(no subject)
First round! I cannot tell if LJ is slow or if it's my crappy desktop making everything slower. Let's see if I can kick both into letting me post this.
guess how many times firefox crashed while trying to format and post this!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closedddd.
Character: Cheryl Shane Kates
Series: Vassalord
Character Age: Around 10, probably. Prepubescent, anyway.
Canon: One is a badass cyborg vampire mercenary who works for the Vatican and the other is a gay playboy master vampire. Together, they fight other vampires. ...is the plot of Vassalord in a nutshell. Charley, the cyborg vampire, takes on cases of vampire crime and eliminates the offenders, and drags along his master and boyfriend, Johnny, as his portable snack. They get by well enough, though sometimes they need a little help from Johnny's twin sister, the vampiress Rayfell, and from Rayfell's extremely underage lover and human servant, Cheryl.
Cheryl may be young and cute, but don't take her lightly. She's a vampire hunter who has holy anti-vampire powers, and a scythe twice her size, and is guaranteed to become a vampire after she dies (though she's rather hoping to hit puberty and develop a smokin' hot body first). Though SHE'd rather that you underestimate her - she looooves pretending to be an adorable little clutz to draw in helpless suckers or to trick her targets. In actuality, she's deeply sardonic, violent, and able to swear like a sailor, not to mention incredibly intelligent and with a near-encyclopedic knowledge of the supernatural that she's happy to infodump on any pretext. Cheryl is perfectly willing to threaten and beat up friends and enemies alike to get what she wants out of a situation, whether it's getting information from a client or getting back at her master Rayfell for cheating on her again (and again, and again). But if that doesn't work - and even if the people around her know her better than that - she's more than ready to fall back on her cute and cuddly super religious holy-girl persona, dress up in a nun costume, and work the dewy-eyed helpless God-be-praised whatever-will-I-do-iyaaaa angle instead.
Sample app:
Oh nooooooo!! Mr. Bear, please stop chasing me! T-there's no way a helpless little girl like me could outrun you! Eeeek, you're going to catch me, what should I do? O God, please protect your holy daughter from this ravening bear! Don't let it tear off my habit or have its way with my helpless nubile little underage virginal and pure body! N-nnooo, hearing that made it run faster! I-it's almost caught me! Mr. Bear, please, I'm sorry, I'll do anything, like shove my goddamn scythe so far up your ass you choke on the tip, you fucker!
...Well, that's one thing down. Not that it will help unless people learn not to lure these things out of the woods. What am I, a wildlife educator now? Jeez... attention, people of camp! I have arrived and killed the Ursus Pedophilus - the common Pedobear - that I was told was threatening your accustomed lifestyles. Admittedly I'm a little annoyed Ms. Sayre hired a vampire-slayer of my calibre to hunt down a Pedobear just because I'd be "the perfect bait" with my "twiggy and undeveloped body" - which is true but unnecessarily insulting. But I decided to accept this hunt out of the goodness of my heart and a slight amount of enlightened self-interest.
Now, since I heard you were being terrorized by this Pedobear I can only assume that you don't really understand what may make such a normally rare and elusive creature come out of the woods to attack civilization. Some may think it's enough to just have a lot of little children around, so let me set you clear on this matter: it generally requires a lot of easily exploitable and kind of fetishized little children around. If you add in actual pedophiles in the area to fantasize about them, you almost guarantee that the scent of the hormones being released will lure the Pedobear out of its lair; people tend to anthropomorphize the situation by implying the bear is coming to give its "seal of approval" but it's really drawn by the scent and a predator-prey environment. So keep an eye on who's around you and ask yourself: is this a touching bonding moment, or does that child need a different adult? It just might save your life.
Anyway, while we're on the topic of needing an adult, I heard from Ms. Sayre that Master Rayfell is here, and has been here for a while and, gosh, I just can't help but wonder what she's been doing all this time. Golly, I wonder how she's been taking care of herself, or where she's been getting her meals. It's been so long and I've missed her so much, but I just can't help think that she might have been up to something ...unfortunate. In fact, I've also got this theory over who might have attracted a Pedobear down to camp in the first place. So I'd reaaaaaaally appreciate it if you could help me track down this menace to society. ♥ I'm sure the Lord will reward you for your generosity! Just as He won't forgive her her sins.
God be with you~!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kay Faraday
Series: Ace Attorney: Investigations
Character Age: 17
Canon: In the Ace Attorney game series, you play the role of a lawyer and your goal is to prove your client's innocence. You must collect evidence during special investigations, battle wits with prosecutors when in the court room, and while you're at it, find out who the real culprit after pointing out the contradictions in their testimony. In the newest game in the series, you take the role of the prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, a well-known character from the main series, and investigate numerous cases in an effort to uncover the truth. Unlike the previous games, all the crimes get investigated before they reach the courtroom, and it's important to make sure you're accusing the right person. During the cases, you will meet many different people: some enemies, as well as some allies.
One of the allies you meet along the way is Kay Faraday. She's a young girl who introduces herself as the "Great Thief Yatagarasu", even if technically, she just inherited the title and has yet to steal anything. Though she's a thief, she claims time and time again that the only thing she's out to steal is the truth-even if she seems to have a certain fascination with treasures from time to time. Upbeat and energetic, Kay is very passionate and enthusiastic about what she does. While she isn't exactly a genius, Kay still proves to be very useful during investigations both by pointing out small details that might have been previously ignored and also by helping recreate the crime scene. In fact, she can do that with ease thanks to "Little Thief," a device that helps her virtually recreate anything, as long as she has the blueprints and details to put in. Although she can cause quite a few headaches due to her eccentric personality, she's hard working and determined, and a very friendly person all around.
