voting post
Will we finally get a Lunamaria tonight? oh come on pleeeeeeaaaase. Dup batch tonight, and you have all your options. The close calls will be reposted tomorrow along with one more batch of dups, because Gmail hates us like nothing else.
Remember!
- Only accepted players can vote. We will ban you if you vote and are not an accepted player.
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- I wrote up a big, informative voting and application FAQ a month ago. Please read it if you haven't already. Please read it if you have any questions related to voting.
- NO THIS IS NOT THE LAST BATCH. The dups just fell more towards the middle of the inbox this time, whereas they were closer to the end the last time.
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Lunamaria Hawke
Series: Gundam SEED Destiny
Applicant #1
Canon: Lunamaria/Luna is one of the pilots aboard the ship, Minerva. She's calm in battles and rather strong-willed (she got over her sister's 'death' pretty fast and even made out with her 'killer'. Whoah.). She normally gets along with others well and is even trusted by her captain to spy on Athrun once, but as of right now, her friendship with Rey is a little sour. She's mostly tomboyish, puts up a tough-girl front and doesn't care much about her looks (she once wondered why her sister needed so many bottles of beauty products). When she's displeased, she shows it openly and may bitch about it indirectly.
Alright. Just because my piloting/shooting skills suddenly sucked and I couldn't shoot down a darn shuttle that will lead to great angst all over the world doesn't mean that I get thrown out of the Minerva... or something. And how the hell did I get here, anyway? I was walking around in the Minerva when someone hit me (whoever knocked me out WILL pay, mark my words) and I woke up loosely tied to a tree with a piece of paper stuck to the tip of my nose.
"Gruelling camp from hell for training purposes", so it says. How wicked. There's also a helpful little note on target practice scribbled at one corner. You'd think the ZAFT Big Names would spare some time to write legibly, or spend some money to actually print brochures.
But it was rather thoughtful of them to send me to a camp where I won't resist to fire at anything. Hello, zombies who tugged at my uniform the moment they saw me? Good target practice indeed. Whoa, they weren't kidding when they said 'camp from hell'. Alas, I still missed some of them but this is practice, and the whole reason why I was sent here, right? And I think it's pretty neat that this handy shotgun they supplied me actually shoots light beams and doesn't run out of energy. All along, I thought those kinds exist only in those kiddy shows with spandex-clad heroes in funny Gundam-like robots Meyrin and I used to watch when we were kids.
There's a crocodile a few feet away and it's eyeing me like how Chairman Dullindal likes to give us his favourite "Who's Your Daddy?" look. Well, I hope these dead zombies will provide a filling meal for it, although I don't know if they can get any deader than dead. Though meat is still meat, I'd rather starve than barbecue a zombie for my lunch, thank you very much.
…is it me or place oddly reminds one of Lodonia Lab?
Applicant #2
Canon: Lunamaria Hawke is one of the three
"super-aces" that graduated from the academy. Just
like Shinn and Rey, she wears the red uniform, proof
of her ability to pwn. She's very determined,
friendly, strong-willed, and to the point. Not afraid
to speak her mind, you know how it goes. Aside from
being one of the big reasons that people watch SEED
Destiny, coughfanboyscough, Lunamaria is best known
for joining Athrun's steadily growing haremher
failed attempts at catching her Commander on the
rebound. After Athrun and her younger sister Meyrin
defect from ZAFT and are "killed" by Shinn, Lunamaria
finds herself on the rebound being the
rebound don't ask me, I never really understood
it in the canon myself turned into Shinn's Stellar
replacement. Recently, however, she has discovered
that Athrun and Meyrin are still alive. Her feelings
are now a bit muddled, and she's not sure which
super-ace with the l33t-piloting skills she should be
fangirling.
Ahh! What's wrong with this place? Everything's out
of control, I've never seen such a mess! I was told
that this was the most prestigious ZAFT re-training
camp currently in existence. True, it has some
advantages over the Academy, but still. At least the
Academy grounds were recognizable as being....grounds?
Shinn, Rey, I can't believe that you would leave ZAFT
like that in the middle of a war! And how, may I ask,
do you think we've been doing with the two of you
gone? We went from four skilled pilots, to three
after Athrun....well, we went to three. Then Shinn
just decided to up and disappear, oh no big deal.
