(no subject)
[Ah, the Mess Hall. The great leveller of Camp Fuck You Die: from the oldest counsellor to the youngest camper, the richest dude to the poorest rude, everyone comes here to eat breakfast. Or maybe it’s lunch? Dinner? It’s breakfast here, so what I say goes. In any case, I hope everyone’s been enjoying their food so far, because a German showboat just sailed in five minutes ago and is now jumping up on to one of the tables. Don't worry, it's probably not yours.]
Achtung, baby! It's time I introduced myself to camp at large, and in the absence of a proper stage, this will have to do! My name is Klavier Gavin, and I'm one of the new counsellors hired by the Fräulein Director. My job is of the utmost importance to anyone with even the vaguest desire to entertain: I am the stage manager. It's not a role I've taken on personally before, but I have years of experience hitting the stage, so I know the ins and outs better than most. Rest assured that I'll be able to handle any event you wish to stage, should you want or need my help. Some people learn best by working it out themselves, but it would be a mistake to ignore the help of a seasoned professional!
And ja, I know, there is no stage in this camp. How a place this big has gotten by without an area devoted to that kind of entertainment is beyond me. The letter I was sent implied there would be one. But it's no use crying over spilt milk or smoke on the water; all we can do is find alternatives, and I'm sure there are plenty. Having a performance at the volcano would really heat things up, as long as precautions were taken to avoid third degree burns. I'll be glad to hear any other suggestions you have as well.
Anyway! That is what I'm here for, and I look forward to jamming with all of you. I'll take any questions you have right after I finish these waffles. Thanks for your undivided attention!
[And down he hops.]
Achtung, baby! It's time I introduced myself to camp at large, and in the absence of a proper stage, this will have to do! My name is Klavier Gavin, and I'm one of the new counsellors hired by the Fräulein Director. My job is of the utmost importance to anyone with even the vaguest desire to entertain: I am the stage manager. It's not a role I've taken on personally before, but I have years of experience hitting the stage, so I know the ins and outs better than most. Rest assured that I'll be able to handle any event you wish to stage, should you want or need my help. Some people learn best by working it out themselves, but it would be a mistake to ignore the help of a seasoned professional!
And ja, I know, there is no stage in this camp. How a place this big has gotten by without an area devoted to that kind of entertainment is beyond me. The letter I was sent implied there would be one. But it's no use crying over spilt milk or smoke on the water; all we can do is find alternatives, and I'm sure there are plenty. Having a performance at the volcano would really heat things up, as long as precautions were taken to avoid third degree burns. I'll be glad to hear any other suggestions you have as well.
Anyway! That is what I'm here for, and I look forward to jamming with all of you. I'll take any questions you have right after I finish these waffles. Thanks for your undivided attention!
[And down he hops.]