(no subject)
Third round yayz |D
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Veronica Mars
Series: Veronica Mars
Character Age: 19
Canon: Murder! Rape! Buses falling off of cliffs! These are regular occurrences in Neptune, California. A sunny, quiet exterior carefully hides a raging class war - towing the line between the two sides is Veronica Mars, the tiniest private investigator. Holding lingering ties to both sides of the conflict and searching continually for answers to the important questions, which range from "who killed my best friend?" to "is my ex-boyfriend my brother?", Veronica uses every trick in the book to find the truth and serve justice to those people who deserve it, even if it puts her in harm's way.
Veronica stands by her convictions no matter what, even though it makes her a public enemy. Jaded from the routine circumstances of her life, Veronica finds it hard to trust people, even if they are meant to be close to her. Read: her boyfriends, the poor souls. Clinical, articulate and extremely clever, not to mention a hip fast talker, Veronica has a variety of talents which she uses to find exactly where the truth is hiding. Her sassy, sarcastic exterior, meanwhile, doesn't always do much to hide her more selfish and angry side; sometimes using people as tools, Veronica believes that the truth is more important than people's feelings - even her own. But under that, she does have a particularly squishy inside.
Sample Post:
Right. So it's not my style to do these little study-aid summaries, but I figure with the look of you guys you're going to need all the help you can get to understand. Let's start with the basics! My name is Veronica Mars, and I am really pissed off. So I bet you're wondering, just why would a nice girl like me be so darn irritated? Let's cut to the chase. I'm a private investigator - it's official, see the badge? - and I was hired by my client here, a guy that I like to call Terrence Toucan, to clear up a matter that seems to have been bothering him awfully. You see, on a dark night in the bleak midwinter - and you couldn't make this stuff up, people - Terrence Toucan saw one of you guys accosting - no, assaulting - a young girl.
Now, Terrence's delicate sensibilities were dumbfounded by what he saw. But he couldn't go to the police! There's not a fully-functional police department 'round these parts - and Terrence is a toucan. It doesn't matter if he's read Nietzche, people. He's still a bird. Like us blondes, the toucans are continually looked down on for their lack of intellect. But! That didn't stop Terrence from seeking justice, folks. He came straight to me. Now, let's forget Terrence for a moment and pay attention to you guys - because that's what I've been doing for the last few days, trust me. See, the issue is with finding out what happened here is that you all look a bit similar. I mean, sure, Tiny over there has muscles like a rhino's, and Bruiser has a lovely tutu, but it's difficult for a girl to tell you all apart in the dark, you know?
But that isn't the problem. It's when I was staking you guys out that I ran into my main qualm. It's a little hard to find a culprit when you're all guilty of the same crime. Well, I can't accuse you of discrimination - girls, boys, lions, tigers, and bears, oh my, did you get a good grope in. But doesn't that just seem odd to you? You're creatures that are pretty indigenous to this place. Now, Terrence here has also been here at 'Camp Fuck You Die' for a while, and yet he neglected to tell poor little me, totally new to this place, that inappropriate touching is just you guys' gig - a gig which I do not condone, let me add. In fact, a gig which I hate, and if I see any of you at it again you will be meeting my good friend Mr. Taser - but that's not the point I'm making right now. This is Terrence's moment, and he's the star! Because I have in my pocket a tape of our friend Terrence, delicate Terrence, Terrence who cares about the boys and girls of this Camp, 'encouraging' Tiny over there to grab someone and "take them to Marcy", which is one of the most bizarre euphemisms for rape that I have ever heard. So, all that's left to do is dispense a little punishment. But the police can't touch Terrence, am I right? Tweet tweet. So I guess it's up to me to think of a better punishment for Terrence for wasting my time.
Okay! You're dismissed, show's over. If you're looking for a repeat performance ... I'm sure I'll be here for a while. Try the fried toucan, I hear it's delicious.
Poll Vote!
Character: Yuna
Series: Final Fantasy X-2
Age: 19
Canon (minor spoilers ahead): In Final Fantasy X, a young Summoner named Yuna and her guardians saved the world from the recurring threat of the great "monster," Sin. In Final Fantasy X-2, two years have passed, and one day the former High Summoner is shown a sphere (a kind of recording) of a man who looks an awful lot like Tidus-the hero of the first game-who faded away at the end of it. Yuna loved Tidus (and still does), so she joins her cousin Rikku's group of "sphere hunters"-The Gullwings-in the hope of finding him alive somewhere. After retrieving Yuna's Garment Grid (an invention that harnesses the power of "dresspheres," which are similar to a job/class system), which was stolen by another sphere hunter in order to impersonate Yuna, The Gullwings continue their journey in their airship all over Spira. As they begin to learn more about this sphere that may depict Tidus, they become entangled in another conflict as they learn of Vegnagun, a giant weapon from a thousand years ago that could destroy the whole world if it ended up in the wrong hands. Unfortunately for them, by that time it already is in the wrong hands.
With the weight of the world no longer on her shoulders, Yuna seems like a whole new person in some ways. Once a very serious girl who sought to keep any negative emotions to herself, she is now a free spirit, alive when she never thought she would be. As a gunner, she's ditched her traditional attire for some hotpants and a couple of pistols. She is much more open about her emotions than she was in the first game, and has become more playful and outspoken like Rikku. Despite this, deep down she is very much the same Yuna as before-she's still driven, kind-hearted, and utterly unable to refuse any call for help, no matter the cost.
