(no subject)
NEW ROUND.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. cloooosed, I'll send out notifications in a bit.
Character: Batou's Personal Tachikoma
Series: Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex: Solid State Society
Character Age: Not really alive, but only existent for 4 years and has the mind of a 10 year old.
Canon: Ghost in the Shell follows the lives of the members of Section 9, an elite Japanese police force working around the year 2030. Section 9's work usually deals on thwarting cyber terrorists, but they've also done everything from neutralizing a coup d'état to controlling a bratty diplomat's kid. They specialize in technology, stealth combat, and fan service.
Eight members of Section 9 are advanced AI housed in sedan-sized tanks named Tachikoma. Each of the Tachikoma functions individually and has its own unique personality. Among the traits shared by all eight are an innate curiosity, playfulness, and love for the humans who love them. Batou is one of said humans, and while he cares about all of the Tachikoma he always gives special treatment to one of them. This Tachikoma is a little more of a show off, more likely to look before it leaps, and definitely come up with crazier ideas than the others. Needless to say, Batou's Personal Tachikoma gets into more hijinks and trouble.
Sample Post:
Everyone pay attention! Or at least not the campers, cause you all have been acquainted with technology hopefully. I'm talking to YOU Mr. Zombie and Mr. Gorilla, and Mr. Toucan you can stop uploading those JPGs of Fruit Loops and listen! I'm here to educate you all on the internet. The internet is a vast electrical network that connects people from all sorts of places and walks of life. And as I read on the internet once, that it is a series of tubes. Not like a big truck.
So as you can see here, I'm building my own internet with these pipes. See and if you connect this piece right over here-yes, you hold that right there. And I'm going to stuff these ceiling cats in this piece and if we connect it with the piece with the Nigerian princes over there we can start to get this internet really cooking!
Ok then we insert tab B into slot A. And then with this piece we use Option 3. I think I might need to call Ikea about this dohicky over here but if you attach it to the opening with all those Avenue Q songs then it fits. Aaaaaand we're done!
AHAHAHA! Behold its wonder! Gander upon its beauty! IT LIVES! Bwhahahaha!! Look at me! I have invented the internet!
…For some reason I feel the need to switch to biodiesel.
Poll Vote!
Character: Oki
Series: Okami
Character Age: No canon age is given, though he appears to be in his late teens and he definitely acts immature at times.
Canon: So one day a wolf wakes up from a really long nap to find out that an 8-headed snake is trying to cover the world in darkness. The only way to save the world is to use a magic paint brush and special painting techniques to defeat the demons roaming about. If that wasn’t crazy enough, the poor mutt can’t even take credit for the work: she has to keep an incompetent doof alive long enough to get all of the glory. Pretty rough for the sun goddess Amaterasu, huh? But it’s not like she only meets that one idiot during her whole journey. As she travels through the land of Nippon, Amaterasu meets a wide variety of people. Most see her as just a regular white wolf and treat her as such, but a few special people see her for the goddess she is. Oki, who appears in the later part of the game, is one of those few special people.
Oki is not the brightest of characters. For one, if something bad happens, he immediately assumes demons caused it. He is a bit on the rash side, and is the type to cross swords first and ask questions later. He’s also very thick-headed, jumps to conclusions very quickly, and often does what he thinks is right even when everyone else tells him it’s wrong. These traits help to magnify his hero complex, too: he would rather fight on his own than let anyone else risk their lives to help him, and he’ll almost always refuse help even if he needs it. But despite these shortcomings, Oki really does have his heart in the right place. He cares a lot about his home and his friends, and he is willing to fight until his last breath to protect them. So, while he may not always make the right choices, he is one of the bravest people in the game, and he will always be there for those who need him.
For reference: Everyone in the world of Okami uses a more formal way of speaking, and they say everything in the most tl;dr way possible.
Sample Post:
Something evil is afoot here. I should not have woken up in this strange land this morning, especially not outside and next to a lake. Furthermore, the sacred sword Kutone, which I had been carrying up to this point, had been replaced with this sack of flour. This is clearly a fiendish act. There isn’t a kitchen anywhere nearby, and I can’t make anything from flour alone anyways. So, a cook must have been the one who made the switch! And it must be a demon cook, at that. No ordinary cook would be so fiendish as to steal my sword and replace it with this sack of flour.
What is this? Something is written on the side of this bag. “Marcy jr.” This must be the name of the cook who originally owned this sack of flour. I can use the name to track down the owner, and then I can retrieve what has been stolen. This Marcy person must have a lot of skill to steal from me while sleeping, so she must have some sort of plan. Yes, she must be planning to use the sword against me in battle! I cannot allow this to happen. I will slay that foul beast before she has a chance! She may have taken my sword, but I can still fight! I must prepare for ba-
Did that sack of flour just move? No, it’s not alive. It could not possibly- There, it moved again! This is no ordinary sack of flour. Of course…it must be possessed by a demon! Marcy does not intend to kill me at all: she stole my weapon and left one of her minions to do it for her! I was just fortunate enough to awaken before this demon escaped from its flour bed. Well, I will not allow this to happen. Show yourself, demon! Remove yourself from this sack and fight me!
