(Untitled)

[fu_noobspeaker]

Well howdy, campers and counselors! I heard that little bugger has been makin' its rounds again - sure is a pesky little critter, huh? But don't you worry, I'm gonna get us the biggest ol' can of Raid anyone can find that'll take down that sucker in a jiffy! Or maybe a big ol' roach hotel . . .Anyway, y'all have been havin' a week, so I baked you

Comments

[on_a_horse]

These are quite delicious.

[nocturnemission]

*Sigh*

So manly.

[judging_you]

[puppy nose + the manly smell of Old Spice = ???]

[on_a_horse]

Why hello there, superior example of the canine species. Has the smell of my Old Spice body wash brought you here?

[judging_you]

Aye. It has.

[on_a_horse]

Well then, talking dog, would you like a complimentary sample-sized packet of Old Spice body wash so you too can be wreathed in the fresh scent?

(I do caution that it would be toxic to ingest large amounts of it, so if you don't have a convenient way to transform into a creature with opposable thumbs so you can easily rip the tag open or operate a sharp object with vague precision, I highly suggest finding a friend who can.)

Additionally, do you have a name other than talking dog that you would like me to address you by?

[judging_you]

I am Gabranth.

[on_a_horse]

Hello, Gabranth. Are you a dog that talks, another being that turns into a dog that talks, a hallucination of my mind, or some option that I have clearly missed?

[judging_you]

The latter. 'Tis an effect of this place.

[on_a_horse]

That is quite unfortunate. Are such effects common in this place?

[judging_you]

They are not uncommon.

[on_a_horse]

Sadly, I have nothing to offer for your condition, except for the aforementioned complimentary sample-sized packet of Old Spice body wash.

Alternatively, if you do not believe that would be useful, how about a good scratch behind the ears?

[judging_you]

I find myself in hardly a position to argue either.

[on_a_horse]

[the best damn headscratch you can imagine goes here!]

[it may be spurting strips of bacon and a squeaky chew toy or two]

[judging_you]

[on those bacon strips so fast]

[youmustlickit]

[You may be bending space-time a little bit but you have to get your sniff on this delightfully MANLY SMELLING HUMAN]

WH4T 1S TH4T SM3LL!!