(no subject)
First batch! Apps are open until 6 AM EST, so keep 'em coming!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. eh, we're good here. Closed!
Character: Kanzaki Naoto
Series: di[e]ce
Character Age: 17
Canon: What's the best sixteenth birthday present for an avid gamer and fighter? Apparently for Naruse Kazuki, it's having his high school turn into something out of a horror game (zombie classmates included!), and being told that he won't get in trouble for beating everyone else up. In addition, he finds out this is all part of an extended metaphor for a chess game in which he's a super important "King" player. Even better, he doesn't have to go to school anymore. So life is 100% awesome, right? . . . Well, there is that one teensy detail about Kazuki having to kill his childhood friend in order to win. But hey, he can definitely find a way around that, right? Especially because he won't be alone, since every King is helped by loyal minions "players" named after the other chess pieces. One of these pieces is Kanzaki Naoto, or Kazuki's knight.
Mild-mannered high school student by day, ally of justice and enemy of evil by... 1 am every Monday morning, Naoto is the pretty face behind the suit in the popular TV show "Iron Masked Rider." He seems like an excellent teen idol who confidently fights plastic-suited monsters onscreen (or his stunt double does, at least) and is friendly off-camera, but Naoto also suffers from low self-esteem and a tendency to put others before himself. After getting caught up in di[e]ce and being forcefully convinced of his self-worth by Kazuki, Naoto becomes slightly less hesitant about expressing his opinions to others, even if he still does it politely. Despite his newfound spine, he continues to worry about the well-being of others over his own, often to the extent that he seems like an airhead about matters concerning himself. Either way, his main role now is to be the caring older teammate who generally goes along with whatever crazy situation he's been dragged into, although he's still sensible enough to make long-suffering comments.
Sample Post:
Let's see, the first scene is set in this clearing to the right of the pond. I've just woken up, and now I'm looking for my companions. There's the cornfield I have to pass, then the zombie and the water trough further on. . . O-oh, I almost didn't see you there! Good morning, you must be one of the extras. I can get out of the way if I'm bothering you; I'm just here to look around and get used to the new location before we start filming later. It's completely different from the cityscapes we've been using until now, isn't it? I heard the director wants to make things scarier to appeal to the older viewers, which explains the zombie costumes. On the other hand, we all agreed that it shouldn't be too scary for the children . . . I guess that's why he didn't go with the original swamp idea. But why a farm instead? Sometimes I wonder if the rumors about the creative staff pulling ideas out of a hat are true . . .
A-Anyway, you must be bored by now! Thank you for listening to me talk. . . I'm sorry, what was your name again? It sounded like Bray-san, but I don't think that's right. . . . Reins-san? -Oh, I get it! You were saying brains, brains! I'm sorry for misunderstanding, I didn't realize you were already getting in-character for your role. I suppose I should have guessed, since you've put on your costume so early in the day. I'm really impressed by your enthusiasm; let's work hard together. We can start by building a good working atmosphere and getting to know each other more-but I guess I can do most of the talking if you're still practicing. By the way, your costume is amazing too. The wardrobe department must have put a lot of effort into making it looks so realistic! . . . And, ah, please don't take this personally, but it smells quite real too. Is that really necessary? It's not like the viewers can smell it through the TV.
But you know, even though it's good to be so hardworking, it's also important to be careful. All your practice will be wasted if you push yourself too hard and get hurt during a fight scene; and then there's the weather too! What if you faint in the middle of a take because your suit is too stifling and you get overheated-ah, see, you're sweating a lot already! . . . I-I hope that's sweat, anyway. You'd better take a break for now and cool off. I can see a building over there, just past the edge of this cornfield. You should be able to sit down and rest once we get there. -Ah, maybe it's just me, but that building is a strange shape. It's even taller than I thought it was and the roof is rounded . . . oh, it must be the location mentioned in the script for the climactic fight against the final boss! I didn't know they'd started working on it already. This is good, though, since it means there should be staff members there. They can help you take off your costume and get you something to drink. See, I think there's someone on the roof. They're waving at . . . us . . .
W-Why is that tentacle monster so large?! And the script directions . . . this kind of fight definitely won't be appropriate for children to watch! Not to mention, even with a stuntman I'm fairly sure this violates my contract in a big way-!
Poll Vote!
Character: Katou Yue
Series: Angel Sanctuary
Character Age: 17 years old
Canon: In the late 1990s, a high school delinquent named Setsuna Mudou only wanted to date his sister. But when you're the reincarnation of Alexiel, an angel exiled from heaven for rebellion, life isn't that easy. There's a war to fight between Heaven and Hell--not to mention, Heaven's messed-up politics to deal with. And then there's attacks to fend off from Alexiel's obsessive twin brother, Rociel, who wants his sister back. Fortunately for Setsuna, he picked up a lot of friends along the way, all willing and eager to join in on the fight.
