(no subject)
VOTIN' ALL NIGHT LONG.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED I think I will make the line fat this time
Character: Ys Cordelan.
Series: Immortal Rain.
Character Age: Appears to be 9.
Canon: Canon: Being immortal? Sucks. Sure, it's got great health benefits and you have plenty of time to work on your stamp collection, but you also get to watch everyone you love eventually grow old and die. Not to mention, people aren't always welcoming to those who don't follow the trend, so you might get the short end of the hospitality stick and a pitchfork. After being made into a methuselah, an immortal being that is not a vampire, Rain comes to learn all of this and more as he wanders the Earth alone for six hundred years. At least, he isn't alone for part of the way when a high-spirited fifteen year old named Machika tags along with Rain, vowing to be his grim reaper. It isn't until Machika comes face to face with Rain's past-friend-now-foe, Yuca, that she understands the real price of immortality.
But behind each immortal, there is a man who made him so, and for Rain that person is Yuca. Unlike Rain, Yuca was born immortal, reincarnating with memories from his every past life since time began. As he continues to lose touch with reality, Yuca wants only to stop his eternal cycle, by making sure no one is alive to give birth to him. In this incarnation, Yuca is the adopted son of the head of a major biological weapons company, Ys. Normally, he is a kind and charismatic child prodigy, but when the facade is torn down as people realize his immortality, Ys becomes arrogant and quick to cut. He has no patience to spare, prefers to command and hold all of the cards. Ys doesn't rely on the others, and doesn't give any consideration to life either, especially his own. Still, after reincarnating several times, Ys is unbelievably intelligent, able to call up ancient and advanced knowledge instantly. Ys may not like immortality, but he does make sure it works for him.
Sample Entry:
Really, it's alright! I think you should share with everyone else. It's not fair to give all of this, ah, kelp-candy to one person. Please, don't touch. Stop, plea-Stop touching me! Now, listen. No more candy, no more moogles, and no more board games, especially ones depicting the wonderful journey through life. I am not going to ask how you know about my twenty most recent deaths, and I do not want to know. And the precise term is a land slide, not "rocks fall". Now, I will not repeat myself: The next person, or living dead if there is a difference, who fails to follow these simple instructions will be-. . . Will be shot, whether you have ears or not. Camp has provided unlimited ammunition, and as you are all aware, I have infinite time. If I need to, I can be creative.
. . . Good. I don't understand this Director's purpose in creating an encampment like this as she is clearly capable of much more than stripping people of their clothes, or rudimentary reanimation. She prevents death, so that she can enjoy her equivalent of a child's ant farm. -No, that does mean that I want one. And if you come a step closer with it, then I will consider it a board game. That aside, while I can see the appeal of playing God to a novice, it loses any meaning once Stockholm syndrome sets in. And it has; the compliance of everyone here, trusting in the greater plan, is a sure sign. This camp has become a dream, and everyone within it is asleep. When you are all being brought back to your last hour of life again and again, held here for eternity, then you'll realize it's a nightmare. However, I do not have plans to wait that long. . . Or to be treated as a child that needs safety scissors to cut his wires. You? You will be exposed to sarin gas first.
With the situation as it is, I have two options: Eliminate the barrier, or eliminate everything, organic and inorganic, within the barrier so nothing is left alive. Normally, I would choose the former for ease, but as the Director wishes to prevent escape even in death, I refuse to play nicely in turn. Not that it matters, but those moogles should wear a warning. Not everyone is grasping at life as strongly as the zombies, if stumbling around with no fingers could be called grasping. This may even be a blessing for them. Now, as you are all aware of the circumstances, I advise you to make your time. I don't care how you choose to, nor do I have any suggestions for your last moments, but whoever decides to play hero will receive as many painful deaths possible in twenty minutes or until they choose to admit defeat.
Fine. We can play Clue in the meantime.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Noodle
Series: Gorillaz
Age: Fifteen (as of the end of the Demon Days album plot)
Canon: The band Gorillaz began as a musical experiment by the singer of the band Blur and the artist of the comic book Tank Girl, creating a fictional band to be the face of the music. They're not only a gimmick for the music videos; in order to make their fiction as realistic as possible the cartoon band members are also the ones who give interviews about the band, the ones who've written an autobiography about themselves, and each member has been given their own personality, backstory, and a story arc that they advance through in real time as new CDs come out.
Noodle is the guitarist of the group, and she is a young woman with a mission. She views the world as being infected by a cultural "disease" (in her eyes zombies, real in her world, are basically the poster child of it, which comes up a lot in their work and videos), one spread by reality shows and manufactured pop culture that trains people not to think and makes the world stagnate. In her eyes Gorillaz has become a way to get people to open up their eyes and start to think and feel again, both through their own music and by encouraging other people to create.
This doesn't mean that she's all serious and doom and gloom about her mission. Entirely the opposite in fact. Although she does take music seriously and will go into occasional rants on the subject, the message she wants to get across is one of retaining childlike joy and enthusiasm, of not blinding yourself to the wonders of the world, and of holding onto some innocence even when the world seems bleak.
Note: Noodle speaks English as a second language. Although she's almost completely fluent (to the point of even having a better vocabulary than many kids her age) it occasionally does show a bit. She sometimes drops words or constructs her sentences a little unusually (either in word order, or in dragging one out like she's trying to make sure she packed in her entire thought clearly), and uses fewer contractions than most native speakers.
Hello!
Thank you very much for inviting me to Camp Fearless Youth Dancers! It has been a long time since my last visit to America, but when I was told that this camp was built on the efforts of many people doing their best to honor many of the great artists of our time, recognizing all genres and mediums, I had to come see. Maybe even find new talent for future videos!
