The Perfect Weapon: Chapter 2013: Part 2

[camillecarelli]

Chapter 2013: Part 2

“That was a good party, interesting people,” Jack said as he closed the door on Susan and Weiss. Nice kids, nice couple. He turned to Dave, who was standing as he did so often looking out at the horizon. “It reminded me of that party we threw for the completion of your dissertation - all those psycho types.”

“You mean, psych types,” Dave said automatically. He turned to stare from Jack to Irina, not wearing the smile Jack had expected nor making the joke about their tardiness then and now the way he’d expected. “This party was better,” Dave said tightly.

At the tone of his voice, Irina’s head snapped up from looking down at the couch and trying to decide if she should vacuum the cushions tonight or wait until tomorrow. “Why is that, Dave? What...?” She knew the answer. “The falling game. I failed.”

“Yeah. A big fat red magic marker of an F on that one, Ms. Perfect.” Dave pressed his lips together and then nodded. Surprising them all, he said to Irina, “I think a do-over is in order.”

“A do-over?” Jack exclaimed. Talk about psycho. Was Dave insane? There was no way...What was he trying to prove and to whom? “I don’t-“ He stopped speaking when he realized no one was paying attention to him. And wasn’t that just perfect, since it was him who was supposed to fall back and hope someone would catch him? Perfect! “I don’t-“

“Yes.” Irina agreed softly. She had failed that test then, but now she could retake it. “It’s an excellent idea.” She lifted her chin to meet the challenge Dave was clearly setting for her. That falling game had been the major disaster of her marriage, aside from the lie behind the relationship itself of course. But it was only Dave’s subsequent manipulative intercession that had saved her from that nearly-fatal error.

“I...don’t know about this,” Jack mumbled as Dave and Irina stared at each other. Was his presence even necessary? This test seemed to be between the two of them. He was merely a weight to fall.

Vaughn shoved the last of his shirts into a suitcase, zipped it up, and dropped it on the floor near the door. He had delayed long enough. Sydney would be home soon. Weiss had called to warn him when Sydney had left the party. What was he going to say? What could he say? What-

Slam

He jumped as the front door slammed. Another door slamming. Great. He straightened as Sydney walked into the room and stopped, seeing the suitcase on the floor.

“You....” Sydney’s face tightened and she pressed her lips together. She took a deep breath, remembering her parents’ advice while feeling, finally allowing the feeling of anger rising. “What the hell is this? Were you just going to leave without even so much as a Dear Jane letter? Were you-“

“I was waiting. To talk to you.” Vaughn sighed and spread his hands out. “But...I don’t know what to say. I just...don’t.”

“How about - shocking as it may seem - that you just tell me the truth?” Sydney demanded. “Or do you think after everything I’ve lived through that I’m suddenly so weak in mind and spirit that I can’t handle the truth?” Or is it you who can’t handle the truth, Sydney wondered sadly.

“I can support your weight, Jack, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Irina smiled and ran her fingers up and down the front of his shirt. “After all, if I could handle it last night on the kitchen table-“

“Oh brother. I thought I heard something in the kitchen, but experience told me to stay locked in my room. Thank god,” Dave muttered. “Hey - did you disinfect that table after you were done? I ate my Wheaties on there this morning!”

Irina smirked. “What do you think? I have Windex in every room for just such an occasion.”

“I bet you do. But how do you disinfect the straps on my sling seat, if I might ask?”

“The sling seat!” Jack and Irina exclaimed in unison, looking at each other eagerly.

“No, no, no!” Dave protested. “If you didn’t think of it first, I get to use it-“

Jack shook his head. “Forget about it. Judy would never take that kind of risk. She’s too repressed.”

Dave winked at Jack. “Ha! If you’d heard what she said to me tonight when she drove off-“

Irina held up her hand and pointed her finger at Jack. “Excuse me. This conversation about our therapist is totally inappropriate, Jack.” He didn’t like blondes, he didn’t like blondes, he didn’t like blondes.

“Yeah, it has nothing to do with your extreme possessiveness, right, Irina?” Dave taunted.

“Nothing.” Irina sniffed contemptuously and then said in her best imitation of Judy’s constipated tone, “I have overcome that weakness which was a projection of my own fear.”

“The truth is, Syd...I don’t know if I have the strength to handle the situation,” Vaughn admitted as he stared down at his packed suitcase. “The truth is that I might hurt you if I stay--”

“As opposed to hurting me if you go?” Sydney sneered, slapping her hands on her hips.

“I think that if I fail this time, Dave will strangle me,” Irina whispered into Jack’s ear, as she pulled his reluctant body into the middle of the room.

Jack snorted. “Don’t worry about him. If you fail this time, I’ll be the one strangling you.”

Irina began to laugh at his words and light tone, then seeing the intent look on Dave’s face, she froze. Noting Jack’s utter stillness, she swore silently at her error and wrapped her arms around Jack from behind. Rubbing her cheek against his shoulder, she told him, “I know what he’s doing. And I don’t want you to...hurt again.” She looked over at Dave, whose eyes were guarded and cautious, as they’d been whenever he’d been thinking about their game plan. She alternately wished she could have seen the results of her actions twenty years before to understand his anxiety and wished she could stay blind.

“Honey.” Jack laid his hands over Irina’s, drawing her warmth into him. “Everyone gets hurt in life. It’s inevitable. Unfortunate and in my opinion, usually unnecessary given the fact that if we all made an effort to act decently, most of the hurts wouldn’t exist but...” he sighed. “I’ve created my share of hurt, too.”

“What’s your point, Jack?” Dave yawned elaborately even as he closely watched Jack’s face. He had acquiesced to the game when Irina had pulled him toward her, but he was clearly in no rush to fall again.

“What’s your rush?” Jack asked.

