(no subject)
Last round! LE SHOCK. Information re: dates for the next camper round will be coming up later, watch this space.
ETA: Well, in a spectacular comedy of errors, apparently gmail was eating delicious emails on Friday night! If your app is missing and you haven't contacted me yet, don't panic, just resend your application to the app inbox with a quick note at the top. If you could notify me too about your circumstances - Katherine on IRC/tenuously at googlemail dot com - I'd be grateful. The real final app round will go up in a few hours, after the PSTers have had a little while to wake up and confirm that these apps are all that are left. Thanks for your patience, guys. ♥ Please continue to vote on this batch as you normally would, of course.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed. WE'RE NEARLY THERE, FOLKS.
Character name: Hiroto Suto/ Go-On Gold
Series: Engine Sentai Go-Onger
Age: 26
Job: Ornithological counselor
Canon: Imagine this: a group of interplanetary, corporate evildoers set on dedicating their 9-5 to complete pollution of the eleven worlds. Of course, this all becomes relevant when they target ours: the Human World. Five people stand up to defend our planet’s ecosystem: the Engine Sentai Go-ongers. Clad in spandex, this team of five road warriors fight alongside their partners: Engines, animal and vehicle hybrids who come from Machine World. As time goes on, the battles become insurmountable--and thus they receive help in the form of the Go-On Wings: two siblings, trained by the Engines themselves to be the best of the best. At first, the Go-Ongers have a hard time adjusting to the new addition--egos clash and prides get wounded--but eventually they all come to work together.
The elder of the two siblings, Hiroto, is a calm and skilled individual. As part of the Go-On Wings. his Engine partner is Toripter, an energetic chicken-helicopter. Um. Yeah. Despite being cold and off-putting at first, he isn’t a bad guy--just a little egotistical. When you’re talented with music, trained in boxing, a good actor, a genius, the elite of the elite, and have psychic inclinations to boot, pride comes naturally. Really, he can do anything and everything. However, Hiroto does eventually open up to the team; he’s a very caring and protective individual (especially when it comes to his younger sister). He’s even accepted into the group as their father-type, a title he’s not entirely open in accepting. It’s embarrassing! Of course, the man isn’t all unreachable awesomeness--he harbors a fear of ghosts. Dad can’t be perfect all of the time.
Sample Entry:
'Ornithological Counselor'? There are two things this can mean, and I cannot accept either. One, I am no teacher; I would not speak with children on birds. Even if I have the knowledge for the position, I must turn this down. I have more important things to do, and there are others qualified to do the same thing. Counseling the birds themselves... the very concept is ridiculous. They're quite all right on their own, even if some of the species here are rather exotic for their setting. I would not delegate myself to a care taking position. I apologize, but I cannot-- Wait, I feel a voice calling to me. Over here?
Something must have happened; was it you? It can't be... I don't get feelings like that for simple issues such as a bird being stuck in a tree. Toucan Sam, if that's your real name, this problem seems more your own fault than an outside circumstance. True, this topiary may have interrupted your flight path with undergarments, but you should have been paying more attention.
Not only that, but you're very clearly overweight. Following your nose should no longer be the case, if it simply leads you to another bowl of cereal. What about a proper diet? Even I know that toucans feed primarily on fruit. Eating just sweetened multigrain is an insult to Ramphastos everywhere. That's the name of your family, by the way. I'm highly disappointed by you. This isn't advice; it's simply saying that even a human knows more about you and what's good for you than your pathetic self.
I would also appreciate it if you didn't call for me any longer. You may be a bird gifted with psychic powers, but you do not deserve them. You're putting no use to them, and wasting them like this only insults us both. Were I in you--and I would never be, remember that--I would start a strict regimen of exercise and improve my diet. While Froot Loops can be part of a balanced breakfast, they are not something you can sustain yourself on completely.
Before you ask, I'm not going to help you get out of the tree. If you cannot get out, then you should take the time and reflect on your life and your current predicament. Your position may be high in the air, but this is definitely a rock bottom for you. Maybe you can turn your life around now; mistaking Fruit of the Loom for Froot Loops isn't impossible to fix.
What do you mean, ‘I’m hired’? That was not my intention at all!
Poll Vote!
