(no subject)
NEW BATCH aaaand we're revisitin' the remaining app from the dup battle from earlier again, you know how this goes. o/ We're over halfway finished now, guys!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed~
Character: Black * Star.
Series: Soul Eater. (manga)
Character Age: 14.
Canon: So you want to be a weapon so powerful Death himself will wield you? In Soul Eater, Technicians and their shapeshifting Weapons attend training school to achieve this glory. To get there, the pairs will have to collect the souls of ninety-nine evil humans (Kishin Eggs) and one witch... not to mention battle plot devices which make End of Eva look sane.
Black * Star is the last surviving member of a clan of evil assassins. The assignments he's sent on should boost the power of his weapon, Tsubaki, but unfortunately the only time he uses his sneaking skills properly is when he's peeping on the girls' bathing area. The rest of the time, Black * Star is obsessed with becoming legendary, which he calls "big" - forget kishin; this kid's ego alone will devour your soul. Reactionary and hyperactive as he is, Black * Star is also very strong, and he pushes himself hard to reach the levels he talks himself up to, challenging anyone getting more attention than him. Since he's too self-absorbed to know when he's outmatched, he mainly stars in good old-fashioned smackdowns.
Sample Post:
All right! There must be over nine thousand Kishin Eggs here, and that Director sounds like a total witch! I'd better get to work right away, this is what all my assassin training has been leading to. A chance to prove my stealth!
Laws of the assassin number one! Do not talk about the laws of the assassin... Laws of the assassin number two! Do not talk about the laws of the assassin… Laws of the assassin number three… defeat your target before he becomes aware of your existence! Okay, here we go!
I'M THE GREAT BLACK * STAR, AND I'M HERE TO KICK YOUR ASS IN THE MOST AWESOME WAY POSSIBLE! Tsubaki, change form! That's right, horde of losers, get ready to feel THE STING OF MY DARK DEMON BLAAAA-
My... blade? Tsubaki? Huh, she's not here. I didn't notice. No problem! I could thrash you all with just the tip of my little finger. Wait! You're all zombies, right? So shouldn't you be trying to eat my brains? I dunno why you're so disinterested; I'm the smartest guy around. I'm funny, too, just wait and see - you'll be like a helicopter of laughter! (That's the phrase, right?) ... No, morons, my brains are up here, not down there! I guess that's just the kind of men you were, wahaha!
I'm gonna like it here. Even the birds are helpful! One of them helped me out with this computer stuff, now I keep getting emails which promise to help make me bigger. Not that I need it; I'm Black * Star, the biggest guy in this Camp! More people should be talking about me. No-one even notices the pyre I built on top of the volcano when I arrived, or my smoke signals that spelled out BLACK * STAR! Instead they're all going on about some other sucker's flames! Or some flamer's suckers, but that doesn't make much sense... I can't forgive someone who gets more notice than me, I'm gonna have to thrash this trash. Wasn't that a hilarious joke? I know you're all holding back laughter, but don't fall apart on me now! I'll give my autograph to the first person who tells me where I can find this unlucky guy!
- Eh? The lake? What kind of person lives in the lake?
Poll Vote!
Character: Kitsu Chiri
Series: Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
Character Age: 15~16
Canon: What happens when you smash together the slice-of-life, harem, black comedy, and satire genres, add a healthy dash of fourth wall breaking, a pinch of (pop) cultural homages, and mix it all up with a drop of LSD? You'd get Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, the series with the comically suicidal teacher and his classroom full of crazies (and that one normal girl).
Kitsu Chiri seems like your normal class representative type at first glance: organized, assertive, responsible...at first-and-a-half glance, it's apparent that she's utterly obsessed with doing things just right--her name happens to be a pun on the Japanese word for "precisely," or "anal retentive control freak." She's very insistent on having everyone, including herself, live a life of perfect properness. However, there's a very fine line in Chiri's head between "pushy, bossy perfectionist" and "violent, batshit insane psychopath." Her name also happens to be a pun on the character "to bury," after all...
Sample Post:
Well! It's been quite the struggle to fill out my forms and pack my suitcases, but I'm sure I've done it perfectly. Honestly though, what kind of place makes one denote whether it's okay to break the fourth wall or not? As far as I'm concerned, everyone should stay in their own plane of existence...and don't get me started on how difficult it was to find a flight with an even number of passengers, pilots, and stewardesses. Is a little symmetry too much to ask for here? In the end, I had to take matters into my own hands...
And now I find myself in this Camp...Fuck You Die? H-how vulgar! If I'm correct in assuming that this summer camp is intended for young people such as myself, then isn't this quite the horrible influence? More importantly, is it "Camp: Fuck You! Die!"? "Camp: Fuck! You Die(d)!"? "Camp Fuck(ed) You (Dead)"? Far be it for me to accuse the Americans of misusing their own language, but I'd appreciate a little grammatical clarity here! If you're going to name an institution, do it right, please! It's really quite irritating otherwise!
Another thing! Your brochure, your fliers, and your website all claim that this camp is located in Louisiana. As I understand it, neither toucans nor gorillas are natural to this area, and it doesn't appear that we're near any zoos. Please refrain from giving poor misguided youths incorrect knowledge concerning the fauna of the world and stock the camp grounds with some proper animals. I recommend mosquitoes. There's nothing more telling of a dank, stagnant swamp than oozing bites and the plague of malaria, after all. And concerning that tentacle monster in the lake: please be aware that the forms did not indicate that this was to be a hentai. As some of us happen to be minors, it would be highly illegal, not to mention terribly improper! Incorrect form usage is incredibly annoying, I'll have you know.