It's not like we're in a WAR or anything. Then Rey
was sent out to find and retrieve Shinn. Well, it's
been a good while now, and even though I've been
trying my best, I can't fight for the ZAFT alone.
That's why Captain finally made the decision to send
me down to this Camp Fuck You Die. She reasoned that
I could bring the three two of you back and
get some training done in the meantime. Well, just
leave it to me! Lunamaria Hawke, going out!
...............
........-
..?!
...what the?! Damn, what are these things?! Are
they..zombies?!! No, it can't be. Zombies don't
really exist, they-
Shit!! Never knew zombies could move so fast!
Where'd I put my weapons? I know I came armed, I
remember putting them......what?! Shotguns? I didn't
bring any guns with me, just-
Ahhh, it doesn't matter, just gotta shoot!
.............I can't...I can't do this...why guns?
Any other weapon but guns, ahh I knew I should have
worked on this...
...............
....maybe training isn't such a bad idea.....
...help?
Poll Vote!
Character: Hatsuharu Sohma
Series: Fruits Basket
Applicant #1
Canon: Hatsuharu , or Haru, is a member of the Sohma family.
He transforms into the ox (of the Chinese Zodiac)
whenever he is hugged by the opposite gender or his
body comes under a great deal of stress. He has a
terrible sense of direction and often gets lost. He's
cool, mellow, and groovy. Doesn't really talk much. He
also has something of a split personality. His darker
side, 'Black Haru', transforms the usually calm,
placid Haru into a rude, violent, raging individual.
His alter ego originated from teasing when he was
young. He was mocked throughout the Sohma family
because of the Juunishi legend. In the legend, the
Rat snuck a ride on the back of the Ox to get into the
party. Because he was tricked by the Rat, the Ox was
seem as inferior. Hatsuharu eventually grew an
extreme hatred for Yuki simply because he was the Rat;
Yuki became his unconscious enemy. When Haru met Yuki
for the first time, he blurted out his blame and
hatred for the Rat. Yuki only replied to this with,
"Really? Are you really stupid?" Yuki eased Haru's
mind with his words, and Haru's explosive Black side
stopped emerging as often as it had been. Now Haru
claims Yuki to be his first love.
… Hmm.. I guess it’s time to face the
circumstances. This doesn’t seem to the way to
Shigure’s house. The path was long and surprisingly
misleading. No enlightenment here. I guess I should
have realized something was … amiss…. after day 6 of
traveling… If Yuki was here, he’d say that I
was lost. Heh. Maybe I should turn back?
Or, you know, take that fork in the road coming up.
It looks like a plan, this trail is going no where,
the one on the right, the dark ominous one headed to
who knows where? That looks promising. There’s even a
sign way down there.
Camp Fuck You Die. Like I said, promising. …hmm…yeah,
that’s right. That’s where Yuki and Tohru are. I
remember hearing something about a camp. That means
Kyo’s here too then. Not surprised at all.
Stupid cat. Hmph. Who else am I forgetting?
Eh…
I feel really good about this decision. I know where
I am and where I’m going.
Ooh, and what are the odds that there’d be someone way
out here. There is no shame in asking for
directions. And yet, the signs of danger
are saying “No, this is not good. Abort.” I’m sure
there’s a rule about not talking to smelly people who
gurglehiss at you.
…
What the bitch? You don’t just kick over someone’s
bike! What. Is. This? Blood? Slime? …He got …SOMETHING
QUESTIONABLE…on my jacket? That SonOfABitch! Come back
here, you pussy! Oh, now you have friends? Only four
of you? Don’t underestimate me, I will fuck your shit
up!
…
… Hn.
…
So. Zombies. I’m exhausted. The people who make those
zombies movies? Yes, they know their stuff. They do
travel in mobs. Slow, disorganized mobs of mindless
eating and bleeding stuff all over the place. I’ll
admit it, after first asserting myself, I made a
strategic retreat. Yep.
… Now Onwards to Yuki Camp!
…Er…
This is like the third time I’ve passed that bush
that’s shaped like a dancing hippo. I know, cause a
bush like that is something that you can’t help but
notice it every time you see it.