… An infant demon? This is far too small to be anything but that. It shouldn’t be that much of a challenge to defeat, even without a sword. Marcy has severely underestimated me. She must not be as clever as I originally thought. Surely she knew I was a better fighter than that- hey, demon, you get off of my arm right now! We’re supposed to be fighting, not cuddling or hugging or- That is not a proper thing to do to a hand! Let go!
…
No amount of purification will be able to remove this violation from my hand.
Poll Vote!
Character: Lady Aska of Fahren
Series: Magic Knight Rayearth
Character Age: 10
Canon:Three teenage girls. Three mechas. One world to save. At least, that's what Hikaru, Umi and Fuu were told by Clef when they were magically transported to Cephiro. And they did! The second time, however, made things a little more complicated than just "saving the world".
Lady Aska is one of those complications. She's a competitor, aiming to become the pillar of Cephiro so that she could...turn it into a land of cakes and sweets. She may be small, but she talks big. Bold, daring, selfish and demanding, Lady Aska doesn't take no for an answer and what she wants, she gets. Despite her tendencies to go too far with her desires, Aska believes in the people she loves and is not afraid to seek out the truth.
Note: Aska uses the royal "we" when she talks.
Sample Post:
Attention citizens!
We now rule the land of CFUD! You will no longer answer to the Director, but to us, Empress Aska of Fahren! All your bases and territories belong to us. Do not worry for we are not unkind rulers and we will make CFUD into a beautiful paradise full of chocolates and candy for everyone! Our motto is "If there is no brains, give them cake!". Cake is a good replacement for brains anyway. Brains don't taste very good and we certainly don't like them. Cake will make everything better, we promise! Now, swear your loyalty to us and we will promise none of you will get hurt as we take on the director for the ownership of CFUD!
But first, there are a few obstacles we need to remove. Namely, the creature that lives in the lake by the name of Marcy. Do not worry, as we are Empress, we can take on anything the Director throws at us for we are the champions! They shall be no match for our beauty, wit and intelligence! Ohohohohohoho! She will never see us coming! We will be stealthy like ninjas in the night! Not that we're not stealthy. We have to maintain a certain presence to our people, after all. All must love us or despair! That's our other motto. Remember CFUD, we just want what's best for us! ...Maybe we want what's best for you as well, but we're still your number one priority!
Ah, yes, mustn't forget about the creature in the lake. Is it pretty? If it is, we might consider having it as a pet. A royal empress needs good pets to hug and squeeze and cuddle! And if it sparkles, even better! We do love sparkles and shinies. And as your empress, we demand we get lots of sparklies when we arrive at CFUD and claim victory over the Director! Ohohohohoho~ It'll be a day to remember as we triumph over evil! Remember, you're all our servants now and if you disagree, it will be a very, very bad thing for you~.
For we are Empress and if you disobey, we will not be amused.
Poll Vote!
Character: Vivi Orunitia
Series: Final Fantasy IX
Character Age: Physically, approximately 9 years
Canon:When the curtain opens on Final Fantasy IX, Vivi isn't exactly what you'd call 'worldly'. Living in a cave with his grandfather hasn't prepared him for the con-artist who sells him a bogus ticket to a play in Alexandria. He doesn't have a guidebook on how to deal with wacky thieves, a runaway princess, or the knowledge that his race was created to be mindless weapons for a plot of world domination. At first, he isn't sure how to deal with it. But sometimes life will take you places you're not ready to go. That's when you start trailblazing.
Vivi is a very nice, very polite, very introspective and even moody little woobie. He thinks very deep thoughts, and they worry him. Despite his OVER NINE-THOUSAND level magic power and a strong desire to help his friends, he'd rather not fight, at all. During the start of his journey, Vivi had to be dragged (flailing and screaming) into battles, and if he was alone, preferred to run. His friends backed him up, eventually helped him grow a backbone, and his desire to know and understand drove him forward until those protective urges took over. Now that the battles are done, he'd rather be safe and happy surrounded by friends than go out adventuring. But if you need him, he'll be there.
Sample Post:
If you were owls, I'd almost think this was home! Hmm. It's... strange. There are zombies around- I had to fight a couple, but they didn't move that fast so I didn't have to kill them. Well, again. They've already died at least once, or they wouldn't be zombies. It's kind of sad, when you think about it. They were alive, now they're dead, but they won't stay dead and... uh-oh. I wonder if I'm a zombie. I... don't have any Magic Tags if I am.
