(no subject)
... ohmygod I only had to post one batch this round |D This is, BTW, the last batch of counselor apps.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
Now VOTE. Closed~
Character: Daniel Jackson
Series: Stargate SG-1
Age: Mid thirties
Job: Teacher of highly useless languages.
Canon: Stargate SG-1 is a television show about a secret branch of the military called the Stargate Command. It's purpose? To explore the universe by traveling to other planets via the Stargate. Sadly, this exploration is hindered by an alien race called the Goa'uld who use humans as hosts and pretend to be gods, when all they've really got going for them is some stolen technology and scary glowing eyes.
Daniel Jackson is the guy who is paid to spend his weekends translating ancient junk written in dead languages and watch the History channel. Basically, he's a professional nerd. But don't let that fool you; he's also a really charismatic and loyal guy who loves meeting new people, be they aliens or fellow humans. Part of this stems from his thirst for knowledge- Daniel can't resist a chance to learn something new and exciting, even if it puts him at great risk. Quite snarky, Daniel brings out the sarcasm whenever he deems it appropriate, which is quite often. A man of many talents, Daniel is fluent in over 23 languages, a skilled archaeologist, and an accomplished midwife.
Hello, residents of planet P3X-442! I am Daniel Jackson, a peaceful explorer from the planet Earth. I have come here to learn about you and your culture. Looking at the sheer variety of peoples here, I have my work cut out for me. There are ninjas, ancient warriors, and I can't quite figure out what the rest of you are, but I'm really looking forward to finding out.
I'm also interested in learning about the local customs. Some rituals here seem to have some basis in Greek mythology, if what I've heard about the "animal disease" is true. I'd like to talk to anyone who can answer some questions I have. For instance, is this "disease" a symbol for this settlement's closeness with nature? How do you create such convincing costumes?
Actually, first I'd like an explanation on the local hiring policies. According to this note I just found stapled to my uniform, I'm apparently here to work as a counselor. Did anyone else get a letter? The one I have looks like this:
Dear Mr. Jackson:
Welcome to Camp Fuck U Die. Due to technical difficulties, you have arrived here instead of your desired destination of Obscure Planet #1,892. During your stay, please enjoy our complementary moogles health care services, "Goes Here" icons, and the occasional free porn. All we ask in return is that you teach the campers and your fellow counselors to all speak the same damn language. We could care less what you choose, as telling them to fuck off in Latin works just as well as it does in English.
-The Camp Director's bitch, the loudspeaker.
Okay, so apparently the head of this "camp" is a tyrannical and cruel leader who enjoys placing completely random people from assorted worlds into an enclosed place and watching the results. None of you worship this person as a god, do you? Because I feel we should have a talk if you do.
As long as I'm stuck here, I guess you can all address me as Mr. Jackson, but Daniel is fine too. So . . . who wants to learn ancient Babylonian?
Poll Vote!
Character: Zaraki Kenpachi
Series: Bleach
Age: Appears to be in his early 30's.
Job: Self-Defense Instructor
Canon: Covered in scars, Kenpachi has a frightening appearance;
his insane smile and bloodthirsty taunts only add to his intimidating
stature. Strategy and politics do not interest him... all he wants to do is
fight the strongest person he can, and make the fight last as long as
possible. He wears a power-absorbing eyepatch to make the fights more fair,
and sometimes allows his opponent the first strike to test their strength.
Surprisingly, Kenpachi has befriended a young girl, Yachiru Kusajishi.
They met in Soul Society as she played in the blood of his slain enemies.
The two have developed a father-daughter-like bond, and together they hold
the two highest positions in the 11th Division of shinigami (death gods).
Kenpachi commands the admiration and loyalty of his squad, and those in the
11th Division are known as the strongest fighters. Yachiru often rides on
Kenpachi's shoulder to give him directions... unfortunately, both of them
have a tendency to get lost.
So. I'm supposed to teach all you brats how to defend yourselves, eh? Well,
ya better learn quick, or you're gonna get sliced to dog food before you
know what hit ya. Don't really care much about teaching the weaklings. All I
wanna know is...
Who's the strongest one here?
C'mon, I'll take all of you on at once. This is supposed to be some sort of
training camp, right? Doubt more'n maybe one or two of ya got any strength,
but maybe if five or six attack me together I might have a little fun. I'll
even let you have the first shot, see? Right here, right now... you can stab
me in the face, in the chest, hell, try'n kill me if you can. Dyin's better
than being a coward, so get your asses out here.