Alittle help? …I guess I’ll just have to rely on my
survival instincts to -- wait. Do cows even have
survival instincts?
Damn the man farmer. Damn him.
Applicant #2
Canon: Hatsuharu (usually called Haru) is one of the members of the Sohma family who are cursed with changing into a Chinese zodiac animal when hugged by a member of the opposite sex, or whenever they feel weak. His animal form is the ox. He can attract cattle and talk to them.
Haru appears serene most of the time, unruffled even when his cousin Shigure hits on underage girls or when he's teased about his terrible sense of direction. He is also very kind, looking after Yuki, Rin and Kisa, the family members he cares most about.
However, when the straw breaks the camel's back, he turns into Black Haru, violent and aiming to hurt both physically and emotionally.
Even as White ('Good'), Haru makes comments that can be either viewed as him not caring what people think, or made in a teasing manner; such as when he told Yuki that "maybe we were sisters in a previous life."
Also, his black and white hair? Totally natural. And depending on his mood, he'll even show you undeniable proof.
I'm finally here... wherever 'here' is. That wasn't too hard! Only took a month and a half. Anyway, I say I think this is the right place because this is the one camp I haven't been able to leave after entering. Not that I would want to run away from this place as soon as I collect my family, of course, I am just not used to having partially rotten bodies nuzzling the collar of my coat and tapping my head as they lick what remains of their lips. And I'd rather not get used to it, that coat isn't exactly cheap. (Please let Yuki and the others be safe and well still.)
I don't really know much about camps, especially co-ed camps, but I'd say it's unusual to find the tree on which you've leaned your bike slowly stirring and growing tentacles. Today I've learned that trees don't really like bikes against their trunks. However, they find stealing and passing around bikes while mocking their owners hilarious. I thought I could bribe them with water from the lake, but... was that sound a snort? Okay, you can give that back now, like hell I'm letting mother nature strike back!
...AH DAMN IT, I'M GONNA TEAR YOUR ROOTS AND FEED THEM TO DEERS WITH RABIES GIMME MY BIKE BACK YOU SAP-FILLED ASSWEEDS!!!
*cue tree bitch-slapping*
...In the end, I remembered how plants are supposed to be happier when you talk to them, so I pulled out one of Sensei's books and started reading. As I got to the really interesting scene they put my bike down and sort of made themselves bushier. Trees seem to like big-breasted heroines a lot; I hope no one at camp fits that description.
So that's over but now I've heard rumors of a boy who turns into a cow and squirts milk at people. If that is true, and that boy is indeed here, I want to say:
Thank you for making me feel normal.
Poll Vote!
Character: George Lass
Series: "Dead Like Me"
Applicant #1
Canon: Meet George Lass. George is undead.
She was killed when a toilet seat fell out of space
and onto her. After death, George was drafted into
the ranks of the Grim Reapers, those who take the
souls of people about to die and send them where they
need to go. Despite being cynical, sarcastic, and
prone to irritating people on purpose, she's not a bad
person. George often finds herself caring about
people and situations even when she knows she
shouldn't and she hates the idea of being responsible
(in her opinion) for the deaths of others. As a
result, she went out of her way to break the rules of
Grim Reaping . . .
(and for simplicity's sake, George will be George, not
Millie - her usual identity when dealing with the
living)
Current Mood: what the fuck?!
Current Music: "Hell," Squirrel Nut Zippers
"Peanut, it's time you learned there are worse things
in the world than being a Grim Reaper."
Okay, so I screwed up a few times. So the idea of
spending my afterlife taking souls didn't exactly
thrill me. So I tried contacting my family a few
times. So that guy had to be aware during his
autopsy.
I don't deserve this!
This, being this place. This place
being like what would happen if someone shoved "Night
of the Living Dead," "Dawson's Creek," and the fucking
Cartoon Network into a blender and hit "puree."
This place also being stuck on a tree branch,
surrounded by zombies (oh, crap, are they what
happens when a soul expires?), with only Betty's
polaroid camera, Mason's bag of special "oregano," my
laptop, and a shotgun for company.
How do you load this thing, anyway?
Applicant #2
Canon: A toilet seat from a space station
fell out of the sky and killed George one day. Not a
death to be proud of - okay, she’s kind of annoyed
about it - her life was lackluster and to top it all
off, she died without ever really living, without ever
having a boyfriend, and without ever having her
driver‘s license. Without much drive to do anything.