It's interesting, yanno? The zombies at home never said 'BRAINS'. They never said anything- just moaned or yelled and attacked. I don't mind the 'BRAINS'. I mean, they're just hungry. There's nothing wrong with being hungry! Everyone has to eat. 'BRAINS' is a lot better than 'KILL'.
Hmm. If I am a zombie, at least I can still think. See, I think I Stopped. I was really tired- I wrote a letter to my friends, hope they're all doing okay- I hugged my sons. I hope they'll be okay too. I told them I'd still be around- as long as they remembered me, and thought about me. They all have good imaginations, so I think they'll do it right. They told me to say hi to Grandpa for them... but I don't see him here.
I said goodbye to everybody and things started to get really, really slow. I felt sleepy and then... well, I woke up here. So I Stopped, and then I... started up again? I used to think when your body Stopped, the 'you' went somewhere else- maybe to the sky. Maybe I'd just drift along on the wind like you guys do- and watch the world from above.
That's not nice! Maybe it is a silly idea, but after we beat the Iifa tree, souls stopped going to it. I don't know what happens to them now. Maybe mine came here and brought my body along!
...If you're going to be mean, I'll go talk to the Zombies again. At least they're optimistic! Yes. They are. They ask everyone for BRAINS, because they hope someone will give them some!
Poll Vote!
Character: Riley Freeman
Series: Boondocks
Character Age: 8
Canon: Riley Freeman is the younger brother of the 10-year old, self-proclaimed black rights activist, Huey Freeman, and quite the polar opposite. Along with his grandfather and brother, he relocated from a predominantly African-American neighborhood in Chicago, to the upper-scale White suburbia called, 'Woodcrest' in Northern Illinois. This proved to be quite the culture shock for both Huey and Riley.
Riley is notably a troublemaker and a misfit. Fascinated by the 'thug' way of life, his main aspirations are to 'be gangsta', 'get that paper', and collect 'bitches' like trading cards. He sometimes accompanies Gin Rummy and Rummy's best friend, Ed Wuncler III, two young militants of European descent in their early 20's who are no less fascinated by the thug life than Riley is. Together, they team up to wreak havoc in as many ways possible in an attempt to prove their 'thugishness', be it pretending to rob a bank, foraging house robberies for practice, or attempting to kidnap Oprah Winfrey. Despite this, and quite ironically, Riley tends to display better judgement than that of the significantly older Gin and Ed. Let us not forget to mention that he is only eight years old.
He has quite the misogynistic outlook and refer to all women as, 'bitches'. According to Riley, having to spend money on women at all, including buying them dinner - regardless of custom - classifies all women as 'hoes'. He is also notably a bit homophobic, and is uncomfortable with any sort of same-sex affection, and dismisses nearly any of the sort as 'gay'. He sees envy as a positive thing, and bases his personal worth on how much hatred he accumulates, as the amount of hatred one accumulates is directly proportionate to how much wealth one has, according to Riley.
Other than that, he is actually an extremely gifted artist, possessing artistic talent far beyond his years. Of course, he oftentimes chooses to express this way in one of the most delinquent ways possible - which is through graffiti. He also is extremely talented at basketball, with an ego to match his skills. He can hardly hold a candle to Huey when it comes to fighting, but he always comes equipped - be it a one of his various pellet guns, a baseball bat...or a frying pan conveniently hidden in the back of his pants.
Sample Post:
...LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
My name is Riley Freeman, but you they call me, a.k.a. Riley Escobar - you know what I'm sayin'? I got all kinds a' names, like, a.k.a. Lil Escobar, a.k.a. Young Jeezy, a.k.a. Lil Romeo, a.k.a. Riley Jeezy, a.k.a. Young Reezy, a.k.a. H.R. Paper Stacks, a.k.a. Horse Choker, a.k.a. Lil Jizzman, a.k.a. --No you shut the Hell up or I'm gonna go over there and pop you one. You think I'm kidding?
Anyway, I stand before you all to bring an important announcement.
Ahem.
First, I want to point out that all y'all niggas is gay. Not sayin' that I got a problem with you monkey-smackin', carpet-bumpin' folk... Just - if you gay, don't touch me. That's all. You hear me? I ain't into that. I got me a pencil right here and I know how to use it, just in case. Y'all gay niggas swarm the place like cockroaches. No hard feelings...Just sayin'. Other than that, we cool.
Secondly.
Where's the goddamn basketball court? As future child-star Young Reezy, I demand a basketball court. How's a young celebrity like me gonna stack my paper and get my hoes if I can't show off my skills? You better be ready to sip on some Haterade 'cuz I can take down any one o' yall. And if you want me representin' your team, contact my agent. I'm sure you've heard of him. Grandad "Bitches" Freeman. I take my payment in cold, hard paper and/or bitches. Yeah. And don't be sending me any of them zombie bitches, neither.
