(no subject)
First batch! As a reminder, check your HTML before submitting your application. We already have a few borked tags! Apps are still open, ftr. ♥
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Name: Hatake Kakashi
Canon: Naruto
Age: 29-30
Job: CFUD Gossip Columnist
Canon: Naruto is the story of how determination, friendship and bright orange jumpsuits can help you become the most awesomest ninja around. It is a shonen epic about three young ninja from their training days to their world-altering, life-changing battles. Over a period of several years, the characters learn and grow, with help from other ninja along the way.
The three kids’ first team leader and teacher is Hatake Kakashi. Kakashi is chronically calm, cool and disconnected and he often uses his blasé attitude to make people underestimate his talent, skill and strength. Kakashi keeps his personal life hidden from his students-all except his well-broadcasted love of Icha Icha, or “make out” adult novels. He will often whip these out when he’s bored or underchallenged in a fight, mostly for comedic effect or to throw his opponent off. Why he does such a thing and his overall motivations are a mystery to those around him. He has a tendency to give advice, but it’s almost always a sorry attempt at motivation layered thinly over a carelessly insulting attitude. Kakashi’s quirky but seemingly apathetic affect make him something of a doofy enigma to those around him.
Sample Post:
Ahh, so, I’m late. Wasn’t there something I was supposed to be doing here…? Hm… Ah, that’s right; the message said gossip columnist. I thought it would be amusing but no one is really that interesting. People’s lives here aren’t really worth noting, don’t you think? I suppose I could talk about which of you has lost an arm or an eye or whatever it is you’re losing these days, but after awhile, it becomes the same old, same old. Can people really read about that regularly? Even if I only write it once a month, eventually people will start skimming. It’s a shame these things have become commonplace.
You would think that someone would have the decency to be intriguing but… ah, I guess there’s nothing to be done. Even that monster up there on her silo is pathetic. Not really much of a monster; I guess she’s afraid to come down, or just lazy. What do you have to do to avoid her, just stay out of range, right? Nothing special. There’s no drama or suspense at all. Haa… I’m getting bored just talking about why it’s boring.
You should do some research on how to really make this place worth writing about. I brought some extra Icha Icha novels... but on second thought, I want to keep them in good condition. Pay attention, though, and I’ll explain how you can make your lives less mind-numbing. It’s not that you’ve got the most boring lives. After all, you’re all still conscious... or semi-conscious. But there’s a real chance to improve, especially if you work together. Looking at you, though, I don’t have high hopes. Even with the, what was it? Ah, mistletoe? Twice a year, that’s not enough to keep curious minds engaged. Everything’s all backwards, really. You have the setting and the plot, but everyone wants the good stuff. It seems like there’s a lot of build up, but no satisfaction.
What a good story needs is a climax but with the rules here... You’re really just screwing yourselves.
Poll Vote!
Character: Terui Ryuu
Series: Kamen Rider W
Character Age: 24
Job: Captain of the CFUD police squad
Canon:In the windy city of Fuuto, crime runs amok. There are tools being sold to people called Gaiamemories that grant a person superhuman powers and turns them into something called Dopants. Dopants are the monsters of the day; they commit crimes from petty larceny to destruction of grand scales. Most people who use them get consumed by the power of a Gaiamemory and tend to go on a power-driven rampage. However, all hope is not lost for there are people called Kamen Riders that protect Fuuto and all its inhabitants. One such duo is Kamen Rider W and the other is Kamen Rider Accel.
Kamen Rider Accel is Terui Ryuu. When he first came to the windy city, Terui Ryuu placed vengeance and personal satisfaction above the needs of Fuuto’s citizens, a thought process he has since discarded. As a man of justice, the most important thing to him now is protecting the people. He is also very strict, curt, speaks precisely without wasting any words and is very serious most of the time. He also hates it when people ask him questions and states that very clearly whenever anyone tries. He’s captain of the police Fuuto Squad after getting promoted for his abilities and what he’s accomplished. And when he transforms, Terui has the tendency to pause dramatically between syllables.