Katou was just a high school druggie right up until he met up with the wrong dealer and ended up dead soon afterward. But death was just the beginning for Katou, who wound up as Setsuna's guide in the underworld. With a little help from an angel named Uriel, Katou eventually got a new body (made of plants), and joined Setsuna in his fight. Katou is loud, abrasive, sometimes obnoxious, and a bit eccentric. He tries to pretend that he doesn't care about anyone, but it's all put on. He's loyal to a fault and self-sacrificing, going so far as to die for Setsuna several more times before it finally ends up being permanent.
Sample Post:
So! Here it is, a beautiful summer day, and naturally, I'm messing around and having a good time, right? Right?
WRONG!
Instead of doing something that even remotely resembles fun, I'm in a summer camp in the middle of Farmsville, USA. Oh yeah, and I'm getting chased around by the Zombie Children of the Corn. Now, all things considered, you'd think that they wouldn't be interested in me. After all, I'm lacking the normal kind of brains and flesh they usually go after in all those lame B-rated horror flicks on TV at two o'clock in the morning. But nooooo, I just had to get mauled by the only vegetarian horde of zombies ever created. Lucky me. Welcome to "It's a Screwed-Up Afterlife: Katou-Style."
But wait! It gets even better! I finally manage to get rid of the fucking zombies-- "kill" would imply they were still alive to begin with, so let's just say they stumbled into my katana.... several times, right up until they stopped moving. Vegetarian masochists here. And then the very second I'm done with them, I get to deal with the corn. "But Katou," you wonder, "What's so bad about corn?" Funny you should ask! The last time I saw anything like that, there was really this bad porn involved, and-- Okay, you know what? I'm not even gonna go there. And neither should the corn. That's just way beyond even the normal levels of fucked up. I'm never going to look at creamed corn the same way again.
At any rate, let's just say you guys are minus one section of sentient, perverted corn. It was justified self-defense, okay? And it's not like there isn't SEVERAL ACRES MORE around here or anything! OH WAIT.
You know what? Screw this. I'm pretty sure I saw a greenhouse somewhere back there. Let's see if I can't find something there to forget all this crap and start partying like it's 1999.
...Wait a minute. What the hell do you mean it's 2010?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Satou Jun
Series: Working!!
Age: 20
Canon: The day-to-day life of an average part-time waiter gets a little more interesting at Wagnaria family restaurant, where katana-carrying waitresses and blackmailing chefs are all just a part of the business. Working!! follows the lives of these restaurant employees both on and off the job, who happen to be just as quirky at home as they are at work. While most of the people working here shouldn't be left alone near the general public, there are the few individuals who manage to keep both the restaurant and its employees in one piece. Mostly.
Satou Jun is one of the chefs at Wagnaria who more-or-less goes along with the hectic flow of things from the safety of the kitchen. He's intimidating to look at, though fairly relaxed and helpful once you get past the emotionless stares. While he tends toward the quiet side and generally stays out of the way when things get too crazy, don't be mistaken. Satou's got a sharp tongue and plenty of dry humor to spare, particularly when he's feeling stressed or annoyed. He's also fond of teasing the younger members of the staff in ways frighteningly similar to a five-year-old, such as drawing on their faces or messing up their hair. He doesn't take too well to being teased in turn though, often taking up a frying pan for other than its intended purposes. Still, Satou's proved himself to be one of the more sensible and capable members of Wagnaria's staff whom genuinely cares for the restaurant and his co-workers, even if he fails horribly at expressing it.
Sample Post:
... Maybe this "cultural chef exchange program" was a bad idea. I've had the feeling it was a bad idea since I found out the culture I'd be cooking for was "zombie summer camp." How did that even get to be one of the options on the list? I don't understand what the manager expects me to learn here; this is going far past the differences between Japanese and American cuisine. Well, if she wants to serve Intestine-a-la-Swamp or Unidentifiable Meatloaf at a family restaurant, I suppose that's her decision. But hopefully she'll come to her senses before she gets the restaurant shut down for health code violations. Not to mention the numerous moral ones.
This is too far for a joke, isn't it? I'd guess assigning me an assistant chef meant they were serious, even if he's not what I was expecting. Someone normal, mostly. I haven't worked with a chef who needed a hair net to catch something other than hair before, but whatever keeps the kitchen sanitary. It's weird, though. I've worked with a lot of people who were worse in the kitchen than this guy, but there's something about Chef Boyardelicious that has me on edge. Must be my imagination.
Well, that's enough time wasted. I'm sure anything I learn to cook here is going to be illegal back in Japan and probably numerous other countries, but you won't let me go for the day until I've cooked at least one thing, huh? Got it... Looks like the most popular dish around here is the soup and the recipe itself is pretty straight forward. Even if the ingredients aren't. Eye of newt, toe of frog. This is supposed to be soup, right? Essence of male virg-
... It's better to just not think too hard about these ingredients while I work. Okay, four fresh brains to start with. Looks like our on-hand stock is running low, so we'll have to use yours.
... That was a joke. Put that away and go wash your hands again before you touch anything else. Maybe we'll just make salad instead.
Poll Vote!