Sample Post:
You know, up until a few hours ago, I didn't think things could possibly get any stranger than they already were. But if I've learned anything in the past few years, it's that things aren't always how they appear. Come to think of it, this doesn't look like any place in Spira that I've ever seen. It's almost like this isn't even the same world. I wonder... if this is how he felt when he first arrived in Spira. Even the wildlife is strange! This bird has been staring at me since I got here. It's a very beautiful bird, but I don't know what it wants from me. When it squawks, it sounds like it's saying "fruit loops." What is that supposed to mean? Here, let me see if I can record it!
...Oh, I hope no one minds that I've borrowed this sphere to record over. I checked it out, and it looked like an old recording of someone's birthday party. I feel a little bad, but I really have to document this-I'll try to make it up to this "Marcy" person later, somehow. After all, I have no idea where I am or how I got here, so maybe this is a place that's never been documented before! This could make for one heck of a sphere!
Anyway, my Garment Grid's been stolen again. Fortunately, this place seems to be enclosed by some kind of magic barrier, so it shouldn't be too hard to catch the culprit. Not only that, but the locals seem to be... well, you probably won't believe me, but they look like zombies! I know it sounds crazy, but they're definitely Unsent, and they don't look very good. Oddly enough, a lot of them don't even seem hostile. There are a few of them not far from here just sitting around playing cards. I've never seen anything like it! But that also means it was probably a zombie that stole my Grid... which means that somewhere, there's a Zombie Yuna wandering around. It's a little unsettling to think about! I don't know if I really want to know what I'd look like as a zombie...
Other than that, the spheres here don't seem very valuable. They really don't appear to have anything to do with Spira at all. The first one I found was a recording of a man in strange clothing, dancing around and singing an upbeat love song. It was kind of sweet, but nothing to get excited about. Another one featured another strange man, pleading his audience to "leave Britney alone." Does that mean anything to any of you? What about "Chocolate Rain?" If not, I'm afraid this place is a dud as far as spheres go. Whoever this "You Tube" person is, he records some weird spheres!
Well, I wish my fellow Gullwings were here with me, but I know you'll find me soon enough. Until then, I'm going to try and hunt down my Garment Grid on my own. Whoever this impostor zombie is, I'm sure I can take them on! Hey, do you hear that, thief? I don't want to have to resort to violence, so just give me back my Grid, because I've got some Phoenix Down with me and I know what that does to people like you! Geez, why do people like to pretend to be someone else so much, anyway? here with me, but I know you'll find me soon enough. Until then, I'm going to try and hunt down my Garment Grid on my own. Whoever this impostor zombie is, I'm sure I can take them on! Hey, do you hear that, thief? I don't want to have to resort to violence, so just give me back my Grid, because I've got some Phoenix Down with me and I know what that does to people like you! Geez, why do people like to pretend to be someone else so much, anyway?
Poll Vote!
Character: Hige
Series: Wolf's Rain
Character Age: Appears about 19
Canon: Wolf's Rain is a pre-apocalyptic series with a twist: in an ailing world wrought with political strife and a climate crisis, humanity's last hope for salvation rests in the legend of Paradise, a realm which, with the aid of the Flower Maiden, only wolves can find. Unbeknownst to the world that believes wolves are long extinct, wolves take on the appearance of humans in order to survive in human societies. Four such wolves discover the Flower Maiden and begin their journey in search of Paradise, eluding persecutors, braving treacherous conditions and fighting crazed noblemen along the way.
Hige is an easy-going and slightly heavy-set beta wolf who follows along more out of intrigue than of belief in Paradise. Street-wise and rather opportunistic, he places worldly pleasures and tangible concerns above moral principles, always making sure to fill his stomach and take the time to chase a few skirts when he can (even though he often fails to impress). When packmates are in danger, however, his carefree attitude gives way to fierce loyalty and courage, and his acute sense of smell has more than once helped the pack out of a pinch.
Sample post:
Stray off the beaten path, Kiba said. Run the hidden pine trails of the forest, and if I walk the footsteps of a stranger I'll learn things I never knew. Well I sure learned a lot today! Like not to chase after the white bunnies because in this part of the world, bunny bites you. And not to take the cakes lying next those mean-looking trees, because food doesn't just sit there harmlessly waiting for you to stumble across it in a forest full of man-eating woodland creatures. Man if I knew this place would turn out to be like the Forest of Death I would've stayed on the main path with that girl. At least she was cute.
What? It's a trap? Are you talking about the pretty girl in the red parka? Because I know about that already. Thanks fish-face-- oh I'm sorry, Admiral Fish-face, but you might wanna work on warning people in advance. It's more helpful that way. Y'see, I already got a tip-off from the toucans that the path she pointed me down was full of rickrolls, and though I'm not sure what exactly a rickroll is, I can tell it's something bad from the way they exchanged disgusted looks. Though now I'm not sure if that's worse than getting lost in these woods. Huh? What do you mean, it's not that kind of trap? What other kind is there? She's the trap? Okay now you're just not making any sense.
Look, it's a campsite! Sure it's a bit cold right now for a summer camp, but it seems pretty lively. You've got some old, sick-looking guys over there playing football, and a couple of kids splashing around in the lake with Nessie. Huh, never knew Nessie was a squid. But where's the barbecue? All I can smell so far is old mustard and... is that formaldehyde? Let's see, we've also got paint thinner, sulfur, curdled milk... and someone had too much beans and cheese for breakfast. Aauugh.
Alright, I wasn't expecting fine dining, but c'mon. I'd even take the arm that fell off of that guy, if only it wasn't like a decade past the expiration date. Four-week rule, tops. Wait, what is that next to him... a leg of lamb? He must've dropped it on the way to the grill! Haha I knew this place would be worth my while! Don't mind if I help myse-- whoa, hey! What the hell is this?! Hey, let me out! ...A note? "Thank you for signing up. You're a bit late to the party, but you're free to stay for the next round. Until then, the furries will keep you company." What does all this mean? Did they get Kiba and the other guys too? Dammit, I gotta get us outta here!
