(no subject)
Next round, everybody keep voting ♥ The last round is STILL OPEN so vote on that first, I'm just putting the next up quicker so I can close before my flight tomorrow~ I need to pack
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Merlin
Series: BBC's Merlin (2008)
Character Age: late teens, probably?
Canon: The 2008 BBC version of Merlin could best be described as a group of drunk history students taking out all the boring parts of the Arthurian legend, making everyone the same age and then watching what happens. It's not at all accurate to the legend, but it is a great deal of fun. Born with an instinctive talent for magic during a time when anyone caught using it could - and would - be executed without fair trial, to say Merlin had a little trouble fitting in would be an understatement. His mother, fearing for what might come of him, sent him to Camelot in order to be guided by the Court Physician, Gaius, in both sorcery and how best to keep out of trouble. Unfortunately, the last bit proves to be slightly harder than it would seem - Merlin soon learns that it is his destiny to protect Prince Arthur in order for him to fulfil his destiny and become The Once and Future King who will unite the Land of Albion and return magic to Camelot forever. Initially convinced they had the wrong person for the job (or both jobs), he finds his opinion changing after being "awarded" a position as Arthur's manservant in exchange for saving the prince's life. Arthur is still a dick, sure. But one with the potential to make a damn fine king.
Merlin, far from being the wise and learned teacher of Arthur, is in fact an awkward teenaged boy. While being kind, clever and brave (some might say reckless or foolhardy), he is by no means a saint. Merlin isn't familiar with the word "organization", never thinks before leaping into trouble and is disrespectful of his superiors. The last two traits, plus the ability to lie appallingly badly, mean that he spends a great deal of time in the stocks outside the castle of Camelot, being pelted with rotten vegetables and fruit. Although he is not the most skilled manservant Arthur could have wished for, he is certainly the most loyal. Merlin will lay his life down for his friends and family, even considering exposing his secret as being an extraordinarily talented sorcerer.
Sample Post:
... Now, I think this is all just a bit of a misunderstanding! I wasn't stealing! Or I didn't . . . mean to be. Stealing. You see, I was meant to be looking for some wormwood, and I . . . think there's been a mistake. With the directions, I mean. I didn't expect to end up somewhere quite so . . . swampy, and I suppose the fact that the plants didn't exactly resemble the illustrations from the book could have been something of a clue. Of sorts. But, well. It looked close enough that it might be considered the same thing - or at least used for the same thing - and I really didn't realise that by gathering the plants in question I would in fact be removing them from your . . . "stash", as you put it. Now I know they may have gotten a little crushed, but I'm sure the damage is mostly cosmetic. So if you'd just let me down, I can hand over what's rightfully yours, go on the way that's hopefully mine, and we can all-
Or, there's the option of single combat. Right. Now, I don't want to assume that you're open to taking suggestions, which . . . you probably aren't, but I only feel it fair to warn you that I am fairly handy with . . . swords. A sword. And while I'm sure your champion must be very skilled, he's . . . also quite big, isn't he? Well, then. I'm not saying that your . . . very large, very hairy friend isn't capable of holding his own in a fight, but . . . are you sure you've considered all possible alternatives? You know, the stocks are very traditional in situations like these, and I'm pretty sure I can smell fruit rotting in your orchard from here. Or . . . something rotting, anyway. I hear it's a great form of entertainment. Not to mention target practice. Something for everyone, yeah?
You will! Thank- . . . I mean, I knew you'd see it my way. No sense in all that unnecessary bloodshed over a couple of plants, right? So I'll just wait here while you go get the . . . er. I really think you need to get that looked at. I know access to a physician is probably limited in such a small village, but I'm fairly sure that's not supposed to come-
. . . You know, I think I preferred the potatoes.
Poll Vote!
Character: Natsu
Series: Fairy Tail
Age: Unknown, but appears 18ish
Canon: Fairy Tail is a guild full of mages who spend as much time drunkenly brawling as they do restoring joy and hope to people's lives at the small expense of some extensive property damage. So when you're a member of one of the strongest, loudest, most troublesome guilds in the land, it really says something if you are among the strongest, loudest, and most troublesome members of said guild.
Enter Natsu, wild child with fire magic, as taught to him by the Dragon Who Raised Him. Shirtless, pyromaniacal, and perpetually destroying bar room furniture while roughhousing with his nakama, Natsu is everything you could want a shounen retard hero to be. He's loyal to the end! Believes in solving everything with determination and violence! While still being excitable and fun loving, not to mention quite stupid. Plus, he very literally eats fire for breakfast. But other than his lack-of-gray matter, Natsu's greatest weakness is unquestionably his horrible aversion to any method of transportation which isn't his own two feet or a flying cat. Anything from piggy-back rides to mere memories of carriage trips make him violently ill. Which is a terrifying obstacle he still willingly overcomes, if it there is any chance it will lead him closer to finding his missing adopted DRAGON daddy, Igneel.
Sample App:
Hmmm. Hmmngh. Mmmhmmmn. This bath is really great! Now I can forget about that nightmarish train ride ove-- erghrk, noooo I remembered.
Looks like Igneel's not here, either. Dammit, I thought for sure he'd be hanging out in this great lava tub! It's big enough for him and everything. Guess I gotta go search somewhere else. A little bird told me there's supposed to be a ton of dragons around here, but I haven't seen even one! If that info was wrong, I'm gonna punch that little bird in the face!
