Money Can Buy You Love. And Glitter. Chapter 53.1
Rating: This chapter is PG.
Ship:: Adam/Kris
Story begins here: Chapter 1: Meet cute in coffee shop
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Chapter 53: Hither
"Lane! I think my phone is broken or something!" Adam yelled as he roamed around his house, wondering where everyone was. Lane had asked him to meet her here and now where was she? "My schedule is empty and I remember quite clearly that I had two interviews tomorrow morning alone and --"
Beep
Seeing Kris' face smling up at him from his phone screen, Adam anwered immediately. "Hedgehog, where are you?" He began to frown as he realized he was listening to a recorded message.
"Your mission should you choose to accept it is to do what I tell you. Well, actually you can't choose not to accept it because I'm using my get out of jail free card for bossing you around. Yup, I'm callin' it in. Okay, go ahead, yell and scream for Lane, but that's not gonna change anything. Deal is, I'm giving you coordinates in the text message I am sending you while you are listening to this message and -- Ha! Bet you thought I couldn't be this devious, didn't you? Ha! Anywaaay... So. It's geocaching. Our thing. Well, outside of sex. And music. And, well, anyway... Look at my text message and then go to the coordinates and then you'll find out what's goin' on. But the adventure's gonna start right now. Do it right now. Got it? Good. Love ya."
Having come to a stop in front of the glass doors overlooking the pool, empty pool -- seriously, where was everyone? -- Adam paused as he caught his reflection in the glass. He was grinning like a fool, which was the effect Kris had on him, still after all these years. And oh crap, he was sending him on a geocaching adventure? Without him? This made no sense whatsoever, but it probably did to Kris, so he'd do it, but day-um, his schedule and oh, that was probably why his schedule had disappeared. Lane and Kris were always in cahoots. "LANE!"
Beep
Pressing the button for his text messages, Adam smiled as he looked at the coordinates, then frowned. He was no cartographer, so it was no surprise that he didn't know where it was. He could look it up, of course, or... "LANE!" he yelled. "I know you're here. Come out, come out, wherever you are!"
"Front door!"
"What the hell?" Adam muttered as he retraced his steps toward the foyer. Lane was indeed standing there, tapping her foot and looking like he'd forgotten something. "Okay, this is unfair. I never forget a work meeting, so why the frown and..." He stopped when he noticed Lane was just tapping her foot, which was next to a suitcase... "Oh hell, you're not quitting. No, no, no. Lane, you can't quit. I neeeeed you. I love you and..." Adam paused as he saw the amusement in Lane's eyes. "You're not quitting, are you?"
"No."
"Laney, what's going on?"
"Here." Lane handed Adam a padded envelope and pointed toward a small suitcase at her feet. "Go."
"You're only speaking to me in monsyllabic words now?"
"No." Lane slapped the envelope against Adam's chest. "Passport."
Adam blinked, then laughed. "Okay. Two syllables and... I'm going out of the country."
"Bloody genius."
"Ooooh! Two words of two syllables. I bet you're breaking all sorts of rules that Kris -- who now thinks he's devious, which is so utterly ridiculous I can't even..."
Bang
The loud knock on the door stopped Adam's mocking tirade. "Is that the big bad wolf or what?" He asked Lane, who shrugged, but was obviously hiding a grin. "Okay. I guess I'll answer it." Adam flung open the door, then stepped back as his mother entered, shoving her hands against his chest.
"Is there some reason you're not following directions and waiting outside?" Leila demanded, hoping she was capable of hiding her amusement.
"Well, I..." Adam began.
"Let me guess, Lane. He was arguing with you," Leila surmised, crossing her arms.
Lane crossed her arms and nodded. "Trying."
"Oh!" Adam nodded. "That's why you're not really talking. So I can't argue with you."
"You could argue with a bloody post!" Lane exploded. "I knew that. That's why I called in your mother."
"Uh-oh..." Adam muttered then turned to his mother with a sheepish smile. "I'm in trouble. What did I do?"
"Don't give me that smile. It's not going to work. Did you even think about taking that vacation we all asked you to take?"
"Well, I've been--"
"Don't want to hear it. Get in the car!" Leila ordered, taking one of Adam's arms while Lane took the other, grabbing the small case with her other hand. They pulled him forward toward a black car, a driver standing outside it.