Character: Portgas D. Ace
Series: One Piece
Character Age: 20
Canon: One Piece is about pirates going on a journey to accomplish their dreams and goals. The series itself centers around the main character, Monkey D. Luffy. Luffy's goal is to gather comrades, sail the seas and become the next Pirate King just like Gol D. Roger was. He's had this ambition ever since he was a child and he sets off to do exactly that once he's old enough to travel. Throughout his adventures, he gathers many comrades and builds up a motley crew of people who have their own dreams that coincide with his own. They journey together and enter the treacherous waters of the Grand Line, where their real adventure begins.
Now we have Portgas D. Ace, also known as the older brother of Monkey D. Luffy. Ace is sensible, polite and very easy to get along with. He easily charms Luffy's crew with his mannerisms before setting off to do what he thinks is right, which is to go after a traitorous crew member who killed another crew member thus shaming the name of his captain, Whitebeard. His captain is that important to him, he even goes so far as to call Whitebeard his father and will do anything to prove that he's worth being the next Pirate King. And he has the strength to back it up even without the powers he's gained from eating the Flame-Flame fruit. The Flamea-Flame fruit is called a Devil Fruit. Devil Fruits allow different powers to manifest in whoever eats one. However, anyone who eats one becomes a hammer in the water, which means that they sink and are unable to swim.
Note: This character is taken from chapter 159.
Sample Post: Pirates Vs Ninjas, the true battle among men. First up is Zombie Pirate Beauregraah'd; he's a mean 6 feet tall and he's got a peg leg that he isn't afraid to use. Second up is Zombie Ninja Brian who's 5 feet tall, smells like your mother's bad breath and knows just how to use his knives to make you fall to pieces. How will this battle go? Will the Pirates win for the treasure they seek? Or will the Ninjas overpower the pirates in their goal for guts, glory and a side of brains?
Well, that's what I'd like to say, but I'm really just here for the brains. They smell great! Did you use some kind of special sauce on them? Because that's what it tastes like- woahhh there, Pirate Beauregraah'd, I know it's getting hot in here but you don't need to take off all your clothes. Just 'cause I don't have a shirt on doesn't mean you shouldn't either. I mean, you need to keep your clothes on anyway. I think they're are the only things keeping you together. How'd you get like that anyway? Did you eat a Devil Fruit? If you did then that's kind of a weird power. Hey, there's no need to get angry. I'm just saying, okay?
You can't swim after you eat one so it's not all fun and games anyway. Guess this means you can't compete in the water raft race against the ninjas, huh? But you've still got the corn maze trap and the tentacle dodge. All you need to do is get fired up and go for the win! Woah, don't look over here. Focus on the enemy! You're fighting for the name of pirates everywhere, remember that!
Afterwards we can party until sundown on my boat. It's small, but we can ride through the big blue watery road and, hey, I've got a nautical themed pashmina afghan to go with it too! So good luck, don't back down and keep fighting! If it helps, I'll even throw in an extra prize if you win. I'll show you how I barbecue brains with just the tip of my finger. You like charred and extra crispy, right?
Poll Vote!
Character: Cleao Everlasting
Series: Sorcerous Stabber Orphen
Character Age: 17
Canon: Orphen is the story of one man's quest to find a way to save his cursed girlfriend and turn her from a dragon back into a human. Along the way he picks up an apprentice, Majic, and a tag-along, Cleao. Cleao initially invites herself along Orphen's quest out of boredom and curiousity-- after all, a daring quest with a sorcerer should be amazingly fun, right? (Wrong.) It probably helps that she's also crushing on Orphen just a little bit, even if she can't be honest with herself about it. Unfortunately for Orphen, Cleao is also the rightful owner of the only magical sword he needs to lift the curse, and she's not above using that as a pretext to force her way onto the team.
Cleao, however, is in for a bit of a nasty surprise. Brought up as a spoiled rich kid, Cleao knows only of life's luxuries and people catering to her. Camping on the ground, not having hot showers, eating canned food and being bossed around by a know-it-all sorcerer are not what she had in mind when she thought of the word "adventure". However, she's nothing if not willful and stubborn. She's determined to stick it out to the end, no matter how useless she feels sometimes. Being the only member without magical knowledge or power in the group, Cleao often tries to make up for this by attempting to be the group's emotional support-- although this sometimes backfires, as Cleao's selfish view on life sometimes leads her to speak without thinking. She's a good girl at heart once you get past her whining, her superficial whims and her bossy side; she does genuinely care about people, she just has an odd way of showing it.
Sample Post
"A town of magic and adventure, rich in culture, the wondrous town of Seefud!" Ah... no matter how you look at it, this place just doesn't look like how it's described in the guide book at all! Isn't this just a poor excuse for a country town? Honestly, what were they thinking, trying to trick tourists into coming here with this?! Everywhere you look it's just corn, corn, corn! I bet the famous "Walrus Onsen" is a fake, too! And I was so looking forward to it...! Why does every place I get excited about always have to be a bust? Was I cursed by the goddess of luck at an early age?
No, snap out of it! Pick yourself up, Cleao! It's like Daddy always used to say: you gotta... you gotta... ah well, whatever! I'm here now, I may as well make the most of it. Otherwise I'll have to return to hearing certain people being all smug and saying "I told you so, that'll teach you to go off on your own," and so forth! No! I absolutely won't accept that! You just sit down and watch me, country town! I, Cleao Everlasting, am going to be the best tourist you ever saw! I'll show you how it's done, ehehe. In fact, you'll be so grateful I'm here you'll be begging me to stay! First stop: Walrus Onsen!
