(no subject)
Juri's round is still open! So if you're popping in and haven't voted on her batch yet, it's here! You go guys!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED!
Character Name: Shaymin
Series: Pocket Monsters: Giratina and the Sky Warrior
Character Age: Unknown. Is a tiny hedgehog critter.
Canon: What do you get when you mix a hedgehog, two angry deities, and a mad scientist intent on getting the powers of one of said deities in order to gain access to another dimension reflected in mirrors? Why, you get the latest Pokémon movie, of course! Ash and friends embark on a escort mission to help the Pokémon, Shaymin, who accidentally gets involved in the whole mess.
Shaymin is known as the "Gratitude Pokémon" and is a small hedgehog-like Pokemon with flowers sprouting on its body. Sounds adorable, right? Wrong! The Shaymin the twerps encounter is anything BUT grateful or cute. Able to communicate telepathically, Shaymin proves to be one of the bossiest and egotistical Pokémon ever. It orders everyone around and enlists Ash and Co. as its personal escorts. It is blunt, insulting, and at times downright mean (telling Ash that it rides on his head so he too can suffer if something attacks it). It tells everyone it meets "Be grateful to me!" even if it has done nothing to earn thanks or is the cause of a problem. Despite its ego, Shaymin is easily frightened, especially of being eaten, and secretly thankful to all that help it. In the end, all it wants is to go home and frolic in a field of flowers :(
Note: Shaymin sometimes refers to its home (the Flower Field) simply as 'there' or 'that place', and 'Mei' is a nonsensical noise parroting its name, as all Pokémon do.
Sample Post
Meeei, that was so scary! That stupid bird really wanted to eat me! It dropped me from the sky just to soften me up! Mei? No, it didn't do that because I was annoying. It wanted to gobble me up and deflower me! What are you complaining for anyway? You should be grateful to me, I only landed on your head; it's not like you were using it. Say braaaains all you want, I can tell you're just some smelly idiot. I didn't ask for your opinion anyway.
Meeei? I'm not blue, and I don't have an attitude. You're dumb AND confused! Your friends aren't much better, they're just as slow and keep falling apart. Silly tricks like that won't impress me; taking off your leg isn't neat, it's creepy. Anyway, you broke my fall, so you have to help me. Hey, quit showing off and listen to me! You can't carry me if you don't have an arm!
Good. Now, stop being useless and take me back home. Where? There. I want to go back to that place--mei?! There isn't on any kind of doll! You really are stupid, aren't you? I live in a beautiful field of flowers, much prettier than anything you've ever seen. Eh, love flowers? Of course I love flowers, are you even listening to me? No, I don't want to see your love flower. Nothing you could show me would impress me, and the flowers here are too strange. Meeei, like that one! Flowers shouldn't have scary teeth! If you let it eat me, I'll take you down with me!
Now, stop stalling and let's go! The Flower Field is that way, I know it. The last time I was lost we followed a river, so that's what we'll do now! Even though the water isn't very clear, the green is almost pretty. Take me closer to it! Mei? You think it's a bad idea? Hmph, you hardly think at all! Now stop whining and get moving. And don't worry, if anything splashes out, it'll get you first, not me.
See, you should be grateful to me. As long as I'm with you, you don't need any brains at all!
Poll Vote!
Character: Near
Series: Death Note (manga)
Age: 18
Canon: (Warning! Contains mild spoilers for Death Note)
What would you do if you could kill anyone just by writing down their name in a special notebook? If you were Yagami Light you would use this otherworldly power to pick off criminals in order to become the god of a new perfect world. But it's never that easy. People everywhere take notice of these mysterious deaths and it doesn't take long for L, the world's greatest detective, to challenge Light's power. The two end up in a deadly game of subterfuge and tricks though sadly, in the end Light proves too much for L. The challenge of stopping the mysterious killings then falls to Near and Mello, orphans trained to take over in L's place.
Near is a quirky genius; childish and yet endlessly logical and analytical. Growing up an orphan preparing to be the world's best detective doesn't leave a lot of time for social development. He takes on the most challenging cases as a way to show his intelligence and skill rather than out of some higher sense of right and wrong. Cold and often insulting to people, he cares more about winning than anything else. In fact he often sees people around him as just pieces in his puzzles. Near does his best thinking while playing with toys and games all while wearing pajamas, despite his age.
Note: Near uses the title "L" to address the public.
Sample Post:
Attention, people of Camp Fuck You Die: this is L.
Your director has called me in to solve the murder of Stephan Debussey. It should be noted that I normally have no interest in such a simple case. It is insulting to think that the greatest detective in the world would be needed to find the culprit of a single murder, even considering the unique circumstances as of this camp. But, because the situation has become so entangled that suspects are being held for months and even years at a time, it seems you may be in need of my services after all. I am willing to give my full attention to this case as long as I am allowed to do so on my own terms. From now on, I will be in charge of this investigation.
