(no subject)
First round! Remember, apps are still open until 6am EST.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Arnaud G. Vasquez
Series: Wild ARMs 4
Character Age: 18
Canon: The land of Filgaia was torn apart by war. It's only in the last ten years that the war has ended, but the land has not yet recovered. It still remains desolate, scattered with the broken remnants of the technology of those past years. Wild ARMs 4 is the story of Jude Maverick, who lived peacefully unaware of all of this in a village above the clouds. A true child, it's not until his world is literally shattered that he begins his journey through Filgaia, learning what it really means to be an adult. Arnaud G. Vasquez is one of the first people Jude meets - in a terribly "uncool" moment, by Arnaud's own admission. (Or, maybe anyone's. Getting punched in the face and then having to be rescued from a cell by a 14 year old? Yeeaaah, that's pretty uncool.)
Arnaud has lived his life up to this point as a Drifter - someone who travels through the land doing odd jobs, more or less. It's anything from investigating ruins to fighting monsters. This job and the responsibilities that go with it make Arnaud believe he's an adult... but sometimes he has a hard time believing that. He's very preoccupied with his age and maturity, as well as appearances, as he tries to be cool, confident, witty and brilliant. Underneath, though, he's cynical, cowardly and just plain whiny. Arnaud is a man who likes to see himself as the victim, but he wants to be needed and wants his skills to be recognized, even if it's him talking himself up. It's through this journey with Jude and the others that he begins to grow - seeing his youth and insecurities as something he still needs to pass through, and finding a real reason to journey. He finds meaning beyond just himself.
Sample Post:
Give me a break here, guys! The director too! I only agreed to come here for the money, you know! The last time my employers didn't pay me, I just quit! ... Well, it was a little like that. All you really have to know about that is they totally regretted ignoring me like that, all thanks to my... little... Sigh, I can't believe I'm resorting to something like this... My little friend! You wanna say hello? Sure you do. So, just hold on a second, alright? I have to get him out! It's so dark in this cave that I can barely see a foot in front of my hand - not a real foot, okay, the measure of distance... Aah, that's better, finally getting a little light in here, so I can finally whip out my secret weapon!
So, come on out, Jude-- Hey, Jude? Don't be afraid... now you're just making me look bad. Are you even in here? If you think hiding's going to work, you still have a lot to learn. I mean, I guess for that matter, so do I. At least right now I can rely on my razor-sharp mind, you know? Wait, you guys wouldn't know anything about that. From what I can see... and I can see it pretty well, your brains are more like pea soup. Which begs the question, why does Miss Elizabeth rely on you? I'm unquestionably the better choice here!
Sheesh, you try to help a lady out, offering your skills up like that and what does she do? She throws you in a dank, dark cave with a bunch of her lackeys. She didn't even give me a pick-axe... not that I'm entirely sure what she wanted me to do in here. I wonder if she's gonna give me the option of ever coming out. You'd think that would go without saying, but nooo. Some of you guys look like you've been in here a while. Talk about a pallid demeanor. Isn't this inhumane? I don't get paid enough for this-- wait, I'm not getting paid at all!
Just because you think I'm a kid, it doesn't mean you can just skip out on that part, you know. Aren't I at the upper end of the age range anyway? You didn't have to give me a lollipop and a sticker with my name on it... So I'm a camper... so what? I'm definitely not a happy one! --You know what? That's it, I've had it. So maybe I didn't think this through entirely, but whatever! I got pulled into this mess, I'll yank myself out. Come on, you guys. With my brains, and whatever's left of your brawn - I know there's not a lot, but we gotta work with what we've got - we'll definitely get out of here.
But first, lunch. And we'll skip the pea soup for brains. Aren't I thoughtful?
Poll Vote!
Character: Captain Zelnick
Series: Star Control II
Character Age: 19
Canon: The year is 2156 AD, and the universe needs saving from the Ur-Quan, who aim to enslave and/or kill all other sentients. And, as these things always go, a precocious human teenager becomes humanity’s only hope for survival.
Zelnick is endlessly curious about everything he comes across in his travels, often pestering hostile alien races repeatedly to hear their entire species’ history, despite the all too evident risks of sudden and creative annihilation at their hand-equivalents. It was this curiosity that led him to mess around in the shipyard of Precursor technology discovered on the planet Unzervalt he and a small group of scientists were stranded on, thus becoming the only one with the ability to pilot the starship that would lead the rebellion against the Ur-Quan Hierarchy.