“I have to start staring at my phone praying for it to ring.” Dave grinned. He pointed his crutch in Irina’s direction. “You did give her my phone number, didn’t you?”

“Yes, David. I texted her and left your number with her. It’s in her court now. Okay? So, can we get on to the more important aspect of this evening? Me and my need to prove myself.”

Vaughn shook his head. “Sydney, I can’t guarantee you that I’ll be able to handle this. Short term or long term.”

“So rather than even making the attempt, you’d rather forfeit the game. Is this how you play hockey?” Sydney.

“This is no game-“

“Yes. It is. It’s the biggest game of all. The game between a man and a woman. And right now, you’re running from the puck.”

“There’s no need to prove yourself, honey. After everything we’ve been through the last few months and just because...I trust you,” Jack said honestly, even if he - and possibly everyone else in the room - knew it was also a prevarication. He did not want to do this. He did not. Not here, not there, not anywhere. He rubbed his forehead in frustration. He was apparently and totally losing his mind, retreating into Dr. Seuss. It was that damn Green Eggs and Ham See N Say of Sydney’s - she’d pulled that string so many times, he could have sworn he heard it in his sleep. And now he was blaming his daughter for his own...fear? Yes, he admitted it. He had fear. He straightened his shoulders. Face the fear, Jack. Make the choice. A or B. Fear or faith?

Irina put her hands on her hips. “If you trust me, then there should be no problem in falling back and letting me catch you this time, should there?”

“I hate logic,” Jack muttered and stayed silent and still. Should he tell her the truth? Or should he - god forbid - act like Vaughn and avoid the truth out of fear of hurting?

When Jack did not move, Irina looked at Dave, who stayed silent. Great. Now he decided to allow her to figure it out on her own? She touched Jack’s shoulders and began to massage the tension she found there with her hands. Strong hands, she knew as she felt his muscles begin to relax under her ministrations. “Sweetie...You don’t have to if you really don’t want to. I know I never fully understood, the way Dave did, why this game and my failure in it hurt you so much, but he did explain it to me and now, I’m wondering why you won’t...Will you tell me? Please?“

Fear or faith? Play or forfeit? Jack stood with his back to Irina and blurted out suddenly, surprising himself as well as the others, “When I found out the truth about you...Do you know what I thought of, what I remembered?” he demanded, his voice low and tense. “I remembered that game that night, that fear I had of trusting and how you let me think for a moment that you were going to let me fall. That was one of the first things I thought of when I found out the truth, that feeling of fear. That fear that the person I loved most was not going to catch me. And then...that game became the truth of my life.”

Irina gasped at the words of truth and the pain within them and darted in front of Jack. She cupped his face in her hands. “Don’t hide from me now!” she demanded.

Jack forced his eyes open. He deliberately looked over Irina’s head, gathering himself, then back down again. “I won’t. I just.... I had nightmares, for years. About falling and falling and...” He swallowed and then shrugged.

“You knew...” Irina accused Dave.

“I sat next to him while he slept several times, when he’d fall asleep on the couch. He’d start to thrash around in his sleep, grabbing and clutching at the air,” Dave said quietly. “Calling out your name, talking about the game.”

“He did talk in his sleep,” Irina whispered. “Jack. I...Perhaps I’ll never fully comprehend that game and what it means to you, but I do understand this. It’s important to you and therefore to me, to us. Perhaps....Perhaps if we have a do over you can erase that nightmare of the past with the present.”

“Perhaps,” Dave agreed quickly. “I think you should consider it, Jack-“

“Obviously, since this was your idea!” Jack snapped at his friend. “I get it - you’re pushing her, testing her, and me-“

“You can’t tell me that you haven’t thought of this game since she’s come back,” Dave retorted. He touched his heart. “I know you have. I, we could have protected you from that, wrapped you in insulating layers, but...” He held out his hand. “I’ve learned my lesson about manipulating to protect people from truths they need to know. And she’s either learned her lesson about catching the people she loves or she hasn’t.”

“And the lesson I need to learn...” Jack pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “I know. Judy’s told me so many times... I...” He closed his eyes. “Give me...a moment to think, to...”

Irina touched Jack’s arm lightly and moved around behind him. “You waited twenty years, I can wait for however long it takes.”

Jack nodded and looked down at his feet as Dave moved in front of him, watching them both no doubt, waiting for the decision. He could fall back. If he fell and she did not catch him, he would...survive. Not happily, not initially anyway, but he would recover. He had before, he would again. He looked up, looking out the windows before which Dave loved to stand, looking at the horizon where water kissed air, his feet firmly planted on the ground and...felt the fire of her warmth behind him, closer than he’d expected. All the elements were present and so....

He fell.

She caught him. Instantly. Easily. Fully. She had moved forward inch by inch, holding her arms out, waiting, poised, tense, knowing that this damn stupid game of Dave’s was no damn stupid game. This was life and death for Jack. And so she caught him, then held on tightly. “I will never, never let you go again, Jack. I promise. I promise, you idiot, I love you.”

“I love you too. Now let go,” Jack whispered, tugging at her hands.

“What-“ Irina dropped her arms in shock and was nearly trampled as Jack spun around so swiftly she barely had time to react to the relief being replaced by joy on his face. “Jack? What-“

“So I can hold you too....” Jack smiled, then bent his head and claimed her body with his arms and her mouth with his kiss and once again and forever, claimed her heart with his own. She had caught him, wiping out his fear and rewarding his faith, he thought with the deep happiness that still came as such a shock that all he could do was pull her up against him, nudge her mouth open with his lips and tongue and find her. She was here. Here. The way he’d always dreamed, her mouth soft and warm and needy and her arms and legs wrapped around him so...he didn’t even have words, but he knew he would not fall again. So tight was their embrace that the only thing separating them was the puzzlebox necklace on Irina’s chest.

