(no subject)
MY FIRST BATCH EVERRRR. Which means if nothing goes wrong in this app round then you all owe me a delicious cookie.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. THAT'LL DO
Character: Terezi Pyrope
Series: Homestuck
Character Age: 6 Solar Sweeps/13 Earth Years
Canon: Once upon a time, in the distant past and/or future, there are trolls on the internet. No, I mean actual trolls. Alien trolls with horns and time-bending chat programs and weird mating habits and serious attitude problems. And among these trolls is Terezi. Blinded by an unfortunate incident, she now uses scent and taste to "see" the world around her. No one's quite sure how this works, but that doesn't stop her from functionally using her computer. Nor does it stop her from regularly describing in a little too much detail just how delicious things smell and taste, and how much she loves the oh so delicious color/flavor red.
She's also an avid roleplayer, and enjoys regular live action roleplay sessions, particularly of courtroom dramas with her plushie Scalemates, who are always found guilty due to her immense love of justice and hanging corrupt plushie politicians from the end of a noose. She also enjoys chatlog roleplay with a friend, in which she pretends to be a member of a "mysterious and noble dragonyy'yd race". Yeah, you read that right. She's got a Mary Sue fursona, and it's a badass dragon who eats people.
Most of Homestuck's dialogue takes place via instant messenger, on which Terezi's handle is gallowsCalibrator, and she SP34KS W1TH TH3 NUM3R4LS TH3 BL1ND PROPH3TS ONC3 US3D.
Sample App:
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling campfuckuDie [CD]--
GC: H3LLO 34RTH HUM4NS OF C4MPFUCKUD13!
GC: 1 H34RD YOU L1K3 ROL3PL4Y1NG G4M3S.
GC: YOUR "4PPL1C4T1ON SYST3M" 1S 4 L1TTL3 STR4NG3 4ND
GC: TO B3 HON3ST
GC: M4K3S YOU LOOK L1K3 4 BUNCH OF 3L1T1STS.
GC: BUT TH4TS H4LF TH3 R34SON 1'M LOOK1NG FORW4RD TO PL4Y1NG W1TH YOU!
GC: SO 1V3 R34D OV3R YOUR RUL3S FOR 4PPLY1NG
GC: 4ND 4LL 1 H4V3 TO DO 1S 1MPR3SS S3V3NTY P3RC3NT OF TH3S3 COOL K1D 34RTH ZOMB13S WHO 4R3 G3TT1NG TH31R D3L1C1OUS SM3LL1NG C4NDY-R3D BLOOD 4LL OV3R TH3 PL4C3?
GC: NO PROBL3M.
GC: 3V3N 1F TH3Y DO TRY TO D1STR4CT M3 W1TH TH3 T4STY CH3RRY FLV4OR OF TH31R 1NS1D3-JU1C3S.
GC: H3R3 GO3S:
GC: *GC RO4RS F3ROC1OUSLY 4S SH3 SWOOPS DOWN ON TH3 UNSUSP3CT1NG 3NC4MPM3NT*
GC: *SH3 SO4RS GR4C3FULLY OV3RH34D, SURV3Y1NG H3R SURROUND1NGS*
GC: *JUST TH3N, GC SPOTS 4 D3L1C1OUS MOOB34ST 4ND D1V3S DOWN UPON 1T, SN4PP1NG 1T UP 1N H3R M4SS1V3 4ND POW3RFUL J4WS*
GC: ...BL3URGH!
GC: OOPS, I M34N
GC: *BL3URGH! GC SHOUTS UPON D1SCOV3R1NG TH4T TH3 B1Z4RR3 CR34TUR3 SH3 SN4PP3D UP CONT41N3D ONLY D1SGUST1NG O1LY SLUDG3*
GC: *NOT TH3 D3L1C1OUS F1LL1NG SH3 H4D B33N 3XP3CT1NG!*
GC: *1RR1T4T3D BY TH1S, SH3 V1C1OUSLY FL1NGS 1TS M3T4LL1C CORPS3 4S1D3 4ND FL13S ON*
GC: *GC TH3N COM3S UPON 4 GROUP OF YOUNG 34RTH HUM4NS ST4ND1NG 1N TH3 3X4CT C3NT3R OF TH3 3NC4MP3NT*
GC: *GC L4NDS 4MONGST TH3M TO L1ST3N 1N 4ND H34RS TH3M T3LL OF TH31R 3V1L HUM4N D1CT4TOR, KNOWN ONLY 4S...*
GC: *TH3 D1R3CTOR*
GC: (DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN)
GC: *GC L1ST3NS TO TH31R T4L3S OF CORRUPT1ON 4ND GR33D 1NT3NTLY*
GC: *WH3N SH3 C4NNOT B34R TO H34R 4NOTH3R WORD, SH3 SN4PS TH3 COMPL41N1NG 34RTH HUM4NS UP W1TH ON3 B1T3*
GC: *B3C4US3 SH3 W4S ST1LL HUNGRY OBV1OUSLY*
GC: *UNFOLD1NG H3R M1GHTY THR33 HUNDR3D FOOT W1NGSP4N, GC T4K3S ONC3 MOR3 TO THE SK13S, FU3LL3D BY TH3 N33D FOR JUST1C3*
GC: *NO CORRUPT D1CT4TORS H4V3 3V3R 3SC4P3D MY M1GHTY J4WS OF JUST1C3! SH3 RO4RS, FOR 1 4M TH3 F13RC3ST 4ND MOST NOBL3 OF 4LL DR4GONYY'YD L3G1SL4C3R4TORS!*
GC: *1T 1SNT LONG B4FOR3 GC H4S SPOTT3D H3R PR3Y 4ND SH3 D1V3S PURPOS3FULLY 4T TH3 CROOK3D TYR4NT, H3R D34DLY 4ND 3L3G4NT T4LONS OUTSTR3TCH3D, R34DY TO D3L1V3R TH3 K1LL1NG BLOW—
GC: W41T W41T
GC: WH4T DO YOU M34N NO OR1G1N4L CH4R4CT3RS 4LLOW3D?
