(no subject)
uho ii fourth round da
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Gray Fullbuster
Series: Fairy Tail
Character Age: 18
Canon: Fairy Tail is a series home to some of the most amazing magic that can be found. With everything from the basic elements to summoning the physical form of constellations to magic based on pixels and polygons, there is nothing dull about the skill sets of this world. And even better, these amazing powers are often gathered under one roof in the form of mage's guilds! The most famous and most troublesome of these guilds is Fairy Tail. And by troublesome I mean they have a habit of destroying a building or two (or seven) on most missions. Among the top troublemakers in this band of hooligans is Gray Fullbuster, an accidental nudist. No, really!! It's a terribly unfortunate habit leftover from his days training to withstand well below freezing temperatures. His real perversions are much more typical of a boy his age, like offering to cool a female friend's butt with his magic or fantasizing about catching her in the bath.
When he's not committing public indecency, Gray is a valuable member of his guild. His magic, ice alchemy, allows him to make anything, and I mean anything out of ice. Even a fully functional bazooka is well within his capabilities. He's one of the more intelligent members of the group, often among the first to notice when things aren't quite right and the first to get to the bottom of it; he hates when things aren't laid out clearly. He's also sensible! When his teammates are rushing off on their own, he's the one wondering why they can't just stick together to handle the task at hand. That said, he does have complete faith and trust in the abilities and loyalty of his companions, it's just that he's as stubbornly loyal as each of them. There's not a thing he wouldn't do for his comrades. Unless, of course, it's his eternal rival, NATSU!11! That bastard can handle things on his own (as long as he doesn't die.)
Sample Post:
Argh, what the hell is wrong with this place?! I was supposed to be here on a simple demon vanquishing job, but it's only been getting more and more complicated the longer I'm here! I shoulda known things wouldn't go well when the employer wouldn't show his face. Something like that's never a good sign, but this is such a backwater place... I figured he was just shy around outsiders. Who'd have thought he'd turn out to be a zombie?! Don't get me wrong, I got nothing against working for non-humans, but none of them have ever tried to pay me in brains before. And they were the brains of other zombies! There's a lot of weird things I've seen on jobs, but a bunch of guys taking their own brains out-- Ugh, I thought of it again... I'm gonna have nightmares for years.
You wouldn't believe how long it took to convince them I wasn't gonna make 'em pay. Even longer to make them put the brains back in! I'm pretty sure I saw a few of them eating... But they were really thrilled they got to keep them. The one that hired me even said they'd promise to not try to eat me before I left. I thought that was a given when I was hired, but when a zombie tells you he won't try to eat you, you don't complain about anything.
It's too bad the promise didn't last long. I'm not sure why, but after that one of the girls I think it was a girl started yelling about something. I think... It's difficult to be sure when all of them yell "braaaaaiiiins" all the time. But that's when they started trying to bite, so it had to have something to do with that. I was lucky to get outta there alive, even with my magic! And then, after I lost them, I realized I'd lost my pants too! I musta taken them off without thinking again... Now that I think of it, that's probably what that girl was yelling about. She musta been covering her eyes when I thought she was just trying to hold them in.
I was sure things would get easier after that, but it only got more complicated! When I was passing the lake on my way out, that lake demon was back! I know I put that damn squid on ice, so there must have been a second-- What do you mean "It saves"? I've heard the stories! That monster wouldn't save anyone unless it wanted sloppy seconds! It even took my underwear! Having to fight naked like that...I guess I'm used to it, but it's more distracting than usual when your opponent is so grabby! I still beat it, of course. Shitty squid didn't stand a chance against my ice alchemy.
Why am I hiding if I beat it? Well, I still don't have any clothes... You might not mind it, but if those zombies catch me like this it'll only make more problems. Hey, I know! Lemme have your gorilla suit! If I have that-- What are you doing?
... Y-You're the same as the lake demon!!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Lucy
Series: Fairy Tail
Character Age: 17
Canon: In a fantastic world full of the latest and hottest robe and wizard hat combo sets (available in 26 styles), magic is used for anything from adding color to your wardrobe to speeding up your reading, and the hottest mages get spreads and interviews in weekly magazines. A young upcoming mage, Lucy - perky, optimistic, and opportunistic ♥ - leaps at the chance to join her mage guild of choice: Fairy Tail, famous for being a reckless and outrageous guild that destroys villains and all surrounding public property with them. Their guild master announces their creed: Pour all your soul into whatever you do, do whatever you think is right, and break all the goddamn buildings you have to in the process! And Lucy proudly follows this creed - well, except she'd like the buildings to remain standing so she can get paid. Please! For once!!
So begins Fairy Tail's adventures of exposing Lucy to random absurd craziness, spazzing her out and making her suffer. Self-sufficient and goal-oriented, she's usually sensible and often the first to want to go home when a mission is insane... unless there's something special in it for her, and then she never had any doubts! ♥ She's a Stellar Spirit Mage who calls on the constellations to aid her in battle, which means her magic relies on characters that would sometimes rather strip her or drown her. She's not afraid to flirt or flaunt her sex appeal, but it just doesn't seem to cut it when she wants it to. She's struggling to pay the bills and gain some fame, and goes through a lot of sometimes-perverted trouble (and outfits) on a regular basis. But don't get Lucy wrong! She's never been happier. She's a confident rookie mage, takes huge pride in her guild, and she'll lay it all on the line for any one of her friends. Oh, and she's an avid lover of books and reading, likes long walks on the beach, and if you could get her an interview with Weekly Sorcerer, she'd ~love~ to get to know you! ♥
Sample Post:
Take heart, Lucy! This is a rare chance to be on a mission by yourself and not have to pay any collateral damage! There's still a chance this mission's not just a hoax. I just have to be friendly to these slimeballs for a little while longer, maybe get a chance to go through their library because perverted hick town or not, they could have some really rare books here! claim my winning prize money for their stupid contest, and then use the chance to spring everyone free! I can bathe in the reward money to make myself feel better! And even if this is the most blatantly perverted outfit I've ever worn, i-it's not like I look bad! I can work a tentacle skirt like anything else! M-maybe it's completely stifling, but it's not like it's hard to move around in. . . it just shouldn't move around by itself!!
