(no subject)
NEXT UP, tinyround with tinybatches continues!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED, we're good here.
Characters: Smellerbee and Longshot
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Character Age: Smellerbee is early teens, Longshot is just slightly older.
Canon: Avatar: The Last Airbender is about a magical boy and his friends trying to restore balance between the Fire Nation and the rest of the world. However, the Avatar's isn't the only one fighting on the side of justice, nor is he only charismatic leader in the world. Jet's Earth Kingdom Freedom Fighters are a group of orphans who hate the Fire Nation for destroying their villages, families, and entire lives during their world-conquering rampage. The Freedom Fighters are full of righteous anger, and do everything from raiding Fire Nation camps to terrorizing their civilians. They do not discriminate between innocents and soldiers; if you look Fire Nation, prepare to die.
Two of these Freedom Fighters are Smellerbee and Longshot. Smellerbee is a young, androgynous girl in her early teens, still figuring out who she is and who she wants to be. At the moment, "who she is" is a total badass who acts as one half of the conscience of the group, caring for her family of friends with her swords. She is surly, stubborn, cocksure, and quick to anger, preferring to stab first and ask questions later. Unfortunately, she’s had to be less violent recently, since the Freedom Fighters disbanded and she’s had to make an honest living. Longshot, the other half of the Freedom Fighter’s moral center, keeps her impulsive attitude in check. He is the group’s counselor and advisor, even though he only communicates through expressions. Smellerbee and Longshot are close friends, so close that they often act as a single entity, with Longshot acting as the mind behind Smellerbee's voiced opinions. They both take care of their friends in equal measure. As a team, they are nearly unstoppable, and they definitely know it.
Important notes: Longshot will be a pet journal, as all of his advice and ideas are conveyed through Smellerbee. She's his tiny sullen translator. Also, hybrid plants and animals are a canon staple.
Sample Post:
Listen up, freaks! I'm Smellerbee, and this is Longshot--we're Earth Kingdom Freedom Fighters. We’re just passing through, and we’ve got money, so if you’ve got something we want we’ll pay for it, all right? Both of us are straight as an arrow. You can take that as a threat if you don't hurry up and shuffle aside, you slackjawed... whatever-you-are. Back off before my swords get twitchy. C'mon, Longshot.
If we're always gonna be surrounded by idiots like these guys, “going straight” isgoing to be a lot harder than I thought. I guess I am being a little negative, letting the cornwheat stuff get me down. But look around you! There isn't a tree for miles! I know you think we can move on from the Freedom Fighters, Longshot, but I don't know if I can when all I wanna do is pound these guys. I know you feel the same way, I can see it in how you look at 'em. I wanna be optimistic as much as you do, but I just don't see anything working out for us in this place. There's nothing here but creepy barns and Fire Nation lepers trying to--hey, watch it, bud! Oh, what, you’re hungry? How about some steel through your gut, that should fill you up nice and--ha! Are you trying to bite me? What are you, five? Get lost. You have no idea who you’re dealing with.
...What’s that look for, Longshot? I was totally being civil! Now isn't the time to be a wimp, anyway--if you want something to do, help me cut through this; I wanna get through as fast as possible. Big open fields like this always freak me out... did you ever hear that story, Children of the Cornwheat? Don't think I'm scared, because I'm not, but it's still freaky, right?
Oh look, Slackjaw's back. Stop trying to intimidate me, it's not going to work! You sure talk big about your "little trap," but neither of us are stupid enough to fall for any of your cheap tricks. I wrote the book on traps.
Poll Vote!
Character: Female protagonist. (Note: The female protagonist has no canon name; for the purposes of this app, she is called Hero Protagonist Hiroko Shujinkou.)
Series: Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 Portable
Age: 16-17
Canon: Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Between midnight and 12:01am, there exists an extra hidden hour. During this period, known as the Dark Hour, beings called Shadows reign supreme, targeting any luckless human who happens to be available. Opposing them is SEES, a small group of high school students who spend the Dark Hour killing Shadows and saving people’s lives. To do this, they use Personas, aspects of one’s psyche which potentially grant the user a great deal of power... and are typically summoned by shooting oneself in the head with a (fake) gun.