Sample Post:
Even in the depths of night, when no other bird dares to take flight... one alone soars to shine the light of righteousness on the world's blight! I am the Great Thief Yatagarasu, and I've come here to steal the truth! I've heard enough of shady stuff about this place, and it isn't just about that murder case that still hasn't been solved. There are rumors about people who swear they've been kidnapped and trapped for years in a summer camp located in Lousiana, even though they were never declared missing! Oh, and their friends say they weren't really gone for years... But it's still a good rumor, isn't it?! This makes the whole Camp Fuck You Die case shady enough to be fit for my first mission as the Yatagarasu! Get ready to face justice, Elizabeth Sayre, for I am going to reveal the truth of your misdeeds for the whole world to see!
... There! This is how a legendary Great Thief makes an entrance. First you have to introduce yourself all dramatic-like, and then declare your intentions. I know Ms. Sayre isn't here, but that's not the point! The last part is for self-encouragement. Now that you know this, Mr. Zombie, you're ready to become an apprentice Great Thief! You need to practice and learn from a more experienced one, so I'll make you my assistant for the investigation of this case. Pay close attention to everything, and then answer my questions when I need more information about the case, okay? Just stay behind me and comment on stuff I examine once in a while. You know, stuff like cookie boxes or step-ladders-you never know when they could turn into evidence. You look like you can really put your eye into things, so I'm sure you'll be great help! But saying "gwaaargh" and "braaains" won't be good enough, so try a bit harder, okay? And well, you won't be a good assistant if you keep trying to eat me, so that has to stop too. Now that we're clear, we can start!
I'm not a prosecutor, so I can't reveal the truth by collecting evidence and cross-examining witnesses with special contradiction-detecting skills. I wouldn't object to that, but wasting time to put all the facts together sounds boring. We need to do it the old fashioned way, like true Great Thieves! If no one's found any proof until now, I bet it's because someone is keeping it hidden, and if that's right, it must still be here. The only one who could hide evidence in this place is the owner of the camp, right? We should go straight for her office. Oh, but wait! I bet she's like one of those TV Show villains, where they filled the way in to their lair with traps to catch any intruders. Bah, that's really evil! It's no problem though, the Yatagarasu can't be stopped so easily by some lame falling cage. I mean, okay, the Yatagarasu is a bird and a cage seems appropriate, but that's such an old trap that nobody would fall for it anymore. You need to keep up with the times in this business; you can't catch a Great Thief with something so out of style! And I'm not about to get caught when the truth is so close to me.
Anyway, no matter how many traps she set up, thanks to "Little Thief", I'll be able to test the safest route to infiltrate her office! Hehehe, I will live up to my title and make sure nobody spots me; that's the Yatagarasu way! You won't know he was there until it's too late and the truth has been revealed. So I just need to collect information about the buildings here in this camp and the traps as well... Wait, the building layouts and stuff like that must be well-hidden too, huh? Mr. Zombie! You live here, so you must know something. Where is the place that's most guarded? The juiciest stuff should be hidden where the security is the greatest!
Oh, gotcha, the deepest part of the lake is definitely the best bet! A tentacle monster sounds like the strongest guard ever, so there has to be something down there. I'll check that out, so wait for me here, Mr. Zombie!
Poll Vote!
Character: Sano Seiichirou
Series: The Law of Ueki
Character Age: 15
Canon: Take a hundred kids, give each of them a power ranging from ultra cool (making things INVISIBLE) to the downright bizarre (turning one's forehead into DIAMOND), pit them all against each other in a battle royale to decide who the next God will be, and you've got The Law of Ueki in a nutshell. The series follows Kosuke Ueki and the ragtag group of kids he picks up along the way on their quest to win the tournament and save their friends and the world. Sano was one of those kids, gifted with the ability to turn towels to iron so long as he held his breath.
Sano is a foolishly reckless kind of guy. He tends to act first and think it through later and while that can work out for him sometimes, it can just as easily make the situation even worse. Luckily, Sano's a quick thinker who can keep coming up with new plans and strategies on the spot until he hits on one that works, and you'd better believe he has fun doing it. He's a shounentard through and through; a good old-fashioned no-holds-barred shounen throwdown is definitely fun to him. :Db That doesn't mean he isn't a good guy though. He's been known to risk his life for the sake of the innocent and his friends on more than one occasion, after all. But what's really, truly important to Sano is his lifelong dream to open up his own onsen. It's been his lifelong dream and was the prize he hoped for if he won the tournament. It turned out to be Ueki who earned the prize in the end, but Sano hasn't given up on his dream! Once the tournament ended he left on a trip around Japan and the rest of the world to explore new onsen and scout locations where he might be able to excavate a brand new one. In fact, he's so dedicated to his onsen dream that he's even able to identify the source of an onsen simply by entering it.
Sample Post:
What kind of an onsen resort is this? I've been to a lot that had monkeys, but none with walruses and penguins before. I didn't think they even liked such warm water. I guess it's not a bad attraction. Pretty unique . . . but did you consider your guests at all when you picked those animals? It might be fun to have to chase an onsen monkey to get your towel back, but it's the worst when you've got to get it from these penguins! They all flock around the one that's got it so you've got to get past dozens of sharp beaks to get it back-and don't get me started on the walruses. They take up so much space! It's nearly impossible to get even a little room to yourself to relax. You've completely forgotten what the purpose of an onsen is if you think this is alright. An onsen is meant to be a place where people can come to forget their troubles, not be subjected to even more!