Third.
What kinda name is 'Camp F*ck You Die' anyway?! What's that supposed to mean? You expect me to believe that there's a goddamn giant tentacle monster in the lake? Nigga I'm EIGHT, not no damn four years old. And where all the black folk at? I know there gotta be some black people up in here. Can you raise your hand, like I am doing right now, if you of NEGRO descent? Come on now, we in Louisiana for crying out loud. Ain't this supposed to be like Blacksville or something? Black people, can you hear me? ARE THERE ANY PEOPLE OF AFRICAN DESCENT PRESENT. Please don't tell me I'm th---...AM I THE ONLY NIGGA IN THIS CAMP??! Pray to God I ain't the only nigga in this camp. If I am, I'm gonna go up there and smack God upside the head and tell that b*tch to make me a grilled-cheese sandwich. And some tacos. B*tch ain't got nothin' on me. Shoot.
Poll Vote!
Name: Kittan
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Age: l-lolGainax. I mean, 17.
Canon: Gurren Lagann is the dramatic tale of a man and his destiny. Sometimes he's running from it, fighting it, embracing it or being betrayed by it, but the important words here are man and destiny. And not just his destiny, but the destiny of the entire human race -- imprisoned underground for centuries, one day they unearth some fighting spirit that rockets them straight to the surface and into a war with the oppressive beastmen armies. Using captured enemy mecha called Ganmen, the human resistance -- the Gurren Brigade -- tirelessly fights for their right to party under the open sky.
A party in his own mind, Kittan is loud, assertive, in-your-face and all those qualities that set him up for being the perfect shounen-retard hero. Unfortunately for him, retarded heroes aren't in terribly short supply with this cast, so he'll have to take what he can get. Serving the Gurren Brigade in any capacity he can -- friendly rival, enthusiastic grunt, and even temporary leader -- he'll do whatever it takes to make it through the wilderness and see it through! Like a virgin, Kittan talks big, but in the end he's a nice guy who's completely topped by women and kids -- particularly if they're super attractive, especially moe or one of his three younger sisters. When he's not busy blustering, Kittan does have a certain ability for plans, but worries that he's not quite GAR enough to come up with the logic-defying speeches that really speak to your heart, if not to your brain.
Sample Post:
Oi oi you idiots, you call this ready for battle? Tch, this is Camp Fuck You Die, aint it? I expected the guys trapped here to be real tough bastards -- Sure you look a little dead on your feet, but didn't you say you were in the middle of guerrilla warfare?! What does it matter that those jokes are old -- you should be used to this sort of thing, so I wanna see some fightin' spirit out of all a y'all! Listen, when the great Kittan of the Gurren Brigade receives a mysterious transmission from a cabin full of sexy girls looking for some help with their impassible barrier, like hell I'm going to let something like a reputation for being "impossible to get into" or "full of really tough people" or even "it's a trap" get in my way! In a situation like that, any real man is gonna kick reason to the curb and do the impossible! I'm sure those ladies are starting to lose hope, trapped like this, holding out for a hero -- and here we have a collection of heroic knights in shining ar-- ...ah, well, alright, in stinky muck covered rags or something, but a rescue's a rescue and I'm sure those girls'll be grateful! And just in case they wanna express some of that gratitude, well, you know what they say: the knight was made for love! We play our cards right and we might just get to see the invisible and touch the untouchable, heh heh!
Hah, yeah, now you're fired up! Alright! Listen up, men! What do we have here? That's right: a tree full of panties! And if there's one true thing a tree full of panties tells you, it's that somewhere nearby there's an entire tree's worth of girls without their underwear on! Okay okay okay! -- First step here is gonna be to grab some of these -- everyone get a handful or two -- oi oi, without trying to eat them, back up squad-leader Mnaaaarg. I don't care if they're edible or not, isn't that sort of thing pretty tasteless? Come on! I put you in charge there 'cause the others said you were the brains of the operation, but try and show a little leader-spirit, right? Really, were you motivated at all or just looking for an easy panty raid?
I had high hopes you for you guys, you know, but it doesn't look like any of you are actually equipped for the job -- are you really men or aren't you? Hey, I don't wanna hear that it fell off! I'm talking about in your souls! A man's soul never falters, doesn't shrink when faced with cold, harsh realities, and is always, always ready when a lady needs it! Ah, well, I guess I couldn't really put it into words right -- you weren't supposed to laugh! Argh, fine! I guess I'll just go solo and rescue those girls by myself! Screw you! I don't need a bunch of dickless jerks who can't even come up with a better parting insult than "go get stuffed"!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. cloooosed, I'll send out notifications in a bit.