And are those--zombies I see? Hmph, if you're going to populate any area with zombies, why a relatively isolated summer camp in the middle of nowhere? A proper zombie apocalypse only works if you unleash them into a crowded metropolitan area! But the bigger issue here...something's that's neither alive or dead...how immensely irritating...there's "alive" and then there's "dead"! And then there are various stages of being alive or dead in between those! Personally, I prefer precisely half-dead/half-alive. The absolute beauty of seeing someone on that perfect line between existence and non-existence, preferably due to blunt force trauma to the head...how satisfying!
...ah. My, it seems like I let myself wander for a moment, how improper of me. Anyway, saying that something is "undead" is just so...argh! Well, it's a good thing I made sure to bring my shovel~! There will be no breaking the laws of biology on my watch. Now...
Dead things should just stay dead.
Poll Vote!
Character: Michael Blanc
Series: Macross Frontier
Character Age: 17
Canon: Magical music and multiple missiles, welcome to the world of Macross, saving the galaxy and uniting races with song. Macross Frontier was making its way through the galaxy when it was attacked by insect-like aliens, called the Vajra. The military calls in their private "testing" company, the SMS, to give them a hand in this struggle, and they become a key component in the battle against the Vajra. The SMS is comprised of several squadrons of pilots, comprised of humans and the race of giants, called the Zentradi, alike.
Michael Blanc, or Michel to his friends, is the sniper in SMS's Skull Squadron. When not taking aim at the Vajra, Michael is a pilot student at Mihoshi Academy, along with his two friends, Alto and Luca. Confident and self-assured, he's the joker and ladies man of the group, rarely resisting an opportunity to jab at his friends (like calling Alto "Princess"), or hitting on a pretty lady. After all, he brags that he gets his women and his targets in one shot! For all his kidding around, Michael usually knows when enough is enough, and he generally takes his role with SMS very seriously. He's also rather perceptive when it comes to things not relating directly to him. This is glaringly obvious when he's able to see the series love triangle so obviously, and yet unable to see that someone has true feelings for him.
Sample Post:
Alright everybody! Here we go, we're doing a head count. A complete head count, and no one's exempt! Well, except for you guys who don't have heads, but I can't see how you'd fly a plane anyway. Normally SMS doesn't rely on green recruits, but here, we don't have too much of a choice. Dedication is key - you can't decide halfway through that you'd rather be a lumberjack. That's not okay, so don't even think about it. SMS is small, but it's not as if size matters - well, not unless you're a zentradi.
And so you're wondering: what Michael Blanc could possibly teach you? What can't Michael Blanc teach you? Your first lesson, call me Michel. At least, you girls in the crowd. The lesson for you guys in the crowd, well! It's a little more complicated. One: It's not hazing if someone makes you up in your sleep. It's called raising troop morale. Two, pushing you into the girls' bathroom is an honest mistake. And three, you get to sit on the men's side of the onsen all by yourself, while yours truly gets to take a place on the ladies' side. We really can't have that level of fraternization!
Aah, the onsen really is nice, isn't it? Aside from the walruses, we don't have anything to worry about. As long as they don't bother us. Now, the second lesson is that Michael Blanc always gets his targets -- Now now, girls! Girls? You're both pretty. I can see you looking at that corpse. . . ah, I guess I should've found a more polite word for it, but I can't take that back. That handsome corpse you both are gazing so desperately at, that you both have in your targets! I ought to be happy someone's hitting their mark. It's the sign of girls in love. He's brainless, he would never be able to choose between the two of you!
What a terrible situation. That a guy can't even tell something so obvious. He almost reminds me of someone. A love triangle? A love hexagon? It doesn't matter. To tell you the truth, the steam in the onsen is starting to fog up my glasses, and I'm losing track myself. In the end though, I don't think I'm really the person who should be answering this question for you, girls. Do what you feel is right, but please, hands to yourselves! Even I know better than to get involved in something like that.
Poll Vote!
Character: Lymsleia Falenas
Series: Suikoden V
Character Age: 10
Canon: The beautiful Queendom of Falena. Home to humans, dwarves, dragon-horses, fortress-building beavers, an eccentric but loving royal family, and... nobles who will do anything to seize control of the throne. As Falena's only princess, young Lymsleia is the key to one such scheme. By the tricks and treachery of the Godwin family, she's forced into a marriage that installs her as a figurehead queen, while her new husband attempts to improve Falena through fun tactics such as genocide and ethnic cleansing.
But Lym turns out to be much more to deal with than her husband anticipated. Her remarkable knack for reading the people around her makes her a clever and brave tactician. Planning moves around her predictions of others' actions, she strives for the day when she can take back the throne and give all the citizens of Falena the rights they deserve.
When not on royal duty, Lym is very much a normal child. Caring little for formalities, she's playful, impulsive, and a bit spoiled and tactless, although she rarely means to be. She makes no secret of her special affection for her older brother Freyjadour, causing some to note that her feelings seem a little... more than sisterly. Not that Lym notices or cares! She's just a girl with lots of love for her country, friends, and family alike. What's wrong with showing it by sneaking into her brother's bed sometimes?
(Notes: Lymsleia is being apped from after the final battle but before the end of the game. Freyjadour is mentioned with permission from the player.)
Sample Post:
Stupid, stupid Brother! When I sent him on this summer exchange program, I expected him to come back home eventually. Oh, Brother... I'm sure you have a good reason for overstaying, but that doesn't change how much I've missed you! Well! If that's how it is, it's time I took matters into my own hands and came to find out what's keeping him. I am Queen now, after all.... Excuse me? Yes, I'm really a queen! Oh, fine, if you insist on trifling details, it's true that I haven't had my real coronation ceremony yet. But I am the ruler of Falena, even if I'm still officially "Princess" Lymsleia.