Dave wondered if he should look away, but could not. No. In fact, he had to see it for the sight of them embodied his hopes for them. He had seen them stand enclosed within the circle of each other’s arms thirty years ago and had hoped that they would always form the intertwined circles of an infinity loop. And here they were. Again. Finally. Faith and hope had provided the circles and love connected them. Love had triumphed. Not easily, but well.

“Dave...” Jack whispered, opening his eyes and seeing his own fulfilled hope in his friend’s suspiciously bright eyes. He tightened his hold on Irina whose own hands were gripping him with such force he knew he’d have bruises tomorrow. “Thank you...I don’t know that I could have done this without-“

“Yes, you could have. But even if you couldn’t....what are friends for?” Dave shrugged carelessly although they both knew those simple words were a mask for so much more.

Jack nodded. Yes, he’d learned the lesson of accepting help when it was offered. People who sincerely wanted to help were as precious and rare as any gem and of much more value. “Brothers. What are brothers for?”

“Yes...” Dave stopped, unable to proceed past the lump in his throat. Irina held out her hand and Dave limped over, wincing when she grabbed his arm and pulled him into their embrace.

Jack sighed. “Thank you for pushing me.”

Dave nodded. Giving them both a quick hug, he pushed back to whisper in a voice husky with unshed tears, “Thank you for showing me what raw courage looks like. Tonight. And both of you, with what you’ve been doing with your relationship. I know that confronting your own fears is far more difficult than any action someone could take against you.”

“Unless you’re Arvin and the someone is us...” Irina noted. “I can’t wait to give him what he so richly deserves.”

“You know what, Michael?” Sydney paused. “I deserve better than this, better than a man not even willing to try.” She paused again, opened the door, and lowered her voice. “Get out.”

Vaughn walked out of the apartment, carrying his suitcase. He stared at the door as it slowly closed behind him. For the second time today, a Bristow had opened a door and told him to get out. For the second time tonight, a woman had closed the door in his face. Earlier, Jack had opened an office door and had told him to get out. That was...supportable. But this? Twice, he had been kicked out of homes. The first time, he had gone. The second time he had also done as he was told. Was this the behavior of a man, an adult or someone hoping that others would make his decisions for him like a... This time? Should he stay or go? He looked back at the door. Was Sydney standing on the other side of it, waiting or had she walked away herself, given up? No, she wouldn’t....but why not? Wasn’t that what he had done like some...

Coward...

He shook himself and looked around, half-expecting to see Irina standing behind him, whispering in that sibilant hiss of hers. But...no. It was only...Only his own conscience.

Thud

He dropped his suitcase and sat down on it with another thud. If he walked away now, he was walking away forever. “Second chance...” Sydney had said. There would be no second chance. Dave had told him that much earlier tonight. Words began to swirl around his mind making his head swim., until he bent forward and rested his forehead on his knees. “Choices, courage, imagination, cowardice, love, enough, not enough, everything..” and “Jello.” Jello.

If he left, he could have green Jello with whipped cream to hide the fact that he didn’t like the green Jello as much as he did the red Jello. It was easier. The green Jello was out there, waiting somewhere, no doubt. While the red Jello was surrounded by obstacles. But...could he live with himself if he didn’t even try? And didn’t Sydney deserve at least that much? He jumped to his feet and knocked on the door.

Sydney jumped to her feet and hastily wiped her hands across her wet cheeks before opening the door. “Vaughn?” she asked, wincing when her voice cracked. “Where...”

“I didn’t even make it off of the stoop. Syd?” Vaughn froze as he recognized the vulnerable fragility in Sydney’s face before - like her parents - she masked it. Is that what would happen to her with continued loss - she would freeze up herself? Did he want, could he stand to be responsible for even a small portion of the responsibility for that?

“Yes. Did you forget something?”

“Yes. My brains. My good sense. My priorities. My...my heart.”

Sydney gulped. “What does that mean?”

“It means...” Vaughn swallowed and search for words. He blurted out, “You are my red Jello.”

“Are you on drugs?” Sydney asked, peering into his eyes, searching for dilated pupils. "Red freakin' Jello?"

“It means...” Vaughn swallowed as well. “I love you and...”
“So what?” Sydney flung back at him.

“Did your father tell you to say that?”

“No. I said that. Why did you come back?”

“I can’t leave without trying. I can’t...be that kind of coward. I can’t...” Vaughn looked at Sydney. “Can I, may I come back in?”

“Oh, you can come back in!” Sydney exclaimed, grabbing Vaughn by the front of his shirt. Clenching it in her fists, she pushed him around and back toward the couch, stopping only when his legs bumped against the back of it. She pushed him over the back of it onto the cushions and flung herself on top of him. Slamming into his chest with her hands, she was unaware of the fact that she was sobbing.

“Syd...” Vaughn reached out and tentatively curled his fingers around her shoulders. “First...oh god, I am sorry. I am. I love you.”

“You loved me an hour ago, a month ago, a year ago, but five minutes ago you walked out that door. We both know love is not enough.” Sydney sniffled.

“We do. That’s right. And enough is not good enough. Your father said that I, we, owe the people we love everything. He also said I wasn’t giving that to you.”

“I know.”

Vaughn nodded and looked down. “Irina said I...I was like her. I lacked courage and imagination. And Dave...”

“You’ve had it from the unholy trinity, haven’t you? Did they help, did they give you what you needed?”

“Yes. Dave made the point - with Jello, of all things - that I could have what I really wanted or I could accept second best with a sugar coating to make it more palatable.”

“I see. So I’m the red Jello you really want?” Sydney asked. Dave was spending too much time with her father if he was coming up with these absurd analogies.

“Syd?” Vaughn froze as he recognized the vulnerable fragility in Sydney’s face before - like her parents - she masked it. Is that what would happen to her with continued loss - she would freeze up herself? Did he want, could he stand to be responsible for even a small portion of the responsibility for that?