In order to investigate properly, however, I am in need of some assistance. I cannot seriously be expected to do the amount of detective work required to solve this case by myself. The "help" I was provided when I arrived here turned out to be a couple of reanimated corpses. They would not have been trustworthy collecting evidence considering they didn't even prove useful at manual labor. One of them could not keep his arms attached long enough to move boxes for me. You may have seen the other one up a tree, where he has been since I asked him to hang surveillance equipment for me. I'm sorry if that causes anyone trouble. But obviously, I will be requiring some new help if I am to investigate properly. Anyone with an interest in seeing justice served will be welcome after a customary background check and routine cavity search.
Along with a few competent subordinates I will require some better supplies. My aforementioned useless assistants brought me a totally unacceptable assortment of goods. One box seemed to be full of nothing but assorted make up items; and another with magazines claiming to have the latest intelligence on some city in Montana. If any young woman in camp is missing the contents of her bedroom, please let me know. I'm not sure what 'body glitter' is exactly, but I am certain I don't need it. Most of these things will not be of help to me unless I need to summon the cast of whatever "High School Musical" is for questioning.
The only remotely helpful things I found in the box were these so called "Bratz" figures. But they will only come in handy if it turns out my suspects have unnaturally large heads.
Poll Vote!
Character's Name: Naomi-chan
Series: Kamen Rider Den-O
Character's age: Appears to be 20 or 21 years old
Canon: The Evil Imajin are wrecking the timeline and messing with everyone's memories! So, who will stop them from putting the future in greater peril? Why, Kamen Rider Den-O, of course! Our grand hero and his good Imajin friends team up to protect the flow of time by using the time train Den-Liner to get to where and when they are needed. But even the strongest warrior must sometimes sit and restore his energy with a hearty cup of coffee.
Enter Naomi-chan, the spunky crew member of Den-Liner. She is commonly found in the dining car, serving meals to passengers and brewing various different types of coffee. Some of her brew are considered to be very unusual (she once put wasabi into her coffee), but they are always topped by colorful whipped creams, and are especially enjoyed by the good Imajin. Naomi-chan herself may seem a little ditzy from time to time, but she always keeps an upbeat attitude about most things. The usual craziness and arguing between Den-Liner's more notable passengers doesn't bother her much--unless their fighting and/or rough-housing nearly derails the train. But she truly enjoys their company and is very dedicated to doing her job well.
Sample Post:
Oh, you poor thing! Buried up to your neck in snow and left to fend for yourself in this horrible weather... No wonder you're begging me to save you! Here, let me dig you out...and there! You're free! Ahhh, you're so cute, with your little wings and that adorable little pom-pom on your head! How can anyone leave such a cutie like you out here shivering in the middle of winter? Well, don't worry--from now on, Naomi-chan will take good care of you! Just leave it up to me--umm... I'm not sure if this is the right weather to be writing anything in your book--ohhh, you're writing my name so you would remember me! That's very sweet of you! But I don't think I know your name yet...Kupopo? It's nice to meet you, Kupopo-san! Well, then, shall we go inside and get warmed up?
Ahhh, it's so nice and warm here! This is the main dining hall, right? I thought so; it certainly looks like it, right? Well, sit right here by the fire here in the kitchen, Kupopo-san, and I'll make us some nice, hot coffee! Coffee is very good for you. It keeps you awake when you need to be, and you can make so many flavors of it. Like this brew I'm making right now: I'm making a javanilla brew with some nutmeg, cocoa powder, and these little white berries from this little plant right here. Oh, don't worry; I've brewed coffee with berries before, and everyone who drank it says that it tasted just fine! But I have to be careful about red peppers; it actually made one of my friends fall asleep. Isn't it strange, how pepper could make one sleepy? Of course, he was very angry when he woke up, since it was another friend who told me to put some red peppers into his coffee, and they got into a horrible fight over it and they nearly derailed the train. And of course, Owner-san wasn't too happy about them fighting on the train... But my point is that I have to watch what I put in some people's coffee, since I have to make sure that it really is okay for them to drink it, instead of just making sure that it tastes good.
Ah, the coffee's done! Let me pour some for the two of us, and I'll put some whipped cream on it! Now, what do we have--ohhhh, just white! There's no blue or red or any other color! Hmph! Well, I suppose we'll just have to have this "winter" whipped cream, then. Is that alright with you, Kupopo-san? Alright...and here you go! Mmmm...it's delicious, isn't it? Especially with the berries adding a nice aroma to--eh? What's happening? Why am I scooting closer to you? W-What do you mean, the berries are making us move closer together? ...Mistletoe? The plant the white berries came from is called "m--MMMMPH!!!
E-e-eeeeehhh?! We...we just kissed! I can't believe we just kissed! And I only just met you, Kupopo-san! Ahhh, how horrible~!
Poll Vote!
Character name: Zim
Series: Invader Zim
Character age: ~16 Irk years, but can pass as a schoolchild
Canon: Oh no, the Earth is under attack! A galactic alien empire is expanding their territory, and they want to conquer our planet. So they've sent the single most destructive force in their army: the Irken Invader... ZIM! Now cower, you foolish human stink-beasts, cower before the might and power of an elite Irken soldier!