But what I have seen so far is... Maybe, I think, you've misunderstood the message we're trying to communicate with our work? We often use zombie imagery, yes, but we do not try to say it is something to be celebrated, or emulated, or to theme an entire dance camp around. Your costume designers have done very good work--much realism!--but if you have chosen this theme because you wished to make a good impression you need to try to pay more attention to the substance of a work than the style. Watch, think, learn!
Besides that, ah, I do not want to insult you, or the unique influence Mr. Jackson had on popular culture, but Thriller was almost thirty years ago! You must have other dances that you can show, right? You have performed this three times already; even when you are trying to follow a theme you can not just mindlessly repeat the same thing again and again! To live without changing, to thoughtlessly repeat the past, it is as if you want to be like real zombies.
Watch, I can help you! The music is for having fun with, not for feeling trapped in routine! Loosen up, bounce around, sing with the music if that is what makes you happy. Your booty will not fall off if you shake it!
O-or maybe I am wrong about that, I see. You did not need to pull it off and show me!
But I understand now. I have been invited here because this place has a message for me, yes? That even in a place fueled by creativity we must not forget to fight against the disease, or it will arrive and try to stomp that spark out! Then I will not be idle. If there is anyone left here who still lives with thought and feeling, let us fight back against the soulless undead, show them what talent can do when not left stagnant since 1983!
Let's dance.
Poll Vote!
Character: Stan Marsh
Series: South Park
Character Age: 9
Canon: The TV show "South Park" revolves mostly around the shenanigans of five foul-mouthed fourth-graders from the sleepy little mountain town of South Park, Colorado: Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, Butters Leopold, Kenny McCormick, and Stan Marsh. Stan serves as the group's leader, and as such, he is much closer to "average" than most of his friends. He comes from a middle class family, he participates in athletics, and he plays video games like an average kid. He also serves as the voice of reason amidst the chaotic backdrop of what goes down in South Park. For the most part, Stan is wise despite his age... or perhaps in spite of it. When the adults (usually led by Stan's own father) panic over something, it is usually Stan who makes the bold statement that people are overreacting.
Stan also values his family and friends very much. When Kyle is placed at the bottom of a list by the grade's girls that ranks the class's boys from cutest to ugliest, he takes it upon himself to try to convince the girls that Kyle was placed too low. When his parents get a divorce, he goes to great lengths to set them back up, even getting his new stepfather caught in a bear trap. He'll do almost anything to help those about whom he cares, and he can more often than not be counted on to do what's right, though like any person, he is sometimes blinded by his emotions. It's the odd combination of his naivete, compassion, and common sense that makes Stan Marsh South Park's everyman. Or, uh, "everyboy."
Sample Post:
Okay, Mr. Zombie Guy. I know you guys like brains and everything, but I don't know how to get a hold of any, so I got you some KFC. Will you please let me go see the director lady now?
Why do I wanna talk to her?!? Because I don't wanna be in this fucked up summer camp, that's why! Look at this brochure, dude. The summer camp I was supposed to go to has water slides and laser tag. This place has redneck zombies and that mechanical bull that you guys put a big, metal wiener on. And what the hell's going on with those fluffy guys with the poofballs on their head? They think I'm one of their kind all because my hat has a red poofball on it, and now they want me to give them "Kupo nuts" and "exchange them for valuable items" and stuff. And come on, dude. This place is a goddamn farm. If my friends find out that my parents sent me to a farm for summer camp, everybody's gonna think I'm super lame. Think about it. You don't wanna be the reason that people think I'm super lame after I gave you all that KFC, do you?
What am I even gonna do for fun in this boring ass camp? None of my friends are here, I don't have any video games or stuff, we're in the middle of a stupid farm, and the farm animals aren't even real, so I can't even tip the cows over. I don't wanna make macaroni art or paint pictures or learn how to put a zombie back together or something, and I think most of the campers here are a little too old to enjoy stuff like that anyway. I just wanna hang out with my real friends and do normal kid stuff, like throwing rocks at cars or setting off fireworks or -- Wait, what are you handing me? ...A shotgun? Seriously? You're giving a nine year-old kid a loaded shotgun, and you're just gonna send him into a camp full of people unsupervised? Jesus Christ, dude! Why don't you just give me a six pack of beer or something while you're -- Dude! You're not supposed to give a little kid alcohol! That's, like, bad for us and stuff!
No, you know what? Screw this. Just take your stupid shotgun back and let me talk to the director already, because I'm not gonna stay in your stupid summer camp. Why the hell would you put a bunch of people in a farm filled with -- dude, stop trying to give me beer -- filled with things that try to eat them or have sex with them?!? And why the hell is everybody so much older than me?!? What kind of summer camp are you trying to -- NO I DO NOT WANT A SIX PACK OF BEER, GODDAMMIT!!!
...Alright, dude, I changed my mind. Give me back the shotgun. Dammit. I wasted twenty bucks on that KFC.
Poll Vote!
Character: Iono Mito Archeline
Series: Iono the Fanatics/Iono-sama Fanatics
Age: not given, but appears to be in the 19-21 range.
Canon: Let's be honest: a good ruler is hard to find. It's just not often that you come across a monarch who is kind, confident, charismatic, wise, caring, brave, empathetic, and possessing of a genuine love for the people of her country. But fear not, loyal subjects! Iono Mito Archeline, the queen of "a small country, but a country all the same," is one of those rare souls who meet all of the above standards-plus, she's drop-dead gorgeous. Why, if she weren't such a competent and beloved leader, it would almost be a shame that she spends most of her time using those traits to lure nubile young women to her kingdom... and her bed.