...what do you mean you can't die here? Shit, that takes the fun out of it.
Least you can bleed, right? Maybe if I knock off a few of these "moogles,"
we won't have that problem anymore.
Dammit, where is everyone? You're not all that fuckin' scared, are ya?
Come ta think of it, this looks more like a swamp than a camp. Where's the
buildings? Thought I followed the directions on this here map exactly.
Supposedly Yachiru's here too, but she's no good if I can't find her either.
I'm not lost, the camp is! Get unlost so I can fight!
Poll Vote!
Character: Rastaban
Series: SaGa Frontier (...note that this game is so little known that some of the information there is incorrect.)
Age: Unknown. Probably several hundred, looks in his mid-twenties.
Job: Gardener
Canon: SaGa Frontier is a videogame for the Playstation 1 where you can play any of seven different RPG quest-style games set in the same world. Rastaban appears in Asellus's game.
Rastaban is something called a 'mystic' -- something like a combination between a vampire and a demon, living in a 1700s-style court life. Mystics have the power to Charm, are capable of absorbing abilities from monsters they kill, and tend to be feared among humans. The realm he is from is called Facinaturu, where he serves Lord Orlouge, whom he is conspiring to remove from the throne. Not the type of guy to try to start an open rebellion, he instead favours manipulating things behind the scenes. He is a suave, smooth-moving, mysterious conspiracist who smiles too often and likes talking in symbolic terms (ie, resetting clocks, etc). He is also the very image of a court dandy, wearing a horribly bright shiny orange men's waistcoat with enough lace at his throat and wrists to choke an ox.
A gardener? What a delightful thing to be hired as, especially during the winter. After all, what better time to encourage plants to find their way to life as when they're frozen under the cold ground? Life from death, growth from stagnation, watching them bloom, pruning the dead heads -- Oh, an unpleasant part of an otherwise pleasant task, there is no doubt, but sometimes necessary. Don't you agree?
... Do excuse my enthusiasm; this is the most excitement this humble courtier has seen in centuries. (My! The flowers here are so active! I even encountered some roses that tried their best to eat me. Isn't that quaint?) The last time I've seen so much excitement was the time I accidentally took my tea without lemon.
Admittedly, although more exciting than Facinaturu, this Region does not seem to be particularly dangerous. For a monster-infested realm, let alone one settled by those less-civilized creatures, humans, it's actually quite pleasant. In fighting them, I have discovered that the monsters have strange abilities ... but other than a tendency towards the perverse, they seem little different from the ones I am used to. Well, there was one thing that was different: I absorbed something from a creature called a "moogle" which seems to render me capable of 'saving games'. An interesting ability, perhaps, but some experimentation led to disappointment. Why, if you all return without effort, what point is there in being the type of being who clings tenaciously to life?
Ah! I suppose I should introduce myself after rambling on so long: I am the Black Knight Rastaban, humble servant of the Charm Lord, Merciless King, Protector of Rose, Ruler of Darkness, Pursuer of Beauty, Supreme Judge, Ruler of Facinaturu, Lord of the Castle, Mystic Lord Orlouge. (It's with some relief that I discovered that this Region's ruler, the Director, has a much shorter title.) I am, as I'm sure you are quite aware of, your new gardener. I hope to do well at the job; my people have a great love of delicate flowers. Why, my Lord himself likes his flowers like he likes his women: Cold, unchanging, and kept under glass.
Well, at any rate, I'm charmed to meet you all. I do so look forward to watching you grow. ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Shiouji Gojyou
Series: Excel Saga (anime/manga)
Age: 26
Job: Technical Support and Maintenance Specialist (aka IT Tech Support Bitch)
Canon: Professor Shiouji Gojyou is a man of "refined" sensibilities, having "sophisticated" hobbies and "excellent" taste. You might develop that way too if your parents were geniuses, your father disappeared and you have a crazy oversexed mother. With all that, the lolicon doesn't sound too bad, especially since all he does is watch the little pretties.
Shiouji is brilliant and utterly dedicated to his research. He has created many things, most note-worthy of which is the bodies of Ropponmatsu I and II, his darling androids. His work never fails to enchant him and he likes perfection in his creations whenever possible. He is currently employed peripherally by Fukuoka's Municipal Government.