What's so funny? Oh, right, this is a different country, so I guess you've never heard a name like Lymsleia before. Well, I don't mind if you call me by my nickname -- what? You know it already?... No, actually, it's Lym, but you can certainly call me Leia if you want. And now that you know my name, wouldn't it make sense for me to know yours?
Thank you. It's my pleasure to meet you, too, Obi-Toucanobi. And no, that's not a strange name to me at all, nor is the fact that you're a talking bird. After all, my land is very diverse. Some of my brother's best allies in the war were beavers with names like Miroon and Fuwalafuwalu... Oh, my respect for other species is relevant to your interests? And you have a story to tell me? Yes, this could very well interest me too. I'll listen.
... I see. So this was a peaceful country before the invasion three years ago. That those of you who were here first are now facing discrimination is absolutely an outrage! That must be why Brother's stayed so long! He's the kind of person who wouldn't give up until things are set right. Until your zombies no longer have to rely on brains for food. Until your gorillas have just as much right to cabins and beds of their own, instead of being forced to usurp those of the privileged classes each morning. Until your Marcy can live without facing hatred and fear simply for how many limbs she has! Director Elizabeth and her growing army of Campers need to be stopped! I'll bet you anything Brother has a plan, and now I'm here to help him. And so are you, right?
Or perhaps not. You see, while you were speaking, I was also observing my surroundings. What I saw were no less than three "Campers" offering perfectly decent food to your zombies, only to be refused and harassed because it was not brains. Isn't that strange? And not exactly in line with what you told me? I think this explains that occasional snickering of yours. Something's wrong with this camp all right, but I've learned nothing from you except that you've been making a fool of me this whole time!
Well, no matter. I need none of your help, Obi-Toucanobi. You're hardly my only hope! I made this journey to find Brother, and that's what I'm going to do -- on my own! He's the only one I need to help me find out everything about this suspicious place!
...What did you say? I can't believe you're still asking me silly questions! But just for your information -- yes, of course I've kissed my brother!
And I fail to see what's so funny about that.
Poll Vote!
Character: Beat (Bito Daisukenojo)
Series: The World Ends With You
Character Age: 15
Canon: Welcome to the Reaper's Game. Here in Underground Shibuya you get to complete scavenger hunts, fight graffiti monsters, wear outrageous outfits, and participate in random quizzes. It's like a game show! With death. Win and you could get your life back. Lose and you get erased- along with your entry fee: whatever is most important to you. When Beat enters the Game with his younger sister, he finally begins to understand how much she means to him- and how far he's willing to go for family.
Bito Daisukenojo (that's Beat- and don't you forget it) is hot-headed, hard headed, and will do anything for his friends. He's more sentimental than he'd like people to think and will become very flustered if you notice. Games or fights, he has a strong sense of fair-play. His vocabulary and diction aren’t that great and it shows in his speech. He's very literal-minded. Metaphors tend to go over his head, as do insults with a lot of big words. It's not that he can't think- it's just that everyone else is so much better at it! Beat is more interested in following his heart than his head- he'll be the brawn and let someone else be the brains, no problem. If you can't keep up with his drive, that's okay- he'll wait... five streets away, shouting for you to pick up the pace.
Sample Post:
OW! You supposed ta' wake up if ya' pinch yourself in a dream, so not a dream. Lesse... the 'rents were out, Rhyme was doin' some kinda thing fo' school. I fall asleep on the couch and wake up in a field? Ain't no fields in Shibuya, yo! Fields- trees- volcano, this shit wasn't here when I zoned out. Japan has a volcano- I think? But it don't smoke like that- probably.
Where the hell- 'Die, You, Fuck, Camp'... issat a list? I died before, yo- it wasn't that great. No wait- wait maybe that's one of those western things- read from the other side. 'Camp Fuck You Die'. That's not much better, yo. Do I die if I swear? Did I die because I swore? Fuck! No wait- I didn't mean that, yo- I take it back! I'll never say 'shit' again... after that one. Uh- does 'damn' count?
Okay, okay- what'd Rhyme do if she were here? Pshh. If Rhyme were here she'd already know what's goin' on. She's smart like that. Well- it's a camp. Camp gotta have people to camp in 'em. Someone'll know wha's goin' on. Aight- people. People hang out in buildin's- which is great, except there ain't buildin's. No buildin's, no cars, no streets... MAN, HOW'M I SUPPOS'TA OLLIE WITHOUT CONCRETE?
Aight. Aight- 'every silver cloud has a linin', right? Well I ain't never been campin' before! Campin' sounds tight, yo! You get ta' live outdoors, cook hotdogs over a fire, go fishin', check out the flowers, breathe in tha' fresh air. Ah... ahCHOO! Damn. Got a case of the sniffles. Aight, first I'll find some people, then I'll get ta' campin'. So what if they ain't got concrete, I'll find a way. Me 'n my baby can fly on anythin'! This gonna be awesome.
There's someone righ' there. Hey man! ...Yo, you aight? You walkin' kinda stiff. Brains? Naw man, I ain't got any.
Poll Vote!
Character: Naminé
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Character Age: Physically 14~15
Canon: Taking over the universe are creatures known as Heartless who devour the metaphorical hearts of worlds and people, but a boy named Sora is destined to defeat them with a giant, magical Keyblade. On his journey Sora encounters and befriends familiar faces from both Disney and Square Enix, and fights to save the universe from darkness. However, when someone with a particularly strong will loses their heart, a shadow of that person is sometimes born - a Nobody.