GC: WH4T SORT OF L4M3 ROL3PL4Y 1S TH1S?
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling campfuckuDie [CD]--
Poll Vote!
Character: Iwasawa
Series: Angel Beats!
Character Age: Teenaged
Canon: Sometimes, death isn't all it's cracked up to be. There are lingering doubts, regrets, potentially crazy white-haired girls out to shank you in the face -- well, at least, all of those are prominent in Angel Beats!. Every single character in the series is dead, and the show itself is based in a sort of Purgatory that resembles a typical high school. The series focuses on Otonashi and his involvement the "Shinda Sekai Sensen" (SSS; the "Afterlife War Front" in English), an organization formed by a few teenagers who refused to accept their deaths to rebel against God due to the cruel fates that they had to endure. Their enemy? A white haired girl named "Angel" who may either descend from God or be just like them. They're not entirely certain half the time.
Iwasawa seems somewhat out of place in the SSS. As the lead singer and guitarist for the band "Girls Dead Monster," Iwasawa is a member of the Diversionary Division; her band performs and distracts both the other students and even Angel while the rest of the SSS perform various missions. Iwasawa herself is a quiet girl. She finds solace in music, preferring to express herself through song rather than through simple words. When she speaks normally, it's restrained and flat. Her sentences are short and to the point, although she’ll elaborate if it’s music-related. She is unfazed by most things and tends to solely concentrate on her music. However, her passion shines through her singing, and her one desire is for her music to save people the way music saved her.
Sample Post:
There is a problem. ... Stop playing.
The "Kraken Chorale" is still an experimental piece. While the lyrics have been mostly refined and the rhythm is slowly coming into place, I believe there are a few issues with the harmonies. Namely: the piece is not a dirge. I am afraid there is no place for guttural lamentations in this song. I recognize that this is an issue for the two of you; Blarghh, you are no longer in possession of your tongue, which happens to be a key component in terms of vocalizing and Snarf, you lack much of your neck, including your vocal cords. My critique for Blarghh applies for you as well. We can work that into our next piece -- I've already titled it the "Ranch Requiem" -- but for now, you should refrain from your attempts at singing.
What you two can do instead is practice your accompaniment. Blarghh, your positioning on your guitar is completely incorrect. Arch your fingers that hold down the strings a bit more -- that will allow for the note to come out more clearly. As for your other hand ... ah, this is problematic. I'll pick that up. It's difficult to hold a guitar pick when one of the fingers you have to hold it between falls off continuously. Instead, try this: use the finger itself as a pick. The sound should be just as strong, you will be able to grip it with more ease, and you won’t have to worry about it falling off repeatedly. Morbid, but effective.
Snarf, the rest of your body parts are intact and attached, which is necessary for a drummer. However, I ... believe another drum set may be necessary. I have seen drum sets previously that used snake skin for covering and the sound was incredible. Still, I don't think the same concept applies to gorilla skin -- particularly when there is still fur on said skin. The fact that you can take down a 400+ pound mammal is impressive and I have no issues with what you do with it after the fact. But the fur distorts the sound, making it an ill fit for this piece or any piece. At the very least, you could attempt to remove the fur and see if that improves your sound quality.
In the meantime, Blarghh, let's do another run-through of the "Kraken Chorale." All I need is my sheet music and--
♪ She's way up in the silo
Tentacles reached towards the sky
Couldn't reach her if you try
Ohh ...
But beware of where she lurks
And her long, suction-y reach
Looking for pants and jeans to breach
Ohh ...
Well, look out! Marcy's comin'!
Don't go thinkin' that now she's stuck!
Look out! The kraken is comin'!
She's gonna find someone else to-- ♫
... I didn't write these lyrics.
Poll Vote!
Name: Kamijou Touma
Series: To Aru Majutsu no Index (A Certain Magical Index)
Age: 15
Canon: To Aru Majutsu no Index is what happens when a certain writer decides that while magic, psychics and religion are cool individually, it would be even cooler to throw them together in one setting. And have them fight. Shut up, it's totally original. The story is set in the lazily-named yet highly-advanced Academy City, where kids go to become psychics. Through science. It makes sense in context. The protagonist is a certain student living in that city: Kamijou Touma, a Level-0 Esper (read: pathetic) with a strong sense of justice (read: stupid) who happens to be a magnet for trouble. Like when a certain loli-nun with 103,000 forbidden grimoires downloaded into her brain collapsed on his balcony, which would be the catalyst for an ever-escalating war between science and magic, with Touma at the centre of it all. It's just as convoluted as it sounds.