"A car?" Adam asked, "Well, that's obvious, you don't need to answer-- Hey!" He squawked as the driver opened the door and Lane and his mother pushed him inside the back seat. "Are you two kidnapping me?" Adam asked, still laughing as Lane and his mother both clambered in after him.
"You are my kid and you do need a nap, so yes." Leila pointed at Adam. "Buckle your seat belt."
"Are we in for a bumpy ride?"
"You are, if you don't do as you're told," Leila warned him. "Just buckle up."
"So I'm going somewhere. But... Lane, what did you pack for me?" Adam asked suspiciously eyeing the size of that suitcase sitting between Lane and his mother.
"You have your sunglasses, right?" Leila asked, not answering the question.
"Yes, right here..." Adam patted his chest, where they rested, hooked over the top of his shirt.
Leila asked, "And Lane -- you cleared his schedule?"
"Yes. yes." Lane nodded.
Leila turned to Adam. "Then you're good to go."
"But--"
"Don't want to hear it." Leila shook her head. "Be quiet."
"But--"
"Adam Mitchell Lambert!" Leila remonstrated, digging around in her oversized purse and pulling out a large metal spoon. Holding it up, she asked, "Do I need to use the spoon on you?"
"No, ma'am." Adam sat back in his seat and pressed his lips together. For a long time. Surely he deserved something for being quiet for so long. He opened his mouth and then seeing the glint in his mother's eyes, closed it. After watching the streets and realizing they were headed to LAX, so that must have been the coordinates and he didn't need to look them up very much, Adam began, "We're going to LAX. So is that the last set of coordinates Kris will send me?"
Lane and Leila looked at each other. Lane shook her head.
"I feel like I'm in an episode of Alias or something. Did Kris tell you that we met Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck again at one of Geoffrey's parties? Nicest couple. But if you were going to try and confuse me while kidnapping me, you would should've used that guy...what was his name... Sark? Yeah. He was pretty cute and OW!" Adam yelped as his mother struck his knee with the spoon. "What was that for?"
"You're babbling. Which means you're either nervous or excited or over-tired. Just relax and let someone else be in charge for once."
"Over-tired?" Adam glared at his motther. "I am not a toddler in need of a nap."
"No. You're an over-worked man in need of a vacation."
"Indeed." Lane took the spoon from Leila and slapped Adam's other knee.
"Ow!" Adam rubbed his knees. "What was that for?"
"For not listening to us before. Plus, Kris went to a lot of trouble to set this up and you shouldn't be talking about another guy."
"Whaaaat?" Adam gaped at Lane. "I'm not... It was a joke... I... What?" He laughed. "I don't ... Kris is the love of my life. Brad was teasing me the other day that we are the oldest married couple he knows, including his grandparents who are in their eighties, given how he couldn't get me to tell him fantasies about other guys."
"TMI." Leila sighed.
Adam smiled smugly. "Oh, yeah. Well, anyway, I might look, but I don't, I would never ever cheat on Kris and you have to know that. Now, I'm offended." Adam crossed his arms and looked out the window.
"I apologize, Adam," Lane said softly. "I know how much you love Kris."
"You better."
'Then act like he's special to you. Pay him attention," Leila suggested.
"I do!" Adam protested. "I went out to Arkansas!" When Leila continued staring at him implacably, he slumped. "Okay, that didn't work out so well, but I tried. Right, Laney?"
"Well, yes," Lane agreed, reaching out to pat Adam's hand. Adam did look distressed and he did love Kris. "I have to say your intentions were the best -- as were mine. Even if Kris doesn't see it that way."
"I know, right?"
Leila swore under her breath. Lane was starting to lose focus, a common affliction around Adam, especially when he was using the puppy dog eyes. She snapped her fingers at Adam. "Adam, that was months ago."
Glaring at his mother who had thwarted his efforts to win over Lane, Adam sighed. "Okay. I get it. He wants attention. I need to take time off and pay him attention. You're right. I don't want to lose him."
"It's more than that, sweetie." Leila reached out to pat Adam's knee, smiling when he flinched. A little fear wasn't necessarily a bad thing. "You're not going to lose Kris. I don't think, anyway." She paused, then relenting, added, 'That boy is besotted with you, but don't take it for granted -- that's the biggest mistake people in long-term relationships make, in my opinion."