Nooo, I'm at my limit, I wanna go home. I wonder where the exit is? . . . I'm so lost, won't someone tell me the exit?. . . Aaaahn, it's so hot and I'm getting all sticky, won't someone big~ and strong~ come tell me where the exit is?~
--AAAH! NOT YOU!! Why is my sultry cry only getting unshaven zombies and perverts in crusty gorilla suits to come running?! Wait, why are there zombies?! Why are the gorillas purple?! You, you're as nonsensical as your surroundings, so you have to be the natives that wrote the mission description! Well, alive or undead, you're all the enemies of decent taste!
The jig is up! I'm Lucy, a mage of Fairy Tail, and I came here answering your call for entries for a beautiful mascot girl to wear your Marcy-tan costume! I knew it was too good to be true that a magical talent agency would finally discover me and skyrocket me to fame - how dare you manipulate the dreams of aspiring young women!
But it's not just that. I know what you're doing, Camp Fuck You Die! Right next to your call for talent on our bulletin board, there was a call for help at the same location! Did you think I wouldn't notice? As if it wasn't bad enough that you're luring young up-and-coming beauties into the perverted mouth of danger with your promises of fame and fortune, you're really running a magical concentration camp, aren't you? --Not that kind of concentration, don't suddenly use each other for zombie desks and study for an exam!! You can't pull the gorilla fur over my eyes! As a mage of Fairy Tail, I'm here to punish you!
No, I will not tentacle you first!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Finland (Tino Väinämöinen)
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: 20 (appearance)
Canon: Ah, Hetalia. Where else can you learn about historical events with the help of overly-stereotypical anthropomorphic versions of the countries themselves? While Hetalia is definitely a comedy at heart, it’s also possible to learn a thing or two about the world while reading. It started out covering World War 2, but since then it has branched out to cover all sorts of historical events. Since the series started covering more information, more countries have been introduced. One of these countries is one-half of Hetalia’s official Scandinavian couple, Finland.
Finland is ‘the country where Santa lives,’ and he certainly has some of the innocence and childishness that is associated with Christmas. He is honest almost to a fault, and he will say what is on his mind at any given time. When he realizes that he’s offended someone he’ll try to say something nice to make up for it, but this is usually unsuccessful as he panics and says weird things. While Finland might not have as big of a role in Hetalia, he still works hard and does his best to keep his independence despite being surrounded by ore menacing nations. Typically he is seen around his ‘husband’ Sweden and their ‘child’ Sealand. Finland likes being around other people, so this arrangement makes him happy.
Sample Post: It’s that time of year again already, isn’t it? Time flies so fast! And I’m not prepared for this year, either. I still need to get presents for everyone… Oh, but before I can do that, I have to deliver these presents! But it’s kind of strange, since it’s a week early and Santa is the one who always delivers them. I know this camp is in America, but that doesn’t mean Santa should be afraid of it. Oh well, I can’t refuse a request from my kinsmen, and I want to stay on the ‘nice’ list. He was nice enough to lend me this suit, too, so I even look the part!
Well, let’s just go ahead with the presents. It’s alright to open them when I hand them out, too. Even though it’s a week early, Santa said it was okay. Let’s see what I have here…Okay, this bag here is for the Director. Is the Director here? … Ah, I see. But if you just answer me over the loudspeaker, how can you open your present? …Well I suppose I could open it for you and tell you what it is, if that’s what you really want. Just give me a moment to open it for you, and- Ah! It’s a bag of marbles! I’ll set them here on this table, so you can come get them later.
Next we have this box, and it’s for Marcy. Where is Mar- GYAAAAAH! W-what is that thing?! Is that a tentacle?! What does it- Oh! It just took the present. I guess that tentacle belongs to Marcy, then. Go ahead and open it, so we can see what you got. …An XXX? But that’s a really weird gift to get for Christmas... I don’t understand why Santa would give something like that- I mean, I’m sure it’s a good present! If it’s something you like, then I guess it’s okay! Please don’t wave that tentacle threateningly at me! …Or lovingly…eew.
…L-let’s move on to the next present, okay? This box is for a Mr. Grawrgh. Huh, another strange name. Oh, and you must be Mr. Grawrgh. Here you go, one gift from Santa! Ah, and it’s a sweater. But it would be a shame to put it on right now, wouldn’t it? You’re really dirty, and it would just get the sweater dirty- Aaaah! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to insult- I-It’s not so bad, really! And you can just wash the sweater later if you want!
And the rest of you, please be patient! I know I’m dressed like Santa, but I’m not as magical as he is. Now, I’ve handed out presents to Mr. Grawrgh, Marcy, and the Director, and they all received a sweater, an XXX, and some-
They’re not on the table anymore…
Everyone, quick! The Director has lost her marbles!
Poll Vote!
Character: Near
Series: Death Note
CharacterAge: 18
Canon: (Warning! Contains mild spoilers for Death Note)
What would you do if you could kill anyone just by writing down their name in a special notebook? If you were Yagami Light you would use this otherworldly power to pick off criminals in order to become the god of a new perfect world. But it's never that easy. People everywhere take notice of these mysterious deaths and it doesn't take long for L, the world's greatest detective, to challenge Light's power. The two end up in a deadly game of subterfuge and tricks, though sadly, in the end Light proves too much for L. The challenge of stopping the mysterious killings then falls to Near and Mello, orphans trained to take over in L's place.
Near is a quirky genius; childish and yet endlessly logical and analytical. Growing up an orphan preparing to be the world's best detective doesn't leave a lot of time for social development. It does, however, allow him to develop a rivalry with Mello, the second smartest child in the orphanage (Near being the smartest, of course). Near never seems interested in this rivalry, or anything else beyond whatever puzzle he is trying to solve. But just because he doesn't care about other people doesn't mean he isn't aware of them. He has a definite superiority complex, and isn't afraid to insult people to show it. Near does his best thinking while playing with toys and games all while wearing pajamas, despite his age. He has a team of three loyal former CIA agents at his beck and call who help make up for his otherwise debilitating social deficiencies.