Sample Post:
My name is Terui Ryuu, Captain of the Fuuto City Police. And, from this day on, I will be the Captain of Camp for Unnecessary Dopants’ police squad. I've been reassigned to this jurisdiction because there have been signs of Dopants running loose throughout this area. The Gaiamemories being used are called zombie. I'm recruiting you into my ranks to help solve this case. However, those purple gorilla suits won't work. I know it’s important to camouflage oneself to mix in with the surroundings, but that isn’t necessary for this job. There are standard issue police uniforms in this white van I brought with me. Please wear them with pride.
Yes, I know very well that you're untrained. That too will be part of my job. I will train you in self-defense, as well as the use of a baton and guns. The last two are to be used carefully. They aren't toys. They're tools to aid in the capture of criminals and the protection of the innocent. As Captain, I’m placing my trust in you that you’ll use these weapons wisely. They are also-- you there! What are you doing? Shambling about like that, it's a disgrace to see such uncoordinated movements.
Wait. I see it now. You're one of the Dopants. It really is true; you do look unnecessary. What a faulty Gaiamemory you have. You're literally falling to pieces. Is that your arm or your leg on the floor? It doesn’t matter; even if you are unnecessary, you’re still a danger to the general public. Still, I thought these were high-grade Gaiamemories that were being used. Even if they’re not, it’s clear to see that they’ve already taken over your mind; already, you’re calling out for brains to satiate your hunger for power. You can try as hard as you want, that won't stop me from fighting and defeating you. After that I’ll take you into custody.
I'll take your jaw falling off as an affirmative- what? There’s no need to ask me questions! Don’t ask them! I’ll tell you this right now; there's one important thing you should know about me. I won’t answer any of your questions no matter the reason! I wouldn't answer anything from a criminal like you anyway. All that waits for you now is despair. Now, are you prepared for justice? Good.
Then hen....................shin!
Poll Vote!
Character: Marian Hawke
Series: Dragon Age II
Character Age: 28-30
Job: Champion of Camp
Canon: Change is coming. Chaos has spread throughout the land and Thedas is on the brink of war. To find out the truth behind the catalyst, a Chantry Seeker kidnaps a dwarf named Varric to interrogate him on the story of his friend, and the one said to have started it all; a Fereldan refugee by the name of Hawke. Hailing from the quaint farming village, Hawke rose from Zero to Hero by immigrating to the city of Kirkwall to escape the Blight; an invasion of creatures known as Darkspawn. There she garnered fame and fortune throughout the decade until she finally became the Champion of Kirkwall.
There are many ways to describe Hawke; she can be diplomatic, she can be aggressive, she can also be sarcastic with an eccentric/bad sense of humor that few would appreciate. At her core, Hawke is the type of person who takes her duty as the head of her family seriously and will do whatever it takes to survive and protect her friends and family. Courageous and charismatic, she draws people to her and has a knack for finding trouble even when she isn’t necessarily looking for it. However, despite how she playfully sasses the requester or sighs dramatically about how it seems as if she has to solve everyone’s problems, she still tackles whatever quest that’s thrown her way head on and gets the job done. Whether it be rescuing the viscount’s son, attempting to exorcise demonic abominations or even helping a romantically-challenged friend find love.
Sample Entry:
Does it feel rather dead around here or is it just me?
Oh, don’t mind me. I simply felt like it needed to be said. But what a very curious place this is, considering all those people that look suspiciously like the undead frolicking about the farmlands mumbling about brains. However, if you aren’t worried then I suppose there’s no reason I should be! Although I do have to say that you are quite...unique yourself, seeing as you are not exactly human, yet you oddly seem to understand what I’m saying. That is, if the gestures you make are any indication. Either Lady Sayre has a commendable sense of humor, or you must be very accomplished for a monkey if you were made her aide.
Now that that’s out of the way, can you explain to me exactly what being the “Champion of Camp” entails? Oh, don’t give me that look! I might have been the Champion of Kirkwall, but what applies there might not necessarily apply here. Admittedly, not getting into trouble for once would be a pleasant change, but I doubt I would be lucky enough that my new job would lack in excitement. So what is it? Would I have to duel the demon in the water tower? Save a little boy from a well? Perhaps the Lady Director wishes for me to find her missing betrothed? All of the above? ...nothing of real substance? Well then, I suppose it’s no different from my old job after all! Just point me to the nearest disgruntled villager and I’ll see what random errand I can find!
