(no subject)
NEXT ROUND, go go goooo.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Andrew Wells.
Series: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Character Age: 21.
Canon: Into every generation, a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, chosen to fight back the supernatural darkness... with a little help from her friends. Andrew Wells is one of these 'Scoobies', though it takes seven seasons and a redemption arc to get him there. Originally a member of the trio of evil nerds who attack the Slayer, Andrew must flee to Mexico to escape charges of bank robbery and accessory to murder. He returns only to be caught up in an Apocalypse and recruited to help the Slayer fight. Though he annoys his former nemesisisisises to tears, he provides enough fodder for geeky jokes that he never gets Jossed.
A quintessential fanboy, Andrew obsesses over anything from Star Trek to Lord of the Rings to James Bond - he's like a WoW nerd, but without much wow. Living in a fantasy world means he tries very hard to be something he's not, but his immature and sometimes cowardly nature usually shows through. Andrew is easily swayed by dramatics or threats. Though he is forced to mature over the course of the series, Andrew is often caught up in daydreams and loves to 'objectively' narrate the action, to the exasperation of those whose lives his camera is intruding on.
Sample Post:
Come with me now, gentle viewers, on a journey into the dark and angst-ridden swamps of Louisiana, to attend a gathering of fans unlike any other. I, your humble narrator, shall be your guide as I record the first ever convention at Camp, uh, Camp... Eff You Die. Um, as you can see, people here enjoy pretending to be their favorite characters, often at the expense of more practical concerns such as food or sleep. I'm just gonna assume the cosplay competition has already started. Perhaps now we can answer, at least in spirit, the age-old question which has plagued humanity - in a fight between Superman and Yoda, who would win?
If we're quiet, we may be able to get a close-up of some of the rare Louisiana wildlife. This gorilla's purple fur is a warning to would-be predators, who roam the landscape in herds of white vans. And over here, there's uh. Holy cats! I knew I didn't memorize the Zombie Survival Guide for nothing! E-excuse me, sir, could I maybe get you to hold this while I interact with-
Hey! Watch the camcorder! Newsflash, dude, highschool is over. Like, don't make me go all Hulk on your ass, okay? To disclaim, I'm talking comics Hulk and not the lame-ass movie adaption, though Jennifer Connelly is a remarkably versatile actor, and Eric Bana clearly has a rigorous work-out schedule... wouldn't you agree?
Ow! Ow ow owie! Stop it! I- okay, all right, you've twisted my arm, just tell me what you want. Is it a lackey? 'Cause my minioning days are over. B-but don't hurt me again! I can help you, I just don't do evil stuff anymore, like killing people or- or listening to Britney Spears. I won't wear a red shirt, but if you want someone to draw up all your plans for, I dunno, World Domination on a big board, or maybe gloat ineffectually while the hero escapes? I am totally your man. Or I could be your autobiographer, you look like you have a story to tell; a man who once fought on the side of good, lured back to the Dark Side of the Force by a single moment of weakness. I can hum the Imperial March - I'll even hit the high notes, listen!
Wait, where are you going? You can't just destroy my camera and promise me a life of supervillainy and then... I mean, we could have been friends. But fine! Run back to- run back to Mordor, you coward! That'll teach you to mess with a guy whose power level? Is nine thousand and one! You're lucky you escaped with your life!
Poll Vote!
Character: Lisa Silverman
Series: Persona 2: Innocent Sin
Character Age: 17
Canon: In Sumaru City, located somewhere in Japan, strange things are happening; mainly, any rumor that is spread enough eventually becomes reality. One of the popular rumors include a strange figure called Joker who, when summoned by calling your own cell phone, will grant your very wish in exchange for your "ideal energy" (basically, the dreams you wished to pursue). Because of this they become "Shadow People" who are nothing but an apathetic shell of themselves until they fade out of existence entirely. After an unfortunate encounter with Joker, our heroes use any clue they can find to go after and stop him, now having awoken to their ability called Persona, a physical form of their psyche they are able to summon.
Lisa is the outgoing and energetic girl of the group, considered to be the most popular girl out of her school and fairly good looking as well despite being a foreigner. She's very self-conscious about her looks because she used to be teased often about them, but she tries to use it to her advantage anyway. She clings to her status and popularity like no other and is quite the rebellious teenager towards her parents (they're American, but obsessed with the Japanese culture). Deep down, Lisa is a good girl who is more than willing to help save humanity, but on the outside she can be rather cold towards people and even those she considers friends. As for her quirky side, she's a huge Bruce Lee fangirl and imitates his martial arts style, and even inserts fangirl Cantonese into her everyday vocabulary.
App note: "Contracts" are made with demons in order to get on their friendly side, so you can get items or tarot cards, which are needed in order to fuse new Persona.
Sample Post:
All this way and they still got demons roaming around, but what a dumb bunch they are! So much for trying to make a contract with these guys. I saw a bunch of ugly ones that were huge and purple, but I guess all that fuzz they're covered in took over their brains. They just don't know good looks when they see them. . . What poor taste. There's no use trying to get anything good around here, much less cards; I should have expected it from some creepy place like this! If that wasn't bad enough, there's-- Oh, another demon? Ahh, I don't have time for this, I just want to-- Aiya! What was that?! There's no reason to try to attack me when I haven't done anything to you! Heh, I see how it is. I don't know what you're trying to tell me with all your moaning and grunting, but you're not getting it!
Mo hoh yi, you can't be serious. Is that all you got? You'll never be able to fight back with puny moves like that! I haven't fought against any monster this weak in a long time! If you as much as dream of being a challenge someday, then. . . here! I'll tell you what-- how about I show you some real moves? You're not going to get very far the way you are now. Someone might come by five minutes after I walked off and you'd be taken down right then and there, y'know? Great! I'll teach you how it goes with Lisa Silverman's kung-fu lesson!
First off, your posture is way off if you want a good defense. If I did this, I could ram my fist straight through your chest, see? You leave yourself open, and-- Hey, don't look at me like that, I'm not going to do it during a lesson. Now if this was a real fight, I couldn't make any guarantees. . . Just follow my lead for now, okay? Good! Next, position your feet like so, and then your arms-- Fan ah! Where did your other one go?! Look, you can't go off and start losing limbs like that! Every time you do you have to come up with a new technique, and think of what a waste of time it is to have to practice new ones so much! It's no wonder you have nothing worth going up against. Well, we didn't get very far into our lesson anyway, so you still have time to try something else.