In the story many are familiar with, SEES is led into combat by a boy. However, in this version, SEES is led by a teenage girl, who like her male counterpart possesses the Wild Card, the ability to summon multiple Personas of various arcana of the tarot. To power up her ability, she must create social links - bonds with other people that allow her to strengthen her Personas as she becomes closer to those around her. Fortunately, despite being a silent protagonist, she’s good at making friends. She’s bright and cheerful, ever optimistic in the face of potentially world-ending disasters like the Dark Hour, and always willing to lend a helping hand to someone who needs it - whether it’s finding a lost pen or helping a child come to terms with her parents’ divorce. She’s able to stay calm in stressful situations, preferring not to dwell on things when she can do something about them. And she doesn’t give up easily - which is good, because she may be all that stands between the human race and annihilation.
Sample Entry:
Excuse me - do you think you could give me a little help here? I think I might be lost. I’m looking for Camp Fuck You Die - oh, is this it? Great! At least I’m in the right place. I guess that makes you guys the welcoming committee, huh. Wow, you really went all out with the cosplay! The zombie theme is really, uh, novel. I kinda feel like I’ve stepped into a B-movie or something. It’s sorta cool, actually, and your makeup is really well done ! ...Annnnd it's... not... makeup. Um. You, uh, might want to pick your jaw up off the ground, there - someone might step on it. Do you have something to wipe the dirt off of it? I think I have a spare handkerchief you can use... ah, here it is. Although the risk of infection isn’t really something you need to worry about anymore, is it? This is like a zombie film come to life or something.
Is there anything else I can do for you? No, really, I don't mind... I like helping people! I do stuff like this for people at home all the time, although usually it’s things like finding someone’s lost puppy or wallet instead of, you know, body parts. Or if something’s bothering you, you can always talk to me, and I’ll see what I can do to help, or at least give you a... figurative shoulder to cry on. I’m going to have to draw the line at letting you chow down on my brain, though. I need that, after all. Hey, are you going to be able to reattach your jaw? Here, I've got a scarf you can use to keep it in place too. Let me tie that for you... Ah, there we go; that should hold until we can find a more permanent solution.
...And there goes your arm instead. Does that hurt at all? I can't imagine it's all that fun to lose body parts at random like that - hey, did you hear something?
Thou art I... And I am thou...
Thou hast established a new bond...
Thou shalt be blessed when creating Personas of the Undead Arcana...
A social link? In this place? And since when is Undead an arcana? Well, okay - we can go with that. Anyway, here - let me give you a hand with your... hand.
Poll Vote!
Character: Platina Berlitz
Series: Pokemon Special
Character Age: 12
Canon: Pokemon is a massive franchise based off of what is essentially cockfighting with superpowered monsters that have the ability to shock, charbroil, freeze, or otherwise kill a normal human being to death. But don't worry, they're friendly! For the most part!
The Diamond and Pearl chapter of Pokemon Special follows the journey of two punny comedians and a sheltered rich girl in a wacky case of mistaken identity. "Miss" Berlitz seems to be a snobby rich brat at first, but she's actually very curious about the world and is always up for learning new things. She comes from a long family of researchers, works as Professor Rowan's personal assistant, and has a habit of reading ten books a day. She's kind of a precocious know-it-all when she's not spazzing over studying things like coal digging and footprint collecting. Most of all, she believes deeply in learning through hands-on personal experience, and when she puts her mind to learning something like Pokemon battling, she learns FAST.
note: Empoleon is her pet penguin starter Pokemon
Sample Post:
I don't think you understand the concept of type compatibility. Not everything can be 'killed with fire'. What would happen if we had come up against a water-type? Your battle tactics are too simplistic: you should always try to exploit the opponent's weakness, whenever possible. And since these Toucans are flying-types, the best tactic is to try to freeze their wings...
Like so. See? A single ice beam attack from Empoleon takes care of them. That's how you battle efficiently. Don't worry--I didn't know how to battle for a long time, either. But I had two powerful bodyguards to help me train. It's easy to learn theory from books, but the best way to improve is through personal experience!
... Of course, it would help if you had a Pokemon of your own. I'm sure that there will be plenty of opportunities to catch one for yourself. If you'd like, you're welcome to try and throw a pokeball at the Toucan I just weakened, or a great ball, or whatever other balls you have handy. Unless... there's another Pokemon here you want to capture? In that case, you should introduce me to the other species that live in this camp! Actually, I've never seen Pokemon like these before, and I've been researching them for years under the Professor. That's right, this is a valuable learning experience! I could be studying rare, or even entirely undiscovered species!
