The Perfect Weapon Ending 2 part 1 section 12
"I wonder if he did, though..." Irina wondered aloud, but Jack was still continuing, putting the pieces together. "Someone had to get my inquiry or I wouldn't have been caught after the fact..."
"My wife who wasn't really dead. And he saw me, so he knew...what it looks like when a man starts to lose touch with reality when he'd rather live in a world where the pain can't be felt. And..." Jack stared at her. "He was basing his entire plan on...us. That son of a b****."
"And on some level you knew that. Or rather, you saw only that level -- that you and he shared the untimely loss of a beloved wife. That's why you couldn't see through it. Your compassion, your empathy for the pain of losing your wife.... And then when he began to act as if he might be...."
"You can say it. Breaking down like I did."
"You recovered, Jack," she said, grasping his chin. "That's...amazing."
"It's nothing..." He shook his head. "I didn't do well enough...."
"Stop thinking you need to be perfect!"
"I know I'm far from perfect. Sydney..."
"You... I believe you did the best you could. I know that. And if you'd gotten help... it would have all been different. Another reason to kill Arvin slowly. Painfully. I need to think about this." She looked off for a moment, then back at Jack. "You know... I used to think I'd never understand the puzzle box of your mind."
"I kept that puzzlebox necklace," Jack said, weaving an abstract pattern on the skin of her back. "But... the infinity charm is missing. I don't know how."
She stared at him. Feeling again, something tickle at the back of her mind. Then she shoved it down. Later. Focus. "Me either... But let's talk about today. Sloane. Sark."
"You're often a puzzle to me," Laura had said, putting the roses aside to reach her arms up around his broad shoulders.
"The puzzle is how we fit together..." Jack murmured, tickling her neck with quick little licks.
"Which is...?" she had asked, shifting under him invitingly.
He smiled as he slid between her legs. "Perfectly..." he said softly, staring into the warmth of her eyes, as he felt the warmth of her wet softness envelop and enclose him once again as he slid forward into her.
"Perfectly..." she repeated, tilting her head up for his kiss as they began to move together. Once again. Forever, she thought.
She stared at him as his face...it didn't close precisely, it just took on a...coldness, was the word. Looking inwardly, she thought, he was accessing that coldness. Watching his eyes change, she was glad that the coldness was not directed at her.
"Jack.. Did you want to finish your breakfast? I know it's cold but..." She walked over to the table and picked up a slice of toast. "Will you try it now?" She worried about him, he looked so... tense. He wasn't rubbing his stomach, but he could just be exercising control now that he knew she had noticed. "Will you take a slice for me?"
"Who is this me, anyway?" He asked absently. His mouth moved, while his brain began to narrow and focus, he could feel it, welcomed this kind of coldness, that would enable him to destroy a former friend. "No, thanks, honey. Later. When we have a new batch. Fresh. Hot."
She opened her mouth to make a joke, anything, anything to ease the tension in his face, when he stood up abruptly and stalked into the bathroom. She tossed the toast aside and followed him, watching him roughly open his pack, pull out his electric razor and begin brusquely to shave his face.
"Jack.." she said, sitting down on the toilet seat. He looked at her, then at himself shaving and seemed to shake himself. She knew why. "How many times did we do this? Talk while you shaved?"
"Talk, then." He said no more and quickly finished shaving. Watching him, she thought she could practically see his mind clicking along, making lists, checking off items, all the while pushing deep rage at his opponent into a compartment to be accessed later. Grabbing his pack, he tossed the razor into it and pulled out toothbrushes and handed her one. Standing she pulled out toothpaste and squeezed it out. Standing there, brushing their teeth, as they had done how many times before, they both wondered. They stood there, looking at themselves, thinking, then looked at each other. Spitting, rinsing, tossing the toothbrushes into the wastebasket, they wiped their mouths and faced each other.
"We need to discuss the plan," they said together. She smiled when she saw him relax at their synchronization.
"You first," Irina nodded at him.
"First. I don't believe you'll be coming back on the plane with me tonight."
She nodded. "I see. Gut instinct?"
"Partly. But it makes sense. They must know we'll have satellite positioning on you. They must have devised a way to compromise that or pull a bait and switch."
"Or both."
"Or both." He looked at her and sighed. "I'll try and chase you, but... I'm not hopeful."
Irina nodded. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him out of the bathroom. "Well, this is not the chase game I want to play anyway." She sighed.