Character: Batou's Personal Tachikoma
Series: Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex: Solid State Society
Character Age: Not really alive, but only existent for 4 years and has the mind of a 10 year old.
Canon: Ghost in the Shell follows the lives of the members of Section 9, an elite Japanese police force working around the year 2030. Section 9's work usually deals on thwarting cyber terrorists, but they've also done everything from neutralizing a coup d'état to controlling a bratty diplomat's kid. They specialize in technology, stealth combat, and fan service.
Eight members of Section 9 are advanced AI housed in sedan-sized tanks named Tachikoma. Each of the Tachikoma functions individually and has its own unique personality. Among the traits shared by all eight are an innate curiosity, playfulness, and love for the humans who love them. Batou is one of said humans, and while he cares about all of the Tachikoma he always gives special treatment to one of them. This Tachikoma is a little more of a show off, more likely to look before it leaps, and definitely come up with crazier ideas than the others. Needless to say, Batou's Personal Tachikoma gets into more hijinks and trouble.
Sample Post:
Everyone pay attention! Or at least not the campers, cause you all have been acquainted with technology hopefully. I'm talking to YOU Mr. Zombie and Mr. Gorilla, and Mr. Toucan you can stop uploading those JPGs of Fruit Loops and listen! I'm here to educate you all on the internet. The internet is a vast electrical network that connects people from all sorts of places and walks of life. And as I read on the internet once, that it is a series of tubes. Not like a big truck.
So as you can see here, I'm building my own internet with these pipes. See and if you connect this piece right over here-yes, you hold that right there. And I'm going to stuff these ceiling cats in this piece and if we connect it with the piece with the Nigerian princes over there we can start to get this internet really cooking!
Ok then we insert tab B into slot A. And then with this piece we use Option 3. I think I might need to call Ikea about this dohicky over here but if you attach it to the opening with all those Avenue Q songs then it fits. Aaaaaand we're done!
AHAHAHA! Behold its wonder! Gander upon its beauty! IT LIVES! Bwhahahaha!! Look at me! I have invented the internet!
…For some reason I feel the need to switch to biodiesel.
Poll Vote!
Character: Oki
Series: Okami
Character Age: No canon age is given, though he appears to be in his late teens and he definitely acts immature at times.
Canon: So one day a wolf wakes up from a really long nap to find out that an 8-headed snake is trying to cover the world in darkness. The only way to save the world is to use a magic paint brush and special painting techniques to defeat the demons roaming about. If that wasn’t crazy enough, the poor mutt can’t even take credit for the work: she has to keep an incompetent doof alive long enough to get all of the glory. Pretty rough for the sun goddess Amaterasu, huh? But it’s not like she only meets that one idiot during her whole journey. As she travels through the land of Nippon, Amaterasu meets a wide variety of people. Most see her as just a regular white wolf and treat her as such, but a few special people see her for the goddess she is. Oki, who appears in the later part of the game, is one of those few special people.
Oki is not the brightest of characters. For one, if something bad happens, he immediately assumes demons caused it. He is a bit on the rash side, and is the type to cross swords first and ask questions later. He’s also very thick-headed, jumps to conclusions very quickly, and often does what he thinks is right even when everyone else tells him it’s wrong. These traits help to magnify his hero complex, too: he would rather fight on his own than let anyone else risk their lives to help him, and he’ll almost always refuse help even if he needs it. But despite these shortcomings, Oki really does have his heart in the right place. He cares a lot about his home and his friends, and he is willing to fight until his last breath to protect them. So, while he may not always make the right choices, he is one of the bravest people in the game, and he will always be there for those who need him.
For reference: Everyone in the world of Okami uses a more formal way of speaking, and they say everything in the most tl;dr way possible.
Sample Post:
Something evil is afoot here. I should not have woken up in this strange land this morning, especially not outside and next to a lake. Furthermore, the sacred sword Kutone, which I had been carrying up to this point, had been replaced with this sack of flour. This is clearly a fiendish act. There isn’t a kitchen anywhere nearby, and I can’t make anything from flour alone anyways. So, a cook must have been the one who made the switch! And it must be a demon cook, at that. No ordinary cook would be so fiendish as to steal my sword and replace it with this sack of flour.
What is this? Something is written on the side of this bag. “Marcy jr.” This must be the name of the cook who originally owned this sack of flour. I can use the name to track down the owner, and then I can retrieve what has been stolen. This Marcy person must have a lot of skill to steal from me while sleeping, so she must have some sort of plan. Yes, she must be planning to use the sword against me in battle! I cannot allow this to happen. I will slay that foul beast before she has a chance! She may have taken my sword, but I can still fight! I must prepare for ba-
Did that sack of flour just move? No, it’s not alive. It could not possibly- There, it moved again! This is no ordinary sack of flour. Of course…it must be possessed by a demon! Marcy does not intend to kill me at all: she stole my weapon and left one of her minions to do it for her! I was just fortunate enough to awaken before this demon escaped from its flour bed. Well, I will not allow this to happen. Show yourself, demon! Remove yourself from this sack and fight me!