Huh, at least it left me this tour guide. I bet if Igneel's here, he'd want to check out the sights too! Let's see... 'stunning, natural volcano'... check. 'Scenic train arriv--' ugh, check. All I saw was my shoes. Next is the 'mysterious, undefeatable energy barrier'. Undefeatable?! Yeah right! I punched through that thing on the way in here! It felt like hitting air. It was so easy I bet even that puny Gray could've got past it.
Man, I've done this much already? Jeez... what's left? 'Thousands of deadly, contagious lepre leo... larp... leopard seals'?! LEOPARDS!!! Haha, awesome! I bet those put up a great fight! Way better than all of those falling apart guys I beat up on the way in. Once I find Igneel, I'll show him I can take out all of those leopard seals!
So all that leaves is 'majestic, last-of-her-kind lake beast'.
Marcy, huh? HEY!! LAKE GIRL!!! I know he's got to be here! Send Igneel out already! That's right, I've been looking everywhere for him, so you can't keep him down there! How's he breathing anyway?
Oooh, I get it! You wanna fight? Come on, MY FLAME WILL BURN YOU TO AS-- blerrrgherkk n-no... haa... stop shaking... please...
Poll Vote!
Character: Loki
Series: Fairy Tail
Character Age: Unknown, but he looks like a teenager.
Canon: Fairy Tail is the best mage guild ever. It has hot girls and alcohol, and strippers and EXPLOSIONS. Which is really all you can ask from a mage guild. But the most important thing about this guild is that their members always stick around to help each other, because they're nakama and being nakama is super important. One such nakama is a smooth womanizer named Loki.
Loki is a chill, well-spoken flirty guy. He's fond of terribly cheesy pick-up lines that for some reason work, and he somehow manages to have several girlfriends at the same time, who instead of getting angry at him, get angry at each other. But unlike most Fairy Tail mages, Loki's a cool, collected guy, and won't fly into a rage even WHEN enraged. This certain regality can be granted to the fact that he's really not human, or a mage, at all. But a Stellar Spirit, a SUMMON, trapped in the realm of humans. Maybe you've heard of Leo the Lion? Yeah. That's him.
Sample Post:
To think someone dared to make a woman cry by taking away her beloved makes my blood boil! I won't stand for it! I, Fairy Tail's Loki, will solve this crime and give this mourning lady some closure.
The motive's obvious; it was a crime of passion. Another man, clearly smitten by the beauty of Miss Sayre, decided to get rid of her boyfriend so he wouldn't have any obstacles. It's evident by the entire situation. Someone here is madly in love with the director.
The problem was that the criminal wasn't counting on Miss Sayre's feelings. He must have thought she'd be pleased upon learning of her fiance's demise, but he was wrong! Despite her cold exterior, Miss Sayre really did care for Mr. Debussey and so she started this place in hopes of finding the one who had stripped her one true love away... granted, this is not the best way to deal. But as a man in love, I understand her pain.
Miss Sayre started camp as a way to find and trap the criminal, unaware that he never meant to escape. He can't afford to; leaving would mean giving up what he's fought so hard for. So he's remained close, but not too close because he still has another barrier to overcome.
Species. That's right, I've concluded that Mr. Debussey's murderer can't have been human. It is simple, Mr Debussey was killed by someone much larger, stronger and dumber than a human. And I have reason to believe that the perpetrator had purple hair-- or fur.
So Miss Sayre, as you can see every human in camp is clear of suspicion and can be let go. We can start taking prints and hair samples of every gorilla as soon as you're ready and I hope you'll honor me with a date once we're finished here ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Haruno Sakura
Series: Naruto
Character Age: 16
Canon: Naruto is a show with a large cast chock-full of high-powered ninja, gathered into a series of hidden villages which serve as military and espionage centers of their respective countries. Ninja rely on chakra, a more or less magical energy generated by the body, to perform high-powered jutsu that sometimes cross the line into flat-out magic. Younger ninja are grouped into small teams, each headed by a high-level adult.
Sakura enters the series as the "weakest link" of her team -- their teacher, Kakashi, is known as an all-powerful genius, and her teammates are both stronger and apparently far more courageous than she. While she is notable at the beginning for being the most intelligent and the most controlled in her use of chakra, she has neither Naruto's massive chakra reserves or Sasuke's combative genius, and on top of that is emotionally flighty and hotheaded, easily angered but almost as easily intimidated. As a result, she often winds up sitting out fights on the sidelines or being taken out early on. When her team is dissolved, however, she marches into the office of their village's leader, Tsunade, and very determinedly begs to be taught.
When we meet her again, nearly three years later, Sakura has matured and changed dramatically. No longer the intelligent but weak one, she has grown exceptionally skilled at medical jutsu, endorsed as being as skilled as Tsunade herself, and has also mastered the art of strengthening her muscles through chakra until a single punch can bring down an enormous tree or leave a gaping crater in the earth. With strength and power has come self-assurance; like any sixteen-year-old girl, she does have moments of self-doubt, but they are rare, and she is fully prepared to take on any stupidity the world tries to throw at her. She cares deeply for her teammates, even if she is sometimes a little rough with them, and anyone who wants to take on the people she holds dear had better be prepared for her to let loose on them!
Sample Post:
There's a saying people like to spread around about Konoha's best medics -- they say that if you're still breathing when we get to you, congratulations, you're going to live! I don't think even Tsunade-sama's ever taken on a challenge like this before, though... but dammit, I'm going to try anyway! I mean, technically, you're still breathing, aren't you?