Since I've dedicated my life to learning more and more about onsen so I can open my own one day, I'll give you some advice to improve it. First and most important, the atmosphere! Your onsen needs to be a relaxing place where people can come after a long day of work to forget all their worries. How are they going to do that when you've packed it with these animals? They don't even get along! When they weren't bothering me, they were having fights with each other! How is anyone going to enjoy themselves with all that bellowing and squawking going on? The toucans are just as bad, you know. Whenever the noise gets too loud they start divebombing anyone in sight. There's no dodging them! It's like they know where you're going to go even before you do.
Next is cleanliness! I'll admit I'm actually pretty impressed with how well you've done already. I was afraid the water would be glowing as bad as the lake is, but you've managed to keep it very clear. Good job! But even though you've done well so far doesn't mean you can slack off when it comes to cleaning up litter. Sure your water is clear, but seeing fish heads floating in it doesn't make me want to get in. Is that left over from feeding the animals? Why would you feed them in the onsen?! And why do none of the heads have the right number of eyes?! Couldn't you have guessed the kind of mess it would leave behind? It's not appealing at all! And it's not just the animals causing problems in this area, it's your guests too. There was a fake hand- Don't try to tell me the walruses brought that in. They might have been playing with it, but it had to be a person who brought it in here! It's a left-over Halloween prop, right? But that was months ago. How could you have left it laying around here for so long? There's no excuse for such sloppy work! You've got to clean up your act even more if you want this place to be a success.
Speaking of cleaning up your act, you've completely ignored the most important part: temperature! I can't believe this is even an issue, but how can you call this a real onsen when the water is so cold? It can barely even be called lukewarm! I was pretty confused when I checked your spring's source though. The water there was steaming so nicely. It didn't make any sense until I came back and saw those stupid penguins dumping ice cubes into the onsen! Do you understand now why you should stick to traditional animals instead of importing exotics things like those? These animals are only making troub-ghh!
Ugh, it's slimy . . . -Do you see what I mean? How do you expect to make any money when your animals are even attacking the guests with Halloween props?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Shiba Takeru
Series: Samurai Sentai Shinkenger
Character Age: 20
Canon:This series is about Shinkengers; a group of samurais that have the power to fight against Doukouku; a monster who has minions called the gedoushu and their stronger counterparts the ayakashi; these monsters surface from the Sanzu river and come into the world through various crevices and cracks. The power to defeat these monsters is handed down from generation to generation and the one who leads them is always the head of the Shiba clan, ShinkenRed. These samurai, once becoming a shinkenger, must throw away their pasts in order to keep loved ones safe.
Shiba Takeru is a solemn man who bears the burden of being ShinkenRed; the samurai of fire and leader of the Shinkengers. Short and to the point, he acts as the 18th [ spoilers; 19th ] head of the Shiba clan, effectively making him a lord with vassals. Stubborn and arrogant, Takeru was taught to be so by his ever present Jii; a man who has taken care of Takeru ever since his father passed away. Though often cold, there is a soft spot inside of him for his vassals that rarely get shown. Not only that, but due to the fact that he is the leader, he is serious more often than not because as the team's leader, he holds his vassals' lives in his hands. Also, shouting out Ippitsu Soujou, Takeru uses his shodouphone to write his respective kanji in the air and that transforms him into ShinkenRed.
Sample post:
Oh? So this is Camp For Useless Disciples. With Doukouku already defeated, I suppose I have the time to train those that need to be trained. However, it looks as if a lot of work is needed for this to happen. I'm sure you think it's quite funny to to leave women's lingerie all over these trees, but it's crude, as well as childish. However, I wouldn't expect anything less from those that are untrained. I can already see what kind of students I will have to teach here. Yes, I am speaking of you. You're the previous master? Ah, Ughbrains-san is your name. Then could you possibly tell me what you and your like hope to accomplish here?
I see. You wish to train hard and become strong enough to rebel against Ms. Sayre because she works you too hard and gives little to no compensation. As sad as that sounds, I'm afraid that doesn't concern me at all. As a workforce, it's your duty to find an equal relationship between you and your . . . lord. Not only that but you must prove how serious you're willing to take your job. Wearing 'booty shorts' will not help you. The proper garment you must wear is called a fundoshi. Yes, of course it looks like a thong. That is what it is. All samurai wear such a things, even under their armor. It is known that running in fundoshi in the winter is a true test of manhood. Perhaps I will have your students do this to prove to me that they are worthy enough of my time.
For now, please introduce me to your students. Ah, I see. So you're one of Ughbrains-san's useless disciples? Then please look at your master. Now, look at me. Now, back at your master. Now, back to me: Sadly, he isn't me, but I'm sure you can already tell the difference between us. I will tell you now that I will take on the duty of making a man out of you. No, there's no need to sing that. It's time to train instead. Now let's get down to business; not only will I make you a samurai worthy of respect, but I will also aid you in becoming the man you can become.
What's this? You want me to prove my skills to you? In the lake? Marcy? I see. Then let me say this to start; I'm sure that I'll be able to defeat whatever this lake of yours has to offer. If anything, perhaps it will show you the true nature of the path a samurai follows. Now then, shall we begin? Are you ready, Marcy-san? Good, then please know that you've met your match. For my name is Shiba Takeru; 18th head of the Shiba clan. Now stand aside, Ughbrains-san. It's better if you don't get hurt in the crossfire. Yes, that's far enough. Please, also make sure that any bystanders are kept far enough from this battle to remain unhur-- A back attack? I see you also lack honor, Marcy-san. You should know that I refuse to take it from behind. I don't care if it is your preference; this is as far as you get.
Poll Vote!
Name: Kaoru/ShinkenRed.