Despite being labeled Level-0 by Academy City's Power Curriculum Program, Touma does in fact have a power: the Imagine Breaker, the ability to negate all supernatural phenomena, be it magic, psychic or even divine forces with his right hand. As a side effect, this ability also saps away Touma's luck, essentially making him the world's butt monkey. Perhaps as a result, Touma much prefers to shy away from trouble, and hopes to pass through life with as little event as possible. Unfortunately, he is also the type of person who is incapable of ignoring someone in trouble. Although he complains often, he is kind, altruistic, heavily idealistic, and always does his best to make sure nothing and no one has to be sacrificed, even if he himself gets heavily mangled in the process. He tends to think and talk in narrative-like long-winded monologues, is rather genre-savvy and often makes long heroic speeches which almost always go uninterrupted, regardless of the situation. His catchphrase is "Such misfortune", a phrase he repeats at least once per episode.
MINOR NOTE: Academy City has heavy security that requires a permit for anyone who wishes to leave.
Sample Post:
For various reasons, I was unable to complete my summer homework before the due date. After pleading with my head bowed low, I was mercifully given one more week to complete it. And so, after multiple all-nighters, and even being forced to rewrite everything twice, I finally managed to complete everything just hours before the time limit. Yes, even if the heavens themselves were against it, I, Kamijou Touma, was mere hours before proudly turning in my assignment! And, with precious few hours left to me, I decided to take a light nap before I set out to the finish line of this long marathon of strenuous pain and suffering.
...... So, why? Just what the heck is up with this setting...!? This clean air! The fields of corn! The cows! Isn't this weird!? Hey, I'm a resident of Academy City, aren't I!? That ridiculously advanced technophile's dreamland Academy City, right!? Then what's up with these cows!? No, it's not like I have something against cows or anything. Even though the moment I found myself here I ended up with my foot three inches deep in cow dung, I can still forgive that. But... But! In this world, there are things no man can ever forgive! And one such example is.... THIS!! The summer homework that I poured so much blood, sweat and tears over is now in ruins!! And the culprit is...!!
That's right... The first thing I saw when I woke up in this all-too-peaceful scenery... was a cow devouring my week's worth of hard effort without the slightest care in the world!! Although I desperately tried to save it, in the end, all I managed to salvage is this torn five-centimetre scrap of paper. Ah... The tears I've been forcefully holding back up until now are starting to leak out mercilessly...
...... But, I guess this really isn't the time for that. This place is clearly a farm, right? It's not as if Academy City doesn't have any crops or livestock, but to my knowledge, such a place doesn't exist within the city walls. Which means... I'm here illegally? Oi, don't tell me I've been kidnapped...? .........
... Heh. Really, you nearly got me there, but don't think I'll always be the usual Kamijou-san who always panics when things go wrong. After getting involved in so many ridiculous catastrophes, it'll take more than this to make me completely lose it. Whether it's a farm or cows or even... a brochure in my pocket that definitely wasn't there before? Huh? What is this? Umm... "Welcome to Camp Fuck You Die. We hope you enjoy your stay in our fabulous American midwestern farmland establishment..." ........... Eh? Midwestern farmland? America? ...........
Th, This is definitely a joke, right? Certainly, the picture on the brochure perfectly matches the surrounding scenery, including the eerily exact placement of the cows, but it's definitely just an overly elaborate prank, right!? Certainly, the phone's GPS completely agrees with the brochure, but that's clearly just an error, RIGHT!? ... Aa, seriously...!!
------SUCH MISFORTUUUUUUNNNEEE!!!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jacqli
Series: Ar Tonelico II: Melodies of Metafalica
Character Age: Looks 15
Canon: Ar Ciel is a world where the surface of the planet has become uninhabitable, and people are forced to live high up in the sky on artificial pieces of land connected to towers. Those same towers provide power to beings known as Reyvateils: a female-only race that is capable of using Song Magic to heal, attack, generally kick ass, and, on special occasions, even create more land. According to a legend in Metafalss, "Metafalica" is a song that could create the ideal land, filled with peace and happiness. The only problem? Apparently Metafalss's Goddess isn't too excited at the idea of people singing Metafalica, and so, she forbade it. Guided by the Holy Maiden Cloche, an organization called the Grand Bell wages war against the Goddess and looks for a way to turn Metafalica into reality.
Jacqli, however, has very little to do with any of this. An outsider, she is a mysterious girl who follows her own agenda and seems to care very little about whatever's going to happen to Metafalss. Initially an enemy, Jacqli joins the party on a whim after they find themselves to be no longer at odds with one another. Jacqli isn't particularly friendly and isn't concerned about people's opinions or thoughts; especially not when they happen to be humans. She does seems to enjoy scaring or shocking others, though. One of the most powerful Reyvateils in the game, Jacqli is quite confident in her abilities and doesn't mind showing it. She's also very intelligent, and displays an amazing knowledge about the towers and its workings. Even though she has a very dry way of speaking, she makes no effort to hide the sarcasm behind her words.
Additionally, Jacqli has a passion for writing stories, and can be quite serious about them, even if they tend to be a bit... special. She also has an odd perception of what's cute.
Sample:
Such a fascinating farmland. I have never seen something quite this impressive. It is truly a pity that I am much too busy to waste my time in this place. Honestly, I have no intention of spending the rest of my days here. Not unless I get something interesting out of it, of course. After all, I am putting my time on the line here, and I have no intention of spending it being bored. All living beings need some sort of hobby, and I am no exception. Even in such a place, there must be something that could entertain me.
Thinking about it, I must say the background story of this place isn't quite exciting enough. Promoting it with a guidebook isn't going to change that fact, not even with a purple gorilla handing it out to newcomers in front of the Mess Hall. When I opened it, I was hoping for a far more entertaining read. But it's rather clichč; why would anyone care about this Stephan Debussey if he's dead already? And for a murder mystery, it lacks action. A fight with some incredible creature would have made the story more thrilling. Not to mention that without a magical heroine and a evil organization, it is hardly going to catch the reader's attention. Perhaps I should rewrite this entire guidebook; it'll be a good way to avoid getting bored.