...Yes, admiral, it's a trap. I can see that. Now will you help me out of this cage? I'm getting a bad feeling about the gorillas coming this way.
Poll Vote!
Character: Blue
Series: Wolf's Rain
Character Age: Appears around 20 when in human form
Canon: It is said that when the world is nearing its end a Paradise will appear, but only wolves will be able to reach it. Following the scent of lunar flowers, a pack of four wolves decide to embark on a magical, angst-ridden journey towards this promised land. But they're not alone! A flower maiden, psychotic politicians, and assorted fail humans are with them on their quest; or more like chasing after them in the case of one Quent Yaiden: perpetually drunk wolf-hunter.
Blue is Quent's pet dog who only recently found she has some wolf in her too. Since she was raised as a dog, Blue holds a deep love for humans and firmly believes in the principle of making herself useful to them. Though at the same time, this conflicts with her fierce wolf nature, resulting in Deep Existential Angst that she fights by putting on a strong (even if sometimes sarcastic) front. She knows that she might not be able to go to Paradise, since she's not a pure wolf, but this doesn't stop her from trying. Til the bitter end she always tries her best to protect her loved ones, remaining hopeful that a better tomorrow will come for everyone.
Note: Like the rest of her fellow wolves, Blue can speak to and understand other animals.
Sample Post:
Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out this isn't the Paradise I'm looking for. The stench of death, the trees growing all sorts of strange-looking fruits, the way everyone goes "iyaaaaan" instead of "ah-wooooo" when howling at the moon. I don't mean to judge your local customs or anything, but have you ever stopped to think that maybe this isn't the way things are supposed to be?
Is it something in the water? Or maybe the pollen in the air...? Whatever it is we need to figure out a way to save both animals and humans from it. The people especially seem to be far off worse than anyone else here -- just take a look at them. How they won't stop wailing and how it's so hard for them to even walk around. Not to mention shedding isn't supposed to be painful. Or... leave whole limbs behind. Ah, please wait, Mister, I'll get your arm back to you!
Though I used to be the same until recently, going with the flow without being aware of the truth behind things. So I know it can be hard; for example, when you've lived all of your life as a normal toucan and one day you realize that maybe all those thoughts you keep hearing in your mind about wanting to eat rotten flesh aren't your own, but other people's. And that you could change their feeding habits -- the whole course of their lives with that ability. That you could be so much more...
Hah, but I'm getting sidetracked now, sorry. What I wanted to say is, would you like to come with us to Paradise? I'm still not sure other animals will be allowed in it, but it's definitely worth a shot, don't you think? And please don't tell me I'm barking up the wrong tree, I'm sure everyone here would rather try to have a better life than remaining in a place that doesn't even have lunar flowers or beefy bones -- I mean, proper food. Because even if I've never seen it, I can feel that anything is possible there.
... What? Well, I'm not really sure what that means, but I don't see why "yiffing" wouldn't be allowed in Paradise...
Poll Vote!
Character: Chrno
Series: Chrno Crusade (manga)
Character Age: Looks to be 12, is really much older
Canon: Ah, New York, the Roaring Twenties! The war was over, life was good, and demons were trying to kill people-okay, that part’s not so good. In the year 1924, demons occasionally break into the human world and wreak havoc. Opposing the demons is the Magdalan Order, dedicated to exorcising and otherwise dealing with the supernatural threat. The heroes of our story are Rosette Christopher, an exorcist-nun from the order, and her demon assistant, Chrno. Together they beat up demons, occasionally beat up each other, and continue their quest to save Rosette’s brother.
Where Rosette is the hard-headed and brash one of the pair, Chrno prefers to be more reasonable and polite… and exasperated. It’s Chrno who’ll advocate actually having a plan first before charging in guns blazing, or trying to find a less dangerous alternative. Chrno’s demeanor is often pleasant and kind, only dipping into yelling and grumbling when the situation becomes ridiculous. However, Chrno is a demon, who is bound and sealed by a contract with Rosette. His past is a mystery, and under his cheerful attitude lies a tragic story. But for the most part, you wouldn’t know it. He spends far too much time supporting Rosette from a few steps behind, through thick, thin, and the odd moment of property destruction.
Sample Post:
It’s really unusual for the Order to insist I go alone on a mission. They know I’m just an assistant to Rosette as far as rank goes, but I guess when the mission requires “the utmost stealth”... well, maybe I can understand why they didn’t send Rosette. She still hasn’t paid off the damages from the last car. Still, I didn’t know the Order had a branch in Louisiana, much less in a swamp. I’ve been looking all over and I still haven’t found it. It’s enough to give me a sinking feeling, not to mention how many times I stumbled into a bog. The one shack I found with the cross looked promising, but I don’t think “The Church of Splatter-Day Saints” is what they meant. I hope.
But if there was ever a place for an Order outpost, this would be it. I’ve seen people try to use demons to revive the dead before, yet what’s happening here is just... bizarre. The bodies are dead, all right, except they’re still moving, even with rotten limbs. I feel a bit sorry for them... caught between life and death like this, clinging to what remains of their humanity. E-even if they’re clinging to bits of other people’s humanity. I’m not sure if it’s just demons behind all this. It’s suspicious enough already and not the work of your average Necromancer, but that person who handed me the information sheet and... most of his hand makes me think all of this is planned out by the Director here. Why else would it promote “The Night of the Living Zombie Strippers: coming your way 28 days later!” without trying to cover up what they’re doing… or how shameless it is? It’s not just the corpses, either. Even the squirrels were insistent on giving them to me, once I convinced them that going up my pants was not the way to give out promotional material. Is common decency too much to ask for? I-I mean... how embarrassing.