This doesn’t mean Zelnick’s a good choice for saviour of the universe. He’s tactless, easily fooled and prone to throwing around childish (and rather inventive) insults at whomever he’s supposed to be making diplomatic relations with if things turn sour, regardless of whether or not they have a weapon that could vaporize him within seconds. But being a bad choice doesn’t make him a bad guy; Zelnick is naturally helpful and friendly to everyone he meets. His trusting nature may screw him over on occasion but it just as often helps him build strong alliances with those who return it in kind.
Really, at heart, Zelnick is just a nice guy trying to do the right thing, especially if the right thing includes wondering how evil sentient fungi would taste fried in butter.
Sample Post:
Greetings, sentient beings. I am Captain Zelnick of the New Alliance of Free Stars and commander of the starship Vindicator. I’m here in response to the distress signals you’ve been blasting throughout the quadrant. The message sounded urgent, but didn’t tell me what the problem was or where I could find you, just a lot of ancient human music telling me where I was. Fortunately, it could be tracked to this planet and found to originate from your lonely island. The signal has taken over all our channels and managed to damage a section of our translation equipment- and yours too, I think, since the Vindicator is more of a ship than a boat.
In any case, I stand ready to assist you, so what’s the problem? Civilization here seems to be a distinctly lacking in the technology department- not to mention the basic living requirements. This is a really primitive planet, isn’t it? But I suppose that if you can manage interstellar communication you can’t be that backwater. At least you have a good healthcare system and impressive medical expertise, since you don’t seem at all bothered by your arm dropping off like that.
…Actually, you guys don’t seem very bothered by anything. What was the point of the distress signal? This place seems more distressing than distressed, what with the mysterious gaseous mists and questionably luminescent natural features my scanners are detecting. Don’t tell me I fell for anoth- that you guys were just playing a prank! Now that I’ve come all this way surely there’s something I can do for you. Make an exchange that is mutually beneficial to both parties. You know, you scratch my back I scratch…the south side of your north-facing skin expanse. Expanses. Uh. You must have a thousand of them. Wow. You must be their leader. Surely we can come to some sort of peaceful agreement?
Here, let me make you an offer. My scanners tell me you are in possession of an artifact of distinct personal interest to my crew and I, one that protects you against dangerous mental compulsions. Would you be willing to tra- NO! No I will not do…do that with you. Isn’t there an alternative? One that doesn’t involve your tentacles anywhere near my person. When I said negotiations, I meant my back, not my backside!
Poll Vote!
Character: Li Shang
Series: Mulan
Character Age: 18 (estimated, based on having recently completed training, his lack of experience, etc.)
Canon: "Mulan" is the story of an ancient Chinese girl of the same name, who disguises herself as a male and joins the army in her crippled father's place, ultimately saving the country from the invading Huns. Along the way, it's up to the untested young Imperial Captain Li Shang to train the army's new recruits and stop the invaders. Shang is an expert soldier, and he's out to prove he's a good enough leader to turn the rag-tag boys his country sends him into respectable army men. The only problem? He's trying to make a man out of Fa "Ping," never realizing the awkward boy is actually a girl in drag until a medic points it out to him.
Despite his repeated failure to recognize traps whether crossdresser or Hun ambusher, Shang really isn't that bad. The son of a general, Shang just wants to live up to the expectations his lineage sets. He spends most of his time playing the exasperated straight man and scary drill sergeant--but in private he still indulges youthful dreams of creating "the greatest troops of all time," and occasionally that intimidating exterior will slip to show a doofy interior. Shang tends to display a straight-laced adherence to the ideals and sexist traditions of China's culture at the time. But if he's given enough reasons, he is capable of occasionally opening his mind to unorthodox ideas. Like not killing the woman who saves his life and country even though the law calls for it. Strength and discipline are his strongest qualities, and he tries to pass that on to his soldiers.
Note: Shang, like Mulan, is being taken from before their arrival at the burnt-out village.
Sample Post: You're out of uniform, mister!
Do you think that body hair makes you a man? I don't care if you are as hairy as a gorilla, or how easy it'll be to recognize you--you will wear that uniform! It isn't just about being able to see who's an enemy and who's an ally. A uniform symbolizes what you're fighting for, the country you might die for. Discarding those clothes dishonors everything you're supposed to stand for! Not only that, but if you rely on standing apart from your brothers in arms, seeking personal glory, you might as well be painting a target on yourself. Forget glory--put those clothes on, do your country and family proud, and count yourself lucky if you've only shamed yourself by the time I'm through with you.
Look, I understand that this "track" uniform is not standard. I intend to have words with the quartermaster about giving the new recruits the correct supplies. But in the meantime, we make do. Those may not be the clothes you or I might choose to march off to war in, but do not fool yourself into thinking that the Huns will give us the luxury of choice! You are limited to a choice between honor and dishonor. There is no option three.