Or at least, that's what Zim believes. Actually, Zim was sent to Earth to stay out of the Empire's way while it kickstarted Operation Impending Doom II (aforementioned galactic domination), because he almost destroyed his home planet when he participated in Operation Impending Doom I. A crazy, egotistical, megalomaniac, tiny buglike Irken, Zim completely ignores what anyone says in favor of his own, generally skewed version of reality. He's also prone to building large, complicated technology and using them to blow up whatever's in the vicinity - himself, his secret base, his robot slave Gir, part of the city, and sometimes - sometimes - his arch-nemesis Dib, the only person on the show who sees Zim for what he really is. Although easily distracted by the smallest slights, Zim is intent on his "mission": infiltrating the human race. And if he does it by screaming, insulting, and laughing maniacally... well, no one notices, anyway.
Note: The Voot Cruiser is Zim's small spaceship. It is weak to bees.
Sample post:
What? NO! The Voot Cruiser crashed again, and I'm too far away from my base to repair it! I might have to -- eurgh, eurgh, no! I can't just ASK the humans for help. They'd see it immediately! WAIT! Not unless I cleverly disguise it with some... kind of... clever disguise! GIR! Turn the Voot Cruiser into a taco weenie stand. They'll never suspect a thing. I AM INGEEEENIOUS!
Gir?
Eh, he must have wandered off somewhere. Not to worry. I AM ZIIIIM! I can handle anything that might come up. Nothing these filthy, stinking Earth pig-beasts can think of will compare with my amazing brain. It will be easy to fool them, easy to take whatever I need and go back to my secret base and THINK OF MY NEXT EEEEVIL PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WO-- UH, I MEAN, TAKE A VACATION! YES! Take a vacation because I am a normal human wormbaby who goes to a normal human school and DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME NEXT TIME, smelly human who smells of filth! You're disgusting!
-- WAIT! Don't leave me! Take me back to your base so I can steal NO borrow something to fix my - my video game system! Video games are a normal human pastime. Oh, we're walking that way? --That's it! I will introduce a new, mind-controlling game to this HORRIBLE place and with it I will uncover all their secrets. THEY CANNOT HIDE FROM ZIM! Soon I will have everything I need to fix the Cruiser and get out of here and back to my mission! I'll only have to figure out a way to make the technology SIMPLE enough for their feeble human brains to understand. A-HAHAHAHAHAHA! Now, YOU! Forget everything you've heard! If you tell anyone, I'll feed you to a chicken.
Ah, there's the rest of the stink-meats now. HELLO EVERYONE, DON'T BE ALARMED! I AM NOT HERE TO TAKE OVER YOUR FILTHY HUMAN BRAINMEATS, I AM ONLY-- hey, wait a minute. You're ZOMBIES! That explains the stink. No - no! Stay away! Don't come any closer! No - what are you doing?! I don't need your smelly organs! I already have some of my very own! I just have a skin condition. Keep your dirt-infested ears to yourself, disgusting, smelly bag of stink! Put me down!
... What is that? No, not the potato suit - NOT THE POTATO SUIIIIIIIIT!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Fuyumine Naoto
Series: Dogs: Bullets and Carnage
Character Age: Unknown, but presumed to be in her late teens.
Canon: Set in a dystopian future with genetic engineering and ruthless mafiosos skipping hand-in-hand, Dogs is mostly the story of heterosexual lifemates surviving and thriving. Haine Rammsteiner and Badou Nails are seeking the way to the dangerous "underground," both for their own reasons. If this means that they must take down mafia families, psychotic twins, and the dangerous remnants of their pasts, then so be it. No matter the things they uncover (and the fights they get into) they know that they can be supported by numerous people who share the same goal, including Fuyumine Naoto.
Fuyumine Naoto is a lean mean fighting teen. Her past, her name, her sword, and the scar across her chest are all shrouded in uncertainties and secrets. She was raised by the man she believed responsible for killing her parents and taking her past, and spent her childhood training to kill him. But before she could do so, he was killed by someone else, leaving her with his sword... and a million questions. To try and find her past, she's seeking to enter the underground, the only lead she has. Due to way she was raised and the way she's going, she can be awkward around people and doesn't act like the lady she looks like. She's detached and quiet, remaining distantly polite to people... until they piss her off (or in Nill's case, endure her to them). While she's more than able to hold her own in a fight, she can find everyday things, such as a wearing cute frilly dresses, more difficult.
Sample Post:
Can you help me? I'm looking for a couple of men.
... no, specific ones. Um. Perhaps you've seen them; one has long orange hair and an eye patch and the other has white hair and glares a lot. They've been missing lately, and it looks like I have to go after them. Again. If they start running, please don't try to follow. I won't inflict that kind of encounter on you, and I won't be responsible for any injuries or property damage they'll undoubtedly cause. Usually I would just follow the trail of destruction they leave behind, but there's piles and piles of it here. Still, it's somewhat unsurprising.