This Near is taken from the end of the Kira case, but before any other time skips.
Sample Post:
There was a 4% chance when we left New York this morning that I was being set up. When we encountered 'difficulties' with our guidance system and had to land in Louisiana to get it fixed it was still below a 10% chance that the intentions of my team were dubious. But it is all too clear now that I am here that this was planned from the start. I am fairly impressed with their plan, despite its simplicity. Who knew my team had it in them to even try and trick me? I wasn't all that interested in attending a seminar on improving social skills, but I was willing to give it further consideration. Especially when they made it clear they would request a transfer if I didn't. After the incident last week it wasn't surprising. It had not occurred to me that they would react so badly to find out I had cameras set up in each of their residences so I could keep tabs on them at all times. I still maintain it was my business. I need to be aware of what my agents are up to even when they're not at work; you never know when such information will be useful. It only makes me "a voyeur" when I enjoy watching. And there was nothing enjoyable about what happened with the goat.
Despite the detour, I find it highly unlikely that the intent of this trip was false. Last week wasn't the first time I have heard my team comment on my unusual social habits. I suppose since the reason I'm here is to help me improve my interpersonal skills I could actually try. That is the fastest way I can end this and get back to someplace a little less dank and moist. I can at least pretend to get along with the other campers until such time as I can think of a better way out. At the moment, however, I might settle for some appropriate shoes. I was obviously not prepared for a swamp eventuality when I left this morning. Perhaps one of the less disgusting of the natives can help me.
Excuse me! Yes, you. Tell me where I can find some shoes.
Since there are no buildings above us at the moment for you to point at I can only assume your gesture is telling me to "go fuck myself" as I have so often heard it said. Your suggestion is decidedly unhelpful toward getting me shoes. But you might not be utterly useless. Perhaps you can at least tell me where I will find someone who is in charge of this camp. Or maybe someone on a closer intellectual level to me?
…
Are you finished? While I am minorly impressed with your handle of the more colorful vernacular, I have been called worse. You lack Mello's particular talent for phrasing a string of curses, but I still understand your intent. If you're going to continue to be so unhelpful, leave. No, I think YOU should be the one to get raped by tentacles. Wait, tentacles? The probability of being spontaneously violated by tentacles is close to zero, especially this far from the ocean. Although you do seem to have gone to a lot of trouble to make me believe otherwise. How many people does it take to operate those 'tentacles'?
…I see. I am 100% sure I will not like where this is going.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Master Cyclonis
Series: Storm Hawks
Age: 14
Canon: Welcome to the world of Atmos, a series of island-countries (better known as 'Terras') high in the sky, populated by all sorts of strange, deranged and wonderful beings, and patrolled by the Sky Knights, representing the forces of good and justice. Our Hero is a boy named Aerrow, the leader of the Storm Hawks - an ace team of inspiring young Sky Knights who think the sky is never the limit. Their wacky antics and adventures are part of the epic struggle between the Sky Knights, aka all that is just and right in the world (well, mostly) and the Cyclonians, the resident bad guys.
And if you're going to have bad guys, you need a diabolical, megalomaniac, narcissistic evil genius of a villain. It's just good practice. Meet Master Cyclonis, the 14-year-old big bad boss of the Cyclonians, who despite the name is actually a girl. Not that this makes her any less eeeeeeeeevil. Paranoid, prone to speaking with emphasis, and just a touch sociopathic, she rules the forces of darkness with an iron fist - and her many doomsday devices, powered by the crystals that Atmos uses as a fuel source. She hates all Sky Knights, but particularly Aerrow and his Storm Hawks. Why? Because she's eeeeeeevil. She's not very good at all with forgiveness, justice or kindness, although she appears to have an itty bitty teensy weensy soft spot for her second-in-command, the Dark Ace. But mostly, if it exists, Master Cyclonis wants to conquer it. What else is a villain supposed to do?
Sample Post:
Well, well, well. I see the Storm Hawks have found my brand new Terra. Just what I've been waiting for. Those pesky Sky Knights won't be spreading any more 'justice' after my new creations get through with them. It's so simple, really. Terra See Food was almost made for me. It won't be long before they come bumbling around here, and then...well. No more irritating Storm Hawks! The natives are perhaps a little too eager to lend a hand, but everything is finally ready.
There's just been so much to work with. Maybe you've met my latest recruit? She used to be called Marcy. I prefer 'Marcy, Scourge of Atmos'. It has a better ring to it, don't you think? I've been training her. It's amazing how responsive she is to a little...kindness. And, of course, my crystals. Don't go too close - she's still learning how to use some of her new...modifications. With all those limbs, she's the natural choice to take over the kitchen and begin cooking up some of my new recipes. In the hands of a master, crystals can do so much.
Speaking of crystals, this Terra's production is going to skyrocket as soon as my Cyclonians arrive. It's a natural source of Ultra Shark Torque crystals - the only one in Atmos. As soon as that barrier comes down, all the crystal energy can be diverted straight into my new machines, and the shark production can begin. After all, with Marcy out of the lake and into the campground, something needs to take her place. Something dangerous. Don't tell me - sharks with laser beams on their heads are the obvious choice. But that's the brilliance of it. Sometimes you have to use the obvious and do something they've overlooked to outwit them. Not that that's difficult. After all, we're talking about Sky Knights here.
Then there's the mistletoe, of course - but doesn't everyone think of the mistletoe? Too easy. No, I have better plans. In just a few days, a jolly old man is due to touch down, bringing presents for all the good boys and girls. A sleigh full of them. But first, he has to get past me. And I have a hunch that once he arrives, the Storm Hawks will come rushing up. That's when my modified toucans will rip apart their Santa suit disguise, charge their lasers, and -
Hmmm? Yes, Braaghlh, there is a Santa Claus. And so much more if they somehow manage to escape. After all, I always have an Ace up my sleeve.
Poll Vote!