… An infant demon? This is far too small to be anything but that. It shouldn’t be that much of a challenge to defeat, even without a sword. Marcy has severely underestimated me. She must not be as clever as I originally thought. Surely she knew I was a better fighter than that- hey, demon, you get off of my arm right now! We’re supposed to be fighting, not cuddling or hugging or- That is not a proper thing to do to a hand! Let go!
…
No amount of purification will be able to remove this violation from my hand.
Poll Vote!
Character: Lady Aska of Fahren
Series: Magic Knight Rayearth
Character Age: 10
Canon:Three teenage girls. Three mechas. One world to save. At least, that's what Hikaru, Umi and Fuu were told by Clef when they were magically transported to Cephiro. And they did! The second time, however, made things a little more complicated than just "saving the world".
Lady Aska is one of those complications. She's a competitor, aiming to become the pillar of Cephiro so that she could...turn it into a land of cakes and sweets. She may be small, but she talks big. Bold, daring, selfish and demanding, Lady Aska doesn't take no for an answer and what she wants, she gets. Despite her tendencies to go too far with her desires, Aska believes in the people she loves and is not afraid to seek out the truth.
Note: Aska uses the royal "we" when she talks.
Sample Post:
Attention citizens!
We now rule the land of CFUD! You will no longer answer to the Director, but to us, Empress Aska of Fahren! All your bases and territories belong to us. Do not worry for we are not unkind rulers and we will make CFUD into a beautiful paradise full of chocolates and candy for everyone! Our motto is "If there is no brains, give them cake!". Cake is a good replacement for brains anyway. Brains don't taste very good and we certainly don't like them. Cake will make everything better, we promise! Now, swear your loyalty to us and we will promise none of you will get hurt as we take on the director for the ownership of CFUD!
But first, there are a few obstacles we need to remove. Namely, the creature that lives in the lake by the name of Marcy. Do not worry, as we are Empress, we can take on anything the Director throws at us for we are the champions! They shall be no match for our beauty, wit and intelligence! Ohohohohohoho! She will never see us coming! We will be stealthy like ninjas in the night! Not that we're not stealthy. We have to maintain a certain presence to our people, after all. All must love us or despair! That's our other motto. Remember CFUD, we just want what's best for us! ...Maybe we want what's best for you as well, but we're still your number one priority!
Ah, yes, mustn't forget about the creature in the lake. Is it pretty? If it is, we might consider having it as a pet. A royal empress needs good pets to hug and squeeze and cuddle! And if it sparkles, even better! We do love sparkles and shinies. And as your empress, we demand we get lots of sparklies when we arrive at CFUD and claim victory over the Director! Ohohohohoho~ It'll be a day to remember as we triumph over evil! Remember, you're all our servants now and if you disagree, it will be a very, very bad thing for you~.
For we are Empress and if you disobey, we will not be amused.
Poll Vote!
Character: Vivi Orunitia
Series: Final Fantasy IX
Character Age: Physically, approximately 9 years
Canon:When the curtain opens on Final Fantasy IX, Vivi isn't exactly what you'd call 'worldly'. Living in a cave with his grandfather hasn't prepared him for the con-artist who sells him a bogus ticket to a play in Alexandria. He doesn't have a guidebook on how to deal with wacky thieves, a runaway princess, or the knowledge that his race was created to be mindless weapons for a plot of world domination. At first, he isn't sure how to deal with it. But sometimes life will take you places you're not ready to go. That's when you start trailblazing.
Vivi is a very nice, very polite, very introspective and even moody little woobie. He thinks very deep thoughts, and they worry him. Despite his OVER NINE-THOUSAND level magic power and a strong desire to help his friends, he'd rather not fight, at all. During the start of his journey, Vivi had to be dragged (flailing and screaming) into battles, and if he was alone, preferred to run. His friends backed him up, eventually helped him grow a backbone, and his desire to know and understand drove him forward until those protective urges took over. Now that the battles are done, he'd rather be safe and happy surrounded by friends than go out adventuring. But if you need him, he'll be there.
Sample Post:
If you were owls, I'd almost think this was home! Hmm. It's... strange. There are zombies around- I had to fight a couple, but they didn't move that fast so I didn't have to kill them. Well, again. They've already died at least once, or they wouldn't be zombies. It's kind of sad, when you think about it. They were alive, now they're dead, but they won't stay dead and... uh-oh. I wonder if I'm a zombie. I... don't have any Magic Tags if I am.