Although...if the Lady Sayre doesn’t mind, perhaps I could use this lack of substance in my job here as chance to take a vacation. Now a farm in the middle of nowhere is hardly what I would call my ideal getaway, but I suppose it will have to do. In a way, being here does give me a nice sense of nostalgia and brings me back to all those delightful family moments on the fields of home when father would scold me for using magic to set my pesky little brother’s pants on fire. Surely there won’t be a full scale war erupting here while I’m trying to relax and attempt to smell the flowers and enjoy the sunshine. But oh, who am I kidding? I doubt I would be able to idly sit around for more than a few hours before one of those villagers fumbling in the corner comes to me to ask for help in finding their missing limbs. Or maybe one of them will come over to say that their unfortunate skin disease is actually the result of the curse of some crazy mage and they want me to help them lift it.
Hopefully there will be a dragon involved... if I can count on my luck!
Poll Vote!
Character: Elijah
Series: The Vampire Diaries
Character Age: Unknown; presumed to be thousands of years old. Appears to be in his early 30s.
Job: Keeper of Camp Lore and Mythology
Canon: Welcome to Mystic Falls, Virginia! It's a small town that's rich with history -- not to mention the supernatural. Vampires, witches, werewolves -- you name it, it's probably there. Elena Gilbert finds herself entangled deeply in both in The Vampire Diaries as she attempts to navigate her way through high school while dealing with the Salvatore brothers, who both happen to be in love with her and are vampires. Quel surprise! Elena comes to discover that she is central to a supposed curse placed on vampires and werewolves that can only be broken with her death. This makes her a prime figure for a power grab between all the supernatural types in Mystic Falls and even beyond, each with their own motives.
Elijah is one such supernatural type -- a vampire, and an "Original" vampire to be precise. He's an eloquent man who poses as a visiting author with an interest in Mystic Falls’ rich history, endearing himself to many of the prominent figures in town. His manner of speaking is polite, although he has a wicked sense of humor and a great deal of snark at times. Around most people, he's a well-spoken man with a bit of bite to his speech. To those who know who or what he actually is, he's a self-assured man who doesn't mince words. Elijah is also a vampire with a sense of honor who will keep his word when he gives it -- so long as he is given the same respect. As an "Original" vampire, Elijah is much stronger than the average vampire. He can walk in the sun, tear out a werewolf's heart without batting an eye, and most importantly, he cannot die unless it's done in an incredibly specific manner. Fortunately, his goals line up with Elena's, and he finds himself in a murky alliance with her and the Salvatores. His main priority? Taking out the show's mysterious big bad and keeping Elena safe -- all while sipping wine and offering dry one-liners.
Sample Post:
Flyover country is rather quaint, isn’t it? Still, even a remote location such as this can be rife with a rich history. Every city, even the smallest of towns, has their own set of stories, of lore that runs the gamut between the believable and the more far-fetched. Although given your current undead state, I suppose you're already quite aware of that, aren't you? I've heard similar stories about the walking dead, but to see it first hand ... fascinating. I'd imagine my excitement would be much more palpable, however, if any of you were the least bit impressive. Your guttural groans and sluggish shambling are hardly capable of instilling fear in the heart of any man. They say that fact never quite lives up to myth, and I'd have to agree -- you're living proof of that. Well, not living, but you get the idea.
All the same, you're a part of the rather extensive and intricate web of mythology that's been woven around this encampment. You see, there are a number of stories that have been passed on -- some which carry a certain amount of truth, and some that are complete ... well, I believe "crap" would be a sufficient yet polite term for it. And it seems that I've been assigned the task of having to wade through this web and perhaps make some amount of sense out of it. Not that I mind, of course. As an author and a historian of sorts, I can appreciate a good story, whether or not it has a basis in reality. However, "good" is a rather subjective concept, and this habitat seems to derive a sort of sick pleasure in loosely interpreting that very concept, such as how it prefers to interpret the "fabled" prohibition on copulation. While the pain it inflicts upon those foolish enough to cross it is marginally amusing at times, it lacks the creativity of a truly imaginative myth. I believe Ovid’s Metamorphoses has already visited this territory several times over. That aside, it’s simply in poor taste.
