(no subject)
I'M SLEEPING IN A MINUTE. clearly, this means I should post another batch.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character Name: Homura (aka Kagari)
Series: Sekirei
Age: 19-20
Canon: Sekirei is a stereotypical harem manga, with a no-good loser protagonist and gorgeous magical girls with impossibly large breasts-girls that are, for one reason or another, involved in an epic battle royale. Then there's Homura. Going by the name Kagari in the "real world," Homura is a soft-spoken and attractive ladies' man that is number one at a well-known host club. In actuality, however, he's one of the few male Sekireis, and at night, plays the role of guardian, wearing a mask and showing up to protect threatened Sekireis that haven't yet been "winged"-the "level up" that happens when a Sekirei finds his or her chosen master. Homura is incredibly dedicated to his cause, playing Tuxedo Mask alongside trying to lead a normal(ish) life, and often seems tired as a result; though that might just be the faint air of wry melancholy he carries with him at all times.
An unwinged Sekirei himself, Homura isn't nearly as well-adjusted as his mild-mannered smiles might lead people to believe. His power and gender are both unstable, leading to occasional fits of accidental self-immolation, as well as extreme pain and sensitivity. Not only is his body slowly breaking down, but he's also in the process of "feminization" from going unwinged so long and occasionally losing control over his powers-which is annoying, as well as painful, since being a host is a little awkward when you're growing breasts (and even more so as it's implied Kagari might have been offering "other services" to clients as well). Stubbornly prideful, easily embarrassed, and temperamental (to the point of spontaneously lighting people on fire if he gets flustered), Homura nonetheless has a dry sense of humour and isn't above laughing at himself-or others. He can be sharp-tongued and rather arrogant when riled, with a tendency to be condescending, though he tries to keep his impatience and bitterness clamped under a smile as Kagari. That aside, the differences between his dual identities are few and far between, which makes it all the more pathetic when people don't recognize him. Other Sekirei? Not always the brightest.
Note: Homura is being taken from late in the series where he has a little more control over his powers.
Sample Post:
I have to say, I've never been invited to a place quite like this before. Sayre-san certainly has pulled out all the stops for whatever effect she's attempting to go for . . . though I can't say I know what that is. Anyway, I'd appreciate assistance in actually finding my client. Hide-and-seek isn't a game I'm usually expected to play, if you get my meaning. Though Sayre-san certainly seems, ah, playful. The "supplies" I was given upon arrival included a length of rope, a wrench, and a candlestick, though I haven't got a clue as to why. The rope I can understand, but what a host expected to do in the bedroom with a wrench is beyond me.
Especially since . . . heh, is it true, the list of warnings and restrictions on the bulletin board, there? Mistletoe season, no sex . . . well, I suppose that one is something of a relief. Scrunchies, really? No tampons, no mixed-sex cabins . . .? Oh, you mean-oh, males and females in the same place . . . right, of course. What else could mixed sex mean? Really . . . w-well, I don't expect I'll have to stay in one, considering I'm just here to meet Sayre-san for the evening, and then I'll be gone, but-well, never mind. It definitely doesn't matter.
. . . or perhaps it does? Somehow I'm getting the impression that this camp isn't exactly what it's been advertised as. Something is definitely off-yes, yes, the shambling undead did tip me off, but after hosting hordes of overworked office ladies, you can't blame me for being a bit slow. So this is the sort of place that's easy to enter, but difficult to leave, hm? The advertisements for a "Trap Support Group" seem to imply that nobody here actually meant to come here on purpose, at the very least. Haah . . . how troublesome. But believe me, a support group won't be necessary-even if I've been drawn here just like the rest of you, I can handle this on my own, trap or no trap.
So, Sayre-san, will you come out and face me? Or are you like certain other despicable masterminds that like to hide behind their wealth and the products of their . . . hn, genius, from your elaborate schemes to your sorry excuse for-ugh, tentacles?! Are you really serious? No doubt about it, this place is vile. Have your monster unhand me immediately unless you like your calamari extra well done. I'm not joki-h-hey, stop, hey d-don't grab there-!
"It's for /d/" is it? Perverts, just show me where this "Dee" is. I'll burn him so badly he'll need to breathe through a series of tubes.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kanji Tatsumi
Series: Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4
Character Age: 16
Canon: Persona 4 is the heartwarming story of Souji Seta, a young man who moves to the quiet countryside town of Inaba for his second year of highschool. In his spare time, he hangs out with his friends, participates in club activities, works at part time jobs, and climbs through a TV with his friends to track down and stop a serial killer stalking his town. Yes, things are not quite as they seem in Inaba. Souji and his friends have the ability to summon Personas, their "true selves" revealed by facing their deepest secrets in order to enter a mysterious TV World where the murders are taking place.
Kanji Tatsumi is one of those friends. Originally a target of the murderer himself, he joins Souji after being rescued. Kanji is a legend in Inaba as a violent, angry biker gang leader, a reputation not entirely unearned even though his goal is to stop the biker gangs. However, Kanji is not quite the stereotypical gang leader Inaba would paint him as, despite his short temper and simple outlook on life. He prefers knitting and cute things to violence, and just wants to be accepted for his unique hobbies instead of being made fun of for being "unmanly." Of course, that doesn't mean he isn't ready, willing, and able to crack a few skulls when angered. It just means he's equally likely to be angered about the gang violence in his neighborhood as he is someone stealing his animal crackers.
Note: Temari are small, embroidered handballs.
Sample Post:
Heh. I wasn't really expecting this many of you...it's kinda embarrassing, all of you starin' at me like that. What are those, some kinda monkey costumes...? Well, whatever, right? Gotta suck it up!
Awright! Welcome to Temari Making 101! Guess I should introduce myself, huh? Name's Kanji. Alright, so, uh...Temari has a long history in Japan, but I ain't gonna bore you with that kinda shit. If you're here you either already know or you don't and it doesn't matter to you, right? I mean, why would you even sign up if you didn't want to learn to make art, right? Wha--? You play with a lot of balls in your line of work? The hell's that supposed to mean?