I know, let's focus on your kicks! Both of those look stable enough, so you won't lose those so easily, right? Stop looking so worried, confidence is the key to getting this down. Instead of how you had them before, place yourself just like this, so you can use your only arm to block better. All right, you've got it! Next, swing your leg like so, pivot, and kick! No, no, try it again-- Oh, you want me to demonstrate some more? No problem. One, two, kick! And another-- One, two-- Wait a second, why do you look so dazed and blissful all of a sudden? Don't tell me you. . . Keh he! You peeked, didn't you?! You're not supposed to look underneath a girl's skirt like that, especially when she's trying to help you!
Lesson's over! For that, I'll show you what it's like to be on the wrong end of a fight!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jim Hawkins
Series: Treasure Planet
Character Age: 15
Canon: Treasure Planet is a fairly straightforward retelling of Robert Louis Stevenson's classic Treasure Island... other than the addition of cyborgs, shapeshifters, and space adventures. Our hero, Jim Hawkins, is unexpectedly left with a map--specifically, a map to the legendary Treasure Planet, also known as Flint's Trove. As Treasure Planet had been a favourite bedtime story of his as a child, Jim immediately seizes the opportunity to set sail for the treasure. Along the way, he encounters space whales, pirates, and ultimately matures from a boy to a young man in this tragically underrated Disney adventure.
Growing up is hard, but for Jim, whose father abandoned him and his mother when he was young, it's even harder. Because of this, Jim grew up to be something of a delinquent, is slow to trust, defensive, and prefers to isolate himself from others most of the time. However, that doesn't mean he's afraid to speak his mind--which he often does. Winning Jim's trust over is a bit difficult, but once you do, he will be the most loyal friend you'll ever have. Despite being so withdrawn and sullen, Jim is really a softie deep down. He loves his mother very much; one of the main reasons he journeys to Treasure Planet is so he can use the rumored loot of a thousand worlds to rebuild her inn and finally make her proud of him. Another is his desire to escape from his mundane life and longing for adventure. With nothing but solar surfing as his only daily entertainment, it's no surprise that Jim would latch onto a possibility like treasure hunting the first chance he gets. Although he is said to be failing school, Jim is actually quite intelligent and resourceful--after all, he's the only person who can solve the puzzle of the map to Treasure Planet. During the voyage, Jim proves himself to be just as brave as any other spacer and with a determination not many can match. It's also this same courage and determination that saves the crew from a rather ugly fate in the end.
Sample Post:
If you had to choose between real life and freedom, which would you choose? Judging by that "frrrawrr"; I take it you'd pick the latter, too. But what do brains have to do with it? Okay, I know that you shouldn't run away from reality and all that, but there's nothing wrong with taking a vacation, right? Especially when today might've been my last chance to go spacing for a while. I'd just slip out of the house after breakfast, circle around the planet, and make it back in time for dinner. Mom would never even know I was gone. Well, the idea sounded better in my head anyway. Up until the longboat went haywire and decided that it would like to be more acquainted with a planet that suddenly popped out of nowhere. I'll give you three guesses for which planet it was and the first two don't count. But I could've sworn it wasn't there a second ago...
Anyway, that's my story Mister Gurr, was it? Or was that Mwar? Either way, I'd really appreciate it if you let me down from here. Being suspended in midair with nothing but a thin vine holding you up may be your idea of fun, but it sure isn't mine. No, see, that wasn't a request. We had a deal! You said that if I told you how I got here, you'd let me down. I don't care if I messed up your 'loli' trap or whatever this thing is supposed to be, just get me down! Okay, much better--oh no you don't! I didn't waste the last fifteen minutes just to provide entertainment for some... whatever you are! I want some answers and I want them now. Where am I? What is this place? And do I want to know why the lake is glowing like a rainbow?
...No way, you've gotta be kidding me. This can't be a summer camp. For one thing, it looks like a blizzard just hit so that pretty much destroys the image of warmth and sunshine. And for another, a swamp isn't exactly the most ideal location for parents to drop their little kids off for a whole month. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd have thought I was right back on Treasure Planet. This place really gives Flint's Trove a run for its money in the "Creepiest Forest" category. Wait--what do you mean they stay here forever? Look, just because some "Director" says so doesn't mean you can't leave. Besides, what would she want to keep all these kids for?
...So, you're saying the reason a bunch of innocent people are trapped here is because some lady's heart got broken and now she wants revenge. Listen, I get it. Really. Losing someone you love is hard, whether through death or other not so fatal reasons. Either way, that doesn't give her the right to take it out on other people. Alright, I need to have a talk with this Director of yours. Um, no thanks, I don't think I'll be needing any holy water if you can even call that gunk "holy". Geez, how hard could having a conversation with this lady be? You make it sound like I'm about to meet the devil.
...Hey! What's so funny?
Poll Vote!
Character: Ludwig (The Federal Republic of Germany)
Age: 20 (physically)
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia!
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia is a webcomic turned manga turned anime about anthropomorphized countries, and their relationships as they play out historical events. The comedy draws from national stereotypes as well as interesting details from historical events, where the events directly affect the countries (as characters) as opposed to the citizens of the countries (i.e. "The defenestration of Prague" is portrayed as Austria throwing N. Italy out of a window).
Germany seems to be one of the few sane characters in the series. Disciplined and serious in everything he does, he tries to conduct all meetings in an organized fashion so that things actually get done, and gets frustrated very quickly when things get off-track. His main goal is to avoid mistakes, which occasionally leads to him setting unrealistic expectations on himself and the other countries to do things perfectly. For example, in meetings he demands that the countries use data and comprehensive study results as evidence for their ideas to solve the world's problems, and that they condense their presentations to exactly eight minutes. Germany also holds duty in the highest regard, and will fulfill all orders given to him by his superiors regardless of his own opinions on the matter. Due to his serious nature, he often comes off as cold and intimidating, but he is loyal to those that he respects and cares for, and will always come to the rescue of Italy those he's promised help, no matter how many times they get themselves into stupid situations.