Iono the Fanatics is the story of a cheerful lesbian queen on her travels to Japan to pick up some sexy black-haired Japanese girls for her harem (1,000+ strong and growing!). On the way she wins many hearts, strikes fear in many more, and stresses out her sobame (harem girls) with her carefree antics. Iono believes in living her life to the fullest, without regrets, and in bringing her love for life to everyone else she meets-not to mention her love for the female form. But even those who don't swing that way, or who happen to be men, can't help but be charmed by the way Iono remains true to her quirky self. It's said that she accepted the throne in order to rid the world of sadness. Hitting on as many girls as she can get her hands on is a pretty close second on the royal agenda, though, and she is very candid and shameless in her methods.
Sample Post:
Ahhhh! ♥ Now that I've finally arrived, I can't believe it took me so long to set my sights on American shores! I will have to commend Miss Elizabeth on her tastes in many things, should we cross paths. Landscaping~ cozy accommodations~ girls~ ♪ I hope she won't take it personally that I plan on stealing away a few of her sobame for my own. I'm only trying to embrace the values of this strange new country: freedom and choice! Which means, of course, that if some of Elizabeth's girls happen to end up ensnared by me, they had the freedom to choose to do so~. And if she does blame me for that, we'll just have to make a daring, romantic escape, won't we? Ohoho! With countless ebony-haired maidens waiting on her hand and foot, surely she won't miss a few. I'll even restrain myself to just one-of every type. Let's see, tsundere... strong and silent... mischievous...
And clumsy! ♥ Why, hello, there, my dear. How fortunate that you just happened to trip on that large rock I carefully placed there, and into my waiting arms! It's clear the hand of fate was at work in our meeting! Now that I have you in my grasp, I'm afraid I can't just let you go. Your jet-black locks shine like-ah? They're shining with... don't tell me? It's true! Your hair is blonde under all of that muck. I see... you're not the clumsy type at all~ ♪ Rather, you're the "shut-in with poor personal hygiene" type. How tricky of you! Ah, but I never misjudge a woman's beauty, however well-hidden it may be. I believe in embracing and loving every layer of a girl's soul~ even the ones muddied with fertilizer. Let's take a dip in the hot springs together and unveil the true colors of both curtains and-
-Ah, another rejection! What a shame... even if she didn't really have black hair, I'm sure she would have cleaned up nicely. An eyepatch might have helped the look, too. I wonder if that's a common problem here? Could it be that Miss Elizabeth is running something of a clinic for sick and injured sobame? Then it's no wonder that they're all so loyal to her-and so easy to catch! That does change the atmosphere a little. I may not get any use out of this cowgirl costume and lasso I had specially prepared... it was my dream to chase a girl wearing revealing chaps through the cornfields~ and then, a roll in the hay? Ufufu! But that shall have to wait. Now that I look more closely, the girls here have a certain lifeless aura. The once-thrilling sound of their moaning is more pained and raspy than titillating! On my honor as a queen, it wouldn't be right to take advantage of a desperately ill girl. I have only one option:
Attention, my ailing lovelies~! If any one of you wishes to join my harem, I promise to give you the best health care my prosperous nation can provide before we consummate our relationship! Of course, we'll start with the natural healing powers of nude steam baths, sensual massages, salves rubbed lovingly into the skin... ♥
... And even if your answer is still no, please, someone tell the lovely one-eyed shut-in girl that she's left her foot behind? It's a rather extreme version of Cinderella's glass slipper, but I'll take it. ♪
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Elaine Belloc
Series: Lucifer
Character Age: Dies at age 12, goes on to manifest herself as a 16-17 year old girl, goes on to be limitless agewise. CONFUSING! She's camper aged.
Canon: Lucifer documents how life really does start after retirement - or at least it does for Lucifer Morningstar, once ruler of Hell, now lounge pianist. The problem is, Lucifer doesn't quite know how to quit being himself. But despite the eponymous title, this story isn't just about Lucifer - it also tells the tale of Elaine Belloc, seemingly normal schoolgirl who happens to be able to talk to ghosts. As it is revealed, she is far less normal than that; she is the daughter of the Archangel Michael. Her story really begins with her death: since she died to save Lucifer's life, Lucifer saves her in return, and gives her a place as the guardian spirit of everything (except hedgehogs) in his new cosmos.
Elaine's story doesn't end there. When the God of the original Creation disappears, the cosmos Elaine was born in begins to fall apart, and there aren't many successors. Lucifer knows that either he or Elaine must step up to become the next God of all Creation - and Lucifer's damn sure that it won't be him. So Lucifer helps Elaine to become a creator herself after the death of her father, Michael, and guides her to take a seat on the throne of God. Elaine becomes God of all three Creations: the original, Lucifer's, and her own. But she's a very different God to her predecessor. Elaine believes in mercy over punishment, refusing to create a Hell. Kind, forthright, and always willing to try to help others, she's frustrated easily, but carries a quick wit. Even post-apotheosis, Elaine keeps all of these personality traits - she's still easily frustrated, it's just that her frustrations now exist on a rather more universal level.
Sample Post:
You know, my mother told me something that seemed really strange once, about prayer. She said that you don't ever pray because you expect an answer, you pray so you can work out exactly what it is that you want. That way, you can go and achieve your goals with a clear mind. I think I understand that a lot better these days. Of course, some prayers just aren't things a person can do by themselves, and that's what's sad about it. If you're a tree that grows only underwear, you probably won't be able to grow leaves, no matter how often you ask. So many people talk to God with requests like these and go wanting, and it seems like they aren't listened to. That's why I came here, really, even though there's nothing to be done about the barrier holding all of you here. The task is too small. God can't restock the donuts at the corner shop, or make your ex-girlfriend love you again. It would be like scratching an itch with a nuclear bomb -- tricky, and not a very good idea. But I came here, just to let you all know that you haven't been forgotten, or unheard. It's just that no one wants to accidentally erase the fabric of the cosmos.
