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- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed~!
Character name: Poseidon
Series: Olympos
Age: Immortal, looks around his 30s
Job: Vocal Coach
Canon: Olympos is a story involving Greek Gods that starts off with a young man who is praying for his wish to be granted. In comes Apollo, a God who says he'll grant this wish, should the young man successfully complete the task of getting a recluse to go to the end of the world... but wait a second, that's not the only God! We're talking about Greek mythology here, and there happens to be a couple other Gods involved in the story as well. One of them happens to be Poseidon, the God of the sea.
Poseidon is usually the one annoyed with how Apollo doesn't take being a God seriously. Then again, Apollo thinks he's a moron, but that's probably because Poseidon thinks a whole lot differently from him; Gods need to act like Gods. Unlike him, Poseidon is never out to deliberately torment and assault humans. In fact, he takes his role seriously... except for when he's playing harmless pranks on humans for the lulz. He can be summed up as blunt, loud ("LISTEN UP! IT'S GOD!"), surrounded by an air of confidence, and whimsical. Oh, and let's not forget he has a thing for really big temples.
Sample Entry:
Vocal lessons? That's what you called me here for? It's a good idea, your people do need something like that... but all I've heard you say so far is "braaains". Besides, singing isn't an area of my expertise. However, since I'm already here, we can improvise. How about I teach you how to yell instead? Hm. Know what, that's just what I'll do! Teach you how to yell!
First off: having a sea would help to give me encouragement, but it looks like you don't have one. That's a big disappointment. I guess that'll be okay. Any old large body of water will have to make do for now. It's a shame this place is landlocked; it's not suitable, considering it's bare of--don't interrupt me! It's inconsiderate to stop a God in his trail of thought!
This can't be a lake. Have you looked closely at the water? The sea I'm used to is not this thick and pink. It never glowed like this! It can't even be safe. Look, I understand that you want those lessons, and I can't blame you, but this--fine. I'll just make do with this since I'm already here. I'm a God, after all, I can make this "lake" of yours work! Here's a warm-up. First, you'll want to inhale deeply. Careful, don't somehow hurt yourself like that guy over there. Continuing now! You need to be able to feel your lungs filling with air and, right when you feel that burn in your chest, yell with all your might; like this!
BRAINS!!
Hahahaha! None of you are even on your feet anymore! It's too bad you guys won't come close to doing anything as incredible as that. Then again, that's for the best... What's this, an offering? It's generous, but I don't need your leg. In fact, I don't even know what I could do with a leg as... it's falling apart! Keep it, I honestly don't know what I could do with something like that..
Now, you know that even with my teaching you'll never come close to doing as well as that, right? It's practically impossible. Instead, why don't you put your time into something meaningful? I'm saying that if you guys want me to stay at this "camp" so badly, you'll have to fill my one request:
Build me a temple. A big one.
Poll Vote! Character name: Captain Hammer
Series: Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
Age: Looks to be in his 30’s
Job: Instructor In How to Become Awesome (But Not As Awesome As Me)
Canon: [There are some spoilers in at the end.]
Dr Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog is a musical about Dr Horrible, a supervillain who is attempting to get into the Evil League of Evil. The Evil League of Evil needs to evaluate him first though, so he plans his crimes, hoping to commit something so good (in a bad way) that he will be accepted by Bad Horse, (who, yes, is literally a horse) the leader of the league. But he also has an arch nemesis, Captain Hammer, to make things even trickier.
Captain Hammer is incredibly narcissistic, incredibly strong, and nearly invincible. The only things he’s missing are smarts and tact. He loves attention and will milk it for all it’s worth whenever he’s in the spotlight. He is seen by the public as a magnificent, caring superhero, though the only one he really tends to care for is himself. He doesn’t like Dr Horrible at all and tends to be a jerk to him; giving him wedgies and hitting him in the face. And once Captain Hammer finds out that Penny, the girl he’s dating, is the girl Dr Horrible has a crush on, he continues the relationship, even though he doesn’t care about her, mainly to bother Dr Horrible.
This is pretty much where the spoilers are. Captain Hammer ended up feeling pain for what could have been the first time when hit by Dr Horrible’s Death Ray. He is seen in therapy for this at the end. In case anyone’s wondering, I’m taking Captain Hammer post series, though there’s not much of this mentioned in the app as Captain Hammer’s not one to harp on any of his weaknesses and I figure after a lot of those therapy sessions he would be at a point where he would want to get back into doing normal things to prove he was still very awesome and would want to forget all about the Death Ray and not spend time thinking about that. In fact, Death Ray? What Death Ray? That never happened if you ask him.