Sample Post:
Ms. Sayre, on behalf of my colleagues, I offer a full apology for their behavior and any inconvenience they may have caused you. Running a camp in this location must be difficult in and of itself, without dealing with the hassles of an invasion of one country, let alone several. ...The damage they've already wrought here is absolutely unacceptable. Additionally, the way that America has been treating this swamp environment is appalling at best -- that radiation death-trap he calls a lake should have a horror movie made about it and the species within it has mutated! Apparently no one ever explained to him the consequences of introducing non-indigenous species into a new setting.
I assure you, Ms. Sayre, the appropriate actions will be taken to remedy this situation before anything of value is lost. The sooner we arrive at the location where America and the other countries are staying, the sooner -- what? It couldn't be. "Welcome to Canada?" I must be misreading this sign. There is no possible way that America could be unaware as to the location of his own northern border. Mein Gott, we're in Louisiana. If we were any further away from Canada, we would be closer! ...On that matter, who are those people approaching us, and why wouldn't you take limps such as those to be examined by a doct -- oh no, the radiation has spread to America's citizens.
Alright! The first step is not to panic! Through proper organization and planning, a pandemic of this nature can be treated quickly and efficiently before it has a chance to spread any further. What needs to be done now is to have the area shut down, and those who have been infected or exposed must be immediately moved into a quarantine facility. We will also need hazmat teams to be brought into the area, to properly determine the exact causes and extent of the damage. Depending on how far it's spread, we may have to shut down the ports, and alert America's trade partners as to -- is that so? Madagascar has already shut down all of its shipyards and airports? ...Despite seeming a tad excessive, this kind of rapid response is admirable, and should be one that we strive to in handling this situation!
Ach... Something should probably be done about the creatures here as well. If not only to better understand what has occurred here, but also to study the effects that their mutations have had on them. Some of them may not be detrimental to the health of the creatures at all. Such as those toucans! They seem to be mocking me about the fact that the drinking age is 21 in America. ...And about the quality of American beer. While it may be true that the quality of such is indeed lacking, that is no concern of mine; I certainly have no intention of lingering here when there is work to be done.
Now, it is one thing to say that these things need to be done, and another to put such plans into action. So if you will excuse me, I will be off to ensure that -- what? No, I believe you are mistaken. There is no reason to keep me here; exposure to this environment would not affect me in the same way that -- you and your gorilla friends seem rather adamant about this. I see. ...Well, you certainly have the right to make your case. You have two minutes and thirty seconds to present your points using appropriate data and evidence to back up your assertions, and Wikipedia is not considered a valid source. You may begin.
Poll Vote!
Character: Tatsuya Suou
Series: Persona 2: Innocent Sin
Character Age: 17
Canon: In Sumaru City, rumors have a funny way of becoming reality-too bad there are so many of them flying around these days. The story starts with three high schoolers trying to invoke an urban legend, and becomes a quest into the dark side of the human psyche, punctuated by a lot of WTF-because even if everyone’s talking about something completely ridiculous, in Sumaru, it can (and will) still happen.
Tatsuya Suou is the silent protagonist of the story, a third year at Seven Sisters High School. Although his classmates think of him as the coolest guy at Sevens, his lone wolf act is a bit problematic-because lone wolves don’t have friends, and his social skills are a little off as a result. At first glance, he’s got an aura of competent badassery and a sexy gaze that makes even demons stop in their tracks, but he’s also a dork who’s very good at imitating engine noises, carries conversations with all the eloquence and expression of a brick wall, and hides behind his motorcycle to avoid the girl who likes him.
Note: Rumors in Persona 2 become real, even in cases where this changes the behavior of existing people. Additionally, the party can negotiate with monsters; Tatsuya’s conversation openers include imitating motorcycle noises, talking about masculinity, and giving a sexy gaze.
Sample Post:
Zombies. Sentient wildlife. Who knows what else. I see what must have happened. This used to be just an ordinary summer camp, and then somebody started talking. A few rumors about things that go bump in the night, urban legends about what likes to sneak around in the forest, some gossip about the camp director and her love life...and everything got out of control. Something has to be done, but it’s too late to counter the rumors now. All I can do is confront the real source of the problems: the one who began this twisted cycle in the first place.
I can’t do that from within the camp. There’s no reason for me to stay here. They’ve told me that nobody leaves by the front gate, but there must be another way out. The lake might connect to another body of water, so it could be an escape route...if I can avoid the hazards. I need more information, but asking the zombies will only be a waste of my time. I need something that can speak in coherent sentences, something that I have a chance of persuading to help me, something that lives near the lake and knows its way around...wait, is that a tentacle?
...yes, I was staring at you. Marcy, you say? I didn’t want much, really, just to talk to you for a bit. Have you ever thought about what makes a real man? You’re very concerned with real men, I see. I think a real man can protect everyone important to him and stand up to anything that confronts him. A man’s got to be strong. What do you think-you’re getting kind of close, Marcy. What are-wait, tentacles don't go th-
...
Vroom vroom.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ion Fortuna
Series: Trinity Blood (Manga)
Character Age: 18
Canon: Trinity Blood is the heartwarming tale of an adorable priest and his spunky sidekicks, a nun and a robot. Together, they fight crime and/or vampires! Alternatively, it's the tale of Abel Nightroad, who fails his way through a perilous world filled with politics, vampires, evil organizations and any number of other obstacles. One of these obstacles is trying to establish peaceful relations with the New Human Empire, a country where vampires - or Methuselah, as they call themselves- and humans live at harmony, headed by an immortal empress and protected by a shield that blocks the UV rays. To this goal, the Empire dispatches the two worst people it could possibly find to be messengers- one traitor and one elitist brat.
Ion Fortuna first appears as-- well, as the brat. A girly brat. He's loud, obnoxious, demeaning towards humans (who he refers to as Terrans), and very assured of his own species' superiority. After being spoiled for so long due to his position as a noble of the empire, he doesn't really give much thought to how his actions affect other people, and he expects people to just listen to him without question. After being jesusmacked in the face he starts to mature a little, and Ion begins to display some of his better personality traits: his honor, loyalty and strength of character standing out the most among these. While on the outside can still come across as a selfish spoiled brat sometimes, deep down, Ion is really a very nice boy ... as long as you don't call him girly ... or cute.