Looking at it, it doesn't even include anything about the origins of the creatures here. Considering how widespread those cute zombies seem to be, I believe it's only fair to include them. Whoever wrote that story must be one of those people who can only like the kind of things that seem cute at first glance, since they didn't seem to appreciate them enough to give the zombies a backstory. But unlike them, I like things that you need to think about before you can truly understand their cuteness. Since it would be in the zombies' best interest, I'll make sure to write a reason for them to be trapped in this place with everyone else. Perhaps I could make it so all the humans summoned here are being turned into zombies by a mad scientist. Everyone loves mad scientists in scripts just as much as they love romance.
From now on, Elizabeth Sayre will be one such mad scientist, and she decided to turn all humans into living dead after witnessing all of their terrible deeds. In order to gain her powers and the necessary technology for such a feat, she sacrificed her lover to a cruel Overlord whose identity will remain mysterious. As a reward for the sacrifice, she received a kraken monster who would also serve as a living gate between many worlds. Being emotionless, the kraken served dutifully for many years without complaints; however, one day, the unexpected happened. Witnessing the powerful bond between two zombies in love, the kraken's heart awoke, and so did her emotions. Not wanting to serve as the gate any longer, Marcy -that was the name the kraken gave herself - decided to rebel. She assumed the identity of Magical Tentacle and waged war against Sayre.
Such a story is sure to grab enough attention from all newcomers... or permanently scar them, anyway. I must say, I would love to see the face of some poor little boy upon reading his and believing that he may be turned into a zombie soon. Perhaps I should add more gruesome details about the process of turning into one.
Poll Vote!
Character: Equius Zahhak
Series: Homestuck
Age: 6 Alternian solar sweeps (13 in Earth years)
Canon: (CONTAINS SPOILERS.) Homestuck is a webcomic with occasional bouts of interactive Flash videos that tells the story of four 13-year-old kids who play a dumb game called “Sburb” that no one else in the world particularly cares about. Sucks to be the rest of humanity, though, because the point of Sburb is to destroy the current players’ planet and create a new universe, presumably for the game players to live in. But wait, the plot thickens: the game of Sburb has been doomed to fail from the very beginning according to some trolls who have already played the game (titled “Sgrub”) in their universe. No, really!
Equius Zahhak is one of the trolls who played Sgrub. He’s not a very friendly guy--but then again, trolls aren’t supposed to be. He’s one of the only trolls who cares about his caste placement on the blood hemospectrum, which is helpfully ranked in the order of the rainbow with red being the lowest and violet being the highest. Equius is 4th highest with blue blood, which feeds into his interesting quirk of enjoying being ordered around just a little too much--it’s one of his triggers for his rather gross sweating problem and he requires a towel to clean himself every time. He also loves grotesquely muscular beasts native to the troll homeworld of Alternia, being strong, and archery, despite completely sucking at it. On Trollian (the messaging program of choice), Equius takes the handle of centaursTesticle [CT], doesn’t use ending punctuation, prefaces every message with the sacred bow and arrow D --> and greatly abhors 100d language unfitting of b100b100ds. Cussing is not an e%ception.
Sample Post:
-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling campfuckyouDie [CD] at 4:13 --
CT: D --> This is abso100tely reprehensible
CT: D --> The filthy-b100ded wriggler responsible for this place’s atrocious namesake needs to show themselves
CT: D --> So that I may give them their due punishment
CT: D --> For e%posing a high-class b100b100d such as myself to this incredibly vulgar language
CT: D --> I will not stand for your insubordination
CT: D --> You will alter all instances of the appearance of this word immediately
CT: D --> If you would like to confront me about this in person by means of a high-sta% fight to the end
CT: D --> I am located near the magnificent seabeast’s inappropriate place of refuge
CT: D --> I respect that these beasts are wonderful creatures to be adored by all
CT: D --> But I am perple%ed by the decision to hoist her into an environment that does not suit her
CT: D --> She appears to be content so I suppose I have no need to intervene
CT: D --> As long as we are on the subject of the stunning creatures found in this grossly named camp
CT: D --> I am pleased with the large purple beasts walking about
CT: D --> However
CT: D --> Your efforts to represent the higher class of the hemospectrum of the highly superior troll species are not without faults
CT: D --> For instance, these delightfully colored hulking beasts are not even quadrupedal
CT: D --> Like the hoofed musclebeast, though we high-class trolls call them by their proper name, ‘centaurs’
CT: D --> But I will not hold this unfortunate act of gene misplacement against these beasts
CT: D --> In fact I wish to congratulate them, perhaps with a firm pat on the back
centaursTesticle’s [CT’S] congratulatory backpat crushed the unsuspecting, unnamed purple beast’s spine.