Fortunately, there are a number of other stories floating around here that can sufficiently pique one's interest, such as the lore surrounding the creatures of this encampment. I've encountered quite a number of them already -- yourselves aside, I have been introduced to the metallic cows and the kraken that dwells on the silo.. The former are a bit ... counterproductive at best, I believe, given the lack of biological functions and general dearth of meat. What are you supposed to do with them again, exactly? ... Ah, never mind, forget that I asked. I can already tell that I would be better off not knowing. The latter is quite charming, if not a tad friendly. I can say with certainty that her mere existence is likely making one Mr. H.P. Lovecraft roll over in his grave.
But there's still one monster I have yet to see for various research purposes. So, if you would be so kind as to lead me to one, I'd be much obliged. Legend has it that they are far more powerful than any other monster here, literally carrying all of our lives in the balance as though it were nothing. Their wicked wings arch, and the nefarious red globe of theirs acts as a warning to all potential predators, with their beady eyes bearing down, full of intent. And we shall all know it by its deafening cry of ... "kupo."
Poll Vote!
Character: #004 aka Albert Heinrich
Series: Cyborg 009 - 2001
Character Age: 30
Job: Potato Salesman
Canon: Unbeknownst to the world, there is a secret organization known as "Black Ghost" whose only goal is to spread war and suffering. To achieve this, they developed cyborgs: humans with enhanced abilities. Unfortunately, they forgot to ask for permission and these cyborg soldiers rebelled against Black Ghost, making it their personal mission to rid the world of them forever. Joe Shimamura aka 009 along with the rest of the 00 comrades struggle to find a world where they can belong, without having to die or worse, succumb to Black Ghost once more.
Albert Heinrich was the fourth cyborg in the series to be remade by Black Ghost. A living weapon with bullet-shooting fingers and an atomic bomb for a heart, Albert takes great pains to remember the qualities of humanity, so that he may never be known as a "machine". Armed with a sardonic sense of humour, Albert has a tendency to lean on the negative side of matters, but that doesn't mean he's not optimistic when there's need for it. More prone to putting people down due to his loner streak, Albert shows his kindness through his actions rather than words.... once in a blue moon.
Sample Entry:
There is a really bad German joke in here, but I'm going to ignore it. Hey, the name's 004 and I'm here to promote potatoes. Considering the amount of corn you guys have got going for you, I say it's about time someone brought in some new stock. Normally, this isn't the kind of negotiations I do, but I thought I should give it a shot. Hey, relax, not that kind of shot. I'm not that trigger-finger happy and my fingers don't bite, so you can stop eyeing my hand like that. It's not like I have anything better to do with my time and from the looks of you all slobbering, neither do you. So! Let's talk potatoes. Good for frying, good for survival... In fact there was this time I was caught in a blizzard and potatoes saved my life! Crazy story, right? Well, it's all true. And let's face it, having potato chips is way better than plain old corn. Until you get sick of both, then you're pretty much doomed, but hey, I'm just the salesman. Don't blame me for your bad life decisions.
Hey, now no need to get antsy. I'm sure there are lots of finer qualities to potatoes than you know. Like the shape! I mean, isn't it just perfect for making figures? Just poke some holes in for eyes and stick a brush for hair. I know one guy who would fit that image perfectly and yeah, his hair really is that bad. They could make great stress-relief dolls. Yeah, I know, I'm reaching, but you've got to admit it could work. And you'll get into less trouble for beating up a potato than a real person, wouldn't you agree? I see you're finally warming up to the idea. About time too. This is taking way too much time. So, we've got potato chips, potato people... what else? Maybe I should stop making things up as I go along... nah.
So, are you interested or not? Because I have a whole truck of this stuff just waiting to unload and I've got to return it pronto. Just say the word and I'll get started. Wait, what do you mean you're not interested?! Look pal, I've travelled a really long way to deliver this and now you're not going to take it? Well, if that's how you want to end our bargaining, let me just put in my final offer. If you don't buy my entire stock right now, you'll have to talk to the hand. What's that? I can't hear you, better speak up or I might wave my hand "accidentally" in your direction. You'll buy everything? Thanks, you're a real life-saver, you know that? Those potatoes are in good, albeit crumbling hands now. At least they're not in mine and that's what counts.