It’s not the end for her. She gets to be a Grim
Reaper reaping souls from people about to suffer
untimely deaths which means she has a physical body -
though she looks different than she was in life to
people. So no one recognizes her of course. She
receives her ‘reaping assignments’ on post-it notes
given to her by Rube - the father figure in the group
of reapers she works with. But being a Grim Reaper
doesn’t mean a place to stay or cash, so she resorts
to working at Happy Time as a temp - the same job she
had on the day she died. She’s called Missie there.
Her droll, sarcastic humor is always with her even
during her moments of contemplation or angst. As a
Grim Reaper, she experiences things she neglected to
do in life and comes to know herself better in death.
However, she’s still an odd duck and with her wit and
words, faces down life as only death can do. In all
it‘s sarcastic and black humor way.
Excursions in the woods are never my favorite thing,
but what can you do when a hiker takes a climb on the
wild side. Too bad the branch broke. Now he’s on the
dead side. He’s not the only one on the dead side in
these woods because . . . zombies.
Definitely walking. Definitely dead. And definitely
soulless mostly. Really hungry, too, because -
SHIT! That’s my hand - letgoletgoletgo! God. You’re
a shining example of the lower realms of zombie
intellect. Go for the brains! Not the hand!
Fuckfuckfuckfuck - that’s going to take more than
minute to heal. Why not take a finger while you were
at it.
. . . Okay, the shotgun I found comes in handy. So is
the laptop. They were just sitting there waiting for
me . . . I didn’t think it would be so easy to shoot
something. Pull the trigger - BLAM! zombie brains all
over, the last twitch of fingers - maybe it’s because
it was soulless. I hope.
You think you know how strange life can get and well,
maybe you do. Then you’re introduced to death and
you’ll never know how strange death can get. Maybe
you don’t want to know. Hell, I don’t want to know.
Hi. I’m George. I’m sure -
. . . what the fuck is in the lake?
Scratch what I said on knowing how weird life can get.
Replace with - The world doesn’t make any sense.
Didn’t make any sense after death. Didn’t make any
sense before the zombies. It just doesn’t make sense.
The end.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Only accepted players can vote. We will ban you if you vote and are not an accepted player.
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- I wrote up a big, informative voting and application FAQ a month ago. Please read it if you haven't already. Please read it if you have any questions related to voting.
- NO THIS IS NOT THE LAST BATCH. The dups just fell more towards the middle of the inbox this time, whereas they were closer to the end the last time.
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Lunamaria Hawke
Series: Gundam SEED Destiny
Applicant #1
Canon: Lunamaria/Luna is one of the pilots aboard the ship, Minerva. She's calm in battles and rather strong-willed (she got over her sister's 'death' pretty fast and even made out with her 'killer'. Whoah.). She normally gets along with others well and is even trusted by her captain to spy on Athrun once, but as of right now, her friendship with Rey is a little sour. She's mostly tomboyish, puts up a tough-girl front and doesn't care much about her looks (she once wondered why her sister needed so many bottles of beauty products). When she's displeased, she shows it openly and may bitch about it indirectly.
Alright. Just because my piloting/shooting skills suddenly sucked and I couldn't shoot down a darn shuttle that will lead to great angst all over the world doesn't mean that I get thrown out of the Minerva... or something. And how the hell did I get here, anyway? I was walking around in the Minerva when someone hit me (whoever knocked me out WILL pay, mark my words) and I woke up loosely tied to a tree with a piece of paper stuck to the tip of my nose.
"Gruelling camp from hell for training purposes", so it says. How wicked. There's also a helpful little note on target practice scribbled at one corner. You'd think the ZAFT Big Names would spare some time to write legibly, or spend some money to actually print brochures.
But it was rather thoughtful of them to send me to a camp where I won't resist to fire at anything. Hello, zombies who tugged at my uniform the moment they saw me? Good target practice indeed. Whoa, they weren't kidding when they said 'camp from hell'. Alas, I still missed some of them but this is practice, and the whole reason why I was sent here, right? And I think it's pretty neat that this handy shotgun they supplied me actually shoots light beams and doesn't run out of energy. All along, I thought those kinds exist only in those kiddy shows with spandex-clad heroes in funny Gundam-like robots Meyrin and I used to watch when we were kids.