So let's just get started. First thing you need is the ball, obviously. I already have a bunch all prepared for you 'cause doing it yourself can take a long time if you're just starting out. Now, normally, I go for the bigger balls, myself, but since this is your first time, it's probably better to start with smaller ones. Just make sure it fits comfortably in the palm of your hand. Don't try to show off by taking balls bigger than you can handle, okay? It won't make you look cool. No one gives a shit who has the biggest balls.
Now we have to pick out our patterns. Here's mine, see? It's got that squid thing from the lake on it. This is kinda an advanced pattern, though. You should probably start out with flowers, since it'll be a lot easier. Or if you want to make it more homey, you could try and do one of those weird-ass trees around here. 'Course, if you really wanna do an advanced pattern, 's not like I can stop you or anything. Maybe you could try doing one of those little fuzzy things with the pompom on their head...I wonder if their fur's as soft as it looks... A-Anyway! Now you just gotta keep following the pattern and putting in pins where you need 'em and then connect 'em with a bit of string. Make sure you ain't using the same bit of string as anyone else. You don't wanna end up tying your balls together. After that it's just all makin' your balls look pretty. Now that that's done, you've got your very own balls you can show all your friends!
What can you do with 'em? Well, if you wrap them tight enough, you can play with them, like normal balls, but mostly they're just really pretty to look at. Wha--the hell you laughing at, punk!? There's nothing weird about a guy doin stuff like this! So what if you can't really play sports with 'em! What the...? What the hell do you think you're doing! If you keep throwing them around like that, it'll all come undone! It doesn't matter HOW tight you wrap them if you're gonna be bouncin' em around like that! Knock that shit off before I bust your balls!
Poll Vote!
Character: Estellise "Estelle" Sidos Heurassein
Series: Tales of Vesperia
Character Age: 18
Canon: Welcome to the world of Terca Lumireis; it's got everything! Beautiful scenery, beautiful towns, and monsters running rampant everywhere. Even though everything is fine and dandy to look at, not everything is as happy as it seems. Because the world is overrun with monsters, devices known as "Blastia" are used to protect cities from the monsters on the outside. Not only that but they can also be used to perform "artes," which is basically magic. The story starts out because of said blastia even, when one Yuri Lowell has to chase down a baddy who's stolen an aqua blastia from the downtown area of the capital its up to him to return it safely! And of course the Princess he just so happens to meet while escaping from prison at the castle can come too.
Estelle is the princess in question! She's someone who puts others before herself. If you're hurt she'll come to your side in a matter of seconds. But because she grew up sheltered in a castle she is extremely naive and can be rash about ideas or situations. She doesn't mean any harm when she quickly changes from wanting to do one thing to another, since she only wants to do what she hopes is good for everyone. She's a huge bookworm to boot and once she starts reading you can't pull her away. She is extremely polite when she speaks but knows when to speak her mind... or just be plain stubborn in general.
Sample Post:
Um... "Pedophile; one who is infected with pedophilia." and "Pedophilia" is... the interest in young children? While it is good to know that there are people who care for the young, that... doesn't sound quite right to me. Um, yes. This is what you wanted me to give the definition of, is it not? Forgive me if it isn't exactly correct, since it's the first time I've ever used such a word.
If I may ask, what it is the reason behind your inquiry of the definition? I understand that everyone wants to learn more as they progress in life. It's a part of nature after all. But I have never been asked by someone to give me a direct definition of a word. Your name is... mister Pedo Bear, if I'm not mistaken? What a nice name! You must be very proud of it! It does sound very familiar to pedophilia, though... Perhaps it's merely a coincidence. Oh, forgive me! I was getting lost in my own thoughts again, haha... Is there anything else you would like to ask of me? I'm willing to lend my services to you in anyway I could. I'm good with healing artes so if you're hurt, then I could help you! Oh, you did need some help? In that case, I would gladly lend my services to you! Ah, you want me to... follow you into a secluded area where we can talk more... privately? Where I can put my healing to good use? I guess that wouldn't be a problem but... I could just do it here if you would like? The surroundings don't really matter for me!
-- Ah, excuse me, but I must ask that you refrain from using your... hands in such a manner. It's very rude to touch a lady without her consent! I may have agreed to help you, but I think you misunderstood my reason behind it. ...sir, I don't think I quite understand your intentions. Have you...mistaken me for a... fourteen year old? I'll have you know that I am eighteen years of age and I do not appear to be that young! As a matter of fact, it's wrong to think of a child in such a way in the first place!
... Please stop trying to touch me... You may think I appear young but I will not refrain from using force if I must.
Poll Vote!
Character: Jona Matsuka
Series: Terra e...
Character Age: Looks to be 17
Canon: Humankind has left to colonize space when Terra (the Earth) is no longer inhabitable, aided by a system of super computers that regulates births, lives, and deaths. The SD System’s ultimate objective is to groom humans into a tier of elites capable of rehabilitating Terra in the future. Mu, humans who've mutated into a superpowered telepathic race, eventually emerges to rebel against the system. Those with Mu characteristics are routinely purged as not to threaten to the grand plan, but every once in a while, a small number manages to slips by the system check.
Matsuka is one of those who've managed to remain undetected. Quiet, meek, and sensitive, he lays low, in fear of being discovered, and also of his abilities which he doesn't understand. Being "abnormal" is his biggest conflict, leading to a life of anxiety and tension (and perhaps a not so mild existential crisis). By a twist of luck, he's chosen to serve Member Elite Keith Anyan, whose goal is to eradicate the Mu altogether. Matsuka serves Keith out of sheer terror and respect, yet his unwavering loyalty toward his commander keeps him clear headed and focused. When he’s not utilizing his powers for Keith’s sake, he makes coffee and keeps searching for that squishy commander center.
Sample Entry:
Would you terribly mind giving me back my gun? And my badge, too? T-The badge especially so. It shows that I’m in charge of training the newest unit of Terra Defense Agency. That would be you, cadets. I can’t demonstrate my authority if you’re playing catch with it.
I guess I can do without it for the time being, as long as you can tell that I’m trying to help you here. I understand you may find this exercise of no consequence, but humanity depends greatly on your willingness to serve your superiors to the best of your abilities. There are people out there who’ve entrusted their lives into your cold, if capable hands, and your time and effort will be a small sacrifice for the goods of others.