All of the strange animals here have reminded me of something... maybe they’re trying to make another of those arks. If that’s true, this could be more serious than I thought. A flood would devastate the parts of this place that aren’t already a lake or swampy. Not a large area, but one that’s still populated by people and animals. I’ve seen pairs of most things, doing things that, er, do need two animals for, and the sign for “Seamen’s Surprise” at the Mess Hall could be related to water. I just don’t know why there would be such an over supply of gorillas. I guess they could be helpers, since some of them are holding other animals... there’s one with a white bear riding his shoulder. Why give the bear a halo, though? Dressing it up like an angel seems a bit pointless.
Maybe I should fall back and call for backup-- ack. I think the big one with the bear might have spotted me, but if I just stay calm and be polite, I think I can-- hey, wait, let me go! This isn’t necessary, j-just put me down, and I’ll get out of your way. I don’t need to be carried anywhere, come on! I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me, but putting me up here is--
...um. No, sir. I don’t want to be your shoulder devil.
Poll Vote!
Character: Aramiya Satoshi
Series: Apple
Character Age: 17
Canon: When the Earth faces destruction, it creates beings with special powers that are supposed to protect it from the imminent threat. However, mankind has other plans. These beings have been titled ‘Apple’ by mankind. Apples have such extraordinary powers, such as the ability to transform into any living thing and the ability to heal others, that whoever manages to capture and control one would be able to take over the world. This creates one of the biggest problems for the Apples: they’re supposed to save the world, but at the same time they have to deal with the militaries of the world trying to capture them for their own devious purposes. Prior to the start of this one-shot, no Apple had ever been found by any military or government organization. In fact, many people doubted their existence, and the existence of Apples was stuck as just a theory. However, the recent discovery of one Apple has quickly changed that theory into fact.
Satoshi, the protagonist of the story, is an Apple who lives on his own just outside of Tokyo. He is the ‘proof’ that the Apple theory is true, and because of that he’s had a difficult life. Not only is he attacked and almost captured daily, but he also chooses to isolate himself so that these attempts do not harm anyone else. He seems to lack a formal education beyond the basics taught in elementary school, and he is not up-to-date on popular trends or social behaviors. This is likely because of this isolation he has put himself in. Luckily life outside of the city isn’t too much of as hassle, as he is very resourceful and does pretty much everything for himself. He built his home, and he cooks all of his meals. He does feel lonely sometimes, since he has to escape capture all the time and has never really had a ‘friend’, but Satoshi doesn’t let this get him down. He is amazingly high-spirited, and he always looks for the good in a situation. He’s also very laid-back about the dangers of the world, taking everything in stride and just smiling. He’s the type of person who can watch everything around him collapse into chaos and ruin and still somehow smile and say “It’s okay, at least I’m still alive.”
Sample Post: Now I certainly don’t mind cooking for all of you, but it really would have been easier for me to make a vegetable stir-fry since I have all of the ingredients for it with me. Yes, I did see the weekly calendar you guys use for meals, but just because you have it doesn’t mean that you have to follow it every week. Some of the meals on that calendar don’t really make much sense anyways. I’m not sure what that ‘furry’ meal you have on Fridays is, but something tells me it’s not the typical cow, pork or chicken that people usually eat. Those animals aren’t very furry. But if you really want soup, I suppose I can make it. I want all of you to at least at something, since you look like you’re just skin and bones as it is.
But first things first, we need to get the ingredients. I have everything we need except for the meat. Do you guys think you can find that? I know you guys get all of your food at stores, but I didn’t see any in that little village nearby. Then again, it seems to have sprung up overnight, since I don’t remember seeing it when I went to bed last night. Perhaps they just haven’t had time to build one yet. Plus I didn’t really get close enough to see what all of the buildings were. Hmm…Oh well. I’ve caught animals on my own before, so I’m sure we can manage. But it’ll take a while if we do that, because we’ll have to skin it, clean it off the bones, and the soup is already cooking, so- N-no thank you, I think we can do without THAT kind of meat for this soup. It would ruin the flavor, really. Where did you even get a human arm? …actually, don’t answer that.
On second thought, vegetable soup will be fine for today. It’s just about ready anyways, so come on up here with your bowls and I’ll fill ‘em up for you. …No, no, I already said we’re not putting cats in here. It’s not even Saturday or Caturday or whatever you call it here. Cats aren’t that tasty anyways, trust me. And it would take a lot of them to feed all of you. Maybe you could- what, the soup’s gone already? Wow, there must be a lot more of you than I expected. I thought I counted two dozen of you, but I guess I was off- H-hey, don’t suddenly grab me! I’ll make more, just don’t- AGH! TRANSFORM, TRANSFORM!
…Phew! Thank goodness I can get around people much easier as a cat than I can as a human. And it’s good that the mention of Caturday made me think to change into a cat in the first place, too. They would’ve gotten me if I hadn’t changed. I still don’t get why they would try to eat me…oh well. I got out of there without getting hurt, so I guess it’s okay. I’ll just have to get them out of there now, so I can get down from here. Who would’ve thought that soup on a Tuesday was such serious business? Well I guess I can’t help it if they want to be like that. I’ll just hang out on this roof until they get bored. At least there’s a nice view up here, and I can see the whole forest- Hey, don’t follow me over here! I know you’re hungry, but I’m much too small to be a good meal now!