He can be longwinded and wax poetic about his true loves and is in pursuit of his father's ideal (and not because he just wants to surpass his genius). He likes intelligent conversation, and is quite honest, but he can get impatient with people who test his limits. He still maintains a level of politeness through it all. The little sprinkings of random French are normal for the professor.
Oh, Mademoiselle Director! I must say that I was rather surprised when that letter of offer appeared on my doorstep, but pleased nonetheless! As much as I enjoy working for the proud and mighty City of Fukuoka... it doesn't allow me much of a chance to relax and enjoy the simpler things in life! Now, summer camp, well... it's not summer, but I, Shiouji Gojyou, Ph.D., Sc.D, am never one to scoff at unconventionality! I dare say that this camp is farther up my alley in terms of interest! And my vision of the spry young darlings was not my sole reason for signing your contract.
Now, madame, while I appreciate that you gave me a trip to view the facilities in which I would be working, I don't appreciate the fact that I, apparently, am unable to leave. Regarding that non-disclosure agreement I had to sign, your zombie representative said that I had a better chance of dying of old age than actually getting out to speak about it. (As an aside: he had terrible halitosis. Or maybe just too much garlic.)
Although this barrier has piqued my curiosity! I probably could have come up with something similar in time, but really, I'm rather jealous. Would that be part of my duties as the Camp's, aah, Technical Support and Maintenance Specialist? Oh, these names for these jobs. Really, can't we just call me Professor and leave it at that? No one has even shown me where it's located! I assume that this will be covered later, yes?
May I also say, your tour guide of the rest of the facilities leaves much to be desired, dear Director. (Her breath isn't as bad at the last one.) What kind of monster goes, and I quote, "Shloop, shlooop. Splat. Shloop, shlooop. Splat." Even I don't have to be a medical doctor to say that doesn't sound healthy. And now I'm wondering about your health coverage!
I do have one request, if I may. Would you consider instating some kind of uniform for your zombie employees? I don't mind coming up with something myself, but I simply can't stand the mess they make! That ooze and mess everywhere is just terrible and I don't know how your employees and the campers can deal with it. I hope that I won't be held responsible for the cleaning of the equipment that it gets into. It must be everywhere. Hmm, wait, I see something here. Ah hah. It appears that clause 13(c), Subsection II, Paragraph K states that "the undersigned is responsible for all maintenance of camp machinery, including but not limited to: Toucan dung, Gorilla feces and Zombie liquids. Biohazard equipment will not be provided."
Is it too late to change my mind? I think that I might be better off in Illinois with my mother.
Poll Vote!
Character: Dark Helmet
Series: Spaceballs
Age: Unknown
Job: Schwartz Instructor
Canon: Dark Helmet is the Mel Brooks parody of Darth Vader. If you don't know who Darth Vader is, well...that's someone else's canon so I can't help you there. Helmet is a short little bundle of Evil That Totally Isn't Really Evil But Boy Does He Think He Is. When his very very large helmet visor is lowered over his face he speaks in a low 'evil' voice; this is the voice/persona he uses to command his crew and when he's trying to be credible. If things don't go his way though he lifts his visor and shows himself to be the whiny, loud-mouthed, likes to play with action figures guy that he really is. He's also adept at the downside of the 'Schwartz' (aka Dark Side of the Force) which he uses to shoot lasery light type beams at people's crotches.
Hello. I am the Director's mother's father's girlfriend's boyfriend's boyfriend's step-cousin, and as such shall be obeyed. I have been summoned to demonstrate the power and utter coolness of the Schwartz to you...things. Do not look surprised, even such obviously grotesque beings can learn something if they are beaten in the kneecaps with it. I find it harder to believe that such disease ridden filth has been left to gasp perfectly good air...YOU! Yes. You. No, not you. YOU! Do not make me come over there. No, not you purple ape beast. No, not --
Damn it! I'm talking to all you little rainbow haired sissies with no helmets! Ooooohhh look at me with my projectile weapon. Ha. Ha ha ha ha ha! Like that will do you any good. Sure it's got the length but can your little people hands handle it? Noooooo. Oh, that felt good. Nooooooooo. And one more time. Noooooooooo--
---! What are you looking at?! That was the groaning laugh of an evil genius! And make more noise before you sneak up on a person; what do you think you are, ninja?!