CT: D --> Oh God
CT: D --> I didn’t take my strength into account
CT: D --> That was not the intended result
CT: D --> Please understand I meant no harm to your fellow beast brother
CT: D --> For someone lower on the hemospectrum to do such a thing is abso100tely despicable
CT: D --> Yes, it is so awful to fathom
CT: D --> Tell me what an awful, low-class scum I am
CT: D --> Compared to you of the purple fur and b100d
CT: D --> Oh
CT: D --> Ummm, I think
CT: D --> We should leave this topic alone for now
CT: D --> I’m sweating
CT: D --> Nnnnnnnnn
CT: D --> I need a towel
-- centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling campfuckyouDie [CD] --
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. THAT'LL DO
Character: Terezi Pyrope
Series: Homestuck
Character Age: 6 Solar Sweeps/13 Earth Years
Canon: Once upon a time, in the distant past and/or future, there are trolls on the internet. No, I mean actual trolls. Alien trolls with horns and time-bending chat programs and weird mating habits and serious attitude problems. And among these trolls is Terezi. Blinded by an unfortunate incident, she now uses scent and taste to "see" the world around her. No one's quite sure how this works, but that doesn't stop her from functionally using her computer. Nor does it stop her from regularly describing in a little too much detail just how delicious things smell and taste, and how much she loves the oh so delicious color/flavor red.
She's also an avid roleplayer, and enjoys regular live action roleplay sessions, particularly of courtroom dramas with her plushie Scalemates, who are always found guilty due to her immense love of justice and hanging corrupt plushie politicians from the end of a noose. She also enjoys chatlog roleplay with a friend, in which she pretends to be a member of a "mysterious and noble dragonyy'yd race". Yeah, you read that right. She's got a Mary Sue fursona, and it's a badass dragon who eats people.
Most of Homestuck's dialogue takes place via instant messenger, on which Terezi's handle is gallowsCalibrator, and she SP34KS W1TH TH3 NUM3R4LS TH3 BL1ND PROPH3TS ONC3 US3D.
Sample App:
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling campfuckuDie [CD]--
GC: H3LLO 34RTH HUM4NS OF C4MPFUCKUD13!
GC: 1 H34RD YOU L1K3 ROL3PL4Y1NG G4M3S.
GC: YOUR "4PPL1C4T1ON SYST3M" 1S 4 L1TTL3 STR4NG3 4ND
GC: TO B3 HON3ST
GC: M4K3S YOU LOOK L1K3 4 BUNCH OF 3L1T1STS.
GC: BUT TH4TS H4LF TH3 R34SON 1'M LOOK1NG FORW4RD TO PL4Y1NG W1TH YOU!
GC: SO 1V3 R34D OV3R YOUR RUL3S FOR 4PPLY1NG
GC: 4ND 4LL 1 H4V3 TO DO 1S 1MPR3SS S3V3NTY P3RC3NT OF TH3S3 COOL K1D 34RTH ZOMB13S WHO 4R3 G3TT1NG TH31R D3L1C1OUS SM3LL1NG C4NDY-R3D BLOOD 4LL OV3R TH3 PL4C3?
GC: NO PROBL3M.
GC: 3V3N 1F TH3Y DO TRY TO D1STR4CT M3 W1TH TH3 T4STY CH3RRY FLV4OR OF TH31R 1NS1D3-JU1C3S.
GC: H3R3 GO3S:
GC: *GC RO4RS F3ROC1OUSLY 4S SH3 SWOOPS DOWN ON TH3 UNSUSP3CT1NG 3NC4MPM3NT*
GC: *SH3 SO4RS GR4C3FULLY OV3RH34D, SURV3Y1NG H3R SURROUND1NGS*
GC: *JUST TH3N, GC SPOTS 4 D3L1C1OUS MOOB34ST 4ND D1V3S DOWN UPON 1T, SN4PP1NG 1T UP 1N H3R M4SS1V3 4ND POW3RFUL J4WS*
GC: ...BL3URGH!
GC: OOPS, I M34N
GC: *BL3URGH! GC SHOUTS UPON D1SCOV3R1NG TH4T TH3 B1Z4RR3 CR34TUR3 SH3 SN4PP3D UP CONT41N3D ONLY D1SGUST1NG O1LY SLUDG3*
GC: *NOT TH3 D3L1C1OUS F1LL1NG SH3 H4D B33N 3XP3CT1NG!*
GC: *1RR1T4T3D BY TH1S, SH3 V1C1OUSLY FL1NGS 1TS M3T4LL1C CORPS3 4S1D3 4ND FL13S ON*
GC: *GC TH3N COM3S UPON 4 GROUP OF YOUNG 34RTH HUM4NS ST4ND1NG 1N TH3 3X4CT C3NT3R OF TH3 3NC4MP3NT*
GC: *GC L4NDS 4MONGST TH3M TO L1ST3N 1N 4ND H34RS TH3M T3LL OF TH31R 3V1L HUM4N D1CT4TOR, KNOWN ONLY 4S...*
GC: *TH3 D1R3CTOR*
GC: (DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN)
GC: *GC L1ST3NS TO TH31R T4L3S OF CORRUPT1ON 4ND GR33D 1NT3NTLY*
GC: *WH3N SH3 C4NNOT B34R TO H34R 4NOTH3R WORD, SH3 SN4PS TH3 COMPL41N1NG 34RTH HUM4NS UP W1TH ON3 B1T3*
GC: *B3C4US3 SH3 W4S ST1LL HUNGRY OBV1OUSLY*
GC: *UNFOLD1NG H3R M1GHTY THR33 HUNDR3D FOOT W1NGSP4N, GC T4K3S ONC3 MOR3 TO THE SK13S, FU3LL3D BY TH3 N33D FOR JUST1C3*
GC: *NO CORRUPT D1CT4TORS H4V3 3V3R 3SC4P3D MY M1GHTY J4WS OF JUST1C3! SH3 RO4RS, FOR 1 4M TH3 F13RC3ST 4ND MOST NOBL3 OF 4LL DR4GONYY'YD L3G1SL4C3R4TORS!*
GC: *1T 1SNT LONG B4FOR3 GC H4S SPOTT3D H3R PR3Y 4ND SH3 D1V3S PURPOS3FULLY 4T TH3 CROOK3D TYR4NT, H3R D34DLY 4ND 3L3G4NT T4LONS OUTSTR3TCH3D, R34DY TO D3L1V3R TH3 K1LL1NG BLOW—
GC: W41T W41T
GC: WH4T DO YOU M34N NO OR1G1N4L CH4R4CT3RS 4LLOW3D?