“Yes. Did you forget something?”
“Yes. My brains. My good sense. My priorities. My...my heart.”

Sydney gulped. “What does that mean?”

“It means...” Vaughn swallowed and search for words. He blurted out, “You are my red jello.”

“Are you on medication?” Sydney asked, peering into his eyes, searching for dilated pupils.

“It means...” Vaughn swallowed as well. “I love you and...”

“So what?” Sydney flung back at him.

“Did your father tell you to say that?”

“No. I said that. Why did you come back?”

“I can’t leave without trying. I can’t...be that kind of coward. I can’t...” Vaughn looked at Sydney. “Can I, may I come back in?”

“Oh, you can come back in!” Sydney exclaimed, grabbing Vaughn by the front of his shirt. Clenching it in her fists, she pushed him around and back toward the couch, stopping only when his legs bumped against the back of it. She pushed him over the top of it and flung herself on top of him. Slamming his chest with her hands, she was unaware of the fact that she was sobbing and soaking his shirt with her tears.

“Judy?” Dave asked eagerly, his wet hand sliding down the phone. “You called! I’m so glad!”

Judy looked into the mirror over her mantle and saw her own smile. “How refreshing it is to find a man who doesn’t play the game of acting cool-“

“I think I’ve already demonstrated tonight that I don’t believe in wasting time. I’ve also demonstrated a complete inability to play it cool around you. So making the attempt would be both futile and a waste of time. And...besides, I think you prefer a warmer-“

“Perhaps,” Judy said quickly to cut him off while wondering what that sound was in the background. It sounded like water. Was he outside? “I wanted to make sure you had my personal number.” She rattled it off for him.

“Ah. The phone only you answer. To make sure meddling little minds don’t meddle?” Dave leaned against the shower enclosure wall and checked the covering on his bandage to make sure it was still intact.

“Not that you’d know anything about meddling, would you, Dave?”
“Who, me? Don’t be ridiculous,” Dave said in a light tone, pushing the button on the wall soap and shampoo dispenser. That was cool. He liked that little gadget. And this cell phone that Jack had insisted he have and keep with him at all times. Damn handy gadget.

“What does that tone of your voice mean? What did you do after I left?” Judy asked suspiciously.

“How the hell did you...” Dave groaned.

“Well, if I didn’t before, I do now. What did you do?”

“I had Jack and Irina play the falling game after the party,” Dave said in a rush.

“You WHAAT?” Judy exclaimed. She picked up a pencil and deliberately snapped it in two. Damn it, she wished she had thought of that. Well, she still had her own rabbit in a hat. “You know what? Let’s talk about this on Monday. In my office. Professionally.” Judy nodded, pleased with her suggestion.

“I’d be delighted to do so,” Dave agreed. “I’d also be delighted to talk to you now - personally.”

“That’s why I called,” Judy said cautiously.

“I’m glad you realized it was your turn in the game.”

“I may not have played for years, but I think I still know the rules. Even if I didn’t write a manual on the topic.”

Dave laughed. “Judy, in all seriousness...I’m so happy I got to meet you again. I never forgot you. All those years...”

“I...When I met Jack and did research and realized who he was and who his friend Dave was....” Judy shook her head. “I remembered you. You made an impression.”

“Yeah, as a jerk, right?” Dave shook his head. He had been an idiot, not taking Jack’s advice and chasing after her harder. Just as he had seen that Jack needed to ask Laura out that day, Jack had seen the potential in Judy. This time he was going to take the advice and do whatever it took to investigate the possibilities. She was smart and pretty and blonde and challenging and had her own rats. Really, why the hell was she still single? Had men gotten stupid in the last twenty years?

“And it’s a relief to see that you haven’t changed.”

“I know. I’m still as irresistible as ever.”

“Jerk.” Judy smiled as she said it. She liked him. She had liked him when she was reading and memorizing, truth be told, his notes. She had admired him, but more than that, she realized now, she’d felt a connection. How...odd. It was as though she’d gotten to know him first...yes, that’s why she felt so comfortable with him now. She did know him. “You are still a jerk, you know.”

“When you call me jerk is that like when Irina calls Jack, ‘idiot’?”

Judy felt herself blushing and changed the subject. “So...What do your doctors say about your progress?”

“They say I push too hard. Which can be--”

“That can be advantageous under certain circumstances,” Judy said primly. Take that, Mr. Irresistible Indeed. Humph.

Dave blinked. She had retreated, then lobbed the ball back in their little game. Wow. She took him by surprise again and again. He liked it. And she was a blonde. With lab rats. Jack was correct - they might as well send out the invitations tomorrow if he had his way. “You didn’t....You know, you are a cruel woman, to torment me this way, knowing what you know.”

“Which is what?” Judy flung herself down on her couch and tucked her legs under herself.

“You know, what you said earlier tonight.”

“Tell me all about it. I’m a trained professional, you know.” Judy laughed. This game was fun.

“Are we going to play doctor?” Dave asked eagerly.

“I have a couch.” Judy smoothed her hand over the soft microfiber surface. She’d like to see him lying down right here and...

“I know how to lie down.”

“I think that right now that’s the only position you can do.”

“Is that a problem?” Dave shifted so that the water was hitting his back.

“No....” Judy trailed off as she realized the origin of the noise from the other end of the call. “Dave, um...where are you?”

“In the shower, why?”

“You’re talking to me from the...shower?” Judy squeaked, sitting up straight.

“Yes.” Dave raised his eyebrows. Hmm. She liked that idea? Wet was always good, of course and--
“What are you doing-“

“Taking your suggestion earlier tonight and using this handy dandy soap dispenser and my hand to circumvent the problem-“

“You are NOT!” Judy shrieked. “Not while I’m on the phone with you-“

“Can you think of a better time?”