Age: 16/17
Series: Samurai Sentai Shinkenger
Canon: For eighteen generations, the samurai sentai team authorized by providence has fought to protect the people. The lord of Shiba, ShinkenRed, and his four vassals make up the team and have for years kept the evil Gedoushu who live in the Sanzu river from overflowing it into the human world. Tradition dictates that these five samurai will battle for peace, but the present team boasts a sixth member and another few surprise, like mecha made by sushi sellers and a princess.
That princess is Kaoru. She is cool and devoted and believes in her own strengths first and foremost. She also believes in tradition. She is also shown to be thoughtful and proud. Kaoru is serious and stoic most of the time but doesn't have a problem beating up her elders with fans or having them gagged. Kaoru also describes herself as being very anachronistic. The reason for most of that is that SPOILERS: Kaoru is actually both the true lord of the Shiba clan and ShinkenRed. Her seriousness comes from a drive to defeat the ultimate evil alongside the retainers fated to be hers. She is probably the most passionate about helping people.
Sample Post:
Enough is enough. As soon as I stepped into this village I could tell that it, like me, was different. It felt almost like we were the same, both displaced in time. But you have taken that charade too far, every last one of you here. Yes, I want to become less anachronistic, that much is true. Even if it meant sacrificing my pride as a swordsman, I was willing to take part in your daily scheduled "goofy time" for this reason alone. I strive to take these lessons to heart, yet I find myself consistently disappointed in the behavior of those around me. My supposed teachers are no different. They rally the call for brains, day in and day out, in a tireless effort to find someone smart and capable enough to handle their lessons, but offer little assistance aside from that. Something simply has to change.
Make no mistake. I would like very much to be able to learn, and the basis of learning is to ask and yield answers. Yet every question I ask is either ignored entirely or improperly answered to amuse the rest of my peers. Surely something can be done about this. I tried to reason with the teachers myself, to try and find some reasoning behind it. The response I received was terrible. Every little issue became a comment upon my own face, and the questions that couldn't be used as an insult were given numerical value. I fail to see what that has to do with anything, and repeating the number "forty-two" does nothing to help anyone. There is more to the meaning of this life than that, I promise all of you.
Protecting people, that should be the meaning that comes to mind first. This world we live in is so full of different kinds of people and creatures. There is more to see than can ever be seen, and more to do than can ever be done by one person alone. Ah, yes. It seems you finally understand my feelings here. I am glad that my words have moved you to dance. All that I might ask in return is your advice on what I can do to feel that same excitement toward my own goal. Anything that you have to give me, I will take it. Let us help one another and become part of this world. I want to be where the people are, to learn and understand everything there is to know. I beseech you again, and ask only for the tools I need to become a person befitting this time.
... I see. If this is all the advice you have, I will go now and master this form. I will not stop until I have perfected every step and jump to this "time warp".
Poll Vote!
Character: Kida Masaomi
Series: Durarara!!
Age: 15
Canon: In the town of Ikebukuro, it's said that anything can happen. Headless motorcyclists and flying vending machines are among the more notable occurrences in this city, but there are also the normal people trying to go about their normal lives. Or at least as close as they can get to it. Kida Masaomi is one of these people, a high school kid with a past he'd rather forget and a future he's looking forward to in Ikebukuro alongside his best friend.
A jokester and self-proclaimed playboy, Kida's loud and often flamboyant personality makes it hard for most people to take him seriously, particularly when he's indulging himself in his favorite hobby of flirting with girls or making extremely dumb and horrible jokes. He enjoys making grand gestures and wild proclamations, which are more of an act than anything else. Beneath the grandiose attitude, Kida's very much an average teenage boy who enjoys doing dumb things, hanging out with his friends, and babe-watching. He's capable of shutting his mouth and taking things seriously when the time calls for it, but with the carefree life he leads now, time doesn't call very much.
Sample Post:
Oh maaan, no way! Is this it? Is this for real? Is this the start of my lovey-lovey, action-and-romance-packed days in one of those fabled, no, legendary summer camps?! And a zombie-infested summer camp too! That means every memory made here can be forever recalled in the future as "that one time at zombie summer camp"; how awesome is that? And just think about the high grade romance scenarios available. A boy and a girl, fighting for survival, possibly the last two living human beings left in the world with nothing else to drive them but their everlasting passion for each other! Will humanity prevail or does this fateful day mark the end of life here on Earth as we know it?!
Ahhh, but I'm getting ahead of myself. I don't need to worry about surviving this apocalyptic swampland yet, not until I find a leading lady to star in this horror romance with me. And no offense, but you're more suited to the role of the fuzzy sidekick than a romantic option. Hey, don't look at me like that. It's not my fault that someone with your looks is better meant for monkeying around.
... Ahaha, c'mon, that was a good joke! I was saving it this whole time for just the right time to use it, you know. At least I got that out of my system now, so we can move right on to the important stuff: finding the ultimate cute female heroine! You never know, maybe we'll find a super cute girl who's into the whole fuzzy purple look too. ... Whoooa, no way, are you blushing? Don't tell me you've never picked up girls before! No no no, not literally, like with flowers and candy and super romantic walks on the beach that end in passionate love on the sand! Heeh, got your interest with that, didn't I? Don't worry, I won't judge your hidden perverted desires~
Now, luckily for you, you've got an expert in love and romance and elegantly sweeping the ladies off their feet right here. And I'll give you your first lesson in love right now. There's always a right way and a wrong way to attract girls. Check out that guy over there, for example. It's smart and all to say you're into a girl's brains, but if that's all you say you want, she's gonna start getting a little suspicious about what you're really after. You've gotta show you're interested in all the sides of her, good and bad. And from the looks of the local girls I say we're gonna be seeing a lot more bad than good...
Alright! With that little bit of advice, how about we try out our luck? For starters, I think that uh lady with the tentacles over there is just your type. No no, don't worry about me. She's all yours.