The rest of you, listen up! Every day that your friend here thinks that he can indulge himself by spending the day naked, you will all have to spend the day cleaning each and every inch of this sorry excuse for a camp! By the time I'm done with you, the wood of those cabins will look polished and the latrines will smell like a woman's garden. And don't even think about asking the women here for help--I'm going to send them away myself.
What do you mean, the men and women prefer not to fraternize with each other? Soldier, do yourself a favor. I don't care who you fraternize with, so in the future, if I do not ask you a question, don't tell. I'm sending them away because this is no place for a woman. Now, you're all dismiss--Soldier! I told you to put on a uniform, not women's clothing!
Don't make excuses to me, soldier. I know all about setting up a trap, and there isn't a single one that involves you wearing a dress.
Poll Vote!
Character: Apollo
Series: Olympos
Character Age: Immortal and pretty old! But he's referred to as a "red-haired pretty boy" and looks like a teenager.
Canon: The problem with the Greek gods is that their lives were the soap operas of the ancient times, with 'Days of our Inbred Titanic Offspring' and 'Married with Swans' as popular titles. The beginning of Olympos is deceptively tame in comparison: "God" appears before a young man and makes a contract with him: bring the reclusive Ganymede out of a miniature garden, and he will have a happy marriage. With a kiss to seal the contract, the young man eagerly sets off on his quest. Too bad for him, the "God" he made his bargain with was hardly the benevolent Christian God, but rather Apollo.
Described as a "loud, showy braggart" by Ganymede, Apollo is flamboyant and taunting. He is the epitome of haughty, imparting his "divine wisdom" whether or not the other party wants to hear it, and mostly referring to himself as "God." More than a little vain, Apollo has a strong sense of superiority to humanity as a whole; humans are dirty and foolish. Childish and immature, Apollo has no problem setting up contracts he knows people can't fulfill or being cruel for his own sadistic amusement. Basically Apollo is one part asshole, two parts bully, and one part magical shoujo flower petals and sparkles.
Sample Post:
Listen up, Grarrgh and Hurrg. I get that humans are full of petty wishes, and that you dead humans are even worse. But we've made what you'd call a contract. Tit for tat, brains for a favor. Get it? Don't even think about trying to weasel out of this, and don't you dare think about women's underwear, I don't care if really want a pair to sniff. Humans have such dirty minds. God knows when you've been good, and I know when you've been bad. You've got some nerve, thinking you can just call me here - I had to kiss you! Ugh, so nasty! - and expect me to just give you what you want.
Here's how it goes. Everything you've heard about God is true. I know what goes on between those rotting excuses for ears you've got. And you've made me kind of angry, so you better follow another one of those little sayings. What was it? Ahahaha! That's right! The best way to find God is on your knees, so get down and start apologizing! Oh, stop your groaning, just shut up and suck it.
... close enough. Actually, that's as close as you should ever get. Humans should stick to the things they're best at, crawling around on the mud. How about this! I'll give you the brains you so desperately want if you do this little thing for me. There's this boy who thinks the world and its sorrows revolves around his own little tragedy. He's holed himself up, see, and refuses to come out. He needs to cheer up and walk down the right road instead of just going across the street. So! The deal is, you make him realize how small and insignificant his problems are, and I'll give you brains.
Look, don't think too much. You called for me didn't you? You thought: Dear God, braaainnnnsss. So I came! Even if you didn't think that, you would have. God never tells a lie, you know. Even if it seems like a lie at the time, that's only because you just don't have enough faith.
Sigh. If you have to think of it in your own meager terms, then think of it this way: God came prematurely.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hikaru Ichijyo
Series: Super Dimensional Fortress Macross
Character Age: 16
Canon: Macross is the time honored love story between a boy, his airplane, and two women in space. And like most wholesome love-stories, there's a war going on. Hikaru was just your ordinary top-gun quality fly-boy until the day giant aliens from beyond the stars decided to show up and start blasting things... so he did what any red blooded man would do! Get his butt stuck in a fighter plane and accidentally launch into battle. Of course from there it was just a hop skip and a jump into being a full-time military pilot! Hikaru loves his job. Except for the getting shot at part. And the never having time for girls part. And pretty much every part except for the flying part. That's his favorite.
Hikaru's got an interesting courtship method- his idea of a perfect date is getting trapped alone in some desolate place with a nice girl for a few days with little hope of rescue. He's such a romantic- Then after wards his charming personality and bubbling confidence are real winners among the ladies! It only takes him 36 episodes to reel the woman of his dreams in and seal the deal! Yeah, Hikaru has it all. Looks, Charm, Derp, Derp, a little more Derp... Okay so look, he's a dork with a plane. He's a well meaning dork with a plane!