Saying that, there's a few prayers here I just wouldn't answer, if I were God. I'm not picky, I can roll with anything -- but Marcy, the monster you keep in the grain silo, is one of the most perverted creatures I've ever come across. There was a lament of how she misses grabbing people's legs, then half an essay on the most comfortable places in the human anatomy to place a - I won't go on. But since you've put a cephalopod in a grain silo, I can't really say I blame her. Anyone who's imprisoned gets restless, believe me. It's not my part to do anything about it, but maybe you should try to get her back to somewhere more spacious whenever you can -- for the sake of your ankles, if nothing else.
While we're on the topic, there's a lot of complaints from the wildlife, too. When the undead talk, it's just a hungry chorus of brains, please, and the cows are really unhappy about the zombies trying to bite them. Also, something about being tipped, and I assume that's nothing to do with waiting on tables. If you add that to all of the campers' complaints of being bored, and angry, and angry about being bored, it seems like maybe you should all do more farming. Look after the cows, maybe feed the zombies something that isn't brain, get them used to it. That'd solve everyone's problems. Well, except Marcy's, but that's probably better for everyone.
Okay, the topic in question does make me a little obvious -- but I'm new at this. Technically I am God, but please just call me Elaine. It doesn't help if you make a fuss about it - if you insist on keeping a sacred cow, you'll only get spoiled milk.
Poll Vote!
Character: Thomas Shepherd (Speed)
Series: Young Avengers
Character Age: 16
Canon: Tommy Shepherd was just a normal kid, until one day it turned out that he wasn't. In fact, it turned out that he was a speedster who can also accelerate and destabilize atomic matter (read: blow things up). He might have accidentally blown up his high school, and got sent to a mutant juvenile detainment center where he was imprisoned and intensively experimented on. Thankfully he was eventually rescued by a bunch of teenagers in spandex. Come to think of it, Tommy's life is very normal, in a Marvel sort of way.
Said spandexed kids who broke him out of mutant juvie were the Young Avengers, and eventually Tommy becomes one as well. He's not exactly the ideal superhero type, though. His attention span is rather short, he has definite (although justified, what with being locked up and experimented on) issues with authority, and is motivated less by the justice of saving people and more by the potential of looking awesome, having access to awesome gadgets, and generally being awesome. If the world saw Tommy how he wanted to be seen, he'd be a super slick too-cool-for-school jock type, always ready with a quick comeback, and infinitely attractive to the ladies. In actuality, he's a little bit of a dork, loves playing around with kids, doesn't really trust anyone to see his gooey center, and isn't comfortable when they do. Pop culture, flirting, and snarky comments are way more fun than talking about or dealing with his emo past. Most of his team are trying to emphasize the 'hero' part of 'teenaged superhero', but not Tommy. He's doing the best that he can to nominally be a superhero while simultaneously being a sarcastic wiseass.
Sample: Someone's got to feel like catching a speedster up. I'll make it worth your while. Informed chicks get dates! Just think, you, me, a candle-lit dinner, and the...corn... You know what, who cares about location when you've got me? Don't be shy, ladies. There's all sorts of advantages to dating a guy who vibrates. Think about it. So, any takers? Or am I stuck reading the signs?
Huh. Camp Fuck You Die? Of what, boredom? I'm all for extra opportunities for gratuitous swear words, but this? Seriously lame. Where the hell are we, Kansas? Come on, cornfields are the most boring thing ever. I'll keep an eye out for hockey masks, suspiciously lifelike scarecrows, people singing, and other scary crap between stalks. But that takes like two seconds. What else is there to do around here? Kick anklebiting munchkins? Follow a yellow-brick road? Video games? Porn? Porny video games? I'm flexible. Really flexible, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, still waiting on that explanation! It's been one hell of a past half hour. One minute I'm with the gang getting bitched at for not being a team player, and the next, Kansas. It's not even my fault this time. I stayed through the whole stupid meeting, even if it is hilarious to catch the look on Captain Uptight's face when I run downtown for a pizza without anybody noticing. "Don't use your powers for eeeevil, Tommy, blah blah delinquent blah great responsibility blah blah blah." Whatever. How do you corn people feel about evil? Don't think I missed those albino kids out there. Seven of 'em. And they've got scythes. Nobody cares? Awesome.
Oh, hey, there's zombies. Woo, zombies. I'm so scaaared. They aren't even the cool kind, just the slow ones. Someone's been watching too much Romero. All the movies were totally right about the cool squish-boom when you blow 'em up, but nobody ever talks about the smell. Ugh. Zombies and farms don't even go well together. Shambling through a cornfield? No way they can hang on to style points. Or all their limbs. Majorly unsanitary. In fact, this whole place is a genre disaster. Don't think I didn't notice all of you kids with funny hair and weird clothes and big swords. What is this, some kind of crazy corn-belt zombie-themed comic book convention? Not that I've ever been to one of those, but c'mon. What sort of message are we sending here? Someone think of the children. And not the rotting ones or the ones with the weird googly eyes. How do those even stay in your skull, magical Japan-logic? It's downright freaky, and I've seen some freaky shit. No, really. You think they hand out superhero spandex to just anybody? You've got to have a capacity for the weird. A really big one. And let me tell you, aliens and robots and alien robots have nothing on little pink haired girls with eyes bigger than my fist. That's some horror for you.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED I think I will make the line fat this time
Character: Ys Cordelan.