Poll Vote!
guess how many times firefox crashed while trying to format and post this!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closedddd.
Character: Cheryl Shane Kates
Series: Vassalord
Character Age: Around 10, probably. Prepubescent, anyway.
Canon: One is a badass cyborg vampire mercenary who works for the Vatican and the other is a gay playboy master vampire. Together, they fight other vampires. ...is the plot of Vassalord in a nutshell. Charley, the cyborg vampire, takes on cases of vampire crime and eliminates the offenders, and drags along his master and boyfriend, Johnny, as his portable snack. They get by well enough, though sometimes they need a little help from Johnny's twin sister, the vampiress Rayfell, and from Rayfell's extremely underage lover and human servant, Cheryl.
Cheryl may be young and cute, but don't take her lightly. She's a vampire hunter who has holy anti-vampire powers, and a scythe twice her size, and is guaranteed to become a vampire after she dies (though she's rather hoping to hit puberty and develop a smokin' hot body first). Though SHE'd rather that you underestimate her - she looooves pretending to be an adorable little clutz to draw in helpless suckers or to trick her targets. In actuality, she's deeply sardonic, violent, and able to swear like a sailor, not to mention incredibly intelligent and with a near-encyclopedic knowledge of the supernatural that she's happy to infodump on any pretext. Cheryl is perfectly willing to threaten and beat up friends and enemies alike to get what she wants out of a situation, whether it's getting information from a client or getting back at her master Rayfell for cheating on her again (and again, and again). But if that doesn't work - and even if the people around her know her better than that - she's more than ready to fall back on her cute and cuddly super religious holy-girl persona, dress up in a nun costume, and work the dewy-eyed helpless God-be-praised whatever-will-I-do-iyaaaa angle instead.
Sample app:
Oh nooooooo!! Mr. Bear, please stop chasing me! T-there's no way a helpless little girl like me could outrun you! Eeeek, you're going to catch me, what should I do? O God, please protect your holy daughter from this ravening bear! Don't let it tear off my habit or have its way with my helpless nubile little underage virginal and pure body! N-nnooo, hearing that made it run faster! I-it's almost caught me! Mr. Bear, please, I'm sorry, I'll do anything, like shove my goddamn scythe so far up your ass you choke on the tip, you fucker!
...Well, that's one thing down. Not that it will help unless people learn not to lure these things out of the woods. What am I, a wildlife educator now? Jeez... attention, people of camp! I have arrived and killed the Ursus Pedophilus - the common Pedobear - that I was told was threatening your accustomed lifestyles. Admittedly I'm a little annoyed Ms. Sayre hired a vampire-slayer of my calibre to hunt down a Pedobear just because I'd be "the perfect bait" with my "twiggy and undeveloped body" - which is true but unnecessarily insulting. But I decided to accept this hunt out of the goodness of my heart and a slight amount of enlightened self-interest.
Now, since I heard you were being terrorized by this Pedobear I can only assume that you don't really understand what may make such a normally rare and elusive creature come out of the woods to attack civilization. Some may think it's enough to just have a lot of little children around, so let me set you clear on this matter: it generally requires a lot of easily exploitable and kind of fetishized little children around. If you add in actual pedophiles in the area to fantasize about them, you almost guarantee that the scent of the hormones being released will lure the Pedobear out of its lair; people tend to anthropomorphize the situation by implying the bear is coming to give its "seal of approval" but it's really drawn by the scent and a predator-prey environment. So keep an eye on who's around you and ask yourself: is this a touching bonding moment, or does that child need a different adult? It just might save your life.
Anyway, while we're on the topic of needing an adult, I heard from Ms. Sayre that Master Rayfell is here, and has been here for a while and, gosh, I just can't help but wonder what she's been doing all this time. Golly, I wonder how she's been taking care of herself, or where she's been getting her meals. It's been so long and I've missed her so much, but I just can't help think that she might have been up to something ...unfortunate. In fact, I've also got this theory over who might have attracted a Pedobear down to camp in the first place. So I'd reaaaaaaally appreciate it if you could help me track down this menace to society. ♥ I'm sure the Lord will reward you for your generosity! Just as He won't forgive her her sins.
God be with you~!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kay Faraday
Series: Ace Attorney: Investigations
Character Age: 17
Canon: In the Ace Attorney game series, you play the role of a lawyer and your goal is to prove your client's innocence. You must collect evidence during special investigations, battle wits with prosecutors when in the court room, and while you're at it, find out who the real culprit after pointing out the contradictions in their testimony. In the newest game in the series, you take the role of the prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, a well-known character from the main series, and investigate numerous cases in an effort to uncover the truth. Unlike the previous games, all the crimes get investigated before they reach the courtroom, and it's important to make sure you're accusing the right person. During the cases, you will meet many different people: some enemies, as well as some allies.
One of the allies you meet along the way is Kay Faraday. She's a young girl who introduces herself as the "Great Thief Yatagarasu", even if technically, she just inherited the title and has yet to steal anything. Though she's a thief, she claims time and time again that the only thing she's out to steal is the truth-even if she seems to have a certain fascination with treasures from time to time. Upbeat and energetic, Kay is very passionate and enthusiastic about what she does. While she isn't exactly a genius, Kay still proves to be very useful during investigations both by pointing out small details that might have been previously ignored and also by helping recreate the crime scene. In fact, she can do that with ease thanks to "Little Thief," a device that helps her virtually recreate anything, as long as she has the blueprints and details to put in. Although she can cause quite a few headaches due to her eccentric personality, she's hard working and determined, and a very friendly person all around.