Sample Post: Oi oi, what is this place!? Camp... CAMP W-WHAT!? Y-You've gotta be joking me! Crap, how do I always end up in spots like this? One minute you're whirling around like a bird in the sky, not a care in the world except for the Zentradi pods trying to shoot you down, the next minute you're in some weirdo place like this!
I guess the more things change the more they stay the same, right? Zentradi, Zombie, as long as I'm being chased by big green things I should feel right at home! Well, at least you guys aren't 20 feet tall... Smell's off-putting, but I can get used to that... and nobody yelling at me through the comm is a good touch! So long as I can still fly- wait, I can still fly, right? Tell me I can still fly!!
I know! I can teach all of you guys how! It's not so hard, I'm sure you can manage it! I can picture it now, the first all-zombie flight school- My old man will be so proud of me... and like, if any of them crash, they'll be alright anyhow! Well, not the plane so much... Maybe we should start with gliders... O-oi, d-don't look at me like that! At least I think you're looking at me- one of your eyes is... I'm just trying to help, really!
Crap, I just thought of something! Oh man, with as often as I get trapped alone with girls... for days and days on end... Not here! Anywhere but here! I don't have zombie insurance! Sure, we wouldn't have to worry about food, I guess... but wait, that means I'm the food! Oi, Somebody get me out of here! S-Sempai, don't leave me with the zombies! Zero-G Love is one thing, but Zero-Brain Love? N-No thank you!
Poll Vote!
Character: Morgana
Series: Merlin
Character Age: 21
Canon: Based (a bit loosely) off of the Arthurian legends, Merlin is the BBC hit detailing the story of how Merlin and Arthur met, with a bit of a twist: they're both the same age. Not only that: Merlin is not an accomplished wizard, Guinevere is a hand servant, and Arthur is a bit of a prat (to say the least). Between the almost constant threats on Arthur's life, whether accidental or magical, Merlin is a tale of two halves of the same coin on a crash course with a great destiny. In the series, Morgana is Uther Pendragon's ward. Though Uther would like to portray her as a prize to be won because of her great beauty, she's far from simple eye candy.
Morgana at first seems like Arthur's surrogate sister. Or they certainly fight like brother and sister at any rate. Morgana is always ready and willing to put Arthur back in his place, lest he get a little too high for the crown on his head. Aside from that, Morgana has a strong moral compass and quick wits about her. She is willing to go the distance for what she believes is right, and next to nothing will make her back down once she's established her side of a fight. She is a compassionate, caring, stubborn person, and is more than willing to spend a night in the dungeon to prove her point, and that is certainly no way to stop her from sharpening her tongue on the wrongdoer's feelings. Though one might be tempted to think that she's really all talk, she's more than willing to pick up a sword, should the need ever arise for it.
Sample Post:
I had thought that you had meant an actual sickness had overtaken your land in your letter, not that the dead had! What would you have me do, then? Why, you didn’t even give me warning or notice of a problem of this sort, and now I have no sword to best handle this problem. Have you only half a brain? Well… you’ve enough of one to know that the dead should not be walking, but not enough to know that this is not a sickness of any sort.
Well, you’ve a mouth. Speak! I am willing to help you with this problem, but I cannot do this if you will not speak to me. We are equals, yes? This is why you wrote asking for my aid, is it not? It did seem odd that you would trust me to cure this problem and not a physician... I certainly do not have the “right equipment” that you wrote of. And now I do not even have a sword with which I’d thrust into the very foul nature of these beasts.
Get a hold of yourself! There is nothing crawling in your skin, and if there are wounds that will not heal, then you should seek a physician this instant. I don’t know how to cure sickness! Come, if you need my aid, rest on my shoulders. Together, we’ll find someone that can help us… And a weapon, hopefully. This area… Seefeud, the water looks so strange... Though, do not take me for an ignorant-I am not the sort of girl who would only stick to the rivers and lakes that I’m used to. Anyone could see that that water is not fit for drink-
Unhand me this instant! You…! You lecherous--! I can’t believe you would think of that at a time like this. Have you no morals?! Of all the ignorant, barbaric, rude… Well, perhaps I have been far too quick to speak. It seems that most of my words have simply confused you. Please, let’s start again. You started to talk of your sword? How perfect, of course I’d love to handle it! It would be my honor. After all, it seems I am lacking the right equipment for what I intend to do.