My name is Naoto. My... sources told me that the people here will have the answers to some of my questions. That they would know quite a bit about breaking walls, and if that's a way to enter the underground, I'll take it. Especially if I don't have those two to stay around and blow out paths for me. I've asked around already and all I've heard is "'/R/' is that way" and "not your personal mafia". I'm being serious here! No one is helping, and I swear, that if anyone else tells me to lurk more, I'll have to use my own special tactics.
... no, not that kind of tactics. Even if I'm a woman, I'm not that kind. Though a few of you don't have eyes, that's no excuse for making that kind of assumption. I don't want to inflict harm on someone so harmless and armless, but you leave me with little choice. ... it's like they have something in common with Haine. Is this some kind of premonition? ... still, if you'd just tell me what I need to know, I'll just go about my business to the next guy. Yes, this is a sword, but I'm not going to be happy to see you, unless you could be just a little more help. What is with you? At this point, it'd be better for the both of us if you just left me alone.
I really thought that coming here would help a bit. Finding those two idiots aside, I'd heard such good things about the search system here. But I still don't know what a google is, and after getting results for things I was thinking... I'm not sure I want to know. And what's with these ads? Do they always stand around and listen to someone think? This is a little embarrassing...
If you're still here, maybe you can point me in the direction of someone more helpful. Apparently, I'm getting desperate enough that I'm willing to hang around unhinged men, and this time it's literal. I've never heard of engineering that lets you do that. Between you and the horrible looking ape-men, I'm beginning to wonder what exactly people are starting to do here-- if they would go so far. The people from... 'home' are much more polite, and they don't look so much like animals. Nor are they such a vivid shade of purple.
Okay, this won't be too bad... let's get down to business. The "entrance"-- you and your friends can show me the way in. After all, you've all gotten in there before, right?
Poll Vote!
Character: Aang.
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Age: 12.
Canon: Avatar: The Last Airbender is the Nickolodean Network's charming cartoon tale of a Kung Fu Action Jesus/Buddha reuniting a world at war with friendship, love, and ~*fantastic elemental magic powers*~. ATLA chronicles the adventures of Aang, the current incarnation of the world's super-powered Avatar, as he and his growing group of friends and element benders struggle to take down the evil doers of the Fire Nation to put a stop to their hundred-year war with the rest of the world.
In accordance with the show's great Asian influences, protagonist Aang does live up to the fandom moniker KUNG-FU ACTION JESUS~! with his adorable mini-monk personality. Despite the great pressure of being the Avatar and pretty much being responsible for both the current state of the world and fixing it back up, Aang continues to be a kind, generous, fun-loving and hilariously dorky little kid. He makes friends with everyone... even the temperamental emo kid from the Fire Nation that was supposed to be in charge of capturing him. 8D (Hi, Zuko!)
Entering into the third season, the Gaang is now training almost exclusively in the Fire Nation itself, LAND OF THEIR ENEMES~! timestreambending means that I'm taking Aang before Sozin's Comet, which means he and the Gaang are still blending into the Fire Nation's populace and so Aang is keeping his identity as the Avatar a secret. Fortunately, he at least knows how to control all four elements now, including fire. :|b
Sample:
You know, everyone, even if I'm still lost in some woods in the Fire Nation without my friends, things aren't as bad as they could be. I can't believe there was a summer camp hidden away like this! I'm glad I was able to find you guys, I don't think I could have kept wandering around in the dark like I was with all those really spooky sounds going on. Must be my lucky day to have found my good fellow hotmen!
Yeah, I still think I'm pretty lucky even if the cabin we found already had something living in it, Braaaaaiagh. That's okay. If they wanted it that badly, then maybe that family of purple monkey-bears just needed it more than we did. Camping outside isn't that bad at all, even for people that are sick, like you. Me and my friends do it all the time. After traveling all over the world like we have, I definitely know a thing or two about roughing it. As long as we stick close to the fire, everyone will keep warm! You know, that fire that I made, since I'm a real firebender. Not some fake who's just claiming he's from the Fire Nation colonies, ha ha ha! Wouldn't that be REALLY silly? Ha ha! Ha... Yeah, that was smooth.
... um. Anyway, if no one wants to sleep yet, we could think of a way to pass the time! You know, keep ourselves happily occupied so the night flies by until it's light enough for me to search for my friends, and then have someone heal you enough so we can find your way back to your camp. Since it's been a really, really, really long time since I last visited, I don't think I'd exactly know anymore what you guys do for fun around he-- huh? Shotgun? No, Mr. Ughkk, just regular fun.
Hey! Everyone loves singing, right! What about a campfire song? Some traveling musicians I met in the Earth KiiiiI mean, some friends from the Fire colonies wrote me and my friends this special song. It's okay if you don't know the words the first time around, just try and follow along as best as you can. Ready?
I love the swamplands
I love good vegan pies
I love great friendships
I love when bison fly
I love the whole world
and all four nations,
bend-de-ya-da, bend-de-ya-da, bend-de-- hey, where's everyone going? I was just about to break out some marshmeadow pods for -- no, Graggh! You don't roast THAT --
-- okay, you can roast it, but. Uh. I'm a vegetarian, so I can't really eat... whatever you just pulled off. Sorry?