Nobodies are people without hearts, and Organization XIII is made up of some powerful Nobodies who are trying to regain them. Ends justify means, and the Organization is willing to use plenty of questionable tactics. Enter a small, meek, lonely girl named Naminé, a Nobody among Nobodies, with the ability to shape and manipulate memories through her drawings. She was coerced by the Organization to alter Sora's memories, but eventually gains courage and confidence due to Sora's strong heart and offer of friendship. Eventually Naminé grows into a more confident person as well. Memories and promises are important things to her, and she believes that the heart will Find A Way through tough odds to keep those promises. While not as optimistic on the fate of Nobodies, she is hopeful, almost sage, and accepting of her own small role in Sora's destiny.
Sample Post:
Although we promised to stay together, I'm alone again. However, I'm sure that I'll find my friends if I look hard enough. No matter how long or far I'll have to walk I'll keep on going so I can keep that promise to the ones I care about. This world is warm, much warmer than what I'm used to, and maybe a little sticky like melted, puddled ice cream. That would be nice to have on a day like this, but I think this world's food is much different than what I'm familiar with. At first, the people of this world were frightening, and they were hungry and rotting and wanting brains to eat… Well, I didn't have any extra I could spare so I offered to draw pictures of brains for them.
They were very critical and just wanted red, lots and lots of red all over the page, to make it more...juicy? I think I used up half of my crayon. And their art criticism was confusing…how am I to know if the drawing is more "Picasso" or "Van Gogh?" I've seen paintings and pictures in books which were very beautiful, and then graffiti that made me laugh - but they're the same, right? "Art." And I've read that art is usually made to reflect or express feelings, but I'm a Nobody. We Nobodies don't have hearts and we're not supposed to have feelings, at least, not really, but… I don't think these people minded. I did my best and in the end the picture didn't look too appetizing, but they stared at it, turned it around a few times, nodded and then ate it up, paper and all.
I guess they approved.
This world, Camp Fud, is full of darkness but it's not as scary as it seems. These people are only looking for brains, while we Nobodies are searching for a heart. Oh, but not literally, not like something I could hold or eat, though the Zombies were quite kind in offering me their own hearts... I hope they'll be all right without any healing items... And they were nice enough to give me directions. I'll remember to avoid the lake and head north. I'm glad we've met. If I ever cross their paths again, I'll be certain to draw more pictures for them.
When I see my friends again, I want to draw them a picture, too. I want it to be something warm and friendly. From now on, I'll only be making new memories for myself and with them. They'll be happy ones - I promise.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ion (Original)
Series: Tales of the Abyss
Character Age: 12
Canon: The land of Auldrant is dominated by the Score, special stones that can predict the future and, as the masses so popularly believe, can lead you to happiness. Daath is a Score hotspot, centered around a giant church and home to the current Fon Master. The Fon Master is one of the most powerful positions in Auldrant, holding a great influence over the other two countries. But, as everyone knows, the Church is always evil, and this Fon Master Ion doesn't exactly help that image.
Ion has many Issues, most of them involving humanity. And life. And the universe. And everything. He believes that people who follow the Score or have other similar beliefs are trash and distances himself from them, and has eventually come to distance himself from the world entirely. He's the unruffled sort who never raises his voice and has no qualms about killing someone with a smile or to lie to the masses. His manner of speech is just barely polite, it being obvious he doesn't say all of what he's thinking, and he occasionally tags a question to the end of his sentences (such as "right?"). Of course, as Fon Master, he also has to play the part of the calm, unbiased mediator who wishes for nothing more than world peace, good will, and all that saintly stuff. Despite this, he doesn't do a great job of appearing friendly. But really? Him? Care? Check the Score-it's getting pretty cold in Hell.
Sample Post:
I can't say I was expecting such a... flamboyant welcome. Even for one who held a status such as myself, it really wasn't necessary. To think you literally poured your hearts into the parade; that would usually cause a few issues, right? Not so much with ethics as much as staying alive afterwards. But I'm not here to judge your methods of welcoming-though I would like to apologize for the earlier incident regarding a few of those who had greeted me personally, but I'm sure you understand. In the future, those lost limbs will remind you the "underage" are not always fond of your affections, physical or otherwise. You seem to function just as efficiently without them in any case, so it's not too much of a loss. Now, regardless of earlier difficulties, I'm here to settle a dispute.
It seems that certain residents, some called Campers and others I've been told are called "furries", are being violated by one called Marcy without their consent. While certain parties seem to find this particularly entertaining, having even gained some sort of audience, there have been enough complaints that warrant a need for a mediator. However, while previous and more willing persons have applied for this position, they've apparently been voted out. My translator, Babel, informed me that because I "know how to Score", I was suggested for the job. Since I do have experience in this sort of matter and lack another option, I suppose have no other choice but to coincide with their request. I will be acting as the neutral party in this matter.
From what Babel has told me, it seems Marcy has a passion for "the youthful and of the nubile body", and seems to lose control of herself unintentionally, meaning only to express her affection for those around her. Having experienced something similar earlier today, I can understand the Campers' discomfort. But she pleads innocent, as the victims' unwillingness to listen to her apologies and reforms have left in despair. It's a vicious cycle. She can't apologize and those around her become hostile, labeling her as, to put it kindly, one a bit too fond of the underaged. While a majority of the residents refused to consider her stance and Babel was having trouble discerning whether Marcy was investing in a noose or a white van, a compromise of sorts was in order.
At least, that's what was intended. Unfortunately, she was not pleased with the message I had Babel deliver to her, and the suggested maids did not quell her anger. I suppose I could attempt to talk to her in person to yield more successful results, but I'd rather refrain. The sacrifice of a few can benefit to the good of many, you know?