Let me rip your sword from you~. I’m certain you won’t be needing it anymore after today, and you seemed as though you really didn’t know how to use it. If you question my skill... well, I can certainly handle a sword better than any man.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Arnaud G. Vasquez
Series: Wild ARMs 4
Character Age: 18
Canon: The land of Filgaia was torn apart by war. It's only in the last ten years that the war has ended, but the land has not yet recovered. It still remains desolate, scattered with the broken remnants of the technology of those past years. Wild ARMs 4 is the story of Jude Maverick, who lived peacefully unaware of all of this in a village above the clouds. A true child, it's not until his world is literally shattered that he begins his journey through Filgaia, learning what it really means to be an adult. Arnaud G. Vasquez is one of the first people Jude meets - in a terribly "uncool" moment, by Arnaud's own admission. (Or, maybe anyone's. Getting punched in the face and then having to be rescued from a cell by a 14 year old? Yeeaaah, that's pretty uncool.)
Arnaud has lived his life up to this point as a Drifter - someone who travels through the land doing odd jobs, more or less. It's anything from investigating ruins to fighting monsters. This job and the responsibilities that go with it make Arnaud believe he's an adult... but sometimes he has a hard time believing that. He's very preoccupied with his age and maturity, as well as appearances, as he tries to be cool, confident, witty and brilliant. Underneath, though, he's cynical, cowardly and just plain whiny. Arnaud is a man who likes to see himself as the victim, but he wants to be needed and wants his skills to be recognized, even if it's him talking himself up. It's through this journey with Jude and the others that he begins to grow - seeing his youth and insecurities as something he still needs to pass through, and finding a real reason to journey. He finds meaning beyond just himself.
Sample Post:
Give me a break here, guys! The director too! I only agreed to come here for the money, you know! The last time my employers didn't pay me, I just quit! ... Well, it was a little like that. All you really have to know about that is they totally regretted ignoring me like that, all thanks to my... little... Sigh, I can't believe I'm resorting to something like this... My little friend! You wanna say hello? Sure you do. So, just hold on a second, alright? I have to get him out! It's so dark in this cave that I can barely see a foot in front of my hand - not a real foot, okay, the measure of distance... Aah, that's better, finally getting a little light in here, so I can finally whip out my secret weapon!
So, come on out, Jude-- Hey, Jude? Don't be afraid... now you're just making me look bad. Are you even in here? If you think hiding's going to work, you still have a lot to learn. I mean, I guess for that matter, so do I. At least right now I can rely on my razor-sharp mind, you know? Wait, you guys wouldn't know anything about that. From what I can see... and I can see it pretty well, your brains are more like pea soup. Which begs the question, why does Miss Elizabeth rely on you? I'm unquestionably the better choice here!
Sheesh, you try to help a lady out, offering your skills up like that and what does she do? She throws you in a dank, dark cave with a bunch of her lackeys. She didn't even give me a pick-axe... not that I'm entirely sure what she wanted me to do in here. I wonder if she's gonna give me the option of ever coming out. You'd think that would go without saying, but nooo. Some of you guys look like you've been in here a while. Talk about a pallid demeanor. Isn't this inhumane? I don't get paid enough for this-- wait, I'm not getting paid at all!
Just because you think I'm a kid, it doesn't mean you can just skip out on that part, you know. Aren't I at the upper end of the age range anyway? You didn't have to give me a lollipop and a sticker with my name on it... So I'm a camper... so what? I'm definitely not a happy one! --You know what? That's it, I've had it. So maybe I didn't think this through entirely, but whatever! I got pulled into this mess, I'll yank myself out. Come on, you guys. With my brains, and whatever's left of your brawn - I know there's not a lot, but we gotta work with what we've got - we'll definitely get out of here.
But first, lunch. And we'll skip the pea soup for brains. Aren't I thoughtful?
Poll Vote!
Character: Captain Zelnick
Series: Star Control II
Character Age: 19
Canon: The year is 2156 AD, and the universe needs saving from the Ur-Quan, who aim to enslave and/or kill all other sentients. And, as these things always go, a precocious human teenager becomes humanity’s only hope for survival.
Zelnick is endlessly curious about everything he comes across in his travels, often pestering hostile alien races repeatedly to hear their entire species’ history, despite the all too evident risks of sudden and creative annihilation at their hand-equivalents. It was this curiosity that led him to mess around in the shipyard of Precursor technology discovered on the planet Unzervalt he and a small group of scientists were stranded on, thus becoming the only one with the ability to pilot the starship that would lead the rebellion against the Ur-Quan Hierarchy.