Character: Trish
Series: Devil May Cry
Job: Trolling and Cockblocking Counselor
Canon: 2000 years ago, a demon named Sparda sealed away the King of Hell, Mundus and in doing so, saving humanity. One of his twin sons, Dante, runs a small demon hunting business and that is where it all begins. In order to lure Dante to his death, Mundus created a clone of his mother and sent her to retrieve him. Being a creation of the King of Hell himself, she ruthlessly does her work and lures Dante in by bursting through the front of his store and stabbing him with his own sword. Her job was simple: lure him to Mallet Island due to the fact that she's a clone of Dante's mother Eva and kill him; if not because of the scorned demons there, then by his own brother. Her role was to keep him occupied and to trick him to stay there until Mundus killed him. However, despite her betrayal, Dante protected her and in turn, she did him. Thus her role as his very hot partner to the very campy and oft lazy, Dante.
Throughout the game(s) and the anime, Trish develops from a drone to someone seeking themselves to solidifying her position as Dante's partner. At first, her motivations were the please her master and her creator. She didn't know what it was like to have freewill or to even have a soul. As the game progressed, she began to see what mercy was and what friendship was. Though she was out to kill him, Dante still saved her from Mundus' wrath and to repay him, she saved him. After their escape, Trish feels lighter and liberated from her drone state of life. It's after that when she evolves into the anti-Eva: fun, apathetic, carefree, hot tempered, bitchy, self-involved and quite the antithesis of what a mother should be. She shops for designer clothes on Dante's credit cards, she wrecks stuff and expects Dante to deal with it, Dante negotiates their fees and if it's not enough he gets yelled at and she expects him to do what she says. Dante might be the most important person in her life, but she outwardly treats him the worst. What a great partner.
Character Age: 3-4 ... but looks like she's in her mid-20s.
Sample:
I'll be straight with you, babes: I don't really see the point of me having to do anything. I'm pretty sure you're all big boys and girls and you don't really need a counselor. Look at my title, it says I'm the fucking counselor of "Trolling and cockblocking". I think it is really, really, really easy to do both:
Step one: Find someone.
Step two: Annoy them.
Success! You have managed to troll them. You can add different outfits and you can get more and more elaborate with your plans, but in the end it boils down to those two main principles. Then you're going to ask "But what about the cockblocking". Then let me tell you kids/campers/ladies/gentleman/assholes, this is how you do it:
Step one: Be attractive.
Step two: Make someone think that they have a chance of having sex with you.
Step three: Don't have sex with them.
Easy.
Now, I know this might damage people's fragile self esteem, so consider this your disclaimer before I tell you guys the truth. So, if you're one to cry easily, to bitch about how I'm a bitch or passively aggressively tell me that you're awesome and that not all people have poor self esteem: Hi, I'm Trish and I'm going to be your counselor. Please hesitate to ask me anything because I'm not really going to give a damn.
Are you gone?
Are you lingering or are you rolling your eyes at me for all of this?
Because hey, I was nice enough to give you a warning. Don't bitch at me if you get your sensibilities offended or your precious feelings were hurt.
Alright, I'm here for the zombies. It's so fucking awesome that there is actual stuff to do here apart from sing-alongs and whatever the hell it is that you guys do here. So, here's the plan: I'm probably going to be out there having fun clubbing stuff, getting into fights, drinking beer or doing my nails - or even all three.
You got the plan? Great, now stick with it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hijikata Toshizou.
Series: Hakuouki.
Character Age: Early thirties.
Job: Positively Uplifting and Completely Inspiring Motivational Speaker.
Canon: When a young girl leaves home to look for her missing father, she unexpectedly finds herself a witness to the murder of a few local samurai by what appears to be people from the Shinsengumi. As they turn on her, she's rescued by different members and brought back to their headquarters where, once they decide to let her live, she takes up their cause to support the Shogunate and keep the extremists in check. The longer she's with them, though, the more she learns about the dark secrets they've been hiding -- that there are certain members who have turned into Rasetsu (demons) and now need blood to survive, as well as the truth about her past and origin.
In Hakuouki, and with most interpretations of his character, Hijikata is known as the "Demon Vice-Commander." He's extremely serious and hardworking, and he takes great pride in being a samurai. This shows in the way he handles his position in the Shinsengumi and its members; the latter towards whom he can be very harsh and cruel at times, but this is because he wholeheartedly believes in their cause and is willing to fight and die for it. Even after he becomes a Rasetsu (which makes his nickname much more literal), and despite its hindrances, he still pushes himself and others forward, unwilling to accept defeat or failure. That's not to say that he's completely cold and unfeeling, and it shows in the way he treats Chizuru; one of the few people whom he can truly relax or show his weaknesses around. And underneath his grumpy exterior, Hijikata cares very deeply about his friends and comrades and does his best to ignore any teasing or heckling that gets thrown his way.