There's a crocodile a few feet away and it's eyeing me like how Chairman Dullindal likes to give us his favourite "Who's Your Daddy?" look. Well, I hope these dead zombies will provide a filling meal for it, although I don't know if they can get any deader than dead. Though meat is still meat, I'd rather starve than barbecue a zombie for my lunch, thank you very much.
…is it me or place oddly reminds one of Lodonia Lab?
Applicant #2
Canon: Lunamaria Hawke is one of the three
"super-aces" that graduated from the academy. Just
like Shinn and Rey, she wears the red uniform, proof
of her ability to pwn. She's very determined,
friendly, strong-willed, and to the point. Not afraid
to speak her mind, you know how it goes. Aside from
being one of the big reasons that people watch SEED
Destiny, coughfanboyscough, Lunamaria is best known
for joining Athrun's steadily growing haremher
failed attempts at catching her Commander on the
rebound. After Athrun and her younger sister Meyrin
defect from ZAFT and are "killed" by Shinn, Lunamaria
finds herself on the rebound being the
rebound don't ask me, I never really understood
it in the canon myself turned into Shinn's Stellar
replacement. Recently, however, she has discovered
that Athrun and Meyrin are still alive. Her feelings
are now a bit muddled, and she's not sure which
super-ace with the l33t-piloting skills she should be
fangirling.
Ahh! What's wrong with this place? Everything's out
of control, I've never seen such a mess! I was told
that this was the most prestigious ZAFT re-training
camp currently in existence. True, it has some
advantages over the Academy, but still. At least the
Academy grounds were recognizable as being....grounds?
Shinn, Rey, I can't believe that you would leave ZAFT
like that in the middle of a war! And how, may I ask,
do you think we've been doing with the two of you
gone? We went from four skilled pilots, to three
after Athrun....well, we went to three. Then Shinn
just decided to up and disappear, oh no big deal.
It's not like we're in a WAR or anything. Then Rey
was sent out to find and retrieve Shinn. Well, it's
been a good while now, and even though I've been
trying my best, I can't fight for the ZAFT alone.
That's why Captain finally made the decision to send
me down to this Camp Fuck You Die. She reasoned that
I could bring the three two of you back and
get some training done in the meantime. Well, just
leave it to me! Lunamaria Hawke, going out!
...............
........-
..?!
...what the?! Damn, what are these things?! Are
they..zombies?!! No, it can't be. Zombies don't
really exist, they-
Shit!! Never knew zombies could move so fast!
Where'd I put my weapons? I know I came armed, I
remember putting them......what?! Shotguns? I didn't
bring any guns with me, just-
Ahhh, it doesn't matter, just gotta shoot!
.............I can't...I can't do this...why guns?
Any other weapon but guns, ahh I knew I should have
worked on this...
...............
....maybe training isn't such a bad idea.....
...help?
Poll Vote!
Character: Hatsuharu Sohma
Series: Fruits Basket
Applicant #1
Canon: Hatsuharu , or Haru, is a member of the Sohma family.
He transforms into the ox (of the Chinese Zodiac)
whenever he is hugged by the opposite gender or his
body comes under a great deal of stress. He has a
terrible sense of direction and often gets lost. He's
cool, mellow, and groovy. Doesn't really talk much. He
also has something of a split personality. His darker
side, 'Black Haru', transforms the usually calm,
placid Haru into a rude, violent, raging individual.
His alter ego originated from teasing when he was
young. He was mocked throughout the Sohma family
because of the Juunishi legend. In the legend, the
Rat snuck a ride on the back of the Ox to get into the
party. Because he was tricked by the Rat, the Ox was
seem as inferior. Hatsuharu eventually grew an
extreme hatred for Yuki simply because he was the Rat;
Yuki became his unconscious enemy. When Haru met Yuki
for the first time, he blurted out his blame and
hatred for the Rat. Yuki only replied to this with,
"Really? Are you really stupid?" Yuki eased Haru's
mind with his words, and Haru's explosive Black side
stopped emerging as often as it had been. Now Haru
claims Yuki to be his first love.
