(no subject)
OK, first off: YES, CAMP HAS A LOST AND FOUND BOOTH AND I RUN IT. Really, I can forgive the newbies, but some of you people seriously need to broaden your horizons. It's been around for over a year, for criminy's sake.
Anyway, despite not being especially well known, the booth gets a surprisingly high amount of stuff turned in-- usually during the night in the handy dandy drop off slot. Now, I don't have any way of knowing who drops it off or where they found it, but I still hang on to it just in case someone comes along to claim it. The only problem is I have yet to install a dimensional portal in this thing -- so expensive, and I hear they collect dust like nobody's beeswax -- and thus, I eventually have to clear out stuff that's been here awhile to make room. Which brings us to today's announcement:
I have a box full of lost virginity.
"But Lupin!" you say, "You can't have virginity in a box! It's intangible! Unless you have a box full of broken hymens which would be REALLY REALLY GROSS WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, YOU PERVERTED MONSTER?"
Firstly, you're a jerk and stop yelling at me for no reason. Secondly, no, it's not a box full of broken hymens. Ew. It's just what I said it is: lost virginity. Of both sexes. So, if you've ever lost your virginity and want to reclaim it, today is your lucky day. Much like a scarf, when it comes to virginity, one size fits all!
Lupin's Lost and Found claims no responsibility of social lameness, renewed optimism about life, wet dreams, or butt pimples that may result from installing virginity.
((ETA: Ahahaha... so. In an unplanned turn of events, Heather hit Lupin on the head with virginity. He's mentally 10 for now. Yeah... 10. Don't ask. Aaaaaaand it wore off. Phew!))
Anyway, despite not being especially well known, the booth gets a surprisingly high amount of stuff turned in-- usually during the night in the handy dandy drop off slot. Now, I don't have any way of knowing who drops it off or where they found it, but I still hang on to it just in case someone comes along to claim it. The only problem is I have yet to install a dimensional portal in this thing -- so expensive, and I hear they collect dust like nobody's beeswax -- and thus, I eventually have to clear out stuff that's been here awhile to make room. Which brings us to today's announcement:
I have a box full of lost virginity.
"But Lupin!" you say, "You can't have virginity in a box! It's intangible! Unless you have a box full of broken hymens which would be REALLY REALLY GROSS WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, YOU PERVERTED MONSTER?"
Firstly, you're a jerk and stop yelling at me for no reason. Secondly, no, it's not a box full of broken hymens. Ew. It's just what I said it is: lost virginity. Of both sexes. So, if you've ever lost your virginity and want to reclaim it, today is your lucky day. Much like a scarf, when it comes to virginity, one size fits all!
Lupin's Lost and Found claims no responsibility of social lameness, renewed optimism about life, wet dreams, or butt pimples that may result from installing virginity.
((ETA: Ahahaha... so. In an unplanned turn of events, Heather hit Lupin on the head with virginity. He's mentally 10 for now. Yeah... 10. Don't ask. Aaaaaaand it wore off. Phew!))