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed~
Character: Black * Star.
Series: Soul Eater. (manga)
Character Age: 14.
Canon: So you want to be a weapon so powerful Death himself will wield you? In Soul Eater, Technicians and their shapeshifting Weapons attend training school to achieve this glory. To get there, the pairs will have to collect the souls of ninety-nine evil humans (Kishin Eggs) and one witch... not to mention battle plot devices which make End of Eva look sane.
Black * Star is the last surviving member of a clan of evil assassins. The assignments he's sent on should boost the power of his weapon, Tsubaki, but unfortunately the only time he uses his sneaking skills properly is when he's peeping on the girls' bathing area. The rest of the time, Black * Star is obsessed with becoming legendary, which he calls "big" - forget kishin; this kid's ego alone will devour your soul. Reactionary and hyperactive as he is, Black * Star is also very strong, and he pushes himself hard to reach the levels he talks himself up to, challenging anyone getting more attention than him. Since he's too self-absorbed to know when he's outmatched, he mainly stars in good old-fashioned smackdowns.
Sample Post:
All right! There must be over nine thousand Kishin Eggs here, and that Director sounds like a total witch! I'd better get to work right away, this is what all my assassin training has been leading to. A chance to prove my stealth!
Laws of the assassin number one! Do not talk about the laws of the assassin... Laws of the assassin number two! Do not talk about the laws of the assassin… Laws of the assassin number three… defeat your target before he becomes aware of your existence! Okay, here we go!
I'M THE GREAT BLACK * STAR, AND I'M HERE TO KICK YOUR ASS IN THE MOST AWESOME WAY POSSIBLE! Tsubaki, change form! That's right, horde of losers, get ready to feel THE STING OF MY DARK DEMON BLAAAA-
My... blade? Tsubaki? Huh, she's not here. I didn't notice. No problem! I could thrash you all with just the tip of my little finger. Wait! You're all zombies, right? So shouldn't you be trying to eat my brains? I dunno why you're so disinterested; I'm the smartest guy around. I'm funny, too, just wait and see - you'll be like a helicopter of laughter! (That's the phrase, right?) ... No, morons, my brains are up here, not down there! I guess that's just the kind of men you were, wahaha!
I'm gonna like it here. Even the birds are helpful! One of them helped me out with this computer stuff, now I keep getting emails which promise to help make me bigger. Not that I need it; I'm Black * Star, the biggest guy in this Camp! More people should be talking about me. No-one even notices the pyre I built on top of the volcano when I arrived, or my smoke signals that spelled out BLACK * STAR! Instead they're all going on about some other sucker's flames! Or some flamer's suckers, but that doesn't make much sense... I can't forgive someone who gets more notice than me, I'm gonna have to thrash this trash. Wasn't that a hilarious joke? I know you're all holding back laughter, but don't fall apart on me now! I'll give my autograph to the first person who tells me where I can find this unlucky guy!
- Eh? The lake? What kind of person lives in the lake?
Poll Vote!
Character: Kitsu Chiri
Series: Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
Character Age: 15~16
Canon: What happens when you smash together the slice-of-life, harem, black comedy, and satire genres, add a healthy dash of fourth wall breaking, a pinch of (pop) cultural homages, and mix it all up with a drop of LSD? You'd get Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, the series with the comically suicidal teacher and his classroom full of crazies (and that one normal girl).
Kitsu Chiri seems like your normal class representative type at first glance: organized, assertive, responsible...at first-and-a-half glance, it's apparent that she's utterly obsessed with doing things just right--her name happens to be a pun on the Japanese word for "precisely," or "anal retentive control freak." She's very insistent on having everyone, including herself, live a life of perfect properness. However, there's a very fine line in Chiri's head between "pushy, bossy perfectionist" and "violent, batshit insane psychopath." Her name also happens to be a pun on the character "to bury," after all...
Sample Post:
Well! It's been quite the struggle to fill out my forms and pack my suitcases, but I'm sure I've done it perfectly. Honestly though, what kind of place makes one denote whether it's okay to break the fourth wall or not? As far as I'm concerned, everyone should stay in their own plane of existence...and don't get me started on how difficult it was to find a flight with an even number of passengers, pilots, and stewardesses. Is a little symmetry too much to ask for here? In the end, I had to take matters into my own hands...
And now I find myself in this Camp...Fuck You Die? H-how vulgar! If I'm correct in assuming that this summer camp is intended for young people such as myself, then isn't this quite the horrible influence? More importantly, is it "Camp: Fuck You! Die!"? "Camp: Fuck! You Die(d)!"? "Camp Fuck(ed) You (Dead)"? Far be it for me to accuse the Americans of misusing their own language, but I'd appreciate a little grammatical clarity here! If you're going to name an institution, do it right, please! It's really quite irritating otherwise!
Another thing! Your brochure, your fliers, and your website all claim that this camp is located in Louisiana. As I understand it, neither toucans nor gorillas are natural to this area, and it doesn't appear that we're near any zoos. Please refrain from giving poor misguided youths incorrect knowledge concerning the fauna of the world and stock the camp grounds with some proper animals. I recommend mosquitoes. There's nothing more telling of a dank, stagnant swamp than oozing bites and the plague of malaria, after all. And concerning that tentacle monster in the lake: please be aware that the forms did not indicate that this was to be a hentai. As some of us happen to be minors, it would be highly illegal, not to mention terribly improper! Incorrect form usage is incredibly annoying, I'll have you know.