No, don't you 'braaaains' me, zombie! I'm trying to heal you, so lie down and STOP trying to bite me! I swear, you're worse than a dog. Hell, even Naruto knows when to shut up and let me work on him! You're still alive, in a way, so if I can just repair the damage to your frontal lobe... NO, I'm trying to fix your brain, you can't have mine! If I can fix your stupid blasted stuck-on-brains brain, then maybe you'll go back to normal, and I can be the first med-nin to ever successfully treat a zombie! Ha, call me useless will they?
OW! That's my arm. Stop it, or I'm going to be SMASHING your brain instead of fixing it! You're on thin ice right now, Mr. Zombie. After all the other people you've probably tried to eat, you shouldn't be trying too much on the one who's trying to fix you! If I can just figure out how to get you back to normal... then I can use it on all the zombies here, and actually eliminate this problem rather than just turning you all into splatters of goo when you get too mouthy. I don't think you all chose to go like this, and it's pretty awful that people have just been left to stagger around and rot... OW HEY. STOP IT, or you're going to get downgraded from patients to PUNCHING BAGS. I mean it!
Okay, let's see now... yes, there's quite a lot of decay going on in your frontal lobes, but I think there's enough that I can stimulate healing. You are alive after a sense, at least, and there is brain activity, so... Just give me a moment to concentrate...
OW!
Alright, that's it, I am DONE trying to heal you little twerps! Sakura the med-nin has left the building, and all you brains-obsessed little rotting mouthy bastards are going to have a date with my FISTS. One Haruno Sakura special beatdown, coming right up!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Serifar
Source: The Kastor Chronicles [The Forge of Dawn/The Road Home] by Jesse Hajicek
Character Age: appears 15-16, is actually 4
Canon: The Kastor Chronicles follow the exploits of one Kastor Auberlane -- barbarian, exile, and poet -- as he falls in love, saves the world, is toyed with by the gods, and does all that cool stuff that fantasy novel heroes do. His adventures seem to largely revolve around his encounters with Mara, a race of semi-divine, extremely beautiful men whose magical prowess is matched only by their interest in getting in Kastor's pants. Immortal and amoral, eternally immature, most Mara seem to treat the world -- and the people in it -- like playthings, unless forcibly convinced to do otherwise.
Serifar is the failpuppy of Mara. His creator sealed his powers and left him on his own at a very young age, so he's basically a precocious but socially inept child in a very durable teenage body. Kastor saves him from being snack food for the local wildlife, and Serifar repays his kindness by imprinting like a baby duckling. He knows little of how the world works, has almost no control over his emotions, and asks questions with no sense of tact, which sometimes leads people to conclude that he's not all there. His dialogue sometimes seems disjointed, as he thinks of related ideas too late to incorporate them into a sentence and adds them as fragments at the end. But he's not as stupid as he sounds, just inexperienced -- he learns quickly and he wants to understand the humans around him. He just...needs a little more practice.
Sample post:
Hello? Please, can you help me? I'm very lost. I've been wandering around this swamp all day and I haven't seen anything familiar anywhere. I would remember if I had come this way before! It's all so very strange. And full of things that aren't very nice. There were zombies earlier, you know. Who makes zombies and then just leaves them places? Not doing anything at all, just there. Those poor things! Abandoned by the person who made them. I thought they must be so lonely.
But then I tried to tell them I was sorry about that, because it happened to me, too. Only they didn't listen at all! They just said "grr" and "argh" and then one of them tried to eat me. That already happened to me, too. And that's terrible! It hurts a lot. Worse than just about anything. So I pushed him and I know I'm stronger than ordinary people but still, the way he just fell apart like that was awful.
Probably I should have stayed to try to help. I think that would have been a nice thing to do. But I didn't want to. Instead I just ran away. And I met some strange people-shaped animals with purple fur and I thought they were friendlier than the zombies. They could talk in real words and everything. Like animals in a story. They asked what my name was, so I told them. I even told them what it means. It means 'ivy,' you know. One of them said it should mean 'mistletoe' instead, because I had such a pretty mouth. I didn't understand what that meant, and then he tried to kiss me. It was furry and he smelled bad. And then after I got away from them there was a bear that wanted to give me candy if I would go someplace with him, even though I don't need to eat very much at all. Only it was a strange bear that kept saying iyaaan iyaaan~ when that's not the noise that bears make! ...It's supposed to be more like "wmf wmf." My friend told me. He knows all those things.
...So anyway, now I'm lost in this strange place and all the animals are doing it wrong and -- I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm just plain scared! All I want is a way home again. And maybe for someone to hug me and tell me it's all right. I just -- you know someone who could help me with both of those things? Down at the lake. Yes, I can see it from here. It's very brightly colored. Thank you! Thank you very much. You're so kind! People are basically good after all.
Poll Vote!
Character: Atoli (Chigusa Kusaka)
Series: .hack//GU
Character Age: 16
Canon: In the year 2017, the internet really is Serious Business. The online game "The World" is advertised as child-friendly and fun for the whole family. But unfortunately for many players, Player Killing (literally hunting other often-weaker player characters down for fun and even profit) has become extremely popular and perfectly allowable within the rules. With no official means to deal with this growing problem, the players have been abandoned to cope with the situation on their own. Enter the Moon Tree guild, determined to use their influence to combat the PKers through Peace, Love, and Justice! And maybe a small side of justified asskicking. But unknown to the average player, another threat lurks within the servers and preys upon unsuspecting players. This aberration in the system is AIDA, a mysterious AI that drives infected players insane and leaves many Pked victims comatose in the real world. The only force capable of opposing AIDA
are the Epitaph users, unique PCs with the ability to summon an Avatar.