Name: Piper (of the Storm Hawks)
Age: 14
Series: Storm Hawks
Canon: Atmos: where the sky is never a limit! A planet composed of floating island kingdoms, called Terras, the Atmosians need to be defended against the nefarious plans of fourteen-year-old aspiring dictator, Master Cyclonis and her unending stream of henchpeople, the Cyclonians. Despite the fairly large number of Sky Knights (the good guys), only one squadron is competent enough to take on the Cyclonians, and that's the Storm Hawks! A group whom everyone dismissed, the Storm Hawks is entirely composed of skilled, sharp teenagers.
One of these teenagers is Piper. The only girl in the group, Piper knows a lot about a lot and she's not afraid to tell you so, often boring her teammates with hours-long strategy sessions or grad-level discourses on crystals. The resident navigation and tactics specialist, Piper has been known to spend upwards of six hours on a plan, which she expects to be executed perfectly. She is also a crystal expert, managing to implement, identify, and even mix the varying power sources without the aid of books. In addition to all of her intellectual pursuits, Piper is also a master of a particular martial art called sky fu. But don't let her proficiency fool you. Bossy and easily embarrassed by her teammates, Piper can be a self-assured perfectionist one moment and a distracted fangirl the next, whether it's over crystals or famous Sky Knights. She may try to act like an adult, but she really is just a teenager at heart.
Sample Post:
Squadron Log:
Day one of my reconnaissance mission to Terra Sea Fud is underway without a hitch... yet. This "camp" as they like to call it seems to be the newest training ground for Master Cyclonis' henchpeople. So far, there's really not a whole lot to this terra. Some gross, squelchy stuff underfoot -- ugh! -- and a lot of ominous looking trees. No vast bodies of water, aside from what I can determine to be a very... vibrant lake, so the name is a complete mystery to me. I haven't really seen any real life except for some very suspicious looking birds and... did those ducklings just breathe fire at me? Ooh, I'd feel better if the whole team were here... Or if I'd had more time with the maps and schematics beforehand. It's really hard to lay out the perfect plan when there's nothing to plan from! But I guess that's the point of reconnaissance! I just wish those birds would stop talking to me. It's really distracting.
Wait a minute... They're talking to me! Okay, Piper, probably not the weirdest thing you've seen but... still really high up there! Oooh, I bet they are security aviary droids, but even if they see me, I'm undercover! Not bad for a last minute disguise, either, if I do say so myself! Never underestimate the power of swamp gunk and leaves. But anyway, I wonder how the little guys run? Crystals would be the obvious answer, but the droids are so life-like. I guess they could be organic but I've really never seen anything like it before. Well, uncharted terras can have uncharted things! Oooh, this is so interesting and perfect for my research! The boys will definitely want to hear this when I get back. I'll make a slide show and booklets and everything! Ha!
Okay, girl. Stop planning your presentation before you have all your information! If I can just get close enough to the enclosure to get some good notes, I can return to the ship with no problems! Then we can swoop down here as a team and free these henchpeople-to-be from the evil clutches... Though the way these buildings look, it wouldn't be hard. They're hardly staying together as it is! I could blow on them and they'd tumble down. What are the Cyclonians playing at? Well, whatever it is, as soon as I get this info back, they'll definitely feel like they've lost the game!
Poll Vote!
Character: Trucy Wright
Series: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
Character Age: 15
Canon: Apollo Justice is the fourth game in the Ace Attorney series. Basically it takes old elements of what made the original games great: a defense attorney with silly hair, a fancy pants prosecutor (replace the cravat with bling), murder trials, ridiculously uncooperative witnesses, and of course, a toppy female sidekick.
Trucy Wright is Apollo's token sidekick and daughter of former lawyer protagonist turned hobo, Phoenix Wright. Trucy is a magician who is always willing to show off a new trick. She's cheerful, talkative and never afraid to take initiative. Trucy might have no lawyer training, but she's still helpful to Apollo. She can be surprisingly perceptive and intelligent, plus her panties have helped him find evidence more than once! Oh, and yes, she's pretty fond of cheerfully saying the word 'panties' (and other seemingly inappropriate things) no matter how uncomfortable that makes Apollo. Panties! :D
Like in the Ace Attorney games, keywords are highlighted in orange.
Sample Post:
Wow, what a lively crowd! Is it customary for the audience to ask for marriage this early into the performance? I haven't even gotten around to showing my panties yet! My Magic Panties trick is the highlight of my act. It's usually the reason people come watch in first place. Why, if I had a dollar every time someone asked me to show my panties, Daddy and I would be rich by now. Of course, I would never quit magic if that ever happened. But a girl can dream about money!
Anyway hi! I'm Trucy Wright, magician extraordinaire, and it's great to be here! I can see you're all magic fans. I couldn't ask for any more handcuffs and ropes props. Don't worry, I'm not going to pull a Houdini just yet. You booked me here for the entire night, so I'm going to make it worth your money. So get ready for a magical, unforgettable evening! Let's start the show!
You're in for a real treat, folks. I'm going to perform a classic but never before seen Trucy Wright trick, the 'Zig Zag'! The reason I've never done it on stage is because daddy never lets me try to cut him up for practice. Are there any brave volunteers who would like to step into this box? This trick's pretty easy. Once inside the box, I'll just cut you into pieces and put you back together again! Of course there's more to the trick than that, but a magician never reveals her secrets. Come on, there's no need to be shy. I'm here because of you all, even those of you in the ceiling. Wow, this gives new meaning to 'nose bleed section.' There's more to being audience than just watching the show! You've got to apply yourself!
If that's how it's going to be, I'm just going to have to pick someone. I'm going to choose... you! You're perfect. In fact, you already look like someone's stuck a knife in you several times. That's some impressive make up. Okay everyone, let's give our guest Mr. Zombie a hand!