But now you see that evil will always triumph because children are dumb.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
Now VOTE. Closed~
Character: Daniel Jackson
Series: Stargate SG-1
Age: Mid thirties
Job: Teacher of highly useless languages.
Canon: Stargate SG-1 is a television show about a secret branch of the military called the Stargate Command. It's purpose? To explore the universe by traveling to other planets via the Stargate. Sadly, this exploration is hindered by an alien race called the Goa'uld who use humans as hosts and pretend to be gods, when all they've really got going for them is some stolen technology and scary glowing eyes.
Daniel Jackson is the guy who is paid to spend his weekends translating ancient junk written in dead languages and watch the History channel. Basically, he's a professional nerd. But don't let that fool you; he's also a really charismatic and loyal guy who loves meeting new people, be they aliens or fellow humans. Part of this stems from his thirst for knowledge- Daniel can't resist a chance to learn something new and exciting, even if it puts him at great risk. Quite snarky, Daniel brings out the sarcasm whenever he deems it appropriate, which is quite often. A man of many talents, Daniel is fluent in over 23 languages, a skilled archaeologist, and an accomplished midwife.
Hello, residents of planet P3X-442! I am Daniel Jackson, a peaceful explorer from the planet Earth. I have come here to learn about you and your culture. Looking at the sheer variety of peoples here, I have my work cut out for me. There are ninjas, ancient warriors, and I can't quite figure out what the rest of you are, but I'm really looking forward to finding out.
I'm also interested in learning about the local customs. Some rituals here seem to have some basis in Greek mythology, if what I've heard about the "animal disease" is true. I'd like to talk to anyone who can answer some questions I have. For instance, is this "disease" a symbol for this settlement's closeness with nature? How do you create such convincing costumes?
Actually, first I'd like an explanation on the local hiring policies. According to this note I just found stapled to my uniform, I'm apparently here to work as a counselor. Did anyone else get a letter? The one I have looks like this:
Dear Mr. Jackson:
Welcome to Camp Fuck U Die. Due to technical difficulties, you have arrived here instead of your desired destination of Obscure Planet #1,892. During your stay, please enjoy our complementary moogles health care services, "Goes Here" icons, and the occasional free porn. All we ask in return is that you teach the campers and your fellow counselors to all speak the same damn language. We could care less what you choose, as telling them to fuck off in Latin works just as well as it does in English.
-The Camp Director's bitch, the loudspeaker.
Okay, so apparently the head of this "camp" is a tyrannical and cruel leader who enjoys placing completely random people from assorted worlds into an enclosed place and watching the results. None of you worship this person as a god, do you? Because I feel we should have a talk if you do.
As long as I'm stuck here, I guess you can all address me as Mr. Jackson, but Daniel is fine too. So . . . who wants to learn ancient Babylonian?
Poll Vote!
Character: Zaraki Kenpachi
Series: Bleach
Age: Appears to be in his early 30's.
Job: Self-Defense Instructor
Canon: Covered in scars, Kenpachi has a frightening appearance;
his insane smile and bloodthirsty taunts only add to his intimidating
stature. Strategy and politics do not interest him... all he wants to do is
fight the strongest person he can, and make the fight last as long as
possible. He wears a power-absorbing eyepatch to make the fights more fair,
and sometimes allows his opponent the first strike to test their strength.
Surprisingly, Kenpachi has befriended a young girl, Yachiru Kusajishi.
They met in Soul Society as she played in the blood of his slain enemies.
The two have developed a father-daughter-like bond, and together they hold
the two highest positions in the 11th Division of shinigami (death gods).
Kenpachi commands the admiration and loyalty of his squad, and those in the
11th Division are known as the strongest fighters. Yachiru often rides on
Kenpachi's shoulder to give him directions... unfortunately, both of them
have a tendency to get lost.
So. I'm supposed to teach all you brats how to defend yourselves, eh? Well,
ya better learn quick, or you're gonna get sliced to dog food before you
know what hit ya. Don't really care much about teaching the weaklings. All I
wanna know is...
Who's the strongest one here?
C'mon, I'll take all of you on at once. This is supposed to be some sort of
training camp, right? Doubt more'n maybe one or two of ya got any strength,
but maybe if five or six attack me together I might have a little fun. I'll
even let you have the first shot, see? Right here, right now... you can stab
me in the face, in the chest, hell, try'n kill me if you can. Dyin's better
than being a coward, so get your asses out here.