The commander trusts me to measure your mental and physical response, even if the former seems a little bit… different, but I’m sure you’ll be able to make up for it! I can feel no overpowering anxiety coming off you, which should be good. I think. As members of the Agency, you should be prepared to fend off psychological attacks and mental manipulation. They come in all forms and shapes, from holiday plants that bend your reason and will to mind reading birds. N-Not that it’s the birds’ fault, or that they can help what they are, but people should be shielded from that!
I’ve been informed of a concentration of threats in this area, and while the barrier keeps them in place, we have to consider the rest of the populace who have to deal with them. There’s the small issue of administering ESP checks on you, but it seems that none of you physically possess brains… I suppose that’s why the commander is so right in choosing you to be this camp’s first anti-psychic defense squad. But if you can be useful in any small way to the cause, then I’m willing to do all that I can to help you!
Now according to the commander’s list of instructions, the best way to start your training is to charge right into it. You’ll have to show me your dedicate spirit in tackling things head-on, even if they’re-y-you’re not supposed to charge at me! Your target is all the way over there! I don’t think this training is working very well…
Or maybe I can just teach you how to make coffee.
Poll Vote!
Name: Charis
Series:The Forge of Dawn/The Road Home, by Jessi Hajicek
Age: Eight
Canon: Once upon a time, Kastor Auberlane helped save the world. He did this in the traditional manner involving a long, dangerous quest, incredible odds and extraordinary monsters, an unlikely band of acquaintances-turned-friends, a disproportionate amount of bitching, and -- as is also traditional -- a sacrifice, in the end, for the greater good. This task done, Kastor now sets his sights on dealing with this bittersweet triumph, and making a new life for himself.
Desperately wishing to be a part of this new life is Kastor's son, Charis, who runs away from a cushy, if lonely, home life as a prince to find his exiled father. Born with his right arm and leg slightly smaller than his left -- a deformity blamed on Kastor's rumored demon blood -- Charis has been simultaneously coddled and ignored since birth. His handicap makes him unfit to rule by law, but Charis doesn't understand why it apparently makes him unfit to do anything. Stubborn, clever, and precocious, he is determined to prove he's more than handi-capable, and picks up tasks quickly once he's figured out the concept. Though sometimes unusually serious for his age, Charis is still, at heart, an eight year old boy who likes to show mouthfuls of half-chewed noodles to people, is prone to sudden mood changes and, above all, thinks his father is the coolest person in the entire world.
Note: Che Ghanhar means "law's teeth" in Kastor and Charis's native language, but is usually used as an emphatic curse.
Sample Post:
Hello there, I'm Charis, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm here looking for my father, my Da -- he's been gone a while, but people say he's been seen around here. I'm really surprised, actually, that he'd be in a place called see-food. I didn't think many grown-ups played that game! Hm, well, it does look a little dangerous and creepy around here, but I'm not worried about him; my Da's a great fighter and could take on anybody, or even a lot of people at once! Maybe even over nine thousand of them, if he had to. Well...well maybe I'm a little worried about him. Would you take me to him? He's really easy to recognize, so you'd know for sure if you've seen him. He looks like me, except he's tall, and does this with his eyebrows when he's angry, that's how you know he's about to do something really cool. Like this one time, he defeated two wyr, all by himself! Those are like dragons, you know, except smaller and meaner. And also, it's impossible to sneak up on him -- he has a charm against sleeping, so he doesn't have to. He just sits up all night and waits.
Why are you cringing? Ha! You're afraid! But don't worry, he's probably not angry at you for anything yet, and actually, he's really kind, so-- Oh. Oh. You're not cringing, are you? You're hurt. I'm really sorry! I didn't even notice at first! Here, sit down, we're going to do something about this. I watched Da do bandages once and even helped a little, so I'll try and help you, too-- no, just, just hold still, because if you squirm around you'll only, argh, che ghanhar you're a pain! This will work, unless you keep whining about how it's not going to! Hhf, okay, there. It's sort of messy, but I guess we can call it a wrap. Just don't put too much weight on it.
I hope you're still okay to walk, though, because I really need you to show me the way back to the village itself, so I can keep looking. ...Now what, are you crying? It can't hurt that badly! What do you mean, you can't go back in there? Why? ...That's not very fair of your wife at all, to kick you out just because you couldn't perform right. Are you a bard or something? Here, look -- even if you don't do it exactly the way she thinks you should be able to, I bet you can still do it if you just try! Listen, back home, nobody thought I could do anything. Mother wouldn't let me have a sword or a real horse or anything, and I couldn't go out alone and I always had to wear this dumb hat, and even then she never had any time for me because I was too slow, so I--
...You really shouldn't just interrupt other people's stories, because it's rude, okay? Since you're asking -- She's strict, but yes, my mother is a classy lady.
Poll Vote!
Character: Amamiya Usio
Series: Shinshi Doumei Cross
Age: 16
Canon: Welcome to Imperial Academy, an elite school that can brag of its stature, well-bred students, and avid participation in one Big Damn Soap Opera. Like all stories of true love, it starts with a good-hearted stalker, Otomiya Haine, and her attempts to win the heart of her mysterious but oh-so-handsome love interest, the student council president Tōgū Shizumasa. Of course, nothing is ever that simple in shoujo. But through sheer determination and spunk, Haine takes on the torrid love pentagon that is the student council, her own insecurities, and the shadowy entanglements of the past in a genuinely sweet and fun journey brimming with its due share of crack. Madness? This. . . is. . . Shinshi Doumei Cross!
Secretary of the obligatory dysfunctional student council, Haine's close friend, and living embodiment of the :| face, Amamiya Usio is known as "Lady Hydrangea" by her peers for her cool demeanor and chilling beauty. Always straight to the point and unwaveringly blunt despite her feminine appearance, she's as prone to quotation of proverbs or pseudo-poetic snippets of wisdom as she is a flat rejection or biting insult. But her simplicity in speech hides a surprisingly complicated mindset. For a long time she felt that the only person she needed was Haine and sought desperately to have her for herself, pushing everyone else away and dating half the academy in order to gain Haine's attention despite hating men. Only recently has she begun to open up to the rest of the Student Council and show her rare smile. But make no mistake; if less possessive, Usio's no less protective of our energetic heroine. If it's for Haine, Usio will do anyone anything.