Sample Entry:
[There is a man standing in a field of corn. His senses are sharp and focused as he stares down the approaching foe. He hasn't drawn his sword just yet, but his hand is resting on the hilt. As they get closer, he locks eyes with the leader. They're wide and a bit sad and droopy, but he doesn't waver because underestimating the enemy will certainly lead to injuries, or even worse, death. He slides into a fighting stance. The creature opens its mouth wide as if in a yawn, but reveals sharp teeth in the process. And as he slowly draws his sword, it attacks -- running in close and lifting a powerfully short and stubby leg to...pee on his boot.]
--No! When I said "go for the ankles" I meant biting! Pissing on an enemy isn't going to make them flee in fear. Even if you're puppies, show some restraint! Now, there's been very little progress here and we're running out of time. You have to take this more seriously. There's no room for error on the battlefield, and if we're going to win, we have to give it a hundred percent! Stop sticking your tongues out at me and get back into formation. You're not getting any treats until we get this right.
[He sheathes his sword and sighs as they turn and romp back to edge of the field, tails wagging.]
I know Kondou-san said we needed all the help we could get, and I have no problem training new recruits... But ordering me to train puppies?! Even if they're demon puppies, this is still certainly extreme even for him. Since I've been charged with this task, though, it's my responsibility to see it through to the best of my abilities. I refuse to accept failure as an option. [Looks at his boot.] Although, perhaps I should have started with house breaking them in first, not that that would make this any less absurd.
[And with another sigh, he sets the grim prospects aside and his seriousness settles back into place.]
Everyone listen up and pay attention! --This means that I need all of you to stop chasing each others' tails and playing around. We've got a long, hard road ahead of us and in order for this to work, we need to focus. The goal here is to take the enemy by surprise, but that's not going to happen if you can't be fierce enough to cause damage. Even if you're small, you're still proud warriors and members of the Shinsengumi! You should act like it! Become wolves and stand tall. Bare your fangs and don't be afraid to draw blood! I'm giving you free reign to attack me where you see fit. If you find an opening or a weakness, I want you to take full advantage. Remember, this is war! Now, go!
[Hijikata falls into position again, ready and waiting as the troops charge and...run straight past him into a rabble of butterflies, yipping and barking playfully as they chase the delicate creatures around; their orders completely forgotten. He turns to watch them, frowning deeply.]
...I'm starting to doubt your commitment to the Shinsengumi.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Sarge
Series: Red vs. Blue
Age: Unknown, but sounds well into counselor age
Job: Drill Sergeant
Canon: Red vs. Blue follows the story of a war between two rival factions in the far future, locked in eternal combat for the greater good. A greater good that neither side is fully aware of, nor really cares about anyway. Instead, Red team and Blue team have boiled down their fight to ‘kill the other team and take their flag.’ With their bases only 500 yards away from each other and three men to each team you’d think they’d be done by now, but you’d be amazed by what laziness and incompetency can do to overall efficiency.
As the leader of the Red team, Sarge is a seasoned veteran with years of experience under his belt. He’s absolutely dedicated to the war and will stop at nothing to defeat the Blues. This generally results in a complete lack of care for his team’s welfare, frequent degradations, and occasionally turning one of them into a cyborg for maximum efficiency. While some people might call his radical ways overly eccentric and sociopathic, Sarge just likes to think of himself as being extra dedicated to the cause.
Sample Entry:
Listen up, dirtbags. The name’s Sarge. That’s Sergeant Sarge to you, Winky. Save the ass kissing for after introductions. I’ve been assigned here as your new Drill Sergeant, replacing your old sergeant who was tragically infected by a virus that turned him into a wiiiild zombie with a craving for succulent human flesh. And then accidentally shot by me. Fifteen times. And then twice more in the head just in case.
Command’s gotta be a lot quicker with those cultural differences memos. Would’ve killed the whole lot of you if it hadn’t been for Winky here nobly waving the red flag. But don’t get any bright ideas! I’ve still got my eyes on all of you and anyone showing any signs of unorthodox dietary changes will be promptly given a dose of shotgun-lead-to-the-face. That oughta help straighten out your unnatural cravings, you sick bastards.
But remember the past is the past! It’s time to move beyond our differences as alive and breathing and dead and decaying. Time to look forward to the new future where red zombies and humans alike will defeat the blue zombies in glorious undead combat! Now I have reports that most of you prefer the good old fashioned hand-to-hand combat. Or mouth-to-face. I like a good strangling myself every now and then, but I think we’ll be able to improve our overall efficiency and threat factor if everyone equips himself with this standard issue shot gun. No one will expect zombies to be wielding the very instrument of their own frequent demise! It’s brilliant!