And are those--zombies I see? Hmph, if you're going to populate any area with zombies, why a relatively isolated summer camp in the middle of nowhere? A proper zombie apocalypse only works if you unleash them into a crowded metropolitan area! But the bigger issue here...something's that's neither alive or dead...how immensely irritating...there's "alive" and then there's "dead"! And then there are various stages of being alive or dead in between those! Personally, I prefer precisely half-dead/half-alive. The absolute beauty of seeing someone on that perfect line between existence and non-existence, preferably due to blunt force trauma to the head...how satisfying!
...ah. My, it seems like I let myself wander for a moment, how improper of me. Anyway, saying that something is "undead" is just so...argh! Well, it's a good thing I made sure to bring my shovel~! There will be no breaking the laws of biology on my watch. Now...
Dead things should just stay dead.
Poll Vote!
Character: Michael Blanc
Series: Macross Frontier
Character Age: 17
Canon: Magical music and multiple missiles, welcome to the world of Macross, saving the galaxy and uniting races with song. Macross Frontier was making its way through the galaxy when it was attacked by insect-like aliens, called the Vajra. The military calls in their private "testing" company, the SMS, to give them a hand in this struggle, and they become a key component in the battle against the Vajra. The SMS is comprised of several squadrons of pilots, comprised of humans and the race of giants, called the Zentradi, alike.
Michael Blanc, or Michel to his friends, is the sniper in SMS's Skull Squadron. When not taking aim at the Vajra, Michael is a pilot student at Mihoshi Academy, along with his two friends, Alto and Luca. Confident and self-assured, he's the joker and ladies man of the group, rarely resisting an opportunity to jab at his friends (like calling Alto "Princess"), or hitting on a pretty lady. After all, he brags that he gets his women and his targets in one shot! For all his kidding around, Michael usually knows when enough is enough, and he generally takes his role with SMS very seriously. He's also rather perceptive when it comes to things not relating directly to him. This is glaringly obvious when he's able to see the series love triangle so obviously, and yet unable to see that someone has true feelings for him.
Sample Post:
Alright everybody! Here we go, we're doing a head count. A complete head count, and no one's exempt! Well, except for you guys who don't have heads, but I can't see how you'd fly a plane anyway. Normally SMS doesn't rely on green recruits, but here, we don't have too much of a choice. Dedication is key - you can't decide halfway through that you'd rather be a lumberjack. That's not okay, so don't even think about it. SMS is small, but it's not as if size matters - well, not unless you're a zentradi.
And so you're wondering: what Michael Blanc could possibly teach you? What can't Michael Blanc teach you? Your first lesson, call me Michel. At least, you girls in the crowd. The lesson for you guys in the crowd, well! It's a little more complicated. One: It's not hazing if someone makes you up in your sleep. It's called raising troop morale. Two, pushing you into the girls' bathroom is an honest mistake. And three, you get to sit on the men's side of the onsen all by yourself, while yours truly gets to take a place on the ladies' side. We really can't have that level of fraternization!
Aah, the onsen really is nice, isn't it? Aside from the walruses, we don't have anything to worry about. As long as they don't bother us. Now, the second lesson is that Michael Blanc always gets his targets -- Now now, girls! Girls? You're both pretty. I can see you looking at that corpse. . . ah, I guess I should've found a more polite word for it, but I can't take that back. That handsome corpse you both are gazing so desperately at, that you both have in your targets! I ought to be happy someone's hitting their mark. It's the sign of girls in love. He's brainless, he would never be able to choose between the two of you!
What a terrible situation. That a guy can't even tell something so obvious. He almost reminds me of someone. A love triangle? A love hexagon? It doesn't matter. To tell you the truth, the steam in the onsen is starting to fog up my glasses, and I'm losing track myself. In the end though, I don't think I'm really the person who should be answering this question for you, girls. Do what you feel is right, but please, hands to yourselves! Even I know better than to get involved in something like that.
Poll Vote!
Character: Lymsleia Falenas
Series: Suikoden V
Character Age: 10
Canon: The beautiful Queendom of Falena. Home to humans, dwarves, dragon-horses, fortress-building beavers, an eccentric but loving royal family, and... nobles who will do anything to seize control of the throne. As Falena's only princess, young Lymsleia is the key to one such scheme. By the tricks and treachery of the Godwin family, she's forced into a marriage that installs her as a figurehead queen, while her new husband attempts to improve Falena through fun tactics such as genocide and ethnic cleansing.
But Lym turns out to be much more to deal with than her husband anticipated. Her remarkable knack for reading the people around her makes her a clever and brave tactician. Planning moves around her predictions of others' actions, she strives for the day when she can take back the throne and give all the citizens of Falena the rights they deserve.
When not on royal duty, Lym is very much a normal child. Caring little for formalities, she's playful, impulsive, and a bit spoiled and tactless, although she rarely means to be. She makes no secret of her special affection for her older brother Freyjadour, causing some to note that her feelings seem a little... more than sisterly. Not that Lym notices or cares! She's just a girl with lots of love for her country, friends, and family alike. What's wrong with showing it by sneaking into her brother's bed sometimes?
(Notes: Lymsleia is being apped from after the final battle but before the end of the game. Freyjadour is mentioned with permission from the player.)
Sample Post:
Stupid, stupid Brother! When I sent him on this summer exchange program, I expected him to come back home eventually. Oh, Brother... I'm sure you have a good reason for overstaying, but that doesn't change how much I've missed you! Well! If that's how it is, it's time I took matters into my own hands and came to find out what's keeping him. I am Queen now, after all.... Excuse me? Yes, I'm really a queen! Oh, fine, if you insist on trifling details, it's true that I haven't had my real coronation ceremony yet. But I am the ruler of Falena, even if I'm still officially "Princess" Lymsleia.