Sample Post:
Honestly. You call this a camp, Director? It looks more like somebody just dropped wood on the ground and called it cabins. I don't believe anyone could possibly come here voluntarily! Of course, that would explain why you've stooped to such low methods to bring more people in. Although, honestly, what have you been doing to the Terrans you have here? They shouldn't be oozing like that, and some of them are even missing limbs! At the very least, if you're going to kidnap them, take proper care of them afterward! The state they're in is absolutely disgraceful! Have you even been feeding them correctly? Citizens of Campfuckyoudie! The tyranny of the Director has clearly affected you greatly! You no longer need to fear, however. I will find the Director and make her free y-Would you stop dripping all over me!? I'm trying to help you people, what kind of way is that to treat your rescuer!? It's disgusting!
Urgh. You! You there, with the missing arm ... no, not you, you're only missing half an arm. No, that wasn't an invitation to start pulling the rest of it off, stop that immediately! I want-- never mind, you can both come with me. Now, take me to the Director! I need to correct the mistake she's made in bringing me here against my will! You do know the way, do you not? I'll trust that your open-mouthed drooling is agreement- no, not on me, we already discussed that! Excellent. I was beginning to wonder if anyone in this place even knew where to find their captor!
Now, let us focus on the matter at hand and go to the Director. I'm sure that when she realizes the gravity of this misunderstanding, she will amend it as soon as possib-- why are you laughing!? Stop that! This is no laughing matter. You're both aware of the consequences if I am kept here against my will, correct!? I am a noble of the Empire! Detaining me against my will is incredibly unwise, surely even this foolish Director knows something like that! Hah, I see you're finally beginning to understand your position here. It was about time! Now hurry up, I don't have all day- no, your legs falling off aren't any excuse for dawdling, I've seen some of you move at a perfectly acceptable pace even with your limbs missing!
What were you thinking anyway, to let things become like this! Even the animals here are unnatural- that ape is definitely the wrong colour! And don't think I missed that tree leering at me before! Either your Director's idea of healthy wildlife leaves a lot to be desired, or her motives are even worse than I'd first suspected! And even your musical choices are distasteful, especially coming from a ... a crustacean of some sort. 'Kiss the girl', indeed. What an inane song. It is a good thing for all of you that I arrived here before it could get any worse, not that this place could get much worse than it already is!
So, which way is this Director of yours? The sign says "THIS WAY TO CERTAIN DOOM," don't point me down there. I'm not stupid enough to fall for that! No, I'm going down the other path- stop protesting! I know enough about this to know not to follow signs that say CERTAIN DOOM right on them! Honestly, I think I've begun to realize why you keep shouting 'braaains', it's because you don't have any of your own! We're going down this way, whether you like it or not, and we'll find the Director with a minimum of incidAAAUGH
... A pit trap, is it? How very ... undignified. Hey, don't you give me that look! This is your own fault for providing such faulty directions, you know.
Poll Vote!
Character: Anastasia Romanov
Series: Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Character Age: 14
Canon: Set in the midst of World War I, Shadow Hearts: Covenant is an intriguing story about Dark Magic and power struggles, where Yuri Hyuga, an unusual and rather rude hero, is forced to travel across Europe in hopes to break a curse. As the game goes on, he finds out that Sapientes Gladios, the organization that the man who cursed him belongs to, has much more influence than he ever thought, and their leader is none other than Rasputin. As the group reaches Russia in an attempt to stop him, they stumble upon Anastasia Romanov: the fourth daughter of the Tsar Nicholas II and the only one in her family to be suspicious of Rasputin.
Extremely curious and quite brave, Anastasia is inquisitive and stubborn, and if she gets something on her mind it's difficult to make her give up. Overall, she does whatever she wants, no matter what it is or no matter how many people tell her not to. She's strong-willed, perhaps too demanding at times, and although she's but a young girl, she's ready to fight to protect her family-- and get a little exciting adventure at the same time. Of course, she has moments of weaknesses and fears, but is determined enough to try and bring change instead of just moping around. Romantic and daydreaming, she believes that loves comes in "unexpected, different forms" and is currently crushing on Kurando, one of the other party members, so much that she'd even wash his underwear.
Sample Post:
What in the world is this place? It's stinking and weird, but it's oddly exciting! I wonder what kind of things are around here? Let's take a look at the guide, the name says-- wait, Camp Fuck You Die? With a name like this, it doesn't really sound like a place a princess should be in. Well, no matter! I'm on an adventure after all; it is my duty to explore! You never know, maybe I'll find something that will help my country greatly! Let's see... oh, it says there are many different interesting creatures to meet; I guess I should take a few shots and make a new photo album for mommy and daddy. Alexei would love to see all sorts of weird things, too!
I wonder if they're dangerous? I'm sure I can fight them just fine, but just in case, maybe I can pretend to be a defenseless maiden and my prince will come to save me? Heehee, he would bravely defeat all the monsters, then he would hold me and tell me he was oh so worried, and that the thought of living a life without me was killing him! Then we'd get married and live together happily ever after. Waah, I can't believe I said it out loud, it's so embarrassing∼
But enough with daydreaming; it's time to go! The guide says one of the most characteristic creatures around here lives by the lake and it's not recommended to go close to it-- I wonder why? Well, it's fine. I'll just take a photo of it and then get away. Where is this lake anyway? Wow, this map is so confusing; I can't get where it is at all! Someone should tell these people to change it already. Wah, whatever, it can't be too far anyway, right?
There it is, I knew I could find it! A princess always knows her way around after all. So, where's this creature? Well? I'm waiting! I have many other things to look at, I can't stay here all day. Oh, wait, so there you are! What's that supposed to be? Uuuh, damn it, I can't really see it all! Is it really just weird... tentacles? I guess that'll still be enough to show back at home. Now, say "cheese"!
Wait, what..? I feel like I just got some kind of new power, but.. what is it? And was it a voice I just heard..? Something like "Acquired Skill: Tentacle Rape". Wait, there's something written on the back of the photo, let's check what it says... "Tentacle Rape: type Darkness. Use on the person you love for guaranteed results". Guaranteed results? Heheh, maybe I should try it out on Kurando! I'm sure he'll be so impressed, he'll fall in love with me right away!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Andrew Wells.