Before we can get you meatbags equipped, you’re all going to have to undergo firearm training. While blindly shooting into the masses is an enjoyable activity, and one I frequently endorse, I want to be sure that you’ll be firing into the blue masses and not the red ones. This overly elaborate diagram I’ve prepared should help clearly depict who our common enemy is. Note all the dead blue-colored figures laying dismembered on the ground. That’s what we want the blue team to look like when we’re done with their sorry butts.
Enough with the fancy diagrams; it’s time for a field test! I’ve hidden ten blue targets out in that field and I want all of you to go out there, locate each of the targets, and rip them to shreds with the unique savagery that only individuals who have given into the mindless need to feed can produce.
Bonus points if you bring back the head!
Poll Vote!
Character: Asari
Series: 是-ZE-
Character Age: a whole lot older than the ~mid-twenties he looks
Job: First Aid for Dummies (NEW AND IMPROVED: learn with a hands-on approach!)
Canon: Kotodama (言霊）is the ability to use words as a weapon. However, when this ability is utilized to hurt or kill, the user is often physically injured as a result. To protect themselves, most kotodama make use of a "kami", or a paper-person substitute. These substitutes are paper people in the most literal sense, created through a mixture of paper pulp and a small amount of blood and bone to give them a personality and appearance. They look and act like humans practically perfectly in every way. These kami take on the kotodama's injuries through a transfer of touch and bodily fluid(s).
Asari is one of the oldest kami, and has the arrogance that comes with age. He's flippant, casual, and enjoys joking around. Asari's a trickster and teases people to enjoy their reactions, but it's very rare of him to do anything potentially dangerous with his pranks. That said, pissing him off is dangerous, as he's one of those people who ^___^ when they're annoyed, but has no qualms about being violent when angry. It can take him a while to warm up to someone, but he is very passionate in his loyalty once it's earned. Dismissive of authority, Asari would much rather laze around and drink than do what someone else wants him to do, but if he's made up his mind to do something, it's ridiculously difficult to get him to stop.
Sample Post:
"First aid for"--what? Wait, hold on a sec, first-aid isn't exactly my thing. I can't think of a worse person for a job like this! Your director didn't do her research very well at all, ahaha... I seriously can't teach anyone my method of healing, though. And honestly, was the whole hands-on thing really necessary in the course description? Advertising that is just--ew. Bad taste, seriously. It's kind of like saying "MASSEUR FOR HIRE, specializing in delicate areas" or something along those lines. I'm not that easy, even if that's what she said! I promise you, there wouldn't be a happy ending for anyone if I tried.
Well, I guess I have some baaasic idea of first aid. Point me in the direction of the injured and maybe I'd be able to give you some ideas on how to fix them? Bandages, gauze padding, ice packs... And some sort of antibiotic-liquid-thing for open wounds, if I recall correctly. What was it...sulfuric acid? Wait no, hyrdochloric...? I know there's a "hydro" in there. Hydrogen peroxide! Right, that. Haha, I was close! Sort of~. But in any case, who's the injured party? Wait, it's you guys? But...you're zombies. Zombies are already dead! Just, well. Risen from the dead! And I know I'm stunningly good looking, but there's only so much I can raise...if you get my drift ♥.
In any case! I can't do anything about your deadness, so all this insisting isn't going to get you anywhere. Hey, did you know? Even the most skilled healers can't help you if you've got maggots gnawing on your brain! Stop trying; that's beyond the realm of first-aid, and is now in the realm of necromancy. Or is that voodoo? Huh... I don't know much about all those strange Western ritual bits and pieces and what not. I do know that even if you can bring the dead back, though, they won't be the same. You won't be the same, if someone tried to call you back. It's a soul thing, see, which isn't so much like a halo or angel wings or whatever it is people seem to think. It's kind of like a big ball of wibbly wobbly, soul-y rolly...stuff.
Too difficult to explain! Let's move on, I went waaay off topic there. So, first aid, first aid. What else can I say about this class I'm supposed to be teaching? Oh, oh! I got it! So, I know it says "Hands on First Aid" but hands-on does not mean your hands can be on me. Or up my shirt. Or in my pants! Right, this has gone on long enough. This class has now become a HANDS-OFF class. And trust me, I mean that very, very literally. Ahahaha~!