What's so funny? Oh, right, this is a different country, so I guess you've never heard a name like Lymsleia before. Well, I don't mind if you call me by my nickname -- what? You know it already?... No, actually, it's Lym, but you can certainly call me Leia if you want. And now that you know my name, wouldn't it make sense for me to know yours?
Thank you. It's my pleasure to meet you, too, Obi-Toucanobi. And no, that's not a strange name to me at all, nor is the fact that you're a talking bird. After all, my land is very diverse. Some of my brother's best allies in the war were beavers with names like Miroon and Fuwalafuwalu... Oh, my respect for other species is relevant to your interests? And you have a story to tell me? Yes, this could very well interest me too. I'll listen.
... I see. So this was a peaceful country before the invasion three years ago. That those of you who were here first are now facing discrimination is absolutely an outrage! That must be why Brother's stayed so long! He's the kind of person who wouldn't give up until things are set right. Until your zombies no longer have to rely on brains for food. Until your gorillas have just as much right to cabins and beds of their own, instead of being forced to usurp those of the privileged classes each morning. Until your Marcy can live without facing hatred and fear simply for how many limbs she has! Director Elizabeth and her growing army of Campers need to be stopped! I'll bet you anything Brother has a plan, and now I'm here to help him. And so are you, right?
Or perhaps not. You see, while you were speaking, I was also observing my surroundings. What I saw were no less than three "Campers" offering perfectly decent food to your zombies, only to be refused and harassed because it was not brains. Isn't that strange? And not exactly in line with what you told me? I think this explains that occasional snickering of yours. Something's wrong with this camp all right, but I've learned nothing from you except that you've been making a fool of me this whole time!
Well, no matter. I need none of your help, Obi-Toucanobi. You're hardly my only hope! I made this journey to find Brother, and that's what I'm going to do -- on my own! He's the only one I need to help me find out everything about this suspicious place!
...What did you say? I can't believe you're still asking me silly questions! But just for your information -- yes, of course I've kissed my brother!
And I fail to see what's so funny about that.
Poll Vote!
Character: Beat (Bito Daisukenojo)
Series: The World Ends With You
Character Age: 15
Canon: Welcome to the Reaper's Game. Here in Underground Shibuya you get to complete scavenger hunts, fight graffiti monsters, wear outrageous outfits, and participate in random quizzes. It's like a game show! With death. Win and you could get your life back. Lose and you get erased- along with your entry fee: whatever is most important to you. When Beat enters the Game with his younger sister, he finally begins to understand how much she means to him- and how far he's willing to go for family.
Bito Daisukenojo (that's Beat- and don't you forget it) is hot-headed, hard headed, and will do anything for his friends. He's more sentimental than he'd like people to think and will become very flustered if you notice. Games or fights, he has a strong sense of fair-play. His vocabulary and diction aren’t that great and it shows in his speech. He's very literal-minded. Metaphors tend to go over his head, as do insults with a lot of big words. It's not that he can't think- it's just that everyone else is so much better at it! Beat is more interested in following his heart than his head- he'll be the brawn and let someone else be the brains, no problem. If you can't keep up with his drive, that's okay- he'll wait... five streets away, shouting for you to pick up the pace.
Sample Post:
OW! You supposed ta' wake up if ya' pinch yourself in a dream, so not a dream. Lesse... the 'rents were out, Rhyme was doin' some kinda thing fo' school. I fall asleep on the couch and wake up in a field? Ain't no fields in Shibuya, yo! Fields- trees- volcano, this shit wasn't here when I zoned out. Japan has a volcano- I think? But it don't smoke like that- probably.
Where the hell- 'Die, You, Fuck, Camp'... issat a list? I died before, yo- it wasn't that great. No wait- wait maybe that's one of those western things- read from the other side. 'Camp Fuck You Die'. That's not much better, yo. Do I die if I swear? Did I die because I swore? Fuck! No wait- I didn't mean that, yo- I take it back! I'll never say 'shit' again... after that one. Uh- does 'damn' count?
Okay, okay- what'd Rhyme do if she were here? Pshh. If Rhyme were here she'd already know what's goin' on. She's smart like that. Well- it's a camp. Camp gotta have people to camp in 'em. Someone'll know wha's goin' on. Aight- people. People hang out in buildin's- which is great, except there ain't buildin's. No buildin's, no cars, no streets... MAN, HOW'M I SUPPOS'TA OLLIE WITHOUT CONCRETE?
Aight. Aight- 'every silver cloud has a linin', right? Well I ain't never been campin' before! Campin' sounds tight, yo! You get ta' live outdoors, cook hotdogs over a fire, go fishin', check out the flowers, breathe in tha' fresh air. Ah... ahCHOO! Damn. Got a case of the sniffles. Aight, first I'll find some people, then I'll get ta' campin'. So what if they ain't got concrete, I'll find a way. Me 'n my baby can fly on anythin'! This gonna be awesome.
There's someone righ' there. Hey man! ...Yo, you aight? You walkin' kinda stiff. Brains? Naw man, I ain't got any.
Poll Vote!
Character: Naminé
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Character Age: Physically 14~15
Canon: Taking over the universe are creatures known as Heartless who devour the metaphorical hearts of worlds and people, but a boy named Sora is destined to defeat them with a giant, magical Keyblade. On his journey Sora encounters and befriends familiar faces from both Disney and Square Enix, and fights to save the universe from darkness. However, when someone with a particularly strong will loses their heart, a shadow of that person is sometimes born - a Nobody.