Zombie... zombie... that sounds really familiar... Oh, I know! Maybe you're a cousin twice removed from rock star, Rob Zombie! If that's true, it would mean performing is in your blood! Have you ever considered a career in professional audiencing? You could be my assistant. Together we can make a real heart pounding performance and your heart doesn't even have to beat! Brains? Oh, you don't really have to worry about that. It's like they say, "you don't need brains to make it in show business!" But you're still going to need your head, so keep it on. I haven't even started sawing yet! What a pro.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Gray Fullbuster
Series: Fairy Tail
Character Age: 18
Canon: Fairy Tail is a series home to some of the most amazing magic that can be found. With everything from the basic elements to summoning the physical form of constellations to magic based on pixels and polygons, there is nothing dull about the skill sets of this world. And even better, these amazing powers are often gathered under one roof in the form of mage's guilds! The most famous and most troublesome of these guilds is Fairy Tail. And by troublesome I mean they have a habit of destroying a building or two (or seven) on most missions. Among the top troublemakers in this band of hooligans is Gray Fullbuster, an accidental nudist. No, really!! It's a terribly unfortunate habit leftover from his days training to withstand well below freezing temperatures. His real perversions are much more typical of a boy his age, like offering to cool a female friend's butt with his magic or fantasizing about catching her in the bath.
When he's not committing public indecency, Gray is a valuable member of his guild. His magic, ice alchemy, allows him to make anything, and I mean anything out of ice. Even a fully functional bazooka is well within his capabilities. He's one of the more intelligent members of the group, often among the first to notice when things aren't quite right and the first to get to the bottom of it; he hates when things aren't laid out clearly. He's also sensible! When his teammates are rushing off on their own, he's the one wondering why they can't just stick together to handle the task at hand. That said, he does have complete faith and trust in the abilities and loyalty of his companions, it's just that he's as stubbornly loyal as each of them. There's not a thing he wouldn't do for his comrades. Unless, of course, it's his eternal rival, NATSU!11! That bastard can handle things on his own (as long as he doesn't die.)
Sample Post:
Argh, what the hell is wrong with this place?! I was supposed to be here on a simple demon vanquishing job, but it's only been getting more and more complicated the longer I'm here! I shoulda known things wouldn't go well when the employer wouldn't show his face. Something like that's never a good sign, but this is such a backwater place... I figured he was just shy around outsiders. Who'd have thought he'd turn out to be a zombie?! Don't get me wrong, I got nothing against working for non-humans, but none of them have ever tried to pay me in brains before. And they were the brains of other zombies! There's a lot of weird things I've seen on jobs, but a bunch of guys taking their own brains out-- Ugh, I thought of it again... I'm gonna have nightmares for years.
You wouldn't believe how long it took to convince them I wasn't gonna make 'em pay. Even longer to make them put the brains back in! I'm pretty sure I saw a few of them eating... But they were really thrilled they got to keep them. The one that hired me even said they'd promise to not try to eat me before I left. I thought that was a given when I was hired, but when a zombie tells you he won't try to eat you, you don't complain about anything.
It's too bad the promise didn't last long. I'm not sure why, but after that one of the girls I think it was a girl started yelling about something. I think... It's difficult to be sure when all of them yell "braaaaaiiiins" all the time. But that's when they started trying to bite, so it had to have something to do with that. I was lucky to get outta there alive, even with my magic! And then, after I lost them, I realized I'd lost my pants too! I musta taken them off without thinking again... Now that I think of it, that's probably what that girl was yelling about. She musta been covering her eyes when I thought she was just trying to hold them in.
I was sure things would get easier after that, but it only got more complicated! When I was passing the lake on my way out, that lake demon was back! I know I put that damn squid on ice, so there must have been a second-- What do you mean "It saves"? I've heard the stories! That monster wouldn't save anyone unless it wanted sloppy seconds! It even took my underwear! Having to fight naked like that...I guess I'm used to it, but it's more distracting than usual when your opponent is so grabby! I still beat it, of course. Shitty squid didn't stand a chance against my ice alchemy.
Why am I hiding if I beat it? Well, I still don't have any clothes... You might not mind it, but if those zombies catch me like this it'll only make more problems. Hey, I know! Lemme have your gorilla suit! If I have that-- What are you doing?
... Y-You're the same as the lake demon!!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Lucy
Series: Fairy Tail
Character Age: 17
Canon: In a fantastic world full of the latest and hottest robe and wizard hat combo sets (available in 26 styles), magic is used for anything from adding color to your wardrobe to speeding up your reading, and the hottest mages get spreads and interviews in weekly magazines. A young upcoming mage, Lucy - perky, optimistic, and opportunistic ♥ - leaps at the chance to join her mage guild of choice: Fairy Tail, famous for being a reckless and outrageous guild that destroys villains and all surrounding public property with them. Their guild master announces their creed: Pour all your soul into whatever you do, do whatever you think is right, and break all the goddamn buildings you have to in the process! And Lucy proudly follows this creed - well, except she'd like the buildings to remain standing so she can get paid. Please! For once!!
So begins Fairy Tail's adventures of exposing Lucy to random absurd craziness, spazzing her out and making her suffer. Self-sufficient and goal-oriented, she's usually sensible and often the first to want to go home when a mission is insane... unless there's something special in it for her, and then she never had any doubts! ♥ She's a Stellar Spirit Mage who calls on the constellations to aid her in battle, which means her magic relies on characters that would sometimes rather strip her or drown her. She's not afraid to flirt or flaunt her sex appeal, but it just doesn't seem to cut it when she wants it to. She's struggling to pay the bills and gain some fame, and goes through a lot of sometimes-perverted trouble (and outfits) on a regular basis. But don't get Lucy wrong! She's never been happier. She's a confident rookie mage, takes huge pride in her guild, and she'll lay it all on the line for any one of her friends. Oh, and she's an avid lover of books and reading, likes long walks on the beach, and if you could get her an interview with Weekly Sorcerer, she'd ~love~ to get to know you! ♥
Sample Post:
Take heart, Lucy! This is a rare chance to be on a mission by yourself and not have to pay any collateral damage! There's still a chance this mission's not just a hoax. I just have to be friendly to these slimeballs for a little while longer, maybe get a chance to go through their library because perverted hick town or not, they could have some really rare books here! claim my winning prize money for their stupid contest, and then use the chance to spring everyone free! I can bathe in the reward money to make myself feel better! And even if this is the most blatantly perverted outfit I've ever worn, i-it's not like I look bad! I can work a tentacle skirt like anything else! M-maybe it's completely stifling, but it's not like it's hard to move around in. . . it just shouldn't move around by itself!!