I've made my decision. Please tell me more about the native Pokemon! I've already encountered the mutant purple Mankeys and mecha-Tauros and, just now, these Toucans. As a local of this region, you would know more about the wildlife here than I do. And yes, I'm already aware of Marcy. But I've been told that it would be difficult for me to meet her. I'm not sure why--she seems to be friendly with many of the campers here, so why won't she approach me?
Because I am a loli? I still don't understand. What exactly is a loli? And, more importantly, if Marcy won't come to me, what Pokemon will?
I see... I'm glad some Pokemon aren't as discriminatory. Tell me more about this Pedobear.
Poll Vote!
Character: Pearl
Series: Pokemon Special
Character Age: 12
Canon: Pokemon, short for Pocket Monsters, is a franchise that involves people catching, training, and pitting mythical creatures against each other in battle for glory and some really sweet kicks. Pokemon Special, known in some places as Pokemon Adventures, follows the Pokemon journeys of several different groups of kids, each getting their own story arc. The Diamond/Pearl/Platinum edition of this manga covers the journeys of Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum as they traverse their country of Sinnoh in an attempt to reach the intimidating Mt. Coronet. Dia and Pearl are on this journey due to having won it as a consolation prize for participating in their town’s local comedy contest. Platina accompanies them as their “tour guide.”
Despite being an aspiring comedian alongside his pal Dia, outside of skit practice Pearl is a serious person. He is very impatient and bossy, belting out orders and getting easily irritated when things don’t go his way. He is used to being the busiest and most active member of whatever group he’s in, and can become aggravated or even confused when someone disagrees with what he thinks is the best course of action. In contrast to all of this, if he discovers that he really is wrong he will accept it, apologize accordingly, and do his best to make up for it. He has a strong desire to succeed at everything he does, and once he puts his mind to something he won’t stop until it’s finished. He has a soft spot for those who exhibit the same amount of determination as himself, feeling drawn to them and wanting to help them succeed in their endeavors. He can be very encouraging and supportive in other people’s goals, and despite his spontaneous bursts of violent rage he’s still a genuinely happy kid that cares for his friends.
Note: When addressing someone in all seriousness, Pearl has a habit of placing both his hands on the other’s shoulders and addressing him or her by their full name.
Sample Post:
Okay, let me see if I can summarize what you just told me. I've been "magically transported" to a zombie-infested cornfield in some alternate dimension, and there's no way for me to go home. The best thing for me to do is to accept my lot in life, be a good little camper, and avoid all the scary monsters you mentioned.
…Well, that sure does explain why I feel so lost, haha! I instantly believe everything you just told me!
--NOT!! Who in their right mind would fall for something so absolutely ridiculous?! I mean, is this all some kind of joke to you? I sure hope not, bird, because it was terrible! Your timing was way off, and don't even get me started on the subject matter! Who even believes in the existence of zombies these days? You definitely need to work on your punchlines, too. Nobody would ever think human-eating rabbits are funny! If you think you've got the One-Man-Gag mastered, then you've got a lot to learn.
…What’s with the sad face? Hey, come on, don't look so down. There’s no need to be so sensitive, it was just some constructive criticism from one comedian to another. I mean, there were some good parts in your act too, you know? Your delivery was remarkable- you even managed to keep a straight face when telling me about the giant tentacle monster that lives on top of a silo! Are you starting to tear up? Geez, you really are inconsolable… hmm.
Say, toucan. No, I mean... Toucan.
If you want to make it in the world of comedy, you're going to need a lot more willpower than that! You’ve got to be willing to try with all your heart, even against impossible odds. If you've really got the drive to succeed, then I'll help you out. Since I’m a struggling comedian myself, I feel a certain kinship with you. What do you think? You’ll agree to try again? Great, let’s get started! I don't normally play the stooge, but you strike me as more of a straight man type so I can switch for your sake. Start your act from the top, and don't make so many obscure references this time! Not everybody knows what a gorilla or whatever is, and if you want to reach a broad audience, you have to use humor that everyone can laugh at. Puns and alliteration are your friends! Don't be afraid to use a little slapstick! Don’t worry about hurting me; as your temporary comedy duo partner, I’m prepared to take anything you hit me with as long as it’s a hit straight from the heart!
Now, do as I do: speaking of Seefud-- Ow! Agh, you're supposed to peck me after I say the punchline, then-! Hey, come back here! Don't fly off and do your own thing already, I told you you're not ready for solo stand-up comedy yet! If you don’t get back here this instant, I’m fining you one million bills - I mean dollars!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED, we're good here.