You there, porter, carry my luggage, won't you? I don't care if you're under some kind of magical undead curse, you can still carry things just as well, can't you? You can't expect me to carry my own things all the way there. I've had a long journey and I'm tired! It's the least you could do. Honestly, this is why I don't like country towns, nobody ever has any manners...! Well, I guess it's not their fault they were brought up in such a deprived environment. Hmm, in that case, isn't it up to me to be a kind and benevolent instructor? That's right! I just need a different approach!
Um, hey, Mr. Porter? Listen... the truth is, I've got a friend who's a very powerful sorcerer, you know! And if I stay here long enough he's sure to come looking for me, and then we can sort out your whole magical undead curse thing, okay? So all hope's not lost! We'll get you sorted out in no time. ... So in exchange, I don't think it's too much to ask that you carry my stuff to the hotel or the onsen, right? Right? That's not your cue to walk away, you know! I'm your savior!! Savior!
Hmph. Fine, be that way. But just remember it'll be too late to come crying to me when you realize that you want to be a real boy later!
Poll Vote!
Name: Okumura Rin
Series: Ao no Exorcist
Age: 15
Canon: In Ao no Exorcist, there are two worlds: the human world and Hell. Normally it's impossible to cross freely from one to the other, but demons can loophole their way into the human world by possessing things - and anything from flowers to humans will do. Except for Satan himself, that is; Satan's Massive Power is too much for any container to handle without melting down. He has a son with a human mother who would be perfect, but there's a problem: the tsundere little hellspawn grew up loving his exorcist foster father superverymuch, and was kept oblivious and protected from the fact that he is literally the son of Satan. He is less than thrilled when he finds out, too. Thus the temperamental, rough around the edges prince of Hell, Okumura Rin, has made it his life goal to kick Satan's ass. Naturally, the best way to rebel against the Devil is to become a big damn exorcist.
Rin attends a Shounen Exorcist Cram School to gain the power to get biblical on his daddy. Though socially clumsy, brash, and cocky on the front, Rin is also very caring, protective, loyal, and determined. He picks fights over birds being bullied, and has been in the "protective big brother" role for years. He's kinda dumb (and he mangles basic everyday sayings like "keep your eyes peeled"), but he respects intelligence, and he is very determined to not screw up being an exorcist. Demons that come along calling him their prince are promptly stabbed at, and he tries not to fight bitter exorcists who try to kill him for his heritage. After all, his penalty for failure or being seen as a threat is worse than expulsion: it's execution.
Sample Post:
Holy crap, is there a test on this?
I mean, telling us exorcists-in-training that it's a small-fry mission and then making us prove ourselves in a field test is getting pretty normal, but isn't this one too obvious? Look at the size of that thing! Normally it's one scripture recital for one type of demon, but with a super-super-mode octopus monster like that, it looks like you'd have to recite the whole Bible to send it back to Hell! Or maybe one scripture per tentacle? I know I asked for the Camp Fuck You Die assignment, but I know when I'm chucked out of the frying pan and into the... silo... fire! Yeah! This is a hardcore, prove-yourself exorcism in a creepy haunted farm! They can't pull the sheep over my eyes the third time! The joke's on them. I'll exorcise this whole damn cornfield by myself if I have to!
So hey, peel your ears open, everybody! I'm one of the exorcists your Director sent for to check her new place out! You know, clear out all the supernatural influences outside her control, or something like that! She wanted an exorcist good enough to "make your head spin," and you better believe that's me. Rest assured, the crop circles, living farm equipment, and everything else is nothing to worry about. Pretty much everything is possessed by demons! You campers look slow, but you sure are great for figuring it out and calling for the right kind of help. I'll spin your heads clean off, no problem. Heck, I already warmed up on those weak-lookin' gangly guys that met me at the gate! They, er, might still be lookin' for those heads, actually. Sorry about that!
Anyway, all those crop circles you reported in the shape of... um, yeah-- Those are just stalks of corn being controlled by demons to draw pictures or write messages out to mess with humans. The whole field will clear right up and you'll get back your peaceful amber fields of grain or whatever. They're making fun of you now, but we'll see who's laughing after a crop dusting of holy water! Kinda boring as far as solutions go, 'cause between you and me, weedwhacking the shit out of the place sounds way more fun. But it's the same across the board. Psychic toucans? Demons. Strain of square-dancing gorillas in overalls? Weird demons. You guys have such an infestation it's almost a pain, but never fear! I'm definitely gonna take care of everything for you.
Just remember, it'll get noisy once they're being kicked out. Nobody listen to any ominous voices promising their dreams or anything on their way out, or you'll be their next meal ticket! All right, I'm totally being responsible! Giving warnings and everything! But I'm not worried about anyone makin' any deals with devils around here! There's gotta be a reason brains are so popular. Yep, you guys are way too smart for that. And you've got one hell of an Exorcist on your side! Besides, I'll get such an assful if I screw up.