Sample Entry:
Camp Fuck You Die… I’m sure this was the right choice. Of all the camps out there, this sounds like the perfect place to start cleaning the evil out of! Just what I need, after all I do have to stay in shape. Well, hah… I don’t really need to do anything else to stay as very perfect as I already am, but the ladies do love seeing me thwart dangerous villains by putting my very own life in danger; my muscles rippling as I flex my arm in the manliest of ways to give them plenty of warning, which makes it even more dangerous and dramatic for me!
It doesn’t matter though; I do describe the stories about my heroicness so well. They’ll be impressed, even if they just have to listen to me tell about my amazing strength and how perfectly my hair blows in the wind.
Ah-hah! You there! Yes, you with the rotten arm and the features of a horribly diseased person - ew - point me in the direction of the ladies’ cabins! Wait! Hold that thought. This looks like the kind of horrible place that might have a horrible doctor. If there happens to be an evil, yet pathetic scientist dork around, point me towards him! ….as long as he doesn’t have a death ray, not that anything like that stopped me before… You didn’t hear about that, right? No? Oh good, phew. Yeah, a death ray, hah, that couldn’t do anything, but, well, uh, it could make me look like I was showing off.
…
Come on now, the longer you wait, the longer I’ll be standing here, making you look bad…worse. And it must already be hard for you to make friends when you look like that. I’d offer to help you out with that, but I don’t know how it feels. I’m sort of a big deal superhero. I have lots of fans out there, so I could easily have lots of friends. In fact, I’m sure even if you don’t have friends to spread the news with, I’m sure you’ve heard of me. Let me just stop you before you start. Yes, I’m that Captain Hammer. Dashing, wonderful, super strong, how do I do it, right? Also a great hot-homali…tarian? Was that what they called me? … hotali… hotmali… humali… humani… Ah! Humanitarian. I’m a great Humanitarian. Yes, overall I’m just pretty amazing. In fact that’s probably why I got the job here… Oh right, the job. I have to help these… adorable little brats find good things about themselves. ew. Okay, I guess I will be remarkably generous and help you out too, sort of as a practice round.
Okay, let’s get started right away. You look pretty bad, but we’ll try and find some things you’re good at. Even though, judging from the outside, the skills you have inside probably aren’t any better... so you should probably clear your schedule. There’s going to be a lot to work on.
Poll Vote! Character name: Lucrecia Crescent
Series: Final Fantasy 7 Compilation, specifically Dirge of Cerberus.
Age: 26. Physically. Mentally, older than dirt (somewhere around Vincent's age, due to fun science-y things done to her.)
Job: Science tutor for the Camp Full of Undereducated Dimbulbs
Canon: Dirge of Cerberus is an off-shoot of the Final Fantasy 7 Compilation, featuring none other than Vincent Valentine as the semi-silent protagonist out to save the Planet from Deepground, the fantastic "We live under the ShinRa building as super soldiers with horrible fashion sense" underground organization that made the plot to Dirge of Cerberus non-sensical. Along the way, he gets to beat up on some bad guys, remember some really awesome (and not so awesome) times that include Lucrecia (his love interest for probably the rest of his never ending life) and Hojo, the man that would become his rival in love for the fair scientist Lucrecia. Vincent gets lucky and gets to have a hand in stopping Hojo once more when Hojo resurfaces and wears Weiss, the leader of Deepground, as a meatbag costume to make himself look pretty. Yes, it totally makes sense, we swear. During the course of the game, Lucrecia is a help to him, in both pointing him in the right direction, and by saving him in the end from Chaos.
Lucrecia, despite many many screw-ups, is really just out to help people. The problem is, her methods (such as in Vincent's case) aren't always the best that they could have been. These methods include: after seeing Hojo shoot Vincent, Lucrecia decides that in order to save his life, he's going to have to be fused in some weird way to Chaos, the being that is going to end all life on the Planet. Chaos was also the topic of her thesis (Chaos and Omega) that others in the ShinRa Science Brigade decided was laughable. Despite all of that, when she's NOT around Hojo she's seen to be playful, incredibly plotting for pranks, and more of herself. She has her freakouts, and they tend to include a hideous not!disease that has Angst and Emo and Woe as symptoms when she's upset over something, usually Hojo's treatment over her, or the fact that she saw Vincent shot or just from stress. Around Hojo, she tends to be more reserved and studious, not wanting to set him off. Even still, she's a curious thing, wanting to find out as much information on things that interest her as she can. Oddities will pique her interest, and while she's not for full-out human experimentation, it won't stop her from following someone around and taking notes if she's that interested.