One of these special PCs is Atoli, a Harvest Cleric (equivalent to a White Mage) from Moon Tree. She’s a gentle and kind girl, masking nervousness and low self-esteem with a cheerful and energetic smile. Her devotion to her guild's ideals, combined with her lack of confidence, can come across as desperate. But she REALLY REALLY means what she's saying and she'll yell, lecture, and even steamroll over others to get her point across. That isn't to say that she isn't needy in her own ways, wanting nothing more than to be able to please the people around her. But since meeting Haseo and joined him in battling the threat of AIDA, she's begun to grow in confidence and found the courage to act on her ideals.
In the real world, she keeps a trio of sparrows as pets. And in many ways, she's very much like the birds she loves so much. She can be fragile, and easily worked up, but she's learning to be brave enough to spread her proverbial wings.
Sample Post:
Excuse me! Please, could you spare a moment? I'm here collecting signatures for a petition, and if you could just listen to me for a second! I'm sure if you just listen, you'll want to lend your support to our efforts! THANK YOU! I'm so happy someone finally stopped, everyone has been so rude so far. But all it takes is one person to stop and listen, and then others will want to know about it and you see....well, I'm so happy you stopped, sir.
My name is Atoli, and I'm here as a representative for Moon Tree! The Moon Tree Guild has heard about the awful conditions here and we want to help! Because that's what we do, you know. We help everyone! And as long as there's people suffering this kind of injustice, Moon Tree will be there! With this petition, we're going to make the Director aware of the awful conditions here and the improvements that are necessary to make this a better place for everyone! Even if she's aware and this is on purpose, I'm sure with enough signatures we can make her realize the error of her ways!
So...please, if you'll just sign and be my first signature! Thank you! Thank you so much, Mister...let's see...Romero! And since you seem so excited about this, would you like to help me? Even if you're kind of scary looking, and you smell kind of strange, and...! Ah! Your arm just...! Here, I'll heal that for you! REPTH! I'm sorry! I...I didn't mean to make it worse! It just proves my point, though! This is why our petition is so important right now! Look at how terrible the conditions are, when people are literally falling to pieces along with the cabins! That's no way for anyone to live! Or...er...exist! It's really too horrible to allow it to go on any longer! But don't worry, together I'm sure we can get everyone to cooperate and then the director will have to listen! As long as our hearts are in the right place, I'm sure everything will work o-....what? O-oh, I see. I didn't realize your heart was missing! Do you need me to
help you get it back?
Oh! OH! I see it, right over there! Look! Look! toucans! And they're playing with it! They look so happy, it kind of makes me happy just watching them. But I'm sure they'll get bored with it eventually, and then we can get your heart back. I just can't bear to take it away from them, when they're so ADORABLE and they've obviously so hungry. They just stole my heart, too! ...just not as literally, I guess!
It really is terrible, though! The poor toucans must be starving, if they'd eat that kind of thing. Mr. Romero, we've got to get more people to help us! I mean...won't someone think of the toucans?!
Poll Vote!
Character: The Russian Federation, a.k.a. Ivan Braginsky
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Unknown. Appears 19-20
Canon:Axis Powers Hetalia is a somewhat educational series that teaches us the history of the world's nations. Those nations just happen to be in the guise of anthropomorphized, moe characters. The moe-est of them all is Russia, a country that has endured a lot of hardship throughout his turbulent history yet still keeps a happy, child-like smile on his face. That's how he lures you in.
The country-bumpkin exterior masks an aura so depraved that Russia unknowingly causes the destruction of things less nefarious than himself. Which would be a great many things, since he gets conjured up in arcane ceremonies designed to summon the ultimate evil. All Russia really wants is to live in a warm place surrounded by sunflowers. And have the other countries beg for mercy and look upon him with troubled faces as they all become one with Russia.
(Note: Russia often chants "kol" repeatedly. It stands for kolkhoz, a Soviet collective farm. You don't want to end up there.
Another note: Image kindly hosted by Canada for anonymity.)
Sample Post:
The quality of America's theme parks certainly is slipping. Given the times, I suppose he has to cut corners where he can~ Oh! Hello, there! Um... It's very hard to understand you all if you keep mumbling like that. I suppose missing most of your mouth does make it more difficult. "Braaaains," is it? Oh, I see! You are zombies! That's the theme, yes?
Ah... I don't really mind since you are in character but, um, the biting is a bit much-- Ahahaha that tickles! You're very dedicated to your role. It's like you're actually enjoying the bloo-- Hah? What's with the violent shaking, comrade-- Waaah!!! I-- I wasn't expecting him to burst open like that! Oh, but it's all special effects isn't it? America is certainly fond of his explosions, after all. All the little pieces are still twitching, too. It's so realistic!
Where are all of you going in such a hurry and why do you need an adult? You are showing me where the main park is, yes? I see the sign-- "Camp Fuck you Die?" What a funny name for a theme pa-- It's not a theme park? Oh, I see. Everyone's trapped behind a barrier... and no one can leave? I didn't know America made that kind of camp. How unexpected~!
I can't leave either? In that case, I should make the most out of the situation, yes? America is obviously doing it wrong. I'll show you the proper way of running a camp. It wouldn't be that much different from a KOLKOLKOL-- koff!-- collective farm, comrade! There's a lot of workable land here and an easily accessible water source which is... a very interesting shade of bright green. Oh... it's radioactive? I suppose I could do a bit of cleanup during my stay~ I do have experience in handling such things.