Series: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Character Age: 21.
Canon: Into every generation, a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, chosen to fight back the supernatural darkness... with a little help from her friends. Andrew Wells is one of these 'Scoobies', though it takes seven seasons and a redemption arc to get him there. Originally a member of the trio of evil nerds who attack the Slayer, Andrew must flee to Mexico to escape charges of bank robbery and accessory to murder. He returns only to be caught up in an Apocalypse and recruited to help the Slayer fight. Though he annoys his former nemesisisisises to tears, he provides enough fodder for geeky jokes that he never gets Jossed.
A quintessential fanboy, Andrew obsesses over anything from Star Trek to Lord of the Rings to James Bond - he's like a WoW nerd, but without much wow. Living in a fantasy world means he tries very hard to be something he's not, but his immature and sometimes cowardly nature usually shows through. Andrew is easily swayed by dramatics or threats. Though he is forced to mature over the course of the series, Andrew is often caught up in daydreams and loves to 'objectively' narrate the action, to the exasperation of those whose lives his camera is intruding on.
Sample Post:
Come with me now, gentle viewers, on a journey into the dark and angst-ridden swamps of Louisiana, to attend a gathering of fans unlike any other. I, your humble narrator, shall be your guide as I record the first ever convention at Camp, uh, Camp... Eff You Die. Um, as you can see, people here enjoy pretending to be their favorite characters, often at the expense of more practical concerns such as food or sleep. I'm just gonna assume the cosplay competition has already started. Perhaps now we can answer, at least in spirit, the age-old question which has plagued humanity - in a fight between Superman and Yoda, who would win?
If we're quiet, we may be able to get a close-up of some of the rare Louisiana wildlife. This gorilla's purple fur is a warning to would-be predators, who roam the landscape in herds of white vans. And over here, there's uh. Holy cats! I knew I didn't memorize the Zombie Survival Guide for nothing! E-excuse me, sir, could I maybe get you to hold this while I interact with-
Hey! Watch the camcorder! Newsflash, dude, highschool is over. Like, don't make me go all Hulk on your ass, okay? To disclaim, I'm talking comics Hulk and not the lame-ass movie adaption, though Jennifer Connelly is a remarkably versatile actor, and Eric Bana clearly has a rigorous work-out schedule... wouldn't you agree?
Ow! Ow ow owie! Stop it! I- okay, all right, you've twisted my arm, just tell me what you want. Is it a lackey? 'Cause my minioning days are over. B-but don't hurt me again! I can help you, I just don't do evil stuff anymore, like killing people or- or listening to Britney Spears. I won't wear a red shirt, but if you want someone to draw up all your plans for, I dunno, World Domination on a big board, or maybe gloat ineffectually while the hero escapes? I am totally your man. Or I could be your autobiographer, you look like you have a story to tell; a man who once fought on the side of good, lured back to the Dark Side of the Force by a single moment of weakness. I can hum the Imperial March - I'll even hit the high notes, listen!
Wait, where are you going? You can't just destroy my camera and promise me a life of supervillainy and then... I mean, we could have been friends. But fine! Run back to- run back to Mordor, you coward! That'll teach you to mess with a guy whose power level? Is nine thousand and one! You're lucky you escaped with your life!
Poll Vote!
Character: Lisa Silverman
Series: Persona 2: Innocent Sin
Character Age: 17
Canon: In Sumaru City, located somewhere in Japan, strange things are happening; mainly, any rumor that is spread enough eventually becomes reality. One of the popular rumors include a strange figure called Joker who, when summoned by calling your own cell phone, will grant your very wish in exchange for your "ideal energy" (basically, the dreams you wished to pursue). Because of this they become "Shadow People" who are nothing but an apathetic shell of themselves until they fade out of existence entirely. After an unfortunate encounter with Joker, our heroes use any clue they can find to go after and stop him, now having awoken to their ability called Persona, a physical form of their psyche they are able to summon.
Lisa is the outgoing and energetic girl of the group, considered to be the most popular girl out of her school and fairly good looking as well despite being a foreigner. She's very self-conscious about her looks because she used to be teased often about them, but she tries to use it to her advantage anyway. She clings to her status and popularity like no other and is quite the rebellious teenager towards her parents (they're American, but obsessed with the Japanese culture). Deep down, Lisa is a good girl who is more than willing to help save humanity, but on the outside she can be rather cold towards people and even those she considers friends. As for her quirky side, she's a huge Bruce Lee fangirl and imitates his martial arts style, and even inserts fangirl Cantonese into her everyday vocabulary.
App note: "Contracts" are made with demons in order to get on their friendly side, so you can get items or tarot cards, which are needed in order to fuse new Persona.
Sample Post:
All this way and they still got demons roaming around, but what a dumb bunch they are! So much for trying to make a contract with these guys. I saw a bunch of ugly ones that were huge and purple, but I guess all that fuzz they're covered in took over their brains. They just don't know good looks when they see them. . . What poor taste. There's no use trying to get anything good around here, much less cards; I should have expected it from some creepy place like this! If that wasn't bad enough, there's-- Oh, another demon? Ahh, I don't have time for this, I just want to-- Aiya! What was that?! There's no reason to try to attack me when I haven't done anything to you! Heh, I see how it is. I don't know what you're trying to tell me with all your moaning and grunting, but you're not getting it!
Mo hoh yi, you can't be serious. Is that all you got? You'll never be able to fight back with puny moves like that! I haven't fought against any monster this weak in a long time! If you as much as dream of being a challenge someday, then. . . here! I'll tell you what-- how about I show you some real moves? You're not going to get very far the way you are now. Someone might come by five minutes after I walked off and you'd be taken down right then and there, y'know? Great! I'll teach you how it goes with Lisa Silverman's kung-fu lesson!
First off, your posture is way off if you want a good defense. If I did this, I could ram my fist straight through your chest, see? You leave yourself open, and-- Hey, don't look at me like that, I'm not going to do it during a lesson. Now if this was a real fight, I couldn't make any guarantees. . . Just follow my lead for now, okay? Good! Next, position your feet like so, and then your arms-- Fan ah! Where did your other one go?! Look, you can't go off and start losing limbs like that! Every time you do you have to come up with a new technique, and think of what a waste of time it is to have to practice new ones so much! It's no wonder you have nothing worth going up against. Well, we didn't get very far into our lesson anyway, so you still have time to try something else.