...Wait, that doesn't sound right.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. eh, we're good here. Closed!
Character: Kanzaki Naoto
Series: di[e]ce
Character Age: 17
Canon: What's the best sixteenth birthday present for an avid gamer and fighter? Apparently for Naruse Kazuki, it's having his high school turn into something out of a horror game (zombie classmates included!), and being told that he won't get in trouble for beating everyone else up. In addition, he finds out this is all part of an extended metaphor for a chess game in which he's a super important "King" player. Even better, he doesn't have to go to school anymore. So life is 100% awesome, right? . . . Well, there is that one teensy detail about Kazuki having to kill his childhood friend in order to win. But hey, he can definitely find a way around that, right? Especially because he won't be alone, since every King is helped by loyal minions "players" named after the other chess pieces. One of these pieces is Kanzaki Naoto, or Kazuki's knight.
Mild-mannered high school student by day, ally of justice and enemy of evil by... 1 am every Monday morning, Naoto is the pretty face behind the suit in the popular TV show "Iron Masked Rider." He seems like an excellent teen idol who confidently fights plastic-suited monsters onscreen (or his stunt double does, at least) and is friendly off-camera, but Naoto also suffers from low self-esteem and a tendency to put others before himself. After getting caught up in di[e]ce and being forcefully convinced of his self-worth by Kazuki, Naoto becomes slightly less hesitant about expressing his opinions to others, even if he still does it politely. Despite his newfound spine, he continues to worry about the well-being of others over his own, often to the extent that he seems like an airhead about matters concerning himself. Either way, his main role now is to be the caring older teammate who generally goes along with whatever crazy situation he's been dragged into, although he's still sensible enough to make long-suffering comments.
Sample Post:
Let's see, the first scene is set in this clearing to the right of the pond. I've just woken up, and now I'm looking for my companions. There's the cornfield I have to pass, then the zombie and the water trough further on. . . O-oh, I almost didn't see you there! Good morning, you must be one of the extras. I can get out of the way if I'm bothering you; I'm just here to look around and get used to the new location before we start filming later. It's completely different from the cityscapes we've been using until now, isn't it? I heard the director wants to make things scarier to appeal to the older viewers, which explains the zombie costumes. On the other hand, we all agreed that it shouldn't be too scary for the children . . . I guess that's why he didn't go with the original swamp idea. But why a farm instead? Sometimes I wonder if the rumors about the creative staff pulling ideas out of a hat are true . . .
A-Anyway, you must be bored by now! Thank you for listening to me talk. . . I'm sorry, what was your name again? It sounded like Bray-san, but I don't think that's right. . . . Reins-san? -Oh, I get it! You were saying brains, brains! I'm sorry for misunderstanding, I didn't realize you were already getting in-character for your role. I suppose I should have guessed, since you've put on your costume so early in the day. I'm really impressed by your enthusiasm; let's work hard together. We can start by building a good working atmosphere and getting to know each other more-but I guess I can do most of the talking if you're still practicing. By the way, your costume is amazing too. The wardrobe department must have put a lot of effort into making it looks so realistic! . . . And, ah, please don't take this personally, but it smells quite real too. Is that really necessary? It's not like the viewers can smell it through the TV.
But you know, even though it's good to be so hardworking, it's also important to be careful. All your practice will be wasted if you push yourself too hard and get hurt during a fight scene; and then there's the weather too! What if you faint in the middle of a take because your suit is too stifling and you get overheated-ah, see, you're sweating a lot already! . . . I-I hope that's sweat, anyway. You'd better take a break for now and cool off. I can see a building over there, just past the edge of this cornfield. You should be able to sit down and rest once we get there. -Ah, maybe it's just me, but that building is a strange shape. It's even taller than I thought it was and the roof is rounded . . . oh, it must be the location mentioned in the script for the climactic fight against the final boss! I didn't know they'd started working on it already. This is good, though, since it means there should be staff members there. They can help you take off your costume and get you something to drink. See, I think there's someone on the roof. They're waving at . . . us . . .
W-Why is that tentacle monster so large?! And the script directions . . . this kind of fight definitely won't be appropriate for children to watch! Not to mention, even with a stuntman I'm fairly sure this violates my contract in a big way-!
Poll Vote!
Character: Katou Yue
Series: Angel Sanctuary
Character Age: 17 years old
Canon: In the late 1990s, a high school delinquent named Setsuna Mudou only wanted to date his sister. But when you're the reincarnation of Alexiel, an angel exiled from heaven for rebellion, life isn't that easy. There's a war to fight between Heaven and Hell--not to mention, Heaven's messed-up politics to deal with. And then there's attacks to fend off from Alexiel's obsessive twin brother, Rociel, who wants his sister back. Fortunately for Setsuna, he picked up a lot of friends along the way, all willing and eager to join in on the fight.
Katou was just a high school druggie right up until he met up with the wrong dealer and ended up dead soon afterward. But death was just the beginning for Katou, who wound up as Setsuna's guide in the underworld. With a little help from an angel named Uriel, Katou eventually got a new body (made of plants), and joined Setsuna in his fight. Katou is loud, abrasive, sometimes obnoxious, and a bit eccentric. He tries to pretend that he doesn't care about anyone, but it's all put on. He's loyal to a fault and self-sacrificing, going so far as to die for Setsuna several more times before it finally ends up being permanent.