GC: WH4T SORT OF L4M3 ROL3PL4Y 1S TH1S?
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling campfuckuDie [CD]--
Poll Vote!
Character: Iwasawa
Series: Angel Beats!
Character Age: Teenaged
Canon: Sometimes, death isn't all it's cracked up to be. There are lingering doubts, regrets, potentially crazy white-haired girls out to shank you in the face -- well, at least, all of those are prominent in Angel Beats!. Every single character in the series is dead, and the show itself is based in a sort of Purgatory that resembles a typical high school. The series focuses on Otonashi and his involvement the "Shinda Sekai Sensen" (SSS; the "Afterlife War Front" in English), an organization formed by a few teenagers who refused to accept their deaths to rebel against God due to the cruel fates that they had to endure. Their enemy? A white haired girl named "Angel" who may either descend from God or be just like them. They're not entirely certain half the time.
Iwasawa seems somewhat out of place in the SSS. As the lead singer and guitarist for the band "Girls Dead Monster," Iwasawa is a member of the Diversionary Division; her band performs and distracts both the other students and even Angel while the rest of the SSS perform various missions. Iwasawa herself is a quiet girl. She finds solace in music, preferring to express herself through song rather than through simple words. When she speaks normally, it's restrained and flat. Her sentences are short and to the point, although she’ll elaborate if it’s music-related. She is unfazed by most things and tends to solely concentrate on her music. However, her passion shines through her singing, and her one desire is for her music to save people the way music saved her.
Sample Post:
There is a problem. ... Stop playing.
The "Kraken Chorale" is still an experimental piece. While the lyrics have been mostly refined and the rhythm is slowly coming into place, I believe there are a few issues with the harmonies. Namely: the piece is not a dirge. I am afraid there is no place for guttural lamentations in this song. I recognize that this is an issue for the two of you; Blarghh, you are no longer in possession of your tongue, which happens to be a key component in terms of vocalizing and Snarf, you lack much of your neck, including your vocal cords. My critique for Blarghh applies for you as well. We can work that into our next piece -- I've already titled it the "Ranch Requiem" -- but for now, you should refrain from your attempts at singing.
What you two can do instead is practice your accompaniment. Blarghh, your positioning on your guitar is completely incorrect. Arch your fingers that hold down the strings a bit more -- that will allow for the note to come out more clearly. As for your other hand ... ah, this is problematic. I'll pick that up. It's difficult to hold a guitar pick when one of the fingers you have to hold it between falls off continuously. Instead, try this: use the finger itself as a pick. The sound should be just as strong, you will be able to grip it with more ease, and you won’t have to worry about it falling off repeatedly. Morbid, but effective.
Snarf, the rest of your body parts are intact and attached, which is necessary for a drummer. However, I ... believe another drum set may be necessary. I have seen drum sets previously that used snake skin for covering and the sound was incredible. Still, I don't think the same concept applies to gorilla skin -- particularly when there is still fur on said skin. The fact that you can take down a 400+ pound mammal is impressive and I have no issues with what you do with it after the fact. But the fur distorts the sound, making it an ill fit for this piece or any piece. At the very least, you could attempt to remove the fur and see if that improves your sound quality.
In the meantime, Blarghh, let's do another run-through of the "Kraken Chorale." All I need is my sheet music and--
♪ She's way up in the silo
Tentacles reached towards the sky
Couldn't reach her if you try
Ohh ...
But beware of where she lurks
And her long, suction-y reach
Looking for pants and jeans to breach
Ohh ...
Well, look out! Marcy's comin'!
Don't go thinkin' that now she's stuck!
Look out! The kraken is comin'!
She's gonna find someone else to-- ♫
... I didn't write these lyrics.
Poll Vote!
Name: Kamijou Touma
Series: To Aru Majutsu no Index (A Certain Magical Index)
Age: 15
Canon: To Aru Majutsu no Index is what happens when a certain writer decides that while magic, psychics and religion are cool individually, it would be even cooler to throw them together in one setting. And have them fight. Shut up, it's totally original. The story is set in the lazily-named yet highly-advanced Academy City, where kids go to become psychics. Through science. It makes sense in context. The protagonist is a certain student living in that city: Kamijou Touma, a Level-0 Esper (read: pathetic) with a strong sense of justice (read: stupid) who happens to be a magnet for trouble. Like when a certain loli-nun with 103,000 forbidden grimoires downloaded into her brain collapsed on his balcony, which would be the catalyst for an ever-escalating war between science and magic, with Touma at the centre of it all. It's just as convoluted as it sounds.
Despite being labeled Level-0 by Academy City's Power Curriculum Program, Touma does in fact have a power: the Imagine Breaker, the ability to negate all supernatural phenomena, be it magic, psychic or even divine forces with his right hand. As a side effect, this ability also saps away Touma's luck, essentially making him the world's butt monkey. Perhaps as a result, Touma much prefers to shy away from trouble, and hopes to pass through life with as little event as possible. Unfortunately, he is also the type of person who is incapable of ignoring someone in trouble. Although he complains often, he is kind, altruistic, heavily idealistic, and always does his best to make sure nothing and no one has to be sacrificed, even if he himself gets heavily mangled in the process. He tends to think and talk in narrative-like long-winded monologues, is rather genre-savvy and often makes long heroic speeches which almost always go uninterrupted, regardless of the situation. His catchphrase is "Such misfortune", a phrase he repeats at least once per episode.