Sample Post:
Even in the depths of night, when no other bird dares to take flight... one alone soars to shine the light of righteousness on the world's blight! I am the Great Thief Yatagarasu, and I've come here to steal the truth! I've heard enough of shady stuff about this place, and it isn't just about that murder case that still hasn't been solved. There are rumors about people who swear they've been kidnapped and trapped for years in a summer camp located in Lousiana, even though they were never declared missing! Oh, and their friends say they weren't really gone for years... But it's still a good rumor, isn't it?! This makes the whole Camp Fuck You Die case shady enough to be fit for my first mission as the Yatagarasu! Get ready to face justice, Elizabeth Sayre, for I am going to reveal the truth of your misdeeds for the whole world to see!
... There! This is how a legendary Great Thief makes an entrance. First you have to introduce yourself all dramatic-like, and then declare your intentions. I know Ms. Sayre isn't here, but that's not the point! The last part is for self-encouragement. Now that you know this, Mr. Zombie, you're ready to become an apprentice Great Thief! You need to practice and learn from a more experienced one, so I'll make you my assistant for the investigation of this case. Pay close attention to everything, and then answer my questions when I need more information about the case, okay? Just stay behind me and comment on stuff I examine once in a while. You know, stuff like cookie boxes or step-ladders-you never know when they could turn into evidence. You look like you can really put your eye into things, so I'm sure you'll be great help! But saying "gwaaargh" and "braaains" won't be good enough, so try a bit harder, okay? And well, you won't be a good assistant if you keep trying to eat me, so that has to stop too. Now that we're clear, we can start!
I'm not a prosecutor, so I can't reveal the truth by collecting evidence and cross-examining witnesses with special contradiction-detecting skills. I wouldn't object to that, but wasting time to put all the facts together sounds boring. We need to do it the old fashioned way, like true Great Thieves! If no one's found any proof until now, I bet it's because someone is keeping it hidden, and if that's right, it must still be here. The only one who could hide evidence in this place is the owner of the camp, right? We should go straight for her office. Oh, but wait! I bet she's like one of those TV Show villains, where they filled the way in to their lair with traps to catch any intruders. Bah, that's really evil! It's no problem though, the Yatagarasu can't be stopped so easily by some lame falling cage. I mean, okay, the Yatagarasu is a bird and a cage seems appropriate, but that's such an old trap that nobody would fall for it anymore. You need to keep up with the times in this business; you can't catch a Great Thief with something so out of style! And I'm not about to get caught when the truth is so close to me.
Anyway, no matter how many traps she set up, thanks to "Little Thief", I'll be able to test the safest route to infiltrate her office! Hehehe, I will live up to my title and make sure nobody spots me; that's the Yatagarasu way! You won't know he was there until it's too late and the truth has been revealed. So I just need to collect information about the buildings here in this camp and the traps as well... Wait, the building layouts and stuff like that must be well-hidden too, huh? Mr. Zombie! You live here, so you must know something. Where is the place that's most guarded? The juiciest stuff should be hidden where the security is the greatest!
Oh, gotcha, the deepest part of the lake is definitely the best bet! A tentacle monster sounds like the strongest guard ever, so there has to be something down there. I'll check that out, so wait for me here, Mr. Zombie!
Poll Vote!
Character: Sano Seiichirou
Series: The Law of Ueki
Character Age: 15
Canon: Take a hundred kids, give each of them a power ranging from ultra cool (making things INVISIBLE) to the downright bizarre (turning one's forehead into DIAMOND), pit them all against each other in a battle royale to decide who the next God will be, and you've got The Law of Ueki in a nutshell. The series follows Kosuke Ueki and the ragtag group of kids he picks up along the way on their quest to win the tournament and save their friends and the world. Sano was one of those kids, gifted with the ability to turn towels to iron so long as he held his breath.
Sano is a foolishly reckless kind of guy. He tends to act first and think it through later and while that can work out for him sometimes, it can just as easily make the situation even worse. Luckily, Sano's a quick thinker who can keep coming up with new plans and strategies on the spot until he hits on one that works, and you'd better believe he has fun doing it. He's a shounentard through and through; a good old-fashioned no-holds-barred shounen throwdown is definitely fun to him. :Db That doesn't mean he isn't a good guy though. He's been known to risk his life for the sake of the innocent and his friends on more than one occasion, after all. But what's really, truly important to Sano is his lifelong dream to open up his own onsen. It's been his lifelong dream and was the prize he hoped for if he won the tournament. It turned out to be Ueki who earned the prize in the end, but Sano hasn't given up on his dream! Once the tournament ended he left on a trip around Japan and the rest of the world to explore new onsen and scout locations where he might be able to excavate a brand new one. In fact, he's so dedicated to his onsen dream that he's even able to identify the source of an onsen simply by entering it.
Sample Post:
What kind of an onsen resort is this? I've been to a lot that had monkeys, but none with walruses and penguins before. I didn't think they even liked such warm water. I guess it's not a bad attraction. Pretty unique . . . but did you consider your guests at all when you picked those animals? It might be fun to have to chase an onsen monkey to get your towel back, but it's the worst when you've got to get it from these penguins! They all flock around the one that's got it so you've got to get past dozens of sharp beaks to get it back-and don't get me started on the walruses. They take up so much space! It's nearly impossible to get even a little room to yourself to relax. You've completely forgotten what the purpose of an onsen is if you think this is alright. An onsen is meant to be a place where people can come to forget their troubles, not be subjected to even more!