…
I disagree. A cat is not fine too.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Veronica Mars
Series: Veronica Mars
Character Age: 19
Canon: Murder! Rape! Buses falling off of cliffs! These are regular occurrences in Neptune, California. A sunny, quiet exterior carefully hides a raging class war - towing the line between the two sides is Veronica Mars, the tiniest private investigator. Holding lingering ties to both sides of the conflict and searching continually for answers to the important questions, which range from "who killed my best friend?" to "is my ex-boyfriend my brother?", Veronica uses every trick in the book to find the truth and serve justice to those people who deserve it, even if it puts her in harm's way.
Veronica stands by her convictions no matter what, even though it makes her a public enemy. Jaded from the routine circumstances of her life, Veronica finds it hard to trust people, even if they are meant to be close to her. Read: her boyfriends, the poor souls. Clinical, articulate and extremely clever, not to mention a hip fast talker, Veronica has a variety of talents which she uses to find exactly where the truth is hiding. Her sassy, sarcastic exterior, meanwhile, doesn't always do much to hide her more selfish and angry side; sometimes using people as tools, Veronica believes that the truth is more important than people's feelings - even her own. But under that, she does have a particularly squishy inside.
Sample Post:
Right. So it's not my style to do these little study-aid summaries, but I figure with the look of you guys you're going to need all the help you can get to understand. Let's start with the basics! My name is Veronica Mars, and I am really pissed off. So I bet you're wondering, just why would a nice girl like me be so darn irritated? Let's cut to the chase. I'm a private investigator - it's official, see the badge? - and I was hired by my client here, a guy that I like to call Terrence Toucan, to clear up a matter that seems to have been bothering him awfully. You see, on a dark night in the bleak midwinter - and you couldn't make this stuff up, people - Terrence Toucan saw one of you guys accosting - no, assaulting - a young girl.
Now, Terrence's delicate sensibilities were dumbfounded by what he saw. But he couldn't go to the police! There's not a fully-functional police department 'round these parts - and Terrence is a toucan. It doesn't matter if he's read Nietzche, people. He's still a bird. Like us blondes, the toucans are continually looked down on for their lack of intellect. But! That didn't stop Terrence from seeking justice, folks. He came straight to me. Now, let's forget Terrence for a moment and pay attention to you guys - because that's what I've been doing for the last few days, trust me. See, the issue is with finding out what happened here is that you all look a bit similar. I mean, sure, Tiny over there has muscles like a rhino's, and Bruiser has a lovely tutu, but it's difficult for a girl to tell you all apart in the dark, you know?
But that isn't the problem. It's when I was staking you guys out that I ran into my main qualm. It's a little hard to find a culprit when you're all guilty of the same crime. Well, I can't accuse you of discrimination - girls, boys, lions, tigers, and bears, oh my, did you get a good grope in. But doesn't that just seem odd to you? You're creatures that are pretty indigenous to this place. Now, Terrence here has also been here at 'Camp Fuck You Die' for a while, and yet he neglected to tell poor little me, totally new to this place, that inappropriate touching is just you guys' gig - a gig which I do not condone, let me add. In fact, a gig which I hate, and if I see any of you at it again you will be meeting my good friend Mr. Taser - but that's not the point I'm making right now. This is Terrence's moment, and he's the star! Because I have in my pocket a tape of our friend Terrence, delicate Terrence, Terrence who cares about the boys and girls of this Camp, 'encouraging' Tiny over there to grab someone and "take them to Marcy", which is one of the most bizarre euphemisms for rape that I have ever heard. So, all that's left to do is dispense a little punishment. But the police can't touch Terrence, am I right? Tweet tweet. So I guess it's up to me to think of a better punishment for Terrence for wasting my time.
Okay! You're dismissed, show's over. If you're looking for a repeat performance ... I'm sure I'll be here for a while. Try the fried toucan, I hear it's delicious.
Poll Vote!
Character: Yuna
Series: Final Fantasy X-2
Age: 19
Canon (minor spoilers ahead): In Final Fantasy X, a young Summoner named Yuna and her guardians saved the world from the recurring threat of the great "monster," Sin. In Final Fantasy X-2, two years have passed, and one day the former High Summoner is shown a sphere (a kind of recording) of a man who looks an awful lot like Tidus-the hero of the first game-who faded away at the end of it. Yuna loved Tidus (and still does), so she joins her cousin Rikku's group of "sphere hunters"-The Gullwings-in the hope of finding him alive somewhere. After retrieving Yuna's Garment Grid (an invention that harnesses the power of "dresspheres," which are similar to a job/class system), which was stolen by another sphere hunter in order to impersonate Yuna, The Gullwings continue their journey in their airship all over Spira. As they begin to learn more about this sphere that may depict Tidus, they become entangled in another conflict as they learn of Vegnagun, a giant weapon from a thousand years ago that could destroy the whole world if it ended up in the wrong hands. Unfortunately for them, by that time it already is in the wrong hands.
With the weight of the world no longer on her shoulders, Yuna seems like a whole new person in some ways. Once a very serious girl who sought to keep any negative emotions to herself, she is now a free spirit, alive when she never thought she would be. As a gunner, she's ditched her traditional attire for some hotpants and a couple of pistols. She is much more open about her emotions than she was in the first game, and has become more playful and outspoken like Rikku. Despite this, deep down she is very much the same Yuna as before-she's still driven, kind-hearted, and utterly unable to refuse any call for help, no matter the cost.