Poll Vote!
ETA: Well, in a spectacular comedy of errors, apparently gmail was eating delicious emails on Friday night! If your app is missing and you haven't contacted me yet, don't panic, just resend your application to the app inbox with a quick note at the top. If you could notify me too about your circumstances - Katherine on IRC/tenuously at googlemail dot com - I'd be grateful. The real final app round will go up in a few hours, after the PSTers have had a little while to wake up and confirm that these apps are all that are left. Thanks for your patience, guys. ♥ Please continue to vote on this batch as you normally would, of course.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed. WE'RE NEARLY THERE, FOLKS.
Character name: Hiroto Suto/ Go-On Gold
Series: Engine Sentai Go-Onger
Age: 26
Job: Ornithological counselor
Canon: Imagine this: a group of interplanetary, corporate evildoers set on dedicating their 9-5 to complete pollution of the eleven worlds. Of course, this all becomes relevant when they target ours: the Human World. Five people stand up to defend our planet’s ecosystem: the Engine Sentai Go-ongers. Clad in spandex, this team of five road warriors fight alongside their partners: Engines, animal and vehicle hybrids who come from Machine World. As time goes on, the battles become insurmountable--and thus they receive help in the form of the Go-On Wings: two siblings, trained by the Engines themselves to be the best of the best. At first, the Go-Ongers have a hard time adjusting to the new addition--egos clash and prides get wounded--but eventually they all come to work together.
The elder of the two siblings, Hiroto, is a calm and skilled individual. As part of the Go-On Wings. his Engine partner is Toripter, an energetic chicken-helicopter. Um. Yeah. Despite being cold and off-putting at first, he isn’t a bad guy--just a little egotistical. When you’re talented with music, trained in boxing, a good actor, a genius, the elite of the elite, and have psychic inclinations to boot, pride comes naturally. Really, he can do anything and everything. However, Hiroto does eventually open up to the team; he’s a very caring and protective individual (especially when it comes to his younger sister). He’s even accepted into the group as their father-type, a title he’s not entirely open in accepting. It’s embarrassing! Of course, the man isn’t all unreachable awesomeness--he harbors a fear of ghosts. Dad can’t be perfect all of the time.
Sample Entry:
'Ornithological Counselor'? There are two things this can mean, and I cannot accept either. One, I am no teacher; I would not speak with children on birds. Even if I have the knowledge for the position, I must turn this down. I have more important things to do, and there are others qualified to do the same thing. Counseling the birds themselves... the very concept is ridiculous. They're quite all right on their own, even if some of the species here are rather exotic for their setting. I would not delegate myself to a care taking position. I apologize, but I cannot-- Wait, I feel a voice calling to me. Over here?
Something must have happened; was it you? It can't be... I don't get feelings like that for simple issues such as a bird being stuck in a tree. Toucan Sam, if that's your real name, this problem seems more your own fault than an outside circumstance. True, this topiary may have interrupted your flight path with undergarments, but you should have been paying more attention.
Not only that, but you're very clearly overweight. Following your nose should no longer be the case, if it simply leads you to another bowl of cereal. What about a proper diet? Even I know that toucans feed primarily on fruit. Eating just sweetened multigrain is an insult to Ramphastos everywhere. That's the name of your family, by the way. I'm highly disappointed by you. This isn't advice; it's simply saying that even a human knows more about you and what's good for you than your pathetic self.
I would also appreciate it if you didn't call for me any longer. You may be a bird gifted with psychic powers, but you do not deserve them. You're putting no use to them, and wasting them like this only insults us both. Were I in you--and I would never be, remember that--I would start a strict regimen of exercise and improve my diet. While Froot Loops can be part of a balanced breakfast, they are not something you can sustain yourself on completely.
Before you ask, I'm not going to help you get out of the tree. If you cannot get out, then you should take the time and reflect on your life and your current predicament. Your position may be high in the air, but this is definitely a rock bottom for you. Maybe you can turn your life around now; mistaking Fruit of the Loom for Froot Loops isn't impossible to fix.
What do you mean, ‘I’m hired’? That was not my intention at all!
Poll Vote!