Sample Entry:
...I'm afraid to ask how I got here, and where exactly I am in general. All I got was this pamphlet that doesn't say anything but 'brains!' over and over, and that... really tells me nothing, aside from there being zombies here. They looked upset at being... well, shuffling undead, so I tried using something I found called a 'Holy Water' on one. They didn't really enjoy having a bottle of it being broken on them, but lucky for me they can't run after me! I think they've finally given up the chase, and I can probably try to document them now, and figure out why what I think is the cure for a zombie-like status didn't work on them. ...maybe they've been undead for far too long? I'd hate to see what a Cure spell would do to them if that's the case, though if that Holy Water was any indication, it would probably only cure chronic back pain on them.
It's time to go find out what wild zombies do though, since zombies seem to be such a popular subject nowadays, and maybe, just maybe, someone will actually read a thesis I write! And everyone thought I was mad for writing a thesis on the Chaos and Omega theory. Obviously a paper on zombies would be so much better than a well-thought out thesis on something that is a prediction to the end of the world. No one likes to read about something terrible that might inconvenience their way of life. Now lets see...
Notes On the Society of Wild Zombies: Part One by Lucrecia Crescent
As far as I can tell, these zombies have a resistance, if not immunity, to 'Holy Water' that was tried unsucessfully on them. They were not fond of glass breaking over their heads as I threw the bottle at them, which unfortunately for one, fell on his head. Perhaps a stronger version of Holy Water, if possible? So far, the subjects seem to have some feeling left in their decaying bodies, a very short term memory, and have stopped their pursuit of me- what little they gave after I tried my experiment- to feast upon my brains due to limited mobility and speed. I have to wonder if zombies have great feasts on grey matter as a group, or if they merely hunt alone for their food? Note to self: find this out somehow, once a willing assistant is found to do so.
Oh! How strange! Another group of these wandering rotting corpses has a strange dance going on-- a ritualistic dance, perhaps? Do they have a strange zombie god that they pray to when they have trapped their prey to eat? I didn't think that zombies, with their rotting flesh and body parts sliding off of their bodies, could move like that. It's almost entertaining to watch, in fact! ...they can also speak beyond saying 'brains'- note that they're saying 'Thriller night', or something close to that. Note to self: find out the meaning of "Thriller Night." It seems very important. How fascinating. This can be researched later, all things considered, since it looks like I'll be here a while, with no way of knowing how I ended up here and there's no foreseeable way for me to actually leave. I should also see into finding protective covering for myself- I don't want to be first on a menu for food for anything that may or may not be zombies.
Maybe I should change my title from 'ShinRa Scientist' to 'Zombie Doctor'. It only seems appropriate with what I think will be a new pastime around here for me, and I unfortunately have experience with working on stiff men who should be dead but aren't.
Poll Vote! Character: Ryuu F. Kazuhiko
Series:
CLOVERCharacter Age: Mid-20s
Job: Handyman
Canon: To understand CLOVER’s plot there is really only one fact you have to know: CLAMP loves steampunk almost as much as they love tragedy. The story revolves around Kazuhiko, former member of a black ops military team, who is hired to take a young girl to a rundown amusement park in the middle of a hostile post-apocalyptic city. On the way, he discovers that their pasts are linked not only to each other, but also to the deepest military coverups of his country.
Despite having resigned from the army to become a private contractor after the death of his lover, Kazuhiko seems to have maintained his covert, guarded character. He’s smart and a good tactician, very capable in a crisis. Of course he's also cocky, irreverent and insubordinate, the type of guy who will simultaneously give you his unconditional support and threaten to dirty up your corpse if you don't take the offer. Despite his dry approach, his confidence is earnest and his judgments are balanced and trustworthy. And he has a good heart, which he expresses with casual affection or sardonic camaraderie depending on the person.