I know, let's focus on your kicks! Both of those look stable enough, so you won't lose those so easily, right? Stop looking so worried, confidence is the key to getting this down. Instead of how you had them before, place yourself just like this, so you can use your only arm to block better. All right, you've got it! Next, swing your leg like so, pivot, and kick! No, no, try it again-- Oh, you want me to demonstrate some more? No problem. One, two, kick! And another-- One, two-- Wait a second, why do you look so dazed and blissful all of a sudden? Don't tell me you. . . Keh he! You peeked, didn't you?! You're not supposed to look underneath a girl's skirt like that, especially when she's trying to help you!
Lesson's over! For that, I'll show you what it's like to be on the wrong end of a fight!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jim Hawkins
Series: Treasure Planet
Character Age: 15
Canon: Treasure Planet is a fairly straightforward retelling of Robert Louis Stevenson's classic Treasure Island... other than the addition of cyborgs, shapeshifters, and space adventures. Our hero, Jim Hawkins, is unexpectedly left with a map--specifically, a map to the legendary Treasure Planet, also known as Flint's Trove. As Treasure Planet had been a favourite bedtime story of his as a child, Jim immediately seizes the opportunity to set sail for the treasure. Along the way, he encounters space whales, pirates, and ultimately matures from a boy to a young man in this tragically underrated Disney adventure.
Growing up is hard, but for Jim, whose father abandoned him and his mother when he was young, it's even harder. Because of this, Jim grew up to be something of a delinquent, is slow to trust, defensive, and prefers to isolate himself from others most of the time. However, that doesn't mean he's afraid to speak his mind--which he often does. Winning Jim's trust over is a bit difficult, but once you do, he will be the most loyal friend you'll ever have. Despite being so withdrawn and sullen, Jim is really a softie deep down. He loves his mother very much; one of the main reasons he journeys to Treasure Planet is so he can use the rumored loot of a thousand worlds to rebuild her inn and finally make her proud of him. Another is his desire to escape from his mundane life and longing for adventure. With nothing but solar surfing as his only daily entertainment, it's no surprise that Jim would latch onto a possibility like treasure hunting the first chance he gets. Although he is said to be failing school, Jim is actually quite intelligent and resourceful--after all, he's the only person who can solve the puzzle of the map to Treasure Planet. During the voyage, Jim proves himself to be just as brave as any other spacer and with a determination not many can match. It's also this same courage and determination that saves the crew from a rather ugly fate in the end.
Sample Post:
If you had to choose between real life and freedom, which would you choose? Judging by that "frrrawrr"; I take it you'd pick the latter, too. But what do brains have to do with it? Okay, I know that you shouldn't run away from reality and all that, but there's nothing wrong with taking a vacation, right? Especially when today might've been my last chance to go spacing for a while. I'd just slip out of the house after breakfast, circle around the planet, and make it back in time for dinner. Mom would never even know I was gone. Well, the idea sounded better in my head anyway. Up until the longboat went haywire and decided that it would like to be more acquainted with a planet that suddenly popped out of nowhere. I'll give you three guesses for which planet it was and the first two don't count. But I could've sworn it wasn't there a second ago...
Anyway, that's my story Mister Gurr, was it? Or was that Mwar? Either way, I'd really appreciate it if you let me down from here. Being suspended in midair with nothing but a thin vine holding you up may be your idea of fun, but it sure isn't mine. No, see, that wasn't a request. We had a deal! You said that if I told you how I got here, you'd let me down. I don't care if I messed up your 'loli' trap or whatever this thing is supposed to be, just get me down! Okay, much better--oh no you don't! I didn't waste the last fifteen minutes just to provide entertainment for some... whatever you are! I want some answers and I want them now. Where am I? What is this place? And do I want to know why the lake is glowing like a rainbow?
...No way, you've gotta be kidding me. This can't be a summer camp. For one thing, it looks like a blizzard just hit so that pretty much destroys the image of warmth and sunshine. And for another, a swamp isn't exactly the most ideal location for parents to drop their little kids off for a whole month. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd have thought I was right back on Treasure Planet. This place really gives Flint's Trove a run for its money in the "Creepiest Forest" category. Wait--what do you mean they stay here forever? Look, just because some "Director" says so doesn't mean you can't leave. Besides, what would she want to keep all these kids for?
...So, you're saying the reason a bunch of innocent people are trapped here is because some lady's heart got broken and now she wants revenge. Listen, I get it. Really. Losing someone you love is hard, whether through death or other not so fatal reasons. Either way, that doesn't give her the right to take it out on other people. Alright, I need to have a talk with this Director of yours. Um, no thanks, I don't think I'll be needing any holy water if you can even call that gunk "holy". Geez, how hard could having a conversation with this lady be? You make it sound like I'm about to meet the devil.
...Hey! What's so funny?
Poll Vote!
Character: Ludwig (The Federal Republic of Germany)
Age: 20 (physically)
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia!
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia is a webcomic turned manga turned anime about anthropomorphized countries, and their relationships as they play out historical events. The comedy draws from national stereotypes as well as interesting details from historical events, where the events directly affect the countries (as characters) as opposed to the citizens of the countries (i.e. "The defenestration of Prague" is portrayed as Austria throwing N. Italy out of a window).
Germany seems to be one of the few sane characters in the series. Disciplined and serious in everything he does, he tries to conduct all meetings in an organized fashion so that things actually get done, and gets frustrated very quickly when things get off-track. His main goal is to avoid mistakes, which occasionally leads to him setting unrealistic expectations on himself and the other countries to do things perfectly. For example, in meetings he demands that the countries use data and comprehensive study results as evidence for their ideas to solve the world's problems, and that they condense their presentations to exactly eight minutes. Germany also holds duty in the highest regard, and will fulfill all orders given to him by his superiors regardless of his own opinions on the matter. Due to his serious nature, he often comes off as cold and intimidating, but he is loyal to those that he respects and cares for, and will always come to the rescue of Italy those he's promised help, no matter how many times they get themselves into stupid situations.