Character: Trish
Series: Devil May Cry
Job: Trolling and Cockblocking Counselor
Canon: 2000 years ago, a demon named Sparda sealed away the King of Hell, Mundus and in doing so, saving humanity. One of his twin sons, Dante, runs a small demon hunting business and that is where it all begins. In order to lure Dante to his death, Mundus created a clone of his mother and sent her to retrieve him. Being a creation of the King of Hell himself, she ruthlessly does her work and lures Dante in by bursting through the front of his store and stabbing him with his own sword. Her job was simple: lure him to Mallet Island due to the fact that she's a clone of Dante's mother Eva and kill him; if not because of the scorned demons there, then by his own brother. Her role was to keep him occupied and to trick him to stay there until Mundus killed him. However, despite her betrayal, Dante protected her and in turn, she did him. Thus her role as his very hot partner to the very campy and oft lazy, Dante.
Throughout the game(s) and the anime, Trish develops from a drone to someone seeking themselves to solidifying her position as Dante's partner. At first, her motivations were the please her master and her creator. She didn't know what it was like to have freewill or to even have a soul. As the game progressed, she began to see what mercy was and what friendship was. Though she was out to kill him, Dante still saved her from Mundus' wrath and to repay him, she saved him. After their escape, Trish feels lighter and liberated from her drone state of life. It's after that when she evolves into the anti-Eva: fun, apathetic, carefree, hot tempered, bitchy, self-involved and quite the antithesis of what a mother should be. She shops for designer clothes on Dante's credit cards, she wrecks stuff and expects Dante to deal with it, Dante negotiates their fees and if it's not enough he gets yelled at and she expects him to do what she says. Dante might be the most important person in her life, but she outwardly treats him the worst. What a great partner.
Character Age: 3-4 ... but looks like she's in her mid-20s.
Sample:
I'll be straight with you, babes: I don't really see the point of me having to do anything. I'm pretty sure you're all big boys and girls and you don't really need a counselor. Look at my title, it says I'm the fucking counselor of "Trolling and cockblocking". I think it is really, really, really easy to do both:
Step one: Find someone.
Step two: Annoy them.
Success! You have managed to troll them. You can add different outfits and you can get more and more elaborate with your plans, but in the end it boils down to those two main principles. Then you're going to ask "But what about the cockblocking". Then let me tell you kids/campers/ladies/gentleman/assholes, this is how you do it:
Step one: Be attractive.
Step two: Make someone think that they have a chance of having sex with you.
Step three: Don't have sex with them.
Easy.
Now, I know this might damage people's fragile self esteem, so consider this your disclaimer before I tell you guys the truth. So, if you're one to cry easily, to bitch about how I'm a bitch or passively aggressively tell me that you're awesome and that not all people have poor self esteem: Hi, I'm Trish and I'm going to be your counselor. Please hesitate to ask me anything because I'm not really going to give a damn.
Are you gone?
Are you lingering or are you rolling your eyes at me for all of this?
Because hey, I was nice enough to give you a warning. Don't bitch at me if you get your sensibilities offended or your precious feelings were hurt.
Alright, I'm here for the zombies. It's so fucking awesome that there is actual stuff to do here apart from sing-alongs and whatever the hell it is that you guys do here. So, here's the plan: I'm probably going to be out there having fun clubbing stuff, getting into fights, drinking beer or doing my nails - or even all three.
You got the plan? Great, now stick with it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hijikata Toshizou.
Series: Hakuouki.
Character Age: Early thirties.
Job: Positively Uplifting and Completely Inspiring Motivational Speaker.
Canon: When a young girl leaves home to look for her missing father, she unexpectedly finds herself a witness to the murder of a few local samurai by what appears to be people from the Shinsengumi. As they turn on her, she's rescued by different members and brought back to their headquarters where, once they decide to let her live, she takes up their cause to support the Shogunate and keep the extremists in check. The longer she's with them, though, the more she learns about the dark secrets they've been hiding -- that there are certain members who have turned into Rasetsu (demons) and now need blood to survive, as well as the truth about her past and origin.
In Hakuouki, and with most interpretations of his character, Hijikata is known as the "Demon Vice-Commander." He's extremely serious and hardworking, and he takes great pride in being a samurai. This shows in the way he handles his position in the Shinsengumi and its members; the latter towards whom he can be very harsh and cruel at times, but this is because he wholeheartedly believes in their cause and is willing to fight and die for it. Even after he becomes a Rasetsu (which makes his nickname much more literal), and despite its hindrances, he still pushes himself and others forward, unwilling to accept defeat or failure. That's not to say that he's completely cold and unfeeling, and it shows in the way he treats Chizuru; one of the few people whom he can truly relax or show his weaknesses around. And underneath his grumpy exterior, Hijikata cares very deeply about his friends and comrades and does his best to ignore any teasing or heckling that gets thrown his way.