Series: Immortal Rain.
Character Age: Appears to be 9.
Canon: Canon: Being immortal? Sucks. Sure, it's got great health benefits and you have plenty of time to work on your stamp collection, but you also get to watch everyone you love eventually grow old and die. Not to mention, people aren't always welcoming to those who don't follow the trend, so you might get the short end of the hospitality stick and a pitchfork. After being made into a methuselah, an immortal being that is not a vampire, Rain comes to learn all of this and more as he wanders the Earth alone for six hundred years. At least, he isn't alone for part of the way when a high-spirited fifteen year old named Machika tags along with Rain, vowing to be his grim reaper. It isn't until Machika comes face to face with Rain's past-friend-now-foe, Yuca, that she understands the real price of immortality.
But behind each immortal, there is a man who made him so, and for Rain that person is Yuca. Unlike Rain, Yuca was born immortal, reincarnating with memories from his every past life since time began. As he continues to lose touch with reality, Yuca wants only to stop his eternal cycle, by making sure no one is alive to give birth to him. In this incarnation, Yuca is the adopted son of the head of a major biological weapons company, Ys. Normally, he is a kind and charismatic child prodigy, but when the facade is torn down as people realize his immortality, Ys becomes arrogant and quick to cut. He has no patience to spare, prefers to command and hold all of the cards. Ys doesn't rely on the others, and doesn't give any consideration to life either, especially his own. Still, after reincarnating several times, Ys is unbelievably intelligent, able to call up ancient and advanced knowledge instantly. Ys may not like immortality, but he does make sure it works for him.
Sample Entry:
Really, it's alright! I think you should share with everyone else. It's not fair to give all of this, ah, kelp-candy to one person. Please, don't touch. Stop, plea-Stop touching me! Now, listen. No more candy, no more moogles, and no more board games, especially ones depicting the wonderful journey through life. I am not going to ask how you know about my twenty most recent deaths, and I do not want to know. And the precise term is a land slide, not "rocks fall". Now, I will not repeat myself: The next person, or living dead if there is a difference, who fails to follow these simple instructions will be-. . . Will be shot, whether you have ears or not. Camp has provided unlimited ammunition, and as you are all aware, I have infinite time. If I need to, I can be creative.
. . . Good. I don't understand this Director's purpose in creating an encampment like this as she is clearly capable of much more than stripping people of their clothes, or rudimentary reanimation. She prevents death, so that she can enjoy her equivalent of a child's ant farm. -No, that does mean that I want one. And if you come a step closer with it, then I will consider it a board game. That aside, while I can see the appeal of playing God to a novice, it loses any meaning once Stockholm syndrome sets in. And it has; the compliance of everyone here, trusting in the greater plan, is a sure sign. This camp has become a dream, and everyone within it is asleep. When you are all being brought back to your last hour of life again and again, held here for eternity, then you'll realize it's a nightmare. However, I do not have plans to wait that long. . . Or to be treated as a child that needs safety scissors to cut his wires. You? You will be exposed to sarin gas first.
With the situation as it is, I have two options: Eliminate the barrier, or eliminate everything, organic and inorganic, within the barrier so nothing is left alive. Normally, I would choose the former for ease, but as the Director wishes to prevent escape even in death, I refuse to play nicely in turn. Not that it matters, but those moogles should wear a warning. Not everyone is grasping at life as strongly as the zombies, if stumbling around with no fingers could be called grasping. This may even be a blessing for them. Now, as you are all aware of the circumstances, I advise you to make your time. I don't care how you choose to, nor do I have any suggestions for your last moments, but whoever decides to play hero will receive as many painful deaths possible in twenty minutes or until they choose to admit defeat.
Fine. We can play Clue in the meantime.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Noodle
Series: Gorillaz
Age: Fifteen (as of the end of the Demon Days album plot)
Canon: The band Gorillaz began as a musical experiment by the singer of the band Blur and the artist of the comic book Tank Girl, creating a fictional band to be the face of the music. They're not only a gimmick for the music videos; in order to make their fiction as realistic as possible the cartoon band members are also the ones who give interviews about the band, the ones who've written an autobiography about themselves, and each member has been given their own personality, backstory, and a story arc that they advance through in real time as new CDs come out.
Noodle is the guitarist of the group, and she is a young woman with a mission. She views the world as being infected by a cultural "disease" (in her eyes zombies, real in her world, are basically the poster child of it, which comes up a lot in their work and videos), one spread by reality shows and manufactured pop culture that trains people not to think and makes the world stagnate. In her eyes Gorillaz has become a way to get people to open up their eyes and start to think and feel again, both through their own music and by encouraging other people to create.
This doesn't mean that she's all serious and doom and gloom about her mission. Entirely the opposite in fact. Although she does take music seriously and will go into occasional rants on the subject, the message she wants to get across is one of retaining childlike joy and enthusiasm, of not blinding yourself to the wonders of the world, and of holding onto some innocence even when the world seems bleak.
Note: Noodle speaks English as a second language. Although she's almost completely fluent (to the point of even having a better vocabulary than many kids her age) it occasionally does show a bit. She sometimes drops words or constructs her sentences a little unusually (either in word order, or in dragging one out like she's trying to make sure she packed in her entire thought clearly), and uses fewer contractions than most native speakers.
Hello!
Thank you very much for inviting me to Camp Fearless Youth Dancers! It has been a long time since my last visit to America, but when I was told that this camp was built on the efforts of many people doing their best to honor many of the great artists of our time, recognizing all genres and mediums, I had to come see. Maybe even find new talent for future videos!
