[itp: loud noises!]

[rimshot]

[somewhere just off the infamous center of camp, a hobo in a hoodie is introducing a crowbar to one of the loudspeaker poles with a ringing clang.]

One! Two! Three! Four!

[and then he does it again.]

[it's ... kind of loud.]

(standard intro warnings apply. currently: consider post dropped, let me know if you desperately want continuation.)