Sample Post:
Ms. Sayre, on behalf of my colleagues, I offer a full apology for their behavior and any inconvenience they may have caused you. Running a camp in this location must be difficult in and of itself, without dealing with the hassles of an invasion of one country, let alone several. ...The damage they've already wrought here is absolutely unacceptable. Additionally, the way that America has been treating this swamp environment is appalling at best -- that radiation death-trap he calls a lake should have a horror movie made about it and the species within it has mutated! Apparently no one ever explained to him the consequences of introducing non-indigenous species into a new setting.
I assure you, Ms. Sayre, the appropriate actions will be taken to remedy this situation before anything of value is lost. The sooner we arrive at the location where America and the other countries are staying, the sooner -- what? It couldn't be. "Welcome to Canada?" I must be misreading this sign. There is no possible way that America could be unaware as to the location of his own northern border. Mein Gott, we're in Louisiana. If we were any further away from Canada, we would be closer! ...On that matter, who are those people approaching us, and why wouldn't you take limps such as those to be examined by a doct -- oh no, the radiation has spread to America's citizens.
Alright! The first step is not to panic! Through proper organization and planning, a pandemic of this nature can be treated quickly and efficiently before it has a chance to spread any further. What needs to be done now is to have the area shut down, and those who have been infected or exposed must be immediately moved into a quarantine facility. We will also need hazmat teams to be brought into the area, to properly determine the exact causes and extent of the damage. Depending on how far it's spread, we may have to shut down the ports, and alert America's trade partners as to -- is that so? Madagascar has already shut down all of its shipyards and airports? ...Despite seeming a tad excessive, this kind of rapid response is admirable, and should be one that we strive to in handling this situation!
Ach... Something should probably be done about the creatures here as well. If not only to better understand what has occurred here, but also to study the effects that their mutations have had on them. Some of them may not be detrimental to the health of the creatures at all. Such as those toucans! They seem to be mocking me about the fact that the drinking age is 21 in America. ...And about the quality of American beer. While it may be true that the quality of such is indeed lacking, that is no concern of mine; I certainly have no intention of lingering here when there is work to be done.
Now, it is one thing to say that these things need to be done, and another to put such plans into action. So if you will excuse me, I will be off to ensure that -- what? No, I believe you are mistaken. There is no reason to keep me here; exposure to this environment would not affect me in the same way that -- you and your gorilla friends seem rather adamant about this. I see. ...Well, you certainly have the right to make your case. You have two minutes and thirty seconds to present your points using appropriate data and evidence to back up your assertions, and Wikipedia is not considered a valid source. You may begin.
Poll Vote!
Character: Tatsuya Suou
Series: Persona 2: Innocent Sin
Character Age: 17
Canon: In Sumaru City, rumors have a funny way of becoming reality-too bad there are so many of them flying around these days. The story starts with three high schoolers trying to invoke an urban legend, and becomes a quest into the dark side of the human psyche, punctuated by a lot of WTF-because even if everyone’s talking about something completely ridiculous, in Sumaru, it can (and will) still happen.
Tatsuya Suou is the silent protagonist of the story, a third year at Seven Sisters High School. Although his classmates think of him as the coolest guy at Sevens, his lone wolf act is a bit problematic-because lone wolves don’t have friends, and his social skills are a little off as a result. At first glance, he’s got an aura of competent badassery and a sexy gaze that makes even demons stop in their tracks, but he’s also a dork who’s very good at imitating engine noises, carries conversations with all the eloquence and expression of a brick wall, and hides behind his motorcycle to avoid the girl who likes him.
Note: Rumors in Persona 2 become real, even in cases where this changes the behavior of existing people. Additionally, the party can negotiate with monsters; Tatsuya’s conversation openers include imitating motorcycle noises, talking about masculinity, and giving a sexy gaze.
Sample Post:
Zombies. Sentient wildlife. Who knows what else. I see what must have happened. This used to be just an ordinary summer camp, and then somebody started talking. A few rumors about things that go bump in the night, urban legends about what likes to sneak around in the forest, some gossip about the camp director and her love life...and everything got out of control. Something has to be done, but it’s too late to counter the rumors now. All I can do is confront the real source of the problems: the one who began this twisted cycle in the first place.
I can’t do that from within the camp. There’s no reason for me to stay here. They’ve told me that nobody leaves by the front gate, but there must be another way out. The lake might connect to another body of water, so it could be an escape route...if I can avoid the hazards. I need more information, but asking the zombies will only be a waste of my time. I need something that can speak in coherent sentences, something that I have a chance of persuading to help me, something that lives near the lake and knows its way around...wait, is that a tentacle?
...yes, I was staring at you. Marcy, you say? I didn’t want much, really, just to talk to you for a bit. Have you ever thought about what makes a real man? You’re very concerned with real men, I see. I think a real man can protect everyone important to him and stand up to anything that confronts him. A man’s got to be strong. What do you think-you’re getting kind of close, Marcy. What are-wait, tentacles don't go th-
...
Vroom vroom.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ion Fortuna
Series: Trinity Blood (Manga)
Character Age: 18
Canon: Trinity Blood is the heartwarming tale of an adorable priest and his spunky sidekicks, a nun and a robot. Together, they fight crime and/or vampires! Alternatively, it's the tale of Abel Nightroad, who fails his way through a perilous world filled with politics, vampires, evil organizations and any number of other obstacles. One of these obstacles is trying to establish peaceful relations with the New Human Empire, a country where vampires - or Methuselah, as they call themselves- and humans live at harmony, headed by an immortal empress and protected by a shield that blocks the UV rays. To this goal, the Empire dispatches the two worst people it could possibly find to be messengers- one traitor and one elitist brat.
Ion Fortuna first appears as-- well, as the brat. A girly brat. He's loud, obnoxious, demeaning towards humans (who he refers to as Terrans), and very assured of his own species' superiority. After being spoiled for so long due to his position as a noble of the empire, he doesn't really give much thought to how his actions affect other people, and he expects people to just listen to him without question. After being jesusmacked in the face he starts to mature a little, and Ion begins to display some of his better personality traits: his honor, loyalty and strength of character standing out the most among these. While on the outside can still come across as a selfish spoiled brat sometimes, deep down, Ion is really a very nice boy ... as long as you don't call him girly ... or cute.