Since I've dedicated my life to learning more and more about onsen so I can open my own one day, I'll give you some advice to improve it. First and most important, the atmosphere! Your onsen needs to be a relaxing place where people can come after a long day of work to forget all their worries. How are they going to do that when you've packed it with these animals? They don't even get along! When they weren't bothering me, they were having fights with each other! How is anyone going to enjoy themselves with all that bellowing and squawking going on? The toucans are just as bad, you know. Whenever the noise gets too loud they start divebombing anyone in sight. There's no dodging them! It's like they know where you're going to go even before you do.
Next is cleanliness! I'll admit I'm actually pretty impressed with how well you've done already. I was afraid the water would be glowing as bad as the lake is, but you've managed to keep it very clear. Good job! But even though you've done well so far doesn't mean you can slack off when it comes to cleaning up litter. Sure your water is clear, but seeing fish heads floating in it doesn't make me want to get in. Is that left over from feeding the animals? Why would you feed them in the onsen?! And why do none of the heads have the right number of eyes?! Couldn't you have guessed the kind of mess it would leave behind? It's not appealing at all! And it's not just the animals causing problems in this area, it's your guests too. There was a fake hand- Don't try to tell me the walruses brought that in. They might have been playing with it, but it had to be a person who brought it in here! It's a left-over Halloween prop, right? But that was months ago. How could you have left it laying around here for so long? There's no excuse for such sloppy work! You've got to clean up your act even more if you want this place to be a success.
Speaking of cleaning up your act, you've completely ignored the most important part: temperature! I can't believe this is even an issue, but how can you call this a real onsen when the water is so cold? It can barely even be called lukewarm! I was pretty confused when I checked your spring's source though. The water there was steaming so nicely. It didn't make any sense until I came back and saw those stupid penguins dumping ice cubes into the onsen! Do you understand now why you should stick to traditional animals instead of importing exotics things like those? These animals are only making troub-ghh!
Ugh, it's slimy . . . -Do you see what I mean? How do you expect to make any money when your animals are even attacking the guests with Halloween props?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Shiba Takeru
Series: Samurai Sentai Shinkenger
Character Age: 20
Canon:This series is about Shinkengers; a group of samurais that have the power to fight against Doukouku; a monster who has minions called the gedoushu and their stronger counterparts the ayakashi; these monsters surface from the Sanzu river and come into the world through various crevices and cracks. The power to defeat these monsters is handed down from generation to generation and the one who leads them is always the head of the Shiba clan, ShinkenRed. These samurai, once becoming a shinkenger, must throw away their pasts in order to keep loved ones safe.
Shiba Takeru is a solemn man who bears the burden of being ShinkenRed; the samurai of fire and leader of the Shinkengers. Short and to the point, he acts as the 18th [ spoilers; 19th ] head of the Shiba clan, effectively making him a lord with vassals. Stubborn and arrogant, Takeru was taught to be so by his ever present Jii; a man who has taken care of Takeru ever since his father passed away. Though often cold, there is a soft spot inside of him for his vassals that rarely get shown. Not only that, but due to the fact that he is the leader, he is serious more often than not because as the team's leader, he holds his vassals' lives in his hands. Also, shouting out Ippitsu Soujou, Takeru uses his shodouphone to write his respective kanji in the air and that transforms him into ShinkenRed.
Sample post:
Oh? So this is Camp For Useless Disciples. With Doukouku already defeated, I suppose I have the time to train those that need to be trained. However, it looks as if a lot of work is needed for this to happen. I'm sure you think it's quite funny to to leave women's lingerie all over these trees, but it's crude, as well as childish. However, I wouldn't expect anything less from those that are untrained. I can already see what kind of students I will have to teach here. Yes, I am speaking of you. You're the previous master? Ah, Ughbrains-san is your name. Then could you possibly tell me what you and your like hope to accomplish here?
I see. You wish to train hard and become strong enough to rebel against Ms. Sayre because she works you too hard and gives little to no compensation. As sad as that sounds, I'm afraid that doesn't concern me at all. As a workforce, it's your duty to find an equal relationship between you and your . . . lord. Not only that but you must prove how serious you're willing to take your job. Wearing 'booty shorts' will not help you. The proper garment you must wear is called a fundoshi. Yes, of course it looks like a thong. That is what it is. All samurai wear such a things, even under their armor. It is known that running in fundoshi in the winter is a true test of manhood. Perhaps I will have your students do this to prove to me that they are worthy enough of my time.
For now, please introduce me to your students. Ah, I see. So you're one of Ughbrains-san's useless disciples? Then please look at your master. Now, look at me. Now, back at your master. Now, back to me: Sadly, he isn't me, but I'm sure you can already tell the difference between us. I will tell you now that I will take on the duty of making a man out of you. No, there's no need to sing that. It's time to train instead. Now let's get down to business; not only will I make you a samurai worthy of respect, but I will also aid you in becoming the man you can become.
What's this? You want me to prove my skills to you? In the lake? Marcy? I see. Then let me say this to start; I'm sure that I'll be able to defeat whatever this lake of yours has to offer. If anything, perhaps it will show you the true nature of the path a samurai follows. Now then, shall we begin? Are you ready, Marcy-san? Good, then please know that you've met your match. For my name is Shiba Takeru; 18th head of the Shiba clan. Now stand aside, Ughbrains-san. It's better if you don't get hurt in the crossfire. Yes, that's far enough. Please, also make sure that any bystanders are kept far enough from this battle to remain unhur-- A back attack? I see you also lack honor, Marcy-san. You should know that I refuse to take it from behind. I don't care if it is your preference; this is as far as you get.
Poll Vote!
Name: Kaoru/ShinkenRed.
Age: 16/17
Series: Samurai Sentai Shinkenger
Canon: For eighteen generations, the samurai sentai team authorized by providence has fought to protect the people. The lord of Shiba, ShinkenRed, and his four vassals make up the team and have for years kept the evil Gedoushu who live in the Sanzu river from overflowing it into the human world. Tradition dictates that these five samurai will battle for peace, but the present team boasts a sixth member and another few surprise, like mecha made by sushi sellers and a princess.