Sample Post:
Just as the ripple born of a single raindrop will reach all shores of the great lake, such did rumors of Haine's disappearance with the president spread to the school newspaper. It burned well. As did the other fifty-four copies that arrived at the council office. But a fog cannot be dispelled by a fan, and the paper has no shortage of issues. They won't withdraw their claims without direct evidence; a thorough investigation of the circumstances behind it is required. And as they say, if you want something done well, you must do it yourself. I will be the one to do this-I will show the truth of the student council's involvement overseas. If it's for her, I don't mind if it's difficult. I will not allow them to tarnish her reputation for their own gain. For the sake of Haine's honor, and her pure heart. . . I will prove it beyond a doubt.
An introduction is in order.
Amamiya Usio, secretary of the Imperial Academy Student Council-the president and his bodyguard arrived earlier. My business is to evaluate your organization: the foreign exchange program based in Seefüd, Louisiana. "The Happiest Place on Earth," according to your brochure, and "an experience like none other, bound to leave you dying for more." It continues on, but it's all useless trash. I have seen nothing that would merit such enthusiasm so far. . . acclaim from over nine thousand visitors past and present makes no difference. Numbers alone cannot prove a point. The praise for a hands-on approach to better relations is also undeserved; fondling is not effective communication. Nor will a foreign tongue be better understood underneath a bough of mistletoe. Disgusting. Don't think you could conceal such obvious perversion from me.
Are you so certain that your director's intent is diplomacy? Make no mistake, I know the answer. I've done the research. And the records leave no doubt about it: hundreds of anonymous declarations of intent to join the community at all costs. A sudden flow of paperwork into its network once every month without fail. A review by a secret committee over seventy-two hours. Then the immediate-and significant-transfer of money into a privately owned Russian corporation once their work is done. All behind the backs of the people actually living there. In other words. . . a scam. One that can readily be exposed with the right phone call.
Deny it if you'd like, but the facts won't change. Instead of losing your heads trying to find an excuse, you'd do better to pluck them from the swamp and face the reality of things. The choice is yours. So. . . what will you do?
. . . "brains" is not an answer. Even decomposed, men are only interested in flesh. . . tch.
Poll Vote!
Character: Prussia / Gilbert Weillschmidt.
Series: Axis Powers: Hetalia!
Character's Age: Unknown but appears young.
Canon: The history of the world spans many centuries and the many lands and seas that cover the earth, which of course are then conquered and become nations. This is where Hetalia comes in, giving human identities to these nations of the world because it's obviously the best idea ever. The main plot of Hetalia occurs during the turbulent times of World War II and the not-so-heroic protagonists of this series, Italy, Germany, and Japan, do what they can to conquer the world! ... Or just try to survive while the dysfunctional Allied Nations work to stop them in their tracks!
In addition to the main storyline, there are other historic events shown in Hetalia's ever-growing canon. This is where the country -- Nay! The mighty and epic kingdom -- No! Empire of Prussia comes in! Prussia once spanned all of northeastern Europe, and in this comedic retelling of history, Prussia, aka Gilbert, is a loud, obnoxious, and ever full-of-himself nation who has a tendency to kick ass. He is willing to do anything to get a victory, and bribing other nations is not below him! Of course, every great nation has his weakness and Prussia is not without his, sometimes having his ass kicked in war and mostly by a certain nation who may or may not own frying pans. But make no mistake! Even though this nation no longer has his own territory and is so totally not sad and alone (except he really kind of is), Prussia will always remain one of the most capable nations out there! ... Even if he's a bit on the small side.
Sample Post:
AH HA! See? I found exactly where everyone disappeared to! And of course, it'd have to be in the middle of a godforsaken swamp. Just what the hell is this place supposed to be, anyway? It's not on any of the damn maps and -- oh for cryin' out loud, you'd think that idiot America would know his own country a little better! Just what the hell has he been up to for the past three hundred years of "expanding his borders"?
... Well, you toucans make a good point. If it's not on the map, that means it's free for grabs. Yeah, that would make sense, wouldn't it? What do you think, Toucan Family? Should I give the natives some warning before the invasion? Ah, this reminds me of the good old days! Only there's more goats and tentacles. Not that those are any different from a certain country's hands that liked to wander into people's vital regions... And there's a lack of voyeurs to ruin my plot! No, you don't count, bird. You're no where near the level of stalking necessary to thwart me, even with your psychic abilities.
So, this is how I'm thinking the letter will read. Ahem.
DEAR CAMP FUCK YOU DIE: YEAH, YOU'RE TECHNICALLY WITHIN AMERICA'S BORDERS AND I DON'T HAVE ANY TERRITORY AS IT STANDS, BUT I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I WILL MAKE THIS MEASLY LITTLE CAMP MINE. AND THUS, I WILL BRING ABOUT A NEW DAY: THE RETURN OF THE PRUSSIAN EMPIRE! ... and now I have a new way to stick it to Germany whenever he tries to kick me out of the house again. That's right! Everything here, from that marshmallow volcano to the radioactive lake, will be my home from now on! All to myself! After all, who needs fuckin' allies and the like when I have zombies and gorillas! It's not like I have to care about sharing anything now when I conquer this place -- not one bit! Those other bastards can keep their treaties and their neighbors and United Nations and global economy... and those bands they like...