It's interesting, yanno? The zombies at home never said 'BRAINS'. They never said anything- just moaned or yelled and attacked. I don't mind the 'BRAINS'. I mean, they're just hungry. There's nothing wrong with being hungry! Everyone has to eat. 'BRAINS' is a lot better than 'KILL'.
Hmm. If I am a zombie, at least I can still think. See, I think I Stopped. I was really tired- I wrote a letter to my friends, hope they're all doing okay- I hugged my sons. I hope they'll be okay too. I told them I'd still be around- as long as they remembered me, and thought about me. They all have good imaginations, so I think they'll do it right. They told me to say hi to Grandpa for them... but I don't see him here.
I said goodbye to everybody and things started to get really, really slow. I felt sleepy and then... well, I woke up here. So I Stopped, and then I... started up again? I used to think when your body Stopped, the 'you' went somewhere else- maybe to the sky. Maybe I'd just drift along on the wind like you guys do- and watch the world from above.
That's not nice! Maybe it is a silly idea, but after we beat the Iifa tree, souls stopped going to it. I don't know what happens to them now. Maybe mine came here and brought my body along!
...If you're going to be mean, I'll go talk to the Zombies again. At least they're optimistic! Yes. They are. They ask everyone for BRAINS, because they hope someone will give them some!
Poll Vote!
Character: Riley Freeman
Series: Boondocks
Character Age: 8
Canon: Riley Freeman is the younger brother of the 10-year old, self-proclaimed black rights activist, Huey Freeman, and quite the polar opposite. Along with his grandfather and brother, he relocated from a predominantly African-American neighborhood in Chicago, to the upper-scale White suburbia called, 'Woodcrest' in Northern Illinois. This proved to be quite the culture shock for both Huey and Riley.
Riley is notably a troublemaker and a misfit. Fascinated by the 'thug' way of life, his main aspirations are to 'be gangsta', 'get that paper', and collect 'bitches' like trading cards. He sometimes accompanies Gin Rummy and Rummy's best friend, Ed Wuncler III, two young militants of European descent in their early 20's who are no less fascinated by the thug life than Riley is. Together, they team up to wreak havoc in as many ways possible in an attempt to prove their 'thugishness', be it pretending to rob a bank, foraging house robberies for practice, or attempting to kidnap Oprah Winfrey. Despite this, and quite ironically, Riley tends to display better judgement than that of the significantly older Gin and Ed. Let us not forget to mention that he is only eight years old.
He has quite the misogynistic outlook and refer to all women as, 'bitches'. According to Riley, having to spend money on women at all, including buying them dinner - regardless of custom - classifies all women as 'hoes'. He is also notably a bit homophobic, and is uncomfortable with any sort of same-sex affection, and dismisses nearly any of the sort as 'gay'. He sees envy as a positive thing, and bases his personal worth on how much hatred he accumulates, as the amount of hatred one accumulates is directly proportionate to how much wealth one has, according to Riley.
Other than that, he is actually an extremely gifted artist, possessing artistic talent far beyond his years. Of course, he oftentimes chooses to express this way in one of the most delinquent ways possible - which is through graffiti. He also is extremely talented at basketball, with an ego to match his skills. He can hardly hold a candle to Huey when it comes to fighting, but he always comes equipped - be it a one of his various pellet guns, a baseball bat...or a frying pan conveniently hidden in the back of his pants.
Sample Post:
...LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
My name is Riley Freeman, but you they call me, a.k.a. Riley Escobar - you know what I'm sayin'? I got all kinds a' names, like, a.k.a. Lil Escobar, a.k.a. Young Jeezy, a.k.a. Lil Romeo, a.k.a. Riley Jeezy, a.k.a. Young Reezy, a.k.a. H.R. Paper Stacks, a.k.a. Horse Choker, a.k.a. Lil Jizzman, a.k.a. --No you shut the Hell up or I'm gonna go over there and pop you one. You think I'm kidding?
Anyway, I stand before you all to bring an important announcement.
Ahem.
First, I want to point out that all y'all niggas is gay. Not sayin' that I got a problem with you monkey-smackin', carpet-bumpin' folk... Just - if you gay, don't touch me. That's all. You hear me? I ain't into that. I got me a pencil right here and I know how to use it, just in case. Y'all gay niggas swarm the place like cockroaches. No hard feelings...Just sayin'. Other than that, we cool.
Secondly.
Where's the goddamn basketball court? As future child-star Young Reezy, I demand a basketball court. How's a young celebrity like me gonna stack my paper and get my hoes if I can't show off my skills? You better be ready to sip on some Haterade 'cuz I can take down any one o' yall. And if you want me representin' your team, contact my agent. I'm sure you've heard of him. Grandad "Bitches" Freeman. I take my payment in cold, hard paper and/or bitches. Yeah. And don't be sending me any of them zombie bitches, neither.