MINOR NOTE: Academy City has heavy security that requires a permit for anyone who wishes to leave.
Sample Post:
For various reasons, I was unable to complete my summer homework before the due date. After pleading with my head bowed low, I was mercifully given one more week to complete it. And so, after multiple all-nighters, and even being forced to rewrite everything twice, I finally managed to complete everything just hours before the time limit. Yes, even if the heavens themselves were against it, I, Kamijou Touma, was mere hours before proudly turning in my assignment! And, with precious few hours left to me, I decided to take a light nap before I set out to the finish line of this long marathon of strenuous pain and suffering.
...... So, why? Just what the heck is up with this setting...!? This clean air! The fields of corn! The cows! Isn't this weird!? Hey, I'm a resident of Academy City, aren't I!? That ridiculously advanced technophile's dreamland Academy City, right!? Then what's up with these cows!? No, it's not like I have something against cows or anything. Even though the moment I found myself here I ended up with my foot three inches deep in cow dung, I can still forgive that. But... But! In this world, there are things no man can ever forgive! And one such example is.... THIS!! The summer homework that I poured so much blood, sweat and tears over is now in ruins!! And the culprit is...!!
That's right... The first thing I saw when I woke up in this all-too-peaceful scenery... was a cow devouring my week's worth of hard effort without the slightest care in the world!! Although I desperately tried to save it, in the end, all I managed to salvage is this torn five-centimetre scrap of paper. Ah... The tears I've been forcefully holding back up until now are starting to leak out mercilessly...
...... But, I guess this really isn't the time for that. This place is clearly a farm, right? It's not as if Academy City doesn't have any crops or livestock, but to my knowledge, such a place doesn't exist within the city walls. Which means... I'm here illegally? Oi, don't tell me I've been kidnapped...? .........
... Heh. Really, you nearly got me there, but don't think I'll always be the usual Kamijou-san who always panics when things go wrong. After getting involved in so many ridiculous catastrophes, it'll take more than this to make me completely lose it. Whether it's a farm or cows or even... a brochure in my pocket that definitely wasn't there before? Huh? What is this? Umm... "Welcome to Camp Fuck You Die. We hope you enjoy your stay in our fabulous American midwestern farmland establishment..." ........... Eh? Midwestern farmland? America? ...........
Th, This is definitely a joke, right? Certainly, the picture on the brochure perfectly matches the surrounding scenery, including the eerily exact placement of the cows, but it's definitely just an overly elaborate prank, right!? Certainly, the phone's GPS completely agrees with the brochure, but that's clearly just an error, RIGHT!? ... Aa, seriously...!!
------SUCH MISFORTUUUUUUNNNEEE!!!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jacqli
Series: Ar Tonelico II: Melodies of Metafalica
Character Age: Looks 15
Canon: Ar Ciel is a world where the surface of the planet has become uninhabitable, and people are forced to live high up in the sky on artificial pieces of land connected to towers. Those same towers provide power to beings known as Reyvateils: a female-only race that is capable of using Song Magic to heal, attack, generally kick ass, and, on special occasions, even create more land. According to a legend in Metafalss, "Metafalica" is a song that could create the ideal land, filled with peace and happiness. The only problem? Apparently Metafalss's Goddess isn't too excited at the idea of people singing Metafalica, and so, she forbade it. Guided by the Holy Maiden Cloche, an organization called the Grand Bell wages war against the Goddess and looks for a way to turn Metafalica into reality.
Jacqli, however, has very little to do with any of this. An outsider, she is a mysterious girl who follows her own agenda and seems to care very little about whatever's going to happen to Metafalss. Initially an enemy, Jacqli joins the party on a whim after they find themselves to be no longer at odds with one another. Jacqli isn't particularly friendly and isn't concerned about people's opinions or thoughts; especially not when they happen to be humans. She does seems to enjoy scaring or shocking others, though. One of the most powerful Reyvateils in the game, Jacqli is quite confident in her abilities and doesn't mind showing it. She's also very intelligent, and displays an amazing knowledge about the towers and its workings. Even though she has a very dry way of speaking, she makes no effort to hide the sarcasm behind her words.
Additionally, Jacqli has a passion for writing stories, and can be quite serious about them, even if they tend to be a bit... special. She also has an odd perception of what's cute.
Sample:
Such a fascinating farmland. I have never seen something quite this impressive. It is truly a pity that I am much too busy to waste my time in this place. Honestly, I have no intention of spending the rest of my days here. Not unless I get something interesting out of it, of course. After all, I am putting my time on the line here, and I have no intention of spending it being bored. All living beings need some sort of hobby, and I am no exception. Even in such a place, there must be something that could entertain me.
Thinking about it, I must say the background story of this place isn't quite exciting enough. Promoting it with a guidebook isn't going to change that fact, not even with a purple gorilla handing it out to newcomers in front of the Mess Hall. When I opened it, I was hoping for a far more entertaining read. But it's rather clichč; why would anyone care about this Stephan Debussey if he's dead already? And for a murder mystery, it lacks action. A fight with some incredible creature would have made the story more thrilling. Not to mention that without a magical heroine and a evil organization, it is hardly going to catch the reader's attention. Perhaps I should rewrite this entire guidebook; it'll be a good way to avoid getting bored.