Kazuhiko’s primary weapon is his prosthetic hand. With a recent military upgrade, it can become almost any weaponry, from a sword to a shield to a bazooka taller than he is.
Sample Post
I made a promise with somebody once. I told him that he couldn't die before me. Now, I have to admit, some of that was just selfishness. One thing you learn in the army is that death is just never a pretty thing. But crap, I don't think I'd ever seen it get as ugly as this before. I've got to say that "don't die because you just might come back and be an uglier piece of meat than before" is an argument that never occurred to me.
Maybe you're wondering what kind of guy thinks about this stuff to begin with. My name's Kazuhiko, and I'm a mercenary. It seems I've been hired, and I use the term loosely because this really is not what I signed up for, to be your all around general handyman. Or if you prefer, hired hand. That's kind of a joke, because I'm pretty sure the only thing I can do for you kids involves loading up this rifle on my wrist and getting rid of a few of your rotting friends over there. Surprised? Come on, it's still a handgun. Even if it's kind of unusually literal. And nothing's better than giving someone you hate the finger, am I right? It's just that mine happens to do a little damage.
Usually anyway. Actually, I’m not even sure I’m going to be able to do that. This thing keeps morphing around when I don’t tell it to. Damn military, trust them to give me a piece they hadn’t worked the kinks out of yet. I guess some things really don't change. Good people, some of them, but when it comes to that organization's relationship with me they're still so completely, reliably... unreliable. There it goes again. One minute I’m actually packing heat, and the next I’ve got a corkscrew on my wrist. I feel like a swiss army knife. Better take a look at that as soon as I've got a minute to myself.
I do have some other observations on your situation, but after taking a look around I'm not sure how useful they'd really be. I assume the protection those cabins give you is enough to keep the monsters out, otherwise you’d all be piles of guts right now. ...sorry if the language upsets anybody, but it’s just the simple truth. Still if anyone needs help making their home a little more defensible, I’ve got some tips and tricks we could use. A locked door might make you feel secure, but it doesn't really do much. You should be reinforcing every entrance, including the ones you wouldn't normally think of, like windows. Better yet, don't even let anyone get near your house without you knowing it. A lot of normal objects, like pretty much anything metal, can be strung up as traps. They won't do a lot of damage, but they will make enough noise to put you on your guard. If anybody needs help doing this, I'm gonna keep myself available.
Me and my trusty penlight, we’ll be right there for you.
Poll Vote! Character Name: Ancient Rome
Series:
Axis Powers HetaliaAge: Almost 30 centuries, but looks to be in his 30s
Job: History Teacher
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia is a webcomic/manga/anime that portrays the struggles, alliances and just plain weird events of world history through anthropomorphized countries. The story begins with the original imperialist, Ancient Rome, on whose shoulders rest the foundations of Western civilization. Commanding colossal armies, he conquers lands from Africa to England, holding the riches of the Mediterranean in his palm. But one day, despite his seemingly limitless power, Rome mysteriously vanishes.
Rome may have been built on iron and bloodshed, but he has a lover's soul in a soldier's body, unable to resist a pretty girl (or another strong man) and good wine and art. Though proud of his accomplishments, he is saddened to see others make the same mistakes he did in his quest for glory and empire. However, there are a few things the history books left out about him, such as his talents for singing and ukulele-playing.
Quick Latin lesson: auxilia- soldiers; Salvete- Hello; promulsis- appetizers; vino- wine
Sample Entry:
Come on, all of you! Line up straight like good little auxilia.
Salvete, campers! There's a saying that came about after my time, "Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it." It seems like most of you have not taken that advice to heart. Thus, I have been assigned here as your instructor of history.
You should never doubt the importance of history! It contains many lessons and warnings you can use in every day life: how to negotiate, fight and even love. Do you have annoying neighbors? Simply send in your army, kill their leader, prop up your own provincial governors and enslave anyone who resists. An idiot boss? Bribe some of his guards to kill him and sell his family into slavery. In my life I've dealt with many kinds of people, and there's no reason we can not all get along- at the point of a sword, that is! Well, except for maybe those strange, leprous creatures wandering around camp. Their stench is more wretched than a Gaul's.