What do you know, I guess I'm just a natural at negotiations.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Name: Hatake Kakashi
Canon: Naruto
Age: 29-30
Job: CFUD Gossip Columnist
Canon: Naruto is the story of how determination, friendship and bright orange jumpsuits can help you become the most awesomest ninja around. It is a shonen epic about three young ninja from their training days to their world-altering, life-changing battles. Over a period of several years, the characters learn and grow, with help from other ninja along the way.
The three kids’ first team leader and teacher is Hatake Kakashi. Kakashi is chronically calm, cool and disconnected and he often uses his blasé attitude to make people underestimate his talent, skill and strength. Kakashi keeps his personal life hidden from his students-all except his well-broadcasted love of Icha Icha, or “make out” adult novels. He will often whip these out when he’s bored or underchallenged in a fight, mostly for comedic effect or to throw his opponent off. Why he does such a thing and his overall motivations are a mystery to those around him. He has a tendency to give advice, but it’s almost always a sorry attempt at motivation layered thinly over a carelessly insulting attitude. Kakashi’s quirky but seemingly apathetic affect make him something of a doofy enigma to those around him.
Sample Post:
Ahh, so, I’m late. Wasn’t there something I was supposed to be doing here…? Hm… Ah, that’s right; the message said gossip columnist. I thought it would be amusing but no one is really that interesting. People’s lives here aren’t really worth noting, don’t you think? I suppose I could talk about which of you has lost an arm or an eye or whatever it is you’re losing these days, but after awhile, it becomes the same old, same old. Can people really read about that regularly? Even if I only write it once a month, eventually people will start skimming. It’s a shame these things have become commonplace.
You would think that someone would have the decency to be intriguing but… ah, I guess there’s nothing to be done. Even that monster up there on her silo is pathetic. Not really much of a monster; I guess she’s afraid to come down, or just lazy. What do you have to do to avoid her, just stay out of range, right? Nothing special. There’s no drama or suspense at all. Haa… I’m getting bored just talking about why it’s boring.
You should do some research on how to really make this place worth writing about. I brought some extra Icha Icha novels... but on second thought, I want to keep them in good condition. Pay attention, though, and I’ll explain how you can make your lives less mind-numbing. It’s not that you’ve got the most boring lives. After all, you’re all still conscious... or semi-conscious. But there’s a real chance to improve, especially if you work together. Looking at you, though, I don’t have high hopes. Even with the, what was it? Ah, mistletoe? Twice a year, that’s not enough to keep curious minds engaged. Everything’s all backwards, really. You have the setting and the plot, but everyone wants the good stuff. It seems like there’s a lot of build up, but no satisfaction.
What a good story needs is a climax but with the rules here... You’re really just screwing yourselves.
Poll Vote!
Character: Terui Ryuu
Series: Kamen Rider W
Character Age: 24
Job: Captain of the CFUD police squad
Canon:In the windy city of Fuuto, crime runs amok. There are tools being sold to people called Gaiamemories that grant a person superhuman powers and turns them into something called Dopants. Dopants are the monsters of the day; they commit crimes from petty larceny to destruction of grand scales. Most people who use them get consumed by the power of a Gaiamemory and tend to go on a power-driven rampage. However, all hope is not lost for there are people called Kamen Riders that protect Fuuto and all its inhabitants. One such duo is Kamen Rider W and the other is Kamen Rider Accel.
Kamen Rider Accel is Terui Ryuu. When he first came to the windy city, Terui Ryuu placed vengeance and personal satisfaction above the needs of Fuuto’s citizens, a thought process he has since discarded. As a man of justice, the most important thing to him now is protecting the people. He is also very strict, curt, speaks precisely without wasting any words and is very serious most of the time. He also hates it when people ask him questions and states that very clearly whenever anyone tries. He’s captain of the police Fuuto Squad after getting promoted for his abilities and what he’s accomplished. And when he transforms, Terui has the tendency to pause dramatically between syllables.