...what do you mean you can't die here? Shit, that takes the fun out of it.
Least you can bleed, right? Maybe if I knock off a few of these "moogles,"
we won't have that problem anymore.
Dammit, where is everyone? You're not all that fuckin' scared, are ya?
Come ta think of it, this looks more like a swamp than a camp. Where's the
buildings? Thought I followed the directions on this here map exactly.
Supposedly Yachiru's here too, but she's no good if I can't find her either.
I'm not lost, the camp is! Get unlost so I can fight!
Poll Vote!
Character: Rastaban
Series: SaGa Frontier (...note that this game is so little known that some of the information there is incorrect.)
Age: Unknown. Probably several hundred, looks in his mid-twenties.
Job: Gardener
Canon: SaGa Frontier is a videogame for the Playstation 1 where you can play any of seven different RPG quest-style games set in the same world. Rastaban appears in Asellus's game.
Rastaban is something called a 'mystic' -- something like a combination between a vampire and a demon, living in a 1700s-style court life. Mystics have the power to Charm, are capable of absorbing abilities from monsters they kill, and tend to be feared among humans. The realm he is from is called Facinaturu, where he serves Lord Orlouge, whom he is conspiring to remove from the throne. Not the type of guy to try to start an open rebellion, he instead favours manipulating things behind the scenes. He is a suave, smooth-moving, mysterious conspiracist who smiles too often and likes talking in symbolic terms (ie, resetting clocks, etc). He is also the very image of a court dandy, wearing a horribly bright shiny orange men's waistcoat with enough lace at his throat and wrists to choke an ox.
A gardener? What a delightful thing to be hired as, especially during the winter. After all, what better time to encourage plants to find their way to life as when they're frozen under the cold ground? Life from death, growth from stagnation, watching them bloom, pruning the dead heads -- Oh, an unpleasant part of an otherwise pleasant task, there is no doubt, but sometimes necessary. Don't you agree?
... Do excuse my enthusiasm; this is the most excitement this humble courtier has seen in centuries. (My! The flowers here are so active! I even encountered some roses that tried their best to eat me. Isn't that quaint?) The last time I've seen so much excitement was the time I accidentally took my tea without lemon.
Admittedly, although more exciting than Facinaturu, this Region does not seem to be particularly dangerous. For a monster-infested realm, let alone one settled by those less-civilized creatures, humans, it's actually quite pleasant. In fighting them, I have discovered that the monsters have strange abilities ... but other than a tendency towards the perverse, they seem little different from the ones I am used to. Well, there was one thing that was different: I absorbed something from a creature called a "moogle" which seems to render me capable of 'saving games'. An interesting ability, perhaps, but some experimentation led to disappointment. Why, if you all return without effort, what point is there in being the type of being who clings tenaciously to life?
Ah! I suppose I should introduce myself after rambling on so long: I am the Black Knight Rastaban, humble servant of the Charm Lord, Merciless King, Protector of Rose, Ruler of Darkness, Pursuer of Beauty, Supreme Judge, Ruler of Facinaturu, Lord of the Castle, Mystic Lord Orlouge. (It's with some relief that I discovered that this Region's ruler, the Director, has a much shorter title.) I am, as I'm sure you are quite aware of, your new gardener. I hope to do well at the job; my people have a great love of delicate flowers. Why, my Lord himself likes his flowers like he likes his women: Cold, unchanging, and kept under glass.
Well, at any rate, I'm charmed to meet you all. I do so look forward to watching you grow. ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Shiouji Gojyou
Series: Excel Saga (anime/manga)
Age: 26
Job: Technical Support and Maintenance Specialist (aka IT Tech Support Bitch)
Canon: Professor Shiouji Gojyou is a man of "refined" sensibilities, having "sophisticated" hobbies and "excellent" taste. You might develop that way too if your parents were geniuses, your father disappeared and you have a crazy oversexed mother. With all that, the lolicon doesn't sound too bad, especially since all he does is watch the little pretties.
Shiouji is brilliant and utterly dedicated to his research. He has created many things, most note-worthy of which is the bodies of Ropponmatsu I and II, his darling androids. His work never fails to enchant him and he likes perfection in his creations whenever possible. He is currently employed peripherally by Fukuoka's Municipal Government.