"What is?" Jack asked quickly.
She smiled, enigmatically she hoped, and shook her head. "Later. Now. We need a plan for a later extraction."
"Here's my secure cell phone number." Jack rattled off the numbers while Irina memorized them. "I'll have it on at all times. And perhaps text messaging might be---"
"I'll use our old code?" Irina suggested, squeezing his hand. Then shook her head. "No, Arvin must know that -- from the investigation."
"Just reverse--" He took her other hand in his as well. She was so warm, he thought, looking down at their hands, then back up into her eyes.
"Mirror," she nodded. Damn, this felt good. She took a small step closer. "Goals?"
"Arvin with 100 million?" He closed his eyes momentarily as she began to slide her hands up his forearms. "Too much for mai tais on a beach. He must have set up a--"
"Network." She said it absently, searching his eyes, seeing a light that seemed to heat her from within. "Got it. Intel to dismantle it. And doubleplay? Destroy him."
"Whatever you want," Jack grinned at her. To her surprise, he bent his head and took a sharp nip from the curve of her neck. As she shivered, he whispered huskily against her skin, "Payback. By any means necessary."
Tilting her head to allow his lips to travel up her neck, rubbing her hands up and over his biceps to clutch his shoulders, she shivered. Watching him, seeing the intent light in his eyes, she knew, knew what he felt. The excitement she knew matched her own at working with someone so well matched, someone whose mind clicked along so well that full sentences were not necessary. Someone... Did he feel that connection snapping tightly between them? She stopped in midmotion and smiled slowly back at him. "Well, you did always promise that I could have whatever I wanted."
"I know. I did spoil you, didn't I?" He asked, taking another bite, this time from her shoulder.
"I flipped you and won," she corrected him with a smile, running her thumbs along his collarbones, before leaning in to lave the base of his neck with her tongue.
"True." He swallowed hard as he felt his body respond to her touch. They didn't have time and... he wasn't sure he was ready for the intensity he was feeling as they ran this game together. He shook his head, trying to clear it. "So, how do you want to destroy him? Death or---"
"Oh, no. That's too easy." She smiled.
"I agree. My choice would be to make death the infinitely preferable option."
"Death is the infinitely preferable option... I like that. You always did have a way with words, Jack." She wrapped her hands around his neck. "The doubleplays you can make with your mouth..." She tugged his head down and licked his lips quickly before pulling back to smile at him, feeling that cord tighten between them as if they were each tugging on it harder and harder.
He smiled back, feeling a surge of adrenaline and...something else, something dangerous but undeniable. Need. His hands tightened on her back and began kneading the muscles there. So strong, he thought admiringly.
"His weakness?" She asked quickly, staring into his eyes, which had changed from icy coldness to heat. The heat of a predator, she thought, seeing the glitter of the chase and the game in his eyes, combined with a different kind of heat, the kind she felt between her legs and pressing against him, knew he felt too. She felt her blood thicken and move as slowly as a stream of molasses from a half-tipped pitcher. "Weakness?" she asked again, rubbing her calf against his leg, cursing the fact that he was wearing pants.
"Same as mine." His eyes stayed glued on her face as she seemed, somehow, to move even closer. As her eyes seemed to drink him in, swallow him, trap him. But oh, how he wanted to fall into this trap, he knew. Knew it and yet... "And every weakness---"
"Is exploitable. Got it..." she said softly, nodding. Then her eyes dropped down his body and she gasped. He was as ready as she was and... "God, Jack---" She began, then her words were cut off when his mouth descended on hers. "I need you--" His mouth swallowed her words as he slid his hands up into her hair, held her still, took her lips, her tongue, her mouth, then opened his mouth and she took his. Then sighing, they both gentled and kissed slowly, lingeringly, knowing that this might be the last kiss until.... Reluctantly they opened their eyes.
"What...was that?" Irina asked, holding onto his arms tightly. Did he feel dizzy too, she wondered. Staring into his eyes, she knew the answer. She could see so deeply within, saw the man whose mind had connected to hers earlier in the night, when they had both remembered that poem, 'The Second Coming.' But a man she had not known, not this way, until recently. And now? They had both been spinning together in that gyre created by the cord pulling them tighter and tighter.
"That was..." Jack grinned crookedly. "The best games strategy session I've ever had." Irina laughed lightly and nodded. Jack looked into her, into...her, he thought. The real her. Yes. Some parts Laura, some parts Irina, some parts... something new. Whatever, he thought, with a small smile. Massaging the back of her head, he nuzzled his nose into her cheek. "It's you...but..."