Characters: Smellerbee and Longshot
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Character Age: Smellerbee is early teens, Longshot is just slightly older.
Canon: Avatar: The Last Airbender is about a magical boy and his friends trying to restore balance between the Fire Nation and the rest of the world. However, the Avatar's isn't the only one fighting on the side of justice, nor is he only charismatic leader in the world. Jet's Earth Kingdom Freedom Fighters are a group of orphans who hate the Fire Nation for destroying their villages, families, and entire lives during their world-conquering rampage. The Freedom Fighters are full of righteous anger, and do everything from raiding Fire Nation camps to terrorizing their civilians. They do not discriminate between innocents and soldiers; if you look Fire Nation, prepare to die.
Two of these Freedom Fighters are Smellerbee and Longshot. Smellerbee is a young, androgynous girl in her early teens, still figuring out who she is and who she wants to be. At the moment, "who she is" is a total badass who acts as one half of the conscience of the group, caring for her family of friends with her swords. She is surly, stubborn, cocksure, and quick to anger, preferring to stab first and ask questions later. Unfortunately, she’s had to be less violent recently, since the Freedom Fighters disbanded and she’s had to make an honest living. Longshot, the other half of the Freedom Fighter’s moral center, keeps her impulsive attitude in check. He is the group’s counselor and advisor, even though he only communicates through expressions. Smellerbee and Longshot are close friends, so close that they often act as a single entity, with Longshot acting as the mind behind Smellerbee's voiced opinions. They both take care of their friends in equal measure. As a team, they are nearly unstoppable, and they definitely know it.
Important notes: Longshot will be a pet journal, as all of his advice and ideas are conveyed through Smellerbee. She's his tiny sullen translator. Also, hybrid plants and animals are a canon staple.
Sample Post:
Listen up, freaks! I'm Smellerbee, and this is Longshot--we're Earth Kingdom Freedom Fighters. We’re just passing through, and we’ve got money, so if you’ve got something we want we’ll pay for it, all right? Both of us are straight as an arrow. You can take that as a threat if you don't hurry up and shuffle aside, you slackjawed... whatever-you-are. Back off before my swords get twitchy. C'mon, Longshot.
If we're always gonna be surrounded by idiots like these guys, “going straight” isgoing to be a lot harder than I thought. I guess I am being a little negative, letting the cornwheat stuff get me down. But look around you! There isn't a tree for miles! I know you think we can move on from the Freedom Fighters, Longshot, but I don't know if I can when all I wanna do is pound these guys. I know you feel the same way, I can see it in how you look at 'em. I wanna be optimistic as much as you do, but I just don't see anything working out for us in this place. There's nothing here but creepy barns and Fire Nation lepers trying to--hey, watch it, bud! Oh, what, you’re hungry? How about some steel through your gut, that should fill you up nice and--ha! Are you trying to bite me? What are you, five? Get lost. You have no idea who you’re dealing with.
...What’s that look for, Longshot? I was totally being civil! Now isn't the time to be a wimp, anyway--if you want something to do, help me cut through this; I wanna get through as fast as possible. Big open fields like this always freak me out... did you ever hear that story, Children of the Cornwheat? Don't think I'm scared, because I'm not, but it's still freaky, right?
Oh look, Slackjaw's back. Stop trying to intimidate me, it's not going to work! You sure talk big about your "little trap," but neither of us are stupid enough to fall for any of your cheap tricks. I wrote the book on traps.
Poll Vote!
Character: Female protagonist. (Note: The female protagonist has no canon name; for the purposes of this app, she is called Hero Protagonist Hiroko Shujinkou.)
Series: Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 Portable
Age: 16-17
Canon: Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Between midnight and 12:01am, there exists an extra hidden hour. During this period, known as the Dark Hour, beings called Shadows reign supreme, targeting any luckless human who happens to be available. Opposing them is SEES, a small group of high school students who spend the Dark Hour killing Shadows and saving people’s lives. To do this, they use Personas, aspects of one’s psyche which potentially grant the user a great deal of power... and are typically summoned by shooting oneself in the head with a (fake) gun.