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED!
Character Name: Shaymin
Series: Pocket Monsters: Giratina and the Sky Warrior
Character Age: Unknown. Is a tiny hedgehog critter.
Canon: What do you get when you mix a hedgehog, two angry deities, and a mad scientist intent on getting the powers of one of said deities in order to gain access to another dimension reflected in mirrors? Why, you get the latest Pokémon movie, of course! Ash and friends embark on a escort mission to help the Pokémon, Shaymin, who accidentally gets involved in the whole mess.
Shaymin is known as the "Gratitude Pokémon" and is a small hedgehog-like Pokemon with flowers sprouting on its body. Sounds adorable, right? Wrong! The Shaymin the twerps encounter is anything BUT grateful or cute. Able to communicate telepathically, Shaymin proves to be one of the bossiest and egotistical Pokémon ever. It orders everyone around and enlists Ash and Co. as its personal escorts. It is blunt, insulting, and at times downright mean (telling Ash that it rides on his head so he too can suffer if something attacks it). It tells everyone it meets "Be grateful to me!" even if it has done nothing to earn thanks or is the cause of a problem. Despite its ego, Shaymin is easily frightened, especially of being eaten, and secretly thankful to all that help it. In the end, all it wants is to go home and frolic in a field of flowers :(
Note: Shaymin sometimes refers to its home (the Flower Field) simply as 'there' or 'that place', and 'Mei' is a nonsensical noise parroting its name, as all Pokémon do.
Sample Post
Meeei, that was so scary! That stupid bird really wanted to eat me! It dropped me from the sky just to soften me up! Mei? No, it didn't do that because I was annoying. It wanted to gobble me up and deflower me! What are you complaining for anyway? You should be grateful to me, I only landed on your head; it's not like you were using it. Say braaaains all you want, I can tell you're just some smelly idiot. I didn't ask for your opinion anyway.
Meeei? I'm not blue, and I don't have an attitude. You're dumb AND confused! Your friends aren't much better, they're just as slow and keep falling apart. Silly tricks like that won't impress me; taking off your leg isn't neat, it's creepy. Anyway, you broke my fall, so you have to help me. Hey, quit showing off and listen to me! You can't carry me if you don't have an arm!
Good. Now, stop being useless and take me back home. Where? There. I want to go back to that place--mei?! There isn't on any kind of doll! You really are stupid, aren't you? I live in a beautiful field of flowers, much prettier than anything you've ever seen. Eh, love flowers? Of course I love flowers, are you even listening to me? No, I don't want to see your love flower. Nothing you could show me would impress me, and the flowers here are too strange. Meeei, like that one! Flowers shouldn't have scary teeth! If you let it eat me, I'll take you down with me!
Now, stop stalling and let's go! The Flower Field is that way, I know it. The last time I was lost we followed a river, so that's what we'll do now! Even though the water isn't very clear, the green is almost pretty. Take me closer to it! Mei? You think it's a bad idea? Hmph, you hardly think at all! Now stop whining and get moving. And don't worry, if anything splashes out, it'll get you first, not me.
See, you should be grateful to me. As long as I'm with you, you don't need any brains at all!
Poll Vote!
Character: Near
Series: Death Note (manga)
Age: 18
Canon: (Warning! Contains mild spoilers for Death Note)
What would you do if you could kill anyone just by writing down their name in a special notebook? If you were Yagami Light you would use this otherworldly power to pick off criminals in order to become the god of a new perfect world. But it's never that easy. People everywhere take notice of these mysterious deaths and it doesn't take long for L, the world's greatest detective, to challenge Light's power. The two end up in a deadly game of subterfuge and tricks though sadly, in the end Light proves too much for L. The challenge of stopping the mysterious killings then falls to Near and Mello, orphans trained to take over in L's place.
Near is a quirky genius; childish and yet endlessly logical and analytical. Growing up an orphan preparing to be the world's best detective doesn't leave a lot of time for social development. He takes on the most challenging cases as a way to show his intelligence and skill rather than out of some higher sense of right and wrong. Cold and often insulting to people, he cares more about winning than anything else. In fact he often sees people around him as just pieces in his puzzles. Near does his best thinking while playing with toys and games all while wearing pajamas, despite his age.
Note: Near uses the title "L" to address the public.
Sample Post:
Attention, people of Camp Fuck You Die: this is L.
Your director has called me in to solve the murder of Stephan Debussey. It should be noted that I normally have no interest in such a simple case. It is insulting to think that the greatest detective in the world would be needed to find the culprit of a single murder, even considering the unique circumstances as of this camp. But, because the situation has become so entangled that suspects are being held for months and even years at a time, it seems you may be in need of my services after all. I am willing to give my full attention to this case as long as I am allowed to do so on my own terms. From now on, I will be in charge of this investigation.