W-what are you saying, Toucan? Lies! Lies and untruths that will never reach the light of day! I will make sure of it! You think you can make people believe I was crying like some sort of pussy colony? Think again! I have here in my hand, blackmail on you! That's right, I caught you kissing Santa Claus -- what the hell, that's not Santa, that's some sort of singing crab. ... Well, whatever! I still have the evidence and there's nothing you can do about it because this place is mine now, right? Therefore, you're my citizens! And what I say goes for you --
That doesn't mean you should sic the tentacle monster on me! You can go ahead and declare that your only sovereign is the Director, whoever the hell that is, but I will bring you all to your knees and have you beg for mercy for this act of rebellion! You think you know the meaning of the word "fucked"? HAH! I'll put the Fuck back in Camp Fuck You Die faster than you can say --
Oh God, get it away! Fucking tentacles!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character Name: Homura (aka Kagari)
Series: Sekirei
Age: 19-20
Canon: Sekirei is a stereotypical harem manga, with a no-good loser protagonist and gorgeous magical girls with impossibly large breasts-girls that are, for one reason or another, involved in an epic battle royale. Then there's Homura. Going by the name Kagari in the "real world," Homura is a soft-spoken and attractive ladies' man that is number one at a well-known host club. In actuality, however, he's one of the few male Sekireis, and at night, plays the role of guardian, wearing a mask and showing up to protect threatened Sekireis that haven't yet been "winged"-the "level up" that happens when a Sekirei finds his or her chosen master. Homura is incredibly dedicated to his cause, playing Tuxedo Mask alongside trying to lead a normal(ish) life, and often seems tired as a result; though that might just be the faint air of wry melancholy he carries with him at all times.
An unwinged Sekirei himself, Homura isn't nearly as well-adjusted as his mild-mannered smiles might lead people to believe. His power and gender are both unstable, leading to occasional fits of accidental self-immolation, as well as extreme pain and sensitivity. Not only is his body slowly breaking down, but he's also in the process of "feminization" from going unwinged so long and occasionally losing control over his powers-which is annoying, as well as painful, since being a host is a little awkward when you're growing breasts (and even more so as it's implied Kagari might have been offering "other services" to clients as well). Stubbornly prideful, easily embarrassed, and temperamental (to the point of spontaneously lighting people on fire if he gets flustered), Homura nonetheless has a dry sense of humour and isn't above laughing at himself-or others. He can be sharp-tongued and rather arrogant when riled, with a tendency to be condescending, though he tries to keep his impatience and bitterness clamped under a smile as Kagari. That aside, the differences between his dual identities are few and far between, which makes it all the more pathetic when people don't recognize him. Other Sekirei? Not always the brightest.
Note: Homura is being taken from late in the series where he has a little more control over his powers.
Sample Post:
I have to say, I've never been invited to a place quite like this before. Sayre-san certainly has pulled out all the stops for whatever effect she's attempting to go for . . . though I can't say I know what that is. Anyway, I'd appreciate assistance in actually finding my client. Hide-and-seek isn't a game I'm usually expected to play, if you get my meaning. Though Sayre-san certainly seems, ah, playful. The "supplies" I was given upon arrival included a length of rope, a wrench, and a candlestick, though I haven't got a clue as to why. The rope I can understand, but what a host expected to do in the bedroom with a wrench is beyond me.
Especially since . . . heh, is it true, the list of warnings and restrictions on the bulletin board, there? Mistletoe season, no sex . . . well, I suppose that one is something of a relief. Scrunchies, really? No tampons, no mixed-sex cabins . . .? Oh, you mean-oh, males and females in the same place . . . right, of course. What else could mixed sex mean? Really . . . w-well, I don't expect I'll have to stay in one, considering I'm just here to meet Sayre-san for the evening, and then I'll be gone, but-well, never mind. It definitely doesn't matter.
. . . or perhaps it does? Somehow I'm getting the impression that this camp isn't exactly what it's been advertised as. Something is definitely off-yes, yes, the shambling undead did tip me off, but after hosting hordes of overworked office ladies, you can't blame me for being a bit slow. So this is the sort of place that's easy to enter, but difficult to leave, hm? The advertisements for a "Trap Support Group" seem to imply that nobody here actually meant to come here on purpose, at the very least. Haah . . . how troublesome. But believe me, a support group won't be necessary-even if I've been drawn here just like the rest of you, I can handle this on my own, trap or no trap.
So, Sayre-san, will you come out and face me? Or are you like certain other despicable masterminds that like to hide behind their wealth and the products of their . . . hn, genius, from your elaborate schemes to your sorry excuse for-ugh, tentacles?! Are you really serious? No doubt about it, this place is vile. Have your monster unhand me immediately unless you like your calamari extra well done. I'm not joki-h-hey, stop, hey d-don't grab there-!
"It's for /d/" is it? Perverts, just show me where this "Dee" is. I'll burn him so badly he'll need to breathe through a series of tubes.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kanji Tatsumi
Series: Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4
Character Age: 16
Canon: Persona 4 is the heartwarming story of Souji Seta, a young man who moves to the quiet countryside town of Inaba for his second year of highschool. In his spare time, he hangs out with his friends, participates in club activities, works at part time jobs, and climbs through a TV with his friends to track down and stop a serial killer stalking his town. Yes, things are not quite as they seem in Inaba. Souji and his friends have the ability to summon Personas, their "true selves" revealed by facing their deepest secrets in order to enter a mysterious TV World where the murders are taking place.
Kanji Tatsumi is one of those friends. Originally a target of the murderer himself, he joins Souji after being rescued. Kanji is a legend in Inaba as a violent, angry biker gang leader, a reputation not entirely unearned even though his goal is to stop the biker gangs. However, Kanji is not quite the stereotypical gang leader Inaba would paint him as, despite his short temper and simple outlook on life. He prefers knitting and cute things to violence, and just wants to be accepted for his unique hobbies instead of being made fun of for being "unmanly." Of course, that doesn't mean he isn't ready, willing, and able to crack a few skulls when angered. It just means he's equally likely to be angered about the gang violence in his neighborhood as he is someone stealing his animal crackers.
Note: Temari are small, embroidered handballs.
Sample Post:
Heh. I wasn't really expecting this many of you...it's kinda embarrassing, all of you starin' at me like that. What are those, some kinda monkey costumes...? Well, whatever, right? Gotta suck it up!
Awright! Welcome to Temari Making 101! Guess I should introduce myself, huh? Name's Kanji. Alright, so, uh...Temari has a long history in Japan, but I ain't gonna bore you with that kinda shit. If you're here you either already know or you don't and it doesn't matter to you, right? I mean, why would you even sign up if you didn't want to learn to make art, right? Wha--? You play with a lot of balls in your line of work? The hell's that supposed to mean?