"Oh." Adam nodded. "Thanks for the advice." He guessed that given he was going to the airport, he'd have time en route to wherever those coordinates were to think about his mother's advice. "And Lane, don't you have some pearls of wisdom for me?"
"You need to find balance in your life. Not just with Kris and not just for all the people you love. But for you. It's been months since you talked my ear off about astrology! Or non-work clothes."
"Really?" Adam frowned."That's wrong."
"So, we're helping Kris give you a time out to think about balance, to recharge..." Leila smiled. "And here we are."
"Where are we? This isn't the regular entrance." Adam looked around curiously.
"It's for private planes."
"I don't own a private plane. Do I?" Adam rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll concede that I'm overbooked, but I'd remember if I bought a private plane. They cost the earth. Which is an ironic comment given that the job of planes is to leave the earth and..." Adam paused as he realized his mother and Lane were staring at him. "I'm babbling again."
"You need a rest and you're going to get it." Lane pointed towards the security official. "Okay, take your suitcase. Remember -- you packed it."
"I know the rules." Adam picked up the suitcase, which was surprisingly heavy for its size. "What's in here?"
"Everything you're going to need." Lane smirked.
"How about --"
"And nothing more. You do not need your jewelry box or five different pairs of half-gloves. You need something else."
"Where the hell am I going that I don't need my jewelry?" Adam asked suspiciously. "The ends of the earth?"
"No. St. Louis," Lane blurted out.
"St. Louis? I was right -- that is the ends of the earth! It's the midwest!"
A male voice interjected. "Indeed, Mr. Lambert. Here's the currency you'll need to deposit for the next set of coordinates."
Adam twirled around and took a step back as the man before him extended his hand.
"It's fine," Lane told him quickly. "Bloody hell, you're jumpy. The pilot is just trying to give you one of those little trinkets you and Kris use in geocaching."
"Oh, a doubloon?" Adam smiled in relief as he recognized the glint of the cheap plastic Dollar Store trinket in the man's hand. "Sorry, I guess I am a little grumpy." He took the doubloon from the pilot and turned it over, looking at it. "How does this work?"
Lane looked at her phone. "You should have a text from Kris explaining it."
Adam sighed. "He's really enjoying this, the little shit."
"Mr. Lambert, if you're ready, we should board the plane and get airborne." The pilot pointed towards the plane.
"I don't own this plane, do I?" Adam asked worriedly.
"Mr. and Mrs. Affleck own the plane."
"That little..." Adam shook his head. Huh. Kris could be devious. That was... disturbing. No, it was fine. Kris was Kris. Totally trustworthy little hedgehog whose ass he was going to beat as soon as he saw him.
The pilot explained, "Mr. Allen and Mrs. Affleck both felt it was an excellent way for you to be able to leave without others being apprised of your plans."
"So, no one besides the crew knows that I'm going to..." Adam trailed off.
"The sooner you board the plane, the sooner you'll know," Lane pointed out.
"Sure." Adam nodded, then turned back to Lane and his mother. "Okay, hug me before I set off for middle America, where I will probably disappear, never to be seen again, probably arrested for wearing nailpolish or--"
"Goodbye, sweetheart. Have a great time," Leila interrupted, knowing Adam could carry on forever if he wanted. She reached up and hugged him.
"Laaaaaane?" Adam whined.
"Buck up and all that rot," Lane quipped. She patted Adam on the back. "You'll have a great time. Believe me. If what Kris wanted me to pack is any indication, anyway."
"Now, you've got me curious."
"You're not supposed to open it until you get there. Kris' rules--"
"Yeah, not so good at following rules." Adam shrugged.
"Be that as it may, Mr. Lambert." The pilot began walking. "We do have to follow FAA rules and I filed our flight plan to leave in thirty minutes, which means you must leave now."
"Fine. Mom, Lane." Adam sighed. Loudly. "Promise you'll answer when I call from jail in St. Louis."
"What a drama queen today," Lane muttered as she and Leila walked away.
"I know. Poor boy does need a vacation."
"So. Mr. Lambert..." The police officer threw down Adam's passport and leaned over the table. "You want to explain again why you were seen poking around other people's luggage and under seats?"
TBC ----> Latest chapter is rated PG-15 and is here: Chapter 53.2: And