Now, I'm sure your missing limbs will slow you down a bit, but you still seem capable of basic mechanical assembly. We'll have to construct appropriate containment for all that radioactive material. We should start work immediately!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Merlin
Series: BBC's Merlin (2008)
Character Age: late teens, probably?
Canon: The 2008 BBC version of Merlin could best be described as a group of drunk history students taking out all the boring parts of the Arthurian legend, making everyone the same age and then watching what happens. It's not at all accurate to the legend, but it is a great deal of fun. Born with an instinctive talent for magic during a time when anyone caught using it could - and would - be executed without fair trial, to say Merlin had a little trouble fitting in would be an understatement. His mother, fearing for what might come of him, sent him to Camelot in order to be guided by the Court Physician, Gaius, in both sorcery and how best to keep out of trouble. Unfortunately, the last bit proves to be slightly harder than it would seem - Merlin soon learns that it is his destiny to protect Prince Arthur in order for him to fulfil his destiny and become The Once and Future King who will unite the Land of Albion and return magic to Camelot forever. Initially convinced they had the wrong person for the job (or both jobs), he finds his opinion changing after being "awarded" a position as Arthur's manservant in exchange for saving the prince's life. Arthur is still a dick, sure. But one with the potential to make a damn fine king.
Merlin, far from being the wise and learned teacher of Arthur, is in fact an awkward teenaged boy. While being kind, clever and brave (some might say reckless or foolhardy), he is by no means a saint. Merlin isn't familiar with the word "organization", never thinks before leaping into trouble and is disrespectful of his superiors. The last two traits, plus the ability to lie appallingly badly, mean that he spends a great deal of time in the stocks outside the castle of Camelot, being pelted with rotten vegetables and fruit. Although he is not the most skilled manservant Arthur could have wished for, he is certainly the most loyal. Merlin will lay his life down for his friends and family, even considering exposing his secret as being an extraordinarily talented sorcerer.
Sample Post:
... Now, I think this is all just a bit of a misunderstanding! I wasn't stealing! Or I didn't . . . mean to be. Stealing. You see, I was meant to be looking for some wormwood, and I . . . think there's been a mistake. With the directions, I mean. I didn't expect to end up somewhere quite so . . . swampy, and I suppose the fact that the plants didn't exactly resemble the illustrations from the book could have been something of a clue. Of sorts. But, well. It looked close enough that it might be considered the same thing - or at least used for the same thing - and I really didn't realise that by gathering the plants in question I would in fact be removing them from your . . . "stash", as you put it. Now I know they may have gotten a little crushed, but I'm sure the damage is mostly cosmetic. So if you'd just let me down, I can hand over what's rightfully yours, go on the way that's hopefully mine, and we can all-
Or, there's the option of single combat. Right. Now, I don't want to assume that you're open to taking suggestions, which . . . you probably aren't, but I only feel it fair to warn you that I am fairly handy with . . . swords. A sword. And while I'm sure your champion must be very skilled, he's . . . also quite big, isn't he? Well, then. I'm not saying that your . . . very large, very hairy friend isn't capable of holding his own in a fight, but . . . are you sure you've considered all possible alternatives? You know, the stocks are very traditional in situations like these, and I'm pretty sure I can smell fruit rotting in your orchard from here. Or . . . something rotting, anyway. I hear it's a great form of entertainment. Not to mention target practice. Something for everyone, yeah?
You will! Thank- . . . I mean, I knew you'd see it my way. No sense in all that unnecessary bloodshed over a couple of plants, right? So I'll just wait here while you go get the . . . er. I really think you need to get that looked at. I know access to a physician is probably limited in such a small village, but I'm fairly sure that's not supposed to come-
. . . You know, I think I preferred the potatoes.
Poll Vote!
Character: Natsu
Series: Fairy Tail
Age: Unknown, but appears 18ish
Canon: Fairy Tail is a guild full of mages who spend as much time drunkenly brawling as they do restoring joy and hope to people's lives at the small expense of some extensive property damage. So when you're a member of one of the strongest, loudest, most troublesome guilds in the land, it really says something if you are among the strongest, loudest, and most troublesome members of said guild.
Enter Natsu, wild child with fire magic, as taught to him by the Dragon Who Raised Him. Shirtless, pyromaniacal, and perpetually destroying bar room furniture while roughhousing with his nakama, Natsu is everything you could want a shounen retard hero to be. He's loyal to the end! Believes in solving everything with determination and violence! While still being excitable and fun loving, not to mention quite stupid. Plus, he very literally eats fire for breakfast. But other than his lack-of-gray matter, Natsu's greatest weakness is unquestionably his horrible aversion to any method of transportation which isn't his own two feet or a flying cat. Anything from piggy-back rides to mere memories of carriage trips make him violently ill. Which is a terrifying obstacle he still willingly overcomes, if it there is any chance it will lead him closer to finding his missing adopted DRAGON daddy, Igneel.
Sample App:
Hmmm. Hmmngh. Mmmhmmmn. This bath is really great! Now I can forget about that nightmarish train ride ove-- erghrk, noooo I remembered.
Looks like Igneel's not here, either. Dammit, I thought for sure he'd be hanging out in this great lava tub! It's big enough for him and everything. Guess I gotta go search somewhere else. A little bird told me there's supposed to be a ton of dragons around here, but I haven't seen even one! If that info was wrong, I'm gonna punch that little bird in the face!
Huh, at least it left me this tour guide. I bet if Igneel's here, he'd want to check out the sights too! Let's see... 'stunning, natural volcano'... check. 'Scenic train arriv--' ugh, check. All I saw was my shoes. Next is the 'mysterious, undefeatable energy barrier'. Undefeatable?! Yeah right! I punched through that thing on the way in here! It felt like hitting air. It was so easy I bet even that puny Gray could've got past it.