"I know. It's you..." She rubbed her chin against his shoulder, then unable to resist, took a small bite, then kissed the skin. Then another. "But a you I didn't know, not really. But it's a you, I--"
"Want. I want too." He sighed as her tongue gently swished back and forth over the tiny hurt.
"I want to work with you," Irina said slowly, rubbing her body against his. "Damn it, if only, I'd told you and..."
"Don't." He shook his head. "Forward. I want to work with you too. Although..." he smiled and ran a hand down her body and they both shuddered and strained toward each other. "If this is the reaction we're going to have to running games off of each other, I can see that the briefings in the Op Center might become a lot more... interesting."
"Do you have your own office?"
"No. I like having my desk in the center of everything."
"Put in a request for a second office." She ordered, nodding at him. Surely, he would see the benefits of privacy. She still counted his visit to her office the morning of the night of the jewelry, one of the best uses of an office on record. Did he still have those chains with the hearts on them? That would get quite a reaction if she wore that one day and....
"Oh?" He smiled quizzically, although he knew what was coming. Or what he hoped might be coming. Hmm. He remembered that visit to her office well. Would she wear those little chains with the hearts again? That would be... Hmm. An opaque door would be a necessity. Or else Sydney might see something she probably didn't want to... Oh s***. What was he going to tell Sydney?
"I think we may need it." The door, she thought, better have a pick-proof lock on it. Or Sydney might play that escape game and see something she should not. Wait. What was Jack going to tell Sydney....
"Is that a promise?" He asked, rubbing his thumb across her cheekbone.
"This is my promise." She cupped his face in her hands. "No matter what happens today, one day, not too long in the future, we'll be together. Again. Forever."
"Together again forever." Jack nodded. "That has a nice ring to it."
"Let's...use that as our sign off. T-A-F. Don't tell anyone else and I won't either. That way we'll have confirmation on the veracity of any transmission."
"Good idea."
"And my call name should be...." She thought for a moment.
"Whatever?" Jack asked with a grin, stepping back in anticipation of her slap. "Don't like that one? How about..." He paused and laughed when she scowled at the look of amusement on his face.
She reached a hand out and touched his arm, seeing again the anxiety behind the amusement. How he was using humor as a defense mechanism. "How about what?" she asked with a sigh of resignation.
"Louse? You know, from the--"
"Burns poem." She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Jack---"
"No, let's stick with Whatever. That's innocuous enough, if someone should overhear on your end. And let's save Louse for some other occasion."
"Like the next time you're angry with me?"
"No. Another...mission when this is all over."
"Honey," Jack sighed reluctantly, as he leaned over. "We have to go."
"I know..." Laura reached up and cupped his face in both hands. "This was a time... apart."
"Yes. But even with the baby and everything else, we can always find each other."
"You're right. But---Stop!" She called out as he began to pull out of her. "Just..."
He wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I have you," he whispered. "In my arms. In my heart. No matter where you are, no matter where I am, you will always be in my heart."
"You know...." Irina began. "I thought of that poem when I was reading Dave's notes. And I saw myself as he had. As you had. As Sydney must have. When I thought I was so...free, free to achieve my goals. And the truth is... I was trapped. I wasn't free. I was trapped by my own obsession, in my own prison."
"Is that what you think?"
She laughed. "Is that therapist-speak?"
He laughed too. "Sorry. That is annoying, isn't it? So... you saw yourself as the louse in the story?" His eyes suddenly lit up in that way that told her she was going to regret what words were next coming out of his mouth.
"Oh no. No. You are not---"
"You know, I'm having trouble deciding what to call you. Laura, Irina. Whatever. I thought of Whatever. But... here it is. So perfect. My..." he bent forward and kissed her. Lifting his lips, he murmured, "Lovely." Kissed her again. "Little." Kissed her yet again. "Louse."
"Jack, your sense of humor is---"
"It amuses me."
"Glad it amuses someone."
"Honey..." Jack said, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "It's almost time."
"I know..." She paused as she thought about this last display of humor, if that's what it had been, masking his fear, his worries that she would be a louse. Again. People have patterns and he had no way of knowing how deeply she made those promises this morning. No way. After all, she had made promises before, hadn't she? It was a miracle, a... miracle of courage to let her go. Although...somehow, she had a feeling that should she not return, he would find a way.... Wouldn't want to, but would. Abruptly, she asked, hearing the truth as it fell from her lips, "You're a nervous wreck, aren't you?" He said nothing, just clenched his jaw and turned his head. "Jack. Truth, remember?"