Nooo, I'm at my limit, I wanna go home. I wonder where the exit is? . . . I'm so lost, won't someone tell me the exit?. . . Aaaahn, it's so hot and I'm getting all sticky, won't someone big~ and strong~ come tell me where the exit is?~
--AAAH! NOT YOU!! Why is my sultry cry only getting unshaven zombies and perverts in crusty gorilla suits to come running?! Wait, why are there zombies?! Why are the gorillas purple?! You, you're as nonsensical as your surroundings, so you have to be the natives that wrote the mission description! Well, alive or undead, you're all the enemies of decent taste!
The jig is up! I'm Lucy, a mage of Fairy Tail, and I came here answering your call for entries for a beautiful mascot girl to wear your Marcy-tan costume! I knew it was too good to be true that a magical talent agency would finally discover me and skyrocket me to fame - how dare you manipulate the dreams of aspiring young women!
But it's not just that. I know what you're doing, Camp Fuck You Die! Right next to your call for talent on our bulletin board, there was a call for help at the same location! Did you think I wouldn't notice? As if it wasn't bad enough that you're luring young up-and-coming beauties into the perverted mouth of danger with your promises of fame and fortune, you're really running a magical concentration camp, aren't you? --Not that kind of concentration, don't suddenly use each other for zombie desks and study for an exam!! You can't pull the gorilla fur over my eyes! As a mage of Fairy Tail, I'm here to punish you!
No, I will not tentacle you first!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Finland (Tino Väinämöinen)
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: 20 (appearance)
Canon: Ah, Hetalia. Where else can you learn about historical events with the help of overly-stereotypical anthropomorphic versions of the countries themselves? While Hetalia is definitely a comedy at heart, it’s also possible to learn a thing or two about the world while reading. It started out covering World War 2, but since then it has branched out to cover all sorts of historical events. Since the series started covering more information, more countries have been introduced. One of these countries is one-half of Hetalia’s official Scandinavian couple, Finland.
Finland is ‘the country where Santa lives,’ and he certainly has some of the innocence and childishness that is associated with Christmas. He is honest almost to a fault, and he will say what is on his mind at any given time. When he realizes that he’s offended someone he’ll try to say something nice to make up for it, but this is usually unsuccessful as he panics and says weird things. While Finland might not have as big of a role in Hetalia, he still works hard and does his best to keep his independence despite being surrounded by ore menacing nations. Typically he is seen around his ‘husband’ Sweden and their ‘child’ Sealand. Finland likes being around other people, so this arrangement makes him happy.
Sample Post: It’s that time of year again already, isn’t it? Time flies so fast! And I’m not prepared for this year, either. I still need to get presents for everyone… Oh, but before I can do that, I have to deliver these presents! But it’s kind of strange, since it’s a week early and Santa is the one who always delivers them. I know this camp is in America, but that doesn’t mean Santa should be afraid of it. Oh well, I can’t refuse a request from my kinsmen, and I want to stay on the ‘nice’ list. He was nice enough to lend me this suit, too, so I even look the part!
Well, let’s just go ahead with the presents. It’s alright to open them when I hand them out, too. Even though it’s a week early, Santa said it was okay. Let’s see what I have here…Okay, this bag here is for the Director. Is the Director here? … Ah, I see. But if you just answer me over the loudspeaker, how can you open your present? …Well I suppose I could open it for you and tell you what it is, if that’s what you really want. Just give me a moment to open it for you, and- Ah! It’s a bag of marbles! I’ll set them here on this table, so you can come get them later.
Next we have this box, and it’s for Marcy. Where is Mar- GYAAAAAH! W-what is that thing?! Is that a tentacle?! What does it- Oh! It just took the present. I guess that tentacle belongs to Marcy, then. Go ahead and open it, so we can see what you got. …An XXX? But that’s a really weird gift to get for Christmas... I don’t understand why Santa would give something like that- I mean, I’m sure it’s a good present! If it’s something you like, then I guess it’s okay! Please don’t wave that tentacle threateningly at me! …Or lovingly…eew.
…L-let’s move on to the next present, okay? This box is for a Mr. Grawrgh. Huh, another strange name. Oh, and you must be Mr. Grawrgh. Here you go, one gift from Santa! Ah, and it’s a sweater. But it would be a shame to put it on right now, wouldn’t it? You’re really dirty, and it would just get the sweater dirty- Aaaah! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to insult- I-It’s not so bad, really! And you can just wash the sweater later if you want!
And the rest of you, please be patient! I know I’m dressed like Santa, but I’m not as magical as he is. Now, I’ve handed out presents to Mr. Grawrgh, Marcy, and the Director, and they all received a sweater, an XXX, and some-
They’re not on the table anymore…
Everyone, quick! The Director has lost her marbles!
Poll Vote!
Character: Near
Series: Death Note
CharacterAge: 18
Canon: (Warning! Contains mild spoilers for Death Note)
What would you do if you could kill anyone just by writing down their name in a special notebook? If you were Yagami Light you would use this otherworldly power to pick off criminals in order to become the god of a new perfect world. But it's never that easy. People everywhere take notice of these mysterious deaths and it doesn't take long for L, the world's greatest detective, to challenge Light's power. The two end up in a deadly game of subterfuge and tricks, though sadly, in the end Light proves too much for L. The challenge of stopping the mysterious killings then falls to Near and Mello, orphans trained to take over in L's place.
Near is a quirky genius; childish and yet endlessly logical and analytical. Growing up an orphan preparing to be the world's best detective doesn't leave a lot of time for social development. It does, however, allow him to develop a rivalry with Mello, the second smartest child in the orphanage (Near being the smartest, of course). Near never seems interested in this rivalry, or anything else beyond whatever puzzle he is trying to solve. But just because he doesn't care about other people doesn't mean he isn't aware of them. He has a definite superiority complex, and isn't afraid to insult people to show it. Near does his best thinking while playing with toys and games all while wearing pajamas, despite his age. He has a team of three loyal former CIA agents at his beck and call who help make up for his otherwise debilitating social deficiencies.