“Yes. When I can wat....” Judy slammed to a halt by slapping her hand over her mouth.

“Ohmigod. I didn’t say that. I didn’t say that.”

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist - or at least not when I’m not available to get them off you, Judy.” Dave laughed. “No, seriously. I’m just taking a shower.”

“Oh. Just taking a shower.” Judy took a breath and then felt heat wash over her again. That meant he was-

“Getting clean by getting wet. Of course, first I had to get naked-“

“Bye!” Judy squeaked again and dropped the phone onto the couch in her haste.

“Do you like that idea? Is that what you want? Just tell-“ Dave’s amused - too amused - voice came from the cushions. She swore as she pressed multiple buttons and it began beeping at her.

“Syd, Syd....”

Vaughn’s voice finally penetrated and Sydney looked up, embarrassed at her emotional display. Surely her father and mother had never cried like this, had never broken down, but...No. She had seen her father crying that night when Laura had died, crying in Dave’s arms. It was okay. If her father could cry, then it was okay for her to cry. But enough was enough. Refocus, she told herself, on what you want and how to obtain it. Strategize, already! She nodded. “Dr. Barnett said that maybe having her back here, in your face, was like reopening the wound. Like...” Sydney bit her lip. “How my father felt when she walked back in. You think it’s over, that you’ve handled it, that the grief is over, then...it slaps you in the face. Anyway, she said that just like it took my father a while to handle her return - almost going through the grief process again- it will take you a while to work through your grief?“

Vaughn froze, then began to slowly smile. “That’s....That’s it. I think. Part of it. And the truth is...I’ve been afraid and frozen and...Well, maybe we can talk about it with her?”

Sydney nodded. “Yes. If you’re willing to-“
Vaughn wrapped his arms more tightly around Sydney as he said quietly, “I’m willing to commit to you. To trying, no, to finding my way through this thicket and make a path to you.”

“A path to red jello?” Sydney asked with a small smile. She sat up on the couch and looked carefully at Vaughn. He looked anxious but...perhaps too comfortable sitting there. Susan had told her that it was not a good strategy for a man to get too comfortable. It led to complacency. And given the fact that she was feeling anything but complacent, he shouldn't be so sanguine either.

“Yes,” Vaughn groaned. Wait until Weiss heard about that particular idiocy.

”You’re not moving back in,” Sydney said firmly. She pushed his arms away gently, but firmly, then stood up.

“I’m not?” Vaughn blinked at the sudden change of topic and Sydney's sudden movement away from the couch and toward...uh-oh...the door. "I thought..." I thought it would be just that easy, he realized. Apologize and promise to work on it and...everything would be back to normal. Or what passed for normal. But she wanted...what? "What do you want? You don't want me to live here anymore?"

“No. I think that until we work it out we need some...space. I think that’s best. Or at least it is for me, right now,” Sydney said and tipped her chin challengingly.

“I...see.” Vaughn nodded. She was holding back until she knew her investment might pay off. A life lesson she had learned through the years. One he had applied himself. It was not so...attractive seeing it from the other side. In fact, it was...almost insulting to one's self-esteem. He swallowed.

“I think I deserve to know that you’re willing to completely share your life and yourself with me before I share my apartment with you.”

“You want a commitment? Or rather, tell me what you do want. Please," Vaughn added as Sydney stared at the door. Was he about to be tossed out? Again? The third time for the night?

“Let me...” Sydney took a deep breath. “My mother said - and just think of her as my mother, okay? Try that. Think of her as just...my mother. My mother said that men don’t always get what women mean and that women need to be very clear. So I’ll make this perfectly clear. I love you. Deeply, passionately. I want you. I need you. I also need a man who wants and needs me the same way.” Like my father loves my mother, Sydney thought and nodded. “So, yes. I want a commitment. I deserve a commitment.”

“What else?” Vaughn asked, wanting to ensure that he understood this time.

“I want... I want to get married. Have children. Have a life. A forever kind of life. I want a ring and--” Sydney stopped and leaned against the door, looking down at the latch. She finally looked up and said firmly, “I want what my parents have-“

“You must be joking-“

“Hurry up, Jack!” Irina broke their long kiss and slid her arms down his naked chest. She tugged hard on the chains holding the sling seat to the winch.

“Here, Miss Impatient. Get into this...” Jack urged as he lifted Irina up by the waist and deposited her on the sling seat of Dave’s lift. He ran his hand down her bare back and curved his hands around her bottom, moving her into the position he wanted.

Irina swung slightly, looking out at the moonlight on the water and settling back into the warmth of Jack's embrace. “I can’t believe we didn’t think of this first.”

“I know. We’re slipping.” Jack smiled as he rubbed his slickened hardness across her curves and then underneath, meeting her wetness.

“We wouldn’t be if you would just put your-“ Irina gasped. “Yes. Like that...Wait!” Irina planted her foot in the sand and stopped the movement of the swing as well as Jack’s initial thrust.

“Damn it! For the love of God, you’re about to get swung to China, woman-“ Jack complained, shoving at Irina’s butt and sending her swinging through the air, laughing. When she swung past him, he slapped at her butt and glared at her, crossing his arms over his chest.

“The test, the test-“ Irina bit her lip to keep from laughing. Jack was so much fun to push. Of course...her eyes drifted downward as she twisted past him before stopping herself, it was more fun when they were pushing at each other. But first things first. He had never passed that test earlier. “Those heels - what are they called?”

“What. The. Hell. You’re not wearing any shoes!“

“Those heels I was wearing earlier when I graciously allowed you to...plunder me-“

“Oh, the pirate game. So, how did I plunder you when you were on top?”

“You can top from the bottom-“

“Top is not a verb.”

“It is in the Derevko dictionary.”