"Yes. I am. I'm not proud of it. But I am." Was he going to regret telling her this, he wondered. Well, if nothing else, he could tell Sydney that he had done everything he could to bring her mother back to them. When he told Sydney...what was he going to tell her? When?
"I'm probably the only one who could tell. And... Dave."
"Whatever. But you're calm." He pushed back suspicion, fed his faith on the surety in her eyes.
"I know my intentions. And...I compartmentalize better, I think."
"No doubt from years of practice," he sniped.
"No doubt," she said softly, feeling the quick, erratic pulse of his heart under her cheek.
"I'm sorry for that comment."
"It's okay. Jack...." She said it softly and tipped her head back to look at him. Sliding her hands up his shoulders, along his neck, she cupped his face. "Look into my eyes. Listen to me. Feel the truth with your heart. I will return to you. No matter what. I will return to you."
He nodded tensely and said nothing.
"No. Look at me. Look into my eyes. See the truth." Then she sighed. How often had he looked into her eyes during their time together and thought he had seen the truth? And he had. He had seen that she loved him, but she had still left. "Jack... All we have... all we can rely upon... is faith."
Hugging her so tightly to him that she could not breathe, he whispered, "Be careful. I... want you back."
"I will be careful. More careful than I've ever been. Because now I have a reason, two reasons really, to be careful. Because I know... you....your feelings for me will be..."
"Yes."
"And I... my feelings for you are..."
"Yes."
"Jack. I know this is... so hard. I know. Or I can imagine. I never -- until this morning -- truly imagined that you... might leave me. And I... You are giving me the freedom to go. But I will return. Because...."
"Because..."
She smiled. Jack would always, always, need the words. "Because the only time I've felt truly free is when I am in your arms."
He nodded and dropped his head to rest against hers. "Come back to me," he whispered. "I want to be free too. Again. With you."
"I will. I promise. I, Laura, Irina, Whatever, the louse----"
"You forgot honey."
She sighed happily. "So I did. And that was always my favorite. But whatever you want to call me, the real me..." She tapped her chest. "The real me, is making you this promise. No conditions, no loopholes. Not even a doubleplay. I will come back to you. And we will have forever."
"Promise."
"Promise."
Giving her a last kiss, he finally pulled back and nodded. "Let's go."
Beginning to pull on her clothes, she stopped when he took them from her. Wordlessly, he held out her panties to step into, then smoothed then up her body. Did the same with every item. Touching her skin so gently, so carefully, she had to bite her lip to keep from crying. When he bent his head, buttoning her shirt, she threaded her fingers into his hair to hold him still. Reaching up, she kissed his forehead, then rested hers against it.
Pulling back, she reached for his clothes, giving him different pants, a new shirt, enjoying the little moment, so similar to so many others in the past, like so many others, she hoped, to come. Finally, having avoided it, she began buttoning his shirt up from the button, tucking it in after only a few buttons, buckling his belt. Then reluctantly resuming buttoning his shirt, she paused when she reached high on his chest. Shaking her head, she bent forward and kissed the hard wall of muscle over his heart, so necessary to protect something she knew to be so soft when it came to the people he loved. He would deny it, she knew, but the fact that he would forgive her, surely something that no one save Sydney or Dave would understand, was proof enough. Although... Arvin might believe that. How could she use that? Later, she told herself. Now, now... she had all the proof she needed, she thought, rubbing her cheek against his skin and sighing deeply as his hands threaded through her hair. Reluctantly lifting her head, she buttoned the last button. Then slid her arms around his neck, touching the hair at the back of his head.
Whispered, trying to delay this leave-taking, that she hoped would be a short one, "Will you grow it a little longer for me?"
"If you'll grow yours a little longer for me..." Jack whispered back. "I can't really wind it around my hand right now."
"You always liked that."
"Yes."
"Jack... I love you. The man you were. The man you became. The man you will be."
"I..." He stopped and bit his lip. "I... regret...."
"Nyet, it's okay," she said softly and put her fingertips across his lips. "Not yet. Remember the rats? They need an incentive? That can be mine."
"But--"
"No. I.. don't deserve it yet."
"I hate this," Jack said, looking away.
"I know. But if it's too easy..."