Sample Entry:
[There is a man standing in a field of corn. His senses are sharp and focused as he stares down the approaching foe. He hasn't drawn his sword just yet, but his hand is resting on the hilt. As they get closer, he locks eyes with the leader. They're wide and a bit sad and droopy, but he doesn't waver because underestimating the enemy will certainly lead to injuries, or even worse, death. He slides into a fighting stance. The creature opens its mouth wide as if in a yawn, but reveals sharp teeth in the process. And as he slowly draws his sword, it attacks -- running in close and lifting a powerfully short and stubby leg to...pee on his boot.]
--No! When I said "go for the ankles" I meant biting! Pissing on an enemy isn't going to make them flee in fear. Even if you're puppies, show some restraint! Now, there's been very little progress here and we're running out of time. You have to take this more seriously. There's no room for error on the battlefield, and if we're going to win, we have to give it a hundred percent! Stop sticking your tongues out at me and get back into formation. You're not getting any treats until we get this right.
[He sheathes his sword and sighs as they turn and romp back to edge of the field, tails wagging.]
I know Kondou-san said we needed all the help we could get, and I have no problem training new recruits... But ordering me to train puppies?! Even if they're demon puppies, this is still certainly extreme even for him. Since I've been charged with this task, though, it's my responsibility to see it through to the best of my abilities. I refuse to accept failure as an option. [Looks at his boot.] Although, perhaps I should have started with house breaking them in first, not that that would make this any less absurd.
[And with another sigh, he sets the grim prospects aside and his seriousness settles back into place.]
Everyone listen up and pay attention! --This means that I need all of you to stop chasing each others' tails and playing around. We've got a long, hard road ahead of us and in order for this to work, we need to focus. The goal here is to take the enemy by surprise, but that's not going to happen if you can't be fierce enough to cause damage. Even if you're small, you're still proud warriors and members of the Shinsengumi! You should act like it! Become wolves and stand tall. Bare your fangs and don't be afraid to draw blood! I'm giving you free reign to attack me where you see fit. If you find an opening or a weakness, I want you to take full advantage. Remember, this is war! Now, go!
[Hijikata falls into position again, ready and waiting as the troops charge and...run straight past him into a rabble of butterflies, yipping and barking playfully as they chase the delicate creatures around; their orders completely forgotten. He turns to watch them, frowning deeply.]
...I'm starting to doubt your commitment to the Shinsengumi.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Sarge
Series: Red vs. Blue
Age: Unknown, but sounds well into counselor age
Job: Drill Sergeant
Canon: Red vs. Blue follows the story of a war between two rival factions in the far future, locked in eternal combat for the greater good. A greater good that neither side is fully aware of, nor really cares about anyway. Instead, Red team and Blue team have boiled down their fight to ‘kill the other team and take their flag.’ With their bases only 500 yards away from each other and three men to each team you’d think they’d be done by now, but you’d be amazed by what laziness and incompetency can do to overall efficiency.
As the leader of the Red team, Sarge is a seasoned veteran with years of experience under his belt. He’s absolutely dedicated to the war and will stop at nothing to defeat the Blues. This generally results in a complete lack of care for his team’s welfare, frequent degradations, and occasionally turning one of them into a cyborg for maximum efficiency. While some people might call his radical ways overly eccentric and sociopathic, Sarge just likes to think of himself as being extra dedicated to the cause.
Sample Entry:
Listen up, dirtbags. The name’s Sarge. That’s Sergeant Sarge to you, Winky. Save the ass kissing for after introductions. I’ve been assigned here as your new Drill Sergeant, replacing your old sergeant who was tragically infected by a virus that turned him into a wiiiild zombie with a craving for succulent human flesh. And then accidentally shot by me. Fifteen times. And then twice more in the head just in case.
Command’s gotta be a lot quicker with those cultural differences memos. Would’ve killed the whole lot of you if it hadn’t been for Winky here nobly waving the red flag. But don’t get any bright ideas! I’ve still got my eyes on all of you and anyone showing any signs of unorthodox dietary changes will be promptly given a dose of shotgun-lead-to-the-face. That oughta help straighten out your unnatural cravings, you sick bastards.
But remember the past is the past! It’s time to move beyond our differences as alive and breathing and dead and decaying. Time to look forward to the new future where red zombies and humans alike will defeat the blue zombies in glorious undead combat! Now I have reports that most of you prefer the good old fashioned hand-to-hand combat. Or mouth-to-face. I like a good strangling myself every now and then, but I think we’ll be able to improve our overall efficiency and threat factor if everyone equips himself with this standard issue shot gun. No one will expect zombies to be wielding the very instrument of their own frequent demise! It’s brilliant!