Sample Post:
You know, up until a few hours ago, I didn't think things could possibly get any stranger than they already were. But if I've learned anything in the past few years, it's that things aren't always how they appear. Come to think of it, this doesn't look like any place in Spira that I've ever seen. It's almost like this isn't even the same world. I wonder... if this is how he felt when he first arrived in Spira. Even the wildlife is strange! This bird has been staring at me since I got here. It's a very beautiful bird, but I don't know what it wants from me. When it squawks, it sounds like it's saying "fruit loops." What is that supposed to mean? Here, let me see if I can record it!
...Oh, I hope no one minds that I've borrowed this sphere to record over. I checked it out, and it looked like an old recording of someone's birthday party. I feel a little bad, but I really have to document this-I'll try to make it up to this "Marcy" person later, somehow. After all, I have no idea where I am or how I got here, so maybe this is a place that's never been documented before! This could make for one heck of a sphere!
Anyway, my Garment Grid's been stolen again. Fortunately, this place seems to be enclosed by some kind of magic barrier, so it shouldn't be too hard to catch the culprit. Not only that, but the locals seem to be... well, you probably won't believe me, but they look like zombies! I know it sounds crazy, but they're definitely Unsent, and they don't look very good. Oddly enough, a lot of them don't even seem hostile. There are a few of them not far from here just sitting around playing cards. I've never seen anything like it! But that also means it was probably a zombie that stole my Grid... which means that somewhere, there's a Zombie Yuna wandering around. It's a little unsettling to think about! I don't know if I really want to know what I'd look like as a zombie...
Other than that, the spheres here don't seem very valuable. They really don't appear to have anything to do with Spira at all. The first one I found was a recording of a man in strange clothing, dancing around and singing an upbeat love song. It was kind of sweet, but nothing to get excited about. Another one featured another strange man, pleading his audience to "leave Britney alone." Does that mean anything to any of you? What about "Chocolate Rain?" If not, I'm afraid this place is a dud as far as spheres go. Whoever this "You Tube" person is, he records some weird spheres!
Well, I wish my fellow Gullwings were here with me, but I know you'll find me soon enough. Until then, I'm going to try and hunt down my Garment Grid on my own. Whoever this impostor zombie is, I'm sure I can take them on! Hey, do you hear that, thief? I don't want to have to resort to violence, so just give me back my Grid, because I've got some Phoenix Down with me and I know what that does to people like you! Geez, why do people like to pretend to be someone else so much, anyway? here with me, but I know you'll find me soon enough. Until then, I'm going to try and hunt down my Garment Grid on my own. Whoever this impostor zombie is, I'm sure I can take them on! Hey, do you hear that, thief? I don't want to have to resort to violence, so just give me back my Grid, because I've got some Phoenix Down with me and I know what that does to people like you! Geez, why do people like to pretend to be someone else so much, anyway?
Poll Vote!
Character: Hige
Series: Wolf's Rain
Character Age: Appears about 19
Canon: Wolf's Rain is a pre-apocalyptic series with a twist: in an ailing world wrought with political strife and a climate crisis, humanity's last hope for salvation rests in the legend of Paradise, a realm which, with the aid of the Flower Maiden, only wolves can find. Unbeknownst to the world that believes wolves are long extinct, wolves take on the appearance of humans in order to survive in human societies. Four such wolves discover the Flower Maiden and begin their journey in search of Paradise, eluding persecutors, braving treacherous conditions and fighting crazed noblemen along the way.
Hige is an easy-going and slightly heavy-set beta wolf who follows along more out of intrigue than of belief in Paradise. Street-wise and rather opportunistic, he places worldly pleasures and tangible concerns above moral principles, always making sure to fill his stomach and take the time to chase a few skirts when he can (even though he often fails to impress). When packmates are in danger, however, his carefree attitude gives way to fierce loyalty and courage, and his acute sense of smell has more than once helped the pack out of a pinch.
Sample post:
Stray off the beaten path, Kiba said. Run the hidden pine trails of the forest, and if I walk the footsteps of a stranger I'll learn things I never knew. Well I sure learned a lot today! Like not to chase after the white bunnies because in this part of the world, bunny bites you. And not to take the cakes lying next those mean-looking trees, because food doesn't just sit there harmlessly waiting for you to stumble across it in a forest full of man-eating woodland creatures. Man if I knew this place would turn out to be like the Forest of Death I would've stayed on the main path with that girl. At least she was cute.
What? It's a trap? Are you talking about the pretty girl in the red parka? Because I know about that already. Thanks fish-face-- oh I'm sorry, Admiral Fish-face, but you might wanna work on warning people in advance. It's more helpful that way. Y'see, I already got a tip-off from the toucans that the path she pointed me down was full of rickrolls, and though I'm not sure what exactly a rickroll is, I can tell it's something bad from the way they exchanged disgusted looks. Though now I'm not sure if that's worse than getting lost in these woods. Huh? What do you mean, it's not that kind of trap? What other kind is there? She's the trap? Okay now you're just not making any sense.
Look, it's a campsite! Sure it's a bit cold right now for a summer camp, but it seems pretty lively. You've got some old, sick-looking guys over there playing football, and a couple of kids splashing around in the lake with Nessie. Huh, never knew Nessie was a squid. But where's the barbecue? All I can smell so far is old mustard and... is that formaldehyde? Let's see, we've also got paint thinner, sulfur, curdled milk... and someone had too much beans and cheese for breakfast. Aauugh.
Alright, I wasn't expecting fine dining, but c'mon. I'd even take the arm that fell off of that guy, if only it wasn't like a decade past the expiration date. Four-week rule, tops. Wait, what is that next to him... a leg of lamb? He must've dropped it on the way to the grill! Haha I knew this place would be worth my while! Don't mind if I help myse-- whoa, hey! What the hell is this?! Hey, let me out! ...A note? "Thank you for signing up. You're a bit late to the party, but you're free to stay for the next round. Until then, the furries will keep you company." What does all this mean? Did they get Kiba and the other guys too? Dammit, I gotta get us outta here!