So let's just get started. First thing you need is the ball, obviously. I already have a bunch all prepared for you 'cause doing it yourself can take a long time if you're just starting out. Now, normally, I go for the bigger balls, myself, but since this is your first time, it's probably better to start with smaller ones. Just make sure it fits comfortably in the palm of your hand. Don't try to show off by taking balls bigger than you can handle, okay? It won't make you look cool. No one gives a shit who has the biggest balls.
Now we have to pick out our patterns. Here's mine, see? It's got that squid thing from the lake on it. This is kinda an advanced pattern, though. You should probably start out with flowers, since it'll be a lot easier. Or if you want to make it more homey, you could try and do one of those weird-ass trees around here. 'Course, if you really wanna do an advanced pattern, 's not like I can stop you or anything. Maybe you could try doing one of those little fuzzy things with the pompom on their head...I wonder if their fur's as soft as it looks... A-Anyway! Now you just gotta keep following the pattern and putting in pins where you need 'em and then connect 'em with a bit of string. Make sure you ain't using the same bit of string as anyone else. You don't wanna end up tying your balls together. After that it's just all makin' your balls look pretty. Now that that's done, you've got your very own balls you can show all your friends!
What can you do with 'em? Well, if you wrap them tight enough, you can play with them, like normal balls, but mostly they're just really pretty to look at. Wha--the hell you laughing at, punk!? There's nothing weird about a guy doin stuff like this! So what if you can't really play sports with 'em! What the...? What the hell do you think you're doing! If you keep throwing them around like that, it'll all come undone! It doesn't matter HOW tight you wrap them if you're gonna be bouncin' em around like that! Knock that shit off before I bust your balls!
Poll Vote!
Character: Estellise "Estelle" Sidos Heurassein
Series: Tales of Vesperia
Character Age: 18
Canon: Welcome to the world of Terca Lumireis; it's got everything! Beautiful scenery, beautiful towns, and monsters running rampant everywhere. Even though everything is fine and dandy to look at, not everything is as happy as it seems. Because the world is overrun with monsters, devices known as "Blastia" are used to protect cities from the monsters on the outside. Not only that but they can also be used to perform "artes," which is basically magic. The story starts out because of said blastia even, when one Yuri Lowell has to chase down a baddy who's stolen an aqua blastia from the downtown area of the capital its up to him to return it safely! And of course the Princess he just so happens to meet while escaping from prison at the castle can come too.
Estelle is the princess in question! She's someone who puts others before herself. If you're hurt she'll come to your side in a matter of seconds. But because she grew up sheltered in a castle she is extremely naive and can be rash about ideas or situations. She doesn't mean any harm when she quickly changes from wanting to do one thing to another, since she only wants to do what she hopes is good for everyone. She's a huge bookworm to boot and once she starts reading you can't pull her away. She is extremely polite when she speaks but knows when to speak her mind... or just be plain stubborn in general.
Sample Post:
Um... "Pedophile; one who is infected with pedophilia." and "Pedophilia" is... the interest in young children? While it is good to know that there are people who care for the young, that... doesn't sound quite right to me. Um, yes. This is what you wanted me to give the definition of, is it not? Forgive me if it isn't exactly correct, since it's the first time I've ever used such a word.
If I may ask, what it is the reason behind your inquiry of the definition? I understand that everyone wants to learn more as they progress in life. It's a part of nature after all. But I have never been asked by someone to give me a direct definition of a word. Your name is... mister Pedo Bear, if I'm not mistaken? What a nice name! You must be very proud of it! It does sound very familiar to pedophilia, though... Perhaps it's merely a coincidence. Oh, forgive me! I was getting lost in my own thoughts again, haha... Is there anything else you would like to ask of me? I'm willing to lend my services to you in anyway I could. I'm good with healing artes so if you're hurt, then I could help you! Oh, you did need some help? In that case, I would gladly lend my services to you! Ah, you want me to... follow you into a secluded area where we can talk more... privately? Where I can put my healing to good use? I guess that wouldn't be a problem but... I could just do it here if you would like? The surroundings don't really matter for me!
-- Ah, excuse me, but I must ask that you refrain from using your... hands in such a manner. It's very rude to touch a lady without her consent! I may have agreed to help you, but I think you misunderstood my reason behind it. ...sir, I don't think I quite understand your intentions. Have you...mistaken me for a... fourteen year old? I'll have you know that I am eighteen years of age and I do not appear to be that young! As a matter of fact, it's wrong to think of a child in such a way in the first place!
... Please stop trying to touch me... You may think I appear young but I will not refrain from using force if I must.
Poll Vote!
Character: Jona Matsuka
Series: Terra e...
Character Age: Looks to be 17
Canon: Humankind has left to colonize space when Terra (the Earth) is no longer inhabitable, aided by a system of super computers that regulates births, lives, and deaths. The SD System’s ultimate objective is to groom humans into a tier of elites capable of rehabilitating Terra in the future. Mu, humans who've mutated into a superpowered telepathic race, eventually emerges to rebel against the system. Those with Mu characteristics are routinely purged as not to threaten to the grand plan, but every once in a while, a small number manages to slips by the system check.
Matsuka is one of those who've managed to remain undetected. Quiet, meek, and sensitive, he lays low, in fear of being discovered, and also of his abilities which he doesn't understand. Being "abnormal" is his biggest conflict, leading to a life of anxiety and tension (and perhaps a not so mild existential crisis). By a twist of luck, he's chosen to serve Member Elite Keith Anyan, whose goal is to eradicate the Mu altogether. Matsuka serves Keith out of sheer terror and respect, yet his unwavering loyalty toward his commander keeps him clear headed and focused. When he’s not utilizing his powers for Keith’s sake, he makes coffee and keeps searching for that squishy commander center.
Sample Entry:
Would you terribly mind giving me back my gun? And my badge, too? T-The badge especially so. It shows that I’m in charge of training the newest unit of Terra Defense Agency. That would be you, cadets. I can’t demonstrate my authority if you’re playing catch with it.
I guess I can do without it for the time being, as long as you can tell that I’m trying to help you here. I understand you may find this exercise of no consequence, but humanity depends greatly on your willingness to serve your superiors to the best of your abilities. There are people out there who’ve entrusted their lives into your cold, if capable hands, and your time and effort will be a small sacrifice for the goods of others.