Sample Post:
So! Here it is, a beautiful summer day, and naturally, I'm messing around and having a good time, right? Right?
WRONG!
Instead of doing something that even remotely resembles fun, I'm in a summer camp in the middle of Farmsville, USA. Oh yeah, and I'm getting chased around by the Zombie Children of the Corn. Now, all things considered, you'd think that they wouldn't be interested in me. After all, I'm lacking the normal kind of brains and flesh they usually go after in all those lame B-rated horror flicks on TV at two o'clock in the morning. But nooooo, I just had to get mauled by the only vegetarian horde of zombies ever created. Lucky me. Welcome to "It's a Screwed-Up Afterlife: Katou-Style."
But wait! It gets even better! I finally manage to get rid of the fucking zombies-- "kill" would imply they were still alive to begin with, so let's just say they stumbled into my katana.... several times, right up until they stopped moving. Vegetarian masochists here. And then the very second I'm done with them, I get to deal with the corn. "But Katou," you wonder, "What's so bad about corn?" Funny you should ask! The last time I saw anything like that, there was really this bad porn involved, and-- Okay, you know what? I'm not even gonna go there. And neither should the corn. That's just way beyond even the normal levels of fucked up. I'm never going to look at creamed corn the same way again.
At any rate, let's just say you guys are minus one section of sentient, perverted corn. It was justified self-defense, okay? And it's not like there isn't SEVERAL ACRES MORE around here or anything! OH WAIT.
You know what? Screw this. I'm pretty sure I saw a greenhouse somewhere back there. Let's see if I can't find something there to forget all this crap and start partying like it's 1999.
...Wait a minute. What the hell do you mean it's 2010?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Satou Jun
Series: Working!!
Age: 20
Canon: The day-to-day life of an average part-time waiter gets a little more interesting at Wagnaria family restaurant, where katana-carrying waitresses and blackmailing chefs are all just a part of the business. Working!! follows the lives of these restaurant employees both on and off the job, who happen to be just as quirky at home as they are at work. While most of the people working here shouldn't be left alone near the general public, there are the few individuals who manage to keep both the restaurant and its employees in one piece. Mostly.
Satou Jun is one of the chefs at Wagnaria who more-or-less goes along with the hectic flow of things from the safety of the kitchen. He's intimidating to look at, though fairly relaxed and helpful once you get past the emotionless stares. While he tends toward the quiet side and generally stays out of the way when things get too crazy, don't be mistaken. Satou's got a sharp tongue and plenty of dry humor to spare, particularly when he's feeling stressed or annoyed. He's also fond of teasing the younger members of the staff in ways frighteningly similar to a five-year-old, such as drawing on their faces or messing up their hair. He doesn't take too well to being teased in turn though, often taking up a frying pan for other than its intended purposes. Still, Satou's proved himself to be one of the more sensible and capable members of Wagnaria's staff whom genuinely cares for the restaurant and his co-workers, even if he fails horribly at expressing it.
Sample Post:
... Maybe this "cultural chef exchange program" was a bad idea. I've had the feeling it was a bad idea since I found out the culture I'd be cooking for was "zombie summer camp." How did that even get to be one of the options on the list? I don't understand what the manager expects me to learn here; this is going far past the differences between Japanese and American cuisine. Well, if she wants to serve Intestine-a-la-Swamp or Unidentifiable Meatloaf at a family restaurant, I suppose that's her decision. But hopefully she'll come to her senses before she gets the restaurant shut down for health code violations. Not to mention the numerous moral ones.
This is too far for a joke, isn't it? I'd guess assigning me an assistant chef meant they were serious, even if he's not what I was expecting. Someone normal, mostly. I haven't worked with a chef who needed a hair net to catch something other than hair before, but whatever keeps the kitchen sanitary. It's weird, though. I've worked with a lot of people who were worse in the kitchen than this guy, but there's something about Chef Boyardelicious that has me on edge. Must be my imagination.
Well, that's enough time wasted. I'm sure anything I learn to cook here is going to be illegal back in Japan and probably numerous other countries, but you won't let me go for the day until I've cooked at least one thing, huh? Got it... Looks like the most popular dish around here is the soup and the recipe itself is pretty straight forward. Even if the ingredients aren't. Eye of newt, toe of frog. This is supposed to be soup, right? Essence of male virg-
... It's better to just not think too hard about these ingredients while I work. Okay, four fresh brains to start with. Looks like our on-hand stock is running low, so we'll have to use yours.
... That was a joke. Put that away and go wash your hands again before you touch anything else. Maybe we'll just make salad instead.
Poll Vote!
Character: Portgas D. Ace
Series: One Piece
Character Age: 20
Canon: One Piece is about pirates going on a journey to accomplish their dreams and goals. The series itself centers around the main character, Monkey D. Luffy. Luffy's goal is to gather comrades, sail the seas and become the next Pirate King just like Gol D. Roger was. He's had this ambition ever since he was a child and he sets off to do exactly that once he's old enough to travel. Throughout his adventures, he gathers many comrades and builds up a motley crew of people who have their own dreams that coincide with his own. They journey together and enter the treacherous waters of the Grand Line, where their real adventure begins.