But what I have seen so far is... Maybe, I think, you've misunderstood the message we're trying to communicate with our work? We often use zombie imagery, yes, but we do not try to say it is something to be celebrated, or emulated, or to theme an entire dance camp around. Your costume designers have done very good work--much realism!--but if you have chosen this theme because you wished to make a good impression you need to try to pay more attention to the substance of a work than the style. Watch, think, learn!
Besides that, ah, I do not want to insult you, or the unique influence Mr. Jackson had on popular culture, but Thriller was almost thirty years ago! You must have other dances that you can show, right? You have performed this three times already; even when you are trying to follow a theme you can not just mindlessly repeat the same thing again and again! To live without changing, to thoughtlessly repeat the past, it is as if you want to be like real zombies.
Watch, I can help you! The music is for having fun with, not for feeling trapped in routine! Loosen up, bounce around, sing with the music if that is what makes you happy. Your booty will not fall off if you shake it!
O-or maybe I am wrong about that, I see. You did not need to pull it off and show me!
But I understand now. I have been invited here because this place has a message for me, yes? That even in a place fueled by creativity we must not forget to fight against the disease, or it will arrive and try to stomp that spark out! Then I will not be idle. If there is anyone left here who still lives with thought and feeling, let us fight back against the soulless undead, show them what talent can do when not left stagnant since 1983!
Let's dance.
Poll Vote!
Character: Stan Marsh
Series: South Park
Character Age: 9
Canon: The TV show "South Park" revolves mostly around the shenanigans of five foul-mouthed fourth-graders from the sleepy little mountain town of South Park, Colorado: Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, Butters Leopold, Kenny McCormick, and Stan Marsh. Stan serves as the group's leader, and as such, he is much closer to "average" than most of his friends. He comes from a middle class family, he participates in athletics, and he plays video games like an average kid. He also serves as the voice of reason amidst the chaotic backdrop of what goes down in South Park. For the most part, Stan is wise despite his age... or perhaps in spite of it. When the adults (usually led by Stan's own father) panic over something, it is usually Stan who makes the bold statement that people are overreacting.
Stan also values his family and friends very much. When Kyle is placed at the bottom of a list by the grade's girls that ranks the class's boys from cutest to ugliest, he takes it upon himself to try to convince the girls that Kyle was placed too low. When his parents get a divorce, he goes to great lengths to set them back up, even getting his new stepfather caught in a bear trap. He'll do almost anything to help those about whom he cares, and he can more often than not be counted on to do what's right, though like any person, he is sometimes blinded by his emotions. It's the odd combination of his naivete, compassion, and common sense that makes Stan Marsh South Park's everyman. Or, uh, "everyboy."
Sample Post:
Okay, Mr. Zombie Guy. I know you guys like brains and everything, but I don't know how to get a hold of any, so I got you some KFC. Will you please let me go see the director lady now?
Why do I wanna talk to her?!? Because I don't wanna be in this fucked up summer camp, that's why! Look at this brochure, dude. The summer camp I was supposed to go to has water slides and laser tag. This place has redneck zombies and that mechanical bull that you guys put a big, metal wiener on. And what the hell's going on with those fluffy guys with the poofballs on their head? They think I'm one of their kind all because my hat has a red poofball on it, and now they want me to give them "Kupo nuts" and "exchange them for valuable items" and stuff. And come on, dude. This place is a goddamn farm. If my friends find out that my parents sent me to a farm for summer camp, everybody's gonna think I'm super lame. Think about it. You don't wanna be the reason that people think I'm super lame after I gave you all that KFC, do you?
What am I even gonna do for fun in this boring ass camp? None of my friends are here, I don't have any video games or stuff, we're in the middle of a stupid farm, and the farm animals aren't even real, so I can't even tip the cows over. I don't wanna make macaroni art or paint pictures or learn how to put a zombie back together or something, and I think most of the campers here are a little too old to enjoy stuff like that anyway. I just wanna hang out with my real friends and do normal kid stuff, like throwing rocks at cars or setting off fireworks or -- Wait, what are you handing me? ...A shotgun? Seriously? You're giving a nine year-old kid a loaded shotgun, and you're just gonna send him into a camp full of people unsupervised? Jesus Christ, dude! Why don't you just give me a six pack of beer or something while you're -- Dude! You're not supposed to give a little kid alcohol! That's, like, bad for us and stuff!
No, you know what? Screw this. Just take your stupid shotgun back and let me talk to the director already, because I'm not gonna stay in your stupid summer camp. Why the hell would you put a bunch of people in a farm filled with -- dude, stop trying to give me beer -- filled with things that try to eat them or have sex with them?!? And why the hell is everybody so much older than me?!? What kind of summer camp are you trying to -- NO I DO NOT WANT A SIX PACK OF BEER, GODDAMMIT!!!
...Alright, dude, I changed my mind. Give me back the shotgun. Dammit. I wasted twenty bucks on that KFC.
Poll Vote!
Character: Iono Mito Archeline
Series: Iono the Fanatics/Iono-sama Fanatics
Age: not given, but appears to be in the 19-21 range.
Canon: Let's be honest: a good ruler is hard to find. It's just not often that you come across a monarch who is kind, confident, charismatic, wise, caring, brave, empathetic, and possessing of a genuine love for the people of her country. But fear not, loyal subjects! Iono Mito Archeline, the queen of "a small country, but a country all the same," is one of those rare souls who meet all of the above standards-plus, she's drop-dead gorgeous. Why, if she weren't such a competent and beloved leader, it would almost be a shame that she spends most of her time using those traits to lure nubile young women to her kingdom... and her bed.