The commander trusts me to measure your mental and physical response, even if the former seems a little bit… different, but I’m sure you’ll be able to make up for it! I can feel no overpowering anxiety coming off you, which should be good. I think. As members of the Agency, you should be prepared to fend off psychological attacks and mental manipulation. They come in all forms and shapes, from holiday plants that bend your reason and will to mind reading birds. N-Not that it’s the birds’ fault, or that they can help what they are, but people should be shielded from that!
I’ve been informed of a concentration of threats in this area, and while the barrier keeps them in place, we have to consider the rest of the populace who have to deal with them. There’s the small issue of administering ESP checks on you, but it seems that none of you physically possess brains… I suppose that’s why the commander is so right in choosing you to be this camp’s first anti-psychic defense squad. But if you can be useful in any small way to the cause, then I’m willing to do all that I can to help you!
Now according to the commander’s list of instructions, the best way to start your training is to charge right into it. You’ll have to show me your dedicate spirit in tackling things head-on, even if they’re-y-you’re not supposed to charge at me! Your target is all the way over there! I don’t think this training is working very well…
Or maybe I can just teach you how to make coffee.
Poll Vote!
Name: Charis
Series:The Forge of Dawn/The Road Home, by Jessi Hajicek
Age: Eight
Canon: Once upon a time, Kastor Auberlane helped save the world. He did this in the traditional manner involving a long, dangerous quest, incredible odds and extraordinary monsters, an unlikely band of acquaintances-turned-friends, a disproportionate amount of bitching, and -- as is also traditional -- a sacrifice, in the end, for the greater good. This task done, Kastor now sets his sights on dealing with this bittersweet triumph, and making a new life for himself.
Desperately wishing to be a part of this new life is Kastor's son, Charis, who runs away from a cushy, if lonely, home life as a prince to find his exiled father. Born with his right arm and leg slightly smaller than his left -- a deformity blamed on Kastor's rumored demon blood -- Charis has been simultaneously coddled and ignored since birth. His handicap makes him unfit to rule by law, but Charis doesn't understand why it apparently makes him unfit to do anything. Stubborn, clever, and precocious, he is determined to prove he's more than handi-capable, and picks up tasks quickly once he's figured out the concept. Though sometimes unusually serious for his age, Charis is still, at heart, an eight year old boy who likes to show mouthfuls of half-chewed noodles to people, is prone to sudden mood changes and, above all, thinks his father is the coolest person in the entire world.
Note: Che Ghanhar means "law's teeth" in Kastor and Charis's native language, but is usually used as an emphatic curse.
Sample Post:
Hello there, I'm Charis, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm here looking for my father, my Da -- he's been gone a while, but people say he's been seen around here. I'm really surprised, actually, that he'd be in a place called see-food. I didn't think many grown-ups played that game! Hm, well, it does look a little dangerous and creepy around here, but I'm not worried about him; my Da's a great fighter and could take on anybody, or even a lot of people at once! Maybe even over nine thousand of them, if he had to. Well...well maybe I'm a little worried about him. Would you take me to him? He's really easy to recognize, so you'd know for sure if you've seen him. He looks like me, except he's tall, and does this with his eyebrows when he's angry, that's how you know he's about to do something really cool. Like this one time, he defeated two wyr, all by himself! Those are like dragons, you know, except smaller and meaner. And also, it's impossible to sneak up on him -- he has a charm against sleeping, so he doesn't have to. He just sits up all night and waits.
Why are you cringing? Ha! You're afraid! But don't worry, he's probably not angry at you for anything yet, and actually, he's really kind, so-- Oh. Oh. You're not cringing, are you? You're hurt. I'm really sorry! I didn't even notice at first! Here, sit down, we're going to do something about this. I watched Da do bandages once and even helped a little, so I'll try and help you, too-- no, just, just hold still, because if you squirm around you'll only, argh, che ghanhar you're a pain! This will work, unless you keep whining about how it's not going to! Hhf, okay, there. It's sort of messy, but I guess we can call it a wrap. Just don't put too much weight on it.
I hope you're still okay to walk, though, because I really need you to show me the way back to the village itself, so I can keep looking. ...Now what, are you crying? It can't hurt that badly! What do you mean, you can't go back in there? Why? ...That's not very fair of your wife at all, to kick you out just because you couldn't perform right. Are you a bard or something? Here, look -- even if you don't do it exactly the way she thinks you should be able to, I bet you can still do it if you just try! Listen, back home, nobody thought I could do anything. Mother wouldn't let me have a sword or a real horse or anything, and I couldn't go out alone and I always had to wear this dumb hat, and even then she never had any time for me because I was too slow, so I--
...You really shouldn't just interrupt other people's stories, because it's rude, okay? Since you're asking -- She's strict, but yes, my mother is a classy lady.
Poll Vote!
Character: Amamiya Usio
Series: Shinshi Doumei Cross
Age: 16
Canon: Welcome to Imperial Academy, an elite school that can brag of its stature, well-bred students, and avid participation in one Big Damn Soap Opera. Like all stories of true love, it starts with a good-hearted stalker, Otomiya Haine, and her attempts to win the heart of her mysterious but oh-so-handsome love interest, the student council president Tōgū Shizumasa. Of course, nothing is ever that simple in shoujo. But through sheer determination and spunk, Haine takes on the torrid love pentagon that is the student council, her own insecurities, and the shadowy entanglements of the past in a genuinely sweet and fun journey brimming with its due share of crack. Madness? This. . . is. . . Shinshi Doumei Cross!
Secretary of the obligatory dysfunctional student council, Haine's close friend, and living embodiment of the :| face, Amamiya Usio is known as "Lady Hydrangea" by her peers for her cool demeanor and chilling beauty. Always straight to the point and unwaveringly blunt despite her feminine appearance, she's as prone to quotation of proverbs or pseudo-poetic snippets of wisdom as she is a flat rejection or biting insult. But her simplicity in speech hides a surprisingly complicated mindset. For a long time she felt that the only person she needed was Haine and sought desperately to have her for herself, pushing everyone else away and dating half the academy in order to gain Haine's attention despite hating men. Only recently has she begun to open up to the rest of the Student Council and show her rare smile. But make no mistake; if less possessive, Usio's no less protective of our energetic heroine. If it's for Haine, Usio will do anyone anything.
