Mar 30, 2009 09:11
*Standing over there is a guy who looks kinda like Liquid Snake... except he has sunglasses on, his hair is tied back, and he's lacking a British accent. Hmm...*
Good morning campers, this is Master McDonell Miller. I'm a former boot camp instructor, and I'm here to teach everyone valuable survival techniques so at least 80% of you can survive your first month here.
If any of you are going to be visiting the tentacle lake monster, don't eat within 30 minutes beforehand or you may get drowsy. If it grabs you, try shaking salt on it to get it to let you go. Boil any water you get from the lake before drinking it; even if the tentacle monster drags you under, avoid swallowing any of the water as it could be full of bacteria and parasites. If the tentacle monster manages to rape you, take a day off and call your friends for emotional support.