In order to investigate properly, however, I am in need of some assistance. I cannot seriously be expected to do the amount of detective work required to solve this case by myself. The "help" I was provided when I arrived here turned out to be a couple of reanimated corpses. They would not have been trustworthy collecting evidence considering they didn't even prove useful at manual labor. One of them could not keep his arms attached long enough to move boxes for me. You may have seen the other one up a tree, where he has been since I asked him to hang surveillance equipment for me. I'm sorry if that causes anyone trouble. But obviously, I will be requiring some new help if I am to investigate properly. Anyone with an interest in seeing justice served will be welcome after a customary background check and routine cavity search.
Along with a few competent subordinates I will require some better supplies. My aforementioned useless assistants brought me a totally unacceptable assortment of goods. One box seemed to be full of nothing but assorted make up items; and another with magazines claiming to have the latest intelligence on some city in Montana. If any young woman in camp is missing the contents of her bedroom, please let me know. I'm not sure what 'body glitter' is exactly, but I am certain I don't need it. Most of these things will not be of help to me unless I need to summon the cast of whatever "High School Musical" is for questioning.
The only remotely helpful things I found in the box were these so called "Bratz" figures. But they will only come in handy if it turns out my suspects have unnaturally large heads.
Poll Vote!
Character's Name: Naomi-chan
Series: Kamen Rider Den-O
Character's age: Appears to be 20 or 21 years old
Canon: The Evil Imajin are wrecking the timeline and messing with everyone's memories! So, who will stop them from putting the future in greater peril? Why, Kamen Rider Den-O, of course! Our grand hero and his good Imajin friends team up to protect the flow of time by using the time train Den-Liner to get to where and when they are needed. But even the strongest warrior must sometimes sit and restore his energy with a hearty cup of coffee.
Enter Naomi-chan, the spunky crew member of Den-Liner. She is commonly found in the dining car, serving meals to passengers and brewing various different types of coffee. Some of her brew are considered to be very unusual (she once put wasabi into her coffee), but they are always topped by colorful whipped creams, and are especially enjoyed by the good Imajin. Naomi-chan herself may seem a little ditzy from time to time, but she always keeps an upbeat attitude about most things. The usual craziness and arguing between Den-Liner's more notable passengers doesn't bother her much--unless their fighting and/or rough-housing nearly derails the train. But she truly enjoys their company and is very dedicated to doing her job well.
Sample Post:
Oh, you poor thing! Buried up to your neck in snow and left to fend for yourself in this horrible weather... No wonder you're begging me to save you! Here, let me dig you out...and there! You're free! Ahhh, you're so cute, with your little wings and that adorable little pom-pom on your head! How can anyone leave such a cutie like you out here shivering in the middle of winter? Well, don't worry--from now on, Naomi-chan will take good care of you! Just leave it up to me--umm... I'm not sure if this is the right weather to be writing anything in your book--ohhh, you're writing my name so you would remember me! That's very sweet of you! But I don't think I know your name yet...Kupopo? It's nice to meet you, Kupopo-san! Well, then, shall we go inside and get warmed up?
Ahhh, it's so nice and warm here! This is the main dining hall, right? I thought so; it certainly looks like it, right? Well, sit right here by the fire here in the kitchen, Kupopo-san, and I'll make us some nice, hot coffee! Coffee is very good for you. It keeps you awake when you need to be, and you can make so many flavors of it. Like this brew I'm making right now: I'm making a javanilla brew with some nutmeg, cocoa powder, and these little white berries from this little plant right here. Oh, don't worry; I've brewed coffee with berries before, and everyone who drank it says that it tasted just fine! But I have to be careful about red peppers; it actually made one of my friends fall asleep. Isn't it strange, how pepper could make one sleepy? Of course, he was very angry when he woke up, since it was another friend who told me to put some red peppers into his coffee, and they got into a horrible fight over it and they nearly derailed the train. And of course, Owner-san wasn't too happy about them fighting on the train... But my point is that I have to watch what I put in some people's coffee, since I have to make sure that it really is okay for them to drink it, instead of just making sure that it tastes good.
Ah, the coffee's done! Let me pour some for the two of us, and I'll put some whipped cream on it! Now, what do we have--ohhhh, just white! There's no blue or red or any other color! Hmph! Well, I suppose we'll just have to have this "winter" whipped cream, then. Is that alright with you, Kupopo-san? Alright...and here you go! Mmmm...it's delicious, isn't it? Especially with the berries adding a nice aroma to--eh? What's happening? Why am I scooting closer to you? W-What do you mean, the berries are making us move closer together? ...Mistletoe? The plant the white berries came from is called "m--MMMMPH!!!
E-e-eeeeehhh?! We...we just kissed! I can't believe we just kissed! And I only just met you, Kupopo-san! Ahhh, how horrible~!
Poll Vote!
Character name: Zim
Series: Invader Zim
Character age: ~16 Irk years, but can pass as a schoolchild
Canon: Oh no, the Earth is under attack! A galactic alien empire is expanding their territory, and they want to conquer our planet. So they've sent the single most destructive force in their army: the Irken Invader... ZIM! Now cower, you foolish human stink-beasts, cower before the might and power of an elite Irken soldier!