… Hmm.. I guess it’s time to face the
circumstances. This doesn’t seem to the way to
Shigure’s house. The path was long and surprisingly
misleading. No enlightenment here. I guess I should
have realized something was … amiss…. after day 6 of
traveling… If Yuki was here, he’d say that I
was lost. Heh. Maybe I should turn back?
Or, you know, take that fork in the road coming up.
It looks like a plan, this trail is going no where,
the one on the right, the dark ominous one headed to
who knows where? That looks promising. There’s even a
sign way down there.
Camp Fuck You Die. Like I said, promising. …hmm…yeah,
that’s right. That’s where Yuki and Tohru are. I
remember hearing something about a camp. That means
Kyo’s here too then. Not surprised at all.
Stupid cat. Hmph. Who else am I forgetting?
Eh…
I feel really good about this decision. I know where
I am and where I’m going.
Ooh, and what are the odds that there’d be someone way
out here. There is no shame in asking for
directions. And yet, the signs of danger
are saying “No, this is not good. Abort.” I’m sure
there’s a rule about not talking to smelly people who
gurglehiss at you.
…
What the bitch? You don’t just kick over someone’s
bike! What. Is. This? Blood? Slime? …He got …SOMETHING
QUESTIONABLE…on my jacket? That SonOfABitch! Come back
here, you pussy! Oh, now you have friends? Only four
of you? Don’t underestimate me, I will fuck your shit
up!
…
… Hn.
…
So. Zombies. I’m exhausted. The people who make those
zombies movies? Yes, they know their stuff. They do
travel in mobs. Slow, disorganized mobs of mindless
eating and bleeding stuff all over the place. I’ll
admit it, after first asserting myself, I made a
strategic retreat. Yep.
… Now Onwards to Yuki Camp!
…Er…
This is like the third time I’ve passed that bush
that’s shaped like a dancing hippo. I know, cause a
bush like that is something that you can’t help but
notice it every time you see it.
Alittle help? …I guess I’ll just have to rely on my
survival instincts to -- wait. Do cows even have
survival instincts?
Damn the man farmer. Damn him.
Applicant #2
Canon: Hatsuharu (usually called Haru) is one of the members of the Sohma family who are cursed with changing into a Chinese zodiac animal when hugged by a member of the opposite sex, or whenever they feel weak. His animal form is the ox. He can attract cattle and talk to them.
Haru appears serene most of the time, unruffled even when his cousin Shigure hits on underage girls or when he's teased about his terrible sense of direction. He is also very kind, looking after Yuki, Rin and Kisa, the family members he cares most about.
However, when the straw breaks the camel's back, he turns into Black Haru, violent and aiming to hurt both physically and emotionally.
Even as White ('Good'), Haru makes comments that can be either viewed as him not caring what people think, or made in a teasing manner; such as when he told Yuki that "maybe we were sisters in a previous life."
Also, his black and white hair? Totally natural. And depending on his mood, he'll even show you undeniable proof.
I'm finally here... wherever 'here' is. That wasn't too hard! Only took a month and a half. Anyway, I say I think this is the right place because this is the one camp I haven't been able to leave after entering. Not that I would want to run away from this place as soon as I collect my family, of course, I am just not used to having partially rotten bodies nuzzling the collar of my coat and tapping my head as they lick what remains of their lips. And I'd rather not get used to it, that coat isn't exactly cheap. (Please let Yuki and the others be safe and well still.)
I don't really know much about camps, especially co-ed camps, but I'd say it's unusual to find the tree on which you've leaned your bike slowly stirring and growing tentacles. Today I've learned that trees don't really like bikes against their trunks. However, they find stealing and passing around bikes while mocking their owners hilarious. I thought I could bribe them with water from the lake, but... was that sound a snort? Okay, you can give that back now, like hell I'm letting mother nature strike back!
...AH DAMN IT, I'M GONNA TEAR YOUR ROOTS AND FEED THEM TO DEERS WITH RABIES GIMME MY BIKE BACK YOU SAP-FILLED ASSWEEDS!!!
*cue tree bitch-slapping*
...In the end, I remembered how plants are supposed to be happier when you talk to them, so I pulled out one of Sensei's books and started reading. As I got to the really interesting scene they put my bike down and sort of made themselves bushier. Trees seem to like big-breasted heroines a lot; I hope no one at camp fits that description.