Sample Post:
My name is Terui Ryuu, Captain of the Fuuto City Police. And, from this day on, I will be the Captain of Camp for Unnecessary Dopants’ police squad. I've been reassigned to this jurisdiction because there have been signs of Dopants running loose throughout this area. The Gaiamemories being used are called zombie. I'm recruiting you into my ranks to help solve this case. However, those purple gorilla suits won't work. I know it’s important to camouflage oneself to mix in with the surroundings, but that isn’t necessary for this job. There are standard issue police uniforms in this white van I brought with me. Please wear them with pride.
Yes, I know very well that you're untrained. That too will be part of my job. I will train you in self-defense, as well as the use of a baton and guns. The last two are to be used carefully. They aren't toys. They're tools to aid in the capture of criminals and the protection of the innocent. As Captain, I’m placing my trust in you that you’ll use these weapons wisely. They are also-- you there! What are you doing? Shambling about like that, it's a disgrace to see such uncoordinated movements.
Wait. I see it now. You're one of the Dopants. It really is true; you do look unnecessary. What a faulty Gaiamemory you have. You're literally falling to pieces. Is that your arm or your leg on the floor? It doesn’t matter; even if you are unnecessary, you’re still a danger to the general public. Still, I thought these were high-grade Gaiamemories that were being used. Even if they’re not, it’s clear to see that they’ve already taken over your mind; already, you’re calling out for brains to satiate your hunger for power. You can try as hard as you want, that won't stop me from fighting and defeating you. After that I’ll take you into custody.
I'll take your jaw falling off as an affirmative- what? There’s no need to ask me questions! Don’t ask them! I’ll tell you this right now; there's one important thing you should know about me. I won’t answer any of your questions no matter the reason! I wouldn't answer anything from a criminal like you anyway. All that waits for you now is despair. Now, are you prepared for justice? Good.
Then hen....................shin!
Poll Vote!
Character: Marian Hawke
Series: Dragon Age II
Character Age: 28-30
Job: Champion of Camp
Canon: Change is coming. Chaos has spread throughout the land and Thedas is on the brink of war. To find out the truth behind the catalyst, a Chantry Seeker kidnaps a dwarf named Varric to interrogate him on the story of his friend, and the one said to have started it all; a Fereldan refugee by the name of Hawke. Hailing from the quaint farming village, Hawke rose from Zero to Hero by immigrating to the city of Kirkwall to escape the Blight; an invasion of creatures known as Darkspawn. There she garnered fame and fortune throughout the decade until she finally became the Champion of Kirkwall.
There are many ways to describe Hawke; she can be diplomatic, she can be aggressive, she can also be sarcastic with an eccentric/bad sense of humor that few would appreciate. At her core, Hawke is the type of person who takes her duty as the head of her family seriously and will do whatever it takes to survive and protect her friends and family. Courageous and charismatic, she draws people to her and has a knack for finding trouble even when she isn’t necessarily looking for it. However, despite how she playfully sasses the requester or sighs dramatically about how it seems as if she has to solve everyone’s problems, she still tackles whatever quest that’s thrown her way head on and gets the job done. Whether it be rescuing the viscount’s son, attempting to exorcise demonic abominations or even helping a romantically-challenged friend find love.
Sample Entry:
Does it feel rather dead around here or is it just me?
Oh, don’t mind me. I simply felt like it needed to be said. But what a very curious place this is, considering all those people that look suspiciously like the undead frolicking about the farmlands mumbling about brains. However, if you aren’t worried then I suppose there’s no reason I should be! Although I do have to say that you are quite...unique yourself, seeing as you are not exactly human, yet you oddly seem to understand what I’m saying. That is, if the gestures you make are any indication. Either Lady Sayre has a commendable sense of humor, or you must be very accomplished for a monkey if you were made her aide.
Now that that’s out of the way, can you explain to me exactly what being the “Champion of Camp” entails? Oh, don’t give me that look! I might have been the Champion of Kirkwall, but what applies there might not necessarily apply here. Admittedly, not getting into trouble for once would be a pleasant change, but I doubt I would be lucky enough that my new job would lack in excitement. So what is it? Would I have to duel the demon in the water tower? Save a little boy from a well? Perhaps the Lady Director wishes for me to find her missing betrothed? All of the above? ...nothing of real substance? Well then, I suppose it’s no different from my old job after all! Just point me to the nearest disgruntled villager and I’ll see what random errand I can find!