Sample Post:
Just as the ripple born of a single raindrop will reach all shores of the great lake, such did rumors of Haine's disappearance with the president spread to the school newspaper. It burned well. As did the other fifty-four copies that arrived at the council office. But a fog cannot be dispelled by a fan, and the paper has no shortage of issues. They won't withdraw their claims without direct evidence; a thorough investigation of the circumstances behind it is required. And as they say, if you want something done well, you must do it yourself. I will be the one to do this-I will show the truth of the student council's involvement overseas. If it's for her, I don't mind if it's difficult. I will not allow them to tarnish her reputation for their own gain. For the sake of Haine's honor, and her pure heart. . . I will prove it beyond a doubt.
An introduction is in order.
Amamiya Usio, secretary of the Imperial Academy Student Council-the president and his bodyguard arrived earlier. My business is to evaluate your organization: the foreign exchange program based in Seefüd, Louisiana. "The Happiest Place on Earth," according to your brochure, and "an experience like none other, bound to leave you dying for more." It continues on, but it's all useless trash. I have seen nothing that would merit such enthusiasm so far. . . acclaim from over nine thousand visitors past and present makes no difference. Numbers alone cannot prove a point. The praise for a hands-on approach to better relations is also undeserved; fondling is not effective communication. Nor will a foreign tongue be better understood underneath a bough of mistletoe. Disgusting. Don't think you could conceal such obvious perversion from me.
Are you so certain that your director's intent is diplomacy? Make no mistake, I know the answer. I've done the research. And the records leave no doubt about it: hundreds of anonymous declarations of intent to join the community at all costs. A sudden flow of paperwork into its network once every month without fail. A review by a secret committee over seventy-two hours. Then the immediate-and significant-transfer of money into a privately owned Russian corporation once their work is done. All behind the backs of the people actually living there. In other words. . . a scam. One that can readily be exposed with the right phone call.
Deny it if you'd like, but the facts won't change. Instead of losing your heads trying to find an excuse, you'd do better to pluck them from the swamp and face the reality of things. The choice is yours. So. . . what will you do?
. . . "brains" is not an answer. Even decomposed, men are only interested in flesh. . . tch.
Poll Vote!
Character: Prussia / Gilbert Weillschmidt.
Series: Axis Powers: Hetalia!
Character's Age: Unknown but appears young.
Canon: The history of the world spans many centuries and the many lands and seas that cover the earth, which of course are then conquered and become nations. This is where Hetalia comes in, giving human identities to these nations of the world because it's obviously the best idea ever. The main plot of Hetalia occurs during the turbulent times of World War II and the not-so-heroic protagonists of this series, Italy, Germany, and Japan, do what they can to conquer the world! ... Or just try to survive while the dysfunctional Allied Nations work to stop them in their tracks!
In addition to the main storyline, there are other historic events shown in Hetalia's ever-growing canon. This is where the country -- Nay! The mighty and epic kingdom -- No! Empire of Prussia comes in! Prussia once spanned all of northeastern Europe, and in this comedic retelling of history, Prussia, aka Gilbert, is a loud, obnoxious, and ever full-of-himself nation who has a tendency to kick ass. He is willing to do anything to get a victory, and bribing other nations is not below him! Of course, every great nation has his weakness and Prussia is not without his, sometimes having his ass kicked in war and mostly by a certain nation who may or may not own frying pans. But make no mistake! Even though this nation no longer has his own territory and is so totally not sad and alone (except he really kind of is), Prussia will always remain one of the most capable nations out there! ... Even if he's a bit on the small side.
Sample Post:
AH HA! See? I found exactly where everyone disappeared to! And of course, it'd have to be in the middle of a godforsaken swamp. Just what the hell is this place supposed to be, anyway? It's not on any of the damn maps and -- oh for cryin' out loud, you'd think that idiot America would know his own country a little better! Just what the hell has he been up to for the past three hundred years of "expanding his borders"?
... Well, you toucans make a good point. If it's not on the map, that means it's free for grabs. Yeah, that would make sense, wouldn't it? What do you think, Toucan Family? Should I give the natives some warning before the invasion? Ah, this reminds me of the good old days! Only there's more goats and tentacles. Not that those are any different from a certain country's hands that liked to wander into people's vital regions... And there's a lack of voyeurs to ruin my plot! No, you don't count, bird. You're no where near the level of stalking necessary to thwart me, even with your psychic abilities.
So, this is how I'm thinking the letter will read. Ahem.
DEAR CAMP FUCK YOU DIE: YEAH, YOU'RE TECHNICALLY WITHIN AMERICA'S BORDERS AND I DON'T HAVE ANY TERRITORY AS IT STANDS, BUT I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I WILL MAKE THIS MEASLY LITTLE CAMP MINE. AND THUS, I WILL BRING ABOUT A NEW DAY: THE RETURN OF THE PRUSSIAN EMPIRE! ... and now I have a new way to stick it to Germany whenever he tries to kick me out of the house again. That's right! Everything here, from that marshmallow volcano to the radioactive lake, will be my home from now on! All to myself! After all, who needs fuckin' allies and the like when I have zombies and gorillas! It's not like I have to care about sharing anything now when I conquer this place -- not one bit! Those other bastards can keep their treaties and their neighbors and United Nations and global economy... and those bands they like...
W-what are you saying, Toucan? Lies! Lies and untruths that will never reach the light of day! I will make sure of it! You think you can make people believe I was crying like some sort of pussy colony? Think again! I have here in my hand, blackmail on you! That's right, I caught you kissing Santa Claus -- what the hell, that's not Santa, that's some sort of singing crab. ... Well, whatever! I still have the evidence and there's nothing you can do about it because this place is mine now, right? Therefore, you're my citizens! And what I say goes for you --
That doesn't mean you should sic the tentacle monster on me! You can go ahead and declare that your only sovereign is the Director, whoever the hell that is, but I will bring you all to your knees and have you beg for mercy for this act of rebellion! You think you know the meaning of the word "fucked"? HAH! I'll put the Fuck back in Camp Fuck You Die faster than you can say --
Oh God, get it away! Fucking tentacles!
Poll Vote!