(no subject)
To: Itachi and Neji
From: Rock Lee
Date: Thu, 31 August 2006
Subject: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!11!
NEJI AND ITACHI'S HAPPY DAY
by the Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha
"Itachi," said Neji, as he was carried by his loving husband over the threshold of their cozy bungalow for two, "is that the tantalizing aroma of cookies I smell upon the air?"
"Indeed it is!" said Itachi, and pranced into the kitchen with his lovely bride in his arms, because Itachi is strong and manly and treats Neji the way a Neji should be treated!! And then Itachi fed cookies to Neji and the cookies were shaped like hearts and stars and tiny pink shuriken because pink is one of the prettiest colors ever and the sprinkles were sparkly because sparkles are wonderful and everyone should sparkle! (A/N: I am in fact sparkling as I write this story!!!!!)
"Gasp!" gasped Neji! "They're so sweet!"
"Not as sweet as you," said Itachi, gazing into Neji's clear lavender orbs.
"Oh Itachi!"
"Oh Neji!"
"Oh Itachi!!!"
"OH NEJI!!!!!"
And then they embraced in the sunset even though it was 3:30 PM, because the actual time and location matters not at all when faced with the mighty powers of the purity of one's heart. :)
Their sunset loving was only interrupted by a tiny fluffy white kitten mewing at their feet.
Itachi smiled and petted the kitten, whose name was Angelica Thumbellina Princessca Snowball Fluffington the Third. "It's a good thing I decided to shun the darkness in my tortured soul and take in stray kittens in my spare time."
"They're like children to me!" exclaimed Neji happily.
"Oh, Nejikins, that reminds me of how you've always wanted a family of swirly-purple-eyed babies!"
"I do!" said Neji. "I would teach them a proper hair care regimen and do aerobics with them! Because proper cardiovascular health is important!"
"Then I have good news!"
"What's that, my love-weasel with kaleidoscope-eyes? You signed us up to the 24-hour gym??"
"EVEN BETTER! I'm pregnant! And we're going to have twins!!!!1"
"OMG!" said Neji!
And then they held hands and jumped up and down because they were really happy and they named the babies Lee Jr. and Gai Jr. because of the way Lee and Gai had taught them to embrace their shining youth and grasp it to its fullest potential. And Lee and Gai were the best uncles ever. Because they taught the babies to sparkle and make dramatic speeches and had them crawl laps around the cabin until they were old enough to run laps around the cabin and then they did that until the sun set dramatically over the lake, and Itachi and Neji held hands and kissed each other in their matching green jumpsuits.
R/R please! ò_ób IF I GET FIFTY REVIEWS I WILL WRITE A SEQUEL
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((OOC: Techinically this should have been done yesterday, which is why the date on the email is August 31. But I was brain dead from school. So. Also, thank Lee-mun for the awesome bad fic. ♥))