Man, I've done this much already? Jeez... what's left? 'Thousands of deadly, contagious lepre leo... larp... leopard seals'?! LEOPARDS!!! Haha, awesome! I bet those put up a great fight! Way better than all of those falling apart guys I beat up on the way in. Once I find Igneel, I'll show him I can take out all of those leopard seals!
So all that leaves is 'majestic, last-of-her-kind lake beast'.
Marcy, huh? HEY!! LAKE GIRL!!! I know he's got to be here! Send Igneel out already! That's right, I've been looking everywhere for him, so you can't keep him down there! How's he breathing anyway?
Oooh, I get it! You wanna fight? Come on, MY FLAME WILL BURN YOU TO AS-- blerrrgherkk n-no... haa... stop shaking... please...
Poll Vote!
Character: Loki
Series: Fairy Tail
Character Age: Unknown, but he looks like a teenager.
Canon: Fairy Tail is the best mage guild ever. It has hot girls and alcohol, and strippers and EXPLOSIONS. Which is really all you can ask from a mage guild. But the most important thing about this guild is that their members always stick around to help each other, because they're nakama and being nakama is super important. One such nakama is a smooth womanizer named Loki.
Loki is a chill, well-spoken flirty guy. He's fond of terribly cheesy pick-up lines that for some reason work, and he somehow manages to have several girlfriends at the same time, who instead of getting angry at him, get angry at each other. But unlike most Fairy Tail mages, Loki's a cool, collected guy, and won't fly into a rage even WHEN enraged. This certain regality can be granted to the fact that he's really not human, or a mage, at all. But a Stellar Spirit, a SUMMON, trapped in the realm of humans. Maybe you've heard of Leo the Lion? Yeah. That's him.
Sample Post:
To think someone dared to make a woman cry by taking away her beloved makes my blood boil! I won't stand for it! I, Fairy Tail's Loki, will solve this crime and give this mourning lady some closure.
The motive's obvious; it was a crime of passion. Another man, clearly smitten by the beauty of Miss Sayre, decided to get rid of her boyfriend so he wouldn't have any obstacles. It's evident by the entire situation. Someone here is madly in love with the director.
The problem was that the criminal wasn't counting on Miss Sayre's feelings. He must have thought she'd be pleased upon learning of her fiance's demise, but he was wrong! Despite her cold exterior, Miss Sayre really did care for Mr. Debussey and so she started this place in hopes of finding the one who had stripped her one true love away... granted, this is not the best way to deal. But as a man in love, I understand her pain.
Miss Sayre started camp as a way to find and trap the criminal, unaware that he never meant to escape. He can't afford to; leaving would mean giving up what he's fought so hard for. So he's remained close, but not too close because he still has another barrier to overcome.
Species. That's right, I've concluded that Mr. Debussey's murderer can't have been human. It is simple, Mr Debussey was killed by someone much larger, stronger and dumber than a human. And I have reason to believe that the perpetrator had purple hair-- or fur.
So Miss Sayre, as you can see every human in camp is clear of suspicion and can be let go. We can start taking prints and hair samples of every gorilla as soon as you're ready and I hope you'll honor me with a date once we're finished here ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Haruno Sakura
Series: Naruto
Character Age: 16
Canon: Naruto is a show with a large cast chock-full of high-powered ninja, gathered into a series of hidden villages which serve as military and espionage centers of their respective countries. Ninja rely on chakra, a more or less magical energy generated by the body, to perform high-powered jutsu that sometimes cross the line into flat-out magic. Younger ninja are grouped into small teams, each headed by a high-level adult.
Sakura enters the series as the "weakest link" of her team -- their teacher, Kakashi, is known as an all-powerful genius, and her teammates are both stronger and apparently far more courageous than she. While she is notable at the beginning for being the most intelligent and the most controlled in her use of chakra, she has neither Naruto's massive chakra reserves or Sasuke's combative genius, and on top of that is emotionally flighty and hotheaded, easily angered but almost as easily intimidated. As a result, she often winds up sitting out fights on the sidelines or being taken out early on. When her team is dissolved, however, she marches into the office of their village's leader, Tsunade, and very determinedly begs to be taught.
When we meet her again, nearly three years later, Sakura has matured and changed dramatically. No longer the intelligent but weak one, she has grown exceptionally skilled at medical jutsu, endorsed as being as skilled as Tsunade herself, and has also mastered the art of strengthening her muscles through chakra until a single punch can bring down an enormous tree or leave a gaping crater in the earth. With strength and power has come self-assurance; like any sixteen-year-old girl, she does have moments of self-doubt, but they are rare, and she is fully prepared to take on any stupidity the world tries to throw at her. She cares deeply for her teammates, even if she is sometimes a little rough with them, and anyone who wants to take on the people she holds dear had better be prepared for her to let loose on them!
Sample Post:
There's a saying people like to spread around about Konoha's best medics -- they say that if you're still breathing when we get to you, congratulations, you're going to live! I don't think even Tsunade-sama's ever taken on a challenge like this before, though... but dammit, I'm going to try anyway! I mean, technically, you're still breathing, aren't you?
No, don't you 'braaaains' me, zombie! I'm trying to heal you, so lie down and STOP trying to bite me! I swear, you're worse than a dog. Hell, even Naruto knows when to shut up and let me work on him! You're still alive, in a way, so if I can just repair the damage to your frontal lobe... NO, I'm trying to fix your brain, you can't have mine! If I can fix your stupid blasted stuck-on-brains brain, then maybe you'll go back to normal, and I can be the first med-nin to ever successfully treat a zombie! Ha, call me useless will they?