Although...if the Lady Sayre doesn’t mind, perhaps I could use this lack of substance in my job here as chance to take a vacation. Now a farm in the middle of nowhere is hardly what I would call my ideal getaway, but I suppose it will have to do. In a way, being here does give me a nice sense of nostalgia and brings me back to all those delightful family moments on the fields of home when father would scold me for using magic to set my pesky little brother’s pants on fire. Surely there won’t be a full scale war erupting here while I’m trying to relax and attempt to smell the flowers and enjoy the sunshine. But oh, who am I kidding? I doubt I would be able to idly sit around for more than a few hours before one of those villagers fumbling in the corner comes to me to ask for help in finding their missing limbs. Or maybe one of them will come over to say that their unfortunate skin disease is actually the result of the curse of some crazy mage and they want me to help them lift it.
Hopefully there will be a dragon involved... if I can count on my luck!
Poll Vote!
Character: Elijah
Series: The Vampire Diaries
Character Age: Unknown; presumed to be thousands of years old. Appears to be in his early 30s.
Job: Keeper of Camp Lore and Mythology
Canon: Welcome to Mystic Falls, Virginia! It's a small town that's rich with history -- not to mention the supernatural. Vampires, witches, werewolves -- you name it, it's probably there. Elena Gilbert finds herself entangled deeply in both in The Vampire Diaries as she attempts to navigate her way through high school while dealing with the Salvatore brothers, who both happen to be in love with her and are vampires. Quel surprise! Elena comes to discover that she is central to a supposed curse placed on vampires and werewolves that can only be broken with her death. This makes her a prime figure for a power grab between all the supernatural types in Mystic Falls and even beyond, each with their own motives.
Elijah is one such supernatural type -- a vampire, and an "Original" vampire to be precise. He's an eloquent man who poses as a visiting author with an interest in Mystic Falls’ rich history, endearing himself to many of the prominent figures in town. His manner of speaking is polite, although he has a wicked sense of humor and a great deal of snark at times. Around most people, he's a well-spoken man with a bit of bite to his speech. To those who know who or what he actually is, he's a self-assured man who doesn't mince words. Elijah is also a vampire with a sense of honor who will keep his word when he gives it -- so long as he is given the same respect. As an "Original" vampire, Elijah is much stronger than the average vampire. He can walk in the sun, tear out a werewolf's heart without batting an eye, and most importantly, he cannot die unless it's done in an incredibly specific manner. Fortunately, his goals line up with Elena's, and he finds himself in a murky alliance with her and the Salvatores. His main priority? Taking out the show's mysterious big bad and keeping Elena safe -- all while sipping wine and offering dry one-liners.
Sample Post:
Flyover country is rather quaint, isn’t it? Still, even a remote location such as this can be rife with a rich history. Every city, even the smallest of towns, has their own set of stories, of lore that runs the gamut between the believable and the more far-fetched. Although given your current undead state, I suppose you're already quite aware of that, aren't you? I've heard similar stories about the walking dead, but to see it first hand ... fascinating. I'd imagine my excitement would be much more palpable, however, if any of you were the least bit impressive. Your guttural groans and sluggish shambling are hardly capable of instilling fear in the heart of any man. They say that fact never quite lives up to myth, and I'd have to agree -- you're living proof of that. Well, not living, but you get the idea.
All the same, you're a part of the rather extensive and intricate web of mythology that's been woven around this encampment. You see, there are a number of stories that have been passed on -- some which carry a certain amount of truth, and some that are complete ... well, I believe "crap" would be a sufficient yet polite term for it. And it seems that I've been assigned the task of having to wade through this web and perhaps make some amount of sense out of it. Not that I mind, of course. As an author and a historian of sorts, I can appreciate a good story, whether or not it has a basis in reality. However, "good" is a rather subjective concept, and this habitat seems to derive a sort of sick pleasure in loosely interpreting that very concept, such as how it prefers to interpret the "fabled" prohibition on copulation. While the pain it inflicts upon those foolish enough to cross it is marginally amusing at times, it lacks the creativity of a truly imaginative myth. I believe Ovid’s Metamorphoses has already visited this territory several times over. That aside, it’s simply in poor taste.
