name Laura Bristow because it was a flawed cover? Or if it was flawless, it was because the best lie is the one closest to the truth." Otherwise known as a mistruth. And he should know, he'd been playing that hand all night long. Actually for months now.

"What do you mean?" she asked resignedly.

"You are unbelievable," he said softly. "You wanted me to catch you. You wanted me to do the work, chase after you? Play the chase game? Like on the ice rink?" His fingers still played with her, so she relaxed. He understood. "Just like nineteen years ago...."

"You know the truth. Don't play this game. You know the answers, you know me." He was right. Sex was the perfect weapon between them, well, the love embodied in the sex, that connection. That connection she wanted, had wanted for so long, ever since the day she had risen from Cuvee's bed and found herself in the bathroom scrubbing her face, but unable to look at herself in the mirror. She began moving a little more frantically, clutched at him with her hands, feeling that TICK, preferring to hear the TICK than acknowledging any fear, those memories. "Jack, why didn't you get the intel from nineteen years ago? You would have been out of prison by then and..."

"The truth is, even if I had gotten the intel, it would not have mattered. I was... sick at the time. I would not have fully comprehended; it would not have computed, believing as I did that you were dead. I was not at my best at the time. Sorry," he kissed her carefully, determined, she thought, to explore every tiny bit of her lips, her mouth, her tongue as if he might never be in her mouth again. She knew the feeling and sliding her hand to the back of his head, pushed him into her, bit his lip. Brushing his lips against hers, he continued, "I'm sorry to have let you down, sorry I didn't pick up your cue, save you from that prison, bring you home.." He paused. She nodded. He bit his lip to avoid biting her, then swallowing hard, knowing it would look like regret instead of trying to control the rise of bile in his throat. A doubleplay. Maybe more, those apologies of his had always worked to misdirect her. And they would now. A tripleplay, in fact. Good. Go on. "I'm sorry, but the truth is I was unavailable to pick up your cue, even had the task force revealed everything to me."

"You were sick? What was wrong?" She stopped her movements for a moment. What? Jack had been sick? He was never sick unless...Had there been an accident? Had he been hurt on some mission? "What happened? Who hurt you?" 
"I...took a nearly fatal blow to the heart," he said calmly, one hand on her waist now, rubbing her skin, just as he had so many times, playing with the chain.

She grabbed his shoulders and looked at him, then ran her hands down to his heart and began massaging his chest again, staring at his skin as if she could see inside if she only looked hard enough. "What happened?"

"A dangerous op. Mind games. You know the type. And I made a mistake. Let down my guard. Lost." He shrugged.

"You lost... How is that possible?" She shuddered absently, as his fingers caressed her carefully, searching out every pulse point, every nerve ending.

"I'm not perfect. Taught me an important lesson about arrogance. The simple truth is that I was outplayed by someone who knew my weaknesses. And as you might remember, from that time I needed surgery---"

"Which time?" She frowned, trying to count the number of times she had waited for him to wake up in a recovery room, knowing how he needed, no wanted, her to be there for him. Remembered nearly blowing her cover with Cuvee when she had exploded when he had told her once to leave Jack alone there while he was still under the grip of anesthesia in order to deliver a report. Thankfully, he had discovered acupuncture, which had been the best choice for him, allowed him to maintain consciousness and control. And allowed her the truthful excuse that she could not leave him because he was awake and conscious of her every move. A doubleplay, even though he had not known it, those needles.

"Before I discovered acupuncture...The first time they had you come in and sit with me so I could allow myself to go under? Remember? I am not a good medical patient. I did not willingly accept the treatment offered." A grievous understatement. Poor Dave. Poor Judy. He had made their lives difficult. Well, that's the word he would use, he could only imagine how they might describe it, he winced. He could do nothing to thank Dave except try and fulfill Dave's wishes for him. But Judy...Hmm, he should probably send Judy some roses or something. Looking at the woman in whose body he was moving, he shrugged internally. Well, maybe not roses, that hand had been played. Something else, something new....

"And you call me stubborn. But are you truly alright? I mean, that time you were nearly electrocuted the day the Agency took down SD-6....Your heart, the stress. A wound to the heart can have long-lasting effects, problems can appear much later after you think you're-"

He shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I'm all better." 
"Are you sure?" She asked, running her hands over every inch of him she could reach.

"Do I appear sick to you?" He asked, pushing himself inside her and only belatedly did she realize that he had never stopped moving either his hips or his hand. That ache...it was starting to burn.

"Twisted maybe, but sick? No." She smiled and kissed his cheek, moved to his mouth. Closing her eyes, she asked the question. She knew the answer, she was sure of it, but... "Would, if you had had gotten the intel the first time, if you had understood later on...would you," she asked, biting her lip, "What would you have done?"

Without hesitation, he said against her throat, "Come after you." Felt her pulse accelerate against his lips. "And after I'd strangled you, I would have brought you where you belonged." He brought both hands around her waist, just rested them there.