Looking at it, it doesn't even include anything about the origins of the creatures here. Considering how widespread those cute zombies seem to be, I believe it's only fair to include them. Whoever wrote that story must be one of those people who can only like the kind of things that seem cute at first glance, since they didn't seem to appreciate them enough to give the zombies a backstory. But unlike them, I like things that you need to think about before you can truly understand their cuteness. Since it would be in the zombies' best interest, I'll make sure to write a reason for them to be trapped in this place with everyone else. Perhaps I could make it so all the humans summoned here are being turned into zombies by a mad scientist. Everyone loves mad scientists in scripts just as much as they love romance.
From now on, Elizabeth Sayre will be one such mad scientist, and she decided to turn all humans into living dead after witnessing all of their terrible deeds. In order to gain her powers and the necessary technology for such a feat, she sacrificed her lover to a cruel Overlord whose identity will remain mysterious. As a reward for the sacrifice, she received a kraken monster who would also serve as a living gate between many worlds. Being emotionless, the kraken served dutifully for many years without complaints; however, one day, the unexpected happened. Witnessing the powerful bond between two zombies in love, the kraken's heart awoke, and so did her emotions. Not wanting to serve as the gate any longer, Marcy -that was the name the kraken gave herself - decided to rebel. She assumed the identity of Magical Tentacle and waged war against Sayre.
Such a story is sure to grab enough attention from all newcomers... or permanently scar them, anyway. I must say, I would love to see the face of some poor little boy upon reading his and believing that he may be turned into a zombie soon. Perhaps I should add more gruesome details about the process of turning into one.
Poll Vote!
Character: Equius Zahhak
Series: Homestuck
Age: 6 Alternian solar sweeps (13 in Earth years)
Canon: (CONTAINS SPOILERS.) Homestuck is a webcomic with occasional bouts of interactive Flash videos that tells the story of four 13-year-old kids who play a dumb game called “Sburb” that no one else in the world particularly cares about. Sucks to be the rest of humanity, though, because the point of Sburb is to destroy the current players’ planet and create a new universe, presumably for the game players to live in. But wait, the plot thickens: the game of Sburb has been doomed to fail from the very beginning according to some trolls who have already played the game (titled “Sgrub”) in their universe. No, really!
Equius Zahhak is one of the trolls who played Sgrub. He’s not a very friendly guy--but then again, trolls aren’t supposed to be. He’s one of the only trolls who cares about his caste placement on the blood hemospectrum, which is helpfully ranked in the order of the rainbow with red being the lowest and violet being the highest. Equius is 4th highest with blue blood, which feeds into his interesting quirk of enjoying being ordered around just a little too much--it’s one of his triggers for his rather gross sweating problem and he requires a towel to clean himself every time. He also loves grotesquely muscular beasts native to the troll homeworld of Alternia, being strong, and archery, despite completely sucking at it. On Trollian (the messaging program of choice), Equius takes the handle of centaursTesticle [CT], doesn’t use ending punctuation, prefaces every message with the sacred bow and arrow D --> and greatly abhors 100d language unfitting of b100b100ds. Cussing is not an e%ception.
Sample Post:
-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling campfuckyouDie [CD] at 4:13 --
CT: D --> This is abso100tely reprehensible
CT: D --> The filthy-b100ded wriggler responsible for this place’s atrocious namesake needs to show themselves
CT: D --> So that I may give them their due punishment
CT: D --> For e%posing a high-class b100b100d such as myself to this incredibly vulgar language
CT: D --> I will not stand for your insubordination
CT: D --> You will alter all instances of the appearance of this word immediately
CT: D --> If you would like to confront me about this in person by means of a high-sta% fight to the end
CT: D --> I am located near the magnificent seabeast’s inappropriate place of refuge
CT: D --> I respect that these beasts are wonderful creatures to be adored by all
CT: D --> But I am perple%ed by the decision to hoist her into an environment that does not suit her
CT: D --> She appears to be content so I suppose I have no need to intervene
CT: D --> As long as we are on the subject of the stunning creatures found in this grossly named camp
CT: D --> I am pleased with the large purple beasts walking about
CT: D --> However
CT: D --> Your efforts to represent the higher class of the hemospectrum of the highly superior troll species are not without faults
CT: D --> For instance, these delightfully colored hulking beasts are not even quadrupedal
CT: D --> Like the hoofed musclebeast, though we high-class trolls call them by their proper name, ‘centaurs’
CT: D --> But I will not hold this unfortunate act of gene misplacement against these beasts
CT: D --> In fact I wish to congratulate them, perhaps with a firm pat on the back
centaursTesticle’s [CT’S] congratulatory backpat crushed the unsuspecting, unnamed purple beast’s spine.
CT: D --> Oh God
CT: D --> I didn’t take my strength into account
CT: D --> That was not the intended result
CT: D --> Please understand I meant no harm to your fellow beast brother
CT: D --> For someone lower on the hemospectrum to do such a thing is abso100tely despicable
CT: D --> Yes, it is so awful to fathom
CT: D --> Tell me what an awful, low-class scum I am
CT: D --> Compared to you of the purple fur and b100d
CT: D --> Oh
CT: D --> Ummm, I think
CT: D --> We should leave this topic alone for now
CT: D --> I’m sweating
CT: D --> Nnnnnnnnn
CT: D --> I need a towel
-- centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling campfuckyouDie [CD] --
Poll Vote!