Sample Post:
Honestly. You call this a camp, Director? It looks more like somebody just dropped wood on the ground and called it cabins. I don't believe anyone could possibly come here voluntarily! Of course, that would explain why you've stooped to such low methods to bring more people in. Although, honestly, what have you been doing to the Terrans you have here? They shouldn't be oozing like that, and some of them are even missing limbs! At the very least, if you're going to kidnap them, take proper care of them afterward! The state they're in is absolutely disgraceful! Have you even been feeding them correctly? Citizens of Campfuckyoudie! The tyranny of the Director has clearly affected you greatly! You no longer need to fear, however. I will find the Director and make her free y-Would you stop dripping all over me!? I'm trying to help you people, what kind of way is that to treat your rescuer!? It's disgusting!
Urgh. You! You there, with the missing arm ... no, not you, you're only missing half an arm. No, that wasn't an invitation to start pulling the rest of it off, stop that immediately! I want-- never mind, you can both come with me. Now, take me to the Director! I need to correct the mistake she's made in bringing me here against my will! You do know the way, do you not? I'll trust that your open-mouthed drooling is agreement- no, not on me, we already discussed that! Excellent. I was beginning to wonder if anyone in this place even knew where to find their captor!
Now, let us focus on the matter at hand and go to the Director. I'm sure that when she realizes the gravity of this misunderstanding, she will amend it as soon as possib-- why are you laughing!? Stop that! This is no laughing matter. You're both aware of the consequences if I am kept here against my will, correct!? I am a noble of the Empire! Detaining me against my will is incredibly unwise, surely even this foolish Director knows something like that! Hah, I see you're finally beginning to understand your position here. It was about time! Now hurry up, I don't have all day- no, your legs falling off aren't any excuse for dawdling, I've seen some of you move at a perfectly acceptable pace even with your limbs missing!
What were you thinking anyway, to let things become like this! Even the animals here are unnatural- that ape is definitely the wrong colour! And don't think I missed that tree leering at me before! Either your Director's idea of healthy wildlife leaves a lot to be desired, or her motives are even worse than I'd first suspected! And even your musical choices are distasteful, especially coming from a ... a crustacean of some sort. 'Kiss the girl', indeed. What an inane song. It is a good thing for all of you that I arrived here before it could get any worse, not that this place could get much worse than it already is!
So, which way is this Director of yours? The sign says "THIS WAY TO CERTAIN DOOM," don't point me down there. I'm not stupid enough to fall for that! No, I'm going down the other path- stop protesting! I know enough about this to know not to follow signs that say CERTAIN DOOM right on them! Honestly, I think I've begun to realize why you keep shouting 'braaains', it's because you don't have any of your own! We're going down this way, whether you like it or not, and we'll find the Director with a minimum of incidAAAUGH
... A pit trap, is it? How very ... undignified. Hey, don't you give me that look! This is your own fault for providing such faulty directions, you know.
Poll Vote!
Character: Anastasia Romanov
Series: Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Character Age: 14
Canon: Set in the midst of World War I, Shadow Hearts: Covenant is an intriguing story about Dark Magic and power struggles, where Yuri Hyuga, an unusual and rather rude hero, is forced to travel across Europe in hopes to break a curse. As the game goes on, he finds out that Sapientes Gladios, the organization that the man who cursed him belongs to, has much more influence than he ever thought, and their leader is none other than Rasputin. As the group reaches Russia in an attempt to stop him, they stumble upon Anastasia Romanov: the fourth daughter of the Tsar Nicholas II and the only one in her family to be suspicious of Rasputin.
Extremely curious and quite brave, Anastasia is inquisitive and stubborn, and if she gets something on her mind it's difficult to make her give up. Overall, she does whatever she wants, no matter what it is or no matter how many people tell her not to. She's strong-willed, perhaps too demanding at times, and although she's but a young girl, she's ready to fight to protect her family-- and get a little exciting adventure at the same time. Of course, she has moments of weaknesses and fears, but is determined enough to try and bring change instead of just moping around. Romantic and daydreaming, she believes that loves comes in "unexpected, different forms" and is currently crushing on Kurando, one of the other party members, so much that she'd even wash his underwear.
Sample Post:
What in the world is this place? It's stinking and weird, but it's oddly exciting! I wonder what kind of things are around here? Let's take a look at the guide, the name says-- wait, Camp Fuck You Die? With a name like this, it doesn't really sound like a place a princess should be in. Well, no matter! I'm on an adventure after all; it is my duty to explore! You never know, maybe I'll find something that will help my country greatly! Let's see... oh, it says there are many different interesting creatures to meet; I guess I should take a few shots and make a new photo album for mommy and daddy. Alexei would love to see all sorts of weird things, too!
I wonder if they're dangerous? I'm sure I can fight them just fine, but just in case, maybe I can pretend to be a defenseless maiden and my prince will come to save me? Heehee, he would bravely defeat all the monsters, then he would hold me and tell me he was oh so worried, and that the thought of living a life without me was killing him! Then we'd get married and live together happily ever after. Waah, I can't believe I said it out loud, it's so embarrassing∼
But enough with daydreaming; it's time to go! The guide says one of the most characteristic creatures around here lives by the lake and it's not recommended to go close to it-- I wonder why? Well, it's fine. I'll just take a photo of it and then get away. Where is this lake anyway? Wow, this map is so confusing; I can't get where it is at all! Someone should tell these people to change it already. Wah, whatever, it can't be too far anyway, right?
There it is, I knew I could find it! A princess always knows her way around after all. So, where's this creature? Well? I'm waiting! I have many other things to look at, I can't stay here all day. Oh, wait, so there you are! What's that supposed to be? Uuuh, damn it, I can't really see it all! Is it really just weird... tentacles? I guess that'll still be enough to show back at home. Now, say "cheese"!
Wait, what..? I feel like I just got some kind of new power, but.. what is it? And was it a voice I just heard..? Something like "Acquired Skill: Tentacle Rape". Wait, there's something written on the back of the photo, let's check what it says... "Tentacle Rape: type Darkness. Use on the person you love for guaranteed results". Guaranteed results? Heheh, maybe I should try it out on Kurando! I'm sure he'll be so impressed, he'll fall in love with me right away!
Poll Vote!