Now we have Portgas D. Ace, also known as the older brother of Monkey D. Luffy. Ace is sensible, polite and very easy to get along with. He easily charms Luffy's crew with his mannerisms before setting off to do what he thinks is right, which is to go after a traitorous crew member who killed another crew member thus shaming the name of his captain, Whitebeard. His captain is that important to him, he even goes so far as to call Whitebeard his father and will do anything to prove that he's worth being the next Pirate King. And he has the strength to back it up even without the powers he's gained from eating the Flame-Flame fruit. The Flamea-Flame fruit is called a Devil Fruit. Devil Fruits allow different powers to manifest in whoever eats one. However, anyone who eats one becomes a hammer in the water, which means that they sink and are unable to swim.
Note: This character is taken from chapter 159.
Sample Post: Pirates Vs Ninjas, the true battle among men. First up is Zombie Pirate Beauregraah'd; he's a mean 6 feet tall and he's got a peg leg that he isn't afraid to use. Second up is Zombie Ninja Brian who's 5 feet tall, smells like your mother's bad breath and knows just how to use his knives to make you fall to pieces. How will this battle go? Will the Pirates win for the treasure they seek? Or will the Ninjas overpower the pirates in their goal for guts, glory and a side of brains?
Well, that's what I'd like to say, but I'm really just here for the brains. They smell great! Did you use some kind of special sauce on them? Because that's what it tastes like- woahhh there, Pirate Beauregraah'd, I know it's getting hot in here but you don't need to take off all your clothes. Just 'cause I don't have a shirt on doesn't mean you shouldn't either. I mean, you need to keep your clothes on anyway. I think they're are the only things keeping you together. How'd you get like that anyway? Did you eat a Devil Fruit? If you did then that's kind of a weird power. Hey, there's no need to get angry. I'm just saying, okay?
You can't swim after you eat one so it's not all fun and games anyway. Guess this means you can't compete in the water raft race against the ninjas, huh? But you've still got the corn maze trap and the tentacle dodge. All you need to do is get fired up and go for the win! Woah, don't look over here. Focus on the enemy! You're fighting for the name of pirates everywhere, remember that!
Afterwards we can party until sundown on my boat. It's small, but we can ride through the big blue watery road and, hey, I've got a nautical themed pashmina afghan to go with it too! So good luck, don't back down and keep fighting! If it helps, I'll even throw in an extra prize if you win. I'll show you how I barbecue brains with just the tip of my finger. You like charred and extra crispy, right?
Poll Vote!
Character: Cleao Everlasting
Series: Sorcerous Stabber Orphen
Character Age: 17
Canon: Orphen is the story of one man's quest to find a way to save his cursed girlfriend and turn her from a dragon back into a human. Along the way he picks up an apprentice, Majic, and a tag-along, Cleao. Cleao initially invites herself along Orphen's quest out of boredom and curiousity-- after all, a daring quest with a sorcerer should be amazingly fun, right? (Wrong.) It probably helps that she's also crushing on Orphen just a little bit, even if she can't be honest with herself about it. Unfortunately for Orphen, Cleao is also the rightful owner of the only magical sword he needs to lift the curse, and she's not above using that as a pretext to force her way onto the team.
Cleao, however, is in for a bit of a nasty surprise. Brought up as a spoiled rich kid, Cleao knows only of life's luxuries and people catering to her. Camping on the ground, not having hot showers, eating canned food and being bossed around by a know-it-all sorcerer are not what she had in mind when she thought of the word "adventure". However, she's nothing if not willful and stubborn. She's determined to stick it out to the end, no matter how useless she feels sometimes. Being the only member without magical knowledge or power in the group, Cleao often tries to make up for this by attempting to be the group's emotional support-- although this sometimes backfires, as Cleao's selfish view on life sometimes leads her to speak without thinking. She's a good girl at heart once you get past her whining, her superficial whims and her bossy side; she does genuinely care about people, she just has an odd way of showing it.
Sample Post
"A town of magic and adventure, rich in culture, the wondrous town of Seefud!" Ah... no matter how you look at it, this place just doesn't look like how it's described in the guide book at all! Isn't this just a poor excuse for a country town? Honestly, what were they thinking, trying to trick tourists into coming here with this?! Everywhere you look it's just corn, corn, corn! I bet the famous "Walrus Onsen" is a fake, too! And I was so looking forward to it...! Why does every place I get excited about always have to be a bust? Was I cursed by the goddess of luck at an early age?
No, snap out of it! Pick yourself up, Cleao! It's like Daddy always used to say: you gotta... you gotta... ah well, whatever! I'm here now, I may as well make the most of it. Otherwise I'll have to return to hearing certain people being all smug and saying "I told you so, that'll teach you to go off on your own," and so forth! No! I absolutely won't accept that! You just sit down and watch me, country town! I, Cleao Everlasting, am going to be the best tourist you ever saw! I'll show you how it's done, ehehe. In fact, you'll be so grateful I'm here you'll be begging me to stay! First stop: Walrus Onsen!