Iono the Fanatics is the story of a cheerful lesbian queen on her travels to Japan to pick up some sexy black-haired Japanese girls for her harem (1,000+ strong and growing!). On the way she wins many hearts, strikes fear in many more, and stresses out her sobame (harem girls) with her carefree antics. Iono believes in living her life to the fullest, without regrets, and in bringing her love for life to everyone else she meets-not to mention her love for the female form. But even those who don't swing that way, or who happen to be men, can't help but be charmed by the way Iono remains true to her quirky self. It's said that she accepted the throne in order to rid the world of sadness. Hitting on as many girls as she can get her hands on is a pretty close second on the royal agenda, though, and she is very candid and shameless in her methods.
Sample Post:
Ahhhh! ♥ Now that I've finally arrived, I can't believe it took me so long to set my sights on American shores! I will have to commend Miss Elizabeth on her tastes in many things, should we cross paths. Landscaping~ cozy accommodations~ girls~ ♪ I hope she won't take it personally that I plan on stealing away a few of her sobame for my own. I'm only trying to embrace the values of this strange new country: freedom and choice! Which means, of course, that if some of Elizabeth's girls happen to end up ensnared by me, they had the freedom to choose to do so~. And if she does blame me for that, we'll just have to make a daring, romantic escape, won't we? Ohoho! With countless ebony-haired maidens waiting on her hand and foot, surely she won't miss a few. I'll even restrain myself to just one-of every type. Let's see, tsundere... strong and silent... mischievous...
And clumsy! ♥ Why, hello, there, my dear. How fortunate that you just happened to trip on that large rock I carefully placed there, and into my waiting arms! It's clear the hand of fate was at work in our meeting! Now that I have you in my grasp, I'm afraid I can't just let you go. Your jet-black locks shine like-ah? They're shining with... don't tell me? It's true! Your hair is blonde under all of that muck. I see... you're not the clumsy type at all~ ♪ Rather, you're the "shut-in with poor personal hygiene" type. How tricky of you! Ah, but I never misjudge a woman's beauty, however well-hidden it may be. I believe in embracing and loving every layer of a girl's soul~ even the ones muddied with fertilizer. Let's take a dip in the hot springs together and unveil the true colors of both curtains and-
-Ah, another rejection! What a shame... even if she didn't really have black hair, I'm sure she would have cleaned up nicely. An eyepatch might have helped the look, too. I wonder if that's a common problem here? Could it be that Miss Elizabeth is running something of a clinic for sick and injured sobame? Then it's no wonder that they're all so loyal to her-and so easy to catch! That does change the atmosphere a little. I may not get any use out of this cowgirl costume and lasso I had specially prepared... it was my dream to chase a girl wearing revealing chaps through the cornfields~ and then, a roll in the hay? Ufufu! But that shall have to wait. Now that I look more closely, the girls here have a certain lifeless aura. The once-thrilling sound of their moaning is more pained and raspy than titillating! On my honor as a queen, it wouldn't be right to take advantage of a desperately ill girl. I have only one option:
Attention, my ailing lovelies~! If any one of you wishes to join my harem, I promise to give you the best health care my prosperous nation can provide before we consummate our relationship! Of course, we'll start with the natural healing powers of nude steam baths, sensual massages, salves rubbed lovingly into the skin... ♥
... And even if your answer is still no, please, someone tell the lovely one-eyed shut-in girl that she's left her foot behind? It's a rather extreme version of Cinderella's glass slipper, but I'll take it. ♪
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Elaine Belloc
Series: Lucifer
Character Age: Dies at age 12, goes on to manifest herself as a 16-17 year old girl, goes on to be limitless agewise. CONFUSING! She's camper aged.
Canon: Lucifer documents how life really does start after retirement - or at least it does for Lucifer Morningstar, once ruler of Hell, now lounge pianist. The problem is, Lucifer doesn't quite know how to quit being himself. But despite the eponymous title, this story isn't just about Lucifer - it also tells the tale of Elaine Belloc, seemingly normal schoolgirl who happens to be able to talk to ghosts. As it is revealed, she is far less normal than that; she is the daughter of the Archangel Michael. Her story really begins with her death: since she died to save Lucifer's life, Lucifer saves her in return, and gives her a place as the guardian spirit of everything (except hedgehogs) in his new cosmos.
Elaine's story doesn't end there. When the God of the original Creation disappears, the cosmos Elaine was born in begins to fall apart, and there aren't many successors. Lucifer knows that either he or Elaine must step up to become the next God of all Creation - and Lucifer's damn sure that it won't be him. So Lucifer helps Elaine to become a creator herself after the death of her father, Michael, and guides her to take a seat on the throne of God. Elaine becomes God of all three Creations: the original, Lucifer's, and her own. But she's a very different God to her predecessor. Elaine believes in mercy over punishment, refusing to create a Hell. Kind, forthright, and always willing to try to help others, she's frustrated easily, but carries a quick wit. Even post-apotheosis, Elaine keeps all of these personality traits - she's still easily frustrated, it's just that her frustrations now exist on a rather more universal level.
Sample Post:
You know, my mother told me something that seemed really strange once, about prayer. She said that you don't ever pray because you expect an answer, you pray so you can work out exactly what it is that you want. That way, you can go and achieve your goals with a clear mind. I think I understand that a lot better these days. Of course, some prayers just aren't things a person can do by themselves, and that's what's sad about it. If you're a tree that grows only underwear, you probably won't be able to grow leaves, no matter how often you ask. So many people talk to God with requests like these and go wanting, and it seems like they aren't listened to. That's why I came here, really, even though there's nothing to be done about the barrier holding all of you here. The task is too small. God can't restock the donuts at the corner shop, or make your ex-girlfriend love you again. It would be like scratching an itch with a nuclear bomb -- tricky, and not a very good idea. But I came here, just to let you all know that you haven't been forgotten, or unheard. It's just that no one wants to accidentally erase the fabric of the cosmos.