“I thought you were a Bristow.”
“The unabridged Derevko dictionary also includes all words and phrases found in the Bristow volume, such as, “There is no substitute for -“

“Driving me insane? And I didn’t top from the bottom, if we want to use a noun as a verb, of which I do not approve.”

“Are you seriously planning on debating the use of gerunds when we could be-“

“Who, me? Of course not. I live to make you happy. Didn’t I just - as Dave said - allowed you to ravage me in the closet. Being the passive, accommodating sort that I am.”

Irina laughed loudly and then said in a flat, midwestern, American accent, “You’re the full of shit sort that you are.”

“Why are we debating this when we could be using this swing seat to its full potential because you know me-“

“Da, da. You’re all about the potential.” Irina pushed back and sent the sling spinning slightly.

Dave turned over as he heard the faint creak of the chains of his sling seat in the wind, punched his pillow, and fell asleep with a smile on his face to dream of using that swinging seat with Judy. Someday. Soon. After she finished being angry with him about the falling game.

“You were so helpful tonight, Eric,” Susan whispered as she pulled him into her apartment with such force he nearly tripped.

“I was. Do I get a reward?” Weiss asked, slamming and locking the door behind him. Please, patron saint of poor espionage agents just looking to get laid, please let the world be safe for democracy tonight.

“Yes. Of course.” Susan smiled as she backed away toward the living room, crooking her finger at him. “Come here.”

“I do like your methods.” Weiss smiled in return as he followed her.

“I know you do. Take off your clothes.” Susan pointed at the couch.

Eric grinned as he tossed his clothes onto the couch. He pointed at a book on the coffee table. “I thought we were going to discuss dog training methods from that book tonight.”

“Oh, we are...” Susan smiled as she reached behind the sofa cushion and pulled out a leather strap.
“What is that? A...leash?” Weiss cocked his head, examining the circle of leather. “I don’t get it. It’s too small for any dog I know of or....” He grinned. “A slave collar.”

“You’re correct.” Susan grinned as well. “It’s a man leash.”

“A man leash? What the hell - You gotta be kidding me!” Eric looked at Susan. “Wait. I didn’t know about this stuff, so how did you know about this stuff?” He held up his hand. “Wait. Let me guess. One of the triplets of terror - Jack, Irina, or Dave?”

“Do you honestly think Jack or Dave would have told me-“

“Irina? When?”

“While she was waiting for one of her appointments, I got to talking about my theories about men and dogs-“

“Yeah, write it down in a book, Susie Q and tell the story.”

“Don’t make me angry, Eric.”

“Why? Are you going to rub my nose in it? You know how much I like it when you push my face down-“

“Ahem.” Susan held up the leash and they both watched it swing back and forth.

“Ahem. Go on.”

“So, I was telling her my brilliant theories and she started to laugh about it and then told me that if I really wanted to try them out I needed a man leash. I didn’t know what it was and well, anyway, a few days later, a package came in the mail. Gift wrapped!” Susan laughed.

“Some present.” Weiss laughed as he imagined opening gifts under the Bristow Christmas tree.

“Yes, it is. Do you think you’ll be saying thank you to me when we’re done with it?”

“Susie Q, I always say please and thank you, now don’t I?”

“Yes. You are well trained.” Susan laughed as she snapped the leash in place. “Come, boy.”

“That is my plan.”

“Yeah. I’m just full of potential-“ Jack circled his hardness with his hand and began pumping it until moisture appeared at the tip.

“Even after this afternoon? I’m so impressed...” Irina teased, licking her lips. Where was her camera when she needed it? “But I’d rather be full again...”

“Believe me, I’d rather you were full again...” Jack whispered huskily, his lips kissing her shoulder and his teeth nipping at her skin, while rubbing his hardness against her bare bottom.

“So answer my question, you idiot. What type of heel was I wearing earlier this evening?” Irina shivered as Jack’s mouth made sharp little stings up and down her shoulder and then...yessss....the back of her neck- “Whaaat-“

“Are you serious?” Jack grabbed the chains and hauled Irina back up against him with a thud.

“Absolutely.” Why had she started this game again, Irina wondered, as her skin rubbed his naked flesh, feeling the slightly-hair roughened texture of his skin.

Jack groaned. “Is this the teacher game?”

“Yes. And if you answer correctly, you’ll get an A.”

“A for your ass...” Jack laughed, stroking her bottom with his hands, feeling her muscles quiver slightly at his touch. He slid his hands downward and touched her wetness, feeling her jump nearly off of the swing.

“Only an A student can take such liberties!” Irina reprimanded, touching her foot to the ground and once again spinning away. “And you are currently working on an F-“

“F is for fu-“

“Jonathan Donahue Bristow!” Irina gasped in mocking shock. “Do you want detention?”

“Are you in charge of the punishment? If so, then-“

Irina planted her foot into the sand. “F is for...focus!”

“No, listen. Listen. Let me tell you what I see. Not the pain, although that’s there, hopefully in the past-“

“Yeah, right. Tell that to Jack when he’s reliving-“ Vaughn snapped.
“I know. Stop it. Focus!” Sydney snapped her fingers impatiently in front of his face. “Let me tell you what I see. I see two people who could have taken the easy way out. Both of them. My mother would have been the worse off, in my opinion. If she’d taken the easy way, pursuing Rambaldi, she would have lost so much. Obsessives never end well. In the end, best case scenario? She would have ended up rotting in prison. Worst case? She would have died an ignominious death and been buried in an anonymous grave. My father...” She sighed. “He would have grieved and then you know what? He would have - this time - gotten over it and moved on.” Sydney stared at Vaughn. He fidgeted uncomfortably. Huh. Using field techniques did work. Her parents were right. A game was a game.

“I get the point.”