"Prison?"

"No. Well, maybe for a while, it might have been unavoidable, but I could have cut a deal for you if you would work for us, with me."

She closed her eyes, trying not to feel the sharp slice of regret flowing like blood from the wound of his softly-spoken honesty. "You would have done that?" she asked.

"Of course," he shrugged. "Isn't that what you were counting on with your option c? That I would eventually forgive you?"

"And then what, after the deal was made?"

"I would have brought you where you belonged." He slid his hands up and over her shoulders, pressed her body against his, rubbed his face against her hair.

"Where is that?" she asked quietly.

"Home," he whispered in her ear. "Home." She closed her eyes on the pain, pushed it down with all the determination she possessed. Pain would not allow her to achieve her goals this morning. Guilt served no purpose. Neither did regrets.

Jack spoke softly, "Home. Isn't that where you truly wanted to be? If you had listened to your heart and hadn't gotten lost on the journey?"

She rubbed her breasts against him, breathed a sigh of relief when he leaned back to cup them again with his warm hands. Good, good, she needed the heat, needed to get lost in the feelings between them, allow herself to be found, she thought on some not-quite cognizant level as he lifted a breast to his mouth and began suckling on it. She mumbled a protest when he stopped and raised his eyes to hers. Watching her, in between licks, he asked, "So, you tried to contact me indirectly nineteen years ago?"

Why did he keep circling back to that...she really couldn't understand his thought processes this morning, especially not when his hand...."Come on, Jack. Just touch me and...Doesn't it sound to you like that damn clock is here in the room with us instead of out in the hallway?"

"Clock? Oh, that one? You know I don't like to be rushed or backed into a corner, so answer the question for me and I'll...." And he rubbed in almost the exact spot she needed, evading her attempts at moving her body in the right direction to find both the friction and connection she needed.

"Yes. A debacle. The only value in that experience was learning the lesson about allowing my weaknesses to interfere with my plans. That's what led to my mistake." She gasped when he bit her nipple, then lingeringly pulled his lips back along her flesh, making it feel as if a million pinpricks of heat were engulfing her, spreading from that point, from the one under his fingers, spreading and meeting somewhere in the middle, somewhere in the vicinity of her heart...or was it where her chain used to rest, where his fingers of one hand were once again stroking her? She stilled, suddenly feeling the chain around her like a golden ghost.

"Which mistake? Or rather, which weakness?" He moved his mouth to her other breast.

Distracted, she asked, "What do you mean?"

"The mistake to leave us or the mistake to not contact me again? The weakness you believe love to be or the weakness that comes from obsession?"

"I...." What...What had he just asked?

"Just admit it. And I'll do whatever you want. You know how...happy I get when you admit to a mistake," he said and stopped moving.

She got the point and said quickly, "I...made a mistake. Not contacting....or... I...But..."

"Ah...now, you see you made me happy," he said softly and began moving his hips again. "You make me happy and I'll make you happy. One of my little circles. Does this make you happy? This little circle?" he asked and then bent his head to her breasts again. Taking one breast in his hand, he lifted it up with just two fingers and delicately applied just the tip of his tongue to the tip. Flicking it around and around, over and over until she was writhing on him. Feeling the little contractions starting again --how many times had they started this morning, he wondered idly, really he should be making a count - he pulled his mouth away, but not before gently scraping his teeth along the end of the nipple and pulling it out between his lips. She groaned a protest when the wet warmth of his mouth left her body and ground her body into his.

"What kind of mistake?" He kissed her neck and she automatically tilted her head to accomodate his mouth.

"I...let my desires cloud my judgment about how to play that game and I...."

"That was your mistake, following your desires? And how did your desires cloud your judgment. What does that mean?"

"I...was sloppy. One time, that one time, I allowed my weaknesses to rule my judgment and I...sent out initial feelers and I should have find a better strategy...."

"Hmm. Possibly. We can review later. But for now, speaking of feeling, what do your nipples want? You tell me, what do they want?"

When she did not answer, just stared at him, shrugged helplessly, feeling caught in his eyes, he kissed a nipple and asked, "Do you like that?" Then bent his head to the other and gave it a long, thorough lick, "Or this? Which do you like better?"

"Oh no, not those old questions..." she moaned. He would, would drive her crazy if he kept that up. And she didn't want to hear those questions, they brought unwelcome memories of his past, of his history, of that conversation....

"Old, new, who cares as long as they give you what you want, what you need, what you deserve, right? So tell me...."

She blurted out, needing reassurance, knowing he would assuage her fears. At least for now. At least in his presence. "Natasha told me you would ask those questions. Told me....she was supposed to instruct me in how to seduce you, but she was wrong. Wrong, Jack, wrong," she said desperately, grabbing him with her hands, remembering those questions, that conversation, her old fear and possessiveness, her old fear about his future with other women, asking them those questions when she left him. As she would again, shortly.

TBC at Chapter 13 Part 2 section 5