Third.
What kinda name is 'Camp F*ck You Die' anyway?! What's that supposed to mean? You expect me to believe that there's a goddamn giant tentacle monster in the lake? Nigga I'm EIGHT, not no damn four years old. And where all the black folk at? I know there gotta be some black people up in here. Can you raise your hand, like I am doing right now, if you of NEGRO descent? Come on now, we in Louisiana for crying out loud. Ain't this supposed to be like Blacksville or something? Black people, can you hear me? ARE THERE ANY PEOPLE OF AFRICAN DESCENT PRESENT. Please don't tell me I'm th---...AM I THE ONLY NIGGA IN THIS CAMP??! Pray to God I ain't the only nigga in this camp. If I am, I'm gonna go up there and smack God upside the head and tell that b*tch to make me a grilled-cheese sandwich. And some tacos. B*tch ain't got nothin' on me. Shoot.
Poll Vote!
Name: Kittan
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Age: l-lolGainax. I mean, 17.
Canon: Gurren Lagann is the dramatic tale of a man and his destiny. Sometimes he's running from it, fighting it, embracing it or being betrayed by it, but the important words here are man and destiny. And not just his destiny, but the destiny of the entire human race -- imprisoned underground for centuries, one day they unearth some fighting spirit that rockets them straight to the surface and into a war with the oppressive beastmen armies. Using captured enemy mecha called Ganmen, the human resistance -- the Gurren Brigade -- tirelessly fights for their right to party under the open sky.
A party in his own mind, Kittan is loud, assertive, in-your-face and all those qualities that set him up for being the perfect shounen-retard hero. Unfortunately for him, retarded heroes aren't in terribly short supply with this cast, so he'll have to take what he can get. Serving the Gurren Brigade in any capacity he can -- friendly rival, enthusiastic grunt, and even temporary leader -- he'll do whatever it takes to make it through the wilderness and see it through! Like a virgin, Kittan talks big, but in the end he's a nice guy who's completely topped by women and kids -- particularly if they're super attractive, especially moe or one of his three younger sisters. When he's not busy blustering, Kittan does have a certain ability for plans, but worries that he's not quite GAR enough to come up with the logic-defying speeches that really speak to your heart, if not to your brain.
Sample Post:
Oi oi you idiots, you call this ready for battle? Tch, this is Camp Fuck You Die, aint it? I expected the guys trapped here to be real tough bastards -- Sure you look a little dead on your feet, but didn't you say you were in the middle of guerrilla warfare?! What does it matter that those jokes are old -- you should be used to this sort of thing, so I wanna see some fightin' spirit out of all a y'all! Listen, when the great Kittan of the Gurren Brigade receives a mysterious transmission from a cabin full of sexy girls looking for some help with their impassible barrier, like hell I'm going to let something like a reputation for being "impossible to get into" or "full of really tough people" or even "it's a trap" get in my way! In a situation like that, any real man is gonna kick reason to the curb and do the impossible! I'm sure those ladies are starting to lose hope, trapped like this, holding out for a hero -- and here we have a collection of heroic knights in shining ar-- ...ah, well, alright, in stinky muck covered rags or something, but a rescue's a rescue and I'm sure those girls'll be grateful! And just in case they wanna express some of that gratitude, well, you know what they say: the knight was made for love! We play our cards right and we might just get to see the invisible and touch the untouchable, heh heh!
Hah, yeah, now you're fired up! Alright! Listen up, men! What do we have here? That's right: a tree full of panties! And if there's one true thing a tree full of panties tells you, it's that somewhere nearby there's an entire tree's worth of girls without their underwear on! Okay okay okay! -- First step here is gonna be to grab some of these -- everyone get a handful or two -- oi oi, without trying to eat them, back up squad-leader Mnaaaarg. I don't care if they're edible or not, isn't that sort of thing pretty tasteless? Come on! I put you in charge there 'cause the others said you were the brains of the operation, but try and show a little leader-spirit, right? Really, were you motivated at all or just looking for an easy panty raid?
I had high hopes you for you guys, you know, but it doesn't look like any of you are actually equipped for the job -- are you really men or aren't you? Hey, I don't wanna hear that it fell off! I'm talking about in your souls! A man's soul never falters, doesn't shrink when faced with cold, harsh realities, and is always, always ready when a lady needs it! Ah, well, I guess I couldn't really put it into words right -- you weren't supposed to laugh! Argh, fine! I guess I'll just go solo and rescue those girls by myself! Screw you! I don't need a bunch of dickless jerks who can't even come up with a better parting insult than "go get stuffed"!
Poll Vote!