This doesn’t mean Zelnick’s a good choice for saviour of the universe. He’s tactless, easily fooled and prone to throwing around childish (and rather inventive) insults at whomever he’s supposed to be making diplomatic relations with if things turn sour, regardless of whether or not they have a weapon that could vaporize him within seconds. But being a bad choice doesn’t make him a bad guy; Zelnick is naturally helpful and friendly to everyone he meets. His trusting nature may screw him over on occasion but it just as often helps him build strong alliances with those who return it in kind.
Really, at heart, Zelnick is just a nice guy trying to do the right thing, especially if the right thing includes wondering how evil sentient fungi would taste fried in butter.
Sample Post:
Greetings, sentient beings. I am Captain Zelnick of the New Alliance of Free Stars and commander of the starship Vindicator. I’m here in response to the distress signals you’ve been blasting throughout the quadrant. The message sounded urgent, but didn’t tell me what the problem was or where I could find you, just a lot of ancient human music telling me where I was. Fortunately, it could be tracked to this planet and found to originate from your lonely island. The signal has taken over all our channels and managed to damage a section of our translation equipment- and yours too, I think, since the Vindicator is more of a ship than a boat.
In any case, I stand ready to assist you, so what’s the problem? Civilization here seems to be a distinctly lacking in the technology department- not to mention the basic living requirements. This is a really primitive planet, isn’t it? But I suppose that if you can manage interstellar communication you can’t be that backwater. At least you have a good healthcare system and impressive medical expertise, since you don’t seem at all bothered by your arm dropping off like that.
…Actually, you guys don’t seem very bothered by anything. What was the point of the distress signal? This place seems more distressing than distressed, what with the mysterious gaseous mists and questionably luminescent natural features my scanners are detecting. Don’t tell me I fell for anoth- that you guys were just playing a prank! Now that I’ve come all this way surely there’s something I can do for you. Make an exchange that is mutually beneficial to both parties. You know, you scratch my back I scratch…the south side of your north-facing skin expanse. Expanses. Uh. You must have a thousand of them. Wow. You must be their leader. Surely we can come to some sort of peaceful agreement?
Here, let me make you an offer. My scanners tell me you are in possession of an artifact of distinct personal interest to my crew and I, one that protects you against dangerous mental compulsions. Would you be willing to tra- NO! No I will not do…do that with you. Isn’t there an alternative? One that doesn’t involve your tentacles anywhere near my person. When I said negotiations, I meant my back, not my backside!
Poll Vote!
Character: Li Shang
Series: Mulan
Character Age: 18 (estimated, based on having recently completed training, his lack of experience, etc.)
Canon: "Mulan" is the story of an ancient Chinese girl of the same name, who disguises herself as a male and joins the army in her crippled father's place, ultimately saving the country from the invading Huns. Along the way, it's up to the untested young Imperial Captain Li Shang to train the army's new recruits and stop the invaders. Shang is an expert soldier, and he's out to prove he's a good enough leader to turn the rag-tag boys his country sends him into respectable army men. The only problem? He's trying to make a man out of Fa "Ping," never realizing the awkward boy is actually a girl in drag until a medic points it out to him.
Despite his repeated failure to recognize traps whether crossdresser or Hun ambusher, Shang really isn't that bad. The son of a general, Shang just wants to live up to the expectations his lineage sets. He spends most of his time playing the exasperated straight man and scary drill sergeant--but in private he still indulges youthful dreams of creating "the greatest troops of all time," and occasionally that intimidating exterior will slip to show a doofy interior. Shang tends to display a straight-laced adherence to the ideals and sexist traditions of China's culture at the time. But if he's given enough reasons, he is capable of occasionally opening his mind to unorthodox ideas. Like not killing the woman who saves his life and country even though the law calls for it. Strength and discipline are his strongest qualities, and he tries to pass that on to his soldiers.
Note: Shang, like Mulan, is being taken from before their arrival at the burnt-out village.
Sample Post: You're out of uniform, mister!
Do you think that body hair makes you a man? I don't care if you are as hairy as a gorilla, or how easy it'll be to recognize you--you will wear that uniform! It isn't just about being able to see who's an enemy and who's an ally. A uniform symbolizes what you're fighting for, the country you might die for. Discarding those clothes dishonors everything you're supposed to stand for! Not only that, but if you rely on standing apart from your brothers in arms, seeking personal glory, you might as well be painting a target on yourself. Forget glory--put those clothes on, do your country and family proud, and count yourself lucky if you've only shamed yourself by the time I'm through with you.
Look, I understand that this "track" uniform is not standard. I intend to have words with the quartermaster about giving the new recruits the correct supplies. But in the meantime, we make do. Those may not be the clothes you or I might choose to march off to war in, but do not fool yourself into thinking that the Huns will give us the luxury of choice! You are limited to a choice between honor and dishonor. There is no option three.