“Good. But they chose a different, harder path. They’re stronger for it and you know what? They love each other more now, deeper and I’d say better than they did before.”

“Really?” Vaughn asked, honestly surprised. Sydney tended -- or had before -- to idealize the past. The past she couldn’t remember, of course. Had she finally decided to focus on the present and the future? Good idea and... He dropped his head. A good idea and one he should share with himself.

“So, perhaps, after we work through this, we’ll be stronger for it,” Sydney suggested.

“Perhaps?” Vaughn’s voice rose in pitch and he cursed silently. What the hell was she doing? After all of this, she had doubts? Well, no wonder, the way he had acted she probably was starting to think she could do better and find someone...easier. Had he made a huge tactical error? Now that he knew what he wanted most, how to recover?

“Yes. If it works out.” Sydney stood her ground and tipped her chin up as she assessed Vaughn. Hmm. If the slightly-shellshocked and needy look in Vaughn’s eyes was any indication, it appeared her parents were right - people wanted most what they could not have. Why was she doubting them anyway? If ever any two people knew how to play the game between a man and a woman, it was Jack and Irina Bristow. “Speaking of out...I think it’s time for you to leave. Don’t you have a dog somewhere, anyway?”

Vaughn blinked in surprise. He had truly been hoping she was just making a point. He asked anxiously, wondering how he had ever contemplated just calmly leaving this woman behind, “You’re really serious? It’s not just Jack-“

“My father did what I was too chicken to do. He was being overprotective. Which...I’ve learned to appreciate. Sometimes. But I am a grown woman and so...This is my decision. It’s time for us to stop sharing a space until we can decide how or if to share our lives.”

Vaughn nodded slowly and put his hand on the door. He smiled tentatively. “Can I at least have a kiss good night?”
Sydney nodded. When Vaughn moved toward her, she turned her head and pointed at her cheek. "Right there."

Vaughn rolled his eyes. "I'm going to be so punished, aren't I?"

"If you're lucky." Sydney raised an eyebrow and opened the door. "See ya later. Say hello to Donovan for me."

"And don't let the door hit me on the way out?" Vaughn asked, walking across the threshold.

"Oh, I don't care if the door hits you or not," Sydney noted and slammed the door in his face. Three times. A lucky number. She turned and walked away. She had plans to make.

“I see, Ms. Teacher. Will I get detention?” Jack asked eagerly. He loved that game and they hadn’t played it in a very long time. Decades, in fact.

“You’ll get a psych evaluation, because clearly you are insane-“ Once again Irina put her foot into the sand to send the seat swinging, but her foot slipped on the loose granules.

Jack grabbed the chains and held her still. “Why?”

“Because you’re joking when we could be making love...” Irina paused. For Jack, teasing her was just as intimate as making love. She smiled. He was hers. “I know what you’re doing. You’re delaying, because you don’t remember the name of that heel!” Humph. He could remember endless, infinite details about every foreign country and couldn’t remember the name of a type of woman’s shoe heel? Men. A lack of priorities. “Do you?”

“Of course I do. It was....Henry. No, I was thinking of Henry the Eighth.”

“And why is that?” Irina sighed in defeat. He was in one of those moods. The mood to torture her. She sighed again when he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back up against his front, then ran his hands up her torso, cupping her breasts. “I said...”

“I heard you. I had other priorities on my mind, such as feeling your breasts. Have I told you recently how soft they are? How much I love -“

“The heel, Jack, the heel!”

“You have a foot fetish now? I’m really not sure about that...Oh yes, the heel. Was it a stiletto? Or am I getting the sharp point of a stiletto heel confused with these sharp points?” Jack asked in a deep tone as his fingers pinched her hardened nipples into tighter nubs. “No, that can’t be. Because a pair of shoes has only two heels and you....” He trailed one hand down between her legs and delved inside her soft folds. “Have three hard points.”

“Jack...” Irina chuckled weakly as she pressed herself back against the hardness teasing the curves of her bottom. “The heel...”

“Oh, we’re still playing that game... A king. Henry the Eighth, isn’t it?”

“No. And why were you thinking of him? What elliptical thought-“

“Elliptical? I like circles.” Jack’s fingers circled her over and over. “I was just thinking that he was insane, with all those wives. I can barely keep track of the one.”

Humph. In her opinion, he had not trouble keeping track of just which ways drove her craaaazy.... She focused on an incoming wave and fought to avoid getting swept away. What had they been talking about? Oh yes. The king. “At least you haven’t beheaded the one.”

“Yet. I’m seriously considering it the next time the one delays...” Jack slid a long finger inside Irina and felt her jump, then moan. He grinned and licked the side of her neck. “So...A French king...Charles?”

“No.” Irina gritted her teeth as Jack’s finger moved in and out.

“Henri?” Jack slid his finger out and slowly moved up to rest on a pulse point and then just stayed there.

Irina pushed against his hand. She almost laughed aloud when he merely moved his finger away. One of these days she was going to tie him down and torture him and...aaaah!...What was his finger doing and then...he stopped. “Nyet! I would have given you points for that when you originally said Henry--”

“Honey, you’ve already given me your points...” Jack bit Irina’s shoulder as his finger slid over and over that hard softness and inside. “Give me-“

“The heel-“

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a tendency to focus on low priority issues, or is that called obsessing-I’ll have to ask Dave or Judy for a professional definition--“

“Shut up and tell me-“ Irina growled. “I swear, I’m going to kill you-“ She broke off as his hand left the juncture of her thighs.

“Louis. It was a Louis heel.” Jack pulled Irina back with his hands on her waist and slightly bent his knees as he moved forward. God, she was hot. Perfect.

“You knew all a...long.” Irina gasped as Jack slid inside her in one hard thrust. “Like that, yes...”