In the story many are familiar with, SEES is led into combat by a boy. However, in this version, SEES is led by a teenage girl, who like her male counterpart possesses the Wild Card, the ability to summon multiple Personas of various arcana of the tarot. To power up her ability, she must create social links - bonds with other people that allow her to strengthen her Personas as she becomes closer to those around her. Fortunately, despite being a silent protagonist, she’s good at making friends. She’s bright and cheerful, ever optimistic in the face of potentially world-ending disasters like the Dark Hour, and always willing to lend a helping hand to someone who needs it - whether it’s finding a lost pen or helping a child come to terms with her parents’ divorce. She’s able to stay calm in stressful situations, preferring not to dwell on things when she can do something about them. And she doesn’t give up easily - which is good, because she may be all that stands between the human race and annihilation.
Sample Entry:
Excuse me - do you think you could give me a little help here? I think I might be lost. I’m looking for Camp Fuck You Die - oh, is this it? Great! At least I’m in the right place. I guess that makes you guys the welcoming committee, huh. Wow, you really went all out with the cosplay! The zombie theme is really, uh, novel. I kinda feel like I’ve stepped into a B-movie or something. It’s sorta cool, actually, and your makeup is really well done ! ...Annnnd it's... not... makeup. Um. You, uh, might want to pick your jaw up off the ground, there - someone might step on it. Do you have something to wipe the dirt off of it? I think I have a spare handkerchief you can use... ah, here it is. Although the risk of infection isn’t really something you need to worry about anymore, is it? This is like a zombie film come to life or something.
Is there anything else I can do for you? No, really, I don't mind... I like helping people! I do stuff like this for people at home all the time, although usually it’s things like finding someone’s lost puppy or wallet instead of, you know, body parts. Or if something’s bothering you, you can always talk to me, and I’ll see what I can do to help, or at least give you a... figurative shoulder to cry on. I’m going to have to draw the line at letting you chow down on my brain, though. I need that, after all. Hey, are you going to be able to reattach your jaw? Here, I've got a scarf you can use to keep it in place too. Let me tie that for you... Ah, there we go; that should hold until we can find a more permanent solution.
...And there goes your arm instead. Does that hurt at all? I can't imagine it's all that fun to lose body parts at random like that - hey, did you hear something?
Thou art I... And I am thou...
Thou hast established a new bond...
Thou shalt be blessed when creating Personas of the Undead Arcana...
A social link? In this place? And since when is Undead an arcana? Well, okay - we can go with that. Anyway, here - let me give you a hand with your... hand.
Poll Vote!
Character: Platina Berlitz
Series: Pokemon Special
Character Age: 12
Canon: Pokemon is a massive franchise based off of what is essentially cockfighting with superpowered monsters that have the ability to shock, charbroil, freeze, or otherwise kill a normal human being to death. But don't worry, they're friendly! For the most part!
The Diamond and Pearl chapter of Pokemon Special follows the journey of two punny comedians and a sheltered rich girl in a wacky case of mistaken identity. "Miss" Berlitz seems to be a snobby rich brat at first, but she's actually very curious about the world and is always up for learning new things. She comes from a long family of researchers, works as Professor Rowan's personal assistant, and has a habit of reading ten books a day. She's kind of a precocious know-it-all when she's not spazzing over studying things like coal digging and footprint collecting. Most of all, she believes deeply in learning through hands-on personal experience, and when she puts her mind to learning something like Pokemon battling, she learns FAST.
note: Empoleon is her pet penguin starter Pokemon
Sample Post:
I don't think you understand the concept of type compatibility. Not everything can be 'killed with fire'. What would happen if we had come up against a water-type? Your battle tactics are too simplistic: you should always try to exploit the opponent's weakness, whenever possible. And since these Toucans are flying-types, the best tactic is to try to freeze their wings...
Like so. See? A single ice beam attack from Empoleon takes care of them. That's how you battle efficiently. Don't worry--I didn't know how to battle for a long time, either. But I had two powerful bodyguards to help me train. It's easy to learn theory from books, but the best way to improve is through personal experience!
... Of course, it would help if you had a Pokemon of your own. I'm sure that there will be plenty of opportunities to catch one for yourself. If you'd like, you're welcome to try and throw a pokeball at the Toucan I just weakened, or a great ball, or whatever other balls you have handy. Unless... there's another Pokemon here you want to capture? In that case, you should introduce me to the other species that live in this camp! Actually, I've never seen Pokemon like these before, and I've been researching them for years under the Professor. That's right, this is a valuable learning experience! I could be studying rare, or even entirely undiscovered species!