This Near is taken from the end of the Kira case, but before any other time skips.
Sample Post:
There was a 4% chance when we left New York this morning that I was being set up. When we encountered 'difficulties' with our guidance system and had to land in Louisiana to get it fixed it was still below a 10% chance that the intentions of my team were dubious. But it is all too clear now that I am here that this was planned from the start. I am fairly impressed with their plan, despite its simplicity. Who knew my team had it in them to even try and trick me? I wasn't all that interested in attending a seminar on improving social skills, but I was willing to give it further consideration. Especially when they made it clear they would request a transfer if I didn't. After the incident last week it wasn't surprising. It had not occurred to me that they would react so badly to find out I had cameras set up in each of their residences so I could keep tabs on them at all times. I still maintain it was my business. I need to be aware of what my agents are up to even when they're not at work; you never know when such information will be useful. It only makes me "a voyeur" when I enjoy watching. And there was nothing enjoyable about what happened with the goat.
Despite the detour, I find it highly unlikely that the intent of this trip was false. Last week wasn't the first time I have heard my team comment on my unusual social habits. I suppose since the reason I'm here is to help me improve my interpersonal skills I could actually try. That is the fastest way I can end this and get back to someplace a little less dank and moist. I can at least pretend to get along with the other campers until such time as I can think of a better way out. At the moment, however, I might settle for some appropriate shoes. I was obviously not prepared for a swamp eventuality when I left this morning. Perhaps one of the less disgusting of the natives can help me.
Excuse me! Yes, you. Tell me where I can find some shoes.
Since there are no buildings above us at the moment for you to point at I can only assume your gesture is telling me to "go fuck myself" as I have so often heard it said. Your suggestion is decidedly unhelpful toward getting me shoes. But you might not be utterly useless. Perhaps you can at least tell me where I will find someone who is in charge of this camp. Or maybe someone on a closer intellectual level to me?
…
Are you finished? While I am minorly impressed with your handle of the more colorful vernacular, I have been called worse. You lack Mello's particular talent for phrasing a string of curses, but I still understand your intent. If you're going to continue to be so unhelpful, leave. No, I think YOU should be the one to get raped by tentacles. Wait, tentacles? The probability of being spontaneously violated by tentacles is close to zero, especially this far from the ocean. Although you do seem to have gone to a lot of trouble to make me believe otherwise. How many people does it take to operate those 'tentacles'?
…I see. I am 100% sure I will not like where this is going.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Master Cyclonis
Series: Storm Hawks
Age: 14
Canon: Welcome to the world of Atmos, a series of island-countries (better known as 'Terras') high in the sky, populated by all sorts of strange, deranged and wonderful beings, and patrolled by the Sky Knights, representing the forces of good and justice. Our Hero is a boy named Aerrow, the leader of the Storm Hawks - an ace team of inspiring young Sky Knights who think the sky is never the limit. Their wacky antics and adventures are part of the epic struggle between the Sky Knights, aka all that is just and right in the world (well, mostly) and the Cyclonians, the resident bad guys.
And if you're going to have bad guys, you need a diabolical, megalomaniac, narcissistic evil genius of a villain. It's just good practice. Meet Master Cyclonis, the 14-year-old big bad boss of the Cyclonians, who despite the name is actually a girl. Not that this makes her any less eeeeeeeeevil. Paranoid, prone to speaking with emphasis, and just a touch sociopathic, she rules the forces of darkness with an iron fist - and her many doomsday devices, powered by the crystals that Atmos uses as a fuel source. She hates all Sky Knights, but particularly Aerrow and his Storm Hawks. Why? Because she's eeeeeeevil. She's not very good at all with forgiveness, justice or kindness, although she appears to have an itty bitty teensy weensy soft spot for her second-in-command, the Dark Ace. But mostly, if it exists, Master Cyclonis wants to conquer it. What else is a villain supposed to do?
Sample Post:
Well, well, well. I see the Storm Hawks have found my brand new Terra. Just what I've been waiting for. Those pesky Sky Knights won't be spreading any more 'justice' after my new creations get through with them. It's so simple, really. Terra See Food was almost made for me. It won't be long before they come bumbling around here, and then...well. No more irritating Storm Hawks! The natives are perhaps a little too eager to lend a hand, but everything is finally ready.
There's just been so much to work with. Maybe you've met my latest recruit? She used to be called Marcy. I prefer 'Marcy, Scourge of Atmos'. It has a better ring to it, don't you think? I've been training her. It's amazing how responsive she is to a little...kindness. And, of course, my crystals. Don't go too close - she's still learning how to use some of her new...modifications. With all those limbs, she's the natural choice to take over the kitchen and begin cooking up some of my new recipes. In the hands of a master, crystals can do so much.
Speaking of crystals, this Terra's production is going to skyrocket as soon as my Cyclonians arrive. It's a natural source of Ultra Shark Torque crystals - the only one in Atmos. As soon as that barrier comes down, all the crystal energy can be diverted straight into my new machines, and the shark production can begin. After all, with Marcy out of the lake and into the campground, something needs to take her place. Something dangerous. Don't tell me - sharks with laser beams on their heads are the obvious choice. But that's the brilliance of it. Sometimes you have to use the obvious and do something they've overlooked to outwit them. Not that that's difficult. After all, we're talking about Sky Knights here.
Then there's the mistletoe, of course - but doesn't everyone think of the mistletoe? Too easy. No, I have better plans. In just a few days, a jolly old man is due to touch down, bringing presents for all the good boys and girls. A sleigh full of them. But first, he has to get past me. And I have a hunch that once he arrives, the Storm Hawks will come rushing up. That's when my modified toucans will rip apart their Santa suit disguise, charge their lasers, and -
Hmmm? Yes, Braaghlh, there is a Santa Claus. And so much more if they somehow manage to escape. After all, I always have an Ace up my sleeve.
Poll Vote!