"Somehow..." He looked toward the window. "I don't think this is going to be easy. And... Honey, one last thing?"
"Yes?" she asked.
"Try and keep the body count down? If at all possible?"
"The guards..." Irina began.
"Yes. I'd like for Rosencrantz and Gildenstern here on the other side of the door to return home alive. If only to spread the no doubt irresistible news that they heard you laughing hysterically after a loud thud was heard from within. So...let's give them the opportunity to make my life a living hell if possible."
"Well, you know, it isn't my m.o. to worry about the body count. KGB--"
"I know, I know. KGB training manual states dead men tell no tales. But still---"
"I have no intention of harming those guards. But..." Life, this life was dangerous.
"I know. This is a dangerous business and they know it." Then he sighed and pointed toward the pack. "Get the document."
"You're just too squeamish, Jack, that's your problem." Irina said, looking at him carefully as she took the Rambaldi heart document and folded it to hide under her clothes.
"My problem? I'm squeamish?" He frowned and motioned her over; the document was almost visible. Tugging her shirt into place, he nodded and spun her around to face him. "Do tell. This is interesting fiction."
"Yes. I remember that day, when I had Dave come over to talk to you..."
"What day was that? And how long ago?" The days of feeling anxiety and guilt over terminating an enemy had long since passed him. Apparently, she did not know that yet about him. Or maybe, he thought, seeing the amusement in her eyes, she was just thinking of something else.
"The day of the night I took those photographs. Remember?"
"No. Refresh my mem-- Ouch!"
'Jonathan Donahue Bristow....I swear!"
"Like shooting fish in a barrel. Really, it is just too easy to irritate you."
"I will make you pay..." She stopped at his grin, then gave a slow smile of her own as she asked. "Speaking of easy....Did you keep that pagan necklace?"
"Oh that? Did I ever tell you that I was the one who designed that piece?" Jack asked with his best imitation of an innocent face. That should give her something to ponder while she was lying alone in a bed tonight.
"Did you ever WHAT? You did what?" She stared at him. Damn him, for distracting her with that tidbit. What else did she not know about him? And why now? What did it mean, to tell her of his designs?
"Time to go," Jack interrupted. They both fell silent and looked at each other.
Irina opened her arms and Jack took a step forward into them. "It's...over," he whispered so softly she thought she imagined it.
But... just in case, she whispered back, "It's just beginning. I promise."
Laura looked around for her clothing, shaking her head. How he did this to her...Oh, there it was, by the statue. Shaking it out, she slid it over her head, then turned and began to help Jack pick
"This was a beautiful place, really," Laura said as they drove away. "I think I'd like to see it in the daylight sometime."
"Sure, whatever you want," Jack agreed, putting his hand on her knee and squeezing gently. "Good memories for your memory book tonight?" he asked, looking away.
She smiled at him and touched his cheek. "I'll never forget."
"Be careful," Jack warned again as he began to open the door to the room. "I don't want to see you in that cemetery for real again, unless it's to have the kind of fun we had that night while Arvin and Emily waited up for us. Forever. Remember how they teased us when we got home so late?"
"The cemetery and the car ride that night...." Irina laughed as they remembered. "Were we ever really that young and...silly?"
"Yes," Jack smiled wistfully.
"Usually when we were with Dave or just the two of us. Just the two of us... Jack, I want some time, we need some time together. Alone."
"We just spent hours together. Alone."
"No, we didn't. Even if it felt like we spent a year in this room. It wasn't, not the entire time, the real you and not the real me." She gestured back toward the room, sure they had spent a year in there instead of hours.
"Point taken." He looked back at the room, once again seeing the day behind the curtains. Noting idly that it didn't seem as bright as it had before.
"I think I'd like to come back here sometime and...exorcize the ghosts of this room," Irina said softly as the door closed behind them.
"Whatever you want." Jack nodded, although he was certain that he never again wanted to spend that long locked up in a room fighting for his life. No...the next time they were battling their demons and finding each other it would be under the open sky. The sun or the stars or...he smiled, looking at her, if they were lucky, it would go on long enough to see both the sunset and the sunrise.
"A little hazy right now, sir, but the weather report says it will clear up later," one of the guards commented when Jack nodded a greeting at him.
"I live in hope," Jack responded, looking at his wife out of the corner of his eyes.
"So do I," Irina said softly. "So do I." As they began to walk down the hallway, she looked at him and nodded. "Let's go."