...Yes, admiral, it's a trap. I can see that. Now will you help me out of this cage? I'm getting a bad feeling about the gorillas coming this way.
Poll Vote!
Character: Blue
Series: Wolf's Rain
Character Age: Appears around 20 when in human form
Canon: It is said that when the world is nearing its end a Paradise will appear, but only wolves will be able to reach it. Following the scent of lunar flowers, a pack of four wolves decide to embark on a magical, angst-ridden journey towards this promised land. But they're not alone! A flower maiden, psychotic politicians, and assorted fail humans are with them on their quest; or more like chasing after them in the case of one Quent Yaiden: perpetually drunk wolf-hunter.
Blue is Quent's pet dog who only recently found she has some wolf in her too. Since she was raised as a dog, Blue holds a deep love for humans and firmly believes in the principle of making herself useful to them. Though at the same time, this conflicts with her fierce wolf nature, resulting in Deep Existential Angst that she fights by putting on a strong (even if sometimes sarcastic) front. She knows that she might not be able to go to Paradise, since she's not a pure wolf, but this doesn't stop her from trying. Til the bitter end she always tries her best to protect her loved ones, remaining hopeful that a better tomorrow will come for everyone.
Note: Like the rest of her fellow wolves, Blue can speak to and understand other animals.
Sample Post:
Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out this isn't the Paradise I'm looking for. The stench of death, the trees growing all sorts of strange-looking fruits, the way everyone goes "iyaaaaan" instead of "ah-wooooo" when howling at the moon. I don't mean to judge your local customs or anything, but have you ever stopped to think that maybe this isn't the way things are supposed to be?
Is it something in the water? Or maybe the pollen in the air...? Whatever it is we need to figure out a way to save both animals and humans from it. The people especially seem to be far off worse than anyone else here -- just take a look at them. How they won't stop wailing and how it's so hard for them to even walk around. Not to mention shedding isn't supposed to be painful. Or... leave whole limbs behind. Ah, please wait, Mister, I'll get your arm back to you!
Though I used to be the same until recently, going with the flow without being aware of the truth behind things. So I know it can be hard; for example, when you've lived all of your life as a normal toucan and one day you realize that maybe all those thoughts you keep hearing in your mind about wanting to eat rotten flesh aren't your own, but other people's. And that you could change their feeding habits -- the whole course of their lives with that ability. That you could be so much more...
Hah, but I'm getting sidetracked now, sorry. What I wanted to say is, would you like to come with us to Paradise? I'm still not sure other animals will be allowed in it, but it's definitely worth a shot, don't you think? And please don't tell me I'm barking up the wrong tree, I'm sure everyone here would rather try to have a better life than remaining in a place that doesn't even have lunar flowers or beefy bones -- I mean, proper food. Because even if I've never seen it, I can feel that anything is possible there.
... What? Well, I'm not really sure what that means, but I don't see why "yiffing" wouldn't be allowed in Paradise...
Poll Vote!
Character: Chrno
Series: Chrno Crusade (manga)
Character Age: Looks to be 12, is really much older
Canon: Ah, New York, the Roaring Twenties! The war was over, life was good, and demons were trying to kill people-okay, that part’s not so good. In the year 1924, demons occasionally break into the human world and wreak havoc. Opposing the demons is the Magdalan Order, dedicated to exorcising and otherwise dealing with the supernatural threat. The heroes of our story are Rosette Christopher, an exorcist-nun from the order, and her demon assistant, Chrno. Together they beat up demons, occasionally beat up each other, and continue their quest to save Rosette’s brother.
Where Rosette is the hard-headed and brash one of the pair, Chrno prefers to be more reasonable and polite… and exasperated. It’s Chrno who’ll advocate actually having a plan first before charging in guns blazing, or trying to find a less dangerous alternative. Chrno’s demeanor is often pleasant and kind, only dipping into yelling and grumbling when the situation becomes ridiculous. However, Chrno is a demon, who is bound and sealed by a contract with Rosette. His past is a mystery, and under his cheerful attitude lies a tragic story. But for the most part, you wouldn’t know it. He spends far too much time supporting Rosette from a few steps behind, through thick, thin, and the odd moment of property destruction.
Sample Post:
It’s really unusual for the Order to insist I go alone on a mission. They know I’m just an assistant to Rosette as far as rank goes, but I guess when the mission requires “the utmost stealth”... well, maybe I can understand why they didn’t send Rosette. She still hasn’t paid off the damages from the last car. Still, I didn’t know the Order had a branch in Louisiana, much less in a swamp. I’ve been looking all over and I still haven’t found it. It’s enough to give me a sinking feeling, not to mention how many times I stumbled into a bog. The one shack I found with the cross looked promising, but I don’t think “The Church of Splatter-Day Saints” is what they meant. I hope.
But if there was ever a place for an Order outpost, this would be it. I’ve seen people try to use demons to revive the dead before, yet what’s happening here is just... bizarre. The bodies are dead, all right, except they’re still moving, even with rotten limbs. I feel a bit sorry for them... caught between life and death like this, clinging to what remains of their humanity. E-even if they’re clinging to bits of other people’s humanity. I’m not sure if it’s just demons behind all this. It’s suspicious enough already and not the work of your average Necromancer, but that person who handed me the information sheet and... most of his hand makes me think all of this is planned out by the Director here. Why else would it promote “The Night of the Living Zombie Strippers: coming your way 28 days later!” without trying to cover up what they’re doing… or how shameless it is? It’s not just the corpses, either. Even the squirrels were insistent on giving them to me, once I convinced them that going up my pants was not the way to give out promotional material. Is common decency too much to ask for? I-I mean... how embarrassing.