The rest of you, listen up! Every day that your friend here thinks that he can indulge himself by spending the day naked, you will all have to spend the day cleaning each and every inch of this sorry excuse for a camp! By the time I'm done with you, the wood of those cabins will look polished and the latrines will smell like a woman's garden. And don't even think about asking the women here for help--I'm going to send them away myself.
What do you mean, the men and women prefer not to fraternize with each other? Soldier, do yourself a favor. I don't care who you fraternize with, so in the future, if I do not ask you a question, don't tell. I'm sending them away because this is no place for a woman. Now, you're all dismiss--Soldier! I told you to put on a uniform, not women's clothing!
Don't make excuses to me, soldier. I know all about setting up a trap, and there isn't a single one that involves you wearing a dress.
Poll Vote!
Character: Apollo
Series: Olympos
Character Age: Immortal and pretty old! But he's referred to as a "red-haired pretty boy" and looks like a teenager.
Canon: The problem with the Greek gods is that their lives were the soap operas of the ancient times, with 'Days of our Inbred Titanic Offspring' and 'Married with Swans' as popular titles. The beginning of Olympos is deceptively tame in comparison: "God" appears before a young man and makes a contract with him: bring the reclusive Ganymede out of a miniature garden, and he will have a happy marriage. With a kiss to seal the contract, the young man eagerly sets off on his quest. Too bad for him, the "God" he made his bargain with was hardly the benevolent Christian God, but rather Apollo.
Described as a "loud, showy braggart" by Ganymede, Apollo is flamboyant and taunting. He is the epitome of haughty, imparting his "divine wisdom" whether or not the other party wants to hear it, and mostly referring to himself as "God." More than a little vain, Apollo has a strong sense of superiority to humanity as a whole; humans are dirty and foolish. Childish and immature, Apollo has no problem setting up contracts he knows people can't fulfill or being cruel for his own sadistic amusement. Basically Apollo is one part asshole, two parts bully, and one part magical shoujo flower petals and sparkles.
Sample Post:
Listen up, Grarrgh and Hurrg. I get that humans are full of petty wishes, and that you dead humans are even worse. But we've made what you'd call a contract. Tit for tat, brains for a favor. Get it? Don't even think about trying to weasel out of this, and don't you dare think about women's underwear, I don't care if really want a pair to sniff. Humans have such dirty minds. God knows when you've been good, and I know when you've been bad. You've got some nerve, thinking you can just call me here - I had to kiss you! Ugh, so nasty! - and expect me to just give you what you want.
Here's how it goes. Everything you've heard about God is true. I know what goes on between those rotting excuses for ears you've got. And you've made me kind of angry, so you better follow another one of those little sayings. What was it? Ahahaha! That's right! The best way to find God is on your knees, so get down and start apologizing! Oh, stop your groaning, just shut up and suck it.
... close enough. Actually, that's as close as you should ever get. Humans should stick to the things they're best at, crawling around on the mud. How about this! I'll give you the brains you so desperately want if you do this little thing for me. There's this boy who thinks the world and its sorrows revolves around his own little tragedy. He's holed himself up, see, and refuses to come out. He needs to cheer up and walk down the right road instead of just going across the street. So! The deal is, you make him realize how small and insignificant his problems are, and I'll give you brains.
Look, don't think too much. You called for me didn't you? You thought: Dear God, braaainnnnsss. So I came! Even if you didn't think that, you would have. God never tells a lie, you know. Even if it seems like a lie at the time, that's only because you just don't have enough faith.
Sigh. If you have to think of it in your own meager terms, then think of it this way: God came prematurely.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hikaru Ichijyo
Series: Super Dimensional Fortress Macross
Character Age: 16
Canon: Macross is the time honored love story between a boy, his airplane, and two women in space. And like most wholesome love-stories, there's a war going on. Hikaru was just your ordinary top-gun quality fly-boy until the day giant aliens from beyond the stars decided to show up and start blasting things... so he did what any red blooded man would do! Get his butt stuck in a fighter plane and accidentally launch into battle. Of course from there it was just a hop skip and a jump into being a full-time military pilot! Hikaru loves his job. Except for the getting shot at part. And the never having time for girls part. And pretty much every part except for the flying part. That's his favorite.
Hikaru's got an interesting courtship method- his idea of a perfect date is getting trapped alone in some desolate place with a nice girl for a few days with little hope of rescue. He's such a romantic- Then after wards his charming personality and bubbling confidence are real winners among the ladies! It only takes him 36 episodes to reel the woman of his dreams in and seal the deal! Yeah, Hikaru has it all. Looks, Charm, Derp, Derp, a little more Derp... Okay so look, he's a dork with a plane. He's a well meaning dork with a plane!