Or at least, that's what Zim believes. Actually, Zim was sent to Earth to stay out of the Empire's way while it kickstarted Operation Impending Doom II (aforementioned galactic domination), because he almost destroyed his home planet when he participated in Operation Impending Doom I. A crazy, egotistical, megalomaniac, tiny buglike Irken, Zim completely ignores what anyone says in favor of his own, generally skewed version of reality. He's also prone to building large, complicated technology and using them to blow up whatever's in the vicinity - himself, his secret base, his robot slave Gir, part of the city, and sometimes - sometimes - his arch-nemesis Dib, the only person on the show who sees Zim for what he really is. Although easily distracted by the smallest slights, Zim is intent on his "mission": infiltrating the human race. And if he does it by screaming, insulting, and laughing maniacally... well, no one notices, anyway.
Note: The Voot Cruiser is Zim's small spaceship. It is weak to bees.
Sample post:
What? NO! The Voot Cruiser crashed again, and I'm too far away from my base to repair it! I might have to -- eurgh, eurgh, no! I can't just ASK the humans for help. They'd see it immediately! WAIT! Not unless I cleverly disguise it with some... kind of... clever disguise! GIR! Turn the Voot Cruiser into a taco weenie stand. They'll never suspect a thing. I AM INGEEEENIOUS!
Gir?
Eh, he must have wandered off somewhere. Not to worry. I AM ZIIIIM! I can handle anything that might come up. Nothing these filthy, stinking Earth pig-beasts can think of will compare with my amazing brain. It will be easy to fool them, easy to take whatever I need and go back to my secret base and THINK OF MY NEXT EEEEVIL PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WO-- UH, I MEAN, TAKE A VACATION! YES! Take a vacation because I am a normal human wormbaby who goes to a normal human school and DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME NEXT TIME, smelly human who smells of filth! You're disgusting!
-- WAIT! Don't leave me! Take me back to your base so I can steal NO borrow something to fix my - my video game system! Video games are a normal human pastime. Oh, we're walking that way? --That's it! I will introduce a new, mind-controlling game to this HORRIBLE place and with it I will uncover all their secrets. THEY CANNOT HIDE FROM ZIM! Soon I will have everything I need to fix the Cruiser and get out of here and back to my mission! I'll only have to figure out a way to make the technology SIMPLE enough for their feeble human brains to understand. A-HAHAHAHAHAHA! Now, YOU! Forget everything you've heard! If you tell anyone, I'll feed you to a chicken.
Ah, there's the rest of the stink-meats now. HELLO EVERYONE, DON'T BE ALARMED! I AM NOT HERE TO TAKE OVER YOUR FILTHY HUMAN BRAINMEATS, I AM ONLY-- hey, wait a minute. You're ZOMBIES! That explains the stink. No - no! Stay away! Don't come any closer! No - what are you doing?! I don't need your smelly organs! I already have some of my very own! I just have a skin condition. Keep your dirt-infested ears to yourself, disgusting, smelly bag of stink! Put me down!
... What is that? No, not the potato suit - NOT THE POTATO SUIIIIIIIIT!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Fuyumine Naoto
Series: Dogs: Bullets and Carnage
Character Age: Unknown, but presumed to be in her late teens.
Canon: Set in a dystopian future with genetic engineering and ruthless mafiosos skipping hand-in-hand, Dogs is mostly the story of heterosexual lifemates surviving and thriving. Haine Rammsteiner and Badou Nails are seeking the way to the dangerous "underground," both for their own reasons. If this means that they must take down mafia families, psychotic twins, and the dangerous remnants of their pasts, then so be it. No matter the things they uncover (and the fights they get into) they know that they can be supported by numerous people who share the same goal, including Fuyumine Naoto.
Fuyumine Naoto is a lean mean fighting teen. Her past, her name, her sword, and the scar across her chest are all shrouded in uncertainties and secrets. She was raised by the man she believed responsible for killing her parents and taking her past, and spent her childhood training to kill him. But before she could do so, he was killed by someone else, leaving her with his sword... and a million questions. To try and find her past, she's seeking to enter the underground, the only lead she has. Due to way she was raised and the way she's going, she can be awkward around people and doesn't act like the lady she looks like. She's detached and quiet, remaining distantly polite to people... until they piss her off (or in Nill's case, endure her to them). While she's more than able to hold her own in a fight, she can find everyday things, such as a wearing cute frilly dresses, more difficult.
Sample Post:
Can you help me? I'm looking for a couple of men.
... no, specific ones. Um. Perhaps you've seen them; one has long orange hair and an eye patch and the other has white hair and glares a lot. They've been missing lately, and it looks like I have to go after them. Again. If they start running, please don't try to follow. I won't inflict that kind of encounter on you, and I won't be responsible for any injuries or property damage they'll undoubtedly cause. Usually I would just follow the trail of destruction they leave behind, but there's piles and piles of it here. Still, it's somewhat unsurprising.