That princess is Kaoru. She is cool and devoted and believes in her own strengths first and foremost. She also believes in tradition. She is also shown to be thoughtful and proud. Kaoru is serious and stoic most of the time but doesn't have a problem beating up her elders with fans or having them gagged. Kaoru also describes herself as being very anachronistic. The reason for most of that is that SPOILERS: Kaoru is actually both the true lord of the Shiba clan and ShinkenRed. Her seriousness comes from a drive to defeat the ultimate evil alongside the retainers fated to be hers. She is probably the most passionate about helping people.
Sample Post:
Enough is enough. As soon as I stepped into this village I could tell that it, like me, was different. It felt almost like we were the same, both displaced in time. But you have taken that charade too far, every last one of you here. Yes, I want to become less anachronistic, that much is true. Even if it meant sacrificing my pride as a swordsman, I was willing to take part in your daily scheduled "goofy time" for this reason alone. I strive to take these lessons to heart, yet I find myself consistently disappointed in the behavior of those around me. My supposed teachers are no different. They rally the call for brains, day in and day out, in a tireless effort to find someone smart and capable enough to handle their lessons, but offer little assistance aside from that. Something simply has to change.
Make no mistake. I would like very much to be able to learn, and the basis of learning is to ask and yield answers. Yet every question I ask is either ignored entirely or improperly answered to amuse the rest of my peers. Surely something can be done about this. I tried to reason with the teachers myself, to try and find some reasoning behind it. The response I received was terrible. Every little issue became a comment upon my own face, and the questions that couldn't be used as an insult were given numerical value. I fail to see what that has to do with anything, and repeating the number "forty-two" does nothing to help anyone. There is more to the meaning of this life than that, I promise all of you.
Protecting people, that should be the meaning that comes to mind first. This world we live in is so full of different kinds of people and creatures. There is more to see than can ever be seen, and more to do than can ever be done by one person alone. Ah, yes. It seems you finally understand my feelings here. I am glad that my words have moved you to dance. All that I might ask in return is your advice on what I can do to feel that same excitement toward my own goal. Anything that you have to give me, I will take it. Let us help one another and become part of this world. I want to be where the people are, to learn and understand everything there is to know. I beseech you again, and ask only for the tools I need to become a person befitting this time.
... I see. If this is all the advice you have, I will go now and master this form. I will not stop until I have perfected every step and jump to this "time warp".
Poll Vote!
Character: Kida Masaomi
Series: Durarara!!
Age: 15
Canon: In the town of Ikebukuro, it's said that anything can happen. Headless motorcyclists and flying vending machines are among the more notable occurrences in this city, but there are also the normal people trying to go about their normal lives. Or at least as close as they can get to it. Kida Masaomi is one of these people, a high school kid with a past he'd rather forget and a future he's looking forward to in Ikebukuro alongside his best friend.
A jokester and self-proclaimed playboy, Kida's loud and often flamboyant personality makes it hard for most people to take him seriously, particularly when he's indulging himself in his favorite hobby of flirting with girls or making extremely dumb and horrible jokes. He enjoys making grand gestures and wild proclamations, which are more of an act than anything else. Beneath the grandiose attitude, Kida's very much an average teenage boy who enjoys doing dumb things, hanging out with his friends, and babe-watching. He's capable of shutting his mouth and taking things seriously when the time calls for it, but with the carefree life he leads now, time doesn't call very much.
Sample Post:
Oh maaan, no way! Is this it? Is this for real? Is this the start of my lovey-lovey, action-and-romance-packed days in one of those fabled, no, legendary summer camps?! And a zombie-infested summer camp too! That means every memory made here can be forever recalled in the future as "that one time at zombie summer camp"; how awesome is that? And just think about the high grade romance scenarios available. A boy and a girl, fighting for survival, possibly the last two living human beings left in the world with nothing else to drive them but their everlasting passion for each other! Will humanity prevail or does this fateful day mark the end of life here on Earth as we know it?!
Ahhh, but I'm getting ahead of myself. I don't need to worry about surviving this apocalyptic swampland yet, not until I find a leading lady to star in this horror romance with me. And no offense, but you're more suited to the role of the fuzzy sidekick than a romantic option. Hey, don't look at me like that. It's not my fault that someone with your looks is better meant for monkeying around.
... Ahaha, c'mon, that was a good joke! I was saving it this whole time for just the right time to use it, you know. At least I got that out of my system now, so we can move right on to the important stuff: finding the ultimate cute female heroine! You never know, maybe we'll find a super cute girl who's into the whole fuzzy purple look too. ... Whoooa, no way, are you blushing? Don't tell me you've never picked up girls before! No no no, not literally, like with flowers and candy and super romantic walks on the beach that end in passionate love on the sand! Heeh, got your interest with that, didn't I? Don't worry, I won't judge your hidden perverted desires~
Now, luckily for you, you've got an expert in love and romance and elegantly sweeping the ladies off their feet right here. And I'll give you your first lesson in love right now. There's always a right way and a wrong way to attract girls. Check out that guy over there, for example. It's smart and all to say you're into a girl's brains, but if that's all you say you want, she's gonna start getting a little suspicious about what you're really after. You've gotta show you're interested in all the sides of her, good and bad. And from the looks of the local girls I say we're gonna be seeing a lot more bad than good...
Alright! With that little bit of advice, how about we try out our luck? For starters, I think that uh lady with the tentacles over there is just your type. No no, don't worry about me. She's all yours.
Poll Vote!