Before we can get you meatbags equipped, you’re all going to have to undergo firearm training. While blindly shooting into the masses is an enjoyable activity, and one I frequently endorse, I want to be sure that you’ll be firing into the blue masses and not the red ones. This overly elaborate diagram I’ve prepared should help clearly depict who our common enemy is. Note all the dead blue-colored figures laying dismembered on the ground. That’s what we want the blue team to look like when we’re done with their sorry butts.
Enough with the fancy diagrams; it’s time for a field test! I’ve hidden ten blue targets out in that field and I want all of you to go out there, locate each of the targets, and rip them to shreds with the unique savagery that only individuals who have given into the mindless need to feed can produce.
Bonus points if you bring back the head!
Poll Vote!
Character: Asari
Series: 是-ZE-
Character Age: a whole lot older than the ~mid-twenties he looks
Job: First Aid for Dummies (NEW AND IMPROVED: learn with a hands-on approach!)
Canon: Kotodama (言霊）is the ability to use words as a weapon. However, when this ability is utilized to hurt or kill, the user is often physically injured as a result. To protect themselves, most kotodama make use of a "kami", or a paper-person substitute. These substitutes are paper people in the most literal sense, created through a mixture of paper pulp and a small amount of blood and bone to give them a personality and appearance. They look and act like humans practically perfectly in every way. These kami take on the kotodama's injuries through a transfer of touch and bodily fluid(s).
Asari is one of the oldest kami, and has the arrogance that comes with age. He's flippant, casual, and enjoys joking around. Asari's a trickster and teases people to enjoy their reactions, but it's very rare of him to do anything potentially dangerous with his pranks. That said, pissing him off is dangerous, as he's one of those people who ^___^ when they're annoyed, but has no qualms about being violent when angry. It can take him a while to warm up to someone, but he is very passionate in his loyalty once it's earned. Dismissive of authority, Asari would much rather laze around and drink than do what someone else wants him to do, but if he's made up his mind to do something, it's ridiculously difficult to get him to stop.
Sample Post:
"First aid for"--what? Wait, hold on a sec, first-aid isn't exactly my thing. I can't think of a worse person for a job like this! Your director didn't do her research very well at all, ahaha... I seriously can't teach anyone my method of healing, though. And honestly, was the whole hands-on thing really necessary in the course description? Advertising that is just--ew. Bad taste, seriously. It's kind of like saying "MASSEUR FOR HIRE, specializing in delicate areas" or something along those lines. I'm not that easy, even if that's what she said! I promise you, there wouldn't be a happy ending for anyone if I tried.
Well, I guess I have some baaasic idea of first aid. Point me in the direction of the injured and maybe I'd be able to give you some ideas on how to fix them? Bandages, gauze padding, ice packs... And some sort of antibiotic-liquid-thing for open wounds, if I recall correctly. What was it...sulfuric acid? Wait no, hyrdochloric...? I know there's a "hydro" in there. Hydrogen peroxide! Right, that. Haha, I was close! Sort of~. But in any case, who's the injured party? Wait, it's you guys? But...you're zombies. Zombies are already dead! Just, well. Risen from the dead! And I know I'm stunningly good looking, but there's only so much I can raise...if you get my drift ♥.
In any case! I can't do anything about your deadness, so all this insisting isn't going to get you anywhere. Hey, did you know? Even the most skilled healers can't help you if you've got maggots gnawing on your brain! Stop trying; that's beyond the realm of first-aid, and is now in the realm of necromancy. Or is that voodoo? Huh... I don't know much about all those strange Western ritual bits and pieces and what not. I do know that even if you can bring the dead back, though, they won't be the same. You won't be the same, if someone tried to call you back. It's a soul thing, see, which isn't so much like a halo or angel wings or whatever it is people seem to think. It's kind of like a big ball of wibbly wobbly, soul-y rolly...stuff.
Too difficult to explain! Let's move on, I went waaay off topic there. So, first aid, first aid. What else can I say about this class I'm supposed to be teaching? Oh, oh! I got it! So, I know it says "Hands on First Aid" but hands-on does not mean your hands can be on me. Or up my shirt. Or in my pants! Right, this has gone on long enough. This class has now become a HANDS-OFF class. And trust me, I mean that very, very literally. Ahahaha~!
Poll Vote!