All of the strange animals here have reminded me of something... maybe they’re trying to make another of those arks. If that’s true, this could be more serious than I thought. A flood would devastate the parts of this place that aren’t already a lake or swampy. Not a large area, but one that’s still populated by people and animals. I’ve seen pairs of most things, doing things that, er, do need two animals for, and the sign for “Seamen’s Surprise” at the Mess Hall could be related to water. I just don’t know why there would be such an over supply of gorillas. I guess they could be helpers, since some of them are holding other animals... there’s one with a white bear riding his shoulder. Why give the bear a halo, though? Dressing it up like an angel seems a bit pointless.
Maybe I should fall back and call for backup-- ack. I think the big one with the bear might have spotted me, but if I just stay calm and be polite, I think I can-- hey, wait, let me go! This isn’t necessary, j-just put me down, and I’ll get out of your way. I don’t need to be carried anywhere, come on! I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me, but putting me up here is--
...um. No, sir. I don’t want to be your shoulder devil.
Poll Vote!
Character: Aramiya Satoshi
Series: Apple
Character Age: 17
Canon: When the Earth faces destruction, it creates beings with special powers that are supposed to protect it from the imminent threat. However, mankind has other plans. These beings have been titled ‘Apple’ by mankind. Apples have such extraordinary powers, such as the ability to transform into any living thing and the ability to heal others, that whoever manages to capture and control one would be able to take over the world. This creates one of the biggest problems for the Apples: they’re supposed to save the world, but at the same time they have to deal with the militaries of the world trying to capture them for their own devious purposes. Prior to the start of this one-shot, no Apple had ever been found by any military or government organization. In fact, many people doubted their existence, and the existence of Apples was stuck as just a theory. However, the recent discovery of one Apple has quickly changed that theory into fact.
Satoshi, the protagonist of the story, is an Apple who lives on his own just outside of Tokyo. He is the ‘proof’ that the Apple theory is true, and because of that he’s had a difficult life. Not only is he attacked and almost captured daily, but he also chooses to isolate himself so that these attempts do not harm anyone else. He seems to lack a formal education beyond the basics taught in elementary school, and he is not up-to-date on popular trends or social behaviors. This is likely because of this isolation he has put himself in. Luckily life outside of the city isn’t too much of as hassle, as he is very resourceful and does pretty much everything for himself. He built his home, and he cooks all of his meals. He does feel lonely sometimes, since he has to escape capture all the time and has never really had a ‘friend’, but Satoshi doesn’t let this get him down. He is amazingly high-spirited, and he always looks for the good in a situation. He’s also very laid-back about the dangers of the world, taking everything in stride and just smiling. He’s the type of person who can watch everything around him collapse into chaos and ruin and still somehow smile and say “It’s okay, at least I’m still alive.”
Sample Post: Now I certainly don’t mind cooking for all of you, but it really would have been easier for me to make a vegetable stir-fry since I have all of the ingredients for it with me. Yes, I did see the weekly calendar you guys use for meals, but just because you have it doesn’t mean that you have to follow it every week. Some of the meals on that calendar don’t really make much sense anyways. I’m not sure what that ‘furry’ meal you have on Fridays is, but something tells me it’s not the typical cow, pork or chicken that people usually eat. Those animals aren’t very furry. But if you really want soup, I suppose I can make it. I want all of you to at least at something, since you look like you’re just skin and bones as it is.
But first things first, we need to get the ingredients. I have everything we need except for the meat. Do you guys think you can find that? I know you guys get all of your food at stores, but I didn’t see any in that little village nearby. Then again, it seems to have sprung up overnight, since I don’t remember seeing it when I went to bed last night. Perhaps they just haven’t had time to build one yet. Plus I didn’t really get close enough to see what all of the buildings were. Hmm…Oh well. I’ve caught animals on my own before, so I’m sure we can manage. But it’ll take a while if we do that, because we’ll have to skin it, clean it off the bones, and the soup is already cooking, so- N-no thank you, I think we can do without THAT kind of meat for this soup. It would ruin the flavor, really. Where did you even get a human arm? …actually, don’t answer that.
On second thought, vegetable soup will be fine for today. It’s just about ready anyways, so come on up here with your bowls and I’ll fill ‘em up for you. …No, no, I already said we’re not putting cats in here. It’s not even Saturday or Caturday or whatever you call it here. Cats aren’t that tasty anyways, trust me. And it would take a lot of them to feed all of you. Maybe you could- what, the soup’s gone already? Wow, there must be a lot more of you than I expected. I thought I counted two dozen of you, but I guess I was off- H-hey, don’t suddenly grab me! I’ll make more, just don’t- AGH! TRANSFORM, TRANSFORM!
…Phew! Thank goodness I can get around people much easier as a cat than I can as a human. And it’s good that the mention of Caturday made me think to change into a cat in the first place, too. They would’ve gotten me if I hadn’t changed. I still don’t get why they would try to eat me…oh well. I got out of there without getting hurt, so I guess it’s okay. I’ll just have to get them out of there now, so I can get down from here. Who would’ve thought that soup on a Tuesday was such serious business? Well I guess I can’t help it if they want to be like that. I’ll just hang out on this roof until they get bored. At least there’s a nice view up here, and I can see the whole forest- Hey, don’t follow me over here! I know you’re hungry, but I’m much too small to be a good meal now!
…
I disagree. A cat is not fine too.
Poll Vote!