He can be longwinded and wax poetic about his true loves and is in pursuit of his father's ideal (and not because he just wants to surpass his genius). He likes intelligent conversation, and is quite honest, but he can get impatient with people who test his limits. He still maintains a level of politeness through it all. The little sprinkings of random French are normal for the professor.
Oh, Mademoiselle Director! I must say that I was rather surprised when that letter of offer appeared on my doorstep, but pleased nonetheless! As much as I enjoy working for the proud and mighty City of Fukuoka... it doesn't allow me much of a chance to relax and enjoy the simpler things in life! Now, summer camp, well... it's not summer, but I, Shiouji Gojyou, Ph.D., Sc.D, am never one to scoff at unconventionality! I dare say that this camp is farther up my alley in terms of interest! And my vision of the spry young darlings was not my sole reason for signing your contract.
Now, madame, while I appreciate that you gave me a trip to view the facilities in which I would be working, I don't appreciate the fact that I, apparently, am unable to leave. Regarding that non-disclosure agreement I had to sign, your zombie representative said that I had a better chance of dying of old age than actually getting out to speak about it. (As an aside: he had terrible halitosis. Or maybe just too much garlic.)
Although this barrier has piqued my curiosity! I probably could have come up with something similar in time, but really, I'm rather jealous. Would that be part of my duties as the Camp's, aah, Technical Support and Maintenance Specialist? Oh, these names for these jobs. Really, can't we just call me Professor and leave it at that? No one has even shown me where it's located! I assume that this will be covered later, yes?
May I also say, your tour guide of the rest of the facilities leaves much to be desired, dear Director. (Her breath isn't as bad at the last one.) What kind of monster goes, and I quote, "Shloop, shlooop. Splat. Shloop, shlooop. Splat." Even I don't have to be a medical doctor to say that doesn't sound healthy. And now I'm wondering about your health coverage!
I do have one request, if I may. Would you consider instating some kind of uniform for your zombie employees? I don't mind coming up with something myself, but I simply can't stand the mess they make! That ooze and mess everywhere is just terrible and I don't know how your employees and the campers can deal with it. I hope that I won't be held responsible for the cleaning of the equipment that it gets into. It must be everywhere. Hmm, wait, I see something here. Ah hah. It appears that clause 13(c), Subsection II, Paragraph K states that "the undersigned is responsible for all maintenance of camp machinery, including but not limited to: Toucan dung, Gorilla feces and Zombie liquids. Biohazard equipment will not be provided."
Is it too late to change my mind? I think that I might be better off in Illinois with my mother.
Poll Vote!
Character: Dark Helmet
Series: Spaceballs
Age: Unknown
Job: Schwartz Instructor
Canon: Dark Helmet is the Mel Brooks parody of Darth Vader. If you don't know who Darth Vader is, well...that's someone else's canon so I can't help you there. Helmet is a short little bundle of Evil That Totally Isn't Really Evil But Boy Does He Think He Is. When his very very large helmet visor is lowered over his face he speaks in a low 'evil' voice; this is the voice/persona he uses to command his crew and when he's trying to be credible. If things don't go his way though he lifts his visor and shows himself to be the whiny, loud-mouthed, likes to play with action figures guy that he really is. He's also adept at the downside of the 'Schwartz' (aka Dark Side of the Force) which he uses to shoot lasery light type beams at people's crotches.
Hello. I am the Director's mother's father's girlfriend's boyfriend's boyfriend's step-cousin, and as such shall be obeyed. I have been summoned to demonstrate the power and utter coolness of the Schwartz to you...things. Do not look surprised, even such obviously grotesque beings can learn something if they are beaten in the kneecaps with it. I find it harder to believe that such disease ridden filth has been left to gasp perfectly good air...YOU! Yes. You. No, not you. YOU! Do not make me come over there. No, not you purple ape beast. No, not --
Damn it! I'm talking to all you little rainbow haired sissies with no helmets! Ooooohhh look at me with my projectile weapon. Ha. Ha ha ha ha ha! Like that will do you any good. Sure it's got the length but can your little people hands handle it? Noooooo. Oh, that felt good. Nooooooooo. And one more time. Noooooooooo--
---! What are you looking at?! That was the groaning laugh of an evil genius! And make more noise before you sneak up on a person; what do you think you are, ninja?!
But now you see that evil will always triumph because children are dumb.
Poll Vote!