OW! That's my arm. Stop it, or I'm going to be SMASHING your brain instead of fixing it! You're on thin ice right now, Mr. Zombie. After all the other people you've probably tried to eat, you shouldn't be trying too much on the one who's trying to fix you! If I can just figure out how to get you back to normal... then I can use it on all the zombies here, and actually eliminate this problem rather than just turning you all into splatters of goo when you get too mouthy. I don't think you all chose to go like this, and it's pretty awful that people have just been left to stagger around and rot... OW HEY. STOP IT, or you're going to get downgraded from patients to PUNCHING BAGS. I mean it!
Okay, let's see now... yes, there's quite a lot of decay going on in your frontal lobes, but I think there's enough that I can stimulate healing. You are alive after a sense, at least, and there is brain activity, so... Just give me a moment to concentrate...
OW!
Alright, that's it, I am DONE trying to heal you little twerps! Sakura the med-nin has left the building, and all you brains-obsessed little rotting mouthy bastards are going to have a date with my FISTS. One Haruno Sakura special beatdown, coming right up!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Serifar
Source: The Kastor Chronicles [The Forge of Dawn/The Road Home] by Jesse Hajicek
Character Age: appears 15-16, is actually 4
Canon: The Kastor Chronicles follow the exploits of one Kastor Auberlane -- barbarian, exile, and poet -- as he falls in love, saves the world, is toyed with by the gods, and does all that cool stuff that fantasy novel heroes do. His adventures seem to largely revolve around his encounters with Mara, a race of semi-divine, extremely beautiful men whose magical prowess is matched only by their interest in getting in Kastor's pants. Immortal and amoral, eternally immature, most Mara seem to treat the world -- and the people in it -- like playthings, unless forcibly convinced to do otherwise.
Serifar is the failpuppy of Mara. His creator sealed his powers and left him on his own at a very young age, so he's basically a precocious but socially inept child in a very durable teenage body. Kastor saves him from being snack food for the local wildlife, and Serifar repays his kindness by imprinting like a baby duckling. He knows little of how the world works, has almost no control over his emotions, and asks questions with no sense of tact, which sometimes leads people to conclude that he's not all there. His dialogue sometimes seems disjointed, as he thinks of related ideas too late to incorporate them into a sentence and adds them as fragments at the end. But he's not as stupid as he sounds, just inexperienced -- he learns quickly and he wants to understand the humans around him. He just...needs a little more practice.
Sample post:
Hello? Please, can you help me? I'm very lost. I've been wandering around this swamp all day and I haven't seen anything familiar anywhere. I would remember if I had come this way before! It's all so very strange. And full of things that aren't very nice. There were zombies earlier, you know. Who makes zombies and then just leaves them places? Not doing anything at all, just there. Those poor things! Abandoned by the person who made them. I thought they must be so lonely.
But then I tried to tell them I was sorry about that, because it happened to me, too. Only they didn't listen at all! They just said "grr" and "argh" and then one of them tried to eat me. That already happened to me, too. And that's terrible! It hurts a lot. Worse than just about anything. So I pushed him and I know I'm stronger than ordinary people but still, the way he just fell apart like that was awful.
Probably I should have stayed to try to help. I think that would have been a nice thing to do. But I didn't want to. Instead I just ran away. And I met some strange people-shaped animals with purple fur and I thought they were friendlier than the zombies. They could talk in real words and everything. Like animals in a story. They asked what my name was, so I told them. I even told them what it means. It means 'ivy,' you know. One of them said it should mean 'mistletoe' instead, because I had such a pretty mouth. I didn't understand what that meant, and then he tried to kiss me. It was furry and he smelled bad. And then after I got away from them there was a bear that wanted to give me candy if I would go someplace with him, even though I don't need to eat very much at all. Only it was a strange bear that kept saying iyaaan iyaaan~ when that's not the noise that bears make! ...It's supposed to be more like "wmf wmf." My friend told me. He knows all those things.
...So anyway, now I'm lost in this strange place and all the animals are doing it wrong and -- I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm just plain scared! All I want is a way home again. And maybe for someone to hug me and tell me it's all right. I just -- you know someone who could help me with both of those things? Down at the lake. Yes, I can see it from here. It's very brightly colored. Thank you! Thank you very much. You're so kind! People are basically good after all.
Poll Vote!
Character: Atoli (Chigusa Kusaka)
Series: .hack//GU
Character Age: 16
Canon: In the year 2017, the internet really is Serious Business. The online game "The World" is advertised as child-friendly and fun for the whole family. But unfortunately for many players, Player Killing (literally hunting other often-weaker player characters down for fun and even profit) has become extremely popular and perfectly allowable within the rules. With no official means to deal with this growing problem, the players have been abandoned to cope with the situation on their own. Enter the Moon Tree guild, determined to use their influence to combat the PKers through Peace, Love, and Justice! And maybe a small side of justified asskicking. But unknown to the average player, another threat lurks within the servers and preys upon unsuspecting players. This aberration in the system is AIDA, a mysterious AI that drives infected players insane and leaves many Pked victims comatose in the real world. The only force capable of opposing AIDA
are the Epitaph users, unique PCs with the ability to summon an Avatar.