Saying that, there's a few prayers here I just wouldn't answer, if I were God. I'm not picky, I can roll with anything -- but Marcy, the monster you keep in the grain silo, is one of the most perverted creatures I've ever come across. There was a lament of how she misses grabbing people's legs, then half an essay on the most comfortable places in the human anatomy to place a - I won't go on. But since you've put a cephalopod in a grain silo, I can't really say I blame her. Anyone who's imprisoned gets restless, believe me. It's not my part to do anything about it, but maybe you should try to get her back to somewhere more spacious whenever you can -- for the sake of your ankles, if nothing else.
While we're on the topic, there's a lot of complaints from the wildlife, too. When the undead talk, it's just a hungry chorus of brains, please, and the cows are really unhappy about the zombies trying to bite them. Also, something about being tipped, and I assume that's nothing to do with waiting on tables. If you add that to all of the campers' complaints of being bored, and angry, and angry about being bored, it seems like maybe you should all do more farming. Look after the cows, maybe feed the zombies something that isn't brain, get them used to it. That'd solve everyone's problems. Well, except Marcy's, but that's probably better for everyone.
Okay, the topic in question does make me a little obvious -- but I'm new at this. Technically I am God, but please just call me Elaine. It doesn't help if you make a fuss about it - if you insist on keeping a sacred cow, you'll only get spoiled milk.
Poll Vote!
Character: Thomas Shepherd (Speed)
Series: Young Avengers
Character Age: 16
Canon: Tommy Shepherd was just a normal kid, until one day it turned out that he wasn't. In fact, it turned out that he was a speedster who can also accelerate and destabilize atomic matter (read: blow things up). He might have accidentally blown up his high school, and got sent to a mutant juvenile detainment center where he was imprisoned and intensively experimented on. Thankfully he was eventually rescued by a bunch of teenagers in spandex. Come to think of it, Tommy's life is very normal, in a Marvel sort of way.
Said spandexed kids who broke him out of mutant juvie were the Young Avengers, and eventually Tommy becomes one as well. He's not exactly the ideal superhero type, though. His attention span is rather short, he has definite (although justified, what with being locked up and experimented on) issues with authority, and is motivated less by the justice of saving people and more by the potential of looking awesome, having access to awesome gadgets, and generally being awesome. If the world saw Tommy how he wanted to be seen, he'd be a super slick too-cool-for-school jock type, always ready with a quick comeback, and infinitely attractive to the ladies. In actuality, he's a little bit of a dork, loves playing around with kids, doesn't really trust anyone to see his gooey center, and isn't comfortable when they do. Pop culture, flirting, and snarky comments are way more fun than talking about or dealing with his emo past. Most of his team are trying to emphasize the 'hero' part of 'teenaged superhero', but not Tommy. He's doing the best that he can to nominally be a superhero while simultaneously being a sarcastic wiseass.
Sample: Someone's got to feel like catching a speedster up. I'll make it worth your while. Informed chicks get dates! Just think, you, me, a candle-lit dinner, and the...corn... You know what, who cares about location when you've got me? Don't be shy, ladies. There's all sorts of advantages to dating a guy who vibrates. Think about it. So, any takers? Or am I stuck reading the signs?
Huh. Camp Fuck You Die? Of what, boredom? I'm all for extra opportunities for gratuitous swear words, but this? Seriously lame. Where the hell are we, Kansas? Come on, cornfields are the most boring thing ever. I'll keep an eye out for hockey masks, suspiciously lifelike scarecrows, people singing, and other scary crap between stalks. But that takes like two seconds. What else is there to do around here? Kick anklebiting munchkins? Follow a yellow-brick road? Video games? Porn? Porny video games? I'm flexible. Really flexible, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, still waiting on that explanation! It's been one hell of a past half hour. One minute I'm with the gang getting bitched at for not being a team player, and the next, Kansas. It's not even my fault this time. I stayed through the whole stupid meeting, even if it is hilarious to catch the look on Captain Uptight's face when I run downtown for a pizza without anybody noticing. "Don't use your powers for eeeevil, Tommy, blah blah delinquent blah great responsibility blah blah blah." Whatever. How do you corn people feel about evil? Don't think I missed those albino kids out there. Seven of 'em. And they've got scythes. Nobody cares? Awesome.
Oh, hey, there's zombies. Woo, zombies. I'm so scaaared. They aren't even the cool kind, just the slow ones. Someone's been watching too much Romero. All the movies were totally right about the cool squish-boom when you blow 'em up, but nobody ever talks about the smell. Ugh. Zombies and farms don't even go well together. Shambling through a cornfield? No way they can hang on to style points. Or all their limbs. Majorly unsanitary. In fact, this whole place is a genre disaster. Don't think I didn't notice all of you kids with funny hair and weird clothes and big swords. What is this, some kind of crazy corn-belt zombie-themed comic book convention? Not that I've ever been to one of those, but c'mon. What sort of message are we sending here? Someone think of the children. And not the rotting ones or the ones with the weird googly eyes. How do those even stay in your skull, magical Japan-logic? It's downright freaky, and I've seen some freaky shit. No, really. You think they hand out superhero spandex to just anybody? You've got to have a capacity for the weird. A really big one. And let me tell you, aliens and robots and alien robots have nothing on little pink haired girls with eyes bigger than my fist. That's some horror for you.
Poll Vote!