My name is Naoto. My... sources told me that the people here will have the answers to some of my questions. That they would know quite a bit about breaking walls, and if that's a way to enter the underground, I'll take it. Especially if I don't have those two to stay around and blow out paths for me. I've asked around already and all I've heard is "'/R/' is that way" and "not your personal mafia". I'm being serious here! No one is helping, and I swear, that if anyone else tells me to lurk more, I'll have to use my own special tactics.
... no, not that kind of tactics. Even if I'm a woman, I'm not that kind. Though a few of you don't have eyes, that's no excuse for making that kind of assumption. I don't want to inflict harm on someone so harmless and armless, but you leave me with little choice. ... it's like they have something in common with Haine. Is this some kind of premonition? ... still, if you'd just tell me what I need to know, I'll just go about my business to the next guy. Yes, this is a sword, but I'm not going to be happy to see you, unless you could be just a little more help. What is with you? At this point, it'd be better for the both of us if you just left me alone.
I really thought that coming here would help a bit. Finding those two idiots aside, I'd heard such good things about the search system here. But I still don't know what a google is, and after getting results for things I was thinking... I'm not sure I want to know. And what's with these ads? Do they always stand around and listen to someone think? This is a little embarrassing...
If you're still here, maybe you can point me in the direction of someone more helpful. Apparently, I'm getting desperate enough that I'm willing to hang around unhinged men, and this time it's literal. I've never heard of engineering that lets you do that. Between you and the horrible looking ape-men, I'm beginning to wonder what exactly people are starting to do here-- if they would go so far. The people from... 'home' are much more polite, and they don't look so much like animals. Nor are they such a vivid shade of purple.
Okay, this won't be too bad... let's get down to business. The "entrance"-- you and your friends can show me the way in. After all, you've all gotten in there before, right?
Poll Vote!
Character: Aang.
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Age: 12.
Canon: Avatar: The Last Airbender is the Nickolodean Network's charming cartoon tale of a Kung Fu Action Jesus/Buddha reuniting a world at war with friendship, love, and ~*fantastic elemental magic powers*~. ATLA chronicles the adventures of Aang, the current incarnation of the world's super-powered Avatar, as he and his growing group of friends and element benders struggle to take down the evil doers of the Fire Nation to put a stop to their hundred-year war with the rest of the world.
In accordance with the show's great Asian influences, protagonist Aang does live up to the fandom moniker KUNG-FU ACTION JESUS~! with his adorable mini-monk personality. Despite the great pressure of being the Avatar and pretty much being responsible for both the current state of the world and fixing it back up, Aang continues to be a kind, generous, fun-loving and hilariously dorky little kid. He makes friends with everyone... even the temperamental emo kid from the Fire Nation that was supposed to be in charge of capturing him. 8D (Hi, Zuko!)
Entering into the third season, the Gaang is now training almost exclusively in the Fire Nation itself, LAND OF THEIR ENEMES~! timestreambending means that I'm taking Aang before Sozin's Comet, which means he and the Gaang are still blending into the Fire Nation's populace and so Aang is keeping his identity as the Avatar a secret. Fortunately, he at least knows how to control all four elements now, including fire. :|b
Sample:
You know, everyone, even if I'm still lost in some woods in the Fire Nation without my friends, things aren't as bad as they could be. I can't believe there was a summer camp hidden away like this! I'm glad I was able to find you guys, I don't think I could have kept wandering around in the dark like I was with all those really spooky sounds going on. Must be my lucky day to have found my good fellow hotmen!
Yeah, I still think I'm pretty lucky even if the cabin we found already had something living in it, Braaaaaiagh. That's okay. If they wanted it that badly, then maybe that family of purple monkey-bears just needed it more than we did. Camping outside isn't that bad at all, even for people that are sick, like you. Me and my friends do it all the time. After traveling all over the world like we have, I definitely know a thing or two about roughing it. As long as we stick close to the fire, everyone will keep warm! You know, that fire that I made, since I'm a real firebender. Not some fake who's just claiming he's from the Fire Nation colonies, ha ha ha! Wouldn't that be REALLY silly? Ha ha! Ha... Yeah, that was smooth.
... um. Anyway, if no one wants to sleep yet, we could think of a way to pass the time! You know, keep ourselves happily occupied so the night flies by until it's light enough for me to search for my friends, and then have someone heal you enough so we can find your way back to your camp. Since it's been a really, really, really long time since I last visited, I don't think I'd exactly know anymore what you guys do for fun around he-- huh? Shotgun? No, Mr. Ughkk, just regular fun.
Hey! Everyone loves singing, right! What about a campfire song? Some traveling musicians I met in the Earth KiiiiI mean, some friends from the Fire colonies wrote me and my friends this special song. It's okay if you don't know the words the first time around, just try and follow along as best as you can. Ready?
I love the swamplands
I love good vegan pies
I love great friendships
I love when bison fly
I love the whole world
and all four nations,
bend-de-ya-da, bend-de-ya-da, bend-de-- hey, where's everyone going? I was just about to break out some marshmeadow pods for -- no, Graggh! You don't roast THAT --
-- okay, you can roast it, but. Uh. I'm a vegetarian, so I can't really eat... whatever you just pulled off. Sorry?
Poll Vote!