Name: Piper (of the Storm Hawks)
Age: 14
Series: Storm Hawks
Canon: Atmos: where the sky is never a limit! A planet composed of floating island kingdoms, called Terras, the Atmosians need to be defended against the nefarious plans of fourteen-year-old aspiring dictator, Master Cyclonis and her unending stream of henchpeople, the Cyclonians. Despite the fairly large number of Sky Knights (the good guys), only one squadron is competent enough to take on the Cyclonians, and that's the Storm Hawks! A group whom everyone dismissed, the Storm Hawks is entirely composed of skilled, sharp teenagers.
One of these teenagers is Piper. The only girl in the group, Piper knows a lot about a lot and she's not afraid to tell you so, often boring her teammates with hours-long strategy sessions or grad-level discourses on crystals. The resident navigation and tactics specialist, Piper has been known to spend upwards of six hours on a plan, which she expects to be executed perfectly. She is also a crystal expert, managing to implement, identify, and even mix the varying power sources without the aid of books. In addition to all of her intellectual pursuits, Piper is also a master of a particular martial art called sky fu. But don't let her proficiency fool you. Bossy and easily embarrassed by her teammates, Piper can be a self-assured perfectionist one moment and a distracted fangirl the next, whether it's over crystals or famous Sky Knights. She may try to act like an adult, but she really is just a teenager at heart.
Sample Post:
Squadron Log:
Day one of my reconnaissance mission to Terra Sea Fud is underway without a hitch... yet. This "camp" as they like to call it seems to be the newest training ground for Master Cyclonis' henchpeople. So far, there's really not a whole lot to this terra. Some gross, squelchy stuff underfoot -- ugh! -- and a lot of ominous looking trees. No vast bodies of water, aside from what I can determine to be a very... vibrant lake, so the name is a complete mystery to me. I haven't really seen any real life except for some very suspicious looking birds and... did those ducklings just breathe fire at me? Ooh, I'd feel better if the whole team were here... Or if I'd had more time with the maps and schematics beforehand. It's really hard to lay out the perfect plan when there's nothing to plan from! But I guess that's the point of reconnaissance! I just wish those birds would stop talking to me. It's really distracting.
Wait a minute... They're talking to me! Okay, Piper, probably not the weirdest thing you've seen but... still really high up there! Oooh, I bet they are security aviary droids, but even if they see me, I'm undercover! Not bad for a last minute disguise, either, if I do say so myself! Never underestimate the power of swamp gunk and leaves. But anyway, I wonder how the little guys run? Crystals would be the obvious answer, but the droids are so life-like. I guess they could be organic but I've really never seen anything like it before. Well, uncharted terras can have uncharted things! Oooh, this is so interesting and perfect for my research! The boys will definitely want to hear this when I get back. I'll make a slide show and booklets and everything! Ha!
Okay, girl. Stop planning your presentation before you have all your information! If I can just get close enough to the enclosure to get some good notes, I can return to the ship with no problems! Then we can swoop down here as a team and free these henchpeople-to-be from the evil clutches... Though the way these buildings look, it wouldn't be hard. They're hardly staying together as it is! I could blow on them and they'd tumble down. What are the Cyclonians playing at? Well, whatever it is, as soon as I get this info back, they'll definitely feel like they've lost the game!
Poll Vote!
Character: Trucy Wright
Series: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
Character Age: 15
Canon: Apollo Justice is the fourth game in the Ace Attorney series. Basically it takes old elements of what made the original games great: a defense attorney with silly hair, a fancy pants prosecutor (replace the cravat with bling), murder trials, ridiculously uncooperative witnesses, and of course, a toppy female sidekick.
Trucy Wright is Apollo's token sidekick and daughter of former lawyer protagonist turned hobo, Phoenix Wright. Trucy is a magician who is always willing to show off a new trick. She's cheerful, talkative and never afraid to take initiative. Trucy might have no lawyer training, but she's still helpful to Apollo. She can be surprisingly perceptive and intelligent, plus her panties have helped him find evidence more than once! Oh, and yes, she's pretty fond of cheerfully saying the word 'panties' (and other seemingly inappropriate things) no matter how uncomfortable that makes Apollo. Panties! :D
Like in the Ace Attorney games, keywords are highlighted in orange.
Sample Post:
Wow, what a lively crowd! Is it customary for the audience to ask for marriage this early into the performance? I haven't even gotten around to showing my panties yet! My Magic Panties trick is the highlight of my act. It's usually the reason people come watch in first place. Why, if I had a dollar every time someone asked me to show my panties, Daddy and I would be rich by now. Of course, I would never quit magic if that ever happened. But a girl can dream about money!
Anyway hi! I'm Trucy Wright, magician extraordinaire, and it's great to be here! I can see you're all magic fans. I couldn't ask for any more handcuffs and ropes props. Don't worry, I'm not going to pull a Houdini just yet. You booked me here for the entire night, so I'm going to make it worth your money. So get ready for a magical, unforgettable evening! Let's start the show!
You're in for a real treat, folks. I'm going to perform a classic but never before seen Trucy Wright trick, the 'Zig Zag'! The reason I've never done it on stage is because daddy never lets me try to cut him up for practice. Are there any brave volunteers who would like to step into this box? This trick's pretty easy. Once inside the box, I'll just cut you into pieces and put you back together again! Of course there's more to the trick than that, but a magician never reveals her secrets. Come on, there's no need to be shy. I'm here because of you all, even those of you in the ceiling. Wow, this gives new meaning to 'nose bleed section.' There's more to being audience than just watching the show! You've got to apply yourself!
If that's how it's going to be, I'm just going to have to pick someone. I'm going to choose... you! You're perfect. In fact, you already look like someone's stuck a knife in you several times. That's some impressive make up. Okay everyone, let's give our guest Mr. Zombie a hand!
Zombie... zombie... that sounds really familiar... Oh, I know! Maybe you're a cousin twice removed from rock star, Rob Zombie! If that's true, it would mean performing is in your blood! Have you ever considered a career in professional audiencing? You could be my assistant. Together we can make a real heart pounding performance and your heart doesn't even have to beat! Brains? Oh, you don't really have to worry about that. It's like they say, "you don't need brains to make it in show business!" But you're still going to need your head, so keep it on. I haven't even started sawing yet! What a pro.
Poll Vote!