So that's over but now I've heard rumors of a boy who turns into a cow and squirts milk at people. If that is true, and that boy is indeed here, I want to say:
Thank you for making me feel normal.
Poll Vote!
Character: George Lass
Series: "Dead Like Me"
Applicant #1
Canon: Meet George Lass. George is undead.
She was killed when a toilet seat fell out of space
and onto her. After death, George was drafted into
the ranks of the Grim Reapers, those who take the
souls of people about to die and send them where they
need to go. Despite being cynical, sarcastic, and
prone to irritating people on purpose, she's not a bad
person. George often finds herself caring about
people and situations even when she knows she
shouldn't and she hates the idea of being responsible
(in her opinion) for the deaths of others. As a
result, she went out of her way to break the rules of
Grim Reaping . . .
(and for simplicity's sake, George will be George, not
Millie - her usual identity when dealing with the
living)
Current Mood: what the fuck?!
Current Music: "Hell," Squirrel Nut Zippers
"Peanut, it's time you learned there are worse things
in the world than being a Grim Reaper."
Okay, so I screwed up a few times. So the idea of
spending my afterlife taking souls didn't exactly
thrill me. So I tried contacting my family a few
times. So that guy had to be aware during his
autopsy.
I don't deserve this!
This, being this place. This place
being like what would happen if someone shoved "Night
of the Living Dead," "Dawson's Creek," and the fucking
Cartoon Network into a blender and hit "puree."
This place also being stuck on a tree branch,
surrounded by zombies (oh, crap, are they what
happens when a soul expires?), with only Betty's
polaroid camera, Mason's bag of special "oregano," my
laptop, and a shotgun for company.
How do you load this thing, anyway?
Applicant #2
Canon: A toilet seat from a space station
fell out of the sky and killed George one day. Not a
death to be proud of - okay, she’s kind of annoyed
about it - her life was lackluster and to top it all
off, she died without ever really living, without ever
having a boyfriend, and without ever having her
driver‘s license. Without much drive to do anything.
It’s not the end for her. She gets to be a Grim
Reaper reaping souls from people about to suffer
untimely deaths which means she has a physical body -
though she looks different than she was in life to
people. So no one recognizes her of course. She
receives her ‘reaping assignments’ on post-it notes
given to her by Rube - the father figure in the group
of reapers she works with. But being a Grim Reaper
doesn’t mean a place to stay or cash, so she resorts
to working at Happy Time as a temp - the same job she
had on the day she died. She’s called Missie there.
Her droll, sarcastic humor is always with her even
during her moments of contemplation or angst. As a
Grim Reaper, she experiences things she neglected to
do in life and comes to know herself better in death.
However, she’s still an odd duck and with her wit and
words, faces down life as only death can do. In all
it‘s sarcastic and black humor way.
Excursions in the woods are never my favorite thing,
but what can you do when a hiker takes a climb on the
wild side. Too bad the branch broke. Now he’s on the
dead side. He’s not the only one on the dead side in
these woods because . . . zombies.
Definitely walking. Definitely dead. And definitely
soulless mostly. Really hungry, too, because -
SHIT! That’s my hand - letgoletgoletgo! God. You’re
a shining example of the lower realms of zombie
intellect. Go for the brains! Not the hand!
Fuckfuckfuckfuck - that’s going to take more than
minute to heal. Why not take a finger while you were
at it.
. . . Okay, the shotgun I found comes in handy. So is
the laptop. They were just sitting there waiting for
me . . . I didn’t think it would be so easy to shoot
something. Pull the trigger - BLAM! zombie brains all
over, the last twitch of fingers - maybe it’s because
it was soulless. I hope.
You think you know how strange life can get and well,
maybe you do. Then you’re introduced to death and
you’ll never know how strange death can get. Maybe
you don’t want to know. Hell, I don’t want to know.
Hi. I’m George. I’m sure -
. . . what the fuck is in the lake?
Scratch what I said on knowing how weird life can get.
Replace with - The world doesn’t make any sense.
Didn’t make any sense after death. Didn’t make any
sense before the zombies. It just doesn’t make sense.
The end.
Poll Vote!