I've made my decision. Please tell me more about the native Pokemon! I've already encountered the mutant purple Mankeys and mecha-Tauros and, just now, these Toucans. As a local of this region, you would know more about the wildlife here than I do. And yes, I'm already aware of Marcy. But I've been told that it would be difficult for me to meet her. I'm not sure why--she seems to be friendly with many of the campers here, so why won't she approach me?
Because I am a loli? I still don't understand. What exactly is a loli? And, more importantly, if Marcy won't come to me, what Pokemon will?
I see... I'm glad some Pokemon aren't as discriminatory. Tell me more about this Pedobear.
Poll Vote!
Character: Pearl
Series: Pokemon Special
Character Age: 12
Canon: Pokemon, short for Pocket Monsters, is a franchise that involves people catching, training, and pitting mythical creatures against each other in battle for glory and some really sweet kicks. Pokemon Special, known in some places as Pokemon Adventures, follows the Pokemon journeys of several different groups of kids, each getting their own story arc. The Diamond/Pearl/Platinum edition of this manga covers the journeys of Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum as they traverse their country of Sinnoh in an attempt to reach the intimidating Mt. Coronet. Dia and Pearl are on this journey due to having won it as a consolation prize for participating in their town’s local comedy contest. Platina accompanies them as their “tour guide.”
Despite being an aspiring comedian alongside his pal Dia, outside of skit practice Pearl is a serious person. He is very impatient and bossy, belting out orders and getting easily irritated when things don’t go his way. He is used to being the busiest and most active member of whatever group he’s in, and can become aggravated or even confused when someone disagrees with what he thinks is the best course of action. In contrast to all of this, if he discovers that he really is wrong he will accept it, apologize accordingly, and do his best to make up for it. He has a strong desire to succeed at everything he does, and once he puts his mind to something he won’t stop until it’s finished. He has a soft spot for those who exhibit the same amount of determination as himself, feeling drawn to them and wanting to help them succeed in their endeavors. He can be very encouraging and supportive in other people’s goals, and despite his spontaneous bursts of violent rage he’s still a genuinely happy kid that cares for his friends.
Note: When addressing someone in all seriousness, Pearl has a habit of placing both his hands on the other’s shoulders and addressing him or her by their full name.
Sample Post:
Okay, let me see if I can summarize what you just told me. I've been "magically transported" to a zombie-infested cornfield in some alternate dimension, and there's no way for me to go home. The best thing for me to do is to accept my lot in life, be a good little camper, and avoid all the scary monsters you mentioned.
…Well, that sure does explain why I feel so lost, haha! I instantly believe everything you just told me!
--NOT!! Who in their right mind would fall for something so absolutely ridiculous?! I mean, is this all some kind of joke to you? I sure hope not, bird, because it was terrible! Your timing was way off, and don't even get me started on the subject matter! Who even believes in the existence of zombies these days? You definitely need to work on your punchlines, too. Nobody would ever think human-eating rabbits are funny! If you think you've got the One-Man-Gag mastered, then you've got a lot to learn.
…What’s with the sad face? Hey, come on, don't look so down. There’s no need to be so sensitive, it was just some constructive criticism from one comedian to another. I mean, there were some good parts in your act too, you know? Your delivery was remarkable- you even managed to keep a straight face when telling me about the giant tentacle monster that lives on top of a silo! Are you starting to tear up? Geez, you really are inconsolable… hmm.
Say, toucan. No, I mean... Toucan.
If you want to make it in the world of comedy, you're going to need a lot more willpower than that! You’ve got to be willing to try with all your heart, even against impossible odds. If you've really got the drive to succeed, then I'll help you out. Since I’m a struggling comedian myself, I feel a certain kinship with you. What do you think? You’ll agree to try again? Great, let’s get started! I don't normally play the stooge, but you strike me as more of a straight man type so I can switch for your sake. Start your act from the top, and don't make so many obscure references this time! Not everybody knows what a gorilla or whatever is, and if you want to reach a broad audience, you have to use humor that everyone can laugh at. Puns and alliteration are your friends! Don't be afraid to use a little slapstick! Don’t worry about hurting me; as your temporary comedy duo partner, I’m prepared to take anything you hit me with as long as it’s a hit straight from the heart!
Now, do as I do: speaking of Seefud-- Ow! Agh, you're supposed to peck me after I say the punchline, then-! Hey, come back here! Don't fly off and do your own thing already, I told you you're not ready for solo stand-up comedy yet! If you don’t get back here this instant, I’m fining you one million bills - I mean dollars!
Poll Vote!