SUDDENLY: MISTLETOE.

[fu_noobspeaker]

Well gosh! It's all so festive, y'all!

[TODAY, there is mistletoe everywhere. Hanging over obnoxious cabin overhangs, planted in inappropriate spots in the mess hall, twisted around various poles and the few trees in farm camp - you name it, you can probably find it there.

happy holidays. :') ]

Comments

[lunadickery]

More time, Mr. Brooks?

((Placeholder!))

[verypointed]

[makes a face]

Mr. Petrov, I think you should stay back. These things are vicious.

[lunadickery]

Please don't tell me that they're sentient.

[verypointed]

Not quite, but they do have other properties. Namely, producing involuntary kisses.

... please feel free to step back.

[lunadickery]

...By involuntary kisses, you mean to say that they force people to kiss, don't you?

[Trying to take a step back, but NOPE THAT ISN'T HAPPENING]

[verypointed]

Of course.

[cringes slightly]

Like what's happening right now.

[lunadickery]

[why are you cringing; I'm the one who has to kiss you]

...And if we do not kiss, I take it we won't be able to move away?

[verypointed]

[What if you have HERPES?]

That is correct.

[lunadickery]

[WHAT IF YOU HAVE IT?]

...Even if we somehow got rid of the plants?

[verypointed]

[Hey I'm all untrodden snow and stuff.]

I think getting rid of the plants would help, but I haven't had the chance to test out that theory.

[Oh heck, reaching out and grabbing your suit to tug you closer]

[lunadickery]

Perhaps you ought to-

[HELLO YOUR FACE IS FAR TOO CLOSE FOR MY LIKING]

-Mr. Brooks.

[verypointed]

I'm sorry, but let's just get this over quickly. My apologies for the intrusion.

[And then he works his way up and tugs at your tie to bring your face EVEN closer and plants a firm kiss on the lips]

[lunadickery]

[THIS IS A VERY BUSINESS LIKE KISS, if kisses could be called that, but it does not make it any less terrible for him]

[verypointed]

[At least there's no tongue]

[lunadickery]

[SMALL MERCIES]

[verypointed]

[I fear you'd bite it off otherwise]