(Untitled)

[fuckyou_chorus]

[ instead of plants growing out of the ground, there are hands.

so many hands. reaching for the sky, sticking straight out of the ground, extended... yet lifeless. ]

Comments

[smoothcriminal]

Jet Li?

[wintheinternet]

Martial arts kung-fu master that always says he's gonna retire and has like ten last films? Ringin' a bell?

[smoothcriminal]

[this blank look should answer that]

[wintheinternet]

Okay, what we're gonna do is hook you up with some Netflixs, get some Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon up in this, and you are gonna realize what you have been missing.

I'll even throw in some popcorn and diet orange soda.

[smoothcriminal]

Popcorn?

[wintheinternet]

No, no-Oh, hell no, don't tell me you don't know what popcorn is. Are you from outer space? Some dystopian future where you don't have no microwaves?

[smoothcriminal]

What's a microwave?

[wintheinternet]

[sighs, shaking his head]

Yo, just follow me.

[smoothcriminal]

[nods, a bit bewildered]

[wintheinternet]

[going inside and finding some eazy-pop] This is popcorn. Through the magic of modern technology, this bag means you don't have to sit around cracking corn to heat up and eat. Also, it comes with butter in this bag which is half the reason you're eatin' it. It gets all up on your fingers with the salt and is delicious. I don't wanna hear anything about you not having some popcorn without butter when you get back to wherever you're from.

[tossing it in the microwave and getting it started] Word to the wise, the bags always lie or account for altitude differences. Just keep an eye on it, so half of the bag is good to eat and ain't charcoal.

[smoothcriminal]

[watching as it pops up, fascinated]

It's loud.

[wintheinternet]

Yeah, try to ignore all the big and little bangs. It's the fire alarm goin' off that you gotta worry about.

[smoothcriminal]

[nods]