Moving on- To the ladies here, are you jealous of a friend who is more beautiful than you? Just make her fall in love with the ugliest man in the world! However, she might begin dating your son to get back at you. Venus is still bitter about that one--
--Oh, young lady, you are eager to learn more? You must be, considering how you are clinging to my arm. And biting it. What could have angered a god so much to curse such a lovely woman with that rotten complexion? I know, a little sun would do you good! I discovered a perfect spot earlier with a beautiful view of the lake. Perhaps you would like a lesson on how the Romans were the greatest lovers of the ancient world? We could have some promulsis, maybe a little vino... I'll show you what brought Mother Egypt and Mother Greece to their knees...
...Where was I? Oh, yes! The moral of this story: History is full of amazing things, but also warnings, so you should always listen to your elders. That bit of advice is best expressed in a song:
Ah-hem.
If you wish to be your world's hero,
Your doubt in your kings should be Zero.
But heed what I say:
Run the other way,
If your leader turns out to be Nero.
Poll Vote! Character name: Hyobu Kyosuke
Series:
Zettai Karen ChildrenCharacter Age: 83 (looks like he's in his twenties)
Job: Corrupter of Super Powered Youths
Canon: Imagine Earth in a state where espers are common place, with powers such as telekinesis, psychometry and teleportation. Got that? Now picture three pre-teen girls each having one of those powers, at such a level that they are as dangerous as weapons of mass destruction, yet work for the good of humanity with an organization called B.A.B.E.L.! Those three girls are known as "The Children." Add in their supervisor who is nearly double their age yet they all want to mack on, along with a criminal esper organization called P.A.N.D.R.A. which they constantly do battle with! Finally, mix in a third evil organization called Black Phantom and you have the setting for Zettai Karen Children.
Leader of P.A.N.D.R.A., Hyobu leads the group toward one ultimate goal; A perfect world where espers can live in peace. That is to say, a world without any normal people in it at all. Due to being betrayed (and shot) by one whom he explicitly trusted in the past, he has a unshakable hatred of normals. Yet despite this happening nearly 60 years ago, he still has a very immature personality. He finds a good deal of fun in tormenting normals, yet can be your BFF if you're an esper. In general, how he acts toward someone depends entirely on if he finds them amusing or if they have ESP. Speaking of ESP, Hyobu has a long list of powers, such as telekinesis, mind reading, teleportation and hypnosis to name a few, but half of the time he just uses his power to mess with people. While the other half he uses them to kill. In the end though, what it all comes down to is that Hyobu is essentially a super powered troll.
Sample Entry:
Good evening, campers. I know what you're thinking-- no, really, I do. And if you'll excuse my complete and utter disregard for holding back, frankly, I find it mildly disgusting. I mean, why would they put bits of undead in the soup? I can tell the majority of you find it positively revolting, but that is common for food in a camp out in the middle of nowhere, right? It just warrants a bit of manning up. Who knows, you might enjoy the taste of zombie on such a level that it allows you to eat them instead. Hah! Wouldn't that make for a nice change of pace? You all shambling after the poor rotting corpses? We could call it the Left 4 Dinner disease. Maybe even set up a game show or two around it, forcing you to struggle through an obstacle course to reach the rancid flesh! Ah yes, that would be quality entertainment.
My desire to turn you all into a smash hit TV show aside, allow me to inform you of my role here. You see, I will be your guiding hand. Or if you prefer it, a teacher. Here to provide a select few of you with some much needed education. What kind of education, you may ask? It is a very simple yet necessary kind. For now, let's just call it... "Power Abuse 101." As for what this lovely teaching entails, let me provide an example. Say you possess telekinesis. Now, we will be making use of that power to constantly pull something juuuust out of reach of someone with no powers. Then, we stop when they grab on, only to slam it right into their face as hard as possible! Abusive, yet usually not lethal. Fun for telekinetics of all ages!
Let's go over a few more shining examples. Telepathy! We'll start with shoving the voices of others into our poor victim's head, slowly driving them to the breaking point. Then just before they snap, make them think the cause is a nearby friend! Traumatic and friendship shaking! A excellent combo, if I do say so myself. Moving on from that, how about illusions? You all know that lovely monster in the lake on an almost intimate level, correct? Well, how about making half of the population think she's actually a drop dead gorgeous woman, waiting with open arms for them to leap in and save her? A service not only to our amusement, but to her as well!
Heh heh... Right then! With the basic idea covered, let's start practicing. With my help, you'll all be putting the "fuck you" back in Camp Fuck You Die in no time!
Poll Vote!