Fortunately, there are a number of other stories floating around here that can sufficiently pique one's interest, such as the lore surrounding the creatures of this encampment. I've encountered quite a number of them already -- yourselves aside, I have been introduced to the metallic cows and the kraken that dwells on the silo.. The former are a bit ... counterproductive at best, I believe, given the lack of biological functions and general dearth of meat. What are you supposed to do with them again, exactly? ... Ah, never mind, forget that I asked. I can already tell that I would be better off not knowing. The latter is quite charming, if not a tad friendly. I can say with certainty that her mere existence is likely making one Mr. H.P. Lovecraft roll over in his grave.
But there's still one monster I have yet to see for various research purposes. So, if you would be so kind as to lead me to one, I'd be much obliged. Legend has it that they are far more powerful than any other monster here, literally carrying all of our lives in the balance as though it were nothing. Their wicked wings arch, and the nefarious red globe of theirs acts as a warning to all potential predators, with their beady eyes bearing down, full of intent. And we shall all know it by its deafening cry of ... "kupo."
Poll Vote!
Character: #004 aka Albert Heinrich
Series: Cyborg 009 - 2001
Character Age: 30
Job: Potato Salesman
Canon: Unbeknownst to the world, there is a secret organization known as "Black Ghost" whose only goal is to spread war and suffering. To achieve this, they developed cyborgs: humans with enhanced abilities. Unfortunately, they forgot to ask for permission and these cyborg soldiers rebelled against Black Ghost, making it their personal mission to rid the world of them forever. Joe Shimamura aka 009 along with the rest of the 00 comrades struggle to find a world where they can belong, without having to die or worse, succumb to Black Ghost once more.
Albert Heinrich was the fourth cyborg in the series to be remade by Black Ghost. A living weapon with bullet-shooting fingers and an atomic bomb for a heart, Albert takes great pains to remember the qualities of humanity, so that he may never be known as a "machine". Armed with a sardonic sense of humour, Albert has a tendency to lean on the negative side of matters, but that doesn't mean he's not optimistic when there's need for it. More prone to putting people down due to his loner streak, Albert shows his kindness through his actions rather than words.... once in a blue moon.
Sample Entry:
There is a really bad German joke in here, but I'm going to ignore it. Hey, the name's 004 and I'm here to promote potatoes. Considering the amount of corn you guys have got going for you, I say it's about time someone brought in some new stock. Normally, this isn't the kind of negotiations I do, but I thought I should give it a shot. Hey, relax, not that kind of shot. I'm not that trigger-finger happy and my fingers don't bite, so you can stop eyeing my hand like that. It's not like I have anything better to do with my time and from the looks of you all slobbering, neither do you. So! Let's talk potatoes. Good for frying, good for survival... In fact there was this time I was caught in a blizzard and potatoes saved my life! Crazy story, right? Well, it's all true. And let's face it, having potato chips is way better than plain old corn. Until you get sick of both, then you're pretty much doomed, but hey, I'm just the salesman. Don't blame me for your bad life decisions.
Hey, now no need to get antsy. I'm sure there are lots of finer qualities to potatoes than you know. Like the shape! I mean, isn't it just perfect for making figures? Just poke some holes in for eyes and stick a brush for hair. I know one guy who would fit that image perfectly and yeah, his hair really is that bad. They could make great stress-relief dolls. Yeah, I know, I'm reaching, but you've got to admit it could work. And you'll get into less trouble for beating up a potato than a real person, wouldn't you agree? I see you're finally warming up to the idea. About time too. This is taking way too much time. So, we've got potato chips, potato people... what else? Maybe I should stop making things up as I go along... nah.
So, are you interested or not? Because I have a whole truck of this stuff just waiting to unload and I've got to return it pronto. Just say the word and I'll get started. Wait, what do you mean you're not interested?! Look pal, I've travelled a really long way to deliver this and now you're not going to take it? Well, if that's how you want to end our bargaining, let me just put in my final offer. If you don't buy my entire stock right now, you'll have to talk to the hand. What's that? I can't hear you, better speak up or I might wave my hand "accidentally" in your direction. You'll buy everything? Thanks, you're a real life-saver, you know that? Those potatoes are in good, albeit crumbling hands now. At least they're not in mine and that's what counts.
What do you know, I guess I'm just a natural at negotiations.
Poll Vote!