One of these special PCs is Atoli, a Harvest Cleric (equivalent to a White Mage) from Moon Tree. She’s a gentle and kind girl, masking nervousness and low self-esteem with a cheerful and energetic smile. Her devotion to her guild's ideals, combined with her lack of confidence, can come across as desperate. But she REALLY REALLY means what she's saying and she'll yell, lecture, and even steamroll over others to get her point across. That isn't to say that she isn't needy in her own ways, wanting nothing more than to be able to please the people around her. But since meeting Haseo and joined him in battling the threat of AIDA, she's begun to grow in confidence and found the courage to act on her ideals.
In the real world, she keeps a trio of sparrows as pets. And in many ways, she's very much like the birds she loves so much. She can be fragile, and easily worked up, but she's learning to be brave enough to spread her proverbial wings.
Sample Post:
Excuse me! Please, could you spare a moment? I'm here collecting signatures for a petition, and if you could just listen to me for a second! I'm sure if you just listen, you'll want to lend your support to our efforts! THANK YOU! I'm so happy someone finally stopped, everyone has been so rude so far. But all it takes is one person to stop and listen, and then others will want to know about it and you see....well, I'm so happy you stopped, sir.
My name is Atoli, and I'm here as a representative for Moon Tree! The Moon Tree Guild has heard about the awful conditions here and we want to help! Because that's what we do, you know. We help everyone! And as long as there's people suffering this kind of injustice, Moon Tree will be there! With this petition, we're going to make the Director aware of the awful conditions here and the improvements that are necessary to make this a better place for everyone! Even if she's aware and this is on purpose, I'm sure with enough signatures we can make her realize the error of her ways!
So...please, if you'll just sign and be my first signature! Thank you! Thank you so much, Mister...let's see...Romero! And since you seem so excited about this, would you like to help me? Even if you're kind of scary looking, and you smell kind of strange, and...! Ah! Your arm just...! Here, I'll heal that for you! REPTH! I'm sorry! I...I didn't mean to make it worse! It just proves my point, though! This is why our petition is so important right now! Look at how terrible the conditions are, when people are literally falling to pieces along with the cabins! That's no way for anyone to live! Or...er...exist! It's really too horrible to allow it to go on any longer! But don't worry, together I'm sure we can get everyone to cooperate and then the director will have to listen! As long as our hearts are in the right place, I'm sure everything will work o-....what? O-oh, I see. I didn't realize your heart was missing! Do you need me to
help you get it back?
Oh! OH! I see it, right over there! Look! Look! toucans! And they're playing with it! They look so happy, it kind of makes me happy just watching them. But I'm sure they'll get bored with it eventually, and then we can get your heart back. I just can't bear to take it away from them, when they're so ADORABLE and they've obviously so hungry. They just stole my heart, too! ...just not as literally, I guess!
It really is terrible, though! The poor toucans must be starving, if they'd eat that kind of thing. Mr. Romero, we've got to get more people to help us! I mean...won't someone think of the toucans?!
Poll Vote!
Character: The Russian Federation, a.k.a. Ivan Braginsky
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Unknown. Appears 19-20
Canon:Axis Powers Hetalia is a somewhat educational series that teaches us the history of the world's nations. Those nations just happen to be in the guise of anthropomorphized, moe characters. The moe-est of them all is Russia, a country that has endured a lot of hardship throughout his turbulent history yet still keeps a happy, child-like smile on his face. That's how he lures you in.
The country-bumpkin exterior masks an aura so depraved that Russia unknowingly causes the destruction of things less nefarious than himself. Which would be a great many things, since he gets conjured up in arcane ceremonies designed to summon the ultimate evil. All Russia really wants is to live in a warm place surrounded by sunflowers. And have the other countries beg for mercy and look upon him with troubled faces as they all become one with Russia.
(Note: Russia often chants "kol" repeatedly. It stands for kolkhoz, a Soviet collective farm. You don't want to end up there.
Another note: Image kindly hosted by Canada for anonymity.)
Sample Post:
The quality of America's theme parks certainly is slipping. Given the times, I suppose he has to cut corners where he can~ Oh! Hello, there! Um... It's very hard to understand you all if you keep mumbling like that. I suppose missing most of your mouth does make it more difficult. "Braaaains," is it? Oh, I see! You are zombies! That's the theme, yes?
Ah... I don't really mind since you are in character but, um, the biting is a bit much-- Ahahaha that tickles! You're very dedicated to your role. It's like you're actually enjoying the bloo-- Hah? What's with the violent shaking, comrade-- Waaah!!! I-- I wasn't expecting him to burst open like that! Oh, but it's all special effects isn't it? America is certainly fond of his explosions, after all. All the little pieces are still twitching, too. It's so realistic!
Where are all of you going in such a hurry and why do you need an adult? You are showing me where the main park is, yes? I see the sign-- "Camp Fuck you Die?" What a funny name for a theme pa-- It's not a theme park? Oh, I see. Everyone's trapped behind a barrier... and no one can leave? I didn't know America made that kind of camp. How unexpected~!
I can't leave either? In that case, I should make the most out of the situation, yes? America is obviously doing it wrong. I'll show you the proper way of running a camp. It wouldn't be that much different from a KOLKOLKOL-- koff!-- collective farm, comrade! There's a lot of workable land here and an easily accessible water source which is... a very interesting shade of bright green. Oh... it's radioactive? I suppose I could do a bit of cleanup during my stay~ I do have experience in handling such things.
Now, I'm sure your missing limbs will slow you down a bit, but you still seem capable of basic mechanical assembly. We'll have to construct appropriate containment for all that radioactive material. We should start work immediately!
Poll Vote!