Sample Post: Oi oi, what is this place!? Camp... CAMP W-WHAT!? Y-You've gotta be joking me! Crap, how do I always end up in spots like this? One minute you're whirling around like a bird in the sky, not a care in the world except for the Zentradi pods trying to shoot you down, the next minute you're in some weirdo place like this!
I guess the more things change the more they stay the same, right? Zentradi, Zombie, as long as I'm being chased by big green things I should feel right at home! Well, at least you guys aren't 20 feet tall... Smell's off-putting, but I can get used to that... and nobody yelling at me through the comm is a good touch! So long as I can still fly- wait, I can still fly, right? Tell me I can still fly!!
I know! I can teach all of you guys how! It's not so hard, I'm sure you can manage it! I can picture it now, the first all-zombie flight school- My old man will be so proud of me... and like, if any of them crash, they'll be alright anyhow! Well, not the plane so much... Maybe we should start with gliders... O-oi, d-don't look at me like that! At least I think you're looking at me- one of your eyes is... I'm just trying to help, really!
Crap, I just thought of something! Oh man, with as often as I get trapped alone with girls... for days and days on end... Not here! Anywhere but here! I don't have zombie insurance! Sure, we wouldn't have to worry about food, I guess... but wait, that means I'm the food! Oi, Somebody get me out of here! S-Sempai, don't leave me with the zombies! Zero-G Love is one thing, but Zero-Brain Love? N-No thank you!
Poll Vote!
Character: Morgana
Series: Merlin
Character Age: 21
Canon: Based (a bit loosely) off of the Arthurian legends, Merlin is the BBC hit detailing the story of how Merlin and Arthur met, with a bit of a twist: they're both the same age. Not only that: Merlin is not an accomplished wizard, Guinevere is a hand servant, and Arthur is a bit of a prat (to say the least). Between the almost constant threats on Arthur's life, whether accidental or magical, Merlin is a tale of two halves of the same coin on a crash course with a great destiny. In the series, Morgana is Uther Pendragon's ward. Though Uther would like to portray her as a prize to be won because of her great beauty, she's far from simple eye candy.
Morgana at first seems like Arthur's surrogate sister. Or they certainly fight like brother and sister at any rate. Morgana is always ready and willing to put Arthur back in his place, lest he get a little too high for the crown on his head. Aside from that, Morgana has a strong moral compass and quick wits about her. She is willing to go the distance for what she believes is right, and next to nothing will make her back down once she's established her side of a fight. She is a compassionate, caring, stubborn person, and is more than willing to spend a night in the dungeon to prove her point, and that is certainly no way to stop her from sharpening her tongue on the wrongdoer's feelings. Though one might be tempted to think that she's really all talk, she's more than willing to pick up a sword, should the need ever arise for it.
Sample Post:
I had thought that you had meant an actual sickness had overtaken your land in your letter, not that the dead had! What would you have me do, then? Why, you didn’t even give me warning or notice of a problem of this sort, and now I have no sword to best handle this problem. Have you only half a brain? Well… you’ve enough of one to know that the dead should not be walking, but not enough to know that this is not a sickness of any sort.
Well, you’ve a mouth. Speak! I am willing to help you with this problem, but I cannot do this if you will not speak to me. We are equals, yes? This is why you wrote asking for my aid, is it not? It did seem odd that you would trust me to cure this problem and not a physician... I certainly do not have the “right equipment” that you wrote of. And now I do not even have a sword with which I’d thrust into the very foul nature of these beasts.
Get a hold of yourself! There is nothing crawling in your skin, and if there are wounds that will not heal, then you should seek a physician this instant. I don’t know how to cure sickness! Come, if you need my aid, rest on my shoulders. Together, we’ll find someone that can help us… And a weapon, hopefully. This area… Seefeud, the water looks so strange... Though, do not take me for an ignorant-I am not the sort of girl who would only stick to the rivers and lakes that I’m used to. Anyone could see that that water is not fit for drink-
Unhand me this instant! You…! You lecherous--! I can’t believe you would think of that at a time like this. Have you no morals?! Of all the ignorant, barbaric, rude… Well, perhaps I have been far too quick to speak. It seems that most of my words have simply confused you. Please, let’s start again. You started to talk of your sword? How perfect, of course I’d love to handle it! It would be my honor. After all, it seems I am lacking the right equipment for what I intend to do.
Let me rip your sword from you~. I’m certain you won’t be needing it anymore after today, and you seemed as though you really didn’t know how to use it. If you question my skill... well, I can certainly handle a sword better than any man.
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