You there, porter, carry my luggage, won't you? I don't care if you're under some kind of magical undead curse, you can still carry things just as well, can't you? You can't expect me to carry my own things all the way there. I've had a long journey and I'm tired! It's the least you could do. Honestly, this is why I don't like country towns, nobody ever has any manners...! Well, I guess it's not their fault they were brought up in such a deprived environment. Hmm, in that case, isn't it up to me to be a kind and benevolent instructor? That's right! I just need a different approach!
Um, hey, Mr. Porter? Listen... the truth is, I've got a friend who's a very powerful sorcerer, you know! And if I stay here long enough he's sure to come looking for me, and then we can sort out your whole magical undead curse thing, okay? So all hope's not lost! We'll get you sorted out in no time. ... So in exchange, I don't think it's too much to ask that you carry my stuff to the hotel or the onsen, right? Right? That's not your cue to walk away, you know! I'm your savior!! Savior!
Hmph. Fine, be that way. But just remember it'll be too late to come crying to me when you realize that you want to be a real boy later!
Poll Vote!
Name: Okumura Rin
Series: Ao no Exorcist
Age: 15
Canon: In Ao no Exorcist, there are two worlds: the human world and Hell. Normally it's impossible to cross freely from one to the other, but demons can loophole their way into the human world by possessing things - and anything from flowers to humans will do. Except for Satan himself, that is; Satan's Massive Power is too much for any container to handle without melting down. He has a son with a human mother who would be perfect, but there's a problem: the tsundere little hellspawn grew up loving his exorcist foster father superverymuch, and was kept oblivious and protected from the fact that he is literally the son of Satan. He is less than thrilled when he finds out, too. Thus the temperamental, rough around the edges prince of Hell, Okumura Rin, has made it his life goal to kick Satan's ass. Naturally, the best way to rebel against the Devil is to become a big damn exorcist.
Rin attends a Shounen Exorcist Cram School to gain the power to get biblical on his daddy. Though socially clumsy, brash, and cocky on the front, Rin is also very caring, protective, loyal, and determined. He picks fights over birds being bullied, and has been in the "protective big brother" role for years. He's kinda dumb (and he mangles basic everyday sayings like "keep your eyes peeled"), but he respects intelligence, and he is very determined to not screw up being an exorcist. Demons that come along calling him their prince are promptly stabbed at, and he tries not to fight bitter exorcists who try to kill him for his heritage. After all, his penalty for failure or being seen as a threat is worse than expulsion: it's execution.
Sample Post:
Holy crap, is there a test on this?
I mean, telling us exorcists-in-training that it's a small-fry mission and then making us prove ourselves in a field test is getting pretty normal, but isn't this one too obvious? Look at the size of that thing! Normally it's one scripture recital for one type of demon, but with a super-super-mode octopus monster like that, it looks like you'd have to recite the whole Bible to send it back to Hell! Or maybe one scripture per tentacle? I know I asked for the Camp Fuck You Die assignment, but I know when I'm chucked out of the frying pan and into the... silo... fire! Yeah! This is a hardcore, prove-yourself exorcism in a creepy haunted farm! They can't pull the sheep over my eyes the third time! The joke's on them. I'll exorcise this whole damn cornfield by myself if I have to!
So hey, peel your ears open, everybody! I'm one of the exorcists your Director sent for to check her new place out! You know, clear out all the supernatural influences outside her control, or something like that! She wanted an exorcist good enough to "make your head spin," and you better believe that's me. Rest assured, the crop circles, living farm equipment, and everything else is nothing to worry about. Pretty much everything is possessed by demons! You campers look slow, but you sure are great for figuring it out and calling for the right kind of help. I'll spin your heads clean off, no problem. Heck, I already warmed up on those weak-lookin' gangly guys that met me at the gate! They, er, might still be lookin' for those heads, actually. Sorry about that!
Anyway, all those crop circles you reported in the shape of... um, yeah-- Those are just stalks of corn being controlled by demons to draw pictures or write messages out to mess with humans. The whole field will clear right up and you'll get back your peaceful amber fields of grain or whatever. They're making fun of you now, but we'll see who's laughing after a crop dusting of holy water! Kinda boring as far as solutions go, 'cause between you and me, weedwhacking the shit out of the place sounds way more fun. But it's the same across the board. Psychic toucans? Demons. Strain of square-dancing gorillas in overalls? Weird demons. You guys have such an infestation it's almost a pain, but never fear! I'm definitely gonna take care of everything for you.
Just remember, it'll get noisy once they're being kicked out. Nobody listen to any ominous voices promising their dreams or anything on their way out, or you'll be their next meal ticket! All right, I'm totally being responsible! Giving warnings and everything! But I'm not worried about anyone makin' any deals with devils around here! There's gotta be a reason brains are so popular. Yep, you guys are way too smart for that. And you've got one hell of an Exorcist on your side! Besides, I'll get such an assful if I screw up.
...Wait, that doesn't sound right.
Poll Vote!