Nobodies are people without hearts, and Organization XIII is made up of some powerful Nobodies who are trying to regain them. Ends justify means, and the Organization is willing to use plenty of questionable tactics. Enter a small, meek, lonely girl named Naminé, a Nobody among Nobodies, with the ability to shape and manipulate memories through her drawings. She was coerced by the Organization to alter Sora's memories, but eventually gains courage and confidence due to Sora's strong heart and offer of friendship. Eventually Naminé grows into a more confident person as well. Memories and promises are important things to her, and she believes that the heart will Find A Way through tough odds to keep those promises. While not as optimistic on the fate of Nobodies, she is hopeful, almost sage, and accepting of her own small role in Sora's destiny.
Sample Post:
Although we promised to stay together, I'm alone again. However, I'm sure that I'll find my friends if I look hard enough. No matter how long or far I'll have to walk I'll keep on going so I can keep that promise to the ones I care about. This world is warm, much warmer than what I'm used to, and maybe a little sticky like melted, puddled ice cream. That would be nice to have on a day like this, but I think this world's food is much different than what I'm familiar with. At first, the people of this world were frightening, and they were hungry and rotting and wanting brains to eat… Well, I didn't have any extra I could spare so I offered to draw pictures of brains for them.
They were very critical and just wanted red, lots and lots of red all over the page, to make it more...juicy? I think I used up half of my crayon. And their art criticism was confusing…how am I to know if the drawing is more "Picasso" or "Van Gogh?" I've seen paintings and pictures in books which were very beautiful, and then graffiti that made me laugh - but they're the same, right? "Art." And I've read that art is usually made to reflect or express feelings, but I'm a Nobody. We Nobodies don't have hearts and we're not supposed to have feelings, at least, not really, but… I don't think these people minded. I did my best and in the end the picture didn't look too appetizing, but they stared at it, turned it around a few times, nodded and then ate it up, paper and all.
I guess they approved.
This world, Camp Fud, is full of darkness but it's not as scary as it seems. These people are only looking for brains, while we Nobodies are searching for a heart. Oh, but not literally, not like something I could hold or eat, though the Zombies were quite kind in offering me their own hearts... I hope they'll be all right without any healing items... And they were nice enough to give me directions. I'll remember to avoid the lake and head north. I'm glad we've met. If I ever cross their paths again, I'll be certain to draw more pictures for them.
When I see my friends again, I want to draw them a picture, too. I want it to be something warm and friendly. From now on, I'll only be making new memories for myself and with them. They'll be happy ones - I promise.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ion (Original)
Series: Tales of the Abyss
Character Age: 12
Canon: The land of Auldrant is dominated by the Score, special stones that can predict the future and, as the masses so popularly believe, can lead you to happiness. Daath is a Score hotspot, centered around a giant church and home to the current Fon Master. The Fon Master is one of the most powerful positions in Auldrant, holding a great influence over the other two countries. But, as everyone knows, the Church is always evil, and this Fon Master Ion doesn't exactly help that image.
Ion has many Issues, most of them involving humanity. And life. And the universe. And everything. He believes that people who follow the Score or have other similar beliefs are trash and distances himself from them, and has eventually come to distance himself from the world entirely. He's the unruffled sort who never raises his voice and has no qualms about killing someone with a smile or to lie to the masses. His manner of speech is just barely polite, it being obvious he doesn't say all of what he's thinking, and he occasionally tags a question to the end of his sentences (such as "right?"). Of course, as Fon Master, he also has to play the part of the calm, unbiased mediator who wishes for nothing more than world peace, good will, and all that saintly stuff. Despite this, he doesn't do a great job of appearing friendly. But really? Him? Care? Check the Score-it's getting pretty cold in Hell.
Sample Post:
I can't say I was expecting such a... flamboyant welcome. Even for one who held a status such as myself, it really wasn't necessary. To think you literally poured your hearts into the parade; that would usually cause a few issues, right? Not so much with ethics as much as staying alive afterwards. But I'm not here to judge your methods of welcoming-though I would like to apologize for the earlier incident regarding a few of those who had greeted me personally, but I'm sure you understand. In the future, those lost limbs will remind you the "underage" are not always fond of your affections, physical or otherwise. You seem to function just as efficiently without them in any case, so it's not too much of a loss. Now, regardless of earlier difficulties, I'm here to settle a dispute.
It seems that certain residents, some called Campers and others I've been told are called "furries", are being violated by one called Marcy without their consent. While certain parties seem to find this particularly entertaining, having even gained some sort of audience, there have been enough complaints that warrant a need for a mediator. However, while previous and more willing persons have applied for this position, they've apparently been voted out. My translator, Babel, informed me that because I "know how to Score", I was suggested for the job. Since I do have experience in this sort of matter and lack another option, I suppose have no other choice but to coincide with their request. I will be acting as the neutral party in this matter.
From what Babel has told me, it seems Marcy has a passion for "the youthful and of the nubile body", and seems to lose control of herself unintentionally, meaning only to express her affection for those around her. Having experienced something similar earlier today, I can understand the Campers' discomfort. But she pleads innocent, as the victims' unwillingness to listen to her apologies and reforms have left in despair. It's a vicious cycle. She can't apologize and those around her become hostile, labeling her as, to put it kindly, one a bit too fond of the underaged. While a majority of the residents refused to consider her stance and Babel was having trouble discerning whether Marcy was investing in a noose or a white van, a compromise of sorts was in order.
At least, that's what was intended. Unfortunately, she was not pleased with the message I had Babel deliver to her, and the suggested maids did not quell her anger. I suppose I could attempt to talk to her in person to yield more successful results, but I'd rather refrain. The sacrifice of a few can benefit to the good of many, you know?
Poll Vote!