Hello Camp Fuck U Die! This is Sanji's computer speaking. I have an important message to relay to you that you may not have known! You see, this chef has been keeping a secret from you, he's really not who he says he is!
Who is he then? He's Russel Tringham, the Imitation Alchemist, come back from the future and not wanting to tell any of you!
Don't believe me? Just take a look at this:
Edit: So, if I kick the shit out of this computer, can I get a new one? Because I think I will for telling shitty lies.
Edit 2: While I'm here, I have plenty of the food from last week's weather stored up, anyone have any requests? Even leftovers can be amazing.