“Like that...” Jack put his hands on her hips and pushed her forward then back again. “Or you could lay your stomach on the sling and hold on with your hands while I-“

“Oooh, I like that position,” Irina noted, wiggling against Jack while his hands slid from her hips over her skin once again.

“I know.” Jack took short little teasing thrusts as his fingers found what he was seeking. Soft, warmth, wetness, need and desire. All for him.

“Next time-“ Irina ground out, pushing back at his hardness, then pushing forward against his hands. Moving frantically, searching and seeking for what he could give, she sent the seat swinging slightly, grasping the chains with tight fingers as his fingers...oh yes. She panted, the sound loud against the whisper of the water stroking the sand, but ...yes, he was panting too. Yes. Her excitement had always fed his own. Yes, he was pushing into her longer, harder, quicker now.

“Why not this-“ Jack bit his lip, then bent his head and bit the back of her neck as his fingers pushed then circled her just the way she liked. And if she liked it, then so did he. “Yes,” he whispered as he felt her sheath begin to tighten around him. “Why not this time...Just get off--”

“I will!” Irina cried out.

“Okay, then-“ Jack gritted his teeth together, then bent forward and bit her shoulder. She groaned loudly. If she wanted to move, fine, but she needed to do it now or he was going to make a bigger mess than she’d been anticipating. And Dave would not be happy about the condition of his seat.

“I mean, I won’t get off of the seat-“ Irina wiggled, searching for a way to push and press, unable to find a way to control the movement as she hung suspended in the air. Jack’s hands and body were taking her...She closed her eyes, feeling everything begin to spin.

“Why not?” Jack asked, confused. Of course, he was confused, he thought, since all of the blood in his body was in his groin! And she was still talking? What was going on with her tonight? He was going to kill her. One of these days...He pushed into her again and again, harder and harder, while his fingers slid and circled against her soft yielding flesh.

“Because, damn you, I’m....” Irina groaned and then moaned. “So close...hurry up!”

“Don’t scream,” Jack warned, his hand stopping its plucking of her nipple to clamp warningly on her breast. “Do not. I sent the guards around to the front, but if you scream they will come running and see you...come--” Jack broke off as Irina arched against him and pulled his hand to her mouth. She bit it as she flooded him with wetness, then gasped and released it as he returned the favor.

Rinnngggg

“Hello?” Judy answered, her voice thick with sleep.

“I’m sorry to wake you up...” Dave said apologetically. “Although I am now enjoying the game of wondering what you’re wearing.”

“It’s purple.” Judy smiled and looked at the clock. Dave. The last time one of that crew had woken her up, it was Irina telling her that life was about to change. And this time? “Why did you call?”

“It occurs to me that I failed.”

“How so? Couldn’t fulfill your shower...obligations?”

Dave laughed. “No. I wanted, needed to ask you out on a date. A real one.”

“Oh!” Judy smiled. “I guess I just...”

“Assumed? Well, you can be assured of my interest in you, of course. But I do want to ask you on a date. Anytime you like. As soon as-“

“This is all over? Thank you, Dave. I would like that. Where would you like to go?”

“Do couples still do dinner and a movie?”

“They do. Not that I’ve been to a movie in so long, but...”

“Maybe ice cream afterwards?” Dave asked eagerly as he remembered her mouth on that spoon.

“Absolutely and with whipped cream,” Judy agreed with a smile on her lips and in her voice.

“And maybe the second date, you can show me your rats?” Dave asked in a rush.

Judy began to laugh until tears flooded her eyes. “I wish...I wish...I wish you were here with me now.”

“This reminds me of the glider...” Irina whispered as Jack sat on the seat and she sat on his lap gingerly. When the chains creaked but held, they gently swayed, while watching the moon dance on the water.

“The damn glider.” Jack groaned. He held his hand up and peered, looking for bite marks. Better than a broken hand, he supposed. “I’ve just been waiting ever so eagerly to hear about the damn glider. To say nothing of the screen door.”

“You know...” Irina jumped down off of the seat. She smiled coaxingly as Jack got off of the seat and began backing away from her. “I really loved that glider. Sitting on the porch at night, just the two of us, or with Dave, or with Sydney...” She sighed melodramatically and pounced forward, grabbing him by the arm, nearly falling forward as the sand shifted under their feet. “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a glider again?”

“Yeah, sure.” Jack rolled his eyes. “Except that we no longer have Arvin’s ego-compensating-sized truck or Dave’s strong back to lift it onto the porch.”

Irina sighed again and leaned into Jack’s hard body. “That’s too bad...because I loved that squeak, you know.” She slid her hands down his back to his butt and squeezed hard. “I’d love to reward you for giving me that squeak back.”

“Yes, well, maybe later. We do have other games in play, you know...” Jack looked out at the water. It was going to be okay, he told himself. He could do it. And if not, he had people who cared surrounding him to catch him if he fell. This time he would focus on that and not on what he didn’t have. And it was only temporary and...what was she doing?

Irina licked the dampness at the base of Jack’s neck. “Will you come running after me as soon as you can?”

“Will you make it worth my while to find you?” Jack arched an eyebrow down at Irina. He grinned as she ignored it. Then he lost his grin as she bent her head and kissed a path down to his nipple.

Slowly licking the flesh that grew to a hard point under his tongue, Irina whispered, “I’ll always make it worth your while to find me.” She kissed the skin over his pounding heart and held onto his arms with a tight grip.

“Really? Will you wear your chain?” Jack demanded, twisting his hand in her hair, and pulling her head back. “I’m getting impatient about that chain and let me assure you that if I don’t see it soon- even a damn picture of it would do right now and- Where’s the chain? I saw that it’s not in the box anymore and I’m telling you--“

“That damn chain...” Irina hid her smile by pulling Jack’s mouth to hers for a long, slow, sweet kiss as the sand under their feet held firm.

TBC at Chapter 2013: Part 2 cont’d